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John’s Gospel begins, just like the book of Genesis, with: in the beginning. In Genesis, God speaks, and darkness is divided from the light (Gen. 1:4). Darkness and light have never successfully cohabitated. So it is no surprise that John noted in his Gospel that . . . the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend (or, overcome) it (John 1:5). There has been a battle between light and darkness since time began. The battle only grew more fierce when Jesus, the Light, walked upon the earth. The darkness hated Jesus. It inspired religious leaders to oppose him. It blinded people to His message. And, it ultimately led His own friends to deny and betray Him. Darkness launched every missile in its devilish arsenal to overcome the Light. Yet the Light continues to shine brightly. It probably did not dawn on anyone sitting on the lawn the day Jesus delivered his epic Sermon on the Mount, that they had just been deployed into a cataclysmic battle. Jesus had simply said, “You are the light of the world . . .” (Matt. 5:14). At the time, that statement might have sounded encouraging, even heartwarming. But it was a battle cry. Jesus knew full well what it was like to be light. He was under no delusions that darkness would welcome Him or forge a truce. It would be a fight to the end. Either the Light would prevail, or the darkness would. There was no room, or interest, in compromise. It was a battle to the death. And whether the disciples were ready or not, they were entering a war zone. It should not surprise Christians today when they are attacked, criticized, mocked, or lampooned by the media. It should be just the opposite. It ought to baffle us when we are not in the midst of an evil cannonade. Yet American Christians are continually expressing dismay when the world around them does not affirm or embrace them. Too many Christians have been allowed to enter the Church without being informed that they are entering a spiritual battlefield. Jesus told His disciples: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you . . . (John 15:20). I recently was in Nigeria. It currently has the sad distinction of having more Christian martyrs than any other country in the world. The Islamic terrorist group, Boko Haram, is determined to drive every Christian out of northern Nigeria and to create a strict, Muslim state. To that end, they have murdered hundreds of Christians. In January 2014, they murdered Christians on every Sunday in the month. In February, they killed hundreds of innocent people, including over forty children at a boarding school. These people, in the name of their religion, butchered children and defenseless villagers. Not surprisingly, northern Nigeria is the most backward, impoverished, and uneducated region of the country. The darkness is striving to keep people in bondage. I must confess to you that I have had a heavy heart for the dear Christians in Nigeria who are suffering from such vicious brutality. There the battle between light and darkness is evident for everyone to see. We in the West certainly owe it to our Christian brothers and sisters to be praying for them as each week, they endanger their lives by attending church. But we in America ought not to assume that we are safe from war. We may not have hooded thugs barging into our church auditoriums firing machine guns, but the combatants are just as earnest. The media today is bombarding society with its ungodly messages. The politically correct police will use lies, slander, and bullying to ensure that their version of truth is loudly heralded, why opponents are smeared as bigoted, racist, and ignorant. Christian values are publicly mocked. Christ’s holy name is brazenly blasphemed. Pressures to conform to the standards of darkness are as relentless as they are intense. I talked with a newlywed recently. He told me he was concerned about how he would raise his children in a world that is so opposed to Christian values and truth. I wasn’t sure how to answer him. It will be difficult. The darkness has made numerous inroads into society. It has built strongholds in many churches and denominations. It dominates much of the media. Darkness is as determined to snuff out the light today as it was in Jesus’ time. This is not an easy time to be a Christian. It is even harder to live like one. But this is the age God has placed us. Every “light” needs to be accounted for. Every light must shine brightly. This is no time to have a dim or hidden light. We need to shine more brightly than we ever have before. The darkness is coming for you. May you shine brightly. www.blackabyministries.org

In 1927, the famed British philosopher Bertrand Russell wrote an essay entitled, “Why I Am Not a Christian.” Russell’s essay inspired the title of this post. By “Christian,” I mean someone who has trusted their life to Jesus Christ as Crucified Savior and Resurrected Lord and seeks to follow Him each day. (I’m keenly aware that the term “Christian” has been hijacked to mean different things, hence the need to define.) Three things to keep in mind about this list: 1) This isn’t a list of theological reasons (e.g., God chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world and the Holy Spirit revealed Christ to my heart). 2) This isn’t a list of why I am indebted to Jesus (He owns me; He bought me with His blood; He died for my sins, etc.) Instead, they are intellectual/emotional/experiential reasons why I trust in and follow Jesus. 3) This isn’t an exhaustive list (I can certainly list more reasons), and it doesn’t reflect any particular order or priority. At the end of the list, I have a question for readers who aren’t following Jesus at the present time. And I’m really looking forward to hearing what they have to say. Why I’m a Christian . . . 1. Because life makes no sense to me apart from Christ. Nor does it have any purpose. 2. Because I’ve tried to not believe in Jesus, and I find that I cannot. (Perhaps this is why the early Christians were called “believers.” We believe for reasons that we cannot naturally explain. We believe because we believe. I have certainly struggled with various doubts along the way and questioned why God does and doesn’t do certain things, but that’s a different issue.) 3. Because I’ve never seen the Gospel narratives refuted successfully. Every critique that’s sought to debunk them throughout the years has been discounted under careful scrutiny and scholarship. The Gospels have stood the test of time. 4. Because I’ve never seen the resurrection of Jesus refuted successfully. Upon careful study of all the historical data, it actually takes more faith to deny His resurrection than to believe it occurred. 5. Because it makes no sense to me that Jesus of Nazareth isn’t who He said He was – the Messiah, the Son of the living God. No human being has had nearly the kind of effect on world history as Jesus has (e.g., I’m writing this post in 2012 – what does “2012” mean?). No serious historian denies that Jesus of Nazareth existed (there is more historical attestation for His existence than there is to Julius Caesar and many other ancient figures). And C.S. Lewis’ trilemma – Jesus is either a lunatic, a liar, or lord – rings true for me. 6. Because I can’t help but see the biblical narrative of Creation, Fall, and Redemption echoed in every play, every work of art, every human story, every drama, every movie, and the news I read each day. The Christian story is deeply embedded in the soundtrack of human history and art. 7. Because every time I meet a true follower of Jesus for the first time, I feel like I’ve known him or her all my life. 8. Because Jesus is the most compelling, intriguing, awe-inspiring, and amazing person I know of who is worthy of the greatest admiration, obedience, love, and (uniquely) worship. To my mind, truth, justice, and beauty are all grounded in Him, and His story (as told in the Gospels) trumps every other story known to humanity. 9. Because I’ve never seen any religion or philosophy deliver people from a life of carnality and bondage to addictions. In my experience and observation at least, Jesus transforms people’s lives greater than anything else on the face of the earth. 10. Because I have a deep and unshakeable belief that the Lord Jesus Christ is with me and taking care of me . . . and has all of my life. I cannot imagine life without Christ. 11. Because there is no rational explanation for some of the prayers that I (and others I know) have seen answered “in Jesus’ name.” 12. Because I don’t weep easily, but I readily cry whenever I detect the fingerprints of my Lord or behold His handiwork. What are the reasons why you haven’t trusted your life to Jesus?

Share 0 Satan tempts us to sin and stops us in our tracks by accusations, but his most insidious weapon is deception, because we don’t know when we are being deceived. Through deception, the father of lies has led the whole world astray (see Revelation 12:9). That is why truth sets us free and why the belt of truth is the first piece of our protective armor. Jesus prayed that we would be kept from the evil one by being sanctified in the truth of God’s Word (see John 17:15-17). James admonished us not to be deceived (see James 1:16). There are three primary avenues through which we can be deceived: (1) self-deception, (2) false prophets/teachers and (3) deceiving spirits. Scripture identifies at least eight ways that we can deceive ourselves. First, we can deceive ourselves if we listen to the word of God but don’t do it (see James 1:22-25). “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). We will be self-deceived if we think the Bible is just a textbook that provides us with knowledge. We will hardly be aware of how self-centered and self-righteous we are, but others will likely see the hypocrisy. When the Bible is a mirror it knocks us down a notch, picks us back up, and trains us in righteousness. Second, we can deceive ourselves if we say we have no sin (see 1 John1:8). Having sin and being sin are two different issues. We are not sinless saints; we are saints who sin. If we keep saying that we have done nothing wrong, we may start believing it. Third, we can deceive ourselves if we think we are something when we are not (see Romans 12:3; Galatians 6:3). We are children of God, by the grace of God, who are living our lives before God. Those who think they are special don’t know they really are! Fourth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are wise in this age (see 1 Corinthians 3:18-19). In professing ourselves to be wise we become fools (see Romans 1:22). “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). Wisdom is seeing life from God’s perspective, not ours. Someday we shall see fully, but right now we have one eye starting to slightly open. We don’t have a clue what is going right around us in the spiritual realm. Fifth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are religious but do not keep a tight rein on our tongue (see James 1:26). Spirit-filled Christians exhibit self-control and only use their words to build up others (see Ephesians 4:29-30). Those who can’t control their tongues are denying the anger within them. Sixth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we will not reap what we sow (see Galatians 6:7). Everything we think and do has consequences, and we will one day give an account for our words and our actions. Seventh, we can deceive ourselves when we think the unrighteous will inherit the kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We cannot defend a sinful lifestyle and claim to be Christians by calling sin something other than what it is. Eighth, we can deceive ourselves when we associate with bad company and think it will not corrupt us (see 1 Corinthians 15:33). Sin is contagious. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12, NASB). Dr. Neil www.discipleshipcounsel.com For Spanish see www.ficmm.org/blog

Neil Anderson’s Freedom in Christ Ministry provides powerful, relevant resources for fighting spiritual battles. One of the chief battles every Christian faces is the struggle with fear. “Courage is not the absence of fear, but it is living by faith and doing what is right in the face of untruths. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Proverbs 1:7. Godly fear is the only fear that can overcome all other fears. Irrational fears compel us to live irresponsible lives or prevent us from doing that which is responsible and from being bold in sharing our faith. Lies must be identified, because every irrational fear is based on a falsehood. We must pray for God to reveal what lies beneath the surface of our worries, our controlling fears and pray for victory over them. Here is an example of a prayer that will dispel fear: “Dear God, I confess that I have allowed fear to control me and that lack of faith is sin. Thank You for Your forgiveness. I recognize that “…You have not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and discipline.” 1 Timothy 1:7. I renounce any spirit of fear operating in my life and ask You to reveal any and all controlling fears in my life and the lied behind them. I desire to live by faith in You and in the power of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Many fears can plague us, and the first step to freedom is to identify them. Here is a list that may assist you in discovering why you are afraid: fear of death, fear of never loving or being loved, fear of Satan, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of being victimized, fear of rejection or disapproval, fear of intimacy, divorce, or poverty. We can fear mental or physical illness, the death of a loved one or being a hopeless case. We may fear individuals. Many fear losing their salvation, not being loved by God or committing the unpardonable sin. As you analyze the sources of your fear, ask several questions. When did you first experience a fear and what events triggered it? What lies have you believed that are the basis for the fear? How has the fear kept you from living a responsible life or compromised your witness? Confess any active or passive way that you have allowed fear to control you. Work out a plan of responsible behavior, and determine in advance what your response will be to any fear object. Commit yourself to follow through with your plan. If you do the thing you fear the most, the death of fear is certain. Pray this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I renounce the fear of (name the fear and associated lies) because God has not given me a spirit of fear. I choose to live by faith in You, and I acknowledge You as the only legitimate fear object in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Dispelling fear is a prayer project. Wear your spiritual armor and ask for God’s discernment to fight your fears.” For additional help with fear, read Neal T. Anderson and Rich Miller, Freedom from Fear. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1999.

There’s no end to what we can learn about the brain. Check out this now basic information: “The brain has the storage capacity of 6 million years of the Wall Street Journal” (Greg Iles, quoted in “A Better Brain at Any Age”). An online article gives similar information: “For comparison, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, 2.5 petabytes would be enough to hold three million hours of TV shows. You would have to leave the TV running continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage.” http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-memory-capacity A few other amazing facts about the amazing brain that God created: How much does the average brain weigh? 3 lbs. Most of the brain’s cells are formed before birth , but most of the connections among cells are made during infancy and early childhood. When does the brain reach full size? Age 6 …As a child grows, the number of cells remains stable, but the cells grow in size. The brain is made up of about 75% water. Your brain consists of about 100 billion neurons. There are from 1,000 to 10,000 synapses (gaps where neurotransmitters and electricity are exchange) for each neuron. At what age is the brain fully mature? Age 25 There are no pain receptors in the brain. There are 100,000 miles of blood vessels in the brain. About 70% of visits to the doctor for physical ailments are attributed to psychological factors. Every time you recall a memory or have a new thought, you are creating a new connection in your brain. The brain is always changing itself! Stronger, more intense emotional connections are linked to memories prompted by scent. It’s not true that humans only use 10% of their brains; each part of the brain has a purpose. When you sleep, you’re virtually paralyzed because your brain creates a hormone to prevent you from acting out your dreams. Sleep may be the best time for your brain to consolidate (file away) all your memories from the day. Lack of sleep may hurt your ability to create new memories. Memory is formed by associations , so if you want help remembering things, create associations for yourself. Our brain generates 20-25 watts of power continually and uses 20% of the body’s total energy.

Cleaning; it’s the upkeep side of life. It’s the irritating drudgery that’s always following us around with broom in hand. Cleaning is the voracious vacuum that’s never satisfied, the frantic feather duster that spews more dust than it captures, and the less than palatable reality that things don’t clean themselves. Cleaning is dirt management. The imagery is one of a collection of plastic buckets, dripping mops, obnoxiously scented cleaning supplies, deteriorating sponges of assorted colors, latex gloves and sweat. Who has time to clean? Much less, who wants to clean? The definition of cleaning in the Encarta Dictionary reads “the activity of making things clean, usually in a domestic or commercial environment.” It seems that even the definition of cleaning is redundant. Sadly, cleaning tends to carry a negative connotation to it. It’s just one of those things that we tend to grimace about when we’ve got to do it, or even think about doing it. It’s not on our top ten list of the most engaging things to do. There’s an old African Proverb that says, “When making a fire people like to join you, when cleaning the ashes you are often alone.” There are two sides to most of life; doing something and then cleaning up after we’ve done it. Most of us like the first part of that, but not the second because that involves cleaning. Cleaning seems oddly self-defeating as well. We clean things knowing full well that we’re going to have to clean again. It’s not like there’s anything of real permanence to what we’re doing. Cleaning is not an effort that we can complete and feel some sustaining pride in what we’ve done because what we’ve done we’re going to have to do all over again in just the same way we just did it. There is no conclusion to the process of cleaning. What’s frustrating is that you can’t eliminate dirt; you can only move it to someplace else. Therefore, we never come to a point where it’s done forever and ever. If you think about it further, cleaning as an action is not about obtaining something. It has nothing to do with the further acquisition of anything, nor does it have anything to do with the improvement or advancement of something. Cleaning adds nothing to our lives except cleanliness, and that’s only temporary anyway. In terms of resources or assets or improvements, it gains us none at all. Rather, cleaning is energy and time that we have to put into maintaining what we already have, which adds absolutely nothing to what we already have. Cleaning in and of itself is an acknowledgement that nothing’s permanent and that everything requires maintenance. The acquisition of something doesn’t insure the continuation of that thing. Cleaning clearly lets us know that. We can buy it, barter it, order it, build it, swap it, charge it, win it, and even steal it, but we’re going to have to clean it. Such is the dusty and dirty reality of life. Our Lives Too often our lives are all about the acquisition of things, but not much about the maintenance of them. In reference to ourselves personally, we have been bred with a fairly fierce mentality of acquisition, whether that’s the acquisition of education, licenses, certificates, knowledge, expertise, wisdom, maturity, social acumen, spiritual depth or whatever it might be. It might be about vigorously cultivating our gifts, talents, and natural abilities. Such goals are certainly healthy, admirable and of great value. But in the obtaining and cultivating, do we ever do any cleaning? Do we ever even come close to realizing that things just don’t perpetuate themselves? Does it dawn on us that if we don’t clean, what we’ve amassed can be diminished by the accumulation of filth? Rationalizing Not Cleaning An unknown author wrote, “Law of Window Cleaning: It’s on the other side.” We don’t do a whole lot of personal cleaning because we like to think “it’s on the other side.” We’re all about acquisition and growth, but not much about personal cleaning; about going through the various rooms, crawl spaces, nooks and crannies of our lives, getting on our knees and doing some serious spring cleaning regardless of what time of year it is. That’s not our focus because it’s not our preference. Cleaning is a distant sidebar to a much larger agenda. It’s really not all that imperative. Dust never killed anyone, and who knows, a little dirt might be good for the soul. A few cobwebs aren’t going to rot anything, and a handful of dust bunnies aren’t going to do anything either other than roll around a little. Besides, if there’s really all that much dirt, it’s “on the other side” anyway. So why clean? Seeing dirt “on the other side” is really more about preferring to ignore the dirt in our lives. Cleaning is about dirt. If it weren’t for dirt, we wouldn’t clean. Dirt is as much a reality of our lives as are the things that we amass. In our own lives we prefer to ignore the dirt. We ignore it because it demands that we do something about it. But more than that, we appear to ignore dirt because we want to believe that we’re above dirt. We want to believe that dirt doesn’t collect in our lives; that we’ve outgrown the whole dirt thing and that dirt is the stuff everyone else deals with. We’re clean. We’re good people. We aren’t prone to those kinds of mistakes. We’re ethical. We don’t have any dirt, and if we do it’s just a scant bit of it at best. When we make that assumption and live in that manner we set ourselves up to dramatically let ourselves down. Yet exactly what kind of dirt are we talking about? What are our cobwebs really? And those dust bunnies, what are they? Our Dirt We all have dirt, and probably lots of it. Some of our dirt is shameful and some of its outright embarrassing. Maybe some of our dirt is immoral, unethical and possibly illegal. Maybe our dirt is choice that we made to short-sheet an employer, short-circuit a relationship or short-change a friend. It’s possible that our dirt is a layered collection of lies, distortions and rationalizations that we rigorously fabricated in order to dump our dirt on someone else. Maybe our dirt has been carted along with us for years and years because we could never bring ourselves to deal with it. It’s possible that our dirt is a betrayal or an abandonment of someone or something. Maybe it’s a blatant rejection, or a wound that we intentionally inflicted. Or it might be that our dirt is brand-spanking new; therefore we’ve either rushed in our panic to hide it, or we have no idea what to do with it so we walk around in it. It might be that our dirt isn’t even something that we’ve done yet, but something that we plan to do. Maybe our dirt isn’t about an action at all. Maybe it’s about an attitude, about hating someone, or being jealous, or wishing ill for someone, or harboring a spirit of resentment. Maybe it’s our unwillingness to forgive, or let go, or let the past be the past. Our dirt can be a whole bunch of different things, but its dirt. Accountability – Saying “Yes, I Have Dirt” Who wants to admit that they’re dirty? More than that, who wants to admit how dirty their dirt really is? The hard truth is that some of our dirt is pathetic, putrid, rancid and raunchy. We’ve covered in some pretty reeking and outright foul stuff. Denying it doesn’t remove it, and in no way does denial sweeten it. Placing blame and rationalizing and justifying doesn’t change the reality of our dirt any more than cleaning with a dirty rag somehow makes us clean. As my father was fond of saying, “you can’t put perfume on a pig.” If we want to rid ourselves of dirt, we must admit to it . . . all of it. Honesty – A Necessity for a Complete Cleaning If we want a full cleaning, we can’t do that in isolation, although we’d like to. Cleaning is a corporate activity. If we want an iridescently deep cleaning we can only scrub out the deepest dirt with the scouring pad of a repentant attitude. That means we confess our dirt to those we harmed. We confess the wrongs, the behaviors, the choices, the attitudes, the selfishness, the intent to harm, the greed . . . we fess up and we confess it. That’s the scouring pad. Then we get on our hands and knees and we take the detergent of honesty and accountability and we clean. When we do that we will live with lightness, vigor and a freedom that we could not have imagined. Cleaning Requires Maturity We have a whole lot of people who walk around seeing themselves as shiny clean. We have this spit and polish attitude about ourselves. Yet, we’re all dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we have to stay dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we’re dirty people. It simply means that we’re all fallen and that we all make mistakes. Bad choices are made in this world, and we make our fair share of them. Being accountable to our dirt and then rigorously cleaning it up allows the vibrancy and richness of our humanity to shine through and shine out. It maximizes who we are rather than forcing us to live a minimized life. It allows for a transparency where we can intersect others and be intersected. And in the end, it just feels plain good. So, how about a deep clean? © Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor Used by permission.

Not long ago, someone asked me the following question: “Can you give me some advice on how to handle criticism? I don’t think I’m doing a good job with it. Thanks.” Anyone who is making an impact is going to draw fire. It’s written in the bloodstream of the universe. An oft-repeated platitude is, “If you’re flying over the target, you’re going to catch flack.” Or as Elbert Hubbart stated, “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” If you are someone who is putting (or will one day put) your hand to the plow of God’s work, you will invite criticism. And the more valuable your contribution is to the kingdom of God, the more severe the criticism will be. Just take a look at the long list of specific (and surprising) criticisms that were leveled at both Jesus and Paul during their lifetime. In answer to the above question, here’s what I believe the Lord has taught me about handling criticism. In short, there are three kinds of critics and each should be responded to differently. 1. The Supporters. These are people who love you and support what you are doing. Any criticism they bring your way is constructive. It is designed to make you a better person. Supporters want you to succeed and they are cheering for you and your work. For instance, if you’re a writer, a supporter may point out a typographical or grammatical error. They may also draw your attention to a factual error (perhaps you got a historical date wrong, for instance). Your Response to Supporters. Welcome their criticisms. They are doing you a great service by pointing out your blind spots and oversights. Always thank them for taking the time to draw your attention to such things. Sometimes it’s not easy for them to do so. 2. The Objectors. Objectors are people who have a genuine disagreement with you about something. They aren’t your enemy. Consequently, they aren’t contentious, mean-spirited, and they don’t misrepresent you or your work. None of us can claim immaculate perception; therefore, you could be wrong. So be thankful for these people. Your Response to Objectors. Be open to the objectors because they may be right in their disagreement. Give them an ear and investigate what they are saying. It may turn out that their objection is accurate and they have done you a service by correcting your thinking on something. On the other hand, by analyzing their argument, they may confirm that you are correct. I’ve found that in most cases when I have engaged an objector and we talked through the apparent disagreement, we discovered that we really didn’t disagree. (See So You Think You Disagree? 4 Reasons Why You May Not.) 3. The Trolls. Trolls are people who are set on your destruction. They are governed by hatred, usually rooted in envy or jealousy. Oftentimes, trolls will first deliberately misrepresent you. But if that doesn’t work, they will resort to personal attacks and character assassination. Trolls are dishonest and traffic in manufacturing lies, spinning the truth, and distorting facts. They do not receive correction from anyone, and they lose credibility quickly. Only the gullible and those who also operate by hatred and envy agree with and support them. Trolls usually attack those they don’t know personally. Another common characteristic is that they repeatedly lift themselves up while tearing others down. They are inflicted with an inflated ego that has never gone to the cross. For this reason they are toxic to others. Your Response to Trolls. All social media experts say the same thing: Don’t feed the trolls; ignore them. If you engage a troll and try to correct him/her, it will be in vain. In fact, it’s counterproductive because it simply makes them appear more credible and draws attention to their dishonest statements. The experts point out that trolls don’t dignify a response. They are being deliberately dishonest so there’s no use in trying to correct them. The wisest course of action is to ignore them. As Proverbs 26:4 says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you will be like him yourself.” Eventually, trolls always end up dying on their own swords. Each of the three kinds of critics can be Christians (trolls are often professing Christians, sometimes claiming their Christianity quite loudly). When it comes to criticism, it’s important to remember that all things that come into your life – good or evil — have first passed through God’s hands (Romans 8:28ff.) So be thankful to the Lord for criticism. Receive the constructive kind with a spirit of gratefulness and ignore that which is rooted in falsehood, taking the high road as did your Lord when He was under attack: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23) frankviola.org . Used by permission.

RESOLVING HYPOCRISY: Most of us are unaware of how hypocrisy controls our lives. Here is a list of symptoms that will identify areas you need to address in your integrity in relationships toward others, toward God and in your morality. Neil Anderson, president of Freedom in Christ Ministries, has provided this powerful, helpful tool. LIST each way, either in the past or present, that you have pretended outwardly something that is not true inwardly. . HYPOCRISY TOWARD OTHERS Pretending to obey parents while being inwardly rebellious. Criticizing other’s failures when my spiritual problems are similar. Pretending to care for others while being bitter, resentful and angry. Saying one thing with my lips outwardly, but thinking differently in my heart. Saying I love someone when, in reality, I really hate them. Only telling the things about myself that I want others to know, instead of what is true. Being afraid of what others would think if they knew what I was like on the inside. Projecting myself as having it all together (no problems) out of fear of rejection from others. Dishonesty in sharing my weaknesses with others for fear of being rejected. Lying about things that happen, to cover up what I do. Lying to gain the acceptance of others. Identifying the problems that others have but not seeing my own. Matthew 7:5 Asking others to do things I am unwilling to do (i.e. clean house, wash dishes, etc…). HYPOCRISY TOWARD GOD Pretending to be close to God, when not desiring or enjoying a relationship with Him. Practicing religious activity to be seen and praised by men. Matthew 6:2,5,16 Pretending to be excited about fellowship with other believers, when in reality only wanting to impress them with my spirituality. Giving money to gain the praise of men. Matthew 6:2 Praying to impress others with my spirituality. Mathew 6:5 Fasting to impress others with my spirituality. Matthew 6:16 Pretending to be excited about service for the Lord, when merely doing it out of obligation. Pretending to live a holy life, but inwardly wishing I didn’t have to. Pretending to be a spiritual person when I’m really not. Saying I love God, but not obeying what He commands in His Word. Luke 6:46 Saying I have an intimate relationship with God, but seldom seeking Him in prayer. Obeying God because of a fear of what others will think of me. Making spiritual decisions based on other’s expectations of me. MORAL HYPOCRISY Pretending to have pure moral thoughts while yielding to lustful thoughts. Telling my spouse I am morally pure when being unfaithful in desires, thoughts or actions. Once you have allowed the Holy Spirit to convict you of hypocrisy, pray this prayer to be freed from Satan’s foothold in this area of your life. “Lord, I acknowledge and renounce my hypocrisy as evidenced through my evaluation listed above. I thank you for your forgiveness for my hypocrisy and choose to respond with openness, truthfulness and honesty from my heart.” Re-printed from FREEDOM IN CHRIST MINISTRIES, Dr. Neil Anderson, founder. Used by permission.

What are you trusting God to do in your life today? Do you need to address some things in your health, break some old habits and start some new ones? Maybe you have potential for promotion on the horizon at work, or you just need a job. It could be a breakthrough in your relationships—in your marriage, with coworkers, with adult or teenage children. Are you asking yourself: can I trust myself to do what’s needed to turn things around? Can I trust the other person to do their part in relationship repair? Can I continue to be patient and trust God? Trust is a major factor, and must be handled intentionally. Remember the formula: Information + Insight + Action = an Intentional Life in Christ. Trust always requires action to move forward. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of broken trust. Are you in a fractured relationship because of your betrayal of trust? Your behavior put you in this situation and only your behavior can repair the breach. Trust is earned—it’s a gift that someone chooses to give to you. When you rob someone of their ability to trust you, you have to be realistic. They are unable to immediately trust you again. In order to repair trust: Find out what’s really important to them in the area where you’ve been unfaithful. Ask them, “What do I need to do to regain your trust?” Then faithfully work to retain their trust by proving to be completely trustworthy with your words and behaviors. If you are the one struggling to deal with the hurt because someone betrayed your trust, it’s vital for you to totally and unreservedly forgive that person. That sounds extremely hard, but it’s not impossible when you follow God’s example. Think about how He forgave you. He knew long before Christ’s death and resurrection that millions of people over thousands of years would refuse Him, and He forgave anyway. When you forgive: Be specific in communicating exactly what you need to forgive. Recognize your emotions and let them assist you in clarifying your thoughts, helping you move ahead. Don’t become discouraged if it takes some time to let go. Forgiveness is often a daily, ongoing act requiring commitment and persistence. Trust God without reservation and ask Him to heal your broken relationships and renew the trust with those who have hurt you. Intentional ONE THING Challenge If you could do ONE THING and know that it would make a significant, lasting, possibly life-changing difference in your life, would you do it? Dr. Carlson shares the power of ONE THING and why you should get started doing your ONE THING today. Tell Us What are you trusting God to do in your life this year? We’d love to hear your stories. Post your comments below. www.theintentionallife.com . Used by permission.

Dad, did you know that your relationship with your daughter is the most important relationship in her life? It is. Enjoy it. Encourage her. She is seeking your approval. A good dad in the home makes everyone’s life better! If your daughter feels loved and valued by her dad, she won’t go seeking love in the wrong places. If you don’t put away your critical eye and flaw-picking, you will destroy your daughter. Here are some helpful tips: The key relationship for your daughter is your daughter’s relationship with her dad. If not dad, then a male like grandfather or a much older brother can take that role. You, Dad, represent all of masculinity to your daughter. Dads can bless their daughters by talking about how young men view girls, how her outfits effect boys and how boys are affected by her actions. It doesn’t take long for a daughter to get inside her father’s heart. If you have a critical eye, or are a flaw-picker, stop before you make her life miserable. Give her lots of encouragement. She is looking to be accepted by YOU. She needs to feel valued by her dad. Wives, never put your husband down in front of your daughter. It shows her that she can tear into her own husband some day. A good dad means taking an interest in what your daughter is interested in, encouraging her, being a steady hand in her life, and listening to her heart. She needs to know that you love her no matter what. Taken from Be the Dad She Needs You to Be. Used by permission.

It was just another day at the office for me. Morning counseling sessions had gone well, and it’s a rare day that I ever hear anything new. Well actually after over 30 years of counseling, I hear something new maybe once a year. Even though everyone’s situation is different, there is usually a sense in which clients’ counseling issues are “generic” or similar to other situations. Here’s an interesting situation that seemed at first to be generic. It would be another year before I understood how close a young woman came to ruining her life. I counseled a woman who was afraid to let her husband know that she was in my counseling office. Married for only a few months, she couldn’t stop weeping. She had suffered from so much controlling behavior on the part of her new husband that she couldn’t stand it anymore. From all I could gather, this man was a professional invalidator, not so much a friend as a “frenemy.” As I do in most such cases, I asked if the husband would come in for marriage counseling. Of course, if the husband is knocking her around, I won’t see the couple together, and I often won’t see the husband alone, either. It depends on the wishes of the wife and my estimation of the value of seeing him alone. Anyway, this tearful, fearful soul would not allow me to call the husband. No way. She was way too scared. She would also never tell him that she was coming for counseling. Of course, because she was my client, I had to respect her wishes. Here’s something she didn’t know, and I never told her. About one year before, I counseled a different young woman who was thinking of marrying this same man. She described how he raised his voice with her, continually telling her how to drive, how to eat, how to talk, how to shut up, you name it. He played an updated version of “Simon Says,” fancying himself as Simon; and if someone did something that Simon didn’t way, watch out! Although I rarely say this to anyone, I advised that she run from this man as fast as she could. Which – thankfully – she did! I think she saved herself a life filled with pain. She saved herself from being the other woman in my office. As unfortunate fate or naiveté would have it, the woman who was weeping in my office had not received premarital counseling. She married the man that the first woman I counseled wisely broke up with. I hate to say this, but the professional invalidator’s behavior was pretty much a run of the mill “red flag.” At the end of most of the divorce recovery groups I’ve facilitated, I ask for a list of red flags from the group members. I’m trying to help them remind each other what to “look out for” in their next relationship. The list assembles itself very quickly because – at this point – I’m talking to a group of relationship specialists. They have gained new strength from their relationships in the group and they’ll probably never miss seeing the red flags again! Many red flags are less obvious than controlling behavior, of course, and some are more obvious. Be on the lookout and learn exactly what to do once you’ve seen those flashes of red that you think must be your imagination. But, hey, guess what? You’re not simply seeing the best color, perhaps, to accent a wardrobe, as red is said to be. You’re probably seeing the real enchilada. The real cape of the matador. What does a red flash that’s more than an accent to an otherwise buried personality look like? A real warning sign? Here’s one simple example: I heard someone say that if someone tells you he’s not good enough for you, believe him! ‘Nuf said. That’s an example! Run! The brightest and largest of red flags that are proudly carried by classic toxic flashers. I mean red flag flashers! These Don Quixote’s run to the battle! (Oh, if the person’s last name is Quixote, run from that person, too.) I’ll introduce you first to these most obvious of self-deceived deceivers. Some have subtle characteristics and simply wear a small red flag pin in their lapel. The latter group may simply be carriers of toxicity. They might not even know that they’re carriers. They don’t run to the battle. They’re snipers on an adventure. You can’t understand what’s happening to your identity. Even the snipers may think that you’re both on a romantic lark! But just as a bad flu can take you out for a month or so, less diagnosable toxicity can also subtract you from the land of the living for months at a time. It can take quite awhile to believe your friends who keep asking why you’re standing on your head. You are certain that you’re right side up. Stupid friends! What do they know? They’re just jealous because they don’t have someone as much as the sniper loves you! Learn be an excellent diagnostician of all manner of relationship traps…and of red flags….and of flashers…I mean red flag flashers! Become a black belt in red! Learn to be wise and discerning in all your relationships! Notes: “Author Ankush Modawal ?Chintan Yes, there are a lot of she devils out there as well! Beware, like the warning on car’s side mirrors, they might be closer than they appear.”

I know a pastor in California who reversed his position on homosexuality. The pastor said that his shift coincided with his 15 year-old son’s announcement that he is gay. This is a situation every Christian should think through, now. At stake on the issue of a Christian sexual ethic is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But what if, sitting across from you, is your child or grandchild? You will, without a doubt, have someone close to you in your family come out as gay or lesbian, if not already, then sometime in the future. How should a Christian parent or grandparent respond? One of the reasons this is such a crushing experience for many is because they assume that their alternatives are affirmation or alienation. I either give up my relationship with my child or I give up the Bible. The gospel never suggests this set of alternatives, and in fact demonstrates just the opposite. Every child, whether gay or straight, is oriented toward sin, and so are you. If your child or grandchild says he or she is gay, you shouldn’t act shocked, as though you are surprised your child might be tempted toward sin, or that you find your own sinful inclinations somehow less deserving of God’s judgment. Your child’s point of temptation doesn’t mean that your entire relationship with him or her should be defined by that. We don’t affirm what the Bible says is wrong simply because someone we love is drawn toward it, whether that’s “straight” fornication or gay relationships. At the same time, that doesn’t mean your entire relationship is now to become a sparring match over Romans 1. Ironically, those who cut off all relationship with a gay child buy into the narrative of the Sexual Revolutionaries, that every aspect of one’s identity is defined by sexual orientation and activity. As a Christian, you believe this person is made in the image of God, and thus worthy of love, regardless of how far away from God, or from you. First of all, consider what your child is telling you. He or she could be saying that this is an identity, from which they refuse to repent. That will require a different sort of response than if the child is saying, “This is how I feel, so what do I do?” This will change the way you respond, but what doesn’t change is your love and care for this child. Don’t panic and don’t reject them. Say explicitly that you love that child, no matter what, and mean it. Your relationship wasn’t formed by the child’s performance, and that won’t start now. If your loved one is a Christian, spend time over the years discipling him or her about what following Christ looks like. Jesus isn’t shocked by his or her temptations, and will not leave him or her alone to fight them. The path toward chastity and fidelity to Christ is a difficult one, and your child or grandchild will need you and the church and the great cloud of witnesses to cheer him or her on, as they walk a path that can be lonely in a world that too often defines sex and sexuality as ultimate in life. If your loved one isn’t a Christian, express your love, keep the relationship going, and be a gracious gospel witness. God never promises us that our children or grandchildren will all walk the way of Christ. Every wandering son or daughter needs to know that if the moment of crisis comes in his or her life, there’s a house waiting with a fatted-calf party ready to go, welcoming the wanderer home. One of the reasons this is so hard for some parents and grandparents is because somehow we assume this issue to be merely a “culture war” issue, and not a gospel issue. As such, parents are often perplexed as to how to deal with this in their families because they think this is about them. They wonder if others will judge them, as though they did something to “cause” this. That’s ridiculous, and it leads people ultimately either to reject biblical teaching to keep their kids or reject their kids (and their gospel witness to them) for the sake of appearing to keep the biblical teaching. At the root of all of that is pride, and I don’t mean that in the sense of “gay pride” but in the sense of carnal self-seeking. That’s a temptation for all parents, not just for those of gay children. We’re tempted to see our children as reflections of ourselves, and we’re tempted then to keep up our image. Crucify that temptation. God calls us to holiness, and to encourage one another to holiness. The Bible is clear that this means fleeing from sexual immorality, and that includes same-sex sexual activity (1 Cor. 6). God also calls parents to love their children. Be clear about your convictions, and at the same time don’t exile your child from your life. If we sacrifice grace for truth or truth for grace, we’re sub-Christian. www.russellmoore.com . Russell Moore is president of The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission.