Many hurting people coming to the church for help are dealing with an unchangeable issue in their family system which is constant and painful and creates a stress level that is difficult to manage. Biblical guidelines show us how to help a person cope with circumstances that will not change.
1. Acknowledge only God can change another person.
2. Be accountable to God for how you respond to others.
3. Concentrate on what you can change.
4. Pray specifically and in accordance with Scripture.
5. Develop a strong inner life of devotion.
6. Accept things as they are.
7. Acknowledge suffering isn't bad; it just hurts.
8. Stay connected to a Christian support system.
9. Maintain self-control.
10. Avoid "if only" thinking.
11. Be assertive and focused in applying your strategy.
Victorious living in the midst of trying circumstances can be a spiritual reality for all Christians.
Dr. Steven L. Dowdle, "Helping the Hurting in Your Church" p. 200.