The Gospel and Singleness

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1 Corinthians 7

Kraft Singles. I'm sorry to start on such a divisive topic this morning. I have very strong feelings about Kraft Singles. I don't know how you feel about them. You might love them.

I'm just gonna say they feel unnatural to me. Not real. I mean, like, they say they're cheese, but are they really cheese Craft singles. You don't go to somebody's a fancy dinner party and they bring out a charcuterie board with the, you know, the dried meats and the olives and then the cheeses. And so the Gouda is over here, the Brie, and then the American single from Kraft recommend you pair it with the Malbec from Argentina.

It's unnatural. Now, I say that because I think for many of us, our default position on singleness singles is similar. It feels incomplete, unnatural, not real. The church messages, even at times, this expectation, when will marriage happen? When will this thing that will complete you happen?

When will this milestone in life occur for you? It's not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches clearly that singleness is natural. You're single, you're real, not waiting for realness. You're not waiting for completion.

You are natural. You are exactly where God has purposed you to be right now. Been walking through this sermon series in 1 Corinthians called Good News for the Real World. And we're going to be in 1 Corinthians 7 for two weeks this week. Paul deals with singleness and marriage throughout 1 Corinthians 7.

And so we're going to go through the passage once talking about his invitation, his calling for singles, a promise of hope for you, realness for you.

And then next week, we'll navigate through Paul words for those who are married. And as we do so, I hope those who are married have ears to hear today, and those who are single have ears to hear next week as we hear these invitations from Paul. So let's pick up in First Corinthians 7, starting in verse 7, where Paul says, I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one from one kind and one of another. So we learn here, Paul is single. Now, we don't know the background of that.

As a former Jewish rabbi, it's highly likely it would be very unusual if Paul wasn't married. For all Jewish men, the expectation was you'd get married and you'd have children, especially if you're a rabbi, especially if you're a rabbi of the rabbis, as Paul was. It's very, very likely Paul was Married. So then you could ask, well, what's up? Why is he single now?

We don't know. We don't know. Maybe he's a widow.

Maybe his wife left him when he came to faith. We don't know. We would be. We would be stepping into a realm that we don't understand. But Paul is single.

And Paul is not just single. Paul sees his singleness as a gift from God, a calling from God in this season of his life. And he says, I wish you were single like me. It's good to be single. And then he concludes with words that I think are often twisted and misunderstood, especially in the church context, where he says this.

But each has one gift. Sorry, Each has his own gift from God, one of one kind, one of another. Speaking of being single or being married, there's this little language that some Christians use of the gift of singleness that comes out of this text. And there's a truth in that, and there's a falsehood in that. The truth is that God does have a gift for you if you're single, of course.

Did you catch what he said? He has a gift for you if you're married, too. God has a gift for us. Can you receive the gift in the season that you're in? What Paul isn't saying here is that there's this special, necessarily internal call.

Now, God might have that on some single people, but he's more talking about, hey, you are given by God. The season that you're in today, can you receive it as a season from God, as a gift from God?

Now, this is a radical teaching. We can't underestimate it. Especially at the time already mentioned, Jewish men were expected to be married and have children. In fact, I want to give you a contemporary. Well, just after the life of Paul, this is what one rabbi said.

This is Rabbi Eleazar. He said this. Any man who has no wife is no proper man. Whoa. It gives you a sense of the flavor of the day and how wild Paul's statement would have been.

And Paul to that says, no, no, your manhood or your womanhood is not completed in marriage. You are fully who God intends you to be, married or single. Don't forget we have a single savior, Jesus. Paul, being single, there's a gift that God has for us in the season in which he has placed us.

I'm married. I was married at 21. So I always feel inadequate as I approach the word of God to bring it to God's people. I especially feel inadequate today. I'm no Expert on singleness.

So here's what I did. I reached out to some godly single people across all ages and stages at New life in their 20s, all the way up to their 80s, every stage in between. And I just wanted to listen this week to hear wisdom from those who are walking this out. I'm going to share those quotes throughout the sermon, and I'll begin with this one. In my singleness, this person said, God asks me, am I enough for you?

And do you trust me? Even when it doesn't look like life is going how you want it, can you wait for God? It's the Christian life, isn't it? A life of waiting. Jesus Christ has come.

He is coming again. And we wait for Him. Now we walk in the fullness of the life he's called us to today. Not the life he's called us to tomorrow, but the life he's called us to today. What does it look like to live faithfully in this day, in this hour, in this season and in every season, God says, do you see me?

Do you see? Hear me. Am I enough for you? I want to offer another quote from another person here at New Life. Until I truly met him, God, in the throne room and realized my fear of living a life alone.

Did I realize that I have abundance in my singleness? I replaced my fear that's still a work in progress with a willingness to give up my idea of what my life should look like instead of what he has for me.

What an invitation to hear from God, to be drawn near to God and to respond to his invitation to us in whatever season we're in. Another quote. In the Christian life, there are no waiting rooms where we wait and get through until the next good season starts. God is behind our seasons. I love that every period of waiting is the season, is the purpose, is the intention of God.

Do you have eyes to see what God is doing in your life today and to receive that? That's what Paul's saying. If you're single, don't look forward, don't anticipate. If you're dating, it's not about getting to that wedding day. It's about receiving, receiving God's gifts for you.

Today I'm going to share a story of two friends. Neither one of them go to new life. One is a friend I grew up with. He was the kid who, like, he was interested in girls before most of us were interested in girls. He was wanting to date.

Before most of us were wanting to date, he was wanting to get married. He wanted to Be a dad. Like all of this was just in him at an early age. He was yearning for that life and so he dated, he sought after relationships and it just. Marriage just didn't happen for him for a long time.

And he kept yearning and trying to find that one. And eventually a marriage happened with a woman where just their sin just blew up, multiplied in their marriage and it just ended poorly. He was divorced not many years after he was married. And then he went back to trying to find if I could just find that one, if I could just find someone who can fulfill these desires in my heart. And over time God kept calling him, kept inviting him and his eyes began to turn less away from his own desires and more to God.

And I've watched him walk out this life of growing contentment in God's purposes for him, deeper relationships in the church, more of a heart of service in the community of God. It's been a wrestle for him, but it's in this beautiful way, it's ongoing. Second story of a friend this is a woman of a church I pastored in New Jersey. She was widowed at an early age and in her widowhood she just stepped straight out of her marriage, straight into community. And she was just a magnet for relationships, especially with women and especially younger women were just drawn to her.

She opened up space in her life, was available, became a mentor to many young women, women and began to nurture and establish just these layers of relationships with peers and mentors in her life. She was in many ways the center of so much of the community God was building there a life lived in peace with the season God had called her to. God calls us to step into the seasons of our life and receive his gift for us in those seasons. Paul continues, Verse 8 says this to the unmarried and the widows. I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self control, they should marry.

For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Another verse that's been much misunderstood in the Christian church. Paul is saying, listen, wherever God has placed you, don't yearn for and place on yourself a mantle that you think is better. If you're single and you think marriage is better, don't just strive for that because you think it's better. If you're married and you think singleness is better, don't strive for that.

God has placed you where he's placed you. If you are in a relationship headed toward marriage, Paul says, then don't cut that off because you think, well, it's going to be more holy for me to be single, receive the gift God has given you. That little latter half of that verse is a verse that's often misunderstood and requires us to you can go back to last Week's sermon in 1 Corinthians 6 where Paul's clear about this. You can fast forward and come back next week as we talk about a similar issue as well. What Paul is not saying is that our sexuality will be fixed in marriage.

What he's saying is that sexuality, that level of physicality and intimacy, is a gift for marriage, to build up marriage. But he says, don't if you take him in the hole. What he's not saying is, hey, if you're struggling with lust, just jump into marriage and your spouse will fix that for you. I said it last week. Probably we'll say it again next week.

It's not true. It's a lie. Wherever God has placed you, he's inviting you to receive the gifts he's given you and steward those unto the sanctification of the Lord. All of you is for the Lord. And Paul offers a very real warning here.

Be careful about allowing yourself to be controlled by your flesh. So walk in pace with the Lord, trusting him.

Quote from another single person in my It's a different one.

Get to the other one. The hardest part for me is being obedient. In the waiting, God is teaching me to trust him with my longing for intimacy. Marriage is not an escape hatch for our sin. God invites us to trust those longings to him, to look to Him.

He has made us to know and be known. He has made us for intimacy. That yearning is meant to draw us to, and it's only in him that we will receive the ultimate fulfillment of our hopes and our longings. Fast forward to 1 Corinthians 7:27. Paul says this Are you bound to a wife?

Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned.

Yet. Those who marry will worldly troubles. And I would spare you that. Paul is just so honest here. He's like, hey, don't try to create a new reality for yourself.

But here is There are realities of the seasons God has given you. They're different. There's different layers of responsibilities. And Paul doesn't pretend that it's not the case. He says, listen, when you get married, you have a relational priority to your husband or your wife.

There's a commitment to that. An attachment to that person that pulls in with it. Worldly troubles. It's real, and it goes forward with children and grandchildren. It just multiplies.

Paul's honest about this. Our daughter, our eldest, just turned 22 yesterday. She's a senior in college. And over the last month or so, it's still her room, but we've been like. We've been refreshing the room.

Did I say that right, honey? Okay, I was clumsy with that the first time.

We're refreshing the room. All right, so Angel's buying, like, new little paintings for the room, new new little wall hangings for the room, and houseplants for the room. All right? The room looks adorable. Looks like my wife.

But as anybody knows, if you buy something, you buy an obligation to that thing, right? We all know this, right? So by purchasing houseplants. Houseplants look cute. You have to water the houseplants, right?

You have to fertilize the houseplants. And now there's a new part of the house that wasn't there before with houseplants in it. And I'm like, oh, these puppies, we'll see how they survive here. See if I can remember them on my watering schedule, right? Like a plant isn't a plant.

A plant comes with an obligation. Every parent in here knows your child begging for that pet is a child begging you for an obligation in your life, right? And Paul says it's the same thing on steroids with marriage. It's real. There's an obligation, an entanglement that you're inviting into your life.

And Paul says there is a gift in living in a season of singleness in which you can step out God's purposes. A quote from somebody here at New Life. In my experience, singleness has opened significant space for me to pursue God's purposes with greater focus and freedom. It's true. There's an ability to discern from the Lord and follow the Lord without a whole other lens of relational responsibilities and step into those in singleness.

And Paul says that that is a gift God has given you if you're single in that season. Paul continues in verse 32, I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord and how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and that's a good thing. Like, he acknowledges, that's a good thing.

And his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you. I don't want to place this on your conscience, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Paul says, God has given you a gift. Receive that gift. Don't miss what God has for you. In this season, like any adult in this room, maybe you can remember being a kid and just couldn't wait to grow up, right? And now you look back, you're like, I don't know, nap time, toys, bedtime stories.

I would sign up for that in a minute. I was chatting with a kid the other day, and he was saying that his birthday was coming. And I'm like, are you excited to get older? He's like, I don't know. I'm going to be paying taxes pretty soon.

His dad's an accountant. I was like, oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Wisdom of the child. But he's true.

He's right. He's right. There is a freedom and a gift. Here's the wild thing in scripture, okay? Marriage is a shade of the ultimate reality.

You, every one of you, were once single, and you will again be single. In fact, taken on the whole as eternal beings. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, transformed into his likeness, and then made to be part of the new heavens and the new earth, the vast majority of your existence will be as a single person. This is what Jesus says. There's a confusion about this with the Sadducees who are asking Jesus this question, pinning him down.

Say, hey, there's this man who marries a woman, and then she dies. And then he marries another woman and she dies. And he marries another woman, she dies. Which of his seven wives will he be husband to in heaven? Jesus is like, no, no, no.

Marriage is not an ultimate reality. Listen to what his response is in Matthew 22. For in the resurrection, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. You see, marriage is a gift of God for us to point to the ultimate marriage, Jesus Christ the bridegroom, coming for us, the people of God, his bride. And when the real comes, the shadow will pass away.

When the real comes, the reflection will disappear. And so if you are single, there's a truth and a reality that you are stepping into and walking into life in a more natural state in which we will ultimately be in drawing the fullness of our needs and desires. Which will be met in Jesus Christ in eternity, in this life and the next. Paul says, don't miss what God has for you in this season. God is inviting you to trust him to be full in what he has for you.

And don't miss his purposes. Another quote from somebody in the congregation. Singleness is not a deficiency, nor is marriage a guarantee of fulfillment. Both are gifts from God, each with their own joys and challenges. My journey has taught me that in singleness God reminds me of his sufficiency.

Wow, that's good. Singleness is not a deficiency. God in singleness reminds us of his sufficiency. Not a deficiency, but a pointer to his sufficiency. What a gift it is to receive and walk in the fullness of what God has for us in marriage and singleness alike.

I want to step into a time of application, longer time of application than normal. Three applications for us. First is identity is in Christ, not in your singleness. Your identity is in Christ, not in your singleness. Christ has called you.

Christ loves you just as you are. You just heard this song. What a powerful statement of truth. God invites us into the fullness of experiencing who we are as his bride. Fast forward to chapter 12.

As his body. We are members of the body of Jesus Christ, the family of God. And God names us, and God calls us, and he says, you are mine. I'm not waiting on this season to change for you to be the fullness of who I've called you to be. You are already mine.

You are already named in Jesus Christ. What a gift it is to receive that word over us. I love this word from somebody in the congregation who said this. Ultimately, whether single or married, our identity and purpose are rooted not in our relationship status, but in our relationship with Christ. We are called to glorify God in whatever season he places us, trusting that he is both sufficient and purposeful in his design.

I love it. God calls you to this season and he calls you to the fullness of who you are. Receive your identity in Him.

First, your identity is in Christ, not your singleness. Second, you are made for intimacy. Single or married. You as a human being, as an image bearer of God, are made for community, are made for intimacy. You're made to know and be known.

Like, yes, in the area of sexual intimacy. That's an area that you have to entrust to Christ for the fulfillment of that ultimate desire in Him. And yet, in every other form, you are made for intimacy. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, you are made for intimacy. I love this little book Pastor named Sam Albury called the seven myths of singleness.

He confronts two of those myths. One is that singleness doesn't mean you have intimacy. He says, no, no, no, it does. You are made for intimacy. Another myth, singleness doesn't mean you have family.

No, no. You are given a family. You are given as a follower of Jesus Christ, invited into his family to follow him and to trust him. Are we invited in singleness and marriage alike to find our ultimate fulfillment in him? Absolutely.

And are we invited in Christ, married or single, to step into the communion of saints, into the body of Christ and give ourselves one to another in relationship? Absolutely. We were made for intimacy. I love one single person reflected on the fact that when she was married, she's a divorcee. When she was married, she said that her sensitivity to others and their emotional state ramped up in her place of singleness.

There was just this radar in her that was like at a whole other level of sensitivity.

Another single person said this being in the secret place with God and reading my Bible are the two most satisfying places in the world for my soul. Because it is in those places I feel intimacy with him, nearness, presence. I never want to leave. God has made you for intimacy with him and with one another. Another person reflects this.

The hardest part of singleness is solitude. There are moments, whether attending a ball game, a concert, a dinner out or even holiday functions where I feel an absence of a companion most deeply. And yet God has invited a new set of friendships in that another person says this. God separated me from harmful, unhealthy and depleting relationships relationships. And he's replaced those relationships with authentic life giving relationships with sisters and brothers in Christ.

I love that.

I want to raise to the Marys in room in the room a challenge as well from a single brother. Although I've heard this from actually multiple singles of inviting singles into the messiness of your life. Listen to this brother. He says this. I will also raise a challenge to the married and parents.

Invite the single friends in your life into your daily activities. You might be busy with soccer practice on Tuesday night when someone asks to hang out. Instead of saying you're busy, go and invite them to hang out at soccer practice. The married friends in my life that invite me into their daily life. We have such a deeper friendship than those who only hang out when they're free.

Life is meant to be lived together. So whether it's a family dinner or a family outing at the park, invite the single friends and bring them along. We crave relationship and having A friend, sorry, a family incorporate you into their daily mundane activities is something special. What an invitation. And I'll say I have been blessed by singles, bold singles, who have inserted and asked such things of us.

What a gift that is. So be bold if you're single. Be open handed if you're married. Invite one another into each other's lives. We are meant for a family of God.

You, your identity is in Christ.

You're made for intimacy. And third, you are made to serve. You've been given gifts for God's people, single and married alike. You have been given gifts. You are made to serve the body of Christ.

And Paul says, if you are single, you have an especial opportunity to step in with those gifts, to build up the body of Christ, to strengthen the people of God. Your gifts are made for the body, for the other person. Let me read this. Singleness has been both a calling and a stewardship, enabling me to live with a concentrated devotion to the work of the Lord. What a gift that is to step in and receive the gifts of this season.

To walk in trust, in step with Jesus Christ, to put your desires in his hand and entrust those desires to him, to be fulfilled in due time in this life or in eternity, and to walk out your calling and your identity in Christ, your call to intimacy and community and your call to serve. I want to close with a a quote that I read earlier. Here's what a sister in Christ. In the Christian life, there are no waiting rooms where we wait and get through until the next good season starts. God is behind our seasons.

God has ordained every season in and out and he gives us his good gifts in those seasons. So let us be a church that steps into the fullness of our single Savior's gift to us. Gift of singleness, gift of marriage, the gift of the family of God. We have the opportunity to close our service reflecting on Christ's invitation for us to receive his body, to step into communion. That's an interesting word, communion.

Not just with God, communion with his family and to walk into that in a real way. So if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, if you're a member of the family of God, we'd invite you to participate in communion today. We have elements down here, up front and in the back. We have gluten free elements in this back corner here. I invite you to come forward and take those elements.

We're gonna take them in a different way today and so hold onto those elements and I'm gonna walk us through a little bit of a special way to navigate our time of communion today. If you're at home, we're grateful that you're joining us. Go ahead and grab those elements, whatever those elements look like for you today. And I just wanna, even just for those who are home, if you're, if you're sick or you're away or you're thinking about attending church. So grateful that you're joining us today.

If church is a hard place for you, I want to invite you to participate and maybe take the risk of joining us in body fashion. God has made us for real relationships and so we would love to have you here with us. Let's prepare our hearts in communion.

Sa I want to set up the time, flipping over a few chapters to 1 Corinthians 11. Don't worry if you haven't gotten it. There will be time for you to grab your elements. Here's Paul's invitation to the church at Corinth of how to step into this time of communion. He's going to tell us to look to Christ.

Then he's going to tell us to examine our own hearts. And then he's going to say to examine the body, the family of God around us. There's a beautiful invitation in this. Is communion a special time between us and Christ? Absolutely.

An intimate time. Is it also a time where we see one another? We examine, we look at the needs around us and care for those around us? Absolutely as well. Here's what Paul says over in First Corinthians 11, starting in verse 28, he says this.

Let a person examine himself then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself.

Paul says, I want you to look to Christ. I want you to reflect on his goodness in your life. Reflect on who he is. Then I want you to look at your own hearts. What are the places in you you have to take ownership of and repent of the way in which you have made this life about yourself.

You've separated yourself off from community. You've lived out singleness in selfishness. You've lived out marriage and selfishness. You've refused to receive the season of waiting that God has. Repent of that.

And then he says, discern the body. Look around you. Look to those who need you, who are needy human beings longing to be known, longing to know and step into those relationships as well. And so here's what I'm going to do. This might take us out of our comfort zone.

A little bit on that night that Jesus, before Jesus died, he broke the bread. Taking that bread, he said, this is my body broken for you. Whenever you eat of it, do so in memory of me. And before you eat, I want to invite us now to come before the Lord with our own needs, our own longings, our own, our own worship, our praise to the one who gave himself his body for our salvation. And then I want us to look to one another and reflect on God's calling in his body toward the body, toward one another, toward caring for each other.

And so I'm going to give you just a little phrase. And I want you to turn, if you're a little less comfortable, maybe just to the person that you came with. If you're a little bit more willing, you can press out and find somebody else around you, maybe you don't even know. And speak a word of encouragement to them. And here's what I want us to speak to one another.

Here's the invitation. Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. One more time. Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. Will you say that after me?

Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. You turn and remind your neighbor. Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. And then when you're done doing that, you can eat. Christ's body was broken so we could be his body.

Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. Christ's body was broken, broken so that we could be his body. Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. Christ's body was broken so that we could be his body. Christ's body broken for us.

Not just for our salvation, but for a people of God to be joined together with all of our yearnings, with all of our hopes, with all of our dreams. And we receive his body. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for dying so that we could be your body. Make us more like your body.

Knit us together in love, in care, in unity. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Then Jesus took the cup.

And taking that cup, he poured out the wine.

And he said, this is the cup of the new covenant. My bloodshed for the forgiveness of all your sins. It's a new covenant, a new promise. Think of that first lamb that was slain, the first blood that was shed, that Passover lamb, shed for a people, for a family, for Israel. And now the new covenant shed to make us his family, to make us his people.

You've heard the saying, blood is thicker than water. There is no thicker blood than the blood of Jesus Christ. That turns strangers into family. And so here's what I want you to say to your neighbor. The blood of Jesus Christ shed to make us his family.

The blood of Jesus Christ shed to make us his family. One more time. The blood of Jesus Christ shed to make us his family. Now will you turn and offer that promise to the neighbor around you? The blood of Jesus Christ shed to make us his family.

Amen. Amen. The blood of Jesus Christ shed to make us his family.

Isn't that beautiful?

There are none. There are none who are alone in Jesus Christ. All are made part of his family through his blood.

Jesus, we thank you.

Thank you for knowing, for seeing, for loving you lived the life of a single man so that you might prepare a place for your bride, the groom. And we await with great anticipation that wedding day. The joy of being yours. The joy of having all of our hopes and our dreams fulfilled in you. Thank you for making us your bride and your family.

In Jesus name we pray. Amen.