When Life Makes No Sense

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STRUGGLE: WHEN LIFE MAKES NO SENSE

Getting Through What You’re Going Through – Part 3

Rick Warren August 17-18, 2013

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Shock – Sorrow – Struggle – Surrender – Sanctification – Service

“Because you (sinned)… all your life you will struggle.” Gen. 3:17 (NLT)

LIFE IS A STRUGGLE

Jacob’s Example

• WE STRUGGLE _________________

Jacob struggled:

with his brother Gen 25:22, Hosea 12:3

with two wives Gen. 30:1-24

with his in-laws Gen. 31:1-2

with his 12 sons Gen. 37-50

• WE STRUGGLE _________________
  

“I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate… No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't…But there is a law at work within me that is at war with my mind.” Romans 7:15-23 (NLT)

• OUR REAL STRUGGLE __________
  

“As a man Jacob struggled with God.” Hosea 12:3b

JACOB’S WRESTLING MATCH

“Jacob sent his family across the Jabbok River but he stayed behind, alone. That night, a Man came and wrestled with him until daybreak. When the Man saw that he wasn’t winning the struggle, he hit Jacob on the hip, and it was thrown out of joint. The Man said, ‘Let me go; daylight is coming.’ Jacob said, ‘I WON'T LET GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME.’ The Man asked ‘What is your name?’ ‘Jacob,’ he replied. The Man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob. You have STRUGGLED WITH GOD and with men, and you have WON; so your name will be ISRAEL.’

Jacob = “deceiver/manipulator” Israel = “struggled with God /Prince with God”

Then God blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.’” Genesis 32:23-30

STRUGGLE: WHEN LIFE MAKES NO SENSE Getting Through What You’re Going Through – Part 3 3 - ii

HOW TO WRESTLE WITH GOD AND GET BLESSED

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Examples: Job – Job 13; 14-25

Heman – Psalm 88

Jeremiah – Jeremiah 12:1-4

“I call to the Lord for help; I plead with him. I bring all my complaints to him; I tell him my troubles. When I’m ready to give up, he knows what I should do.” Psalm 142:1-3 (TEV)

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Examples: Abraham – Genesis 18:22-32

Moses – Exodus 32:9-14

Hezekiah – 1 Kings 19:15-19

David – Psalm 143

Jehoshaphat – 2 Chronicles 20

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“Then Jacob prayed, ‘O God of my grandfather Abraham and my father, Isaac— you toldme to return to my land and to my relatives, and you promised to treat me kindly. I am notworthy of all the faithfulness and unfailing love… but O Lord, please rescue me from mybrother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to kill me… But you promised to treat mekindly and to multiply my descendants…’” Genesis 32:9-12 (NLT)

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“Though he slay me, yet I will trust in him.” Job 13:15

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; and even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; and even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will still rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength!” Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NLT)

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SERMONTRANSCRIPT

Getting Through What You’re Going Through – Part 3

Rick Warren

Hello everybody. I want to say hi to all of our campuses and those who are joining us online.

We’re glad you’re here, and actually all our Saddlebacks overseas now.

We’re in the series called Getting Through What You’re Going Through. And by the way, have

I told you lately that I love you? I love you a lot.

In this series on Getting Through What You’re Going Through we are looking at the six stages

of getting through the major things in life that we face.

We looked first at shock. Then when your world collapses. Then we looked at sorrow, when

you’ve had a major loss. This weekend we’re going to look at struggle, when life doesn’t make sense. Then we’re going to look at surrender, sanctification and service on the back end of Getting Through What You’re Going Through.

Everybody struggles in life. Life is tough; everybody agree with that? Life’s tough. It’s tough

because sin has broken everything in the world. When Adam and Eve sinned, God said this in

Genesis 3:17, “Because you (sinned)… all your life you will struggle.” All your life you will

struggle.

Nobody has to tell you that Bible verse; you know that one by personal experience. Life is a

struggle. And life is a struggle three ways: we struggle with other people; we struggle with

ourselves; and we actually struggle with God.

First, we struggle with other people. That means that every relationship is broken by sin. And

because nothing works perfectly we have competition, we have conflict, we have

misunderstandings. You get disappointed by other people and other people are disappointed in you.

One of the great guys in the Bible, Jacob, is an example of the struggles of life. In fact Jacob’s

entire life was a struggle. I wrote there on your outline, he struggled with his brother, that was

Esau when he stole his birthright and blessing. He struggled with two wives. And by the way, if you ever want to read a case of why there shouldn’t be polygamy go read Genesis 30.

And by the way, let me just explain something. Not everything recorded in the Bible is approved by God. Does that make sense? People say, polygamy’s in the Bible. Slavery’s in the Bible.

Yes, and so is rape and murder. The Bible tells the truth and it tells the truth even about the sins of people. It doesn’t mean God condones it. In fact, God opposed it from the very beginning. God said, you should have one mate for life.

But he had struggles with his wives. He had struggles with his in-laws. They were jealous.

They cheated each other. He had struggles with his twelve sons. Very dysfunctional family

because of favoritism. Mommy liked one and Daddy liked another and the rest kind of got left

off. But there was struggle with other people.

Secondly, we struggle with ourselves. Your biggest battle in life really is not with other people.

Your biggest battle is inside you. You struggle with your fears. You struggle with your flaws.

You struggle with your temptations. You struggle with your insecurities. You struggle with

guilt. You struggle with regret. We struggle with resentment, compulsions, weaknesses, sins,

addictions.

Jacob had this in spades. He was a very insecure person. He struggled with insecurities. He

struggled with manipulating other people. He struggled with his conscience constantly.

Paul in Romans 7 talks about this kind of struggle we have with ourselves. He said: “I don’t

understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the

very thing I hate… No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I

can’t… But there is a law at work within me that is at war with my mind.”

Everybody here can identify with that passage. We often want to do things that we don’t do.

We often don’t do the things that we know are right to do. We struggle not just with other

people; we struggle with ourselves.

But the greatest struggles in life of all are the ones that you and I have with God. We struggle

with God all the time, whether you realize it or not. In fact most of your struggles with other

people and most of the struggles with yourself are rooted in the struggle that you have with God.

Why do we struggle with God? There are really two reasons: one, we doubt his wisdom. And

therefore, two, we want to be in control.

Whenever you doubt God’s wisdom then you want to be God. Because you think you know

better than God does. You think you know what will make you happy more than God does.

When God says, don’t do that, and you think, I think that will make me happy, and you do it

anyway.

Growing up, my kids have never doubted my love. They’ve always known that I loved them.

But often they have doubted my wisdom. “I know Dad loves me. I just don’t think he knows the right thing in this situation.”

For a lot of you you’ve had that with your heavenly Father. You know God loves you. There’s

no doubt in your mind that God loves you. But sometimes you just doubt his wisdom. Why did

he allow that? And why did that happen? And why did he say no to this? And why isn’t this

prayer being answered? And you’re actually doubting God’s wisdom.

Jacob of all people demonstrates struggling with God. In the book of Hosea, chapter 12:3 it says, “As a man Jacob struggled with God.” As a baby he actually struggled with his brothers. In fact, the Bible says when his mother Rachel was pregnant that the two twins Jacob and Esau were fighting inside the womb. That would have been fun for the mom! They fought. But as a man Jacob struggled with God.

And he actually had a wrestling match with God. The only person to ever have this. You talk

about WWF wrestling. This one takes the cake!

In Genesis 32 here’s Jacob’s wrestling match. “Now Jacob sent his family across the Jabbok

River but he stayed behind, alone. That night, a Man came and wrestled with him until

daybreak.”

Let me set this story up. Jacob cheated his brother Esau, his twin brother, out of his blessing,

from the family, and birthright. So he got the inheritance. His brother Esau had intended to kill

him. So Jacob ran away to another part of the country and married his uncle’s daughter Rachel and also married Leah, and lived there for at least fourteen years maybe close to two decades.

After a while God says to Jacob, “Jacob, I want you to go home, back to where you were born.”

And he is regretting, because he knows that his brother wants to kill him.

On the way going back home Jacob and his whole family, they’re very large now. He’s got

servants, he’s got cattle, he’s got sheep, he’s very very wealthy. He hears that his brother Esau is heading toward him with four hundred armed men. This is not a happy family reunion. He’s scared to death. And yet he knows God has told him to go home, to his home country, and yet he knows when he goes back “my brother has said he wants to kill me because I’ve stolen from him.”

So when he gets to the Jabbok River, Jacob sends his family on ahead and he stays behind. He’s splitting it up so his family doesn’t get hurt in this encounter he’s going to have the next day. So Jacob goes to the Jabbok River and he wrestles with God.

Actually in Hebrew this is pun. The word for “Jacob” is “YAY bok” and the word for

“wrestling” is “YAY bek” and the word for the Jabbok River is “YA bok.” So what we’ve got is

YAY bok YAY becked God at Yah bok! Jacob wrestles God at the Jabbok River.

Jacob has been running from God his entire life. And some of you have been too. You’ve been running from God your entire life. God says “Jacob you’re not going to run anymore. We’re going to settle this issue right now. We’re going to have a little wrestling match. We’re going to the mat.” The Bible says that that night while he’s alone on that side of the Jabbok River he meets this man. And the man is clearly an angel or representing God. God shows up and starts wrestling Jacob. It says, “When the Man saw that he wasn’t winning this struggle, he hit Jacob on the hip, and it was thrown out of joint. The Man said, ‘Let me go; daylight is coming.’ And Jacob said, ‘I won’t let go until you bless me.’”

Notice it says the Man says he wasn’t winning the struggle. Have you ever been in a no-win

struggle? Yeah. You may be in one right now. There are some things in your life that are just

not going to change and you’re going to have those problems the rest of your life. You have to manage them. They’re not going to go away. They are lifetime problems. It may be a health

problem. It may be a relational problem. It may be a disability. But there are some problems

that are just never going away in your life. They’re unmanageable and you can’t win in that

situation.

It says here that the Man said he wasn’t winning the struggle. If Jacob is wrestling God, clearly

God could have overcome him instantly. Clearly in this wrestling match between God and

Jacob, it’s kind of a tie. So what is going on here? God could have easily overwhelmed him.

But he let’s this struggle go on.

There’s a very important lesson for you right here. Why? Because God loves it when you

wrestle with him! Some of you are in a struggle right now with God. God loves it when you

struggle with him. Why? Because the opposite of struggling with God is walking away from

God. The opposite of struggling with God is running away, avoiding, saying forget you, God.

God would rather have you fighting him than fleeing him. Does that make sense? So God loves it when we struggle with God. God that’s not right. When we argue with God. God I don’t like that! God says that’s ok. Why? Because wrestling is a face to face encounter. Wrestling is the most intimate sport.

I wrestled in high school. You didn’t want to watch that. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t pretty. The

whole goal of wrestling is to pin a guy down until he goes “Uncle! I give up! You’re in control!”

Wrestling is all about who’s in control. And it’s about as intimate a sport as you can get.

Because you’re locked in that issue. God says I like that. I like it when you wrestle with me,

because at least I’ve got your attention. I love you.

So he’s letting this struggle go on even though he could have just instantly ended it. He’s letting Jacob think he’s winning. But Jacob says I’m not going to let go until you bless me.

The Man, this represents God, asks “What is your name?” That’s a strange question in the

middle of the wrestling match. “‘What’s your name?’ “‘Jacob’ he replied. The man said, ‘You

will no longer be Jacob [because…] You have struggled with God and with men, and you’ve

won; so your name will be Israel.’”

What’s going on here? They’re in this wrestling match. God is wrestling Jacob. Jacob has been a runner. He’s been trying to get away from God his entire life and running from responsibility.

And he says “What’s your name?”

One of the things we know about God is this: Whenever God asks you a question he already

knows the answer. He wants you to know the answer. God knew what Jacob’s name was. God had never missed a day of Jacob’s life. God created Jacob. But what he wants Jacob to do is admit who he is. Because in those days names meant something. You were named for your character. It was your brand. It was your label. Jacob literally means deceiver. It means

supplanter. It means manipulator.

Jacob had gone his entire life manipulating everybody. Trying to get things to go his way.

Trying to control everything. Tying to control his brother. Trying to control his family. Trying

to control his uncle. Trying to control his wives. Trying to control his children. Jacob was a

manipulator. When God says to Jacob “What’s your name?” He’s saying, “Jacob do you realize you’re the problem. The reason we’re in this struggle is you. Because you won’t give up. You still keep trying to control everything in your life and you’re making a mess of everything in your life because you’re trying to control it. And that’s why you’re struggling.”

And Jacob says, “My name is deceiver. My name is manipulator.”

I just wonder if every one of us, if our name was our primary sin – what would your name be?

Hmmmmm?

Hi! What’s your name? Greedy. Really, well I’m lustful. Glad to meet you. What’s your name?

Gossip. What’s your name? Insecure manipulator. That would be Jacob. If you had to be

named for your number-one sin and everywhere you went in life. What’s your name? Lazy.

This is exactly what’s going on here. He’s asking Jacob to admit his biggest fault.

The thing I like about Jacob is this: Jacob is willing to struggle. He doesn’t run away from God.

He hangs in there. He doesn’t walk away from God. He knows what he wants. He goes, I want

to be blessed. “I’m not going to let go until you bless me, God.”

Have you ever said that to God? Have you ever said that to God? “God, I’m not going to let go

until you bless me. I’m going to struggle with you until you bless me.” He is persistent and he

knows what he wants. And he even admits that he’s the problem. I’m Jacob. I’m a manipulator.

I’m a deceiver. I’m a control freak. I’ve tried to control everything in life and it’s caused

conflict with everybody in my life. Parents, family, friends, daughters, husbands, everybody.

God says, “You’ve struggled with [me well in this] and you’ve won.” I want you to circle that

on your outline. You have won. We’re going to come back to how to win an argument with

God, in just a minute. “You’ve struggled with God… and you have won…”

God has never said that about anybody else, and there are some important lessons to learn here.

He says “So your name will be Israel.” This is the man who the Israel nation is named after –

the Jews. He’s given a new identity.

By the way, do you know what Israel means? It has two meanings. Israel means, one, “struggles with God.” That’s what Israel means: struggles with God. If you know the history of Israel, they have struggled with God for a millennia. Struggles with God.

But it also has a secondary meaning. It means a “Prince with God.” You’re now a prince with

God. God says to Jacob, you used to be a manipulator but now you’re going to be a prince. You used to be a deceiver but now you’re going to be a leader.

This whole struggle with God changes his identity. Why is that important? Because when God

wants to work in you, God does his deepest work in your life in your identity. When he can

change the way you see yourself, it changes you. Anything you want to change in your life, it

starts with change in perspective. Until God changes the way you see yourself, nothing much is going to happen in your life. You’re going to struggle the rest of your life.

If I were to ask you, fill in this sentence ten times: “It’s just like me to be…” How would you

finish that sentence? It’s just like me to always be late… it’s just like me to be insecure… it’s

just like me to get angry at the spur of the moment… it’s just like me to feel inferior to

everybody else… it’s just like me to run off at the mouth… You’re telling me what your identity

is. If you’re going to get through this struggle with God, God’s going to have to change your

identity from Jacob to Israel. From whatever your sin is to Prince or Princess of God.

As a result of this wrestling match it says, “Then God blessed him there. So Jacob called the

place Peniel, saying, ‘It’s because I saw God face to face and yet my life was spared.’”

This is a very important story in the Bible because it teaches us how to wrestle with God and

win. I think you need to know this one. Because you’re going to go through struggles all

through your life. How do you get through the struggles in life and win? How do you get

through the struggles in life and have victory?

Since you’re going to go through struggles all of your life you may as well get something out of it. Since the struggles that you have with other people and the struggles that you have with

yourself are at their deepest level a struggle with God, you need to know how to wrestle with

God. How to wrestle with God and be blessed. How to wrestle with God and win.

The Bible tells us that every one of the stories in Scripture are there to teach us about how to

have a better relationship with God. This is no exception to the rule. So let’s look at how do I

go through struggles in my life, particularly when I’m struggling with God. When I’m angry

with God, when I’m mad at God, when I’m disappointed with God, when I think God has let me

down, when I’ve prayed and haven’t got an answer. That’s called a struggle, friends.

I’ve gone through that struggle for years with a son who was mentally ill and then took his life. I prayed for that healing every single day of my life. It was a struggle in my life. How do I deal

with that? What should be my response to God who did not answer that prayer?

You need to understand that the only reason you can wrestle with God is, as I said, because God loves it and God loves you. God is not an apathetic God who just sets the world in motion and doesn’t care about how you feel. He cares deeply about how you feel. And he loves you and he cares about you and he’s sympathetic, he’s not apathetic and he’s not detached. In fact, the Bible says this, on the screen,1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your cares on him for he cares for you.” What word is used twice in that verse? Cares. Cast all your cares – that’s worries – on him because he cares for you. God is a caring God. If God didn’t care about you, you couldn’t wrestle with him. You couldn’t struggle with him. You couldn’t argue with him. The very fact that God allows you to argue with him, and it’s all through the Bible, examples of this, is because God cares. Because God loves you.

Last week, I mentioned to you that the Bible talks about a kind of prayer called a lament. Most

people don’t now how to lament. A lament is a passionate complaint to God. God doesn’t want you just to praise him. God wants you to lament to him. God doesn’t want you just to confess to him. God wants you to complain to him. It’s an act of worship when you complain to God. It’s an act of rebellion when you complain about God.

I covered this a little bit last week and said that the Bible is full of laments. In fact there’s a

entire book called Lamentations. The whole book is basically just Jeremiah complaining to God about why life sucks. That’s what it’s all about. A lot of people, if you start reading through the Psalms, there are a hundred fifty Psalms. They’re not all praise and thanksgiving. In fact, sixtyfive of them are laments. They are complaints to God.

This last week I went through and I did an intensive study of all of the laments of the Bible. I

discovered there’s a pattern. Whether it’s David or Abraham or Jeremiah or Moses or Elijah or

Isaiah or anybody else, and they’re complaining to God, there is a pattern that you see in every one of them. This pattern is the pattern you use to successfully argue with God.

Are you ready for this? You need this. This is a form of prayer. To help you remember it, I

want you to remember how much God cares about me, I put it in a little acrostic – CARE.

Here’s the pattern then we’ll look at it. This is the pattern of lament in the Bible.

C – The C stands for Complain.

So If I’m going to have a lament prayer, I don’t like what’s going on in my life and I want to

complain about it, I want to lament about it, the first thing I do is I complain.

You’ll find that in many of the laments of the Bible, the complaints are usually in the form of

question. God, why are you allowing this? God, why don’t you do something? God, when are

you going to answer my prayer? How long, God is this going to take? What in the world are

you doing while our people are falling apart?

The complaints often take the form of a question. That’s the first thing. The second, the A in

care stands for…

A – Appeal.

The second thing I do is I appeal to God’s nature. I’ll explain this in a minute. I appeal to God’s

character and who he is. His attributes, the character, the nature of God.

R – Remind.

I complain, I appeal, I remind – this is the third in the pattern. I remind God of his promises. I

remind God of his truth. I remind God of what he said. I remind God of his reputation.

E – I Express trust in God’s wisdom and the things I don’t understand.

I express trust. No matter who it is in the Bible, when they are complaining, when they are

lamenting to God, they follow this pattern. I could take you to Proverbs and Psalms and prayers all through Scripture. Complaining, appealing, reminding, expressing.

So let’s look at how you could do it. Here’s how you do it.

Number one, when I don’t like what’s going on in my life, when I’m in a struggle with God,

when my prayers aren’t being answered the first thing I do is this, Tell God what I think is unfair or painful.

I tell God what I think is unfair or painful.

This is the start of a lament. I’m going to teach you a

form of praying that most Christians have no idea how to do. They only know how to do praise

and thanksgiving. But this is how you argue with God. You tell God what you think is unfair or

painful.

Remember I said last week that a lament is actually a complaint. In fact, sometimes when you

read them in Psalms, it almost feels like a demand. Do something God! Do something!

I’ve given you some examples that you can study on your own. I’m going to read you a few out of the Bible. Listen to this one, from Job 13:14-25, “I’ve lost all hope, so what if God kills me? I’m going to state my case to him… Listen to my words, God, of explanation. I’m ready to state my case, because I know I’m right. Are you coming to accuse me, God? Speak first, O God, and I’ll answer. Or let me speak, and you answer me. What are my sins? What wrongs have I done? What crimes am I charged with? Why do you avoid me? Why do you treat me like an enemy? Are you trying to frighten me? I’m nothing but a leaf; you’re attacking [me like] a piece of dry straw.” That’s a lament.

I doubt you’ve ever talked to God that way. But it’s in the Bible. And that’s called a prayer of

lament. Let me give you a couple of others.

Here’s David, Psalm 13:1-5, “How long, Lord, will you forget me? Forever? How long will you

look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with the sorrow in my

heart everyday? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, my

God!… I trust in your unfailing love.”

See what a rapid change there is at the end? Just follow the pattern I just gave you.

Here’s Jeremiah 12:1-4, “Lord, if I argued my case with you, you’d prove to be right. Yet still I

must question you about matters of justice. Why are the wicked so prosperous? Who do

dishonest people succeed?… They don’t really care about you. But, Lord, you know me; You see what I do and you know how I love you… How long will our land be dry? Animals and birds

are dying because of the wickedness of our people, who think you don’t really see what we’re

doing.”

Hear the complaint in his voice? That’s an act of worship. Complaining about God is rebellion.

Complaining to God is an act of worship.

Here’s one named Heman, Psalm 88:3-18, “My life is full of troubles, and I’m nearly dead. [This

is a prayer to God.] I’m like a man with no strength… You’ve taken my friends away from me and made them hate me… My eyes are weak from crying. Lord, I’ve prayed to you every day… I’ve called you for help; Lord, why do you reject me? Why do you hide from me?… I’ve been weak and dying since I was young. You’ve taken away my loved ones and friends. Darkness is my only friend.”

Let me just give you one more. A guy name Jehoshaphat, nicked named Fatty for short, I’m

sure. 2 Chronicles 20:6-12. He’s the king of Israel and three enemy armies decided to gang up

against Israel. They’re going to be overwhelmed. They’re going to be killed. And here’s what

Jehoshaphat does. “O Lord, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the

kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hands and no one can withstand you. O

our God, did you not… give us this land forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?

Now three nations are trying to drive us out. O our God, will you not judge them? We don’t

have any power to face this vast army that’s attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our

eyes are upon you.”

Those three questions. God, are you not? God, did you not? And, God, will you not? He is

talking about the pattern I’m giving you right now. He’s appealing to the character of God. He’s reminding God of his promises. And he’s asking God to do it again.

That’s how you do a lament.

So the first thing I do is I tell God what I think is unfair or painful.

Let me give you an example. Psalm 142 David says, “I call to the Lord for help; I plead with

him. I bring all my complaints to him; I tell him my troubles. When I’m ready to give up, he

knows what I should do.”

In a lament, the tone can be very different. You can lament out of anger like some of these I just read. You can lament out of frustration. You can lament out of fatigue. God, I am so tired.

And I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. You can lament out of anger. You can lament

out of disappointment. You can lament out of fear. I’m scared to death God, help me. I don’t

know what’s going to happen this week and I’m scared to death. Help.

Let me just ask you a very personal question. What are you tired of tolerating in your life?

Whatever that is, you’re tired of tolerating it, you’ve been putting up with it. You need to turn

that into a lament. You need to tell God what you think is unfair and what you think is painful.

Here is the key. And you’ve got to get this or it won’t work. There are two keys to praying like

I’m talking about right now when you’re struggling with God.

One of them is you complain to God not about God. Not against God. When Moses

complained to God, God answered. When the children of Israel complained, they got stuck in

the desert. So there’s a right way and a wrong way to complain to God.

What’s the right way? You do it in faith. You complain in faith. In other words, I believe God

you’re going to hear me on this. You’re going to hear me. You’re going to listen. God, I

believe you can help. The Bible says, “Without faith it’s impossible to please God.” The Bible

says, “Whatever is not of faith is sin.” So even in your complaints you have to do it in faith.

God, I know you can accept this because you’re a big God. And God I’m going to complain but I’m complaining to you in faith.

Here’s an example. Psalms 55:17 David says, “Evening and morning and at noon I utter my

complaint and moan, [He says I’m doing it three times a day I’m complaining to God three times a day.] and he hears my voice!” That is complaining in faith. That’s lamenting in faith. I tell God what I think is unfair or painful in my life.

Here’s the second thing you do if you want to struggle with God and win. Struggle with God

and be blessed the way Jacob was.

I appeal to God’s nature.

That’s the A in CARE. I appeal to God’s nature. When you read the Psalms you read David and

other people complaining to God and at the same time saying, but you’re a good God and you’re a loving God and God, you’re kind and God, you’re fair. I don’t like what’s going on but God, you see everything. This isn’t good for me but God you’re all powerful. So then help me!

He appeals to God’s nature. God loves it when you do this. When you say, God you know I’m

out of work. God, you know I’m infertile. God, you know I want to get married. God you know

… and then you say, and I know who you are God. I know you’re a good God. And I know you

love me. And I know you’re a just God. And I know you’re fair. And I know you see

everything in my life. And I know you’re all powerful. You appeal to the character of God.

That’s a strong key to doing this.

Abraham was arguing with God over Sodom and Gomorrah. He appealed to God. God, you’re a fair God. Moses complains to God and he appeals to God’s nature. David does it, Hezekiah

does it. What a lot of these guys are doing is saying, God I look out and I see everything that’s

going on and nothing is really working right. Nothing is working right in my nation, nothing is

working right in my family, nothing is working right in my job. And God, when I read the Bible

and I hear about you’re good and you’re loving and you’re powerful. Help me with this. Help

me. What’s happening to me doesn’t sound like something that you would approve of. Are you not the great God? Did you not help people in the past? Will you not help me? The same things Jehoshaphat said. I appeal to God’s nature.

The third thing you do if you want to win the struggle…

I remind God of what he said.

I remind God of what he has said in his Word. I remind him of his promises. God absolutely

loves to be reminded of his promises.

When my kids were little and they said, “Daddy, would you take us to Disneyland?” Sure I will.

I always say yes to everything. Then I’d never get around to doing it. “But Daddy you

promised! Daddy you promised.” You think I’m going to turn that down? No way, Jose!

Because I made a promise. I’m going to keep a promise because I’m a loving father. I may not

have the time to do it. I may not want to do it. I may be stinking sick of going to Disneyland.

But we’re doing it because “you promised.”

You can do that with your heavenly Father. You remind God of what he said: “God you said…”

Several times in the book of Jeremiah, Jeremiah goes God, you’ve promised to do this, and

you’ve promised to do this, and you’ve promised to do this; and if you don’t do this, you’re

going to look bad. He is appealing to God’s reputation. That’s not just Jeremiah. I could give

you dozens of examples that say, God if you don’t help us in this God, it’s really going to look

bad on your resume. People are going to start saying, “That God is no God. He doesn’t help his people.” They would appeal to God’s promises. They would appeal. They would remind God of what he had said.

This is exactly what Jacob did. He’s scared to death to go back home, to have his family reunion with his brother who wants to kill him. Would you be scared? You’ve cheated your brother and he’s coming with four hundred armed soldiers? Yeah. He’s scared to death.

Have you ever feared a family reunion? Probably not like that.

Notice the prayer that Jacob prays. Genesis 32, he reminds God of what he’s said. He said, you’re the one who told me to go home. So you’ve got to help me God. “Then Jacob prayed,’

O Lord of my grandfather Abraham and my father, Isaac,’ [Why is he doing this? You helped

these people in the past. Surely you will help me. He says] God of my grandfather Abraham

and the God of my father, Isaac–…you told me [circle “you told me”] to return to my land and to my relatives, and you promised [circle that] to treat me kindly. I’m not worthy of the faithfulness and unfailing love… that you give me but O, Lord, please rescue me from my brother, Esau. I’m afraid that he’s coming to kill me… But you promised to treat me kindly and to multiply my descendants…” In other words how am I going to have multiple descendants and be the father of a great nation if he kills me? It isn’t going to happen.

See the CARE here? I complain. I appeal. I remind God of what he said, and then the fourth

thing I do in my lament.

I express my total trust in God.

When you see David’s Psalms, David, almost every Psalm ends with no matter how much he’s

railed on God he goes, but I’m still going to trust you. God, I don’t like this and I don’t like that

and that didn’t turn out the way I wanted and that hasn’t happened right, and my life really hasn’t been a bed of roses, but I’m still going to trust you. I express my total trust in God.

This is what you end your prayer with. Say, Lord, I trust your goodness and I trust your wisdom

and I trust your love and I trust your plan even in the bad things that happen that I don’t

understand.

Let me give you two examples: Job 13:15. You know what happened in Job. He lost it all.

“Even though he [talking about God] slay me, yet I will trust in him.” He said, you know what?

I don’t have it all figured out. My brain isn’t big enough to know why everything happens the

way it does. But even if God kills me I’m still going to trust him. Why? Because I know I’m

going to heaven. So even if he lets the cancer take my life, even if he lets me get hit in a car

accident, I’m still going to trust him. Why? Because he is God and I’m not.

I express my total trust in God.

The ultimate example of this is Habakkuk 3:17-19, “Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; and even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; and even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, [they’re in a terrible drought, a terrible depression] yet I will still rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength!”

Now you listen to me, very closely. The way you win a fight with God is by surrendering.

Because there’s no way you’re going to win it on your own power. The way you win a struggle

with God is by surrendering. We’re going to talk about that next week. I surrender all my

unanswered questions and in return I get the blessing of God on my life. And I sense his

presence. And I feel his love. And I know he cares; and I depend on him. And he gives me

comfort and he gives me power that I don’t have on my own.

The only way you’re going to win in the struggle of life is give up control. The most dangerous

disease you could have is the illusion that you’re in control. You’re not. As long as you think

you are, you’re going to have one struggle after another. You’re not in control of your marriage. You’re not in control of your kids. You’re not in control of the weather. You’re not in control of the economy. You’re not even in control of what kind of disease you get in your life. The greatest things in your life are out of your control.

So what do I do about the stuff that’s out of control? I give them to the person who does have

the power to control. God, you’re in control and I know you care. And because you care I’m

going to complain and I’m going to appeal and I’m going to remind you of your promises and

I’m going to expect and entrust and I’m going to express my trust in you. And I’m going to

declare my declaration of dependence.

The last of the story, the story of Jacob, ends in verse 31 of Genesis 32. It says this, “So the sun rose [this is after this big wrestling match] as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.”

Do you remember when they were in that wrestling match, it says God reached over and touched his hip and pulled it out of the socket.

What is the significance? What is the symbolism in that? Your hip, your thigh muscle is the

strongest muscle in your body. It’s the biggest muscle and it’s the strongest muscle in your

body. God is going to touch you at the place of your greatest strength. So you’re going to limp

the rest of your life as a reminder to depend on him, not your own strength.

Jacob had a history of running. He ran from responsibility. He ran from the messes he made.

He ran from the struggles he created. He ran, ran, ran. He constantly ran. God said, We’ll fix

that! You’re going to limp the rest of your life. No more running for Jacob.

What have you been running from your entire life? You see, after you’ve wrestled with God he

blesses you. But he gives you the reminder to depend on him the rest of your life, and you’re

going to walk with a limp the rest of your life. All of God’s giants walk with a limp. Let’s bow

our heads.

Prayer:

Before I pray let me ask you to consider some questions. In what areas are you struggling

with God? Are you struggling with God about your finances? Are you struggling with God

about your health? Are you struggling with God about an unrealized dream, an unanswered

prayer? Are you struggling with God about something that hasn’t turned out the way you

wanted it to turn out?

Question number two – where have you been afraid to give up control? You say, it isn’t

working. I’ve been trying to manipulate it. I’ve been trying to make it happen. I’ve tried to

plan it, program it, work around it, scheme, it isn’t working. I’m going to give up control to

God.

Question number three – where have you doubted God’s wisdom? You thought, I know you

love me Lord but is this really the right thing? Did you really say, No sex outside of

marriage? And you’ve doubted God’s wisdom. Did you really say…and you name your

sin. Where do you need to admit what you really are? What do you need to admit about

yourself? When you can say to God, God I am Jacob. I am a manipulator. God, I am a

control nut. I am a perfectionist. I am lazy. Then God can turn a Jacob into an Israel, into a

prince of God, a princess of God.

Follow me in this prayer as we close. I want you to pray it no matter what campus you’re in

or if you’re watching online or in a small group or by yourself. Say Dear God, you know all

the things I struggle with – my fears, my weakness, my relationships. You know the regrets

I struggle with. You know my addictions and compulsions and my temptations. God, today

I’ve realized that all my other struggles are really rooted in my struggle with you. I have

doubted your wisdom. And I have tried to play God. Like Jacob I have tried to manipulate

things to feel more secure. I realize that your blessing comes not from trying harder but in

surrendering the things that I don’t understand and in surrendering the things that I can’t

control to you. Thank you that you are a good God. Teach me how to pray the prayer of

lament. I thank you God that you care. You said cast your cares on you, for you care for

me. So today, Jesus Christ, I give myself one hundred percent to you – the good, the bad,

the ugly, the disappointments, the shocks, the sorrows, the highs and the lows, the good and

the bad. I give myself completely to you, Jesus Christ. I want you to be the Lord, the

manager of every area of my life. I want to live for you from this day forward. I want to

trust you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.