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Many hurting people coming to the church for help are dealing with an unchangeable issue in their family system which is constant and painful and creates a stress level that is difficult to manage. Biblical guidelines show us how to help a person cope with circumstances that will not change. 1. Acknowledge only God can change another person. 2. Be accountable to God for how you respond to others. 3. Concentrate on what you can change. 4. Pray specifically and in accordance with Scripture. 5. Develop a strong inner life of devotion. 6. Accept things as they are. 7. Acknowledge suffering isn’t bad; it just hurts. 8. Stay connected to a Christian support system. 9. Maintain self-control. 10. Avoid “if only” thinking. 11. Be assertive and focused in applying your strategy. Victorious living in the midst of trying circumstances can be a spiritual reality for all Christians. Dr. Steven L. Dowdle, “Helping the Hurting in Your Church” p. 200.

We forget. In the middle of our own agendas, we forget. Consumed by the incessantly shifting tides of the culture, we forget. Caught up in the ever-changing maze of politically correct ideologies, we forget. With bills looming and jobs teetering and marriages faltering, we forget. With value systems crumbling and leadership charting a course to places dark and foreboding, we forget. With crime rising and hope dwindling and common sense disappearing, we forget. We forget. When we fix our eyes upon the world around us, we will forget. When we vest our hope in man-made institutions and root the entirety of our confidence in the strategies of men, we will forget. When we invest our lives in hoarding material wealth and exhaust our resources in the pursuit of successes that catch the eyes and admiration of those around us, we will forget. Oh yes, we will forget. We forget. When we demand our own way we become wayward. When we are swept up by the greed of our own minds we will be swept away by that very same greed. When we lay claim to life as ours and ours alone, we lay claim to the foundations of our own demise. When we resolutely state that we are the captains of our own ships and we flamboyantly declare that we need no other captain, we have set sail for rocky shoals and certain disaster. We forget. We forget. When we declare that there is no God, we declare that the unparalleled ability to ponder something as vast as God, as well as our equally profound ability to reject something that magnificent is nothing more than an outgrowth of evolution. And if we forget something as great as God, we are well on our way to forgetting all other such things marvelous and magnificent for none are greater than Him. We forget. Oh yes, we will forget to our own detriment. And in time, we will forget that we forgot. We will forget that there was anything to forget in the first place. And in the forgetting, we will take all of the marvelous things in life and we will slowly and methodically lose them. In the tragedy of losing them, we will distill our lives down to the rancid mediocrity of human beings who forgot everything they should have remembered. We will forget because we don’t care. We will forget because we don’t make time to remember. We will forget because it was more convenient and less demanding to forget. We will forget because we foolishly deemed other small and miniscule things as greater than truly great things. We will forget out of carelessness and will forget because of selfishness. We forget. Oh yes, we will forget and we will be the poorer for it. Christmas is God Refusing to Forget Yet, the beauty of Christmas is that God didn’t forget. Not now. Not ever. Despite man’s incessant proclivity to forget God, God never forgot. Despite man’s demands for a faith that excluded God, God never forgot. In light of man’s arrogance and the relentless insults hurled at God by both the actions and attitudes of men, God never forgot. Even though mankind has outright rejected God and cast Him into the realm of fairytales, myth and places of cultural irrelevance, God still never forgot nor does He forget. And when man declared himself as God and attempted to usurp God, entirely expunging Him from every conceivable area of life . . . even then God did not forget. Not now. Not ever. Christmas is God remembering. Christmas is God’s refusal to forget. Christmas is God’s declaration that He will never forget. Christmas was God deliberately placing Himself squarely in the middle of humanity when that very same humanity sought to remove Him squarely from the middle of everything by any means possible. Christmas is God’s greatest gift ever given to mankind despite the thoughtless abuses of mankind in their mad march to forget. Christmas is God’s staunch refusal to forget, and it is His forever commitment to forgive. It is His commitment never to forget even though we are reckless enough to do so. No, God doesn’t forget. And Christmas is a powerful and compelling proof of that reality. We forget. Oh yes, we certainly forget. Maybe, just maybe it’s time to remember once again. © 2014 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

Pastors have an awesome calling. They’re my heroes. I serve them through the pastors.com community because I know what it’s like to be in the trenches of leading a local congregation. It’s tough. It’s blessed, it’s fulfilling, it’s an adventure… but it’s tough. Why is it so tough? There are plenty of reasons but for me, the primary has always been living up to the unrealistic expectations of fellow believers. In the way of personal testimony, my own failure to live up to the expectations of others (which should not have been my focus to begin with) drove me to discouragement and a period of very real depression in my life just a few years ago. I still go there sometimes, slipping into that dark place where the names and faces of those I’ve disappointed flash through my mind. But I’ve also learned, the hard way, that I absolutely must stand confident in three things: My identity as God’s child, which means His approval alone matters. My calling, which is irrevocable, and which is entirely by grace. My focus on the Great Commission, which is our prime objective. Here’s the problem… One of the greatest burdens Pastors carry is the constant pressure to be thinking of everyone. I encourage Pastors to move past this and focus on the least, the lost, and the last who need Jesus. But inevitably, Christians tend to put Pastors back into that box of being the chaplain instead of the prophet. An inevitable part of being a Pastor, as I’ve learned the hard way for nearly twenty years now, is that I can’t give personalized attention to everyone. I keep a list of prayer needs and reach out when I can, but I can’t personally care for everyone. Neither can my church, as an institution. Often there needs to be this sort of mutual relationship that develops, with believers, where we look to the church for help but also don’t place unrealistic expectations on others. I can testify to the stomach turning power of comments like, “I was hurting and you weren’t there for me…”, “I missed church two weeks in a row and nobody checked on me…”, “I went through a trial and you were too busy preaching to notice…” Ouch. This isn’t a whine session or even a rant. I’m actually quite happy as Pastor of Grace Hills, and in a decade of blogging, I’ve only mentioned this a handful of times. But two and a half years into the life of a young church plant, I seem to be hearing it more often again. It reminds me of what Pastors everywhere struggle with and I want to speak out. If you’re not a Christian, I’m not speaking to you. If you’re a new Christian, you need the church and its leadership. But to those who have been believers for some length of time, let me remind you of a big, important truth: It’s not about you. It stopped being about you when you were rescued, saved, and found your place on the rescue team alongside other rescuers. From this point on, to one extend or another, you must begin to own the responsibility for your own spiritual and emotional health. What might be more realistic… Perhaps a more realistic situation would be to have some more appropriately human-sized expectations of Pastors. If I’ve let you down, I’m sorry. I really am. If some other Pastor has let you down, know that he probably cares way more than you’re giving him credit for. But so that you’ll know what to expect of me in the future, let me help you understand what I consider the biblical role of Pastors (according to Acts 20, 1 Peter 5, John 22, 2 Timothy 3 and 4, and many other passages). The first and primary role of a Pastor is to feed the flock. This entails spending a great deal of time alone with God in prayer and study, digging into God’s truth and consistently teaching the congregation, over the long haul, the whole counsel of God. Much of our counseling can’t be done one-on-one, but it can be done as we address a range of biblical topics from the pulpit. The Pastor is the primary guardian of the flock assigned to protect the body from doctrinal error. The gospel, which is the very core and foundation of who the church is to be, is threatened daily from all sides. The Pastor’s first role is to make the gospel clear repeatedly. The second role of a Pastor is to lead the flock. That is, he’s the chief visionary for the local church. Impeding his work with red tape is unacceptable. If he has the gospel right and lives by the qualifications found in 1 Timothy 3, let him lead. He’s a shepherd. He’s fully capable of hearing direction from God and moving the flock forward. Your Pastor never has permission to manipulate you or spiritually abuse you. The word “authority” doesn’t really fit as much as the word “influence” does. Cults begin with an undue emphasis on the leader’s “authority” over the flock while thriving churches live under the leader’s freedom to influence. Then who meets the needs of individuals? The individuals do. A quick reading through the New Testament reveals dozens of “one another” commands. Christians are responsible to care for one another as much as possible in times of weakness, illness, and suffering. But as churches grow, believers also need to have an understanding that in order to be cared for by the community, I must involve myself in the community. This means getting connected. How? Commit to membership , which is way more about responsibility than privilege. It’s a way of saying, “I’m a believer who is here to pull my weight in this family and I’m going ‘all in.’” And part of membership is not just attending the weekend gathering, but being in a small group , which is essential. Decide to grow in maturity. While Pastors are to “feed the flock” in a general sense, they can’t possibly take responsibility in a couple of hours per week for the spiritual health of every church member. Dig into the Word, pray, give, and stay involved. Get involved in the ministry of the church by serving others and volunteering. Pastors are to equip people for ministry, but the ministry belongs to every member. See Ephesians 4 for the full story on that. Own the mission. The Great Commission is absolutely top priority for the church. Any church that turns inwardly and focuses on meeting all the needs of believers while reducing the energy formerly invested into reaching those outside the faith has already begun preparing for its own funeral. There are better ways to part ways. Amazingly, most of the people who helped start Grace Hills have gone on to other fellowships for a variety of reasons. Even more amazingly is that in almost every case we’ve maintained friendship. They’ve left on good terms. The motivation has been to have a need met we couldn’t meet or to help another struggling flock or to pursue an opportunity to serve unavailable at Grace Hills. Leaving a church isn’t always a bad thing, but relational health requires talking and honest expression. When that happens, my heart and conscience are far more clear. The bottom line. I love you. Your Pastor most likely loves you too. I’m sorry if I’ve let you down. I’ll try to do better. But for my own spiritual and emotional health, and yours too, I’ve decided to find my confidence in my identity in Christ, my calling by grace, and my commission to leave the ninety-nine in the flock to go after the one who is lost. When I try to keep you happy, I fail us both. From www.pastors.com. www.brandonacox.com. Used by permission.

1. Fighting Sexual Sin is Not About “Do More, Try Harder” A dangerous philosophy was circulating in the church at Colossae that was championing asceticism: if you want to remain pure, then separate yourself from the pleasures of the body that are so often a source of temptation. This philosophy said if you really want the fullness of divine life within you, then insulate your life. But Paul delivers a crushing blow to this philosophy: If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—“Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh. (Colossians 2:20-23) No value. That is Paul’s verdict on asceticism. It simply doesn’t work. Yes, there is a grain of truth in the philosophy—all popular philosophies contain at least some wisdom in them. If you are tempted to sin sexually then it makes sense to get away from sexual temptations. This will keep sin at bay—but ultimately the flesh remains unsatiated. This false philosophy is still circulating in the church today. When the best advice we can give people is better Internet filters, cold showers, more hours in prayer, and trying harder, we have given into this philosophy that Paul says is of no value. This false philosophy either totally underestimates the power of sin, or it sets the benchmark of holiness too low. It either doesn’t get just how ingrained sexual sin is in us, or it thinks that merely getting rid of outward, blatant sexual sin is the goal. Neither is accurate. 2. Fighting Sexual Sin Starts with a New Identity Paul offers his readers another approach to fighting sin, and it starts with these core identity statements: “With Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world” (2:20) “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3) “You have been raised with Christ” (3:1) “You were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead” (2:12) “You have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self” (3:9-10) “The riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (1:27) This is where a lot of modern readers check out. “Don’t give me these abstract theological ideas. I need something practical,” they think. But for Paul, there was nothing more practical, nothing more life-changing, than these ideas. We are united to the risen Christ by faith. His resurrection life flows in our veins now. The Spirit of the living Christ lives inside us, so we no longer belong to this world and the rules it plays by—we belong to Christ and the age to come. In order to have the power to fight lust, we first have to understand this: we no longer belong to sin. We belong to God who has accepted us and forgiven us, not because we purified ourselves first, but because we are united by faith to the Pure One, Jesus Christ. In order fight lust, we must understand that we no longer belong to lust. 3. Fighting Sexual Sin Continues by Kindling New Desires Knowing we are united to the living Christ, Paul writes, “Seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (3:1-2). The terms Paul uses here mean to center one’s interests, focus, and passions one something—to savor something. Now that God has united us to the risen Christ, we savor that reality, and this kindles new desires in us that displace a desire for sin. What are these “things” above that we should savor? First, we are to savor Christ himself. This is one of the reasons why Paul spills a lot of ink in this letter describing who Christ is. He is the beloved Son of God (1:13), the image of the invisible God (1:15), creator and sustainer of all things (1:16-17), the one whose blood reconciles us to the Father (1:20), the firstborn from the dead (1:18), and the one seated at God’s right hand (3:1). In him all the riches of wisdom and knowledge are hidden (2:3). The fullness of deity dwells in Him (1:19; 2:9). Second, we are to savor our new position before God. Christ is seated at God’s right hand and we are seated with Him (Ephesians 2:6). To be seated at a ruler’s right hand meant to be in the position of greatest authority, honor, and delight. Because Christ is in us, we share in the favor He has with the Father. Third, we are to savor the hope that some day we will see and experience these realities. Some day, Christ Himself will appear and we will appear with Him in glory (1:4). It is our destiny to be like the holy, pure Son of God. Some day our eyes will see the one who died for us and rose again, the one who is God in the flesh, and God will honor us as his royal children before every creature, every human soul, every angelic being in the universe. How does this practically help us to fight sexual sin? The reason why sexual sin can have such a grip on us is because of its power to define us and what is most valuable, how sexual pleasure makes us feel about ourselves. Sexual fantasy, pornography, or pursuing illicit sex makes us feel desired; it makes us feel valued and validated; it gives us a refuge; it gives us connection; it can even make us feel powerful. This is why setting our affections on things above is so important: it gives us a new center to our lives and gives us a completely new sense of value—not based in our worthiness but based on the love God has for Christ that overflows to us. 4. Fighting Sexual Sin is about Fighting For our New Desires Finally we come to Colossians 3:5, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Paul here is not endorsing asceticism—something he has already refuted. Asceticism is about fighting to get rid of something we think is unholy, but mortifying sin is about fighting for the new affections that God is giving to us. We can construct helpful boundaries in our lives that keeps sexual sin out of reach, but we should do so standing on our identity as God’s beloved children, standing satisfied in Christ and God’s love. When sexual temptation comes knocking, we can say to it, “No, sin. That’s not who I am anymore. You do not define what life is to me anymore. You do not define me anymore. Christ is in me. I am a child of the king, and one day the whole world will know it.” 5. Fighting Sexual Sin is Sustained by Relationships that Remind Us of Our New Identity “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16). This is the essence of real accountability in the body of Christ. Yes, accountability involves confessing our temptations, sins, and the state of our heart, but it also involves godly encouragement. Accountability is not just about someone calling you out on your sin, but someone calling you up to the person you already are in Christ. Accountability is about surrounding yourself with the kind of Christian friendships that teach and admonish you, that inspire thankfulness, and that help us unpack all the wisdom contained in the great mystery that Paul called “Christ in us, the hope of glory” (1:27). Accountability is like stoking the embers of the fire. It does not add energy to the embers. It only exposes those embers to the air so new reactions can happen. When we engage in the disciplines of confession, encouragement, and mutual prayer we expose our souls again to the life-changing gospel, and God’s power is released again and again.

Since we all experience losses in our lives, we need to learn how to accept what we cannot change and grow through the crisis. How well we handle any crisis is determined by how we process three mental constructs. The first is permanence. The speed of recovery is greatly affected by whether we think the consequences of the crisis will have a short-term or long-term negative affect on us. The loss is permanent, but it doesn’t have to affect us permanently. There is the potential to grow through every crisis. Suppose your new employer is very irritable. It is a short-term problem if you think it is just a passing mood, and it will have little effect on you. But it is a long-term problem if you think the person is always irritable. You can respond to this crisis as follows: “I’m going to ignore him.” That is denial . “I’m going to be irritable back.” That is anger . “I’m going to try appeasing him.” That is bargaining. “I’m stuck with this irritable person whom I can’t change.” That is depressing. “I’m going to quit this job.” That is resignation. “I’m going to love him and learn how to live with him.” That is acceptance. The second construct is pervasiveness . You will recover slowly if you think your whole life is ruined. If you experience one loss-you are not a loser. If you fail to accomplish one goal-you are not a failure. If you get laid off at work-you are not unemployable. It is natural to grieve for what we have lost and it is an important part of the recovery process. However, a prolonged depression due to losses signifies an over attachment to people, places, and things that we have no right or ability to control. The martyred missionary, Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose.” The third mental construct is personalization. Blaming yourself for every loss will keep you in a rut. If you experience loss in one area, don’t generalize it into a total crisis. Keep it specific. If you experience a crisis today, don’t allow it to affect you tomorrow. Keep short accounts. If the world is disintegrating around you, don’t accept the blame when it’s not appropriate. If you are suffering the consequences of a bad decision, then change what you can, minimize your losses and move on. Such losses often cause us to evaluate who we are, especially if our identity was tied up with what we lost (i.e. job, or spouse). A crisis can deepen our walk with God and solidify our identity in Christ. Losses also precipitate the need for new relationships and change of scenery. These changes are probably necessary for our growth in Christ, but they would not have been made if not forced to do so. Nobody likes to entertain the idea of impermanence. We live every day with the assumption that tomorrow will be the same. We make plans for the future with the thought that we will have our health, and the same old job, family, and friends. James says otherwise. “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that’” (James 4:13-15). Only God is permanent; everything else is changing. We are time-oriented people by nature, who are in the process of learning to see life from God’s eternal perspective. Three times Jesus told His disciples that He was going to Jerusalem and there He would be betrayed and crucified. The first time (Mark 8:31), they essentially denied Jesus and Peter even rebuked Him. The second time (Mark 9:32), they didn’t understand and were afraid to talk about it. On this third occasion (Mark 10:32-34), the disciples were astonished. Their life as usual was soon to be over. We all go through a very predictable reaction when an established lifestyle is abruptly ended by a crisis. Usually the crisis is defined by a significant loss that can be real, threatened or imagined. Our first response is denial and that can last for three minutes or thirty years. The initial reaction is a sense of disbelief, “No, not me!” Then we get angry and wonder, “How can this happen to me?” The anger often turns to bargaining. “Maybe I can alter what happened?” Finally, we feel depressed when the consequences if the loss cannot be reversed. Reaction to losses is the primary cause for depression. No crisis can destroy us, but they do reveal who we are. Learning to overcome losses is a critical part of our growth process. Everything we now have, someday we shall lose, except for our relationship with God. The critical questions are: Are we going to choose the path of resignation and allow the loss to negatively affect us for the rest of our lives, or are we going to accept what we cannot change and grow through the crisis? A wise person once said, A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn. www.discipleshipcounsel.com www.ficm.org Used by permission of Neil Anderson.

I’d like to encourage you to keep track of what God does in your marriage over this next month. I hope you’ll take time to share what God does in your home as you bless and encourage your spouse. Day One: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12 To refresh your memory . . . here’s the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge: for the next 30 days: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for “choosing you” above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner. One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget-a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!” Day Two: ” . . . through love serve one another.” Gal. 5:13b How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you’re off to a good start. (If you blew it, don’t give up start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them. Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn’t think it’s part of a “Honey Do” list! Maybe your husband’s not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength. Day Three: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19 Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it’s difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn’t had role models in these areas. If he’s not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it’s hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don’t insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can’t expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart. Day Four: ” . . . let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . . ” Eph. 4:28 We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world. Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you “dump” on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others. If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc. Day Five: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29 Another way to describe the positive side of this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” is by using the word “edify,” which means, “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him – in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have. Day Six: “. . . whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31b Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Is your husband the “creative” type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special “knack” he has? Affirm him for his handiwork – a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn’t measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his “creative side,” understand that men’s creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day . . . Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening. Day Seven: “Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! . . . for riches certainly make themselves wings . . .” Prov. 23:4-5 “That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries.” Proverbs 8:21 Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, “Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?” Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead. Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters. If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he’s open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him. Day Eight: How are you doing with the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the challenge: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “. . . but who can find a faithful man?” Prov. 20:6b Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband’s faithfulness—how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has “stick-to-it-iveness” in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may “. . . be won by the conduct of their wives” [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.) Day Nine: We are often so busy speaking that we don’t take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment – negative or positive—that we don’t really “hear” our husband’s heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more! As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord’s admonition today: “Be swift to hear.” If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him. One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it’s an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn’t know, then tell him, “Wow, I didn’t know that!” Day Ten: We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we’re not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, “How can I admire him?” Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him! Day Eleven: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Eph. 5:22 Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission. Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together. If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . .”as to the Lord.” Day Twelve: “With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.” Eph. 4:2 Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart? Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it’s simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others. How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing. Day Thirteen: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” Song of Solomon 7:10 The sexual relationship. It’s one of those elements—along with money and children—that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a “good lover”? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage. In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you. Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways. Day Fourteen: “The righteous man walks in his integrity . . .” Prov. 20:7a Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It’s so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture. Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband’s honesty and integrity with others. Day Fifteen: “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . .” 2 Pet. 3:18a Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband’s faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember—your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth. Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future. Day Sixteen: “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18 God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly. Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being “one flesh” with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you. If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him—smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant “grunt!”—and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him . . . and listen when he does speak. Day Seventeen: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Prov. 9:10 Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband. Is your husband a “wise man?” Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If you are not sure about your husband’s vision for your home, ask him, “Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?” and “How can I help you accomplish that?” If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one. If your husband is not walking with God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord – you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum! Day Eighteen: “You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy . . . Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!” Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b “A merry heart does good like medicine . . .” Prov. 17:22a It’s hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a “little boy” that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times. If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax. Day Nineteen: Read this description of a wife’s description of her beloved—Song of Solomon 5:10-16 Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies. Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world – a loving God designed them all, and they are all “beautiful” in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness. As you look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?) Day Twenty: “And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Eph. 4:32 It’s time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God’s grace and in His power —you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you. Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense? Day Twenty-one: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matt. 6:33 If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world. If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity . . . the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things. Day Twenty-two: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: “If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I’ve said about him, what would they think of my husband?” Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others . . . or do you complain and criticize? Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never “rejoice in iniquity” (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband’s faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area—be wary of sharing barbed “prayer requests.” Remember, “Love will cover a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8b). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a “good word” for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him—and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down. Don’t forget: you are always criticizing—or encouraging—before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace. Day Twenty-three: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a You’re moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you’ve committed: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works . . .” Titus 2:7a Does the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him. Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed – but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized. Whatever the need, you can be your husband’s cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up. Day Twenty-four: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4 Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband’s leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up. Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills. If you don’t have children—is your husband positive and encouraging around other people’s children? Let him know that you have noticed. If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent—while still maintaining his authority in the home. Day Twenty-five: “. . . seek peace, and pursue it.” Ps. 34:14b “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Is. 26:3 Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today. Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence? Does he bring music, entertainment, books or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices. If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible. Day Twenty-six: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Luke 2:52 If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life . . . and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life. The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband. As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home. Jesus led a balanced life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance. If your husband is out of balance—focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others—consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind? Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example! Day Twenty-seven: “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” Ps. 31:24 You have almost completed the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of encouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared. There are lots of “tough guys” in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy? Psalm 27:14says this kind of courage comes from “waiting” on the Lord for His strength. If your budget allows, “award” your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband’s courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home. Day Twenty-eight: “The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.” Prov. 15:33 Sometimes, when we just “know” we are right and our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. As part of your Encouragement Challenge today, pray that you will respond to the Lord in faith and humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely and well, and leave the results to God. The humility that comes from a right relationship with God—the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God and be taught from His Word—is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father’s will (John 6:38; Matt. 26:39). Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from and submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship. Day Twenty-nine: “A prudent man foresees evil, and hides himself; the simple pass on, and are punished.” Prov. 27:12 As you near the end of your Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband’s responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize and avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, and the urge to lie and cheat? This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar’s wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first and foremost, sins against God (Gen. 39:9). Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today-and express your gratitude. Day Thirty: “. . . This is my beloved, and this is my friend . . .” Song of Solomon 5:16b Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so “used” to him that you don’t appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he “just knows”? Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don’t step on each other’s hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” celebrate your friendship with your husband. Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him. Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, and read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, and if he is willing, thank God for your love and friendship, asking for His blessing on your home. Encouragement, as you have seen these past 30 days, is a synonym for love in action. How has this challenge changed your heart and life, dear friend? Did God encourage you as you planned ways to encourage your husband? Were there difficult days where you simply needed to trust that God was working? Days when it was hard to leave the results to God? Remember that God is faithful, and He will bless you for your willingness to obey Him. His ways are not our ways, and perhaps He will honor you in ways you do not expect, but one thing is sure—you will never be the same because of your commitment to be more like Christ! What kinds of victories have you experienced in your home since you started the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? Would you take a moment to share these victories with us? © Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com. Info@ReviveOurHearts.com.

“…In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome this world.” John 16:33 NIV A sign beside the door of an Army Chaplain’s office stated: “If you have troubles, come in and tell me about them. If you don’t have troubles, please come in and tell me how you do it.” A fitting sign for a Chaplain’s office, especially when one considers its location…an Army Post for Combat Training! This would be a great sign to hang outside each church pastor’s office, as well; especially, if the pastor reads it frequently.” Many would say their life has been nothing but trouble ever since they were born. Consider the little children, who are born in the war-torn geography of the Middle-East, and hope to live long enough to see their tenth birthday, or eventually, live in peace one day. In a news video, aired earlier this year, an adolescent girl, also the designated protector of her prepubescent sister and brother, could name the different types of shells being fired in the region surrounding her make shift home inside a bombed-out building. At such an early stage in life, already, she was a weapons expert and could tell which army was firing the shells, what type of shells they were as they whistled through the air, or how they exploded, and whether enemy or friendly. Imagine living like this day and night, every day, wondering when the bomb might land on their home. Watching this documentary, no doubt, viewers were both exceedingly amazed by the little girl as she told her story, but equally sad, when they considered the truth in what she said. Chaplains, missionaries, church pastors and/or church staff ministers hear and see many sad, sometimes even terrifying stories from people, on a daily basis; and often these stories have a traumatic end such as being permanently disabled or bedridden, and in many cases, death and departure from this earthly life. The Question to ponder becomes, “How does one handle the various types of difficult experiences in this life?” A question that is generally followed by, “How can ministers be so cold and hard-hearted when talking to people about their problems.” After a number years in the ministry, many ministers, especially, church pastors realize they do appear to have a cold and hard heart towards the daily realms of life that people experience, but only because they witness suffering, shame, despair, guilt, financial disaster, mental illness and other health issues, terminal illness, and even death on a large and frequent scale. One inquires, “Do they become bitter and callous as a result of that?” The answer might be, “Yes”, but many would say, “No”. Some might even try to sound overly strong and persuasively encouraging. Perhaps they were hoping to hear something similar to what the disciples finally said to Jesus: “Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.” (John 16:29-30) Of course, Jesus responded: “Do you believe now?” (John 16:31) This world is full of troubles and people are affected either directly, or indirectly. Soldiers training for combat will constantly hear their Training Officers say: “A soldier is only as good as his training. A dead soldier is no good to his comrades or his army.” Those are harsh words, but a very true concept. Was Jesus being harsh or inconsiderate when he asked the disciples, “Do you believe now”? No, of course not, but all the time he was teaching the disciples, he was relying on them to equate their knowledge and understanding of the scriptures with the principles of his teachings. They had grown up under the Jewish Law and they had to learn the scriptures by rote memory so well they should have immediately referenced the scriptures with what Jesus taught them. During combat, soldiers are expected to utilize all their training to perform successfully. Jesus expected no less from his disciples. All too well, they knew the story of their fore fathers and ancestors held captive by the Egyptians and how Israel aimlessly wandered for forty years in the desert (Numbers 33:38). The disciples were with Christ on that stormy night when he calmed the raging sea and invited Peter to walk on the water with him (Mark 4:35-41; Matthew 14:23-33). They had watched as Christ fed five thousand people from a few fish and a couple loves of bread (Mark 6:30-44). Yet, when Christ used parables to teach them about the Kingdom of God, good students, the disciples were not! People find themselves constantly challenged with their experiences of life in this “real world” of the present day, the “world to come” and “eternal life” in God’s kingdom, about which Jesus spoke. Soldiers are simultaneously vexed by the reality of life in this “real” world and the “unreal” world filled with harsh evils and destruction of war. Like everyone else, they worry, wonder, search for refuge and desire peace that sometimes seems far out of reach. The Bible teaches that Satan is at war with God and as a result everyone in this world will be a victim of that battle (Revelation 12:7-12). Jesus wanted his disciples to know that even though everyone will know troubles in this present world, even though they might feel like soldiers fighting what seems to be an endless and futile war, they can still be of good cheer and a grateful heart because he has overcome the evil of this world (Psalm 23). Jesus is victorious over all that is at enmity with God, his father (Revelation 1:18; John 6:47). The reality of Jesus’ encouraging words are realized when one learns that this present world is the domain of Satan (Galatians 1:4), but this present world is merely ephemeral, when one accepts Jesus’ salvation and claim, because in that claim this world will pass away (I John 2:17) and the new earth and the new Jerusalem are eminent (Revelation 21:1-27 NIV). The people of the Old Testament had been taught to believe this truth (I Samuel 2:8); and the disciples had memorized this truth from their scriptures training, which began in the very early childhood and continued throughout their days. How does one handle the various types of difficult experiences in this life? Whether a soldier dealing with the awesomeness of combat, or just a person in this world, perhaps living according to one’s own chosen lifestyle, maybe wandering aimlessly without hope, or even a Christian looking forward to eternal life, how does one go into the Chaplain’s office and tell the chaplain he has no problems, but if he truly has no problems, then, how doe he, or she, accomplish a life free from problems? Just like David, the shepherd boy learned from slaying the giant in his world, like Peter, the New Testament disciple of Christ, and Saul of Tarsus, who persecuted and stoned Christians to death, had to learn not to live this life by the blade of the sword, or the honor and glory of all mankind, but simply by the word of God; so must everyone in his or her own particular realm of life. The answer sounds rather simple, but for the person, who is not a Christian, the challenge may be more than devastating. Unfortunately, the person, who does not believe God, refuses to believe in God, to trust Christ for their Lord and Savior, will not know the comfort, confidence, joy, and peace that only can be found in the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. They may simply believe the world is as it is and once this life is complete, only death remains and that is all there is. How sad! What is one’s incentive to be good, live better, or even to attempt to accomplish anything worthy of a person’s existence? The Christian follower of Christ recognizes God, the Heavenly Father; Jesus Christ, God’s Son and Mankind’s Savior; and the Holy Spirit, as the great comforter, who indwells the believer, promised after Christ’s departure from earth. Like a soldier, Christians recognize who is in Command and the chain of commands through which he receives his instructions, he obeys those commands, he wears his uniform proudly and he serves with pride, he learns to prospers by the Code of Conduct taught him; and he is successful, even if he dies in the process. Better than any of the best soldiers, the Christian realizes that only God has the divine authority for judgment (Romans 8:33-34). The soldier acknowledges that all his instructions come from the highest of Commanders and he does not question the commands, but he is only to execute according to his knowledge, training and ability. The Christian knows to trust in the God and not lean on his or her own way of doing things, but in every way acknowledge God, who will direct the Christian’s pathways in life (Proverbs 3:5-6). The soldier knows to keep his uniform and equipment ready for warfare at all times, and to always be ready to show the world he is ready to fully and correctly represent his Army, Commander-in-Chief, and all his fellow soldiers to the world in the way he is trained and expected to perform. The Christian has learned to be ready for life in this world by reading the Bible, following the instructions for life, gaining wisdom from the scriptures, to be diligent and sober (I Peter 5:8), always renewing the mind and spirit (Romans 12:2), and to always live graciously, to stand fast and fashion oneself according to the image and likeness of God, after which all mankind has been created, and to live in hope and peace, until the end (I Peter 1:13-15). The good soldier strives to perform well and to receive accolades, awards, commendations, medals, respect and honor from his Commanders and fellow soldiers, whether received while alive, or posthumously. Many great soldiers are also Christians. Just like the Christian Soldier, all Christian should live a life of hope and desire to hear these simple, but truly the greatest words ever to be spoken to them: You have done well, my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! (Matthew 25:21). References and Suggested Readings: Dahger, Sam. “Life In the War-Torn Syrian City of Aleppo.” The Wall Street Journal: Page One. Video (WSJLive) April 25, 2014. September 24, 2014. Snodgrass, Klyne, Stories with Intent: A Comprehensive Guide to the Parables of Jesus. Chicago: William B Eerdmans Publishing Company. 2008. Young, Rich, U.S. Army Chaplain. “Sign On Army Chaplain’s Door” (January, 2001). Schofield Barracks, Hawaii 96857. SermonCentral.com/contributors/rich-young-sermons-5088.asp. January 2001. September 24, 2014.

Share 0 Derek Leman, a messianic rabbi from Atlanta, GA in this guest post for Jewish Studies for Christians deals with an issue of whether or not Jews and Gentiles are bound by the same commandments. While there are other well-argued opinions, I am happy to present his post to you for your careful consideration and engagement. Whose commandments are they? That is, for whom were they laid down as stipulations? Does that still matter or did something change, such as God issuing a new covenant that made the original commandments a law for everyone? Or did a new people come to God who were then transformed in some way, made to have the same relationship to God as this first people, the Jewish people? The logic of “one law” or of the divine obligation of all people of faith in Messiah to the same laws as those given to Israel is usually based on one of a handful of arguments. Aren’t non-Jews grafted into the Jewish tree through Messiah and if so, doesn’t this eliminate the Jewish-Gentile differentiation? If a commandment is holy, then isn’t it unholy not to follow it? Since the Torah is the only ordered list of God’s requirements, it has to be for everyone, because God nowhere gives a “law for the Gentiles,” right? People often base their opinion about the commandments on their experience and not on the Bible. I am not against the importance of our personal experience with God. It’s just that experience can be misinterpreted. It seems to be far better if we interpret our experiences with reference to the great ideas that are in the Bible and find answers which bring together Bible and experience. So, for example, a Christian may experience a deep awakening upon discovering the joys of Passover and Sabbath and the rhythm of the Torah calendar. Likewise, eating a restricted diet can feel like intensifying holiness. And the whole experience of becoming a Torah-observer may feel like getting very close to God. Then, when encountering Jewish beliefs about Torah — that Torah is a covenant between Israel and God, not between the nations and God — such a person might feel as if they are being denied membership in an exclusive club. I would like to explain why, in simple terms, God’s way is not one law for everyone, and suggest a middle path for non-Jews who want to have a closer relationship with Israel’s Torah. First, it would be helpful if people would go back to the giving of the Torah from Sinai in Exodus 19. Would Jewish people be asking too much if we say, “Please keep in mind the importance of this event as something special between us and God?” When you read Exodus 19, can you not see God is making a covenant with the Jewish people? Yes, there are clever work-arounds such as “Gentiles were there too in the form of the mixed multitude.” But those tortured arguments look like a way to deny the simple truth: Torah was given as a covenant to Israel. The commandments are the stipulations of the covenant. Second, what is in the Torah? Do people who want to read it as “one law for everyone” actually take into account what is actually contained in it? Many things in Torah no longer apply to anyone today, Jewish or non-Jewish. Do you need laws about how to treat your slave? Have you seriously entertained the idea of taking a war-bride after giving her a month to mourn her father? Were you considering stoning your rebellious teenager? Reading the Torah calls for some maturity in reading, some willingness to learn history, to see the difference between the ideal in Torah and the time-bound social and civil legislation it contained for an ancient nation in a barbaric world. Third, when people talk about how they are “Torah-observant” or say that they “keep the commandments,” they mean only a handful of them. What they are really talking about is the observances given to Israel which the church has not made part of its practice: Sabbath, dietary law, circumcision on the eighth day, tassels on one’s garment, and festivals. There is no Temple anymore, so the laws about offerings and giving the tithe to the priests cannot really apply. But these few commandments that differentiate Israel from the nations — which can be referred to as the sign commandments, since they are signs of Israel’s uniqueness — are a cause for controversy. It may help (or maybe not) to point out that the Sabbath is specifically said to be such a sign: “Above all you shall keep my Sabbaths, for this is a sign between me and you throughout your generations” (Exod 31:13). When God said this, it is clear the “you” was Israel, and Israel’s generations are still very much alive today. Fourth, it is possible — and I try to get people to see this — that what is holy and required for one person is not holy and required of all people. One person — a priest in Israel — may not be able to attend a burial or walk in a graveyard. If the whole world follows the “one law” principle, none of our dead will ever be buried. One person — someone under a Nazirite vow — must avoid wine and even grapes and raisins. If the all-commandments-apply-universally notion is followed, well, we will all miss out on some great Cabernet and the joy of raisins in our oatmeal. Likewise, it is possible that Sabbath is a holy sign of Jewishness (just like Exodus says) and that it is not holy for Gentiles. It may be that Israel’s diet was restricted and this marked them as a different people in the ancient world, but that there is no reason why pork is inherently unclean — just as Genesis 9:3 suggests. Fifth, it is fairly easy to see — but clever and specious arguments are used to avoid seeing what is obvious — that the apostles believed Jews in Messiah should keep all the commandments but that the Gentiles did not need to “keep the law of Moses.” They did not mean by this that Gentiles in Messiah were free to steal and murder. “Law of Moses” means the covenant stipulations from Sinai as a total system. It is clear in reading Paul that he taught his Gentile adherents they were not bound by diets and days and the use of flint knives to remove a foreskin. To many people, this makes Paul seem problematic, anti-Torah. Did it occur to anyone he was being a good Jew and interpreting Torah according to its true sense? Sixth, it is also fairly easy to see that the church went too far in distancing itself from Torah and the Jewish people. Christian theologians regularly write about this and recovering the Jewishness of Christianity is standard form today in many circles. Yes, plenty of Christians remain oblivious to what the theologians and historians within Christianity are saying about Jewish roots, but the church has definitely turned a corner. It is possible now to argue that Christians practice a form of Judaism and to point this out entirely from Christian thinkers and scholars. Seventh, it is often overlooked that Christians keep most of what is in Torah, at least what I call the ideals of Torah. Love God and neighbor is the ideal center of Torah. It is expressed in ways we treat the powerless, honor one another, serve those in need, form community, and repair the world. Christians have always been very involved in love and service and good works. Eighth and finally, there is a middle way for people who want to keep some of Israel’s Torah without those same people denying Israel’s unique relationship to God. It is not necessary to say, “I am grafted into Israel’s tree and so I am virtually an Israelite now.” It is not necessary to say, “All the commandments are holy for everyone and there are no distinctions.” It is possible instead to adopt the philosophy of one of the earliest writings of the Yeshua-movement, the Didache (pronounced deed-ah-KHAY). The Didache came out of the first century Messianic Jewish movement and a few decades after Paul died, the Didache argued that Gentiles could keep Torah. It is possible to see that in Paul’s time this could have been dangerous, it could have rendered Messiah null and void. But after many Gentiles came in, it was possible some of them would want to live close to Jewish communities and worship with them. So in the Didache, Gentiles were encouraged to “keep as much Torah as they are able” and to live in fellowship with Jewish disciples. The audience of the Didache, then, were Messianic Gentiles — as we often call people today who are in Messianic congregations or, even if not members of a Messianic congregation, live a Messianic Jewish lifestyle and maintain friendships with Messianic Jews. And the Didache does not encourage these Gentiles to simply act as if they are Jewish. Some distinctions remain. So, for example, in Messianic Judaism today, Gentiles have a welcome place. The best practices of Torah will include making distinctions without discrimination. It is possible to distinguish and not discriminate. And it is not necessary that Gentiles who choose this middle way should claim that all Christians must do the same. Living as a “Messianic Gentile” (or just as a “Messianic”) does not make a person holier. It is one way and God has many ways for people. The most important commandments are not Sabbath and dietary law anyway. To over-exalt these is to practice a form of cheap self-righteousness. Jewishness is not a privilege. It is a responsibility. Jewishness is not a status of higher blessing. It is a calling to be a distinguishable people and to pass on that identity to children and children’s children forever. Gentiles who love the Torah should not try to erase Jewish distinction, to render Jewishness inert, to say all Messiah-followers are essentially Jews. It does matter whose commandments they are. And the ideals of Torah apply to everyone even if some of the specifics are about Israel’s peoplehood. One law for everyone fails to read Torah according to its own distinctions. Being grafted in is a way of explaining how Gentiles come into the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant, one given long before Sinai and which included Gentiles from the beginning (Gen 12:1-3). God did not ever say, “I now take the commandments given to Israel and make them apply to all of Messiah’s people.” But Paul did show his Gentile adherents how they could derive from the Torah what was required of them. And like Abraham (Gen 26:5), it is possible to keep all of God’s statutes without having a specific law-code. The Torah is not one law for everyone. But neither do we have to forbid people from keeping it. There is a middle way. What do you think? Used by permission of www.eteacherbiblical.com.

More often than not, we’re pretty good with beginnings. However, a lot of times we seem to hate endings. In stating that, I need to clarify there are a whole lot of things that we just can’t wait to wash our hands of. We all have those nagging situations that we desperately wish would give us blessed relief by vanishing altogether. Sometimes we can’t wait for the day to end, or for that looming deadline to pass, or for a particular event to be mercifully over. There are some endings that we gladly welcome with open arms, and by the time they arrive we find ourselves ecstatic that whatever’s done is finally done. Nonetheless, there are many times when we tend to hate endings. Endings can be incapacitating and painful for a variety of reasons, most of which we never identify because we’re too caught up in the loss to see anything but the loss. We don’t really identify what we’re actually doing with whatever the ending is, or what the ending is actually doing to us because we’re too lost in the loss to even begin to consider any of that. And so, the fact that something is ending becomes entirely consuming to the point that the ending is all that we can see. And because it’s all that we can see, the ending becomes an end in itself when directly ahead of us new beginnings are being forged and fresh byways are being laid out from the very ending that we’re caught up in. Because this tends to occur, we’re left with the inability to see within the loss the seeds of a new beginning. We’re not able to comprehend that an end is always a beginning. We can’t even remotely fathom that whatever is ending for us is always more than an ending. An ending robs us of the vision to understand that things are escorted out of our lives so that better things have room to be escorted in. We lose the understanding that death always begets life of some sort, and that life is always an opportunist, persistently standing ready to build something out of the smoldering ashes and raise something up out of the tangled carnage. We lose the precious sense that an end is only a beginning in disguise. And so, how do we learn to see a beginning being formed in the ashes of whatever end we’ve experienced? We might do that better by getting some obstructive thinking out of the way: First, We Don’t Want to Lose Something Quite simply, we tend to hate endings because many of our endings involve things that we don’t want to lose. Sure, there are many things that we’re glad to get rid of, but many times some ‘thing,’ or some person, or some life-phase played such a role in our lives that we can’t imagine going on without it. Or we feel that its end has come far too soon and we are bereft of everything we could have gotten out of it, or it out of us. Whatever the case, we’ve been cheated or short-changed or short-sheeted in some manner that elicits a sense of loss intermingled with a sense of anger. What we end up doing is seeing the loss within the agenda that we had created for that thing, or that person, or that life-phase, and we’ve not recognized a larger agenda that’s simply playing itself out so it can play other things in. Second, We Fear That Whatever We’ve Lost Can Never Be Replaced Then there’s the fear that what we’ve lost can never be replaced. There’s an immediate sense that losing something demands that it be replaced. There’s that sense where we don’t want to disturb the continuity of our lives and the rhythm that we’ve created. Things have been disrupted, sometimes dramatically so, and we want to stop the disruption by immediately replacing whatever it was that we lost. But then we’re caught up in the ever-accelerating fear that maybe it can’t be replaced. Maybe there is no substitution. Maybe there’s nothing to swap it out with, and we will therefore have to settle with the disruption of a “new normal” that we have absolutely no interest in. What we tend to miss is that replacement only serves to perpetuate the repetition of the past, where creating space for something new creates space for something fresh. And it is out of something fresh that this journey of ours is so often refreshed. Third, Glorifying the End But because we have to tolerate endings, we want them to be good and even glorious. We want an end to have some meaning to it, that whatever is ending was meaningful and possibly spectacular while it was around. If something’s going to end and we can’t stop it, we want to send it off with some sort of recognition or appreciation or final ‘hurrah.’ If it’s going to be an ending, we want it to be one that will be such an ending that it will never be forgotten. We can’t hold on to that which we’re losing, but we can make the end grand and glorious to the point that the memory of it all will always stay with us. There’s nothing inherently wrong about bringing something to a close in a manner that’s respectful and celebratory, unless this becomes our one and total focus. Fourth, We Fear That an Ending Might Be a Failure What if the ending is really a failure? What if whatever it is that ended wasn’t really supposed to end, but it did because somebody screwed up somewhere? What if this really wasn’t the time? What if this loss really was grossly premature and achingly unnecessary? What if this loss was due to my stupidity or poor timing or lack of insight or lackluster commitment? What if this loss was the product of someone’s blatant failure? Sometimes losses are so unexplainable and seemingly irrational that we think this way. And it may well be that the loss did not have to happen, and maybe should not have happened at all. Yet, life is big enough and has ample room to take the most tragic mistakes and weave them into the most wonderful of opportunities if we let it do so. An ending is only a failure if we choose not to tease out the manifold lessons in the ending. Fifth, We Fear That There Will Be No New Beginning So what if this is an end and nothing more than an end? What if nothing emerges from whatever it is that we’ve lost? What if life doesn’t go on, or there are no opportunities beyond this, or it all dies here? Could an end be irrevocably an end where a beginning of any kind simply does not exist? Is there a place where life stops because there is absolutely nothing else ahead? Could this be that dreaded chasm where this is no other side from which to pick up the journey? And it is this very fear that makes most of our endings so terribly frightening. We often wonder will the road run out, will an irrevocable end eventually come, and will there be no place to go because the future simply won’t exist and the past is forever gone. Yet, it is looking at the nature and fabric of life, and in the looking realize that things always find a way to go forward because there is always a place to go forward to. An End as a Beginning in Disguise As we approach spring and Easter, we are incessantly reminded of new beginnings. Life is a relentless perpetuation of things arising out of things that have passed. There is the coming and the going. The emptying out and the filling up. The uprooting and the planting. There is an unrelenting exchange that makes things unrelentingly new. The coming of spring heralds a titanic resurgence arising out of the debris and decay of fall. It is a message woven into the most intimate fabric of creation where nothing ends because an end is only a beginning in disguise. It’s living with the understanding that loss is real, and that loss can be utterly devastating. But loss is only a precursor to something that we will soon gain. It might be different, it could take us in an entirely new direction, it may well be unfamiliar, but it is the next step picking up where the previous step left off. And whatever the nature this new step might be, life is such that it opens new horizons, paints new vistas, and calls us to perpetual adventure if we’re willing to heed the call. An ending is only a beginning in disguise. © 2014 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

Psalm 46 is a poem that brings us great confidence and faith. It is the inspiration for my songs and my life. Read the psalm with me first. PSALM 46 For the director of music. Of the sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song. 1.God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2.Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3.though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 4.There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5.God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at daybreak. 6.Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 7.The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. 8.Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 9.He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. 10.”Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 11.The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. This Psalm is again addressed to the chief musician… and I love that the Word of God puts value on the highly skilled in the areas of music and arts… In 1st Chronicles, we read that Zechariah, Eliab and Benaiah were to praise the Lord with Psalteries on Alamoth. As far as I can understand, this may mean to, not through habit, fall into the trap of singing in only one key, but with intelligence, we are to craft praises to appropriately express the fullness of the occasion. This explanation may not be completely accurate as the info available is scarce… but one thing I am confident of, is that these ancient descriptions show that care, time and skill should be used when being part of any song to honour our King. How great is that! The first two words in this Psalm again bring so much confidence… GOD IS… our refuge, our strength, our VERY present help… GOD IS… Do you actually believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God IS all He says He is? I truly believe that if we grasped this revelation of who God Is, our lives would look extremely different. God alone is our All in All, all other strength is weakness, and a very present help. You know, yesterday, I watched on the screens at church for a few minutes as Macca led worship at a funeral for one of the dear brothers in our church. Yes, it was sad, yes there was grief and heartache… but I had an overwhelming sense of His VERY present help. Very… more than your closest friend or relative, and even more present than the trouble itself. I’ll never forget just after my Dad died, that sense of sadness was way too much to bear. I was at the clothesline crying out to God… when I literally felt the arm of God rest around my shoulder to comfort me… VERY present, coming at just the right time. So, with this truth in mind…WE WILL NOT FEAR! Though many trials will try to come and defeat us, we will stand knowing our God is near. Even when heaven and earth pass away… EVEN THEN, GOD IS! Listen to this, ‘Evil may ferment, wrath may boil, and pride may foam, but the brave heart of Holy confidence trembles not’… (Charles Spurgeon of course!) We then find a Selah… pause, be calm, think for a moment… The music set to this psalm must have been quite colourful if you truly take in the words, I think after such a musical interpretation, the psalmist needed a breath to bring calm, and to reflect a moment. This pause is not a fruit of dismay or doubt, but merely time to re-tune, set your instrument for deliberate music of victory in the midst of a storm. We’ve talked about this before… get ready for the music of the overcomers. Now we are at the river… whose streams make glad the city of God…The City of God, Zion, whose streams are not intermittent, but ever flowing with grace and favour, rivers of life and joy, supplying all of our needs, bringing life and refreshing. The church is like the city of God. His design, His glory, His purpose, His people, His message, His provision… streams of life running from it. Dedicated to His praise and glorified by His presence. The City of God has always caused the enemy to rage, so it should be of no surprise that the word says the heathen get angry about the streams of life… How did this happen??? They continually ask, their angry cries tend to swell in volume and intensity… and beautifully, the Lord utters His voice, and the earth melts!!! GOD IS!! Come and see is what the Psalmist declares. Come and see what God did to overthrow our enemies… our strength and shield, our ever-present help… He was faithful yet again to His Word and His character. There is talk of all that the powerful voice of the Lord achieves… peace to war, end to strife, He crushes even the greatest of enemies until they cannot wreak havoc ever again… ONE word from God is all it takes to still the storm. That’s why you need to have the word of God IN YOU. Then, the words we all know and so value… BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.The great I am, says remember, I AM.He will be exalted among the heathen AND exalted on the earth…. Why then, do we hesitate to trust in our God… the great I AM. You truly trust, you’ve got to let go of trying to work everything out yourself…Trust is something that people put confidence or reliance in. Learn to let go, and trust God. I found this song by the great Reformer Martin Luther… this is from a book written in 1866 entitled, ‘Hymn Writers and Their Hymns’ by S.W Christophers. ‘A sure Stronghold our God is He, A timely shield and weapon; Our help He’ll be and set us free From every ill can happen. And were the world with devils filled, All eager to devour us, Our souls to fear shall little yield, They cannot overpower us.’ Luther’s explanation of Psalm 46 was… ‘We sing this Psalm to the praise of God, because God is with us, and powerfully and miraculously preserves and defends His church and His word, against all fanatical spirits, against the gates of hell, against the implacable hatred of the devil, and against all the assaults of the world, the flesh and sin.’ So I leave you with that thought…’ GOD IS’ What IS GOD to you?? I pray He’s your source, your life, your anchor, your breath, your reason, your song, your healer, your deliverer, your friend, your Lord, and many other things I could list. Be confident in His ability to hold your life in His hands. For you, are His greatest pleasure…

Who has influenced you over the course of your life? If you think back to your childhood, there are all kinds of influences there. Maybe your parents, your friends, maybe bullies at school … any number of people may have influenced you at school. I know as a kid, for me, one of my big influences was the garbage collector. I wanted to be a trash guy. I would stand by my window and wait for the garbage truck to come by. Every time the garbage truck came back I was so fired up that I played with garbage truck toys. It was a big deal. Then I wanted to be Superman. How many of you ever wanted to be Superman in your life? I remember running on these 8-foot stacks of wood out beside our house. I really thought I would fly when I jumped off of it. I had just watched Superman and I knew I could do it. If he could do it I could do it. I ran and jumped and BAM! I hit the ground hard! I can still remember the ground right before my face hit it. My Superman phase ended. Well, as I’ve thought about my life, I think I’ve spent too much of my life being influenced by others rather than influencing them. I think if I was honest with you today I’ve spent too much of my life being negatively influenced by other people rather We all influence others. We can either do it for good or bad. Jesus challenges us to use our influence for good. Stop going with the flow. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Stop worrying what everyone thinks of us as much as to start worrying about what God thinks of us and obeying who he is calling us to be. Studies show that the average introvert will influence 10,000 people in his or her lifetime. That’s the average introvert. Extraverts can influence over a million people. So who has God put in your life that you can influence? How are you influencing them? Look at what Jesus says. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ talks about the blessed life. That word “blessed” could be translated as “divine favor.” It could even be translated as “happiness”. He’s laid out 7 different characteristics for how we can experience happiness and joy in our lives. Jesus teaches in verse 13: “You are the salt of the earth.” Here is what Jesus says, “What good is salt if it has lost its flavor?” What good is it if it no longer flavors? He says, “Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled under foot as worthless. You are the light of the world. Like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” Like a city on a hilltop – you can’t hide a city on hilltop. In fact, just FYI, do you know the first visible sign of life on earth from space is the Las Vegas Strip? Astronauts say it’s the very first sign of life on earth. That’s kind of scary when you really think about it, isn’t it? I’m not sure that’s the best endorsement for planet earth that we can have. Jesus is saying that you can’t hide light like that. You can’t hide it. It’s visible. He says “no one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. In stead a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way let your good deed shine out for all to see so that everyone will praise you Heavenly Father.” Jesus says that you are the salt of the earth. Salt in the ancient world was very important. It wasn’t just something that they put on their food that raised their blood pressure. It was more than that. The Romans called salt “theon” which is the word for “divine.” In fact, in Roman culture the second most important thing was salt. There was the sun and there was salt. Why was salt so important? Because salt was the primary way you would preserve your meat and food. They couldn’t throw it in the freezer. What they would do was take salt and rub it into the meat. Once they rubbed it thoroughly into the meet it would preserve it and keep it longer so they could take it with them and eat it on the road. Roman soldiers would often be paid in salt. This is how they got the phrase – true story – he’s not worth his salt. He’s not worth his pay. He’s not worth what we gave him. Salt had two primary functions. One, it would season. The second, it would preserve. So friends, we’re called to be seasoning in our world and to be a preservative to our world. We’re to season the world by bringing the goodness of God and the joy that he has put into our lives into the world. When you do that and season the world then you cause other people to be thirsty. Have you ever noticed if you eat something really salty you get thirsty? Christ is also challenging us to preserve the world. To literally rub into our culture and be a preservative in our culture for God and for good. You see, as we come into the world and we interact with people we’ll either increase their joy and level of happiness or we can decrease it and take it away. The decision and the choice is up to us. William Hart who wrote a book called The 100 Most Influential People in Human History. When you pick the book up you think immediately that Jesus will be first. I mean, who has been more influential in all of human history than Jesus Christ? From just a historical point of view you’d be pretty hard pressed to name someone else. But do you know what William Hart did? He put Jesus third. He said first was Mohammad. Second was Sir Isaac Newton. Third was Jesus. He said the reason he put Jesus as the third most influential people was not because of his own account. On his own account Jesus would be the most influential person. Hart said it was Jesus’ followers that have done a relatively poor job of living out his message. If you look at the history there are seasons when many people have done amazing things for the good of the world and the glory of God and then you look at other seasons and you see where Christians have done some pretty horrible things rather than being salt. I think sometimes we underestimate our influence. I don’t know that our friends are really concerned or care about what we say. I think they are a lot more concerned about what we do. I’m not sure how concerned they are about how we preach to them and what we say to them. I think they are a lot more concerned about how we live our lives and if we are truly authentic. Who is it in your sphere that God is calling you to touch? Who is in your sphere that God is calling you to reach out to? To encourage, to cheerlead, to make a little time for … who is in your sphere? Even introverts influence 10,000 people in their lifetime. Don’t underestimate your impact.

Share 0 I continue to receive emails from parents asking about modern day prodigal children. Whether the prodigal is defying family rules, living an undesirable life style, or leaving to who-knows-where, it’s a heart wrenching experience for any parent. Parents have poured so much energy, time and love into their son or daughters life. I was prompted to blog on this subject after receiving an email from a Mom who was complaining that her son was getting drunk, staying out late, waking up the family at all hours and smoking weed to boot! Now get this, she is planning on sending him away to a private University next fall. Let me get this straight, you are going to spend 40K to send this kid to a private school and he is drunk and smoking weed all the time? What is wrong with this picture? Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go” That does not mean train up a child in the way YOU think he should go. It speaks specifically to what way God would have your kid go (according to his bent). Let’s face it. Some kids learn the hard-way. Just like the true prodigal son in the Bible, he went to a far away land. Where no one would recognize him. After being gone for sometime he realized that his father’s farmhands were much better off than he. He then returned to his home, and his father said, ”Oh, look what the cat dragged in, did you learn your lesson out there, big boy?” No. That’s not what it says. It says, ”The Father saw him from a far. And ran towards him and embraced him. He put a ring on his finger, and put a robe on him. And feasted on the fatten calf.” I realize that the prodigal son story is one of salvation. It’s really not a study in family relationships. But it does prove a good point– and that is, some people have to hit bottom and be put on their own, to realize that a new direction or path must be taken. Here are a few suggestions if you are dealing with a modern day prodigal: If he/she has left the family, make no attempt to contact them. No, not even a birthday card, and certainly not a birthday card with money in it! Let all contacts be initiated by your son or daughter. Exercise patience, you might have you wait a while! If you prodigal lives with you, you need to find of way of saying (if they are 18 or older) “This isn’t working. We as parents are holding you back. We are too old fashioned for you. You need to go live life the way you think it oughta be lived.” What you are doing here is showing him/her the door with a smile on your face. I know you are saying to yourself right now, ”Leman, where is he/she going to get the money to live by himself?” Well, I don’t have the foggiest idea, but it would be a great experience for him to get out, live with his buddy and try to make it financially. Would I continue to pay insurance on a car that he owns? No. I wouldn’t give him/her a dime. There are two approaches here. The slow leak theory is when you watch your kid spiral down week after week. The blow out theory is when you bring things to a head. Some kids grow up easy, and some with great difficulty. But becoming the enabler, and allowing your son/daughter to live under your roof, eat your food, then disrespect you repeatedly, doesn’t help your child and it certainly doesn’t help you. If you are going through this heartache right now, know that you are not alone. Other parents have dealt effectively with their prodigal. Yes, continue to pray for your son or daughter. Remember that God sometimes puts us through trials to make us stronger. Realize that this tough time on you might be a necessary step in your child’s faith journey and coming to the truth of what life is all about. As always your comments are welcome! What say you? http://www.birthorderguy.com Used by permission.