Hi, I don't feel comfortable stating my name, but I am 17 and a Christian. I was raised as one and was always told and preached that without God and believing he died for me then I'm not living right. But I have these constant lows lately...I always pray to God for help and strength but I never get anything back and that just makes me so much more angry at him that he won't help me. I know he is but at the same time, I feel like id be better off just giving up. I guess my main question is, if were to one day give up and let in to my depression and commit suicide...would if go to heaven still?
I am so sorry! I know how you feel! I was standing on a third-floor balcony the day I decided to jump. The problem was just how to do it. If I jumped off feet first I decided that I would probably just break both legs and have to explain to everyone what I was doing. The other option was to dive face first and I decided that the sudden stop sounded awful. I remembered my freshman year in college during final exams when one of the students jumped out a dormitory window face first. The Baylor Lariat newspaper described how his eyes popped out of his head. I didn't want my eyeballs lying outside their sockets.
So, I backed away from the ledge and leaned my back against the wall and sat totally depressed.
I wasn't worried about going to Heaven or to Hell. Jesus forgave all of my sins at the cross--even suicide was forgiven.
As I sat thinking It dawned on me that I didn't want to enter the Heavenly Throne Room before my time.
I imagined Jesus saying: "Roger, what are you doing here? I'm not scheduled to see you for another forty-seven years. I have so much planned for you to do."
Arriving early to meet Jesus before He was finished with me on earth made suicide much less attractive.
Dear Unknown, you are depressed and depressed people don't think clearly. My philosophy is that I never make important and/or life changing decisions when I'm depressed. Life always looks dark to one who is depressed.
2. Talk to a pastor or Christian counselor right away. If you don't know of a pastor or counselor, find a mature Christian with whom you can talk and pray. Don't navigate these waters alone!
3. Before you make any unchangeable-life decisions please go find a medical doctor who can give you anti-depressant medication. Life can look very hopeless when you are depressed. And, it can look really good when you aren't. People who are not depressed seldom have any thoughts of suicide. So, get some medical attention for depression ASAP. If you can't find a doctor, there is even a chat room with a medical doctor who can give you assistance. You can even go to a hospital emergency room in your area.
4. If you continue to think of committing suicide, you may need long-term support. Medical and psychological professionals can help get you back "up on your feet." Many churches have Christian psychologists who will walk with you through recovery. You are not alone.
5. Find a trustworthy friend and prayer partner. Depressed people don't see things rationally. They don't need reasons and explanations and not much encouragement. Hurting people need comfort.
Jesus said in Matthew Five: "Blessed are they who mourn,. for they shall receive comfort." Mourning and comforting take at least two people--one to mourn and one to comfort.
Comfort is the language of depression. Find a friend. You will be surprised at how many friends and neighbors are around just waiting to help.
By the way, it is not a sin to be depressed and want to commit suicide. Job experienced deep depression as recorded in Genesis because of great trials that fell upon his life. Fortunately, Job worked through the pain finally got his life back together and had a great ending. You can, too.
Be comforted. God has a plan and purpose for your life. Peter taught that God matures to us to look like Jesus by sending and/or allowing us to go through trials and difficulties.
Handling depression for me was made much easier the day I realized that God was using my depression to help mature me to look Jesus. I decided that I was alive, like all Christians, to express the love of Christ and to help advance the Kingdom of God right here, right now.
Now, concerning the suicide, yes, according to the Bible people can go to Heaven even if they commit suicide. but, you don't want to commit suicide. Remember, God has a time and plan laid out for your life. He has all sorts of good intentions for you. Again, you don't want to come into the throne room unannounced before your time. So, I would encourage you to continue to find strength and peace from God to keep on living.
Let me know how you are doing.
I am praying for you.