What do we know about the coming kingdom? Randy Alcorn shares his insights: “In Daniel 7:13-14  we’re given a prophetic revelation of four earthly kingdoms, beginning with Nebuchadnezzar’s Babylon, that will one day be forever replaced by a fifth kingdom. As the four pagan kingdoms are on Earth, the contextual implication is that the fifth kingdom—God’s eternal Kingdom—will also be on Earth. Daniel said of the four earthly kingdoms, “In my vision at night I looked, and there before me were the four winds of heaven churning up the great sea. Four great beasts, each different from the others, came up out of the sea” ( Daniel 7:2 ). These nations might appear to rise to power arbitrarily, but their emergence is orchestrated by Heaven, and their ruling authority is granted by God for they are “given authority to rule” (v. 6), and later “their dominion was taken away” (v. 12, ESV). In contrast to the tenuous and temporary rule of the nations, we’re told that the Messiah’s dominion—in context, a kingdom on  Earth —will be “everlasting” and “will not pass away” and “will never be destroyed” (v. 14). Notice the continuity between the ultimate earthly kingdom of the Messiah and the previous earthly kingdoms of Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece, and Rome, from which eventually comes the kingdom of the Antichrist. The kingdom with the everlasting dominion is not a dominion over a  different  realm but over the  same  realm—Earth. In speaking of these kingdoms, God is not comparing apples (Earth) with oranges (a spirit realm), but apples with apples. Christ will not merely destroy the earth where fallen kings once ruled. Rather, He will rule over the same Earth, transformed and new. At Daniel’s request, an angel provides an interpretation of his vision: “The four great beasts are four kingdoms that will rise from the earth” (v. 17). Then the angel makes an extraordinary statement: “But the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever—yes, for ever and ever” (v. 18). This statement makes clear both the kingdom’s location (Earth) and its duration (eternal). Some theologians reduce Daniel 7  to a promise that God’s saints will reign with Christ during the Millennium. But the text couldn’t be clearer—it says “for ever and ever,” not a thousand years. Many other passages also affirm an earthly reign that will last forever (e.g.,  Joshua 14:9 ;  2 Samuel7:16 ;  Isaiah 34:17 ;  60:21 ;  Jeremiah17:25 ;  Micah 4:7 ;  Revelation 22:5 ). The angel Gabriel told Mary that Christ “will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end” ( Luke1:33 ). Regardless of whether one believes in a literal Millennium, passages such as the ones cited here shouldn’t be understood as millennial references. They refer instead to an everlasting Kingdom. But where is that eternal Kingdom located? If the other four kingdoms, spanning centuries, rose “from the earth,” and if the Antichrist will rule on the earth, where will God’s Kingdom be in order to replace those kingdoms?  On the earth . Under God’s covenant with Israel, the people never looked for the Messiah to reign in Heaven. That would be nothing new, because God already reigns in Heaven. Establishing God’s Kingdom was never about an immaterial spirit realm. It always concerned the one place in the universe made for mankind, the one place where God’s reign has been disputed:  Earth . It’s a common but serious mistake to spiritualize the eternal Kingdom of God. Many people imagine that God will replace the earthly kings and their kingdoms with a transcendent sovereignty over the spiritual realm of Heaven. But that is very different than what Daniel is telling us. God has never abandoned His original plan that righteous human beings will inhabit and rule the earth. That’s not merely an argument from silence.  Daniel 7:18  explicitly reveals that “the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever.” What is “the kingdom”? Earth. Earth is unique. It’s the one planet—perhaps among billions—where God chose to act out the unfolding drama of redemption and reveal the wonders of His grace. It’s on the New Earth, the capital planet of the new universe, that He will establish an eternal Kingdom. Daniel 7:21-22  says that an earthly ruler “was waging war against the saints and defeating them,  until  the Ancient of Days came and pronounced judgment in favor of the saints of the Most High, and the time came when they possessed the kingdom” (emphasis added). The same earthly kingdoms ruled by ungodly human beings will ultimately be ruled by godly human beings. Christ’s promise wasn’t figurative—the meek really  will  inherit the earth ( Matthew 5:5 ). And they will rule what they inherit. The Kingdom Transfer Daniel 7:25  tells us that the saints will be handed over to the earth’s kingdoms, which will persecute them for a season. But then a stunning reversal will occur. “Then the sovereignty, power and greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven will be handed over to the saints, the people of the Most High. His kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom, and all rulers will worship and obey him” (v. 27). What is the “greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven” that will be “handed over to the saints”? I believe it includes all that makes the nations great. That would include, among other things, their cultural, artistic, athletic, scientific, and intellectual achievements. All of these will not be lost or destroyed but “handed over to the saints” as they rule God’s eternal Kingdom on the New Earth. We will become the stewards, the managers of the world’s wealth and accomplishments. Consider the marvels of this revelation. God’s children who suffered under ungodly earthly kings  will forever take their place as earthly kings.  The great cultural accomplishments of ungodly nations will be handed over to God’s people to manage and (I assume) develop and expand. The very Earth to which Satan once laid claim will be stripped from his grasp and given over to those whom he hates and seeks to destroy—God’s saints. Notice it doesn’t say that the earth’s kingdoms will be destroyed, but that they will be “handed over” to the saints, placed under their just rule. All the wrongs done on Earth by tyrants will be a thing of the past. No more persecution and injustice. The Earth that was first put under mankind’s dominion and was twisted by the Fall will be redeemed, restored, and put under the righteous rule of a redeemed and restored mankind. If the Bible made no other reference to believers ruling over an earthly kingdom, the emphatic message of Daniel 7  would suffice:  The saints of God will rule the earth forever. Many people believe that if God rules the universe, there’s no room for other rulers. But this can’t be true, because we’re told that “all rulers will worship and obey him” (v. 27). Isaiah 60  and  Revelation 21:24  tell us there will still be nations on the New Earth, and they will still have rulers. But they will be  righteous  rulers, subordinate to Christ. People of every national and ethnic group (“tribe and language and people and nation”) will worship the Lamb ( Revelation 5:9 ). Some will rule over cities; others will rule over nations. Christ will be King of all, but He will be “King of kings” ( Revelation 19:16 ), meaning that His people will rule the new earth under Him.” www.epm.org .

SERIES: Fact-Check MESSAGE: Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle Skip Heitzig SPEAKER: SCRIPTURE: Hebrews 11:7 TRANSCRIPTION Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 - Skip Heitzig Great to be with you. I'm joined here with some of my friends, Matt and Antonio, Antonio, and Tamara, and Tom. And you know, this is fun. Because there's five of us up here. And it reminds me, I go back. It's sort of like where you're going all the way back to the Lakes Apartments, when we started our Bible study back in the early days. We had just moved here. And I believe the first night, we had two or three people, I think three people. It was myself, my wife, and a friend. And then the next week, we had about this many people. I know are being joined online with many, many more people. And I'm glad for that. But it's sort of fun to get back to basics, and to do just a few of us to all of you. So we want to welcome you. This past weekend was very encouraging. We had our Mother's Day services out in the parking lot Saturday night, and two Sunday morning. You know, it's just great to actually see people you hadn't seen in a long time, even if it was through their window, or they rolled the window down and waved. But there's just this palpable sense of we want to get back together. And I can't reiterate that. I had a conversation in the last couple days with the governor's office, stating that over and over and over again. We have a lot of people who want to get back together. Yes, we want to do it safely. But yes, we want to do it. And in my mind, I don't know what they're going to say. But they're going to be opening this up slowly. But I'm hoping that by the end of this month, we're going to be able to meet again, even if it means meeting outside. Maybe it's just too much drama to meet inside the building right now. But we want to definitely get together in some capacity. And there's encouragement when we practice the one others in the Bible. You can't practice the one anothers unless you're with one another. So we need to do that in some capacity. We are in our Bible study, though, in the book of Hebrews, Chapter 11. So if you're at home or on the platform, turn in your Bibles to Hebrews Chapter 11. We're doing a study called Fact Check. And I love the whole idea of fact check. Because it's something that is a recent phenomenon. You can't say things today and get away with it, unless it's true. And you've got enough people out there with a phone who can Google you right away, to make sure you're not lying. And so you fact check. And in our life of faith with the Lord, it's essential that we stop, with all the messaging the world is giving us, to see if that's accurate or not-- usually, it's not-- and to fact check that with truth that we find in the word of God. Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 1 Well we come to a story tonight found in one verse of Hebrews 11, in the 7th verse. As I was reading this week, my mind went back to the scene in a movie called Jaws. You guys see that movie? You know, I refused to see that movie when it first came out, because of where I lived? I lived four blocks from the ocean. I wouldn't see it. Because I knew that people wouldn't go in the water. A lot of my friends wouldn't do it. So I just refused to see the movie. But there's, when I did see it, there's one thing in the movie, when Brody-- I think Brody is like the chief of police. He's on the boat, and he sees that big shark, that big monster, come by. And he says to the captain, you're going to need a bigger boat. And usually, that's come to become a catch phrase for, something goes wrong. You're going to need a bigger boat. But in the case of Noah, whatever he thought were the instructions from the Lord to save he and his family, it was more than that. He was going to save the inhabited world, all the animals included. He was going to need a bigger boat. You have to admit it, it takes enormous faith to build a boat, to build a box the size of an aircraft carrier, inland in Iraq, where there is no body of water for anything that size. Noah through the building of this ark preached the coming judgment of God upon the Earth. Most people in that day and age, though, believe the fake news. The fake news is, you can live any way you want to live. Doesn't matter. As long as everybody's doing it, just go with the flow. Noah was one of just a very small people, a minority report, who said that's fake news. Fact check, we have to walk with God. Fact check, we have to be pleasing in God sight. Fact check, we have to go his way. So that's sort of it, summed up in a nutshell. Tonight, we're going to look at that, fact checking your lifestyle. Your lifestyle, how, the manner of living. You can't, you and I can't live any way we want to live. Doesn't matter if everybody's doing it. Most people are willing to blend into the background of culture and not stick out. It's easier to do that, go with the flow. But you know what? Any dead fish can float downstream. It takes real faith and stamina and guts to say that's wrong. I'm going to go a different way. Here's the biblical mandate. We know it all so well, from the book of Romans. Do not be conformed to this world. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. I believe Noah really encapsulates that in his lifestyle. There was a French philosopher who said, those who walk on the well trodden path always throw stones at those who are walking a new road. The road that Noah walked was the road of obedience. And that's because he had insight into the future. He had foresight and insight, because of a revelation that God gave him, of something that was coming down the pike, that would wipe out the whole world. I was reading an article about eagles, not that I read articles about eagles necessarily, a lot. But this one article said that eagles have the ability to see so well because they have eight times the amount of visual cells per cubic centimeter, eight times, than a human being. So what that translates into-- an eagle, at 600 feet, can spot an object the size of a dime in six inches of grass. Because of that construction of the eye, an eagle can spot a three inch long fish jumping in a lake five miles away. Don't you wish you could see that well? You know, the older I get, I always remember the days when I could see better than I do. But I could never see that good. None of us could. But an eagle can. Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 2 Now faith gives you a certain amount of foresight, A. Certain amount of insight, an ability to see what people can't see. So we look at that in verse 7. By faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith. So far, we've looked at a couple other examples in the book of Hebrews Chapter 11. We've looked at Abel. We've looked at Enoch. And now we look at Noah. He is the third example in this list. Abel is the example of worshipping faith. Enoch is the example of walking by faith. And now Noah is the example of working faith, or faith that works. James said, faith without works is dead. So whatever you believe should be translated into your behavior. Belief will correspond to behavior, if it's genuine faith. Now we're looking at verse 7. And I just want you to think about this, as we're delving into it and unpacking this verse. We're looking at one verse, one verse, to sum up the entire story of Noah. So think of it. The author of Hebrews is summing up, in a single verse, Genesis Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, and Chapter 9 by this one verse. 41 words, he tells the entire story of Noah, all those four chapters. Now, because he does that, there is an assumption that is made. He is assuming that the audience to whom he is writing has a working knowledge of the story. Because he's summing it up. He wouldn't just tell a story of some obscure name and no reference at all. He's assuming that they already know the story. And that's because he's writing to the Hebrews. So because they're Hebrews, this is their history. They all knew the story of all the people he mentions. The list here in Hebrews 11 would be considered a cryptic list. It's not an exhaustive, detailed list. It's just, we'll talk about Abel in a couple verses, and then Enoch in a couple verses, and then one verse of Noah, assuming that the audience knows all these stories. And of course, they did. They were Jewish people who knew their history. And he's working off of that. Noah is the man who put feet to his faith. He walked in faith. His faith produced action. Now faith is the only way to reach God. Not religion, not ceremony, not ritual, not effort. But there was a Judaism that had been sort of accepted by the time that the author writes this in the New Testament, that it was a corrupted, perverted form of Judaism. And that perverted form of Judaism had come to believe that you to be pleasing to God by your own effort, by your own works, by your own rituals, by circumcision, by ceremony, et cetera. What point the author is making is that God never allowed that. God always and only accepted people by faith, not just in the New Testament, but Old Testament as well. It was always salvation by grace through faith. And he quotes, back in Chapter 1 the book of Habakkuk, or Habakkuk, depending on what part of the country you're from, Chapter 2 Verse 4, the just shall live by faith. Or my righteous one shall live by faith, back in Chapter 10 Verse 38. So that's an Old Testament thing. And so he's saying, this idea of faith isn't new, although a lot of them were thinking, boy, this just trusting in Jesus for my salvation, this is new doctrine. He's saying no, no, no. It's all the way back to Abel and Enoch and Noah. That's the example he is using to show them, and to undergird the idea, that salvation by faith was always God's plan. Now this perversion of coming to God by works is something Paul said was part of his own personal experience. He gives his testimony in the book of Philippians. And he says, I was circumcised on the eighth Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 3 day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin. I was a Hebrew of the Hebrews. As touching the law a Pharisees. Concerning righteousness which comes from the law, I was blameless or perfect. But then I made a discovery. All these things that I thought were gain were actually rubbish. And I pushed them aside, that I might gain Christ, and be found in him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but the righteousness which comes by faith in Jesus Christ. That's Paul's experience. He is saying, what the writer of Hebrews is saying-- they may be one and the same. They may be different. I talked about that a few weeks ago. But he's saying that God always and ever and only allowed people to approach him not by works, not by religion, not by ceremony, not by circumcision, but only by faith. So he's giving these examples. That's part of the fact check. So we're given one verse to sum up four chapters. So what we need to do is go back to Chapter 6 of the book of Genesis to kind of fill in the details, so that we really understand. I'm going to read Verse 7 again. Then we're going to go back. By faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir to the righteousness which is according to faith. Now go back to Genesis 6. And let's sort of dig into the story, and get the details. And I'll kind of give you a working outline. First of all, Noah witnessed a deterioration. His culture, you're going to see, is very similar to our culture. And why am I bringing this up? Because Jesus made a promise. As it was in the days of Noah, shall it be at the coming of the Son of Man. He was referring to his second coming. So he's saying, here's the tip off. When the world gets as bad as it was in the days of Noah, before God judged the world, that's how it's going to be in the very end. So the days of Noah, the coming of the Son of Man. Noah experienced and witnessed a deterioration. Noah lived at one of the worst times in human history. Let me rephrase that and say probably the worst time in human history, except for the time of the end. Because God destroyed the entire population base of planet Earth. It was that bad. So back in Genesis Chapter 6 Verse 1. It came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the Earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful, and took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. And the Lord said, my spirit shall not strive with man forever. For he is indeed flesh. Yet his day shall be 120 years. There were giants on the Earth in those days, and also afterword, when the sons of God came into the daughters of men. And they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown. Then the Lord saw that the wicked man was great in the Earth, and that every intent of the thought of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the Earth, and he was grieved in his heart. So the Lord said, I will utterly destroy a man whom I have created from the face of the Earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air. For I am sorry that I have made them. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. The chapter begins by talking about an increase in population. It says men began to multiply on the face of the Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 4 Earth. Now without going into too much detail, let me just assume that you have a working knowledge of some of the earlier chapters of Genesis. So you know that people at that time were living enormous lifespans. 800 years old, 700 years old, 600, 900. Methuselah, 969. You can have a lot of kids if you live that long. There can be a lot of multiplication if the lifespan is that high. And it was during that time. And I've written a book on Genesis that explains how that worked, and how it is possible, and filled in all those details. So there was a massive increase in population. There's a great book called The Genesis flood by Dr. John Whitcomb and Henry Morris. And these are two scientists who apply their science to the text of Genesis. They took the geological tables found in the book of Genesis, and calculated the longevity and average number of kids per family, probably. And they came up with a figure that at the end of 18 generations, there would be 774 million people. At the end of 18 generations, 774 million people, and that a conservative estimate of the Earth's population at the time of the flood, or by the time of the flood, could easily have been 1 billion people. 1 billion people, and could have even far exceeded that. Now just think about that for a moment. Because at the time of Jesus Christ, millennia later, the Earth's population, we figure, is about 250 million. So it had gone down from a billion. That's because God destroyed everybody. It took till the time of Christ to get 250 million people. It took till 1804 to get 1 billion people again back. So if there were a billion people at the time of the flood-- I don't know. But if there were, it took to the year 1804 to have that happen again. Now today, there are 7.8 billion people on this dirt clod in the sky called the Earth. It's estimated that by 2150, there will be far more than 11 people. We are multiplying on the face of the Earth. Now I'm bringing this up because this makes Noah's walk with God all that more noteworthy. If there were a billion people, there were only eight out of all the people on Earth who walked with God. And really, I think they got in because they were related to Noah. Noah walked with God. He found favor in God. So talk about a minority report. Everybody is going one direction. Noah said, not going to do it. So there was an increase in population. Second thing to note here on our text is there was an increase in sexual depravity. It says, in the next couple of verses, the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful, and took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. Now this is actually one of the most asked questions I've ever gotten by people. Who are the sons of God? Who are the daughters of men? And who are these giants, the Hebrew word nephilim? Who are they? Well there's a few different views. View number one, they're fallen angels who married human women. Fallen angels, demonic angels, who married human women. That's the interpretation. Because in the Old Testament, the term signs of God is usually most always a reference to angels. In fact, probably without exception. In the book of Job, the sons of God appeared before the Lord. And Satan was among them, and had to give an account of God in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. Also, in second Peter Chapter 2 and in the book of Jude, Verses 6 and 7, it identifies angels with this incident in committing some grave sin. So that's one interpretation. Now the response to that interpretation-- and I don't want to get bogged down in the weeds here. But that response to that is, angels don't reproduce. Jesus said in the Resurrection, people will neither Mary nor be given in marriage, but will be like the angels. So because angels are non-corporeal beings-- you like that term, non-corporeal? Means they don't have a Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 5 body, because they're spirit beings. Non-corporeal beings don't mate with corporeal beings and have offspring. So that's one thought. The other problem with that is that the idea of nephilim, these giants, they appear. The same word is used of the giants in the land of Canaan, when the 12 spies go out to look at the land of Canaan and bring back a report, they saw giants in the land, nephilim in a numbers Chapter 13 and Chapter 14. And so if they were destroyed by the flood, what are they doing, the Giants doing here at that time? So that's one idea. They were demonic beings, fallen angels, marrying human woman. Interpretation number two, these are our godly descendents of Seth, marrying ungodly women from the lineage of Cain. So godly Sethites marrying ungodly Cainites. Now the response to that, against that interpretation is that sons of God in the Old Testament. This, that would be, then, an exception to the term sons of God in the Old Testament, which is used almost exclusively to refer to angelic beings. So you see the problem we have? There's is a third interpretation. These are rulers who married women-- dynastic rulers, human rulers, who married women. They may have been controlled by demons, controlled by fallen angels. But they are just simply human rulers, who marry women. Because in ancient literature, the term sons of God is often given to rulers of kingdoms. So the idea, then, in this interpretation is these are simply kings wanting to build up their harems. And so that the sons of God went to the daughters of men. The problem is, the term nephilim. These are big people. They are called giants. But it also says they are men of renown. And so this interpretation favors, they're just simply talking about powerful, giant-like in their stature militarily, powerful military leaders. So I've given you three interpretations. I haven't told you which one I believe. I'm just going to let that-- you can argue among yourselves. I do lean to an interpretation. I won't tell you what it is. And here's why. I want to get to the meat of this without distracting from it. Whatever it was, it was bad. Whatever it was, it was immoral. Whatever it was, it was sexual. Whatever it was, a was against God's original design. Simply put, at the time of Noah, there was a breakdown of the traditional family, replaced by a wholesale sexual freedom. Now does that sound familiar? Does that sound contemporary? One of the chief sociologist at Harvard University said our society is absolutely preoccupied with sex. Imagine walking with God in that culture. People are proliferating on the face of the Earth. People are doing their own thing, with their own sexual expression. And whatever it was, this is the result. But Noah did, and he did it successfully. So there is an increase in population. There's an increase in sexual depravity. Third, there was an increase in wickedness. Verse 5, the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the Earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. See how the language is put? This seems to be chronic, not episode. This is something that just is always prevalent, and always increasing. And the Holy Spirit, in Verse 5, is letting us see what was going on in the minds of people living at the time of Noah-- their thinking, their thoughts, their motivations. The Hebrew word for wickedness is the Hebrew word Ra. And it is often translated wickedness or evil. So the idea is, their badness was really, really bad. So they were going from bad to worse. Continually, constantly, without break, going from bad to worse. One translation, the Berkeley version, says human wickedness was growing out of bounds on the Earth. Now, fast forward to the book of Romans, when Paul talks about the judgment of God. And he was referring, Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 6 I believe, to this time, when he talked about the depravity of culture. He said they became feudal in their thoughts. And their foolish heart was darkened. They did not wish to retain God in their knowledge. God gave them over to a debased mind, or a reprobate mind. Where they're down a path. There's no turning back. They have thrown the dice. There is no redeeming them. There's no listening to God, as you'll see. And so God had to judge them. They had reached that point, where God judges. And then the fourth thing to notice about what he was witnessing is, there was an increase in violence, an increase in violence. In Chapter 6, in Verse 9, it says, this is the genealogy of Noah. Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God, and Noah begot three sons-- Shem, Ham, and Japeth. The Earth was also corrupt before God, and the Earth was filled with violence. Filled. Imagine, a billion people, conservatively, filled with violence. It had reached the brim. It had reached the breaking point. God now must act. The Earth was filled with violence so God looked upon the Earth and indeed it was corrupt for all flesh had corrupted their way on the Earth Violence that began with Cain now an epidemic. Cain killed Abel. Chapter 5, Lamech killed a young man, using Cain as an example. Now, murder has become an epidemic. You see, once people turn from God, they turn on one another. Because they have no allegiance vertically. So fair game horizontally. Once you turn from God, you turn on one another. I'll make a quick comparison to our own culture. Violence has been on the rise in our world, certainly in our country, in the past two decades. Now, it was anticipated at the beginning of the coronavirus, that maybe violence would go down because of the coronavirus. Because people are social distancing. Last time I checked, criminals don't really care about the laws of social distancing. So they're sort of doing what they want. And they've discovered that violent crime has actually increased. One doctor said, I used to treat one to two gunshot wounds per week. I now treat five to six gunshot wounds per night. So like the days of Noah, all of these things were proliferating. Verse 6, though, of Chapter 6 of Genesis-- the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the Earth. And he was grieved in his heart. Now let me just quickly explain that is an anthropomorphic statement. It's an anthropomorphism. It's God expressing himself so humans can understand it. God never does things differently, or go oh, shucks. I shouldn't have done it that way. I'm really sorry. Let me take a different tact. God does not repent. He is not a man, that he should repent. This is simply a human way of stating it, so we get the emotion That. God was grieved by what he saw and the choices that man had made. So the Lord said, Verse 7, I will destroy man, whom I have created, from the face of the Earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. And then he gives a brief genealogy of Noah in the next verse. So except for Noah, there were no God seekers on the Earth. They went from bad, Cain, to worse, where God as destroy everybody. It says Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. This is the very first time in scripture the word grace appears. And it appears with Noah. God is going to show grace by lifting him off the Earth in a box. And he's going to save Noah in that box, and his family. And by saving Noah, he's going to save the world. By the way, the only other from the time the word ark is used-- the word in Hebrew for ark is literally box, because it was a rudderless ship. So it really wasn't like a ship like we know it. It was a big box. And when Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 7 Moses' mother, Jochebed made a little basket or ark for Noah and put him down the Nile River. So like that, God used an ark to save Noah, to save Moses. And then God to use Moses to save the children of Israel. Like that, God saved Noah, so that God could use Noah to save the Earth and restart the population. An ark. A box. So he found grace in the eyes of the Lord. The Living Bible says, but Noah was a pleasure to the Lord. Think of your life being a pleasure to the Lord. God looks at you and goes, oh! You are, you know. You are a treasure to him. You are so valuable to God that he wouldn't spare his only son. But he gave them up for us all. That's how much God treasures you. I hope that you are not only a treasure to God. I hope you live a life, that you become a pleasure to God. Like Noah, where he look at you and goes oh, I'm so pleased. A diamond in the rough. A diamond in a black coal dust of disobedience of the human race. Here's what it shows us. One single person can stand alone, and one person can make a difference. One of my favorite stories about the Roman Colosseum is from around the year 400 AD. The Roman Coliseum had been packed for decades-- for, actually, a couple of centuries, where people would be watching humans fighting beasts, humans fighting humans, killing humans, killing beasts, beasts killing humans, all for entertainment value in the Roman Coliseum. One day, a Syrian monk came to the Colosseum, saw what was going on, jumped his seat, ran down the aisle, jumped out onto the floor of the Colosseum, and waved his arms, they little Christian monk from Syria, waved his arms, and said, in the name of Christ, forebear! In the name of Christ, forebear! In other words, stop this senseless violence. An order was given from the legions of Rome to thrust him through with a sword and kill him. They killed him on the floor of the Colosseum. His blood drained into the sand. But something happened. The games went on that day. But as the months went by, because of that one man and that one incident, it's so jarred the population of Rome that the games at the Coliseum dwindled in numbers of people who went. They didn't become as popular. And eventually, after several months, they were stopped altogether, because of one man, saying in the name of Christ, forebear. One person can make a difference. So the fake news is one person's actions don't matter. Who cares if I live this way? Everybody's living that way. It matters. The real news, the faith check is, one person's life matters. It can spur on a whole example for people who are watching. And it can change a culture, like it did with Telemachus, the Syrian monk. So Noah witnessed a deterioration. Let me take you to a second thought. Noah walked in submission. Back to our text in Hebrews 11, it's best if you just have a place setting it both at this point. In verse 17, he said, by faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark. When Noah received a Warning from God that judgment was coming, all Noah had was God's word. All Noah had was God's promise. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to destroy the Earth. At first, got didn't even tell him how. He just said, I'm going to do it. Because if he would have said it's going to rain, Noah would have said what's rain? It hadn't rained yet. I'll explain that a moment. He just said I'm going to destroy the Earth. And so build an ark. And then he went on to explain how he was going to do it. So all he had was God's word. The question is, would he obey it? What would you do with that word? Well it says by faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved-- that's his motivation, with godly fear-- prepared an ark for the saving of his household. God told him to do something, because something was going to happen that had never, ever happened in the history of the world. Our world was Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 8 going to be destroyed. Verse 7, the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the Earth, both man and beast, creeping thing, birds of the air, for I am sorry that I made them. Down in Verse 13, God said to Noah, the end of all flesh has come before me. For the Earth is filled with violence through them. And behold, I will destroy them with the Earth. Verse 17, and behold, I myself am bringing flood waters on the Earth to destroy from under heaven all flesh which is in the breath of life. Everything that is on the Earth shall die. Verse 22, thus Noah did, thus Noah did according to all that God commanded him. So he did. God said, I'm going to bring flood waters on the Earth. Noah, it's going to rain. Now it had never rained before, I mentioned. Up till this point, the Bible tells us the Earth was, there were no polar caps. There were no extreme temperatures. There was a mild universal temperature on the surface of the Earth. The Bible says the Earth was watered with a mist that came out of the ground. So there was this temperate temperature around the globe. And so that's how it was watered. It had never had the cataclysm of rain before. And so this was new. This was all brand new. And what God says is, I'm going to bring water down from heaven. And he brought it from the Earth in heaven. And I'm going to drown every single person on planet Earth, except eight who are in this little box. This, then, is the most remarkable event of judgment ever, up to this point, certainly in the Old Testament. God is enacting his right of capital punishment on the creation that he made. Now the flood was the second major catastrophic event in history, or second greatest cataclysmic event in history, the first being creation. So creation gave us the first Earth. We don't know that, because we're post flood. The flood gave us the Earth as it is today. So those two events, creation and the flood, inform us as to the Earth in its in its in its present. place. And that's the world that we know and experience, the post-diluvian world, after the flood. Now back in Genesis Chapter 6, in Verse 14, God says make for yourself an ark. In Hebrews 11, he says, he prepared an ark. Back in Verse 22 of Chapter 6, last verse, thus Noah did according to all that God commanded. him. So he did. Now please, please grasp. This is a demonstrate, an incredible demonstration of faith. Cutting down the first tree was a demonstration of faith. Think of all the trees to make this huge ark. Now it says he was moved with godly fear back in Hebrews Chapter 11 Verse 7 he. Was moved with godly fear. What that means is, he had reverence for God. That's the fear of God. A holy reverence for a loving God, a holy reverence about humble submission to a loving God. He was moved with godly fear. In other words, God's revelation was enough to prompt his demonstration. God's revelation of the future was enough to prompt Noah's demonstration of faith. God said it. He did it. He honored God's word. God did not have to give him a second warning. He didn't have to give him a sign from heaven. I think God speaking to you is like a sign in and of itself. So God gave him information. He's going to destroy. He said he's going to destroy by water. So he did everything God told him to do. Didn't have to reinforce it. Didn't have to give him a sign. There was a time when the IRS sent a man a letter. And the envelope said, second notice on. the front of the envelope. Second notice, IRS. Opened it up. It says, you owe back tax. If you don't pay by this time, you know, we're going to come and get you. Well he went to the IRS office. And he said, man, you know, I didn't even Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 9 know I had to pay this, I never remember seeing the first notice. Otherwise, I would've paid it. And the IRS said, well, we ran out of first notices. And besides that, we've discovered that second notices are far more effective than first notices. Well God didn't have to give him a second notice. God just said, I'm going to destroy the Earth and. He prepared an ark. and God gives him, in this chapter, blueprints for the ark. Its dimensions are given. That's important, because Noah didn't know how to make ark that size, a boat that size, a box that size. He didn't know marine architecture. He had no expertise in displacement of water. The ark was 450 feet long. So that's 1 and 1/2 football fields long. It was 75 feet wide. That's seven parking spaces wide, roughly. And it was 45 feet high, which is between three and four stories high. It was the biggest vessel ever built until the 19th century. Now there have been far bigger built since then. But it was the biggest vessel ever built till the 19th century. Just the sheer magnitude of this project must have been overwhelming. It took Noah, the Bible says, 120 years to build it. It had three decks, 15 feet high, with rooms, and over 100,000 square feet of deck space, 1.4 million cubic feet of storage space, the equivalent of 522 dander railroad boxcars, capable of holding 125,000 sheep. Now sheep were used as the animal, because it's sort of a medium sized animal. There's so much smaller and so much larger. But 125,000 animals plus Noah and his family, could safely, easily be aboard the ship and float, this box. So he witnessed a deterioration. He walked in submission. Third, he warned of devastation. I want you to go back to Hebrews 11 Verse 7. And I want you to notice the way the author writes this. By faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household. Here it is. By which he condemned the world, by which he condemned the world. How did he do that? By what means did Noah condemn the world? By two means. First of all, just by building the boat. Just by building the ark. As I said, it was a demonstration of faith to cut down the first tree. So he cuts down a tree. That's a lot of work, just to cut down one tree. Because he's cutting down a tree. And his neighbor goes, what are you doing? I'm building a boat. A what? A boat. A pretty big boat. Why? So just building that thing for 120 years showed his faith in God's promise. And just building that was a testimony to the people of his generation. And in Genesis 6:9, again, it says, Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. And Noah walked with God. Just his lifestyle, just his obedience to God. And in Verse 18 of Chapter 6 God, says, I'm going to establish my covenant with you. Noah's righteous life-- cutting down those trees, putting nails, or putting wood pieces together, putting pitch on it to glue it together and hold it together, all of that, as an act of obedience, rebuked their lifestyles. His righteous lifestyle was a rebuke to their wicked lifestyle. Black looks always blacker when you put something white next to it. The young men of Athens, one of them said to Socrates, I never like being with you. Because whenever I am with you, you show who I am. You know, it's hard to be next to somebody who's perfect. Noah was not perfect. I mean he's sinned. I'll mention that in just a moment. But he wasn't perfect. But he did walk with God. And compared to the generation in which he lived, he was blameless. So he obeyed God's word. He's working on a 15,000 ton ship in the middle of the desert, because God said Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 10 do it. And just by building that boat and living a righteous lifestyle, I believe God said this, I'm going to do it, was a rebuke to them. So just building the boat, number one. Number two, by preaching. What do you mean by preaching? Well, 2 Peter Chapter 2 Verse 5 says, God did not spare the ancient world, but saved Noah, one of eight people, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood on the world of the ungodly. So people must have asked Noah, what are you doing? I'm building an ark. Why? Because God said so. Who's God? The God who created heaven and Earth, the God of Adam and his wife, and the God of Seth, and the God of Abel, and the God of Enoch. You know that Noah would have been the subject of conversation by everybody, certainly around that area of the world. They were talking about him. It was 120 year building project. And you know that they heard Noah preach. And they saw the ark going up. And they probably laughed and scoffed at him. But imagine the look on their faces the first time a raindrop fell. It never happened before. They'd never seen rain. All of a sudden, what's that? And then another, and then another, and then another. And then so much water. And don't you know, when that ark started just lifting up a little bit off the Earth, the panic that set in. All of the lifestyle in building the boat, all of the preaching of the coming judgment, now being brought to bear. Back to that minority report thing. It is possible for the entire world at large to be wrong. The majority is not right. In fact, the majority is seldom right. Third to the last verse in the book of 1 John, Chapter 5, it says, we know that we're of God, little children. Listen to this part. And the whole world lies in the sway of the wicked one. The whole world lies in the sway of the wicked one. Now think of Noah and his generation. Eight people-- really one, who was walking with God-- brought his family in with him, against the whole world that God destroyed. The whole world lies in the sway of the wicked one. So by building a boat and by preaching, he became this testimony of warning of devastation. Now remember, the preaching started before Noah. The preaching started with Enoch, who had a son named Methuselah, whose name means when he is dead, it shall be sent. It was, his name was a prophecy of the coming flood. Because the year Methuselah died, after his 969th year, the year he died is the exact year, if you do the chronology, the timetable, that the flood came. When he is dead, it shall be sent. So that's when the preaching began. And then it really continued in the building and the preaching of Noah. So he witnessed a deterioration. He walked in submission. He warned of devastation. I'll give you a quick fourth point here. He won a reputation. Now all that's in one verse. Back in Verse 7, by faith, Noah, being divinely warned of things not seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became the heir of the righteousness which is according to faith. Now that's really the thrust of what this author is all about in this chapter, giving examples of people who are heirs of the righteousness of faith. Back to Noah. Back to Genesis Chapter 6 Verse 8. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. Chapter 7 of Genesis, Verse 1, God said, come the ark, you and all your household, because I have found you righteous before me in this generation. The world found Noah ridiculous. God found Noah righteous. You're a nut? You're saved. Come aboard the ark. Why was he righteous? Because he received grace. Why was he righteous? Simply because he believed. He believed that God was going to judge the world before God judged the world. He believed rain would Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 11 destroy the world before rain ever happened. He built a boat to prove his faith. Faith without works is dead. He wasn't saved by building the ark. He was saved by faith. He was heir air of the righteousness of faith. But that faith produced works-- an obedient lifestyle. Was Noah perfect? Heck no. Time you get to Chapter 9, you see that he wasn't perfect. He sinned. He was caught naked and drunk. So he didn't end up all that well. I don't know if that was PTSD, or maybe it's PTFD-- post-traumatic flood syndrome. He had it. But obviously, he wasn't perfect. But he was. Righteous because like all the others, it was a declared righteousness, not an earned righteousness. I want to close on this note. God destroyed the Earth in a flood. There's evidence of that. Us where there are woolly mammoths up at the North and South pole, mastodons with tropical vegetation found frozen in their bellies. How did they get there? There's only one explanation for that, and for the different strata that we find around the Earth, seashells on mountaintops, and a number of things that I've gone into detail about before. God destroyed the entire Earth with water. God is going to do it again. Judgment is coming to the Earth, where God will destroy the creation he made. He will trash planet Earth. I know the environmentalists are all afraid that we're doing that. God will do it. And then God will destroy the Earth by fire. It says in 2 Peter, he'll destroy it all by fire. So there is coming to the Earth another cataclysm, a Holocaust of destruction. And there's only one ark that will save you from that. And that is the ark, that is the enclosure, that is the box of faith, believing in the one who took the punishment for your sin and my sin upon himself, and will freely give you grace, and find you righteous, if you place your faith in him. Same deal he gave to Noah. Same deal. Salvation by grace through faith is as old as Abel and Enoch and Noah. And it's been best expressed in Jesus Christ, freely giving us salvation, as we just trust that what he did for us is enough for all of us to escape the future judgment and be with him in heaven. If you think that going with the crowd is your best bet, you need to fact check that thinking. You are dead wrong. Any dead fish can float downstream. If you find yourself floating with the crowd, you need to stop and give your life to Christ. I'm encouraging you to be counter cultural. Be a rebel. Do what hardly anyone is doing, and that is, have a genuine, authentic, from your heart commitment to Jesus Christ. Turn in repentance to him. I'm telling you what Noah taught the Earth for 120 years. And nobody listened. He didn't have one convert. He only had his family. Nobody turned. Will you turn? Will you give your life to Jesus Christ, and let him take the punishment that we do deserve, because of what we have done? I hope you will. I hope you'll say yes to it. If you want to do that, and I encourage you to do it right now, I want to lead you in a prayer. You know, there's just a few of us up here. And I know that there's thousands of people who are watching this. And it could be that God has been getting your attention lately. And maybe he's gotten a hold of your heart through this message or through a number of circumstances that have led up to this moment. And now you have to take a final step. It's a step of faith. It's where you cooperate with his work on your behalf. You say yes to him. It's that simple. You just say, I want that. Yes, Lord. I believe. It's that simple. It's just a connection with God by agreeing that Jesus is enough for your sin. You're going to let him take it on your behalf. You're going to commit your life to Him. If you want to do that, I want you just to pray with me, right where you're at. Just talk to God, so simply. Say something like this to him. And I'm going to encourage you to say it out loud. If you're in your car, say it out Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 12 loud. If you're watching on your phone, say this out loud, just so it's unmistakable. Say Lord, I'm a sinner. I admit it. Forgive me. I believe in Jesus. I believe he died on a cross for me. I believe he rose from the dead for me. I turn from my sin. I turn in faith to Jesus as Savior and as Lord. I want to follow you. I want to work with you. I want to be a pleasure to you. Change me. Bring life change to me. I can't do it. I've tried. I give you me. Save me. In Jesus' name, Amen. Well, I hope you said that to God. I hope you prayed that. And if you did, I want to ask you to take another step. You made this step of faith. I want you now to make a step of technology, and text the words saved, s-a v-e-d to this number, 505-509-5433. That's area code 505-509-5433. Just text the word saved. Or visit the website CalvaryNM.church dot and click where it says Know God. We're going to give you further instructions. And let me just say, congratulations. Welcome to God's family. Noah was imperfect. I'm imperfect. Last time I checked, everybody that I see up here on this platform is imperfect. Am I? I mean, you guys are pretty awesome. You're a drummer, so you're imperfect, and we know that. But sorry, I couldn't resist, Tom. We love you. We're all sinners, and we need God's grace. And we want to walk with you through the next several weeks and months and years of your life, God willing. Because we're all going in the same direction, by God's grace. God bless you. Fact-Checking Your Lifestyle - Hebrews 11:7 | SkipHeitzig.com/4546 Page | 13 Noah’s legendary faith allowed him to look to the future as he refused to be “conformed to this world” in the present (see Romans 12:2 ). It takes enormous faith to build a boat hundreds of miles inland. Through his simple obedience to God’s call to build the ark, Noah preached the news of a coming judgment. In this teaching, Pastor Skip challenges the notion that we can maintain a certain lifestyle as long as everyone else is doing it and calls us to go against the flow of popular culture.

Shame. Shame is the fear of being unworthy, and it adversely affects our relationship with God, others, and ourselves. Shame makes us feel small, unwanted, and unloved. And if we don’t learn how to identify and overcome it, shame will ruin our lives and keep us from fulfilling our destiny. Shame was my companion from my earliest memories, a huge part of my life and identity. My classmates teased me for my Greek heritage, I felt cultural pressures at home to abandon my passions for sports and academics for those of traditional gender roles, and as a victim of sexual abuse, I was ashamed of the horrible things that happened to me. No matter the source, shame is a powerfully painful emotion that shackles us in the prison of our pasts, and if we aren’t careful, we will stay there—missing out on the beautiful lives created for us. That is why it is so important for us to identify and deal with areas of shame in our life. Here are five often-hidden consequences of shame that keep us from the life of freedom we were created for: 1. Shame whispers lies to our soul. Shame lies—big time. Even today, every now and then, unless I am vigilant, shame still tries to sneak up on me at unexpected times. Others will find out you are weak, then you will lose their respect and damage your ministry. Don’t be vulnerable! Only project strength. In order for us not to believe the lies of shame, we must be rooted deeply in the truths of our self-worth and God’s love for us. When we hear the lies, rather than believe them, we must claim God’s truth and love for ourselves, robbing shame of the power it once held in our lives. 2. Shame hinders our ability to receive God’s unconditional love. The biggest lie that shame loves to tell is that we are unworthy. Unworthy of love. Unworthy of affection. Unworthy of inclusion. Unworthy of happiness. When we hear and believe these things day in and day out, it makes it nearly impossible to comprehend that there’s a love without conditions—a love that accepts us just the way we are. But the moment you start to move toward God’s unconditional love, your healing from shame will begin. 3. Shame prompts us to toss away the good gifts we are given. Shame has a way of manifesting in the nooks and crannies of our souls, keeping us from truly using and exploring the good gifts that God has placed inside of us. If we allow shame to keep us from using our good gifts, we will never be able to fully experience the life that God created with each of us in mind. We need to recognize our value and understand that we are a gift—an expression of who God is—and the world needs what he has deposited in us. 4. Shame keeps us from seeking help. It’s sneaky like that, growing in shadowy places until those struggling with it are too ashamed to seek help from the very shame that enslaves them. It lives within women who worship beside you at church, work in the next cubicle, attend your workout class, entertain you on TV, smile at you from magazine covers, or live next door. The challenge is that we’ve been shackled in the dark for so long that the darkness has crippled and immobilized us, but the only way that we can be healed from our shame is to acknowledge, uncover, and hold up our wounds to the One who can help. There is freedom on the other side, but we can’t get there on our own. 5. Shame teaches us to hide. For those of us schooled in shame, hiding is our go-to coping skill to guard ourselves against the pain of disapproval or judgment, condemnation or mockery, belittlement or exposure, or worse—just fill in the blank with your unique circumstance. Enough practice and we become masters at hiding from others and eventually ourselves. But instead of hiding, we must choose to seek. We must choose to seek God’s love, his unconditional grace and acceptance. There’s an astounding promise that comes with his love—that nothing can separate you from it—not even shame. If I can be set free from shame through the love of Jesus, than anyone can! I want everyone to experience his miraculous love. That’s why I’ve written the book, Unashamed. That’s why I travel and teach. That’s why I help others gain freedom through the work of A21. That’s why I reach out with Propel Women. I want people to know that they too are free to choose to get up and get moving into the beautiful future God has for them, and discover an abundance of freedom.

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8 Pastors and Leaders, This is probably one of the hardest seasons you’ve ever led through. One of the things that’s making this season particular challenging is that, regardless of ideology, theology or viewpoint, we are more divided and adamant than ever. People don’t agree on masks, social distancing, schooling, reopening church, online church politics or whether there’s even a real threat. As one lead pastor told me recently, “ There used to be two options. Now it feels like there are four or five, and no one agrees with anyone anymore.” Truth. The longer this global disruption goes on, the more entrenched, fractionalized and divided we seem to get. And, of course, now that this is not just a blip we got through in a few months, the divisions externally are showing up more clearly internally, at the board, staff, congregational and team level. Want to know why leadership is hard? Because you take people to where they wouldn’t ordinarily go if it wasn’t for your leadership. I’ve got a course on team leadership called  Lead a Better Team ,  that will help you deepen engagement, foster unity and get results. So how do you take them to a new place when no one agrees on anything? How do you lead a divided team, staff and church when no one agrees on anything? Obviously, there is no single, easy answer for this, but I want to share a few approaches that have helped me when things have felt divided. 1. Bring It All Back To The Mission On a good day, the mission of your church is your best friend. On a bad day, even more so. The challenge with division is that the mission gets lost. Your job as a leader is to remind everyone why you’re doing this in the first place. Sometimes, you need to remind yourself why. I know I do when things get chaotic and challenging. The good news for the church is we have the best mission in the world.  And chances are, somewhere in your mission, it mentions love. Of the three main questions leaders deal with—why, what and how—only why unites.  How  and  what  divide (what are we doing and how much will it cost?), while  why  unites (we’re all here to reach people). The challenge is that when things are fractious, people always want to talk about  what  and  how.   Hence the endless debates about whether to open/reopen, masks, distancing, online, etc. That’s when the best thing you can do as a leader is pull the conversation back and elevate it to the level of mission. That sounds something like: Let’s think for a few minutes about why we started the church.  Everyone take a minute and pray for someone you know and love that we’re trying to reach.  One of the best things about this place is your deep commitment to Christ and reaching people. What’s one of the greatest things you hope God will do over these next few months? A good general rule is to talk about  why  twice as much as you do  what  and  how .  In a crisis, you may want to double or triple that ratio. 2. Highlight What You Agree On When things get really tense, the conversation almost always goes to the one (or five) things you don’t agree on. Just rehearse any argument you’ve had with your spouse if you’re looking for a case study. When the conversation moves in that direction, redirect it to highlight what you agree on. And by that, I mean be specific. Some of that will definitely be mission-focused (see point 1 above). But you can get more granular than that. If you’ve got two team members arguing, shift the focus and remind them they both like volunteering, or are committed to helping the poor, or football, or pizza, or photography or  anything  that puts them back on the same page. Focusing on the common interests people have in the group humanizes each other. Another approach is to take people back to a moment when everyone  was  on the same page—at an offsite two years ago where you had that amazing dinner, or when you opened that new location and everyone rallied together. Starting a conversation with, “ Wow, I’d love to see us find the kind of unity we had in 2018 when we…,”  can be a great way to get people off whatever they’re upset about and remind them of what’s bonded them together. Your job as a leader is to focus on what unites your team, not on what divides it. The mission unites, but so do common interests and shared experiences. 3. Separate The People From The Problem Almost every leader has said, or thought, that leadership would be so easy if it wasn’t for people. Except, of course, leadership is the art of leading people. One of the best things you can do, as Roger Fischer, William Ury and Bruce Patton of the  Harvard Negotiation Project  argue, is to separate the people from the problem. You’ll be tempted to think people  are  the problem, but separating people from the problem is a key to making progress. Rather than saying, “I can’t believe you’re opposed to wearing masks,” you might say something like, “Wow, I can see you have strong views on masks. Here’s our challenge…we want to reach more people and the government (and our sense of what’s best) says to wear them. How can we work through this together?” In this reframing, the problem isn’t the  person , and it isn’t even  masks  anymore…the problem is how we’re going to work together to reach people.  By focusing on the problem, you’ve made yourself an  ally  of the person and an opponent of the common problem. Will that work 100% of the time? Nope. Some people you just can’t reason with. But you can’t build the future of the church on them anyway. Will the strategy work more than shouting at people and starting sentences with, “You always,” or, “I can’t believe you would…”? Yep. It will. Astute leaders know the people aren’t the problem. The problem is the problem. 4. Focus On Interests, Not Positions This is another principle I’ve used again and again from the  Harvard Negotiation Project , but it’s so helpful: Focus on interests, not positions. Here’s an example. In my first five years of ministry, our quick growth at three small churches that shared a pastor (me) pushed the limits of some historic buildings we were in. The buildings dated to the 19th century, and let’s just say there were long traditions and opinions associated with them. The proposal was to sell all three buildings, merge into one church and meet in an elementary school and then build a new facility a few years down the road. Naturally, not everyone agreed. The key to making a change that deep was refocusing everyone away from their positions (for or against) and toward our shared interests (creating a church their kids and grandkids would want to come to). The more I focused everyone on the need to reach our community and create the kind of church their kids and grandkids would want to come to, the more progress we made. I also pointed out that the alternative to progress was closing or dying, and nobody wanted that either. Because we shared the  interest  of reaching people, we got past the  positions  of for and against. We sold the buildings, moved to the school and a few years later moved into a new facility we built together. Notice how all four points in this blog post so far build on each other? Your job as a leader in divided times is to be the chief  unifier . Leaders who can’t unify their teams eventually have no teams, because division tears apart what unity brought together. 5. Change The Channel You know that garbage in produces garbage out. So does division. Division in will ultimately produce division out. If your definition of Christianity is full of hate and divisiveness, it’s not Christianity. Social media, and media as a whole, is so inflamed right now that it’s probably not helping you to find any kind of peace, let alone forge unity. I haven’t watched TV news in years (I read my news instead). I’ve muted and unfollowed more than a few leaders on my social media channels this year, largely because they seemed to enjoy fighting with anyone who came along. I haven’t created a homogenous universe where everyone agrees with me. I intentionally follow people and discussions that I don’t agree with (as well as some that I do). But the question I ask is whether the channel I’m watching or leader I’m following is trying to make it  better . Sadly, it seems like many aren’t right now. Maybe one of the reasons you feel so conflicted and deflated inside as a leader is because the people you follow are trying to divide and deflate people. And if that’s not where you want to land, I’d encourage you to unfollow them. Mute them. And fill your feed, not with fluffy stuff or echo chamber material, but with real people who are trying to make a real difference. I’m guessing that’s what you got into leadership to do. I did. There are still some good people out there. Follow them. Making your social media feed a place where the good gathers on the internet will help you create more good with the people you lead. www.careynieuwhof.com .

Earlier today I noticed this meme on Facebook, posted by a friend of mine. It’s a challenge to the believer that the God he worships is self-contradictory and inconsistent. The meme would seem to say the scripture is at odds with itself. Thus, why believe in a God who contradicts himself like this? However, such a perception is partial and false. Yes, Jesus wants us to love our enemies. Yes, Jesus showed love to his enemies. And yes, Jesus will send his enemies to hell. And there is no contradiction. Here’s why. The problem being revealed here is not a contradiction in the Bible. It is what theologians refer to as an Apparent Contradiction vs an Actual Contradiction. Apparent Contradictions come when we fail to take into account everything that the Bible might have to say on a subject, instead preferring to cherry-pick a few choice things to make an Apparent Contradiction seem like a real one. Apparent Contradictions can be challenging, like this meme. But they are not Actual. Let’s look at this in the light of what scripture actually teaches. How can Jesus command love yet create a place like hell for nonbelievers? Some people argue that hell was made for Satan and his demons and was not intended for humans. Yet this belief fails to take into account that there is no other place God created for non-believing humans to go too after they die without receiving Christ. Some quote  Matthew 25:41  where Jesus says to non-believers, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” They note that Jesus said hell was made for the devil and his angels but there is no mention of humans. But this doesn’t take into account the full text. Jesus, the passage records, sends these non-believers into hell. He says they must go, “Into the eternal fire.” Jesus also affirmed that God does send some people to hell when he said, “Fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” ( Matthew 10:28 ). Clearly, hell is designed for all who rebel against God and there is no other place in creation where they are to go. How could a loving God create such a place as hell? Keep in mind that hell is a place of punishment for sin. In God’s justice, sins against God are eternal since they offend the eternal God. While God’s hand of love and forgiveness is extended to all, there must be a place where those who reject that hand go to have a life apart from God. So, God’s love offers freedom, but the choice of the sinner rejecting God’s love goes to a place where God’s love is not manifested to him. If you object to the existence of hell, where would you suppose you could go? Perhaps a new place where you can live your life in offense to God and never be punished? Is that just? Consider, the person who breaks the law goes to jail. He has opportunities to live a good life without crime but rejects that life in favor of a criminal one. Should we send him to a place where he can commit as much crime as he wants and have us pay for it? Is that just? Moreover, is that loving to his victims? So it is with those who go to hell because of their rejection of Christ’s forgiveness. Right now, God’s offer of love and our condemnation exist at the same time. We’ll see why, from John 3 , in a moment. Some might argue that there is no reason why we can’t keep this arrangement. Why does it have to end? Why can we live in sin as we desire and God just leave us alone? There is a time for love and forgiveness and a time for wrath and punishment. Jesus doesn’t extend his hand in forgiveness and leave it extended forever. There’s a time limit. When we pass that limit, then only wrath awaits ( Hebrews 3:7-15 ;  9:27 ). See what Jesus said about God’s wrath in  John 3:17-18 . This statement comes right after Jesus’ most famous words in verse 16, “For God so  loved  the world…” Then look what he says in his next breath. “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe  is condemned already,  because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.” Here we see that wrath is not necessarily something that will come later (though that is true), but that wrath rests on the non-believer  right now . Jesus’ extended hand is the only escape. If we reject that hand we reject our only hope of avoiding God’s wrath. It’s like a man drowning in a pool. The lifeguard tosses out a life preserver, but the drowning man rejects it. He was already drowning. It wasn’t the lifeguard’s fault, he extended the drowning man’s salvation. Rejecting that help means he will only drown, and it will be all his fault. Even in the Old Testament Jesus revealed the two sides of his nature. Look at how God declared his name to Moses in  Exodus 34:6-7 . “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” So, we see from God’s own mouth that his nature contains both love and wrath. But look closer. God says he will, “Visit the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children.” Is this just? Yes. This doesn’t mean that God will punish your children for your sin. It means that if you reject the Lord as your fathers did, then you take your father’s sin upon yourself by repeating it, and even magnifying it. This is what is revealed in I Kings when it says that Israel sinned, doing worse than the kings before them ( I Kings 14:22 ;  16:25 ,  30 ). They took on their father’s sins and multiplied them. We even have a saying of Jesus to this effect. When Jesus confronted the Pharisees he stated, “The blood of all the prophets, shed from the foundation of the world, may be charged against this generation, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who perished between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, it will be required of this generation” ( Luke 11:50-51 ). So, God is not unjust, he is consistent. He loves his people and reaches out in love to all. But his patience has limits. In one way Jesus’ love will be experienced forever by his people. But for those who die in their sin, they experience his wrath forever. One might argue that God should extend his hand of mercy forever even if we reject him, that love would require it. But this is untrue. If God didn’t end up punishing his enemies then he would not be just. Everyone who sins would continue to sin and just get away with it. How is that just? How is that love? Justice and love go hand-in-hand. Look at this terrifying passage in  Deuteronomy 28:63 . “As the Lord took delight in doing you good and multiplying you, so the Lord will take delight in bringing ruin upon you and destroying you.” Now, there’s no way around this. I checked the Hebrew. The structure of the text when he says he “Took delight” in blessing them is the same structure as when he said he would, “Take delight” in destroying them. This is frightening. How can God take delight in destruction? This question comes to us because we in the Western church have been brainwashed to think that God is  only  a God of love. The scripture does say that, “God is love” ( I John 4:16 ). But the scripture never says that God is  only  love. God is also wrath for those who reject him. Here’s another interesting point. Believers in heaven will one day ask God when he will judge those that murdered them. Look at this: “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” ( Revelation 6:10 ). So, even believers who stand in God’s holy presence and experience the presence of his love, acknowledge that there is a time for love, and there is a time for wrath. What is even more interesting is that while the believers in this passage are asking for judgment, God answers them by telling them to wait a little longer. Why? Because God is busy extending his offer of love and salvation to a dying world. Conclusion Is there a contradiction between love and wrath? No. Can Jesus both love and have wrath at the same time? Yes. So, while it gives us some perverted sense of pride that we may think we have found a contradiction about Jesus or the scripture, once we dig a little deeper we discover that Jesus isn’t the one with the contradiction problem—we are. We want God to be what  we  want him to be. We want to enjoy the pleasures of sin and have no consequences. We want to ignore God all our lives and then demand that he let us into his heaven and have run of the place. So, you see, the contradiction is with us, not God. The question is, what will you do with your contradiction? Jesus’ hand of love is still extended. Will you take it? guywithabible.com

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;    it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.   Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV Psychologists John and Julie Gottman have dedicated their careers to studying why some marriages are healthy and long-lasting while others are difficult and often end in divorce. Responding favorably to “bids” made by a spouse was a major factor. Gottman has also identified four specific issues that can make or break a relationship. He dubbed these, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. If left unchecked, these four “relational viruses” will infect and damage a relationship. When they are addressed and controlled, relationships become healthy and flourish. These four issues are toxic in all our relationships: with our spouse, children, relatives, friends, and coworkers. Criticism Criticism focuses on a person’s flaws and judges them. It attacks someone’s character rather than addressing specific behaviors. It is expressed through constant disapproving, critiquing, correcting, blaming, nitpicking, or trying to fix someone. It’s not meant to be constructive or encouraging—just shaming. Criticism focuses on the negative and doesn’t offer suggestions for solutions and improvement. Here’s a good article by Jessica Higgins on why criticism is toxic to relationships. Defensiveness Often, when someone criticizes us, instead of listening carefully and owning our offenses, we become defensive. We refuse to admit wrongdoing and deny any responsibility. We refute our partner’s perspective and even reverse the accusation and cast blame on him or her. As a result, problems are not resolved and conflicts escalate. The solution is to accept responsibility for your part in the problem, even if it is a small part. Contempt Contempt is the most toxic issue. Its presence in a marriage is the greatest predictor of divorce. Contempt speaks from a position of moral superiority and includes sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. It is arrogant disregard, dismissal, and denigration of another person’s concerns. Contempt is, in the words of the 19th-century philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, “the unsullied conviction of the worthlessness of another.” It is marked by disgust and disdain and is destructive and defeating. Stonewalling Stonewalling occurs when we remove ourselves from a conversation and refuse to discuss contentious issues. We can physically stonewall someone by walking out of the room during a difficult conversation or by totally avoiding our partner by being absent. We can emotionally stonewall someone by becoming passive and expressionless; we are physically present but simply tune out the conversation. Our challenge is how to apply Gottman’s insight to our relationships. First, analyze yourself. To what degree are you guilty of these four unhealthy behaviors? Second, acknowledge that they are manageable and commit to change. It would be beneficial for you and your partner to talk about this post and together analyze your relationship. Here’s an article that discusses the antidote for each of the four hinderances. The Antidote to Criticism: Gentle Start-Up A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but  criticism  attacks a person’s very character. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blame by using  a soft or gentle start-up . Avoid saying “you,” which can indicate blame, and instead talk about your feelings using “I” statements and express what you need in a positive way. To put it simply, think of these two things to formulate your soft start-up:  What do I feel? What do I need? Criticism: “You always talk about yourself. Why are you always so selfish?”Antidote: “I’m feeling left out of our talk tonight and I need to vent. Can we please talk about my day?” Notice that the antidote starts with “I feel,” leads into “I need,” and then respectfully asks to fulfill that need. There’s no blame or criticism, which prevents the discussion from escalating into an argument. The Antidote to Contempt: Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect Contempt  shows up in statements that come from a position of moral superiority. Some examples of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. Contempt is destructive and defeating. It is the greatest predictor of divorce, and it must be avoided at all costs. The antidote to contempt is to build a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship, and there are a few ways to do that. One of our mottos is  Small Things Often : if you regularly express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner, you’ll create  a positive perspective  in your relationship that acts as a buffer for negative feelings. The more positive you feel, the less likely that you’ll feel or express contempt! Another way that we explain this is our discovery of the 5:1 “ magic ratio ” of positive to negative interactions that a relationship must have to succeed. If you have five or more positive interactions for every one negative interaction, then you’re making regular deposits into your  emotional bank account , which keeps your relationship in the green. Contempt: “You forgot to load the dishwasher again? Ugh. You are so incredibly lazy.” (Rolls eyes.)Antidote: “I understand that you’ve been busy lately, but could you please remember to load the dishwasher when I work late? I’d appreciate it.” The antidote here works so well because it expresses understanding right off the bat. This partner shows how they know that the lack of cleanliness isn’t out of laziness or malice, and so they do not make a contemptuous statement about their partner or take any position of moral superiority. Instead, this antidote is a respectful request, and it ends with a statement of appreciation. The Antidote to Defensiveness: Take Responsibility Defensiveness  is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Many people become defensive when they are being criticized, but the problem is that being defensive never helps to solve the problem at hand. Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying that the problem isn’t me, it’s you. As a result, the problem is not resolved and the conflict escalates further. The antidote is to accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict. Defensiveness: “It’s not my fault that we’re going to be late. It’s your fault since you always get dressed at the last second.”Antidote: “I don’t like being late, but you’re right. We don’t always have to leave so early. I can be a little more flexible.” By taking responsibility for part of the conflict (trying to leave too early), even while asserting that they don’t like to be late, this partner prevents the conflict from escalating by admitting their role in the conflict. From here, this couple can work towards a compromise. The Antidote to Stonewalling: Physiological Self-Soothing Stonewalling  is when someone completely withdraws from a conflict discussion and no longer responds to their partner. It usually happens when you’re feeling  flooded  or emotionally overwhelmed, so your reaction is to shut down, stop talking, and disengage. And when couples stonewall, they’re under a lot of emotional pressure, which increases heart rates, releases stress hormones into the bloodstream, and can even trigger a fight-or-flight response. In one of our  longitudinal research studies , we interrupted couples after fifteen minutes of an argument and told them we needed to adjust the equipment. We asked them not to talk about their issue, but just to read magazines for half an hour. When they started talking again, their heart rates were significantly lower and their interaction was more positive and productive. What happened during that half hour? Each partner, without even knowing it, physiologically soothed themselves by reading and avoiding discussion. They calmed down, and once they felt calm, they were able to return to the discussion in a respectful and rational way. Therefore, the antidote to stonewalling is to practice physiological self-soothing, and the first step of self-soothing is to stop the conflict discussion and call a timeout: “Look, we’ve been through this over and over again. I’m tired of reminding you—”“Honey, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I’m feeling overwhelmed and I need to take a break. Can you give me twenty minutes and then we can talk?” If you don’t take a break, you’ll find yourself either stonewalling and bottling up your emotions, or you’ll end up exploding at your partner, or both, and neither will get you anywhere good. So, when you take a break, it should last at least twenty minutes because it will take that long before your body physiologically calms down. It’s crucial that during this time you avoid thoughts of righteous indignation (“I don’t have to take this anymore”) and innocent victimhood (“Why is he always picking on me?”). Spend your time doing something soothing and distracting, like listening to music, reading, or exercising. It doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as it helps you to calm down. You’ve got the skills. Use them! Now that you know what the Four Horsemen are and how to counteract them with their proven antidotes, you’ve got the essential tools to manage conflict in a healthy way. As soon as you see criticism or contempt galloping in, remember their antidotes. Be vigilant. The more you can keep the Four Horsemen at bay, the more likely you are to have a stable and happy relationship.

A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. —Proverbs 16:28 Jesus made a remarkable statement concerning Judas. He said, “‘Did I Myself not choose you, the twelve, and yet one of you is a devil?’ Now He meant Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the twelve, was going to betray Him” (John 6:70-71). To what was Jesus referring when He identified Judas as “a devil”? Was He speaking figuratively or factually? Is Jesus saying that a human being could not only host an evil spirit in his soul, but that a person could actually become a demon? Some teach that Judas had become so perfectly possessed by Satan that he actually lost his humanity. Before we accept this interpretation, let us remember that after Judas delivered Jesus to His enemies, he felt such remorse that he committed suicide. Could a demon feel remorse for sin? I do not think so. What I believe Jesus is identifying in Judas Iscariot as a “devil” is something that, today, exists unchecked among many Christians. I’m talking about slander. In the New Testament the Greek word diabolos, which is translated “devil” in this text, is translated impersonally elsewhere as a “false accuser,” “slanderer” or “malicious gossip.” In fact, 1Timothy 3:11 and 2 Timothy 3:3 both translate diabolos (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, #1228) as “malicious gossip(s).” In other words, Jesus is not saying “one of you is a devil” in an organic or theological sense, but that one of you is “a slanderer, a malicious gossip.” So while the disciples were almost bragging about their loyalty to Christ, Jesus corrected them, in effect saying, “Yes, I chose you, but even among you there is one who is a malicious gossip, whose words will eventually betray Me to My enemies.” Gossip in the Last Days This problem of gossip in the Church, Paul tells us, will continue right into the end of the age. Listen carefully to what Paul wrote to Timothy about the last days: “Men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips” (2 Tim. 3:2-3), and the list goes on. In the midst of this list of great sins, the apostle includes “malicious gossips.” This is the exact same word translated “devil” in John 6:70. Perhaps you know people who always have something negative to say about others, who are a sewer system of negative information about people. Do you see how “malicious gossip” is kin to the nature of Satan himself? By Your Words . . . The Scriptures say that we will be justified or condemned by our words. Yes, our words — even those spoken in secret with a spouse or intimate friend — are used by God to measure our obedience to His will. James writes, “If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man” (James 3:2). Words have power. Scripture reveals that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). Our words, expressed as a confession of faith, bring us into salvation; but words rooted in bitterness can defile many, even an entire congregation. James 3:8 warns, “The tongue . . . is a restless evil . . . full of deadly poison.” “The tongue,” he says, “is a fire, the very world of iniquity” (v. 6). And James reveals one of the most profound truths in the Bible. He says that the tongue “sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell” (v. 6). Satan gains access to our world, to destroy all that is good and holy in it, through our words. The very course of our life, the direction and quality of life, is “set on fire by hell” through the words we speak. If we talk negatively about someone or maliciously spread gossip, the destructive fire of hell itself is released into our world. Lord, help us to understand the power of our words! I believe God wants to break the power of gossip and negative speaking from the Church. We may have a perfect analysis of what is wrong and why it is evil, yet if all we do is talk about it, we have yet to disavow our allegiance to hell. God calls us to be a house of prayer for all nations — a spiritual community that is mature, fully capable of seeing what is wrong, but positioning itself to release redemption into the world. Finally, as we enter the election season here in America, let us guard against the mudslinging and slander that accompany this period. Yes, in a humble spirit, let’s discuss and debate policies, and pray for guidance for ourselves and the candidates. But do not lose sight of your higher standing in God. Remember also the words of James: “The seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (James 3:18). Lord, I consecrate myself to be a house of prayer for my nation, where my spirit prays without ceasing and where Your river of life flows out from my innermost being. In honor of Christ. Amen. Adapted from Francis Frangipane’s book, A House United, available at www.arrowbookstore.com.

Today, the need I see for Christian boldness is a little different. It’s not so much that evangelicals are grasping for so-called “Christian America.” Rather, it’s our being drawn into the callout culture, the outrage culture, the cancel culture, the coddled culture. However you name it, it is very angry. And behind the relative safety of social media, it is very bold. This boldness is seldom beautiful. But some Christian culture warriors are drawn into it and shaped by it, with the result that their boldness is distorted toward the brash, angry, contentious, coarse, snide, and obnoxious. What is needed is not less boldness. No. The world is not suffering from too much boldness in the cause of truth. Rather, what’s missing is the beauty of brokenhearted boldness. Here at Desiring God, we believe that this brokenhearted boldness is not a personality trait, but a miracle of God’s Spirit. Christian boldness is a gift of God (Ephesians 6:19–20). Christian broken heartedness is a gift of God (Psalm 51:10–17). And the counterintuitive combination of the two is one of God’s most beautiful works. This is one of our aims and prayers, because we are Bible people. What the Bible presents as good and beautiful we pursue. But we have found over many years that our sinful hearts tend to distort the very beauties we pursue unless they are mingled with other beauties — especially the ones that lean against our most subtle distortions. Beauty of Boldness Boldness is a highly prized biblical beauty. Consider a few of the Bible’s presentations. Bold in approaching God. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace. (Hebrews 4:16; see also Ephesians 3:12) Bold before mere man. We can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6) Bold in righteousness. The righteous are bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1) Bold in new conquests. Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them. (Deuteronomy 31:7–8; see also Joshua 1:9) Bold before enemy kings. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him. (2 Chronicles 32:7) Bold before a new task. David said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed . . . until all the work for . . . the house of the Lord is finished.” (1 Chronicles 28:20) Bold for the sake of ministry. I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish . . . the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus. (Acts 20:24) Bold in speaking the truth. Now, Lord, . . . grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness. (Acts 4:29; see also Ephesians 6:20) Bold for the gospel. Let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, . . . not frightened in anything by your opponents. (Philippians 1:27–28) Bold to risk your life for the good. I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish. (Esther 4:16) Bold at the second coming. Abide in [Christ], so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. (1 John 2:28) Reasons for Boldness Not only does the Bible present boldness as beautiful, but it gives even more beautiful reasons for being bold. Biblical boldness is not a genetic disposition. It is the work of God enabling unworthy sinners to be transformed by reasons the Bible gives us to be bold. The reasons are breathtaking. And it is no wonder that boldness is a fitting and beautiful response. Consider some of the reasons the Bible gives for us to be bold. Our condemnation for sin was endured by Christ. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh. (Romans 8:3; see also Isaiah 53:5) Our sins are forgiven. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses. (Ephesians 1:7; see also 1 Peter 2:24) We are righteous in the righteousness of faith. . . . not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith. (Philippians 3:9) In Christ, we are the children of God. See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3:1) We have eternal life. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life. (John 3:36) As God’s heirs, we possess everything. All things are yours, whether . . . the world or life or death or the present or the future — all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. (1 Corinthians 3:21–23; see also Romans 8:32) Everything will work for our good. We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) We will never be put to shame. It stands in Scripture: “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.” (1 Peter 2:6) God will never leave us nor forsake us. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10; see also Hebrews 13:5) God will keep us from falling into unbelief. [He] will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:8–9) God governs the fall of sparrows, and we are more precious than they. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29–31) When hated and killed, we are not defeated. Some of you they will put to death. You will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. (Luke 21:16–18) We are more than conquerors at the moment the worst happens to us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:35–37) If the devil kills us, God gives us a crown of life. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison. . . . Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life. (Revelation 2:10) How can we not be bold if these are true! And they are true. If Christ is real, these glorious reasons to be bold are real. And nothing is more real than Christ. So, we find in ourselves a stirring of boldness. The more clearly we see these biblical beauties, and the more heartily we embrace them, the more boldness grows in our souls. Beauty of Broken heartedness But one of the great sorrows of the Christian life is that our remaining sinfulness threatens to distort the beauty of every holy pursuit. What Paul calls “sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:17) takes hold of a biblical beauty and distorts it — sometimes blatantly so that the distortion is obvious, and sometimes subtly so that the distortion is oh so defensible. Boldness can become brash, harsh, severe, cruel, angry, impatient, contentious, belligerent, coarse, crude, snarky, snide, loud, garish, obnoxious — all in the name of Christian courage. Or more subtly, boldness in the cause of truth can become, even if less brash and severe, more all-consuming. It can become such a fixation that all other beautiful affections and dispositions are eaten away from within. The soul loses its ability of see and savor and celebrate the good in others and in the world. We have found that God’s remedy for such distortions of biblical beauties is to provide other moral beauties which are meant to mingle with boldness and prevent it from being ruined by sin. One of the beauties of the Bible that leans against our blatant and subtle distortions of boldness is brokenheartedness. We have discovered that biblical brokenheartedness is beautifully designed by God to preserve biblical boldness in all its power but none of its distortions. Consider the basis and beauty of brokenheartedness in a few biblical presentations. The Lord is near the brokenhearted. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18) A broken and contrite heart is a pleasing sacrifice to God. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:17) God dwells with and revives the lowly and contrite. Thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.” (Isaiah 57:15) God attends to those who tremble at his word. This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word. (Isaiah 66:2) The humble, mourning, and meek are blessed. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:3–5) Those who despair of self are justified. The tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. (Luke 18:13–14) The godly obedient confess unworthiness. When you have done all that you were commanded, say, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.” (Luke 17:10) The reverent rejoice with trembling. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. (Psalm 2:11) We work out our salvation with trembling. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13) God’s might and care make us glad and lowly. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6–7) Even what we know truly, we know partly. Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12) We resist revenge, self-pity, and ultimatums. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. (1 Corinthians 4:12–13) We share the burden of the entire groaning creation. Not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:23) We live with the anguish of unsaved loved ones. I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart . . . for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. (Romans 9:2–3) We never get beyond the burden of sinning and the need of confession in this life. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Such brokenheartedness — contrition, lowliness, humility, trembling, meekness, anguish — is fitting in a fallen, and only partially saved, world. Yes, even fitting for saints — who are not yet perfect (Philippians 3:12) but “are being saved” (2 Corinthians 2:15). The very fitness of it is its beauty. More Beautiful Than Boldness If it were our purpose here to speak of bold broken heartedness (which it isn’t), we could linger over God’s wisdom in the way that the beauty of boldness is designed conversely to protect the beauty of broken heartedness from being distorted into fear, self-pity, passivity, joylessness, hopelessness, cowardice, self-absorption, and fruitlessness. But the point here is that God intends for the beauty of broken heartedness to mingle with the beauty of boldness so that a new reality emerges even more beautiful than the sum of both — a new reality called brokenhearted boldness. It is one of God’s most beautiful works. And it is one of the most needed in our day. We hope that at Desiring God we will not fail in the call to be bold for the truth. Please pray for us. We aspire by the Spirit to joyfully endure the cost of speaking biblical truth boldly. Should we ever suffer in some small way, we would like it to be said of us what was said of the apostles: “They left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name” (Acts 5:41). But we know something of our own sinfulness and how quickly we can strike back in the name of boldness. Our prayer is that God would spare us from the distortion of the courage he made to be beautiful, by creating something even more beautiful: brokenhearted boldness. www.desiringgod.org .

Today we're wrapping up our four part series entitled Leading Through, and the subtitle is Three Essentials, Three Essentials for Navigating Uncertainty. As you are painfully aware, and actually don't need to be reminded of, this season has been challenging for all of us. It's been brutal for some of us financially, socially, relationally to consequently we're all picking up the pieces and we're moving forward the best we can. But, many of us are actually not simply navigating ourselves through this difficult time, we're responsible for helping other folks move forward as well, right? Family members, employees, team members, students, perhaps your entire community. So if you're a parent, a manager, an executive of any type, a teacher, a city or state official, people are looking to you and they're looking to me for direction, for inspiration and ultimately for hope. And you know this, while leading under normal circumstances is tough enough, I mean, leading people through what we're experiencing right now, well, as my friend, Charlie Renfroe is fond of saying, "This is not a casual endeavor". And, be honest, nobody prepared us for this, right? I mean, how do you prepare for a pandemic combined with an economic shutdown, that's left us teetering on economic meltdown while navigating social unrest during an election year. I don't know about you, but this is my first time. And I can't focus on simply getting me through this because I'm responsible for getting the me's around me through this as well. I'm responsible for leading my family through this, our 500+ staff members through this. And I feel responsible to some extent for leading many of you through this as well, and perhaps you can relate. There aren't any maps, there aren't any instructions, we're making this up as we go along, and this is the tension that every single leader lives with. Every father who's lost his job, every mother who finds herself parenting alone, every small business owner trying to stay afloat, every manager, and maybe this is you who senses all eyes on him or her when she walks through the door or when she logs on to Zoom. We don't have all the answers, we don't always know what to do. And while much of this feels new, there's something that's actually not so new about it. And that's uncertainty, because uncertainty is a permanent part of life, and to the point of our series, uncertainty, uncertainty is why the world needs leaders, and it's why the world needs leadership. It's why your family, it's why your company, it's why your city, it's why your state needs you. So we're discussing three essentials for leading through disruption and uncertainty. And while these facets of leadership are always important in times like these, they are more important than ever. So if you haven't been with us, a quick review, the first of our three, was moral authority, to lead through times of disruption and uncertainty we have to maintain our moral authority. There must be alignment between what we say and what we do. What we expect of others and what we expect of ourselves. Moral authority is the credibility we earn by walking our talk and moral authority creates credibility and credibility creates influence, and come on in because of uncertainty influence is everything. The second non-negotiable we talked about last time, is clarity. Clarity, you can be uncertain, but as a leader, you cannot afford to be unclear. In fact, our mandate as leaders and as parents is to be clear even when we're not certain, and here's why I say that. Clarity is actually perceived and experienced as leadership. In times of disruption, clarity is the next best thing to certainty. So mom, dad manager, mayor, teacher be clear even when you're not certain, which is pretty much most of the time, right? And that brings us to our third non-negotiable for leading through difficult times, you must display your humanity. You must display your humanity. You have to be human. We have to be vulnerable. We have to be transparent. We have to be real, exercise our empathy muscle, the people who are looking to you need to experience your humanity. And here's why. When I'm convinced that you know how I feel, I will be far more open to your influence. When I'm convinced that you know how I feel, I'm gonna be far more open to your influence, even when, in fact, especially when, you're asking me to follow you into the unknown. I mean, when you acknowledge and legitimize my fear or my worry, my concern, I'll trust you, but if you ignore it, if you downplay it, if you brush it off, if you criticize me for it, if you seem to be unaware of how current reality is impacting me and impacting my family, I'm gonna resist you and I'll resist you because, well, you've convinced me that you don't understand me. And while that may not even actually be the case, I mean, you may be as worried as I am, you may be as uncertain as I am, but for me to follow you, for me to follow you, you've got to convince me that you get me. Now, recently, I had the opportunity to interview author and consultant Patrick Lencioni on my leadership podcast, and I asked him, I said, "Patrick, what are you telling leaders right now"? He consults with business and community leaders. And I said, "Hey, during all this stuff that's going on, what are you saying"? And here's what he said, he said, "I'm telling leaders to be human". "I'm telling leaders to be human, to check in often. Come on, no one has ever left a company because the leader over communicated or communicated too often". But to be clear, I'm talking about expressing your humanity within the context of your role as a leader. This isn't just empathy for empathy sake. This isn't, I know you're worried, I'm worried too, so let's just all be worried together. That's a version of empathy, but that's not leadership and it's not what your family and the folks who are depending on you need right now. Empathy within the context of leadership is for the purpose of building trust so that the people who depend on you will trust you enough to follow you. Now, there's actually a biblical term for this that I think encapsulates this idea perfectly. It could really, it captures this dynamic. It may make you a bit nervous, but it shouldn't, and it's the term pastor, pastor, and for most of us, the term pastor carries religious connotations, but technically it shouldn't. It comes from the Latin term for shepherd. In fact, interesting fact, the term pastor should have never appeared in our English New Testament because it's not a translation of the Greek text. Early Bible translators actually substituted the Latin term pastor for the Greek term shepherd. And why did they do that? Well, that's a story for another day. But originally like back in Jesus' day, originally, pastoring or literally shepherding was a function, not a church office, it certainly wasn't a position. Now, the important thing for our discussion is that during times of disruption, uncertainty and uncertainty, our families, our communities, and our employees need to be pastored or shepherded. Not because they're sheep, because they're looking to you and they're looking to me for, well, they're looking to us for what sheep looked to their shepherds for, protection, security, and reassurance. So, if you lead in any capacity, in any capacity, shepherding is part of your responsibility. And if you're thinking, "Well, Andy, that's easy for you to say because you're a professional shepherd". It's not as easy for me to say, as you might imagine. I'm a pastor by profession, but the pastoring aspects of my leadership does not come natural to me. I had to learn, and honestly, I'm still learning. I'm a much better public speaker than I am a shepherd. And I'm not proud of that, in fact, the only reason I tell you that is to encourage those of you who are already playing with your phone, because you're thinking, there's no way I'm doing this too touchy, feely for me, right? I get that. And this may not be the way you're wired, but this is still your responsibility at home, at work, at school and in your community. And maybe this will encourage you. Years ago of our board members was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery, and when I found out, I drove over to the hospital to check on him. Back then, I didn't, in fact, I still don't do much hospital visitation for two reasons, I'm terrible at it, and consequently, I'm uncomfortable with it, and I make people uncomfortable, which is the last thing you wanna do when people are already uncomfortable, right? Anyway, so when I walked into Ray's hospital room, his eyes got big and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "Andy, what are you doing here"? And I said, "Ray, I just came to check on you". And he said, and I quote, "Oh, when I saw you, I thought it must be worse than they told me". I'm such a comforting presence. So, for some of you, what I'm about to suggest will not be natural, but that doesn't mean you don't care about people, you do, you just care differently. But, and this is so important, in times of disruption, in times of uncertainty, we have to disrupt our own patterns and resist, in some cases, our personalities and our temperaments, in times of uncertainty, we have to step into the role of pastor and shepherd, because along with clarity and moral authority, that's what people need. It's not necessarily what they need most, but, and this is so important, it's not necessarily what they need most, but it is what they need first. So don't hide behind what's comfortable. Don't barricade yourself behind busy-ness or a role or a title, great leaders do what needs to be done, and in times of disruption, people need shepherding. They need pastoring. They need reassuring. So whether it's comfortable or not, it's time to turn it up in the mix. And here's the thing. In fact, I'll make you a promise, if you do this, even if you do it poorly, even if you do it awkwardly, the people you're responsible for will be so grateful. They will appreciate the fact that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone for their sake, that you're putting them first. And according to Jesus, that's what great leaders do. That's what he did. He put other people first. After a particularly stressful season of literally hands on ministry, Jesus and his 12 apostles decided to get out of town for a break. In fact, Peter, by way of Mark tells us what took place. Here's what Peter told Mark. He said, "So they", talking about the 12 apostles and Jesus, "So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place". So they decided we just need to get away from the crowd and take a break because they've been so busy. The story continues, but many who saw them leaving on the boat, recognized them, there's Jesus, there's Jesus, and they ran on foot around the edge of the Lake from all the towns, and they got to where Jesus was going ahead of Jesus. And then something interesting happens. When Jesus and his apostles landed and saw the large crowd, he got back on the boat and went to an even more solitary place. No, that's not what he did. And when Jesus saw the large crowd, this is so powerful, even though he was worn out, even though he was tired, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd, and so he began teaching them many things. everybody missed dinner, and so then he did what good shepherds do, he fed them, all 5,000 plus of the crowd. Later on John, the apostle John would record Jesus' description of his role as a shepherd, and this is so instructive, and this is so inspiring for all of us, in fact, for those of us who are responsible for members of our family or a company, or a community here is the posture, here's the posture we are to take as leaders who are stepping into the role of shepherd. Here's what Jesus says, speaking of the role of shepherd, he says, "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out". This is what the good shepherd does. "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them. He goes on ahead of them and his sheep follow him because they know his voice". Now what I'm about to say next is so extraordinarily important. During times of uncertainty, and during times of disruption, your voice, your voice is more important than your words. During times of uncertainty and disruption, when it comes to the people looking to you for hope and reassurance, your voice is more important than your words. Your voice is an expression of your humanity. People need to hear your voice. It's not enough for them to read your words, email and texts, those are for normal times, but during times of disruption and uncertainty find ways for people to hear your voice. When you're tempted to text, call, I mean, they probably won't answer anyway, right? Nobody answers anymore, but leave a voicemail. Let people hear your voice, because your voice conveys your humanity, your empathy, your genuine interest, and call somebody even if you can't call everybody, this is symbolic leadership. It goes back to what you've heard me say before. Always look for an opportunity to do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. Your team or your staff may be too large for you to call everyone, but call someone and check in. Especially those who are having a particularly difficult time in this season. And please ignore that little voice in your head, ignore that little voice in your head that says, "Well, since I can't do it for everyone, I shouldn't do it for anyone". That's nonsense. Don't try to be fair, be engaged, especially now. And again, this doesn't come naturally for me, not because I don't care, but because I forget how important this is. When I first heard that my friends Stuart Hall had been rushed to the hospital with complications from COVID, I came home that afternoon and I told Sandra, and I was telling her all about the things that were going on, and Sandra asked me, she said, "Well, have you called Kelly? His wife, Kelly, have you called Kelly"? I said, no, I'll text her later. And she smiles, she reached over, literally took my phone, slid it across the counter, and she looked at me and she said, "I think we should call her now". She was right. And so I called, and I didn't know what to say. I mean, at times there's nothing to say. It's why we don't call, isn't it? But that's a mistake. Call somebody even if you can't call everybody. Again, this is our responsibility as leaders. But if you're a Jesus follower, it goes beyond that. If you're a Jesus follower, this goes beyond just good leadership etiquette. Jesus said this, he said, this is so powerful, he said, "I am the good shepherd". "I am the good shepherd". And when we read something like that, especially if you're a Jesus follower, you feel like it just puts them in a category of one, but that's not his point. He said, "I am the good shepherd". Which means, if we are Jesus followers, and if Jesus was willing to step into the role as shepherd, think about that, if Jesus was willing to step into that role, as his followers, we have no choice but to follow. But what he says next may cause your heart skip a beat. He says this, "I am the good shepherd". And oh, by the way, "The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep". To which, we think, I'm not sure I wanna be that good, right? Fortunately, this is not literal for most of us, but there is certainly application. And here's why I say that. The good shepherd puts the sheep first and the sheep know it. And the good shepherd steps out of his or her comfort zone to make sure the sheep feel comforted. So, don't just be father, be dad. Don't just be mother, be mom. Don't just be boss, manager, supervisor, be human. Or to use Jesus' words, don't be like a hired hand, don't be like someone who's there because they have to be, they're there because they're paid to be, because they're supposed to be, the hired hand isn't in it for the sheep, the hired hand is in it, well actually Jesus says it best, here's what he said, he said, "The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep". So what happens, "When he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and he runs away". Why? Jesus tells us. "The man runs away, because he's a hired hand and he cares nothing for the sheep". He's not in it for the sake of the sheep. So he doesn't stick around when things are uncomfortable. During times of uncertainty and disruption, when the wolves are howling, your presence, your willingness to stick around, your willingness to keep showing up is more important than ever. Your presence, your presence is more important than your presentation. Your presence is more important than your preparation, where I struggle with this as a leader, and sometimes even as a father, is I feel like there's no reason to show up until I have something new to say, right? Until I have something helpful to say, insightful to say, until I have something specific to offer, until I have answers and solutions. That's a mistake. In times of uncertainty, our presence, our presence is everything. And this is difficult for some of us, because we're solution people, right? We're progress oriented. So, why pull people together if we don't have solutions and answers? Because in times of disruption, there is something more important, namely our presence. Now, this next little illustration may be a bit close to home, so I just wanna warn you ahead of time. But have you ever sat in a waiting room, waiting for information from a doctor or a surgeon? Let me ask you this, if you've ever been in that situation, can they show up or check in too often? Can they show up or check into frequently? I mean, can they be too present? No. Because when the doctor or the surgeon walks in, what do we do? We lean in, why? Because we crave reassurance. We crave their presence. We don't want a text, and we don't want a phone call, we want a person and in a hospital waiting room, come on, we could care less about the quality of the doctor's presentation, right? We don't roll our eyes if his grammar isn't perfect or she mispronounces a name. So as a father, as a husband, as a leader, as a boss, here's the question, here's the question that I'm responsible for asking myself every single day, and if you have people looking to you for direction, reassurance and hope, it's a question you should ask yourself every day as well. And here it is, do people know, do people know, do people know that I care? Do the people you are responsible for, do they know that you care? You know you care, but do they know? Or to ask it in a different way, is your humanity showing? Is your humanity showing? To wrap up, I wanna tell you a story, it involves president Obama, and if you're a Democrat, you're gonna love this. If you are a Republican, you should love this, not because you necessarily loved him, but because you're mature enough to learn from anybody and everybody, right? So for four minutes, just four minutes, I want you to set aside your political filter because this incident from his presidency punctuates the importance of taking on the mantle of shepherd and pastor in times of disruption, uncertainty, and in this instance, in times of unspeakable tragedy. If you have ever visited a friend or family member who has lost a child, you know that it's one of the most difficult environments to walk into. As a pastor, I have found myself in this place over and over and over, and there's just nothing to say. And this is especially difficult if someone has lost a child unexpectedly. There just are no words. There are no solutions. But imagine having to walk into that set of circumstances or that environment 20 times to comfort 20 families on the same afternoon. This is the situation president Obama found himself walking into by choice following the Sandy Hook elementary school shootings in 2012 in Newtown, Connecticut. On the morning of December 14th, you'll probably remember this, a 20 year old broke into the school, right after the doors had been locked. He shot and killed 26 people, including 20 children before taking his own life. The oldest child was seven years old. Michelle Obama in her memoirs said this, she said it was the darkest day in the White House. She wrote, "When I walked in, when I walked into the oval office, Barack and I embraced silently. There was nothing to say. No words". As a fact guy, that's how she describes him, as a fact guy she said that president Obama demanded to be fully briefed. He wanted all the details. Joshua Dubois, who was the spiritual advisor to the president in his book, "The President's Devotional" describes the Saturday afternoon, that the president called him and said he wanted to meet with each of the families of the victims and he wanted Joshua to go with him. Joshua describes what happened when they arrived. This is from his book. He said, "We prepared seven or eight classrooms for the families of the slain children and teachers, two or three families to a classroom. The president took a deep breath, steeled himself and went into the first classroom. And what happened next"? He says, "I'll never forget" "Person after person received an engulfing hug from our commander-in-chief". He would say, "Tell me, tell me about your son. Tell me about your daughter, and then he would hold pictures of the loss beloved as their parents described their favorite foods, their favorite television shows and the sounds of their laughter. For the younger siblings of those who had passed away, many of them two or three, four years old, way too young to understand, he said that the president would grab them, toss them into the air, laughing, and then hand them a box of White House M&Ms". Joshua says this, "In each room, I saw his eyes water, but he did not break. And then the entire scene would repeat itself for hours over and over again through well over a hundred relatives of the fallen. Each one equally broken. Each one equally wrecked by the loss". Joshua says that he and the president flew home in silence, and that president Obama never spoke of these sacred moments in public. In fact, this is probably the first time you've heard about this. Now, here's why I tell you that story. It takes away our excuses, because that day president Obama was the pastor in chief, the shepherd in chief, not because he claimed that title, it's not a title, because he acted, because he led in that capacity. He showed his humanity. He took off the mantle of authority and he set it aside, because that's what the moment called for. Think about it, he could've gotten away with a handwritten note. He could have gotten away with just a call. He could have met with all the families at one time, and express his condolences and then flown home. But he didn't, he waited in because that's what the moment called for. The point being this, there's a time for us non-huggers, to hug, for us order givers, to listen for the fact people to stop and just feel, for us progress people to pause and just be in the moment. For fathers to be dad, and for mothers to be mom. And times of disruption and uncertainty, words are important, but words are not enough. Lead with your humanity, your presence, your compassion, your empathy. Assure the people who are looking to you that you care, make sure your humanity is showing. www.northpoint.org . When leading through uncertainty, you must display your humanity. You have to be vulnerable, transparent, real. The people who are looking to you need to experience your empathy because they will trust you enough to be open to your influence, and to follow you into the unknown. www.northpoint.org .

I am currently reading an amazing book by Ijeoma Oluo,  So You Want to Talk About Race , and read a passage that really struck me: “Take care in your conversations, remember that you are dealing with the real hurt of human beings. But be brave in that care, be honest in that care. These conversations will never become easy, but they will become easier. They will never be painless, but they can lessen pain. They will never be risk-free, but they will always be worth it.” This got me thinking: what does having these kinds of conversations look like? How do we get comfortable with the uncomfortable? How do we become brave enough to look in the closet of our personal  and  public history? How do we face, process and deal with any painful skeletons we may find there? This is something we all need to do—myself included. So, don’t see this blog as me instructing you. See this as the beginning of many fruitful, painful, uncomfortable, freeing, and powerful discussions we need to start having to live better, healthier, and happier lives. This kind of work is what I call “mind-in-action” work. It is integral to the life well lived. As we face, process and  reconceptualize the thoughts , mindsets and worldviews we have in our heads, which have affected and still affect our communication and behavior, we “renew our minds”. This builds up our cognitive resilience and our intellect, and boosts our mental health. Yes, this kind work is both powerful AND painful, but be assured that you are not alone. We are all in this together! Recognize that  each person comes to the table with their own lived experiences  (their own mental luggage), which affects how they receive your words and messaging. Try to see how someone’s lived experiences, emotions, and trauma are just as valid as yours before you just lash out. Go into the discussion with a learning mindset . This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything someone says (or even believe everything they say), but it does mean that, by listening with  sincerity and integrity , you are both respecting and sharing in their humanity. Before going into a difficult conversation or responding to a challenging idea,  pay attention to what your brain and body is telling you . Do you notice any physical or emotional warning signals, such as anger, an adrenalin rush, and so on? Pause and take a few deep breathes (I recommend doing this for 60-90 seconds). Never start a conversation on a highly emotional or agitated note. If you need some time to calm down, that is fine. Say something like “I am not in the right headspace now to give this conversation the attention and emotional strength it deserves. Let’s talk later.” Also, try avoiding tough conversations when you are hungry or tired, as this affects the brain and body, and you will be less likely to make good decisions! Watch how you frame your words . Be careful you don’t put the other person on the defensive from the start, as this will be counterproductive. Be clear, direct and respectful. Don’t assume you know what someone is thinking or trying to say. Avoid trigger words or statements like “you always….”, “just calm down”, “you just think…..” or “you never…”. Rather, say something like “this is my opinion, so let me know if I am misreading you” or “I do not think I understand what you are trying to say, can you clarify…..”. You can also ask questions like “can you explain what you mean….” or “why is this important to you?”. I found this helpful: AVOID : “You always…” “Calm down!” “You never…” “You should…” “You must…” & Name calling SAY : How you feel, not what you think Sorry and take responsibility for what you feel you may have done wrong, but don’t say sorry excessively “I feel like you are not quite understanding me, can we talk about this for a minute?” “What I heard you say is ____; is that accurate?” “From your perspective, this is about ____?” “I am struggling to understand…..”   Remember that  being open-minded and engaging in challenging and difficult conversations is one of the best things you can do for your brain ! It strengthens brain muscle, increases stress resilience and cognitive flexibility, and, if done correctly, will build healthy, happy thought structures in your brain! Your brain is always changing (this is called neuroplasticity). How you respond to someone directs this change, determining what is built in your head as a thought structure, which, in turn, affects your mental and physical health, as well as your future behavior. This can be either negative, neutral or positive— the choice is yours . Check your mindset before going into an argument . Are you doing this because you want to win—do you perceive this discussion as a power struggle? Do you see these conversations as zero-sum games, where there is only one winner and one loser? Are you trying to be better or are you just trying to be “right”? Don’t go into a conversation trying to fix someone, correct them or save them. That is not your job. Watch your body language ! Stay calm, don’t throw hands up or raise your eyebrows, and try control your facial expressions. Remember,  50% of communication is nonverbal ; what you are really thinking will come out through body language. Don’t bring up any past mistakes, arguments or experiences . Talk about what is happening  now. Bringing up past hurts and mistakes will only make things worse, putting the other person on the defensive. Encourage the other person to express themselves and be honest with you. Always  ask yourself “is what I’m about to say coming from a place of love, or with the goal to win?” Do you want to speak to this person or hurt this person? Watch your tone —keep it even and try to avoid raising it. Before engaging in a conversation on a difficult topic, be sure to  educate yourself on  all sides by reading books and articles, listening to podcasts or watching talks or documentaries. This does not mean just collecting information that supports your viewpoint! Read and engage with materials that have a different point of view. There is always more you can learn! Educating yourself doesn’t mean you are agreeing to all the ideas. It does, however, allow you to be better informed and more understanding, and will stimulate the brain to think deeply, which is very healthy! Avoid social media fights . Social media is good for a lot of things, but trying to have real, deep and respectful conversations on platforms like Instagram and Facebook is often impossible, and can become very toxic very fast. Avoid being nasty, name-calling and traumatizing people with your comments. And don’t use major platforms to push forward your own point of view. This will only make you look bad, or get you banned for being uncivil. Yes, you are free to speak your mind, but other people are just as free to not listen—especially if it is their platform and you are being discourteous. If you have something to say to someone who has a major platform send them a private email with your points. Be clear, direct, respectful and courteous. Don’t interrupt . This is incredibly annoying even in a happy conversation! Let the other person speak and listen to what they have to say with respect. Take care of your mental and physical wellbeing . Make sure you have a support system in place you can turn to, i.e. a group of people you trust or calming rituals like yoga and deep breathing, which will help you process and deal with challenging conversations. If you are worried a conversation will get very toxic, avoid being alone with that person, and make sure they can’t corner you. www.drleaf.com . Used by permission.

John Piper, in his magnificent book, “Why I Love the Apostle Paul,” asks us why Paul didn’t boast more about his vision of the third heaven. Where did Paul go? Here are John Piper’s observations: “Suppose you had an absolutely stunning supernatural experience, like being in a car accident and having an out-of-body experience so that you were sure you had died and gone to heaven for a few minutes before returning to your body and being brought back to life. How would you handle that experience? Most of us would be consumed with telling others about it. We might even write a book about it, and go on a speaking circuit. It’s just too amazing to keep to ourselves. And more than likely we would feel empowered to use that very experience to authorize our views of heaven. We might feel as if this extraordinary experience gave us extraordinary influence. Who could contradict us? We had been there! To Heaven and Back Paul did have an experience something like that. But here’s the amazing thing: He mentions it only one time in his thirteen letters, and he never once makes it the warrant for believing anything he says. In fact, the only reason he brings it up is to say that this kind of privilege is precisely not what he will boast in. Rather, he will boast in his weaknesses. Here’s the experience — he even describes it as if it were another person so as not to exalt himself: I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it, I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven — whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise — whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows — and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. (2 Corinthians 12:1–5) We know he is talking about himself, even though he says, “I know a man . . .” because two verses later he says, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7). So he himself is the one who had this extraordinary experience. It is astonishing that Paul introduces this absolutely stunning experience of being “caught up into paradise” only to give it a passing “boast” and then turn all his attention to the real marks of an apostle — namely, suffering for Christ’s sake. Why Minimize the Marvelous? Paul never mentions this experience again. He does not use it to pull rank. He shifts all the focus off of the dramatic and onto the painful reality of suffering with joy. Why? Because it is merely human to boast about extraordinary experiences like visions and out-of-body encounters with God. It requires no great grace or power of God to boast in things that seem to set you apart as privileged. But to boast about weaknesses, and to be content with insults and hardships and persecutions and calamities — that is not what ordinary sinful humans are like. That requires supernatural grace. This is what Paul wants to focus on as the evidence of his apostleship. In fact, he says that the Lord Jesus gave him a thorn in the flesh (we never know what it is) precisely so that he would be hindered from boasting as a superhero of spiritual experience. When Paul pleaded that Jesus would take the thorn away, the Lord answered, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So Paul concluded, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10) Instead of circling back again and again to his once-in-a-lifetime out-of-body experience, Paul mentions it once, and then shifts all the focus onto the truths that people can see and think about and test in his writing and his life. Rooted in Public Reality In other words, the truth of Christianity is not rooted in mystical experiences that only a few people have. It is rooted in God-given revelation through writings that are open for all to see and study and test. It is validated in real lives that others can see and examine. So, instead of directing people to his private experience, Paul says, We behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you. For we are not writing to you anything other than what you read and understand and I hope you will fully understand. (2 Corinthians 1:12–13) “The truth of Christianity is not rooted in mystical experiences that only a few people have.” If you were to ask Paul, “How can we share your insight into the mystery of Christ?” he would not answer, “I’m sorry. Those mysteries are reserved for the select few who have rare mystical experiences.” What he would say is this: “When you read this, you can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ” (Ephesians 3:4). His way of opening heaven was not by appealing to unsharable experiences. His way was by appealing to shareable truths written for all to see and understand and experience. Life on Display Behind these writings he put his own life as evidence of reality. Not his life in the rare moments of mystical experience, but his life as a flesh-and-blood man who had to deal with all the hardships of life and ministry. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me — practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:9) Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. (Philippians 3:17) Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1) In other words, Paul’s way of leading us into the truth and glory of Christ was not to talk about his privilege of an out-of-body experience of paradise. Instead, his way was to live an open life of total devotion to Jesus, through much suffering, and to write Spirit-given words (1 Corinthians 2:13) that are open to all — readable, public, ready for all to examine. This is a mark of humble, serious, personal reality. It is unusual, contrary to ordinary human proclivities, attractive. It has won my heart. www.desiringgod.org .

The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 How to Be There for Others Jeff Jones Today we continue our series, The Secret Sauce, focusing on some of the components that make up the kind of life-giving relationships God created us to build. Last week I mentioned that this week would be on hard conversations, but I was wrong. That’s next week. You can learn how to confront me about my mistake then. This week we are talking about consistency, being there for people when being there is hard. When you first hear that phrase, “being there,” it may sound pretty lame—being there. It’s like when I played baseball, just one season, and I wasn’t very good at it, so when I was up at bat rarely did people in the stands who wanted to be encouraging have anything to say. I struck out a lot. The best I got was when I just stood there as a pitch went by the plate. If it was a ball, people would say, “Good eye! Good eye!” That’s the best it got, and a few pitches later after I struck out, people might say, “That’s okay! You’ll get ‘em next time.” There was something so defeating hearing “Good eye” as my biggest contribution to the game. Just being there feels the same to me, like the crowd shouting, “Good eye!” or “Way to be there!” “Way to show up!” I want to do more than to just show up, but what we are going to see today is that showing up is way more powerful than we think. All of us need people in our lives who show up, who are there for us when being there is hard—not necessarily to solve anything or make it all better…but to strengthen us in the way that only the right person showing up can. It’s of course easier not to show up, and when we show up not knowing how can help or what we can say, it can be so awkward. But today I want to motivate you and me to push through that awkwardness and be people who show up in the lives of people around us. Today we are talking about how to be there when being there is hard. We all need that, and we all have the opportunity to do that. We are going to see this today in a very personal and vulnerable passage in the Bible where Paul is basically begging a trusted friend to show up, when doing so would have been really difficult to do. It’s in the book of 2 Timothy, which was Paul’s last letter. He was in a dungeon in Rome imprisoned by Nero and shortly 1 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 after writing this letter he would be beheaded. So, 2 Timothy was written at a very difficult time for Paul. Paul is writing to Timothy, and he says, The Lord was with him, but at his biggest time of need, “no one came to my support” and “everyone deserted me.” Picture a kid playing in a big game scanning the crowd for her parents, and nobody is there. This was may more dramatic than that. To understand it, we need to know the backstory. It was a really bad time to be a Christian in Rome, because Nero the Emperor had initiated a terrible time of persecution against Christians that was very violent and very real. Nero was a nut case, and he hated Christians. A few years earlier, he had burned much of Rome for selfish reasons and when people were upset he blamed it on the Christians and started an incredible period of persecution against the church. He started one of the multiple rounds in the Roman empire where Christians were killed in the Coliseum for sport. The ancient Roman historian Tacitus wrote at the time: SLIDE__________________________) (Put on one slide) “Ergo abolendo rumori Nero subdidit reos. et quaesitissimis poenis adfecit quos per flagitia invisos vulgus christianos appellabat. Auctor nominis eius christus. Tyberio imperitante per procuratorem pontium pilatum supplicio adfectus erat. repressaque in praesens exitiabilis superstitio rursum erumpebat.” -Tacitus Or, in English: SLIDE__________________________) "Therefore, to put an end to the rumor Nero created a diversion and subjected to the most extra-ordinary tortures those hated for their abominations by the common people called Christians…Covered with the skins of beasts, they were torn by dogs and perished, or were nailed to crosses, or were doomed to the flames. These served to illuminate the night when daylight failed. Nero had thrown open the gardens for the spectacle… Hence, even for criminals who deserved extreme and exemplary punishment there arose a feeling of compassion; for it was not, as it seemed, for the public good, but to satisfy one man's cruelty, that they were being punished.” -Tacitus They would sew Christians alive into the carcasses of recently killed animals and place them in the arena with starved wild dogs. He also had the habit of covering live Christians with pitch and lighting them on fire to serve as outdoor lighting for 2 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 evening parties in his gardens. That’s what it meant to be a Christian in Rome around the time Paul was there, so most Christians had fled the city and it certainly was not safe to be identified as a Christian. So, in the middle of this, Paul is arrested and brought to Rome. As a Roman citizen, he has the right to a trial, and as with us there were two steps. A first trial, like our grand jury trial, and then the actual trial. Paul is talking about that first trial, and the way the grand jury trial worked is that people would come and argue on your behalf, stand with you in court, to see if the case would be dismissed or move forward to the next trial. In Paul’s case, nobody stood with Paul. Nobody showed up to speak in his defense. Now that would have been incredibly painful and disappointing to Paul. There were Christians in Rome who could have stood by him, and it is mysterious where Luke was. We don’t know, maybe out of town or not there yet. But nobody came, nobody stood with him, nobody spoke for him. You can see why though because if people did come they would be identifying themselves as Christians and could also be arrested and killed. We are talking about being there when being there is hard, and it’s pretty hard to be there when Nero might take you, cover you with tar, and light you on fire to light his dinner party that night. You can tell though that Paul would have shown up for these other people, but these other people did not do that for him. SLIDE______________________) 2 Timothy 4:9-11 “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Only Luke is with me.” Paul always traveled with a team, and his team was no longer there. We don’t know exactly happened with Demas, except that he “deserted” Paul. The Greek word translated “deserted” means left in a bad situation. When Paul needed Demas most, Demas split because he loved this present world, more than the one to come. He had sent other team members on other assignments, so now “only” Luke was with him. That makes it sound like Luke was kind of a dud, but I don’t think that’s what he meant. Paul’s circumstances in Rome were horrific. He was in a dungeon, dark and damp and cold…rat infested, little food. He wasn’t vacationing in Italy. He was in a horrible situation, and those that had been with him split in his greatest hour of need. He needed other people around him, not just Luke. He felt alone. 3 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 Have you ever felt that way—alone when you needed people more than ever? When things are going well, we can do okay living a fairly isolated life. But when circumstances turn south, we realize our need for people. If we are alone, we really feel alone. So far this is a sad story, but it only gets more sad in verse 16, where we read: SLIDE_____________________) 2 Timothy 4:16 “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.” SLIDE_____________________) 2 Timothy 4:17-18 “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen” And yes, Jesus was with him and strengthened him, but that didn’t change his need for people to be with him. That’s why just below our passage, Paul repeats his request: SLIDE_____________________) 2 Timothy 4:21 “Do your best to come before winter.” Paul had started the letter saying, SLIDE____________________) 2 Timothy 1:4 “Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.” They were close friends, so much so that the last thing he remembers when they split company was Timothy’s tears. Now, he needs his friend more than ever. So, he says, 4 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 SLIDE______________________) 2 Timothy 4:9 “Do your best to come to me quickly” and SLIDE______________________) 2 Timothy 4:21 “Do your best to come before winter.” Timothy was at the time in Ephesus, about 1000 miles away from Rome, and long journeys back then took a while. But Paul knew that Timothy would do whatever it took to make it happen. As he says, SLIDE______________________) 2 Timothy 4:13 “When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments.” Timothy was a “when you come” kind of friend, not an “if you come” kind of friend. Do you have friends like that? People who will drop everything to show up, no matter how hard it is to show up? My brother is very sick and right now unresponsive, and my sister in law, Becky is caring for him constantly. She is so focused on him that she hasn’t been communicating with her friends who want to be there for her, so one of them drove from San Antonio to Birmingham, without letting Becky know, and just showed up at her door—basically saying, “I’m here, and feel free to ignore me if you need to stay focused. But I’m here as long as you need me to be here.” That’s a friend. We all know how easy it is for friends to show up when times are good, but a true friend is there when times are not good and being there is not easy. Proverbs 17:17 says, SLIDE___________________________) Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." 5 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 A genuine friend is in your corner when you're cornered. A real friend walks in when everybody else walks out. A brother is born for adversity. Like one person said, real friends are like toothpaste -- they come through in a tight squeeze, when the pressure's on. How do you find that kind of friend? You don’t find them you build them over time. That’s one of the main reasons getting in a small group is so important. The first question I ask when I hear that a Chase Oaker is going through some kind of tragic circumstance is, “Are they in a group?” I know if they are in a group at Chase Oaks, that group is going to be there for that person. But when I hear back, “No, they aren’t,” something inside me just sinks. We will do what we can to be there, but it’s not the same as trusted friends. You need to take that step to cultivate those kinds of friends. But the best way to find that kind of a friend is to be that kind of a friend. That’s what we are called to do, to be there for people when being there is hard. Paul does share earlier in 2 Timothy about one more friend who showed up, after the grand jury trial, but he showed up as soon as he could: What did Onesiphorus do that meant so much to Paul? He showed up. It’s not like Onesiphorus came and broke Paul out of prison and took him on a golf trip to Pebble Beach. There is nothing Onesiphorus, or Timothy, or anyone else could do to change Paul’s circumstances. Paul was in a Roman dungeon awaiting a trial that would end up with him being executed. Paul wasn’t asking Timothy to solve anything. He was asking him to show up. It’s similar to another time in Paul’s life he talks about in 2 Corinthians: SLIDE________________________) 2 Corinthians 7:5-6 “For when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus.” How did God strengthen Paul so much? He didn’t change his circumstances. He did however send Titus. And what did Titus do? He didn’t solve the problem, because he couldn’t. But he did what he could do. He showed up. And that showing up gave Paul the strength he needed to get through the circumstance. 6 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 As I think back in life, I am so thankful for people who showed up like that. Years ago, when Collin was in 3rd grade I think, he was at a church camp and got seriously injured. He and his buddies had a bright idea to drag a picnic table underneath a basketball hoop so that they could jump on the chair, then the table, and do a slam dunk. Collin was the first to go, and it was great on the way up, but he didn’t think too much about the way down. He landed on his head on the concrete slab underneath the rim. So, I get a call from a hospital in remote East Texas that said, “We are careflighting your son to Children’s Hospital in Dallas, because we don’t have what we need to care for him here. All I can tell you right now is that he fractured his skull, has a brain bleed, and swelling in the brain.” I had a lot more questions, but they had no answers. Christy was teaching swim lessons, and I got here out of the pool, and we rushed down to Children’s. That wait for the care flight was so scary long. But I’ll never forget two people walking in the waiting room and what that meant to us. Mike and Sharon Cornwall, who were elders at the time and are still Chase Oakers, came and sat with us and prayed with us. Did they fix anything? Of course not. They couldn’t do that. But they could be there, and they chose to drop everything and do so. I can’t tell you how strengthening that was. When Collin did arrive, all strapped on the immobilizer, you know what his first words to me were? “Dad, I made the basket!” I was like, “Oh, totally worth it then.” Gotta love that, and he did recover in time. But the Cornwalls showed to us the power of just showing up. As a pastor I’ve been in lots of situations with families that are hard, and sometimes it is really awkward because I want to do more than just show up. It does feel a little like hearing the baseball crowd shout, “Good eye!” when I didn’t swing at a ball. I want to do more than just show up. I want to fix it. I want to make it all better. I want to say the perfect thing that will take the sting away or the fear away. That’s part of the awkwardness of showing up, right? You don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to say, you wonder if you are just going to be in the way. My experience has been that if you are a good friend and you wondering if you should show up, you probably should. And when you do, don’t stress out too much about what to say or what to do. Nobody expects you to say the perfect thing or to solve and unsolvable problem. You show up, and do what you can. What can you do? How about these 3 P’s: Presence, Prayer, Practical Help. You can’t probably solve the problem, but you can be present. You can pray. And you can offer practical help. Paul asks Timothy to bring his winter cloak, this thick wool pancho kind of thing that people had for cold and wet weather, that Paul would need in a cold dungeon as winter was approaching. He asks for his books too, because he still had work to do. Don’t underestimate the importance of practical help. Take care of the kids, bring meals, clean their house, do whatever you can do. 7 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 And if you go and things are crazy and you are in the way, that’s okay. Slip out. You still showed up, and you did what you could. SLIDE_____________________________) Presence Prayer Practical Help The 3 P’s: Presence, Prayer, Practical Help. I’m kind of proud that! But more important than coming up with the 3 p’s for a sermon is to go do them for a friend who is in hard circumstances. The choice to be there when being there is hard is not easy, but a beautiful choice—the kind of choice a true friend makes. Let me encourage you to be that kind of friend. Do you have someone in your life right now who is in a hard time, and you’ve been wondering what to do? Try the 3 P’s. Show up. It’s harder right now in a pandemic but get creative and figure it out. Others of you might be in such a time, and you feel like Paul was feeling when he writes to Timothy. He felt so alone. But let’s learn two things from Paul on that. First, he reaches out to Timothy. He writes the letter and lets him know, “If you can make it, I need you here.” He lets his friend know, doesn’t leave him guessing. And second, he leans on the presence of God with him, as he said, SLIDE________________________) 2 Timothy 4:17 “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength…” With what you are going through, God wants to be with you. If you haven’t begun a relationship with him yet, he is not the hold up. He sent Jesus to make that possible, to die on the cross to pay the just penalty of our sin so that we would not have to. He came to make it possible for us to be reconciled to God and for him to be with us and in us always. He is ready to come, but he leaves that up to us. We can say yes or no to what he offers freely—a forever relationship with him. When you say yes, he makes a promise, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He will be with us always, including our darkest times, and not just to be there but to strengthen us and to comfort to help us get through what we are going through. Maybe you already have a relationship with God, but you still feel so alone in your 8 The Secret Sauce Week 3 August 21/23, 2020 trial. Let’s go to God together and pray that God will fill you with a sense of his presence, because you are not alone. You are never alone. He is with you, and he is for you. Let’s pray together. he 3 P’s: Presence, Prayer, Practical Help are just the few ways you can be there for others. But more important than coming up with the 3 p’s for a sermon is to go do them for a friend who is in hard circumstances. The choice to be there when being there is hard is not easy, but a beautiful choice—the kind of choice a true friend makes. www.chaseoaks.org .