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Scripture says that the Lord left nations in the promised land “to test Israel by them (that is, all who had not experienced any of the wars of Canaan); only in order that the generations of the sons of Israel might be taught war” (Judg. 3:1-2). To complete our spiritual maturity, the Lord must “test” us with enemies; like Israel, we must be “taught war.” I realize that most of us prefer peace. Yes, as much as it depends on us, we should live at peace with all men (Rom. 12:18). Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but we are in a worldwide conflict with principalities and powers (see Eph. 6:12). You see, there is a “time for war” (Eccl. 3:8). As Christians, we must accept and adjust to this truth. To stand victorious, we need to expand our understanding of who Jesus Christ is. The Bible says Christ “will go forth like a warrior, He will arouse His zeal like a man of war. He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry. He will prevail against His enemies” (Isa. 42:13). Even the rapture must be understood in military terms: “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first” (1 Thess. 4:16). The imagery of the Lord’s coming is explosive: He comes with a “shout” (or “cry of command,” a “war cry”). He’s followed by the stunning “voice of the “archangel,” then a blast of the “trumpet of God,” so loud, so undeniable that the powers of the heavens are confronted and collapse! Finally, the very “dead in Christ” begin to rise! The whole operation is fiercely militant in nature. One may argue, yes the Lord is coming to war, but His first goal is to rescue us. Well, I am certainly not against being rescued, having been rescued many times by the Lord! But the picture of the church is also one of militancy. Remember, Jesus said, “I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it” (Matt. 16:18). Consider again the imagery: it is the church that is advancing against the gates of hell, and it is hell that is not prevailing! The Need for War Truly, I am for peace, but I recognize that I cannot have peace unless I am first trained for war. It is my training for war that secures my ability to have peace. Indeed, it was during the times of warfare – of struggle and battle – when I have grown the most in courage, in faith, in sacrifice, and in love. The battle stretched me beyond the boundaries of my spirituality. Yes, when I was fighting for my family, church or community, it was the fight itself that defined and established my spiritual growth. Indeed, as I have grown older, I have come to understand that every generation is ordained to confront and defeat the enemies of its era. In the last hundred years, men and women fought in WWI; then came the Great Depression, and poverty and fear were conquered. WWII began, and again a generation rose and saved the world from unspeakable tyranny. Next, America rose to stand against the spread of godless Soviet communism. You see, every generation, at some point, will face a war that must be won. In that fight we learn lessons of courage. Do we see this generational warfare? Thus, we cannot interpret the fallen conditions of our world and assume the end of the world is upon us. No! What we are seeing in our world is the battleground of our war against the godless enemies of our times. Remember, I believe in the rapture; I also believe we are in the season of the end. But I cannot excuse myself from facing the giants of today’s wars. As our forefathers had to succeed on the battlefield against great and highly trained enemies, so we too must overcome the radical agenda of those who seek to mainstream perversion into our society. Some of us have fought in physical wars-and we must pray righteous conclusions for these wars as well. Others are fighting to see our nation returned to Christ. I know some are weary, yet it is time that we too “might be taught war.” Regardless of the battle before us, no matter how dark the spiritual atmosphere becomes, we must fight for the purposes of God in the earth. We cannot relax our intercession nor surrender our vision for our nation’s future. We have not entered the day of irreversible darkness. You are no doubt familiar with the Lord of the Rings trilogy written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien, an Englishman, denied that his work mirrored the realities of World War II. Yet much of his manuscript was written during the height of that great conflict, when entire kingdoms were at war. He was clearly influenced by his time. His book is a metaphor for all times and conflicts, especially highlighting the role of common men to attain uncommon levels of valor and victory against forces of evil. In a scene from the third Lord of the Rings movies, The Return of the King , King Aragorn seeks to inspire his outnumbered men to fight in spite of what seems like sure defeat: Hell’s swarming legions have amassed before them and the courage of Aragorn’s fighters is weakening. Riding along the front lines of his gathered, but lowly army, he shouts: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. . . . This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of the West! Let us also put aside our fears and especially the burden of a passive, prayerless existence. Let us take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And let us fight for all we hold dear in our times and culture. Yes, a day may come when the world will fully succumb, for a sprinkling of years, to the forces of evil. But it is not this day. This day we fight!

You will be astonished at this information. Christians should not be ignorant of God’s plans for His chosen people in His Word. Jews are, biblically speaking, the “chosen people of God” and dearly loved by Him. Another reason for Christians to support the nation of Israel is because of the Abrahamic Covenant. We read of God’s promise in Genesis 12:2-3, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (see also Genesis 27:29; Numbers 24:9). Here are a few extraordinary facts about Israel: Geography: · Israel is only 1/6 of 1% of the landmass of the Middle East. · Israel is roughly half the size of Lake Michigan. · The Sea of Galilee , at 695 ft. below sea level, is the lowest freshwater lake in the world. · The Dead Sea is the lowest surface point on earth, at about 1,373 feet below sea level. · Israel is the only nation in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees. · Jericho is the oldest continuously inhabited town in the world. · The Mount of Olives in Jerusalem is the oldest, continually used cemetery in the world. Demographics: · Israel ‘s population is half the size of Metro New York City. · Israel has only 2% of the population of the Middle East. · Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees per capita in the world. · Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of scientists and technicians per capita in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of engineers per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of PhD’s per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of physicians per capita in the world. · Israel has the largest percentage of its workforce employed in technical professions in the world. · Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation in the world, per capita. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where the Christian population has grown over the last 50 years. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Christians, Muslims and Jews are all free to vote. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where women enjoy full political rights. Economics: · Israel has the largest number of startup companies per capita in the world. · Israel is the world’s largest wholesale diamond center, finally surpassing Antwerp in the 1970’s. · Most of the cut & polished diamonds in the world come from Israel. · Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies outside of the US and Canada. · Israel was the first country to have a free trade agreement with the United States. · Apart from the Silicon Valley, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world. · The cell phone was developed in Israel at Motorola’s largest development center. · The Voice Mail technology was developed in Israel. · In the early 80’s, IBM chose an Israeli-designed computer chip as the brains for its first personal computers. · The first anti-virus software for computers was developed in Israel in 1979. · Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed in Israel by Microsoft. · Both the Pentium-4 and Centrino processors were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel . · The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel. · Israel has the highest number of home computers per capita in the world. · The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ was developed in 1996 by 4 young Israelis. · Israel was the first Middle Eastern country to launch a satellite, the Ofek 1, on September 19, 1988. Culture: · Hebrew is the only case of a dead national language being revived in all of world history. · Hebrew had not been spoken as a native tongue by anyone for centuries. · Today it is the native tongue of millions of people. · Israel has more museums per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel has more orchestras per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books translated from other languages than any other nation in the world. · Israel reads more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · The most independent and free Arabic press in the Middle East is in Israel Military/Security: · Israel has the largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the US . · Israel has the world’s most impenetrable airline security. · Israel spends more money per capita on its own protection than any country in the world. Other: · Israel’s dairy cows are the most productive dairy cows in the world. · They average 25,432 pounds of milk per cow per year, compared to just 18,747 pounds from American cows; 17,085 from Canadian cows; 13,778 from European Union cows; 10,207 from Australian cows; and 6,600 from Chinese cows. · Israel has more in-vitro fertilization per capita than anywhere in the world, and it’s free. · Israelis, per capita, are the world’s biggest consumers of fruits and vegetables. · Of the 175 UN Security Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against Israel . · Of the 690 UN General Assembly resolutions voted on after 1990, 429 were directed against Israel. So what must we do to support God’s people, even today? Listen to the words of the psalmist: Psalms 122:6 “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, they shall prosper that love you.” Jewish Federation of the North Shore 39 Norman Street, Suite 302 Salem, MA 01970 978-224-4900 info@jfns.org

In 1927, the famed British philosopher Bertrand Russell wrote an essay entitled, “Why I Am Not a Christian.” Russell’s essay inspired the title of this post. By “Christian,” I mean someone who has trusted their life to Jesus Christ as Crucified Savior and Resurrected Lord and seeks to follow Him each day. (I’m keenly aware that the term “Christian” has been hijacked to mean different things, hence the need to define.) Three things to keep in mind about this list: 1) This isn’t a list of theological reasons (e.g., God chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world and the Holy Spirit revealed Christ to my heart). 2) This isn’t a list of why I am indebted to Jesus (He owns me; He bought me with His blood; He died for my sins, etc.) Instead, they are intellectual/emotional/experiential reasons why I trust in and follow Jesus. 3) This isn’t an exhaustive list (I can certainly list more reasons), and it doesn’t reflect any particular order or priority. At the end of the list, I have a question for readers who aren’t following Jesus at the present time. And I’m really looking forward to hearing what they have to say. Why I’m a Christian . . . 1. Because life makes no sense to me apart from Christ. Nor does it have any purpose. 2. Because I’ve tried to not believe in Jesus, and I find that I cannot. (Perhaps this is why the early Christians were called “believers.” We believe for reasons that we cannot naturally explain. We believe because we believe. I have certainly struggled with various doubts along the way and questioned why God does and doesn’t do certain things, but that’s a different issue.) 3. Because I’ve never seen the Gospel narratives refuted successfully. Every critique that’s sought to debunk them throughout the years has been discounted under careful scrutiny and scholarship. The Gospels have stood the test of time. 4. Because I’ve never seen the resurrection of Jesus refuted successfully. Upon careful study of all the historical data, it actually takes more faith to deny His resurrection than to believe it occurred. 5. Because it makes no sense to me that Jesus of Nazareth isn’t who He said He was – the Messiah, the Son of the living God. No human being has had nearly the kind of effect on world history as Jesus has (e.g., I’m writing this post in 2012 – what does “2012” mean?). No serious historian denies that Jesus of Nazareth existed (there is more historical attestation for His existence than there is to Julius Caesar and many other ancient figures). And C.S. Lewis’ trilemma – Jesus is either a lunatic, a liar, or lord – rings true for me. 6. Because I can’t help but see the biblical narrative of Creation, Fall, and Redemption echoed in every play, every work of art, every human story, every drama, every movie, and the news I read each day. The Christian story is deeply embedded in the soundtrack of human history and art. 7. Because every time I meet a true follower of Jesus for the first time, I feel like I’ve known him or her all my life. 8. Because Jesus is the most compelling, intriguing, awe-inspiring, and amazing person I know of who is worthy of the greatest admiration, obedience, love, and (uniquely) worship. To my mind, truth, justice, and beauty are all grounded in Him, and His story (as told in the Gospels) trumps every other story known to humanity. 9. Because I’ve never seen any religion or philosophy deliver people from a life of carnality and bondage to addictions. In my experience and observation at least, Jesus transforms people’s lives greater than anything else on the face of the earth. 10. Because I have a deep and unshakeable belief that the Lord Jesus Christ is with me and taking care of me . . . and has all of my life. I cannot imagine life without Christ. 11. Because there is no rational explanation for some of the prayers that I (and others I know) have seen answered “in Jesus’ name.” 12. Because I don’t weep easily, but I readily cry whenever I detect the fingerprints of my Lord or behold His handiwork. What are the reasons why you haven’t trusted your life to Jesus?

How should Christians relate to a secular society that does not know Jesus? Paul’s letter to Titus sheds light on this scenario, showing us how God’s grace should motivate Christians to be good citizens and neighbors. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. Titus 3:1–8 Christians are a minority in our secular culture, which largely doesn’t honor Jesus. That’s not going to change, but there’s an ongoing debate among Christians about how we approach a secular culture that doesn’t agree with us about Jesus. As we think about our relationship with our society, it’s important to remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. It’s with this grace in mind that Paul teaches us, through his letter to Titus, how we should respond to a secular society. Grace results in good citizens The first way Christians should engage a secular culture is the same way we always have. We’re to be good citizens, obey the law, submit to authority, and not cause rebellion, strife, or insurrection. We are to be obedient to the law except for when it would require us to disobey Jesus. Christians need to live under the law of the land—it’s one of the ways we manifest our faith in meekness through Jesus Christ. Remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. Grace results in good works Christians should care about the people living around us in our city, and we should be active in working toward the common good. We have a responsibility according to this text that goes beyond the walls of the church. Yes, our priority should be the people in the church, but we are also responsible for the well-being of our neighbors and our city. Grace results in good words Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them. This is one of the ways we reflect the goodness of God. It’s not that we don’t call out false doctrine, but we do it in a respectful and loving way. Christians should care about the people living around us in our city. We have more opportunity than anyone in the history of the world to use our words negatively on the Internet. Words are critically important. When Jesus’ disciples were criticized for not ceremonially washing their hands, Jesus emphasized that it’s not what goes into our mouth that makes us unclean—it’s what comes out of our heart. If the gospel, through the power of the Holy Spirit, washes us from sin and gives us a new identity, then good words can flow out of a good heart. Grace results in good manners Christians should be courteous to all people. Good manners are very important, because the basic posture of a Christian is that we see others as more important than us. That means we treat them with respect, dignity, and honor. Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them.

Share 0 Satan tempts us to sin and stops us in our tracks by accusations, but his most insidious weapon is deception, because we don’t know when we are being deceived. Through deception, the father of lies has led the whole world astray (see Revelation 12:9). That is why truth sets us free and why the belt of truth is the first piece of our protective armor. Jesus prayed that we would be kept from the evil one by being sanctified in the truth of God’s Word (see John 17:15-17). James admonished us not to be deceived (see James 1:16). There are three primary avenues through which we can be deceived: (1) self-deception, (2) false prophets/teachers and (3) deceiving spirits. Scripture identifies at least eight ways that we can deceive ourselves. First, we can deceive ourselves if we listen to the word of God but don’t do it (see James 1:22-25). “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). We will be self-deceived if we think the Bible is just a textbook that provides us with knowledge. We will hardly be aware of how self-centered and self-righteous we are, but others will likely see the hypocrisy. When the Bible is a mirror it knocks us down a notch, picks us back up, and trains us in righteousness. Second, we can deceive ourselves if we say we have no sin (see 1 John1:8). Having sin and being sin are two different issues. We are not sinless saints; we are saints who sin. If we keep saying that we have done nothing wrong, we may start believing it. Third, we can deceive ourselves if we think we are something when we are not (see Romans 12:3; Galatians 6:3). We are children of God, by the grace of God, who are living our lives before God. Those who think they are special don’t know they really are! Fourth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are wise in this age (see 1 Corinthians 3:18-19). In professing ourselves to be wise we become fools (see Romans 1:22). “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). Wisdom is seeing life from God’s perspective, not ours. Someday we shall see fully, but right now we have one eye starting to slightly open. We don’t have a clue what is going right around us in the spiritual realm. Fifth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are religious but do not keep a tight rein on our tongue (see James 1:26). Spirit-filled Christians exhibit self-control and only use their words to build up others (see Ephesians 4:29-30). Those who can’t control their tongues are denying the anger within them. Sixth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we will not reap what we sow (see Galatians 6:7). Everything we think and do has consequences, and we will one day give an account for our words and our actions. Seventh, we can deceive ourselves when we think the unrighteous will inherit the kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We cannot defend a sinful lifestyle and claim to be Christians by calling sin something other than what it is. Eighth, we can deceive ourselves when we associate with bad company and think it will not corrupt us (see 1 Corinthians 15:33). Sin is contagious. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12, NASB). Dr. Neil www.discipleshipcounsel.com For Spanish see www.ficmm.org/blog

John’s Gospel begins, just like the book of Genesis, with: in the beginning. In Genesis, God speaks, and darkness is divided from the light (Gen. 1:4). Darkness and light have never successfully cohabitated. So it is no surprise that John noted in his Gospel that . . . the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend (or, overcome) it (John 1:5). There has been a battle between light and darkness since time began. The battle only grew more fierce when Jesus, the Light, walked upon the earth. The darkness hated Jesus. It inspired religious leaders to oppose him. It blinded people to His message. And, it ultimately led His own friends to deny and betray Him. Darkness launched every missile in its devilish arsenal to overcome the Light. Yet the Light continues to shine brightly. It probably did not dawn on anyone sitting on the lawn the day Jesus delivered his epic Sermon on the Mount, that they had just been deployed into a cataclysmic battle. Jesus had simply said, “You are the light of the world . . .” (Matt. 5:14). At the time, that statement might have sounded encouraging, even heartwarming. But it was a battle cry. Jesus knew full well what it was like to be light. He was under no delusions that darkness would welcome Him or forge a truce. It would be a fight to the end. Either the Light would prevail, or the darkness would. There was no room, or interest, in compromise. It was a battle to the death. And whether the disciples were ready or not, they were entering a war zone. It should not surprise Christians today when they are attacked, criticized, mocked, or lampooned by the media. It should be just the opposite. It ought to baffle us when we are not in the midst of an evil cannonade. Yet American Christians are continually expressing dismay when the world around them does not affirm or embrace them. Too many Christians have been allowed to enter the Church without being informed that they are entering a spiritual battlefield. Jesus told His disciples: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you . . . (John 15:20). I recently was in Nigeria. It currently has the sad distinction of having more Christian martyrs than any other country in the world. The Islamic terrorist group, Boko Haram, is determined to drive every Christian out of northern Nigeria and to create a strict, Muslim state. To that end, they have murdered hundreds of Christians. In January 2014, they murdered Christians on every Sunday in the month. In February, they killed hundreds of innocent people, including over forty children at a boarding school. These people, in the name of their religion, butchered children and defenseless villagers. Not surprisingly, northern Nigeria is the most backward, impoverished, and uneducated region of the country. The darkness is striving to keep people in bondage. I must confess to you that I have had a heavy heart for the dear Christians in Nigeria who are suffering from such vicious brutality. There the battle between light and darkness is evident for everyone to see. We in the West certainly owe it to our Christian brothers and sisters to be praying for them as each week, they endanger their lives by attending church. But we in America ought not to assume that we are safe from war. We may not have hooded thugs barging into our church auditoriums firing machine guns, but the combatants are just as earnest. The media today is bombarding society with its ungodly messages. The politically correct police will use lies, slander, and bullying to ensure that their version of truth is loudly heralded, why opponents are smeared as bigoted, racist, and ignorant. Christian values are publicly mocked. Christ’s holy name is brazenly blasphemed. Pressures to conform to the standards of darkness are as relentless as they are intense. I talked with a newlywed recently. He told me he was concerned about how he would raise his children in a world that is so opposed to Christian values and truth. I wasn’t sure how to answer him. It will be difficult. The darkness has made numerous inroads into society. It has built strongholds in many churches and denominations. It dominates much of the media. Darkness is as determined to snuff out the light today as it was in Jesus’ time. This is not an easy time to be a Christian. It is even harder to live like one. But this is the age God has placed us. Every “light” needs to be accounted for. Every light must shine brightly. This is no time to have a dim or hidden light. We need to shine more brightly than we ever have before. The darkness is coming for you. May you shine brightly. www.blackabyministries.org

Neil Anderson’s Freedom in Christ Ministry provides powerful, relevant resources for fighting spiritual battles. One of the chief battles every Christian faces is the struggle with fear. “Courage is not the absence of fear, but it is living by faith and doing what is right in the face of untruths. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Proverbs 1:7. Godly fear is the only fear that can overcome all other fears. Irrational fears compel us to live irresponsible lives or prevent us from doing that which is responsible and from being bold in sharing our faith. Lies must be identified, because every irrational fear is based on a falsehood. We must pray for God to reveal what lies beneath the surface of our worries, our controlling fears and pray for victory over them. Here is an example of a prayer that will dispel fear: “Dear God, I confess that I have allowed fear to control me and that lack of faith is sin. Thank You for Your forgiveness. I recognize that “…You have not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and discipline.” 1 Timothy 1:7. I renounce any spirit of fear operating in my life and ask You to reveal any and all controlling fears in my life and the lied behind them. I desire to live by faith in You and in the power of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Many fears can plague us, and the first step to freedom is to identify them. Here is a list that may assist you in discovering why you are afraid: fear of death, fear of never loving or being loved, fear of Satan, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of being victimized, fear of rejection or disapproval, fear of intimacy, divorce, or poverty. We can fear mental or physical illness, the death of a loved one or being a hopeless case. We may fear individuals. Many fear losing their salvation, not being loved by God or committing the unpardonable sin. As you analyze the sources of your fear, ask several questions. When did you first experience a fear and what events triggered it? What lies have you believed that are the basis for the fear? How has the fear kept you from living a responsible life or compromised your witness? Confess any active or passive way that you have allowed fear to control you. Work out a plan of responsible behavior, and determine in advance what your response will be to any fear object. Commit yourself to follow through with your plan. If you do the thing you fear the most, the death of fear is certain. Pray this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I renounce the fear of (name the fear and associated lies) because God has not given me a spirit of fear. I choose to live by faith in You, and I acknowledge You as the only legitimate fear object in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Dispelling fear is a prayer project. Wear your spiritual armor and ask for God’s discernment to fight your fears.” For additional help with fear, read Neal T. Anderson and Rich Miller, Freedom from Fear. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1999.

What are you trusting God to do in your life today? Do you need to address some things in your health, break some old habits and start some new ones? Maybe you have potential for promotion on the horizon at work, or you just need a job. It could be a breakthrough in your relationships—in your marriage, with coworkers, with adult or teenage children. Are you asking yourself: can I trust myself to do what’s needed to turn things around? Can I trust the other person to do their part in relationship repair? Can I continue to be patient and trust God? Trust is a major factor, and must be handled intentionally. Remember the formula: Information + Insight + Action = an Intentional Life in Christ. Trust always requires action to move forward. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of broken trust. Are you in a fractured relationship because of your betrayal of trust? Your behavior put you in this situation and only your behavior can repair the breach. Trust is earned—it’s a gift that someone chooses to give to you. When you rob someone of their ability to trust you, you have to be realistic. They are unable to immediately trust you again. In order to repair trust: Find out what’s really important to them in the area where you’ve been unfaithful. Ask them, “What do I need to do to regain your trust?” Then faithfully work to retain their trust by proving to be completely trustworthy with your words and behaviors. If you are the one struggling to deal with the hurt because someone betrayed your trust, it’s vital for you to totally and unreservedly forgive that person. That sounds extremely hard, but it’s not impossible when you follow God’s example. Think about how He forgave you. He knew long before Christ’s death and resurrection that millions of people over thousands of years would refuse Him, and He forgave anyway. When you forgive: Be specific in communicating exactly what you need to forgive. Recognize your emotions and let them assist you in clarifying your thoughts, helping you move ahead. Don’t become discouraged if it takes some time to let go. Forgiveness is often a daily, ongoing act requiring commitment and persistence. Trust God without reservation and ask Him to heal your broken relationships and renew the trust with those who have hurt you. Intentional ONE THING Challenge If you could do ONE THING and know that it would make a significant, lasting, possibly life-changing difference in your life, would you do it? Dr. Carlson shares the power of ONE THING and why you should get started doing your ONE THING today. Tell Us What are you trusting God to do in your life this year? We’d love to hear your stories. Post your comments below. www.theintentionallife.com . Used by permission.

There’s no end to what we can learn about the brain. Check out this now basic information: “The brain has the storage capacity of 6 million years of the Wall Street Journal” (Greg Iles, quoted in “A Better Brain at Any Age”). An online article gives similar information: “For comparison, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, 2.5 petabytes would be enough to hold three million hours of TV shows. You would have to leave the TV running continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage.” http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-memory-capacity A few other amazing facts about the amazing brain that God created: How much does the average brain weigh? 3 lbs. Most of the brain’s cells are formed before birth , but most of the connections among cells are made during infancy and early childhood. When does the brain reach full size? Age 6 …As a child grows, the number of cells remains stable, but the cells grow in size. The brain is made up of about 75% water. Your brain consists of about 100 billion neurons. There are from 1,000 to 10,000 synapses (gaps where neurotransmitters and electricity are exchange) for each neuron. At what age is the brain fully mature? Age 25 There are no pain receptors in the brain. There are 100,000 miles of blood vessels in the brain. About 70% of visits to the doctor for physical ailments are attributed to psychological factors. Every time you recall a memory or have a new thought, you are creating a new connection in your brain. The brain is always changing itself! Stronger, more intense emotional connections are linked to memories prompted by scent. It’s not true that humans only use 10% of their brains; each part of the brain has a purpose. When you sleep, you’re virtually paralyzed because your brain creates a hormone to prevent you from acting out your dreams. Sleep may be the best time for your brain to consolidate (file away) all your memories from the day. Lack of sleep may hurt your ability to create new memories. Memory is formed by associations , so if you want help remembering things, create associations for yourself. Our brain generates 20-25 watts of power continually and uses 20% of the body’s total energy.

Dad, did you know that your relationship with your daughter is the most important relationship in her life? It is. Enjoy it. Encourage her. She is seeking your approval. A good dad in the home makes everyone’s life better! If your daughter feels loved and valued by her dad, she won’t go seeking love in the wrong places. If you don’t put away your critical eye and flaw-picking, you will destroy your daughter. Here are some helpful tips: The key relationship for your daughter is your daughter’s relationship with her dad. If not dad, then a male like grandfather or a much older brother can take that role. You, Dad, represent all of masculinity to your daughter. Dads can bless their daughters by talking about how young men view girls, how her outfits effect boys and how boys are affected by her actions. It doesn’t take long for a daughter to get inside her father’s heart. If you have a critical eye, or are a flaw-picker, stop before you make her life miserable. Give her lots of encouragement. She is looking to be accepted by YOU. She needs to feel valued by her dad. Wives, never put your husband down in front of your daughter. It shows her that she can tear into her own husband some day. A good dad means taking an interest in what your daughter is interested in, encouraging her, being a steady hand in her life, and listening to her heart. She needs to know that you love her no matter what. Taken from Be the Dad She Needs You to Be. Used by permission.

Cleaning; it’s the upkeep side of life. It’s the irritating drudgery that’s always following us around with broom in hand. Cleaning is the voracious vacuum that’s never satisfied, the frantic feather duster that spews more dust than it captures, and the less than palatable reality that things don’t clean themselves. Cleaning is dirt management. The imagery is one of a collection of plastic buckets, dripping mops, obnoxiously scented cleaning supplies, deteriorating sponges of assorted colors, latex gloves and sweat. Who has time to clean? Much less, who wants to clean? The definition of cleaning in the Encarta Dictionary reads “the activity of making things clean, usually in a domestic or commercial environment.” It seems that even the definition of cleaning is redundant. Sadly, cleaning tends to carry a negative connotation to it. It’s just one of those things that we tend to grimace about when we’ve got to do it, or even think about doing it. It’s not on our top ten list of the most engaging things to do. There’s an old African Proverb that says, “When making a fire people like to join you, when cleaning the ashes you are often alone.” There are two sides to most of life; doing something and then cleaning up after we’ve done it. Most of us like the first part of that, but not the second because that involves cleaning. Cleaning seems oddly self-defeating as well. We clean things knowing full well that we’re going to have to clean again. It’s not like there’s anything of real permanence to what we’re doing. Cleaning is not an effort that we can complete and feel some sustaining pride in what we’ve done because what we’ve done we’re going to have to do all over again in just the same way we just did it. There is no conclusion to the process of cleaning. What’s frustrating is that you can’t eliminate dirt; you can only move it to someplace else. Therefore, we never come to a point where it’s done forever and ever. If you think about it further, cleaning as an action is not about obtaining something. It has nothing to do with the further acquisition of anything, nor does it have anything to do with the improvement or advancement of something. Cleaning adds nothing to our lives except cleanliness, and that’s only temporary anyway. In terms of resources or assets or improvements, it gains us none at all. Rather, cleaning is energy and time that we have to put into maintaining what we already have, which adds absolutely nothing to what we already have. Cleaning in and of itself is an acknowledgement that nothing’s permanent and that everything requires maintenance. The acquisition of something doesn’t insure the continuation of that thing. Cleaning clearly lets us know that. We can buy it, barter it, order it, build it, swap it, charge it, win it, and even steal it, but we’re going to have to clean it. Such is the dusty and dirty reality of life. Our Lives Too often our lives are all about the acquisition of things, but not much about the maintenance of them. In reference to ourselves personally, we have been bred with a fairly fierce mentality of acquisition, whether that’s the acquisition of education, licenses, certificates, knowledge, expertise, wisdom, maturity, social acumen, spiritual depth or whatever it might be. It might be about vigorously cultivating our gifts, talents, and natural abilities. Such goals are certainly healthy, admirable and of great value. But in the obtaining and cultivating, do we ever do any cleaning? Do we ever even come close to realizing that things just don’t perpetuate themselves? Does it dawn on us that if we don’t clean, what we’ve amassed can be diminished by the accumulation of filth? Rationalizing Not Cleaning An unknown author wrote, “Law of Window Cleaning: It’s on the other side.” We don’t do a whole lot of personal cleaning because we like to think “it’s on the other side.” We’re all about acquisition and growth, but not much about personal cleaning; about going through the various rooms, crawl spaces, nooks and crannies of our lives, getting on our knees and doing some serious spring cleaning regardless of what time of year it is. That’s not our focus because it’s not our preference. Cleaning is a distant sidebar to a much larger agenda. It’s really not all that imperative. Dust never killed anyone, and who knows, a little dirt might be good for the soul. A few cobwebs aren’t going to rot anything, and a handful of dust bunnies aren’t going to do anything either other than roll around a little. Besides, if there’s really all that much dirt, it’s “on the other side” anyway. So why clean? Seeing dirt “on the other side” is really more about preferring to ignore the dirt in our lives. Cleaning is about dirt. If it weren’t for dirt, we wouldn’t clean. Dirt is as much a reality of our lives as are the things that we amass. In our own lives we prefer to ignore the dirt. We ignore it because it demands that we do something about it. But more than that, we appear to ignore dirt because we want to believe that we’re above dirt. We want to believe that dirt doesn’t collect in our lives; that we’ve outgrown the whole dirt thing and that dirt is the stuff everyone else deals with. We’re clean. We’re good people. We aren’t prone to those kinds of mistakes. We’re ethical. We don’t have any dirt, and if we do it’s just a scant bit of it at best. When we make that assumption and live in that manner we set ourselves up to dramatically let ourselves down. Yet exactly what kind of dirt are we talking about? What are our cobwebs really? And those dust bunnies, what are they? Our Dirt We all have dirt, and probably lots of it. Some of our dirt is shameful and some of its outright embarrassing. Maybe some of our dirt is immoral, unethical and possibly illegal. Maybe our dirt is choice that we made to short-sheet an employer, short-circuit a relationship or short-change a friend. It’s possible that our dirt is a layered collection of lies, distortions and rationalizations that we rigorously fabricated in order to dump our dirt on someone else. Maybe our dirt has been carted along with us for years and years because we could never bring ourselves to deal with it. It’s possible that our dirt is a betrayal or an abandonment of someone or something. Maybe it’s a blatant rejection, or a wound that we intentionally inflicted. Or it might be that our dirt is brand-spanking new; therefore we’ve either rushed in our panic to hide it, or we have no idea what to do with it so we walk around in it. It might be that our dirt isn’t even something that we’ve done yet, but something that we plan to do. Maybe our dirt isn’t about an action at all. Maybe it’s about an attitude, about hating someone, or being jealous, or wishing ill for someone, or harboring a spirit of resentment. Maybe it’s our unwillingness to forgive, or let go, or let the past be the past. Our dirt can be a whole bunch of different things, but its dirt. Accountability – Saying “Yes, I Have Dirt” Who wants to admit that they’re dirty? More than that, who wants to admit how dirty their dirt really is? The hard truth is that some of our dirt is pathetic, putrid, rancid and raunchy. We’ve covered in some pretty reeking and outright foul stuff. Denying it doesn’t remove it, and in no way does denial sweeten it. Placing blame and rationalizing and justifying doesn’t change the reality of our dirt any more than cleaning with a dirty rag somehow makes us clean. As my father was fond of saying, “you can’t put perfume on a pig.” If we want to rid ourselves of dirt, we must admit to it . . . all of it. Honesty – A Necessity for a Complete Cleaning If we want a full cleaning, we can’t do that in isolation, although we’d like to. Cleaning is a corporate activity. If we want an iridescently deep cleaning we can only scrub out the deepest dirt with the scouring pad of a repentant attitude. That means we confess our dirt to those we harmed. We confess the wrongs, the behaviors, the choices, the attitudes, the selfishness, the intent to harm, the greed . . . we fess up and we confess it. That’s the scouring pad. Then we get on our hands and knees and we take the detergent of honesty and accountability and we clean. When we do that we will live with lightness, vigor and a freedom that we could not have imagined. Cleaning Requires Maturity We have a whole lot of people who walk around seeing themselves as shiny clean. We have this spit and polish attitude about ourselves. Yet, we’re all dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we have to stay dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we’re dirty people. It simply means that we’re all fallen and that we all make mistakes. Bad choices are made in this world, and we make our fair share of them. Being accountable to our dirt and then rigorously cleaning it up allows the vibrancy and richness of our humanity to shine through and shine out. It maximizes who we are rather than forcing us to live a minimized life. It allows for a transparency where we can intersect others and be intersected. And in the end, it just feels plain good. So, how about a deep clean? © Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor Used by permission.

It was just another day at the office for me. Morning counseling sessions had gone well, and it’s a rare day that I ever hear anything new. Well actually after over 30 years of counseling, I hear something new maybe once a year. Even though everyone’s situation is different, there is usually a sense in which clients’ counseling issues are “generic” or similar to other situations. Here’s an interesting situation that seemed at first to be generic. It would be another year before I understood how close a young woman came to ruining her life. I counseled a woman who was afraid to let her husband know that she was in my counseling office. Married for only a few months, she couldn’t stop weeping. She had suffered from so much controlling behavior on the part of her new husband that she couldn’t stand it anymore. From all I could gather, this man was a professional invalidator, not so much a friend as a “frenemy.” As I do in most such cases, I asked if the husband would come in for marriage counseling. Of course, if the husband is knocking her around, I won’t see the couple together, and I often won’t see the husband alone, either. It depends on the wishes of the wife and my estimation of the value of seeing him alone. Anyway, this tearful, fearful soul would not allow me to call the husband. No way. She was way too scared. She would also never tell him that she was coming for counseling. Of course, because she was my client, I had to respect her wishes. Here’s something she didn’t know, and I never told her. About one year before, I counseled a different young woman who was thinking of marrying this same man. She described how he raised his voice with her, continually telling her how to drive, how to eat, how to talk, how to shut up, you name it. He played an updated version of “Simon Says,” fancying himself as Simon; and if someone did something that Simon didn’t way, watch out! Although I rarely say this to anyone, I advised that she run from this man as fast as she could. Which – thankfully – she did! I think she saved herself a life filled with pain. She saved herself from being the other woman in my office. As unfortunate fate or naiveté would have it, the woman who was weeping in my office had not received premarital counseling. She married the man that the first woman I counseled wisely broke up with. I hate to say this, but the professional invalidator’s behavior was pretty much a run of the mill “red flag.” At the end of most of the divorce recovery groups I’ve facilitated, I ask for a list of red flags from the group members. I’m trying to help them remind each other what to “look out for” in their next relationship. The list assembles itself very quickly because – at this point – I’m talking to a group of relationship specialists. They have gained new strength from their relationships in the group and they’ll probably never miss seeing the red flags again! Many red flags are less obvious than controlling behavior, of course, and some are more obvious. Be on the lookout and learn exactly what to do once you’ve seen those flashes of red that you think must be your imagination. But, hey, guess what? You’re not simply seeing the best color, perhaps, to accent a wardrobe, as red is said to be. You’re probably seeing the real enchilada. The real cape of the matador. What does a red flash that’s more than an accent to an otherwise buried personality look like? A real warning sign? Here’s one simple example: I heard someone say that if someone tells you he’s not good enough for you, believe him! ‘Nuf said. That’s an example! Run! The brightest and largest of red flags that are proudly carried by classic toxic flashers. I mean red flag flashers! These Don Quixote’s run to the battle! (Oh, if the person’s last name is Quixote, run from that person, too.) I’ll introduce you first to these most obvious of self-deceived deceivers. Some have subtle characteristics and simply wear a small red flag pin in their lapel. The latter group may simply be carriers of toxicity. They might not even know that they’re carriers. They don’t run to the battle. They’re snipers on an adventure. You can’t understand what’s happening to your identity. Even the snipers may think that you’re both on a romantic lark! But just as a bad flu can take you out for a month or so, less diagnosable toxicity can also subtract you from the land of the living for months at a time. It can take quite awhile to believe your friends who keep asking why you’re standing on your head. You are certain that you’re right side up. Stupid friends! What do they know? They’re just jealous because they don’t have someone as much as the sniper loves you! Learn be an excellent diagnostician of all manner of relationship traps…and of red flags….and of flashers…I mean red flag flashers! Become a black belt in red! Learn to be wise and discerning in all your relationships! Notes: “Author Ankush Modawal ?Chintan Yes, there are a lot of she devils out there as well! Beware, like the warning on car’s side mirrors, they might be closer than they appear.”