Teach Me to Love Someone by Meeting Their Needs
- David Ferguson
- Jan 23, 2025
- 2 min read
Dr. David Ferguson, respected author and conference leader, has much to say about loving people. This list should go on your refrigerator!
Acceptance (Romans 15:7): Openly receive your child just as he/she is. Love them unconditionally.
Admonition (Romans 15:14): Give constructive guidance in what to avoid. Warn and instruct about harmful situations or influences.
Affection (Romans 16:16): Communicate care and closeness through physical touch and affirming words.
Appreciation/Praise (1 Corinthians 11:12): Express words and feelings of personal gratefulness for your child and for what they do.
Approval (Romans 14:18): Commend and speak well of your child.
Attention (1 Corinthians 12:25): Enter into your child’s world.
Comfort (1 Thessalonians 4:18): Come alongside your child with words, feeling and touch. Console with tenderness.
Compassion (Hebrews 10:34): Suffer through your child’s hurts and burdens with them. Empathize.
Confession (James 5:16): Admit and/or confess when you are wrong or have hurt your child. Ask for their forgiveness.
Deference (Ephesians 5:21): Yield or postpone your own needs for the benefit of your child.
Devotion (Romans 12:10): Dedicate yourself to your child. Give them committed care.
Discipline (Proverbs 23:13): Correct when boundaries are crossed and limits exceeded.
Edification, Build up (Romans 14:19): Positively promote your child’s growth and development.
Encouragement (Hebrews 10:24): Motivate your child. Positively persuade him/her toward attainable goals.
Forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32): Cancel out and release wrongs committed and give unconditional love.
Harmony (1 Peter 3:8): Create an atmosphere of secure love, unity and peace.
Hospitality (1 Peter 4:9): Receive others with an open, welcoming heart.
Intimacy (1 John 1:7): Be vulnerable. Know your child deeply and let him/her know you. Share your lives together.
Kindness (Ephesians 4:32): Serve tenderly and sensitively.
Love (John 13:34): Lay down your life unselfishly for your child just as Jesus did for you.
Prayer (James 5:16): Daily pray for your child’s spiritual, mental, physical and emotional well being.
Respect (Romans 12:10): Value and regard highly; convey great worth to your child.
Security (Mark 9:50): Assure your child of your protection and care. Keep him/her from danger.
Serve (Galatians 5:13): Gladly and unselfishly meet your child’s needs.
Support (Galatians 6:2): Come alongside your child and help them.
Sympathy (1 Peter 3:8): Identify with your child emotionally when they are hurting.
Teaching (Colossians 3:16): Give your child constructive, positive instruction on how to live.
Tolerance (Ephesians 4:2): Patiently endure the humanness of your child.
Training (Luke 6:40): Prepare your child to face life’s issues.
Understanding: (Romans 12:16) Seek to know your child, to hear what they’re saying and discern why they are responding in a certain way.
Top Ten Intimacy Needs
What Love Looks Like | What Aloneness Looks Like |
Acceptance | Rejection |
Affection | Abuse |
Appreciation | Criticism |
Approval | Condemnation |
Attention | Overlooked |
Encouragement | Discouragement |
Comfort | Hurt |
Respect | Ridicule |
Security | Abandoned |
Support | Neglect |
Stories |