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“It is as well to admit when your enemies are onto something.” So wrote Douglas Murray in his essay in the May issue of the British magazine Standpoint. While Murray’s point was on the broad theme of the West’s move to secularization, I was most arrested by Murray’s point about the growth of Islam—and I think there are some things there we Christians ought to pay attention to. By the growth of Islam, I am not here talking about demography, although there is much to consider there. Reports indicate that the global future is religious, not secular, but that religious element includes a massive Islamic population. The world’s tomorrow is heavily Islamic, even if, as I believe, the world’s day after tomorrow is the kingdom of God. By the growth of Islam, I am also not referring to the paramilitary conquests of radical Islamic groups—such as those driving ancient Christian communities out of Iraq. No, today I’d like to consider the stories of those Westerners who convert to Islam. Murray notes that he is struck by accounts of those who convert to Islam because of how similar they are to each other. He writes they go something along the lines of this: “I had reached X age (often the twenties or early thirties) and I was in a nightclub and I just thought, ‘Life must be about more than this.’” Murray continues: “Almost nothing in our culture says, ‘But of course this is not all.’ Instead the voice of our culture just says, ‘repeat, repeat.’ In the absence of such a voice, they search, and they discover Islam.” But why do these seekers choose Islam, and not something else? Why not, for instance, Christianity? “Partly it is because most branches of mainstream Christianity have lost the confidence to proselytize,” Murray concludes. “Partly it is the trickle-down effect of the fact that Islamic traditions have not yet been so affected by historical criticism and scholarship.” These points are, I believe, critical to the future of the church. The issue is precisely what Murray identifies—a question of confidence. The old mainstream of liberal Protestant churches, such as those in Western Europe—as well as many sectors of European Catholicism—lack creedal confidence. In their rush to appeal to the cultured despisers of religion, these forms of previously Christian conviction have negotiated away the authority of Scripture and the supernatural core of the Christian faith. They have no transcendent Word from God to address those perennial questions of meaning and purpose—and guilt and shame. The cultured despisers recognize in these churches a commitment to the same authority they already know—science, progress, and human rationality. There is no need to pay attention, then, because there is not a claim to authority from the outside. There is no longer remaining a “Thus saith the Lord.” Now, it is easy for those of us who are conservative evangelicals to recognize this sort of loss of confidence and to cluck our tongues. We, after all, still hold to the authority of Scripture. We have something to say. But Murray’s other point hits us too. Many sectors of Christianity, he says, have lost the confidence “to proselytize,” that is, to call persuasively for unbelievers to repent of sin and to believe the gospel. This is not simply a problem for those who have lost the scriptural authority to evangelize—those, for instance, who embrace universalism or inclusivism or some other false teaching about the gospel. This is a problem for those who hold to the old-time religion, but who do not verbally share that faith. Confidence is precisely the issue. We don’t evangelize for the precisely same reasons the liberals apostatize—because we fear what unbelievers will think of us. The unconfident Christian assumes that he or she must be an expert in philosophy and apologetics and history, to knock back every possible objection an unbeliever might have. The unconfident Christian cringes, afraid the unbeliever will think us to be backward or unsophisticated if we say things like, “Have you come to know Christ for the forgiveness of your sins?” It’s not just that this lack of confidence prevents us from sharing the gospel; it’s also that this lack of confidence is readily apparent to the unbelieving around us. Why consider the claims of a resurrected Christ, if his followers are no more confident of his power from on high to carry out the last command he gave us before his ascension to the Father (Acts 1:7-8)? Our unbelieving neighbor can tell if we are afraid of him, or afraid of what the culture thinks of us. That is almost as much of an apologetic for a still-dead Christ as the liberal bishop who makes his case with German scholarship. And the sad result is that this sort of unconfident Christianity leaves our neighbor, when the crisis hits in that nightclub, left in fear and despair and in the tyranny of a guilty conscience. Only a few will go to Islam, of course, but many more will just go on with the “repeat, repeat” nihilism of Western culture. The answer is a church that is not afraid. The church should be unafraid to hold up a Bible and to say, “Thus saith the Lord.” And the church should be unafraid to look into the eye of a neighbor and say, “You must be born-again.” The church is unafraid because we know that Jesus of Nazareth isn’t dead anymore, and he wields from heaven the power of a gospel that raises the dead and tears down strongholds. A faithful, evangelistic church will find that the culture often will laugh at us, or rail against us. Of course it does. Jesus told us that the Light of the world is painful; it exposes hidden sin and reminds of coming judgment. But the Light has come into the world and the darkness has not, will not, cannot overcome it. A fallen world groans around us. The stakes are too high to let the only ones with confidence to confront a secular culture be those carrying Korans. www.russellmoore.com . Used by permission.

Is it okay to talk to our loved ones who’ve gone on to be with Jesus? First, would it even be possible for someone in Heaven to know what’s happening on earth, and be able to hear us say anything? Many assume the answer is no. But in Matthew 17, Moses and Elijah clearly already knew the events going on when they appeared with Jesus on the mount of transfiguration. In Luke 15 Jesus speaks of rejoicing in the presence of the angels, not BY the angels but in their presence, whenever a sinner repents, suggesting God’s people in heaven rejoice at God’s work in lives on earth. To rejoice at it, they obviously must be aware of it. And Revelation 6:9-11 shows martyrs in Heaven who are clearly aware that God hasn’t yet brought judgment on those who persecuted them, and are wondering why. So they know some of what’s happening on earth. Okay, so if it’s possible someone in Heaven could hear us, is it right to talk to them? First, there’s a huge difference between talking to someone and praying to them, and it’s critical we keep that clear. When people pray to Mary and the saints, they are calling on them as intermediaries, asking them to intervene and exercise power in this world. There is no biblical basis for this. Since 1 Tim. 2:5 says Christ is the only mediator between God and men, it would violate this to pray to those in heaven. We’re not to pray to people or to angels, but only to God. But would it be okay to say, “I’m not sure you can hear this, Mom, but if you can I just want to say thanks for how you always watched out for me. I love you and I’m looking forward to seeing you again and talking and having you show me some special places there.” That’s talking to someone, but it’s NOT praying to them, calling upon them to do something, or to exercise power or talk back. Seeking to call up from the dead or to hear from the spirits of the departed is a forbidden occult practice (Deut. 18:9-14). But that’s very different than doing what I just described. Personally, rather than talking to a loved one, I am more comfortable simply praying to Jesus or the Father (there are biblical examples of praying to each) and saying, “Lord, would you please give my mom a hug, and tell her it’s from me?” Now I think my mom sometimes sees what’s going on here and might hear this when I say it, but I KNOW God hears it. And I trust God to do what He knows is best. Does that make sense? I have some old friends in Heaven, Greg and Jerry among them, that I sometimes think of and ask the Lord to greet for me. Whether He does that is His call, but my relationships with those brothers was a gift from God, and one day I’ll see them again in His presence. I suspect God is pleased with my sense of connection to them, and certainly He understands the bonds of friendship. Jesus called us his friends. He is the best friend I’ve ever had. I could see how a person speaking to their departed loved one, even if they’re not violating Scripture (since they’re not praying to them or calling on them), could become unhealthy or obsessive. But that’s not likely to happen when we’re talking to God about them. He invites us to come to Him with what’s on our minds and hearts. Obviously your loved one is on your mind and heart. If your child or wife or husband or parents or best friend are with Jesus, God understands your desire to feel connected to them, and to want them to know of your love for them, and that you miss them and look forward to seeing them again. I have every reason to believe God would honor the request to pass on our warm greetings to loved ones. But again, that’s up to Him. It’s one thing to ask God for something like this, but entirely another to insist on it. We’re the creatures, He’s the Creator. He’s the Potter, we’re the clay. (And what a privilege to be His clay, as well as his sons and daughters.) So, bottom line to the person who asked the question, as long as you’re not praying TO your loved one or FOR your loved one (who needs no prayer now), but to God ABOUT your loved one, and your feelings, and your desire for them to know something, I think there’s nothing in that which violates a Scripture. Just be careful it doesn’t shift into anything that treats them as intermediaries or leads to obsession or seeking contact with them, which is expressly forbidden. I said at both our daughters’ weddings, in the summer of 2001, that I believed their two grandmothers were watching from heaven. And since Nanci’s mom had been blind her last few years here, she was seeing the wedding in a way she couldn’t have even a few months earlier before she died. I firmly believe this is true, but even if I was wrong on that point (since of course I can’t know exactly when God allows people to see events on earth and when He doesn’t), I would not be wrong in praying “Lord, please tell Mom her precious granddaughters love You with all their hearts and married young men that do too. That will mean so much to her.” My guess is that Mom knows all that anyway, and that she is enjoying seeing God at work in the lives of our grandchildren, her great-grandchildren she hasn’t yet been able to hug. (It’s odd to me that so many assume people in Heaven are ignorant of what’s going on here on earth where the great drama of redemption is unfolding—wouldn’t we think they’d be more enlightened, not less?). Still, it doesn’t hurt to ask God, the Giver of special relationships. He is gracious and understanding of our thoughts and feelings and love for the precious people He has put in our lives. From epm.org. Used by permission.

The tragic death of any celebrity offers every parent the opportunity to talk to your kids about drugs. Her death is on every television, magazine, and Web site in the country. When something is this widespread, it creates a nice big opportunity for you to address the issue of drugs. You might hear from your kid, as many parents do these days, this idea that smoking weed is no big deal. More and more cities and states are “decriminalizing” marijuana and so-called “medical marijuana” joints (pun intended) are popping up in communities around the country. So much so that the government has started to send letters to those that are too close to high schools. When you talk to your kids about drugs, I would suggest a terse comment that includes the words “Whitney Houston.” Houston’s life ended at age 48. That’s deeply tragic, but also avoidable. The lesson here is that other people–not just the user–are affected by drug abuse. In Whitney’s case, her friends, her daughter, her family, and her fans are now hurting from her decisions. Whether you are a superstar or a regular one, you’re self-destructive decisions in life take a toll on those you love, and those that love you! What researchers have known for years is that if you expose a developing brain to drugs or alcohol, you run the risk of making that person more susceptible to addiction. It’s as though you are training the brain as it is growing–conditioning it for addictive behavior down the road. Researchers also tell us that kids are smoking pot and drinking alcohol earlier than ever. Putting those two together, we could have a generation of addicts in the making (not just drugs, but addiction of all flavors). Another well known fact is that the part of the brain that is slowest to mature is the part that deals with judgment. Don’t believe me? Call your insurance agency today and insure your 16-year-old to drive your car. You’ll quickly find that their extremely high insurance rates that are tied to facts that young people don’t always use the best judgment. Of course, you may have already experienced your own son or daughter’s lack of common sense. Some of these guys think they are economists. They are talking about all the money that could be gained by taxing the now illegal drug market. Well, we tax alcohol and cigarettes very heavily in our country today. And quite frankly, the revenues received through taxation don’t come near the damage that cigarettes and alcohol take on the lives of our citizens. So here are a few tips for those of us that want our kids to make good decisions in life. Remember, you are your child’s best teacher: 1. Make sure your kids have plenty of practice making decisions in your home. This is their safe place to learn good judgment, vs. bad. 2. Ask your what your kids’ opinion is on everyday family issues! 3. Make sure you have POSITIVE expectations for your kids (Raise a child UP in the way they should go) 4. Find ways, like discussing Whitney Houston’s death this week, to negatively imprint drug usage in your kids minds at a young age. 5. Get to know your child’s friends and their families! 6. Your house should be the centerpiece of your kids social life! Yes, it might mean you have to spring for pizza. But I would rather have my kids hanging out at my home then someone else’s. Your kids might be surprised that their friends like you! 7. Beware of your child’s money supply. Kids should get allowances, but if your kid starts having money and you are unaware of its source, that is a red flag. 8. When a child’s grades fall right off the table, that is a pretty good indication that your son or daughter has discovered the world of drugs. Smoking weed diminishes motivation. 9. Don’t tell yourself “My kid would never do such a thing!” Because obviously kids that get hooked on drugs come from a variety of home situations. If your child is already using drugs, you have to directly confront the issue. Get him or her to a group that deals with drug usage effectively. Personally, I think Teen Challenge does a great job. Do not become the enabler! Do not make excuses for your kids! And pray. Pray every day. Now go talk with your kids. Not at your kids. Use public events, cautionary tales, as a springboard to talk about the difficult issues surrounding drug use.

Is the Word of God that should drive our discussions about modesty. What has God revealed about it? First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart . Modesty is primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment, having an awareness of others and our environment. Modern Modesty Controversies In a recent conversation, a woman I spoke with seemed deeply offended when I suggested a woman’s manner of dress could tempt a man to lust. She wasn’t denying the claim that men lust after women, but she was emphatic that women are not to blame for a man’s lustful thoughts and actions. She’s right, of course. A person is never guilty of another person’s sin. This woman’s protest is, in part, motivated by a desire to fight various rape myths in our culture. When a girl dresses scantily, goes to a college party, gets drunk, makes out with a dozen guys, and then is raped, for some there is a tendency to say, “Well, she was just asking for it.” This kind of victim-blaming, sadly, leads some to temper any compassion for such women when they are abused. Let’s be clear: victims of rape are not guilty of their rape. The girl who walks across campus at 2 a.m. and gets assaulted is not to blame for the crime committed against her. Similarly, victims of another’s lust do not thereby mean a woman is guilty of lust. She should never be made to account for another person’s sin. Where then does modesty fit into the Christian ethic? Paul on Modesty: 1 Timothy 2:8-10 “I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.“ Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does. This text is a primary example. (For the purposes of this article, I am writing about women because Paul is writing about women in these verses. I recognize that men should also embrace modesty.) 1. Modesty is not anti-pretty At the outset, we should take note that Paul is not anti-adornment. The force of his statement is positive: “women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. The same word “adorn” is used to speak of a bride beautifying herself for her husband (Revelation 21:2). It is a term that expresses being ornamented, well-kempt, and put in order. The question for Paul isn’t about whether a woman should ornament her body, but how. 2. Modesty is about who you worship In the context, Paul is talking about how women should prepare themselves for gathering at church. Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting for worship. If they “profess godliness”—that is, they desire to show God honor and reverence—how should they dress? Paul puts his finger on the trigger of the problem. In Ephesus, the original destination of this letter, the cultural elite were known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes, their elaborate hair styles, and their expensive clothing that communicated extraordinary wealth. Paul paints a picture of this for the Ephesians Christians and says, “Don’t mimic that. When you come to church, come dressed in a way that shows you desire to the attention to be on God, not yourself.” A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing itself (Matthew 6:28-30), is often indicative of a heart that loves self more than God. 3. Modesty is about behavior and attitude, not just clothing When Paul says that women should wear “respectable apparel,” the term “apparel” is probably translated too narrowly: it is a term that encompasses not just clothing, but one’s whole demeanor, attitude, and actions. Ultimately, what should adorn a woman is not just clothing but “good works.” As Christians, we are being remade by God for good works (Ephesians 2:10). Christ died so that we might be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). Women should seek to dress their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love. This means modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others. 4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin In this text Paul says a woman’s apparel should be worn with “modesty.” Other translation opt for the word “decency.” The King James Version translates this “shamefacedness,” which gets more to the heart of the word. It is talking about a demeanor of reverence, showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the word implies the idea of grief over sin that is in the world—that a woman would be so sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to God, that she would never come close to trying to provoke it in others. No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him. Let him account for his sins. But she is guilty of a lack of shamefacedness, for treating sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow man. 5. Modesty involves cultural discretion Paul didn’t just paint broad strokes when talking about modesty; he gave specifics. He said braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire were out of place for a truly modest woman. Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. In Paul’s day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple: hair was parted in the middle and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids, covered in expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style. For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury and conjured up images of notoriously immoral Empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls. The poet Juvenal, a contemporary of Paul, gives a vivid description of this cultural trend: “There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no attention to her own husband.” Similarly, the philosopher Philo gives a description of a prostitute in his writing called “The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel”: “A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over her.” Paul’s description of immodest dress conjured a picture of someone preoccupied with appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess. Similarly, modern modesty standards are not about arbitrary rules of how much skin is shown or how low-cut something is, but about the messages and values our clothing communicates. 6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true. Paul says women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with “self-control.” This might be better understood as “self-mastery,” being of sound mind or sober, being in control of one’s impulses and appetites. In extra-biblical literature, this word has sexual nuances: being able to totally control your romantic and erotic desires. Habitual immodesty is often, though not always, a kind of slavery. A woman may be enslaved by her desire to attract a man. She might define her worth by her fashion sense, her sex appeal, her image, her bust size, her weight, or the brand names she wears. This kind of slavery is widespread because sin impacts us all, and in today’s sexually charged, media-saturated culture, many women fall prey to this kind of slavery. But as Christians we are free from the slavery of sin because we are united to Christ. Paul exhorts us to live out this freedom: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12). When it comes to modest dress, we can follow Paul’s next statement quite literally: Do not present the members of your body to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present your members to God as instruments for righteousness (v.13). Paul wants Christian woman to have self-mastery in their wardrobe choices, to be totally free from worldly ways of defining worth, beauty, and sexiness. Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those who pride themselves on their modesty. “Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still defining their worth by their outward adornment. Defining Modesty Taken together, these aspects of modesty help to give us a working definition. Modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God. When it comes to the subject of modest clothing, the first question we should ask ourselves is: What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear? Taken from covenanteyes.com. Used by permission.

Battles come every day. In whatever form they come, they come. They come with relentless pressure, incessantly assailing the battlements of our lives and our culture. Battles come in our marriages, in our families, in our jobs, in our communities and in our friendships. Enemies violently storm our lives, startlingly surging out of places and people and situations that we never dreamt they would surge from. Dark storm clouds gather over the horizon of politics, and enemies marshal their forces and assail our economy. Deteriorating ethics and collapsing morals perpetually weaken walls that have long protected the integrity of our culture, permitting enemies of all sorts frightening entrance in places we once assumed as invincible. When one battle appears to be ebbing in one place, another always seems to be brewing in another. Then there are the battles around our own thoughts. We’re constantly pressing against the desire to feed that voraciously hungry dark side of ourselves and perpetrate a great wrong in order to feed it. It seems that we are incessantly faced with vexing questions and draining decisions that seem to be intentionally designed to batter the bulwark of our morals at every turn. We are constantly faced with choices that stretch our ethics to the breaking point, effortlessly snapping the very back of those ethics as we succumb to our baser self and then grapple with the guilt that suffocates us once we’ve caved. There are battles within battles that become horribly tangled and impossibly enmeshed, radically elevating the complexity of situations to near insanity and beyond. We are confronted with battles that are less battles and more points of irritation, all too frequently being the result of sloppy living on our part or on the part of someone else. There are battles fought for the sole purpose of staging the next battle, or provoking one. Battles rage for the purpose of strategically positioning a person, a philosophy or a cause, thereby rendering victory little more than a secondary objective. Often battles are fought for the singular purpose of forcing cherished societal issues to the forefront, repositioning political opponents, solidifying allies, courting world favor, or simply to make a statement. Indeed, battles abound. Giving Battles Permission Far too often these enemies seize perpetually higher ground right in middle of innumerable masses of people who ignore both the savagery of the battle, as well as the horrific consequences of the very battle that rages all around them. Too often it’s not that we lose battles, or fight them ineptly, or run in panicked fashion away from them. Rather, as impossible and improbable as it sounds, it’s often the case that we ignore their very existence despite the screaming ferocity of them. In reality, the greatest tragedy may not be the battle itself and the carnage that it wreaks. Rather, the far greater tragedy may be our ignorance of the battle. It would seem that a weak defense is hardly the worst case scenario. Not recognizing the battle in the first place is clearly the most dangerous scenario of all. The Enemy as Providential Progression The increasingly frightening nature of the battles rests not simply in the abject ignorance of many as to the battle itself, but it rests with those who write off the battle as the natural progression of the culture to some higher consciousness and more refined state of democracy. There are those who view the onset of destructive forces as possessing the essential elements and irresistible energy that has both the method and muscle to perpetuate the evolutionary process that is certain to birth a more robust and advanced society. And in viewing these battles in this manner the battle is dismissed and the need to step up and fight it need not be considered. It is the opinion of some that it is in the tearing down that the building up most effectively occurs. Indeed, such a belief certainly has great validity if the tearing down rests in the hands of a morality that realizes that immorality can most certainly tear down, but it does not have within itself the character to rebuild. Therefore, what is destructive is errantly seen as good in that whatever might be destructive about it is offset by the good that our agenda purports it will bring. Such skewed nonsense embraces the enemy as importing a hidden good that offsets the bad nature of the enemy. Morals as Restraining There appears to be some deliriously cock-eyed sense that true advances are only restrained by the values that birthed them, so to battle on behalf of them is to battle against progress itself. Too often, ‘out with the old and in with the new’ embraces a supposed vision that is far too often void of the wisdom that is critically necessary to determine if indeed it is a vision at all or if in reality it is little more than a hollow idea borne of selfishness, tainted by all things vogue and erected of bias. We may gorge ourselves on philosophies that bend truth to serve bent agendas and that give us permission to side-step core values, making our enemy a friend that we accidently mistook as an enemy. When this happens foe becomes friend, and the soft underbelly of all that we stand for becomes dangerously exposed. Letting Battles Be Battles The most egregious thing that we can do is to reinterpret a battle that we should fight as some glorious advancement that we need to get behind, instead of seeing it as something that we need to get behind us. I would conjecture that the greatest cowardice is to cow-down in the face of the battles that are facing us and change the face of them so that the battle becomes invisible and we can therefore live without the guilt of having run away. If we choose to succumb through surrender borne of reconstructed thinking, or should we rationalize unadulterated defection by shifting our values and pitching compromise, we will live diminished lives scarred by defeat and undercut by failure. And in the end, the victories that we were bred to win will become defeats that we will be doomed to bear. Letting Battles be Battles We need to let battles be battles and refuse to let them be anything else. We need to view battles through the keen eyes of morals and the honed intuition of ethics, rather than viewing battles with an eye toward changing those very morals and values. We must not allow ourselves to be deluded into believing that core morals and sound values are irreparably bound to another time that would bind all forward thinking and decisively banish forward progression. We cannot be duped by the evasive arguments that rationalize the abandonment of cherished morals and ethics because they will serve to turn the clock backward rather than creating a potent framework to thrust us forward. In order to do that, we must boldly recognize that morals and values do not impede progress or stall advancement. Standing on solid principles as we stand on the precipice of the future is not a clarion call wherein we are compelled to retreat to the comfort of more secure or simpler times. Instead, morals and values create the potently sustaining bulwark within which our future can be securely and successfully navigated. Any future stripped of morals and purged of values is a future that will become an abhorrent past that will lend shame to our stories and paint regret across the face of history. And it will be so because the greater our advances, the more necessary the cultivation of morals and value to shape them and guide those advances. The further we advance the more vulnerable we become due to the simple fact that we possess progressively greater power that brings progressively greater implications in both the use and abuse of that power. Therefore, the further we progress the greater the need for the sure and faithful guidance of morals and ethics. We cannot permit any argument despite how astutely conceived and tediously constructed to cause us to see enemy as friend. We must understand that it is the power of ethics embraced and morals unleashed that transform individual lives and unleash entire cultures toward rich transformation. Let the enemy be the enemy and let us stand in opposition as we are called to do so. Let us never live in denial of the battles that rage around us and within us. Indeed, let’s allow the battle to be the battle. © 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

Due to the many differences in the physical makeup of male and female brains, men and women experience anger differently. Men, on average, fire up quickly but cool down in a shorter period of time. Women take longer to get upset, but once fired up its much more difficult for them to calm down. So, men are like firecrackers on the 4th of July: they light up quickly, but their anger does not last very long. Women, on the other hand, are like kettles: they take some time to boil, and once hot, the “water” stays hot for some time. So, ladies and gents, your reaction to an argument or a fight is different! Don’t try to see your partner’s feelings in light of your own. The same emotional response in the brain motivates men to take action and women to walk away. He needs to fix it. She is sick to her stomach and can’t eat or sleep. Here are some more fascinating points on anger from my new book “Who Switched off YOUR brain? Solving the mystery of he’s/she said: When males and females get into an argument cortisol, which is a really important chemical but should only be released into the body by the adrenal glands in small, intermittent amounts, is released in abundance. Cortisol takes about twelve hours to subside in a female and about one hour in a male. The female brain, however becomes more stressed in an argument than the male brain, which often causes a female to overreact–this releases more chemicals at a higher rate than in the male brain, which in turn makes a female feel terrible. Fights for women are on par with them having a seizure! Men, however, can go from zero to a fight and back again quickly, while ladies cannot–just the thought of a misunderstanding or a fight stresses a woman out. We will try anything to defuse a conflict, won’t we? And despite the fact that a woman’s bigger prefrontal cortex gives her the advantage in sparring with words, his bigger amygdala means the impact of these words are going to really hit him hard and fuel the fire! The important point here is that when we can recognize our differences and shape our expectations, we are free to receive the benefits that properly processed anger can provide – greater understanding, greater honesty, greater connections, greater health and, most of all, greater love. Ephesians 4:6 says ” In your anger do not sin…” Postscript: Men and women rest differently, men by withdrawing and women by talking. The question was asked whether this is the same if the woman is an introvert and the man an extrovert. The answer is that the brain wiring of females functions by resting through communication–if someone is more introverted and intrapersonal then she will still talk but more to herself and quietly. A man who is an extrovert will still rest by going into his “man cave”, thus when he talks he is operating under his personality, which may be more interpersonal and linguistic. I handle this in depth in my book and DVD set called “The Gift in You”. For more information about Dr. Leaf’s research, go to www.drleaf.com.

Is it possible to have a thriving relationship with God even in the middle of a culture gone crazy? Absolutely! And my confidence is bolstered by the testimony of an ancient biblical prophet named Daniel. He lived most of his life in Babylon as a servant of tyrants and still managed to hear from God, speak for God, and live his life in a way that was pleasing to God. And I think he has much to teach believers today. Daniel was probably about fourteen years old when he was taken captive along with many other survivors of Nebuchadnezzar’s sack of the city of Jerusalem. He was transported, along with some dear friends, to the capital city of the world’s greatest empire at the time – Babylon. Babylon’s biblical history dates back to the earliest chapters of the first book of the Bible, where we find a hunter named Nimrod who started a cult and founded Babel (the more ancient name for Babylon). He led his followers to worship the stars and Babylon became the birthplace of astrology, the occult, and every kind of debauchery and evil. Babylon is also used in Scripture in the Revelation of St. John to refer to the secular system that opposes God’s agenda throughout all time with commercial, political, and religious ramifications. In other words Babylon, while a beautiful and magnificent ancient city to behold, was also a very pagan and violent place. It was quite a change for Daniel who had grown up in the royal family in the shadow of the holy temple and the palace compound of Israel. We might conclude that Babylon would have been a tough place for a Christian to live. If you, like me, live in the context of western Christianity, this is probably because we have a pretty cushy view of religious life. We’ve had it good. Christendom’s influence has been far reaching and we’re still reaping some of the nice benefits of the remains of the Holy Roman Empire. But Christendom is falling, and we were never commissioned to erect or maintain it to begin with. The United States and Ireland both recently legalized same-sex marriage a decade after Canada did so, and many other western nations will be following suit. This is a tough issue to navigate for Christians who have historically believed that marriage is a sacred institution reserved for a lifelong bond of one man and one woman. Abortion happens, and that would likely be most shocking to ancient Christians. To think that we will come up with a dozen half-baked excuses to use forceps and suction to kill and remove the life of a unique, pre-born individual human being, created in the image of God, from the womb of its mother and first defender is a little mind-boggling. There are plenty of other hot button issues I could mention that have created tremendous conflict between people of the Christian faith and the laws and customs of our land. Suffice it to say that our modern Babylon is changing rapidly around us, and it’s creating a clash between timeless truth and modern thinking. When other Christians want me to be madder about the way things are or get angry that our Judeo-Christian values are being replaced, I hesitate, reminding myself that we live in Babylon. And we are prophets, we are servants, and we are missionaries to a culture that has never actually been “Christian” to begin with. As I’ve taught through the Book of Daniel at Grace Hills, I’ve been a little blown away by some of the parallels between his world and ours. For example… If you’re young, take your spiritual formation seriously now. Daniel was 14 when he had to make really tough choices about some boundaries that honored God. If you’re a parent, it’s important to prepare your kids for heaven, yes. But it’s even more important to prepare them for life in Babylon. We don’t have to have a “Christian” nation, government, or culture to thrive spiritually. In fact, there really is no such thing on earth. We belong to a kingdom that is not of this world. We hold dual citizenship. So stop reacting to changes in your earthly kingdom with panic. King Jesus still reigns. People are never the enemy, be they political leaders, philosophers, or professors. We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood but against spiritual, invisible forces at work. There is a time to refuse to bow, when God’s truth directs us in conflict with what the culture around us says. And when we refuse to bow, we have to be prepared to get burned. All of us are builders, and that’s not bad, unless we’re more interested in building our personal empires than in extending God’s rule and reign. Seek his kingdom first. When the handwriting is on the wall and we know where our culture is headed, it’s time to be prophetic in people’s lives, sharing grace and truth with the loving accent of Jesus. Lions’ dens are uncomfortable, but our fate there rests in God’s hands, and we’re always better off in his hands than in anyone else’s. No matter how long we’ve been following Jesus, our proper posture before God is humility and repentance. We’re never better than the Babylonians. We’re just better off by grace. There is a spiritual conflict happening all the time, all around us in the unseen, heavenly realm. Angels fight for us against demons who wish to destroy us, and prayer makes a difference. The grand finale of history and the final judgment of God is set in stone. It’s coming. All will face eternity in a state of life or a state of death. Jesus makes the difference. And there is more. I don’t know about you, but in the middle of my current cultural surroundings, I need this kind of wisdom. I need some basic, common sense, practical answers about what to do and what not to do as I relate to the world around me. From Daniel, I learn my role in this world… DO live for Jesus regardless of the environment. DON’T compromise your faith-fed values. DO serve people, Christian and non-Christian. DON’T bow to the false gods and systems of the world around you. DO raise kids to know and love Jesus and recognize him as their King. DON’T force, coerce, or pressure others to believe or live the same way. DO have friends and find a community of faith. DON’T ignore the needs of people and become isolated from others. DO pray, in all circumstances, about everything. DON’T stay angry or react in ways that uphold truth but fail to show grace. I’m halfway through my preaching series in this awesome book. This Sunday, we’re “in the lions’ den.” Join me in praying for more people lost and blinded in our modern Babylon to find Jesus, to see God’s truth, and to experience the grace of God. We’ll never make Babylon be Christian, but we can help people become Christians, even in Babylon.

So it’s Saturday morning and your 7th grade daughter comes running in your room and says, “Mom/Dad, Brian just called and asked me to go to the show this afternoon. P-L-E-A-S-E! Can I go?” You’re caught off guard and you pause momentarily to consider the question – to which your daughter interjects, “All my friends get to go to the show with their boyfriends. . . Oh P-L-E-A-S-E. I really want to go!” Lead Researcher, Pamela Orpinas, shared three interesting observations: 1. A likely explanation for the “worse educational performance” of early daters is that these adolescents start dating early as part of an overall pattern of high-risk behaviors.? 2. Dating a classmate may have the same emotional complications of dating a co-worker. When the couple splits, they have to continue to see each other in class and perhaps witness the ex-partner dating someone else. It is reasonable to think this scenario could be linked to depression and divert attention from studying. Dating should not be considered a rite of passage in middle school. Perhaps the findings from a recent study from the Journal of Research on Adolescence might help you find your answer. Researchers followed 624 students in 6th to 12th grade for seven years. Each year researchers noted the students’ dating habits, as well as changes in behavior and study skills. Following categories: had the worst study skills. 3. So in trying to figure out the answer to your middle schooler dating, here’s a helpful suggestion I provide in my book, ABCs of the Birds and Bees – For Parents of Toddlers to Teens regarding dating. First, I encourage parents to determine their family values regarding dating. In other words, at what age will you be comfortable with your children dating? Then I encourage parents to plant those seeds early so their children grow-up knowing their family values. Here’s an illustration I give in the book: Regarding dating, researchers found students tended to fall into one of the following categories: Never or hardly ever dated in middle school to high school. Rarely dated in middle school, but increased dating in high school. Dated throughout 6th to 12th grade. According to the research, students who dated in middle school had significantly worse educational performance, were four times more likely to drop out of school and reported twice as much alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use. Students with the lowest incidence of dating had the best study skills. When guidelines for dating are established early, they help eliminate future problems. A mother shared with me that when her daughter was about six-years-old she brought up the subject of dating. She asked her little girl, “Do you know what your Daddy and I are going to let you do when you are about 16?” With great excitement and curiosity and little girl replied, “No, Mommy! What?” “Well,” her mother responded, “when you are about sixteen, and if you prove to us you can make very wise choices, your father and I are going to let you start dating.” The little girl’s eyes glistened with excitement as she thought of her Prince Charming coming to take her on this wonderful date. Throughout the next few years, the mother and daughter talked about what a fun date might be. When they saw teenagers together, they would discuss which couples looked like they were having fun and had a healthy relationship and which ones didn’t look so healthy. When the daughter was in the 8th grade, she came bouncing down the stairs all excited and announced that a young man had just invited her to go to a movie. The mother lovingly turned to her daughter and said, “I’ve been telling you for a long time that you would be able to date someday, but not before you were 16.” She said her daughter was disappointed. She was even a little mad, but she was not surprised. Obviously, the path this wise mother began to pave when her daughter was six alleviated some of the frustration and pain for both mother and daughter. Note: Middle School is not too late to plant those seeds. And as you set guidelines for dating, keep in mind it’s far easier to loosen the rules as you go along than tighten the reins once your child starts dating. Resources: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jora.12029/abstract Morris, Marilyn, ABC’s of the Birds and Bees for Parents of Toddlers to Teens; 2010, pg. 44.

I’d like to encourage you to keep track of what God does in your marriage over this next month. I hope you’ll take time to share what God does in your home as you bless and encourage your spouse. Day One: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12 To refresh your memory . . . here’s the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge: for the next 30 days: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for “choosing you” above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner. One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget-a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!” Day Two: ” . . . through love serve one another.” Gal. 5:13b How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you’re off to a good start. (If you blew it, don’t give up start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them. Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn’t think it’s part of a “Honey Do” list! Maybe your husband’s not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength. Day Three: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19 Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it’s difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn’t had role models in these areas. If he’s not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it’s hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don’t insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can’t expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart. Day Four: ” . . . let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . . ” Eph. 4:28 We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world. Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you “dump” on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others. If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc. Day Five: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29 Another way to describe the positive side of this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” is by using the word “edify,” which means, “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him – in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have. Day Six: “. . . whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31b Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Is your husband the “creative” type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special “knack” he has? Affirm him for his handiwork – a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn’t measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his “creative side,” understand that men’s creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day . . . Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening. Day Seven: “Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! . . . for riches certainly make themselves wings . . .” Prov. 23:4-5 “That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries.” Proverbs 8:21 Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, “Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?” Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead. Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters. If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he’s open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him. Day Eight: How are you doing with the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the challenge: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “. . . but who can find a faithful man?” Prov. 20:6b Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband’s faithfulness—how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has “stick-to-it-iveness” in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may “. . . be won by the conduct of their wives” [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.) Day Nine: We are often so busy speaking that we don’t take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment – negative or positive—that we don’t really “hear” our husband’s heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more! As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord’s admonition today: “Be swift to hear.” If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him. One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it’s an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn’t know, then tell him, “Wow, I didn’t know that!” Day Ten: We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we’re not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, “How can I admire him?” Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him! Day Eleven: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Eph. 5:22 Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission. Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together. If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . .”as to the Lord.” Day Twelve: “With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.” Eph. 4:2 Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart? Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it’s simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others. How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing. Day Thirteen: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” Song of Solomon 7:10 The sexual relationship. It’s one of those elements—along with money and children—that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a “good lover”? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage. In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you. Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways. Day Fourteen: “The righteous man walks in his integrity . . .” Prov. 20:7a Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It’s so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture. Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband’s honesty and integrity with others. Day Fifteen: “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . .” 2 Pet. 3:18a Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband’s faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember—your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth. Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future. Day Sixteen: “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18 God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly. Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being “one flesh” with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you. If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him—smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant “grunt!”—and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him . . . and listen when he does speak. Day Seventeen: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Prov. 9:10 Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband. Is your husband a “wise man?” Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If you are not sure about your husband’s vision for your home, ask him, “Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?” and “How can I help you accomplish that?” If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one. If your husband is not walking with God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord – you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum! Day Eighteen: “You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy . . . Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!” Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b “A merry heart does good like medicine . . .” Prov. 17:22a It’s hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a “little boy” that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times. If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax. Day Nineteen: Read this description of a wife’s description of her beloved—Song of Solomon 5:10-16 Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies. Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world – a loving God designed them all, and they are all “beautiful” in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness. As you look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?) Day Twenty: “And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Eph. 4:32 It’s time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God’s grace and in His power —you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you. Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense? Day Twenty-one: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matt. 6:33 If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world. If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity . . . the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things. Day Twenty-two: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: “If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I’ve said about him, what would they think of my husband?” Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others . . . or do you complain and criticize? Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never “rejoice in iniquity” (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband’s faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area—be wary of sharing barbed “prayer requests.” Remember, “Love will cover a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8b). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a “good word” for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him—and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down. Don’t forget: you are always criticizing—or encouraging—before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace. Day Twenty-three: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a You’re moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you’ve committed: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works . . .” Titus 2:7a Does the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him. Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed – but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized. Whatever the need, you can be your husband’s cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up. Day Twenty-four: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4 Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband’s leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up. Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills. If you don’t have children—is your husband positive and encouraging around other people’s children? Let him know that you have noticed. If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent—while still maintaining his authority in the home. Day Twenty-five: “. . . seek peace, and pursue it.” Ps. 34:14b “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Is. 26:3 Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today. Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence? Does he bring music, entertainment, books or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices. If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible. Day Twenty-six: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Luke 2:52 If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life . . . and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life. The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband. As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home. Jesus led a balanced life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance. If your husband is out of balance—focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others—consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind? Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example! Day Twenty-seven: “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” Ps. 31:24 You have almost completed the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of encouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared. There are lots of “tough guys” in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy? Psalm 27:14says this kind of courage comes from “waiting” on the Lord for His strength. If your budget allows, “award” your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband’s courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home. Day Twenty-eight: “The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.” Prov. 15:33 Sometimes, when we just “know” we are right and our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. As part of your Encouragement Challenge today, pray that you will respond to the Lord in faith and humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely and well, and leave the results to God. The humility that comes from a right relationship with God—the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God and be taught from His Word—is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father’s will (John 6:38; Matt. 26:39). Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from and submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship. Day Twenty-nine: “A prudent man foresees evil, and hides himself; the simple pass on, and are punished.” Prov. 27:12 As you near the end of your Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband’s responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize and avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, and the urge to lie and cheat? This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar’s wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first and foremost, sins against God (Gen. 39:9). Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today-and express your gratitude. Day Thirty: “. . . This is my beloved, and this is my friend . . .” Song of Solomon 5:16b Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so “used” to him that you don’t appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he “just knows”? Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don’t step on each other’s hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” celebrate your friendship with your husband. Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him. Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, and read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, and if he is willing, thank God for your love and friendship, asking for His blessing on your home. Encouragement, as you have seen these past 30 days, is a synonym for love in action. How has this challenge changed your heart and life, dear friend? Did God encourage you as you planned ways to encourage your husband? Were there difficult days where you simply needed to trust that God was working? Days when it was hard to leave the results to God? Remember that God is faithful, and He will bless you for your willingness to obey Him. His ways are not our ways, and perhaps He will honor you in ways you do not expect, but one thing is sure—you will never be the same because of your commitment to be more like Christ! What kinds of victories have you experienced in your home since you started the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? Would you take a moment to share these victories with us? © Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com. Info@ReviveOurHearts.com.

Scripture says that the Lord left nations in the promised land “to test Israel by them (that is, all who had not experienced any of the wars of Canaan); only in order that the generations of the sons of Israel might be taught war” (Judg. 3:1-2). To complete our spiritual maturity, the Lord must “test” us with enemies; like Israel, we must be “taught war.” I realize that most of us prefer peace. Yes, as much as it depends on us, we should live at peace with all men (Rom. 12:18). Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but we are in a worldwide conflict with principalities and powers (see Eph. 6:12). You see, there is a “time for war” (Eccl. 3:8). As Christians, we must accept and adjust to this truth. To stand victorious, we need to expand our understanding of who Jesus Christ is. The Bible says Christ “will go forth like a warrior, He will arouse His zeal like a man of war. He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry. He will prevail against His enemies” (Isa. 42:13). Even the rapture must be understood in military terms: “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first” (1 Thess. 4:16). The imagery of the Lord’s coming is explosive: He comes with a “shout” (or “cry of command,” a “war cry”). He’s followed by the stunning “voice of the “archangel,” then a blast of the “trumpet of God,” so loud, so undeniable that the powers of the heavens are confronted and collapse! Finally, the very “dead in Christ” begin to rise! The whole operation is fiercely militant in nature. One may argue, yes the Lord is coming to war, but His first goal is to rescue us. Well, I am certainly not against being rescued, having been rescued many times by the Lord! But the picture of the church is also one of militancy. Remember, Jesus said, “I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it” (Matt. 16:18). Consider again the imagery: it is the church that is advancing against the gates of hell, and it is hell that is not prevailing! The Need for War Truly, I am for peace, but I recognize that I cannot have peace unless I am first trained for war. It is my training for war that secures my ability to have peace. Indeed, it was during the times of warfare – of struggle and battle – when I have grown the most in courage, in faith, in sacrifice, and in love. The battle stretched me beyond the boundaries of my spirituality. Yes, when I was fighting for my family, church or community, it was the fight itself that defined and established my spiritual growth. Indeed, as I have grown older, I have come to understand that every generation is ordained to confront and defeat the enemies of its era. In the last hundred years, men and women fought in WWI; then came the Great Depression, and poverty and fear were conquered. WWII began, and again a generation rose and saved the world from unspeakable tyranny. Next, America rose to stand against the spread of godless Soviet communism. You see, every generation, at some point, will face a war that must be won. In that fight we learn lessons of courage. Do we see this generational warfare? Thus, we cannot interpret the fallen conditions of our world and assume the end of the world is upon us. No! What we are seeing in our world is the battleground of our war against the godless enemies of our times. Remember, I believe in the rapture; I also believe we are in the season of the end. But I cannot excuse myself from facing the giants of today’s wars. As our forefathers had to succeed on the battlefield against great and highly trained enemies, so we too must overcome the radical agenda of those who seek to mainstream perversion into our society. Some of us have fought in physical wars-and we must pray righteous conclusions for these wars as well. Others are fighting to see our nation returned to Christ. I know some are weary, yet it is time that we too “might be taught war.” Regardless of the battle before us, no matter how dark the spiritual atmosphere becomes, we must fight for the purposes of God in the earth. We cannot relax our intercession nor surrender our vision for our nation’s future. We have not entered the day of irreversible darkness. You are no doubt familiar with the Lord of the Rings trilogy written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien, an Englishman, denied that his work mirrored the realities of World War II. Yet much of his manuscript was written during the height of that great conflict, when entire kingdoms were at war. He was clearly influenced by his time. His book is a metaphor for all times and conflicts, especially highlighting the role of common men to attain uncommon levels of valor and victory against forces of evil. In a scene from the third Lord of the Rings movies, The Return of the King , King Aragorn seeks to inspire his outnumbered men to fight in spite of what seems like sure defeat: Hell’s swarming legions have amassed before them and the courage of Aragorn’s fighters is weakening. Riding along the front lines of his gathered, but lowly army, he shouts: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. . . . This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of the West! Let us also put aside our fears and especially the burden of a passive, prayerless existence. Let us take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And let us fight for all we hold dear in our times and culture. Yes, a day may come when the world will fully succumb, for a sprinkling of years, to the forces of evil. But it is not this day. This day we fight!

You will be astonished at this information. Christians should not be ignorant of God’s plans for His chosen people in His Word. Jews are, biblically speaking, the “chosen people of God” and dearly loved by Him. Another reason for Christians to support the nation of Israel is because of the Abrahamic Covenant. We read of God’s promise in Genesis 12:2-3, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (see also Genesis 27:29; Numbers 24:9). Here are a few extraordinary facts about Israel: Geography: · Israel is only 1/6 of 1% of the landmass of the Middle East. · Israel is roughly half the size of Lake Michigan. · The Sea of Galilee , at 695 ft. below sea level, is the lowest freshwater lake in the world. · The Dead Sea is the lowest surface point on earth, at about 1,373 feet below sea level. · Israel is the only nation in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees. · Jericho is the oldest continuously inhabited town in the world. · The Mount of Olives in Jerusalem is the oldest, continually used cemetery in the world. Demographics: · Israel ‘s population is half the size of Metro New York City. · Israel has only 2% of the population of the Middle East. · Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees per capita in the world. · Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of scientists and technicians per capita in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of engineers per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of PhD’s per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of physicians per capita in the world. · Israel has the largest percentage of its workforce employed in technical professions in the world. · Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation in the world, per capita. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where the Christian population has grown over the last 50 years. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Christians, Muslims and Jews are all free to vote. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where women enjoy full political rights. Economics: · Israel has the largest number of startup companies per capita in the world. · Israel is the world’s largest wholesale diamond center, finally surpassing Antwerp in the 1970’s. · Most of the cut & polished diamonds in the world come from Israel. · Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies outside of the US and Canada. · Israel was the first country to have a free trade agreement with the United States. · Apart from the Silicon Valley, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world. · The cell phone was developed in Israel at Motorola’s largest development center. · The Voice Mail technology was developed in Israel. · In the early 80’s, IBM chose an Israeli-designed computer chip as the brains for its first personal computers. · The first anti-virus software for computers was developed in Israel in 1979. · Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed in Israel by Microsoft. · Both the Pentium-4 and Centrino processors were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel . · The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel. · Israel has the highest number of home computers per capita in the world. · The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ was developed in 1996 by 4 young Israelis. · Israel was the first Middle Eastern country to launch a satellite, the Ofek 1, on September 19, 1988. Culture: · Hebrew is the only case of a dead national language being revived in all of world history. · Hebrew had not been spoken as a native tongue by anyone for centuries. · Today it is the native tongue of millions of people. · Israel has more museums per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel has more orchestras per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books translated from other languages than any other nation in the world. · Israel reads more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · The most independent and free Arabic press in the Middle East is in Israel Military/Security: · Israel has the largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the US . · Israel has the world’s most impenetrable airline security. · Israel spends more money per capita on its own protection than any country in the world. Other: · Israel’s dairy cows are the most productive dairy cows in the world. · They average 25,432 pounds of milk per cow per year, compared to just 18,747 pounds from American cows; 17,085 from Canadian cows; 13,778 from European Union cows; 10,207 from Australian cows; and 6,600 from Chinese cows. · Israel has more in-vitro fertilization per capita than anywhere in the world, and it’s free. · Israelis, per capita, are the world’s biggest consumers of fruits and vegetables. · Of the 175 UN Security Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against Israel . · Of the 690 UN General Assembly resolutions voted on after 1990, 429 were directed against Israel. So what must we do to support God’s people, even today? Listen to the words of the psalmist: Psalms 122:6 “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, they shall prosper that love you.” Jewish Federation of the North Shore 39 Norman Street, Suite 302 Salem, MA 01970 978-224-4900 info@jfns.org

How should Christians relate to a secular society that does not know Jesus? Paul’s letter to Titus sheds light on this scenario, showing us how God’s grace should motivate Christians to be good citizens and neighbors. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. Titus 3:1–8 Christians are a minority in our secular culture, which largely doesn’t honor Jesus. That’s not going to change, but there’s an ongoing debate among Christians about how we approach a secular culture that doesn’t agree with us about Jesus. As we think about our relationship with our society, it’s important to remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. It’s with this grace in mind that Paul teaches us, through his letter to Titus, how we should respond to a secular society. Grace results in good citizens The first way Christians should engage a secular culture is the same way we always have. We’re to be good citizens, obey the law, submit to authority, and not cause rebellion, strife, or insurrection. We are to be obedient to the law except for when it would require us to disobey Jesus. Christians need to live under the law of the land—it’s one of the ways we manifest our faith in meekness through Jesus Christ. Remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. Grace results in good works Christians should care about the people living around us in our city, and we should be active in working toward the common good. We have a responsibility according to this text that goes beyond the walls of the church. Yes, our priority should be the people in the church, but we are also responsible for the well-being of our neighbors and our city. Grace results in good words Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them. This is one of the ways we reflect the goodness of God. It’s not that we don’t call out false doctrine, but we do it in a respectful and loving way. Christians should care about the people living around us in our city. We have more opportunity than anyone in the history of the world to use our words negatively on the Internet. Words are critically important. When Jesus’ disciples were criticized for not ceremonially washing their hands, Jesus emphasized that it’s not what goes into our mouth that makes us unclean—it’s what comes out of our heart. If the gospel, through the power of the Holy Spirit, washes us from sin and gives us a new identity, then good words can flow out of a good heart. Grace results in good manners Christians should be courteous to all people. Good manners are very important, because the basic posture of a Christian is that we see others as more important than us. That means we treat them with respect, dignity, and honor. Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them.