Don't Let Shame Keep You Back
- Levi Lusko
- May 18, 2022
- 30 min read
Don’t Let Shame Destroy You
Levi Lusko
A couple of things. The first is that next week is Mother's Day and we
invite you back. Fresh Life Church is a place to be Mother's Day. Very
special worship experience planned. So don't miss out on that. Then
secondly, two weeks from now we're going to be kicking off a brand new
series that we've been gearing up for a while called Thank You, Next.
Thank You, Next. And we're going to be with a little help from Ariana
preaching a series that's all around this idea, this thought. What's the
context to some of the most famous passages in scripture? And we're
going to be looking at some of those verses that a lot of us know, a lot of
people around the world know. And we're going to be trying to understand
them in their natural habitat.
We're going to be like getting our Steve Irwin on. And we're not going to go
to the zoo to look at them, we're going to go to see them in the Savannah.
We're going to go see them in the Australian Outback and see what the
verses around them or even the whole chapter kind of helps inform what
they actually mean versus just them being plucked out and put on a board
and hung on the wall. Thank You, Next is gearing up. So we invite you back
for that. And then lastly, big news. Movement Conference is coming 2022
summer, August 4th through the 7th. And this Wednesday is a big day for a
Movement Conference. There's a price jump on Wednesday at midnight on
the 4th. The price jumps from $200 to $250. So get your registration in
before that. And while we're talking about Movement Conference, we're
excited that we have also added to the lineup Phil Wickham, who is going
to be with us for Movement Conference, live and in person in Big Fork,
Montana.
Phil has been a friend for a long time. And God is just using his life in
extraordinary ways. And we're really excited that he's going to be coming
out with his band and part of a Movement Conference. Man, if you're not
like listening to Phil or listening to Crowder and throwing some Kari Jobe
together and Cody Carnes getting your Movement Conference playlist on,
you're crazy. These guys are unbelievable. Their songs, it's just going to be
incredible. So if you're keeping track, that is an amazing lineup for
Movement Conference. The whole thing here, I mean it just keeps getting
better and better and better-er-er-er-er. Fresh Life Worship and Chris
Quilala. And y'all, we’r e not even done yet. Look at that square, still TBD.
We know it, you just don't know it yet. And it's going to be sick. So get
signed up.
All right, grab your Bibles. Thank you, team. We appreciate you. And we're
going to be in this message continuing a conversation that we began on
Easter talking about shame. And if you have a Bible with you, turn with me
to Psalm Chapter 34. Title of my message is don't let shame hold you back.
Want to talk to you about how to break free from the grip of shame.
Because it is one thing to believe that shames power was canceled. And
it's a whole different thing to live functionally out of that. Because you can
know something and not live out of it at the same time. Now by way of
recap if you weren't here with us when we began this conversation, shame
is basically guilt's evil little twin. Guilt takes you on a trip and the trip that
you can end up on, even after guilt power has been canceled by the cross,
is called shame. Where guilt deals primarily with what you have done,
shame wants to talk about who you are. Guilt says if you're listening to it, I
did wrong. And that's a good thing.
By the way, conviction is a gift. The awareness of guilt is to know that
you're not a sociopath. That you can feel wrong. You should be thankful if
the Holy Spirit lets you know that there's guilt in your life because then you
can do what you need to with that guilt. It's a wonderful thing. I did wrong.
Oh my goodness. Oh, thank you, God. Now I can do something about it.
Shame is completely different. Shame doesn't say you did wrong, shame
says you are wrong. Shame doesn't say you did bad, shame says you are
bad. I am bad. I am wrong. I didn't make a mistake, I am a mistake. Do you
see what I'm talking about? Guilt primarily deals with your legal standing
where shame concerns itself with your identity. Guilt can be understood,
the facts of guilt can be understood by a newspaper reporter.
Anybody who's into journalism understands the who, what, when, where,
why, and how. That's how you figure out guilt. What you did, when you did
it, why you did it, who was with you when you did it, and what was going
on at the time, right? Shame is far less logical. Shame doesn't have to
make sense on paper. As you write the story of it shame doesn't always
even have a direct one to one correspondence. You can end up in shame
for something that actually on paper you shouldn't feel shame for. But try
telling that to your emotional self. Shame doesn't make sense and it
doesn't need to because it's essentially an emotional trauma. Where does
the stuff come from? Because shame is bad, right? It's like they don't want
that. I'm hearing that I'm like, I don't want that. We don't want guilt either,
but guilt is in our lives as well. But fortunately guilt can be taken care of.
But what we need to understand is that long after guilt problem has been
solved there can still be the lingering effects of shame.
And so where does it come from? It comes from, of course, sins that we
commit. It also comes from sins that other people commit, things that
people do wrong to us. We did nothing wrong, but now we can end up
walking in the smoldering lingering effects of shame years and even
decades after the event is over. And that's because of sin other people
have committed. But then you can also just accumulate wounds and nicks
and bruises from living on a fallen planet. And consequently, now you can
be dealing with shame through no fault of your own or someone you know,
but just because life can be brutal because it's fallen and because it's
cursed.
There is a sense in which this world is not what it was meant to be. And
now you just are dealing with what you had this blood disorder, you had this
issue, you got in this car accident. You didn't ask for the drunk driver to hit.
You didn't ask for this to take place. You didn't know there was going to be
black ice. And there's almost not a week where I don't get a letter from
someone just dealing with pain and learning to find power in it, which is
always God's plan. But you can if it's not carefully treated develop shame
and now your identity is somehow linked to this brutality. We're just
recapping here. I like what Daniel Dewitt had to say on the subject. This is
profound. You might want to take a picture of this quotation. He said, "Guilt
is the wound. Shame is the scar. Guilt is isolated to the individual. Shame is
contagious. The child whose father is imprisoned, the wife whose husband
is unfaithful, the daughter whose mother is abusive, they all share in the
shame. They feel their self-worth is lessened. Shame wraps its arms
around their ankles tightly, allowing them to walk but never to run. Shame
says, you need to hide. You're no good. You deserve to live in darkness.
Come with me, I'll lead the way".
Powerful. And if you're not careful and if you don't face it and if you don't
take the tools that God has given you to deal with it, shame will continue to
haunt you long after guilt shadow is no longer on you. Long after your guilt
has been dealt with, you can still be bound up in shame. And what I think
we need to discover in order for shame not to hold us back is to discover
the sound of shame. Because just like a healthy soul has a sound, and by
the way, that sound is praise. That sound is a song. That sound is worship.
So the idea of shame in our life will always have a sound. What does
shame sound? Like it sounds like I can't because. I would if I fill in the
blank. It sounds like I am defined by my worst day. You don't understand, if
you had been through blank you wouldn't blank or you would blank as well.
Or it sounds like I am only as good as my last accomplishment. I'll probably
fail you when I need you or I'm not good enough. Or I don't deserve
blessings because. Or I will never
That's what shame sounds like. And where does shame lead? If we follow
shame on this trip that guilt began and now we are on, where will it go? The
answer is the grave. Shame only ends in death. Like the man in Proverbs
who was invited to a party, he was excited to get an invitation. He's like Oh
my gosh, I got invited to a party. And he takes the invitation, and he shines
his shoes, and he gets this outfit on only at the end of the chapter to
discover that he was invited to a banquet in the grave. And that only
Proverbs 9:18, "The dead are there, and that her guests are in the depths of
hell". Proverbs, as you might know, is personifying wisdom versus
foolishness. And while in Proverbs 9 the actual invitation was from a
foolish woman, we could substitute that for a shameful woman.
When you listen to shames voice, when you follow it will feel seductive at
the time because of victim mentality or living out of a wound or living out
of sin at times can feel in some sort of a sado masochistic kind of way like
appropriate. Like I'm suffering and I deserve to suffer. I'm just paying for
the sins of my past. Or I'll never see my grandchildren say because if I'd
have been a better grandfather earlier on or whatever we might say might
feel right and somehow feel good. To listen to her voice is always to end
up at a party in the grave. A grave that's the death of a relationship, the
death of a calling, the death of a dream, the death of what Jesus wants for
your life today to feel like. So I don't know about you, but I think shame
has got to go. God has so much more for us.
When we think about the choose your own adventure path of shame,
because here we are saved, free from guilt, no longer needing to continue
on living lives of shame. We see that fork in the road so vividly when Jesus
rose. And I said on Easter that the Resurrection, which today is still very
exciting the thought of life over death, that when he came out of the grave
he did so to open up for us lives freed from shame. Not just guilt but from
shame as well. And I think there's a lot of Christians who have been saved
for decades but are still bound up in that shame. But we see this picture.
Here's Jesus who's come out of the grave and all 12 of his disciples let him
down. We know that they all forsook him, they fled him. Only John had the
courage to show up at the cross. And yet, what a vivid contrast if you take
the 11 and then you take Judas and what the difference was between
those two.
Now, we know they all hid. We know they all found their way to cope with
the shame before the 11 eventually found the freedom from shame they
needed in Jesus. And then could be filled with the boldness and could be
filled with the confidence. Because friends, on the other side of your shame
is you being a bright light in a city on a hill. Truly saying I've got nothing to
be ashamed of. And now I can get on shining my light like I'm supposed to.
But Judas feeling the same feelings of I'm a disappointment and I let Jesus
down. I'm not just cowardly, I am a coward. I didn't just commit betrayal, I
am a betrayer. He, the Bible says, took his shame and instead of bringing it
to Jesus to deal with he took it to where? The grave.
That's what shame sounds like. And where does shame lead? If we follow
shame on this trip that guilt began and now we are on, where will it go? The
answer is the grave. Shame only ends in death. Like the man in Proverbs
who was invited to a party, he was excited to get an invitation. He's like Oh
my gosh, I got invited to a party. And he takes the invitation, and he shines
his shoes, and he gets this outfit on only at the end of the chapter to
discover that he was invited to a banquet in the grave. And that only
Proverbs 9:18, "The dead are there, and that her guests are in the depths of
hell". Proverbs, as you might know, is personifying wisdom versus
foolishness. And while in Proverbs 9 the actual invitation was from a
foolish woman, we could substitute that for a shameful woman.
When you listen to shames voice, when you follow it will feel seductive at
the time because of victim mentality or living out of a wound or living out
of sin at times can feel in some sort of a sado masochistic kind of way like
appropriate. Like I'm suffering and I deserve to suffer. I'm just paying for
the sins of my past. Or I'll never see my grandchildren say because if I'd
have been a better grandfather earlier on or whatever we might say might
feel right and somehow feel good. To listen to her voice is always to end
up at a party in the grave. A grave that's the death of a relationship, the
death of a calling, the death of a dream, the death of what Jesus wants for
your life today to feel like. So I don't know about you, but I think shame
has got to go. God has so much more for us.
When we think about the choose your own adventure path of shame,
because here we are saved, free from guilt, no longer needing to continue
on living lives of shame. We see that fork in the road so vividly when Jesus
rose. And I said on Easter that the Resurrection, which today is still very
exciting the thought of life over death, that when he came out of the grave
he did so to open up for us lives freed from shame. Not just guilt but from
shame as well. And I think there's a lot of Christians who have been saved
for decades but are still bound up in that shame. But we see this picture.
Here's Jesus who's come out of the grave and all 12 of his disciples let him
down. We know that they all forsook him, they fled him. Only John had the
courage to show up at the cross. And yet, what a vivid contrast if you take
the 11 and then you take Judas and what the difference was between
those two.
Now, we know they all hid. We know they all found their way to cope with
the shame before the 11 eventually found the freedom from shame they
needed in Jesus. And then could be filled with the boldness and could be
filled with the confidence. Because friends, on the other side of your shame
is you being a bright light in a city on a hill. Truly saying I've got nothing to
be ashamed of. And now I can get on shining my light like I'm supposed to.
But Judas feeling the same feelings of I'm a disappointment and I let Jesus
down. I'm not just cowardly, I am a coward. I didn't just commit betrayal, I
am a betrayer. He, the Bible says, took his shame and instead of bringing it
to Jesus to deal with he took it to where? The grave.
So what do we need to know? We need to know that in order to not let
shame hold us back, we need to be able to find our light. To find our light.
Spoiler alert, the light that is meant to shine from you does not come from
you. The light that's meant to come out of your life is not something that
can originate inside of you. So in order for us to be the light, we have to
stop staring at ourselves. Who or what do we stare at then? That's why
we've turned to Psalm 34. King David is going to show us how. Now we're
going to not just read the Psalm, and we won't read it all because of time, I
encourage you to read the remainder of the verse on your own time. You
are allowed to read the Bible when you're not in church. Brand new law, just
got passed. So amazing week.
Psalm 34 verse 1 starts out, "I will bless the Lord at all times". But notice
there's a heading. Back up and above it you'll see it. Look at right there on
the screen. You get context clues. This is a geotag. This is like when you go
in your iPhoto library and you swipe up on a photo and it tells you what kind
of settings were being utilized and if you've allowed it in your geolocation,
where it was taken, and even faces that were in it, right? This is pretty cool.
We're told this Psalm was written when he pretended madness before
Abimelech, who drove him away and he departed. This is interesting. This
is a sorted event in the life of David, much earlier than when he was driven
out of the kingdom by his own son Absalom, who staged a rebellion and
tried to take the throne from him. His father-in-law, Saul, had done the
same thing to him when he was a young boy.
Just after he had slain Goliath and then led in many different battles, the
children of Israel into victory and into success. And for his efforts he had
been given Saul's daughter Michael as his wife. And he had been given
many rewards. Saul began to grow jealous of David. Saul began to see
David as a threat. Instead of celebrating that someone had done all this,
that he had raised up and given opportunity to, he began to despise David.
Literally the Bible says, "His eye began to grow suspicious toward David".
How you look at things dictates how you respond to things. And David
began to be eyed by Saul, who began to give in to the green-eyed monster
of envy and was dealing with his own unprocessed shame as well. No
doubt. And as a result, David who refused to lay a hand against King Saul,
ended up having to live on the run.
A chapter of his life repeated many, many different times. And during that
time he kept trusting God, kept following God. And he refused to kill Saul
even though he was given many opportunities. And finally it seems David
had grown tired, because he first told a number of lies at a place called
Knob. And then he finally decided, this is exhausting. I'm going to leave
Israel and go live with the Philistines. David living in the land of the
Philistines is unthinkable. It's like Batman and the Joker subletting an
apartment together in Harlem. It's like what is going on? Like dude, you
can't go to the Philistines. And it just seems David just was tired and run
down. And we all have these kind of days as well. And once there he was
quickly arrested, quickly put into custody, and then he realized in panic that
he was going to get killed by the King of the Philistines.
And so he pretended he was crazy. He led his saliva run down his beard
and he started acting like a stark raving lunatic because he knew the
Philistines had this weird superstition about putting crazy people to death
or even being around him because they thought he was contagious. And so
David does an incredible act. And the Academy award goes to David for
acting like he's insane. And they boot him and evict him out of the country.
This is just awesome. Like these stories are just like, what the heck? Like
David and Goliath I know. Saul, all I knew a little bit about. David pretending
he's crazy and beside himself, I did not know. But he's back in Israel now
and he's feeling terrible. Terrible for the lies. He's feeling terrible for not
trusting God and going to the Philistines.
And then having a lie to the Philistines to get out of it because you know
what? Lies are contagious too. Tell one lie, then you tell another lie. Then
you have to keep track of which lie you told what version to. And eventually
you end up like legion, many different versions of yourself. You're not
united in your own person. David, you could have pictured him in a cave.
And what's happening now? The shame is setting in. Big man after God's
own heart you turned out to be. Oh yeah, sweet shepherd of Israel. The
shame. The shame. The shame. And what does he do to deal with his
shame?
Notice, let's read together. "I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall
continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord. The
humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let
us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord and he heard me and
delivered me from all my fears. They looked to him and were radiant. And
their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out and the Lord heard
him and saved him out of all of his troubles. The angel of the Lord
encamps all around those who fear him and delivers them". What a
promise to think about in your home. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is
good. Blessed is the man who trusts in him. Oh, fear the Lord, you his
saints, there is no want to those who fear him. The young lions lack and
suffer hunger, but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing".
And then if you jump down to verse 15, "The eyes of the Lord are on the
righteous and his ears are open to their cry".
So Father, we thank you for this Psalm. We thank you for this
Psalm and the knowledge of the circumstances under which it
was written. And we pray like you wrestled David out of the
jaws of shame, you would do the same for us as we consider
how to not let shame hold us back. We pray this in Jesus'
name. Amen.
Well, since we want to be salt and light and we know shame will always
stop us from that because shame makes us hide. And as Jesus said in
Matthew Chapter 5, we are not meant to light a lamp and then put a bucket
over it. We're not meant to hide that light, which is what shame is intending
for all of us, to not be the light that we're meant to be. What do we need to
do on a daily basis to get past shame's power? Write this down. Number
one, you need to constantly remember your new identity. My new identity.
Because shame is trying to speak to a version of ourselves that we no
longer are. The reality is at times shame speaks things that are true or talks
about things that are true. Talks about sins that did happen. And it wants
us to see ourselves through the lens of who we no longer were.
Now this also involves things others did to us and just all just complete
boldface lies. I'm unworthy of love. I'm damaged goods. No one would ever
want me. But at times shame also does say, you are this because you did
this. And when you think, well, I did do that, it's tempting to give into it. So
what you have to constantly keep doing is remembering your new identity.
Ephesians 5 verse 8, "For you once were darkness, but now you are light in
the Lord. Walk as children of light". So what this means is you have to
remember regardless of what you've been through or regardless of what
you've done or what's been done to you, the moment you trusted in Christ
you became a new creation. And God looks at you through the lens of the
imago dei, the image of God that is inside of you. So shame is speaking
about all these different things. Don't blur the issue.
Remember, regardless of anything you've done or that's been done to you,
who are you? You are now a child of God. You are now a new creation like
Paul told the Corinthians. Now this was a screwed up place full of, we know
just some of the things we know of going on, an incest just on a Friday
night. Incest, orgies involving men with men, men with women. We know
people having soirees with their mother in-laws and their sons-in-laws. I
mean, just unbelievable stuff. And the gospel is preached. And Paul didn't
ever say get yourself right. Get your sexual ethic right. Get your life sorted
out and then you can be saved. He just went in and said, here's what Jesus
did for you. Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Would you like to receive
salvation? And those who came to Christ knew that there was going to be
changes, but they knew that after they began to know Jesus.
And so Paul in the books of 1 and 2 Corinthians is having to sort all this
stuff out. Not as a way to earn salvation, but showing them who they are on
the inside and now what that means for their daily life. And so he makes
this radical statement in 1 Corinthians 6. He says you know that no
murderer, no adulterer, no fornicator, no homosexual, no unclean person it's
going to be in heaven, right? And it's the shocking statement. It sucks all
the oxygen out of the room. And then he says, and such were some of you.
But he has saved you. He has watched you. He has changed you. He has
justified you. The point is Paul was saying all that as a gotcha. Because the
moment he chose no adulterer is going heaven, well, it was nice knowing
you.
All right. I've put things ahead of God. No fornicator is going to be? What a
provocative statement. There will be no greedy person in heaven. Right.
No one has ever told the lie is going to be in heaven. And you go oh my
God, there's no liars in heaven? I'm done for. No adulterers are in heaven?
Screwed, right? All of us are, because Jesus even took it a step further
and said, have you lusted after a woman in your heart? Newsflash, that's
spiritual adultery and there are no adulterers in heaven Paul says. And
such were some of you, but he has saved you. He has washed you. He has
cleansed you in the blood of Jesus Christ. Meaning you are not those
things, even if you did those things yesterday. If you do any of those
things tomorrow. It's not who you are. You can't lose through bad behavior
what you didn't earn through good behavior.
So the motivation to live like God wants us to live isn't to earn a standing
before or to get rid of shame that's still lying about us. It's remembering we
are not those things. We are children of the King. Such were some of you,
but we're not darkness. We're light. That's how God sees us. So what is the
process of remembering your new identity to combat shame on a daily
basis? It's you seeing you like your God sees you. Write that down at the
top of your journal. I need to see me like God sees me. And if I'm a
Christian, what does God see when he looks at me? He sees Jesus.
Because on the cross he saw me. And so now in me he sees Jesus. He
doesn't see your sin.
So how dare you hold yourself in shame that God doesn't hold you in? Levi,
I know God might be able to forgive me but I can't forgive me. How dare
you think that your opinion matters more than God's opinion? Because he
doesn't hold you accountable to those sins anymore, so why would you? So
what does that mean, your new identity? It means on a daily basis stopping
the scripts that shame speaks over you in their tracks. 2 Corinthians 10:5,
"Casting down their arguments, casting down every high thing that exalts
itself against the knowledge of God thinks it's better than him, knows more
than him, and wants to belittle the significance of the cross".
What do we do? We bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of
Christ. I'm not joking when I say that you should begin to verbally stop
yourself. That's not true. It's running through your head. Speak to it out
loud. That's not true. In the name of Jesus, that's a lie. I don't believe that. I
don't agree with that. Shame has no place on me. Come on, take off that
old garment. Take off those shame clothes. We are learning to shed the
garments of shame by walking in our new identity. As verse 13 of Psalm 34
puts it, "Do not let your tongue speak evil". Here's the truth, Psalm 103:12,
"As far as the east is from the west, so far he has removed our
transgressions from us". Shame wants you to feel unworthy, but the truth is
because of Jesus Christ you are worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of care, and
that's exactly what you've been given.
That's why our second way to not let shame hold you back is empathy.
We're going to lead ourselves with empathy. Did you know that Romans
chapter 2 verse 4 says that it's the goodness of God that leads us to
repentance? Another translation says it's God's kindness that leads us to
salvation. Meaning no one has ever been saved because someone was so
harsh and so argumentative that eventually they said uncle and got saved.
It's that kindness of God that causes us to repent. And repentance literally
means a change of mind. A lot of the shame is in our minds. A lot of the
shame is in the thoughts that we think, which is why we have to constantly
be combating that with thoughts about our new identity. But we need to do
so with ourselves gently, because we will not be able to get ourselves to
change without that kindness, without that empathy. And a part of empathy
is common ground. And relating, hey, what are you feeling? I get that. It's
not crazy that you feel that way.
I understand if I'd have been through what you've been through, I might be
tempted to feel shame as well. So we need to be kind with ourselves. This
involves me saying I understand, Levi, why you would feel the way that
you do. I understand what you're saying. I hear what you're saying. It does
make sense. Because what I'm trying to get you to see and my counselor
told me this, you can never fight shame with shame. So I can't shame
myself into not feeling ashamed. It's the limbic brain fighting the limbic
brain. It's all emotion. It's all feeling. It's all panic. It's all fight or fright. But
we have to calm down enough to listen and to care and to hear what we're
feeling and to pay attention to it and ask those questions. Where is this
coming from? How old does this feel? What developed this shame
mechanism? What developed this tendency to want to hide? To want to
armor up? To want to belittle myself or want to lash out to make it a self
fulfilling prophecy so that you treat me like I suspect you will in the end
anyway because of my shame?
So when we lead ourselves with empathy, we talk to ourselves the way that
we would talk to someone we love. Imagine someone you love came to you
and began to articulate shame to you. What would you say to them? Would
say to them tenderly, dear heart, that makes sense what you're saying but
here's the truth. And you would lovingly speak to it. Why are you so much
meaner to you than you would be to someone you love? Jesus says that as
we love ourselves we are to love our neighbors. So that means we do need
to love ourselves. And if God loves us, then we need to love us. And see
there's value in us and tenderly care for and shepherd ourselves. That's why
David was telling himself to bless the Lord at all times. To keep God's
praise always in his mouth. He was leading himself with empathy.
The third, jot this down, community. If you want to break free from shames
hold on your life you need other people. Did you catch it? What David said
in the Psalm chapter 34? "Let us exalt his name together". David was
feeling the shame but he said to the other people, "Magnify the Lord with
me and let us exalt his name". He was in the cave, but he didn't stay in the
cave alone. His mighty men came to him. His friends came to him. Other
people who would defend him, they came to him. He had a posse. He had a
crew like Jesus Christ who had Peter and James and John. David had his
giant slayers. And he didn't have to face that battle with shame alone. So
why would you think you would be victorious when you're meant to do so
with two or three gathered together, united together in the battle against
shame?
Write this reference down. 1 John 1:7, "But if we walk in the light as he is in
the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus
Christ his son cleanses us from all sin". It's a powerful thought to think
about us together breaking free from shame's power by no longer
struggling in the dark with this battle that we're facing of how unworthy we
feel and how difficult it is when there's an incredible strength that comes
from the community of the fellowship. The Church of people that we can
admit we are weak to and have them say, you're not crazy and I feel that
too. Brene Brown, shame researcher and prolific author, said that shame
needs these three things to grow. She says if you get these three things
mixed together in a Petri dish the result of it in the science experiment is
always going to be shame. Secrecy, silence, and judgment. And the devil
wants you to keep your sins a secret so he can strangle you with them in
silence.
And then you begin to judge yourself, which is the voice of the accuser. One
of the words for the devil is Satan and Satan literally means accuser,
accuser of God's presence. He's accusing, you do this. The moment you
sinned, which he tempted you to do. He's like, do this. You'll feel great. Do
this, it'll be awesome. And you're like, all right. And you do it and he's like
stupid. God, look what he did. You can't show your face around here. And
so what does man do? Man hides. You're right. I don't deserve. It's really a
tale of three trees, isn't it? Tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We took
the fruit from that tree. So what does Adam and Eve completely start doing
when the enemy accuses them? They go to the other tree and pull the fig
leaves and they hide among the trees.
As God comes, God wouldn't want to walk with me anymore so they hide
from God. And so what does God do? He sends his son Jesus to hang on a
tree and have the shame paid for so that we can take off the garments of
shame, take off the fig leaves, and no longer in secrecy say to one
another, this is me. This is my struggles. This is my fight. So we can all
say to each other, me too. Come on, I got your back. I'm weak too. I've
been there. I've been there. I've been there. I've been there. I've been there.
I've been there. I've been there. But we get to speak our new identity over
each other. That's why you logged on today so we can say to you, you are
a new creation. Come on, you're a love child of God. Come on, you're worth
fighting for. You're not the bad things that you've done. You're not the hard
things that you've been through. Some of those things may have
consequences that are going to be a process.
Paul the apostle, it was a limp that he walked with every time he thought
about Stephen's face. He was there when Stephen was stoned to death
before Christ. You don't think that was a part of his testimony? You don't
think Paul, who told us to take every thought captive, didn't have to exercise
that? Every time as he was falling asleep he saw the look on Stephen's face
in his mind. You don't think there was a temptation to see and to feel that
shame as he would describe himself as the chief of sinners and a tendency
at times to go back into that shame cycle and to feel despair? But what did
he do? He told us his story. He says, I was a blasphemer. I was an insolent
man. He says, I tore down the Church of Jesus Christ. And every time you
tell your story, you break shame's power.
Every time you pipe up and say, here's where I've been. Here's what I've
done. Here's me at my worst. I was taken advantage of. I was treated badly.
I developed a shame mechanism. I'm telling you it breaks shames power to
speak about it. It cannot handle. Nothing sanitizes like sunlight. And this is
not a church where we all have to keep our shame a secret. This is a
church where we can say, here's what I'm struggling with. This is me. This
is what God's doing in my story. And when we open up in this community,
we become a church presided over by someone whose name was the
friend of sinners. Someone who is willing to touch and to be touched by
those who need his love.
And then fourthly, and we're almost done and we're going to pray for God's
power to hit that hard reset in our hearts. That like Paul's selfishness
scales would fall from our eyes. Holy Spirit in me, write that down. How do I
break free from shame's power? Yes, this new identity and empathy and
community, but it's the Holy Spirit in me that if we listen to his voice,
because shame speaks like a tornado. Shame speaks like an earthquake.
Shame speaks like a fire. But there is still, small voice of the Holy Spirit who
only has one thing to say to you and it's this. You're my son. You're my
daughter. You're my son. You're my daughter. And there is nothing you can
ever do to make your father stop loving you.
Romans 8:15, "You did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear".
What kind of spirit did you receive? The spirit of adoption. "Spirit of
adoption by whom we cry out Abba, Father". Tell me there is a greater
picture of true love than adoption and I'll tell you it's not true. I love all my
kids, but I didn't know what I was loving when I got them. To adopt a child
is to know what you're getting and want it. And to say, I choose you. Your
father adopted you. He saw you and he didn't hope you'd get it together. He
saw you with your brokenness. He saw you with your pain. He saw you with
your trauma. And he said I choose. You and every time you're tempted to
say, I'm not worthy. You avert your eyes. You don't look him in the eye. You
don't want to show up at church. You won't be around your Christian
friends for a while because you feel unworthy. You feel dirty. You feel
damaged. If you listen to the Spirit, he's saying you're my child. You're my
child. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you.
So shame is not where your story ends. And if you find your light, that's
what you do when you take a photo if you're a model. You find the light
and then you work your angles. Find your light, work your angles. Find
your light, work your angles. Find your lights. David said, "I will magnify
the Lord. I will sing to the Lord. I will bless the Lord. And they who looked
to Him," verse 5, "were radiant. Their faces were not ashamed". You know
what's funny about looking away from the light? Shadows start to collect.
But when you look into the light, there is no shadow as I look at it because
the light drives away all the shadows. The shadow of shame can't stay
when you're looking into the eyes of your Heavenly Father.
And I love the way the story of Peter illustrates this so well. I'll never let you
down, Jesus. He's a guy identified by his accomplishment. Don't worry,
God, I got this. Brings a sword to that, Jesus said, I'm going to get arrested.
Well, I'm packing heat then. Conceal carry or not, I'm bringing it, right? And
he shows up in the garden and he tries to defend Jesus. And he ends up
running away. And Jesus rebukes him. Some people think that Jesus's
rebuke stung and that was a part of the shame for Peter of him in the fire of
the high priest, the courtyard of Caiaphas' house denying Jesus three
times. And the shame he would have felt after I let Jesus down. I denied
him three times. The rooster crowed. And he said, I'm going fishing. I'll
never be... he can forgive me, sure. I know he forgave me. But the shame.
So now he's fishing, which is what Jesus called him away from, by the way.
Jesus comes to him in John 21 and he does this amazing miracle where
the fish get multiplied, get huge catch fish. And then he cooks Peter
breakfast and the rest of the disciples. You're not mad at me? You don't
want to berate me? You don't want to tell me I'm out? He says, come eat.
And that's what Jesus says to you today. Come and eat. Come eat with me.
Come hang out with me. Look me in the eyes. And there he says, I have a
question for you. And he's like oh, here comes, right? Why'd you let me
down like that? How could you? Are you ashamed of yourself? And instead
Jesus says, Peter, do you still love me? Do you love me more than these?
Which I think he's speaking to the fish. You love me more than what I called
you away from still? Are you still willing to follow? Do you still want to
follow me? Do you want to be used as a preacher? Peter said, are you
kidding me?
There's no way you could ever want me to be a preacher after I let you
down like that? He says, do you still love me? Are you still interested?
Because if you are, I am. It's as simple as that. If you are, I am. Follow me.
Go feed my sheep. Go take care of, nothing's changed. You think you let me
down? You didn't let me down. I knew this was coming from before I ever
called you. Look me in the eyes, see I'm not mad. I made you breakfast, bro.
Hang out with me and then you got some sermons to do. This changes
nothing. All the things that you think are a barrier to you shining the light of
the Father is why he picked you. He wants to overcome those thorns. He
wants to overcome those weaknesses and to use you.
So when you keep your eyes on him, when you find your light it dispels the
shadow. And then you can illuminate the world with a light that's borrowed.
Because like the moon, we don't have any light all our own. That's why
Jesus said, you're the salt of the world. How many of you love the taste of
salt? Nobody. We love what salt brings out. Salt is like the moon. It's not
about it, it's about what it brings out and what's his worth. So as we keep
our eyes on Jesus, we have that light to shine to the world. And that is why
today is the last day shame has held us back in Jesus' name.
And Father, we thank you. We thank you for the calling to
glow, to shine, to season. To no longer be hidden by shame, but
to walk with you. To eat with you. To receive from you all you
have for us.
If you're listening to this message and you would say I respond to this, I
don't want to let shame hold me back anymore. Could I just ask you to
raise a hand up in the air? Just honesty. I resonate with this. I hear shame's
voice speaking and I'm going to take those thoughts captive. Speaking my
new identity in community with empathy as the Holy Spirit leads me.
Thank you, Father. Bless these. Bless these. Set them free. May
you anoint them with oil. May you cover them. May you be
their shield and exceeding reward. May you pull them under
your wings.
You could put your hands down. And I want to invite now those who have
never made a decision to follow Jesus to do so. Today's your day of a new
beginning. If you never accepted Jesus into your heart or having known
some verses and known some things about God but having wandered,
today is your day to rededicate your life to him. I'm going to pray a prayer.
And I'm going to invite you to make this your faith. To make this your faith
moment. Your salvation as you invite Jesus into your heart. Say this with
us. Church, pray with us:
Jesus, I accept you as my savior. Your blood is the payment for
my sin. Your resurrection, my source of power. I turned for my
sins. I turned to you in faith. Thank you for saving me. Thank
you for new life. I give you mine.
Your sins don’t define you, and shame has no power over you. Learn about how your identity is found in Jesus’ sacrifice, not in your failures.
Main Scripture: Psalms 34:1-10, 15