Hebrews, Hamas and Healing

01/11/09

Author: Dr. Don McMinn

Jews and Palestinians continue their conflict with both sides sustaining casualties. The conflict between Arab and Jew did not begin this week, or even this century. The war is not simply over land, or power or ideology-although all play a role. And war between countries and peoples is not healed without forgiveness. That's why Jesus came. We extend forgiveness because Christ purchased forgiveness for our sins by dying a brutal death on the cross. So how can we forgive?

Forgiveness is a divine gift, totally contrary to human nature, waiting to free us from another year of hurt, bitterness and anger.

We need to understand three things about forgiveness. First, we cannot earn it. Second, it is not for sale. And, third, we already have it if we have simply asked Christ into our lives. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13)

Forgiveness brings us freedom and healing to others. We are set free from unresolved anger that leads to bitterness and other emotional poisons. Forgiveness is the life-giving water poured upon a parched, dry relationship. It may not settle all the questions of blame and fairness, but it allows us to begin anew. When we forgive others, we offer them grace – release from the emotional trauma that sin brings. Consequences of their deeds may remain, but now they can deal with that, released from the emotional guilt.

After the defeat of the South, Abraham Lincoln was asked how he would treat the rebellious Southerners on the return of those states to the Union.  “I will treat them as if they had never been away,” was the president’s reply of implied forgiveness. Do we have friends, relatives, co-workers who need us to welcome them back as if they have never been away?

Let’s look at some practical suggestions for implementing our resolution of forgiveness.

1.    Remember that forgiveness is a choice. It is a function of our will, not our emotions. We seldom feel like forgiving someone who has hurt us.
2.    We are called to forgive others because we have been forgiven through Christ’s sacrifice. Sometimes we think the offender doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. But the fact is, no one deserves to be forgiven. Only by the grace of God have we been forgiven. God canceled our debt, so that we are free to extend forgiveness to others.
3.    Following Christ’s example, we should forgive whether or not the offender asks for it. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they’re doing,” Jesus said on the cross. (Luke 23:34) Forgiveness isn’t based on whether our offender deserves it or asks for it. We forgive because we have been forgiven. It is a matter of stewardship.
4.    When God forgives us, he does so with no strings attached. We should do likewise. A meaningful statement of forgiveness never includes “ifs” and “buts."
5.    Even though we should not put conditions on our forgiveness, it is acceptable to share our deep hurts. Being able to communicate our feelings can bring great healing to a relationship, but our forgiveness doesn’t depend on it.

My mom demonstrated the essence of forgiveness -- be quick to forgive and slow to hold a grudge. In this New Year, we can choose to hold tightly to our hurts and keep living with bitterness and anger, or we can choose to follow Christ’s example of forgiving one another. Either way it takes resolve.

Don McMinn, Ph.D. (with Kimberly Spring)
Executive Director of theiPlace.org
The 11th Commandment: Experiencing the One Anothers of Scripture

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