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The stern warning to Ephesus is followed by an encouragement that is notoriously difficult to understand. It is this encouragement that provides us with a considerable amount of clarity about the matter of criticism itself. 6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate. (Rev 2:6) The encouragement had to do with Christ’s affirmation that the believers in Ephesus do hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans. In order to understand what those deeds may have been we must see what John was asked to write to the congregation in another great Roman city in the Asia Minor – the City of Pergamum. We read in Rev. 2:13-15 “I know where you dwell, where Satan’s throne is… I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols and to commit acts of immorality. So you also have some who in the same way hold the teaching of the Nicolaitans.” ( Rev 2:13-15 ) In these verses we see the evil deeds of Balaam in teaching Balak to entice Israel to sin. The treachery concerned two things 1) eating foods sacrificed to idols and 2) engaging in acts that are sexually immoral ( Num 22-24 ). T hese things are somehow connected with the evil teachings of the Nicolaitans. Incidentally, the decision of the Jerusalem council as expressed in their letter to the Gentile followers of Jesus, while exempting the non-Jews from all kinds of burdens of observance obligatory to Jews, set forth a concrete set of food-related prohibitions for Gentiles as well. We read in Acts 15:28-29 , “For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these essentials: that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell.” It is not hard to notice that out of four behaviors forbidden to Gentiles two had do to with Nicolaitans and Balam/Balak issues (eating food sacrificed to idols and sexual immorality). It is important to see that this combination of food and sex-related offenses was particularly important for the Jewish Apostles and elders to address in their letter to Gentile converts to the Jewish Christ. In other words, is it even conceivable that the Apostles would permit Gentile followers of Christ to commit murder, to steal or to be obsessed with the possessions of their neighbors?! The answer to this is of course not. This was not a comprehensive list. But these issues brought up at the Jerusalem Council (consuming food sacrificed to idols, blood, and illicit sex) seem to constitute central challenges that the Gentile followers of the Jewish Christ encountered in their daily lives in the Roman Empire. In the Roman world, the overwhelming majority of meat sold on the market was first offered/dedicated to one or another deity. The only exception to this was the Judean/Jewish isolation from the rest of the Roman population who had their own slaughter rules and privileges. Most Jews residing in the Roman Empire were a part of the network in which food was handled differently. The writings of the Apostle Paul to the nations (all the letters that Saul/Paul ever wrote that made into our New Testament) show clearly that these issues continued to plague the believers enough for him to address them in considerable detail (1 Cor.8-10). Judging from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians (that we mistakenly call the first Letter to the Corinthians – 1 Cor.5:9) some Gentile Christ-followers felt that they could continue to purchase and consume meat that had been sacrificed to a pagan deity. The Apostle Paul while agreeing with them that these gods (idols) are nothing, sides with the Jerusalem council in forbidding all the Gentile Christ-followers from eating food associated with Greco-Roman worship rituals in any way (1 Cor.8:1-13). Having considered this important issue, let us return to the discussion of the Nicolaitans. Who were the Nicolaitans and what is the origin of this word that first comes up in Rev. 2:6and then is repeated in Rev. 2:15? The main traditional attempt to understand the etymology of the word is often tied to diaconal appointee Nicolas in Acts 6:5 – “The proposal pleased the entire group, so they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, with Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, a Gentile convert to Judaism from Antioch.” Presumably at some later stage Nicolas began to teach what was eventually defined as evil deeds of the Nicolaitans and the matter is quite obscure. However, there is another, often overlooked option, suggested many years ago by great Jewish Christian Hebraist John Lightfoot. It allows one to continue reading the Book of Revelation as thoroughly Jewish anti-Roman document. He suggested that perhaps deacon Nicolas was a wrong trail to follow. Instead Nicolaitans was a Hebraism (in this case something originally said in Hebrew but spelled with Greek letters). What did he have in mind? In Hebrew in order to say “we will eat” verb ???? (nokhal) would have been used. We read in Is.4:1, “And seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat (???????) our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach. If this Hebrew word ???? (nokhal) is transferred into Greek it can be used as a term describing the “we will eat” people. In a sense that this was their motto, their sentiment – “we will eat” the food that others think is forbidden (food offered to pagan deities). Thus ??? ?????????? (ton nikolaton) “the Nicolaitans” as a group or teaching can originate from Hebrew ???? (nokhal) “we will eat” making a cohesive connection to the context of Balaam and Balak and incident in the book of Numbers referred to in Rev. 2:13-15. 7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’ (Rev 2:7) “The one who has an ear, let him hear” is also a Hebraism that is used also on a number of occasions in the Gospels by Jesus himself. For example, in parable of the seed falling on the good soil and producing various level of fruit (Mark 4:1-20). The basic meaning of this Hebraism is this: “if one is able to hear it, one must obey it.” In this case (Rev. 2:7) what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Christ-following congregations of the Asia Minor is so important that if one hears it, one must obey it. Besides the Hebraism there is a word play in Greek of this verse. The one who hears is “the one who overcomes” ?? ??????? (to nikoti) which is a form of the verb ????? (nikao) that means “to win, conquer, persevere and be victorious”. This suspiciously sounds very similar to the term we just encountered – ??????????? (nikolates) “a Nicolaitan”. If the motto of Nicolaitans is “we will eat” then as a pun this is exactly what God promises to the one who overcomes. If they forgo eating food sacrificed to idols they will eat of the Tree of Life and live. The writer of the Wisdom of Solomon compared the righteous people to the trees of life, as if each one of them is a tree. 1 Faithful is the Lord to them that love Him in truth, To them that endure His chastening, (2) To them that walk in the righteousness of His commandments, In the law which He commanded us that we might live. 2(5) The pious of the Lord shall live by it forever; The Paradise of the Lord, the trees of life, are His pious ones. 3(4) Their planting is rooted for ever. They shall not be plucked up all the days of heaven: (5) For the portion and the inheritance of God is Israel. ( Wisdom of Solomon 14:1-5 ) Almighty always keeps those he calls and chooses. He chastises them but always desires for them to prove themselves faithful, so that they may be with him forever, planted as the trees in the House of the Lord. This was a serious warning. www.eteacherbiblical.com . Used by permission.

Narrow-minded, judgmental Christians. That’s how many people view Christ-followers. Often we do not convey God’s love, mercy and compassion as we ought. However, Christianity is not simply a set of “shoulds.” Why is Christianity unique among all world religions? Many people say, “Essentially, all religions are alike, with only minor differences. They all reach ‘love your neighbor, be good, don’t steal, don’t kill, don’t cheat, be kind and make the world a better place.’ Take Christianity, for instance. Christ taught that we should follow the Golden Rule by being kind to our neighbors. “So I say religion is like choosing a car. There are lots of models and makes, but they’re all designed to get you where you want to go. Whether it’s Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, or Christ, they all teach the same thing, they all go the same place…” God created man and woman for intimate fellowship with Him and with each other, but they rejected His fellowship and chose to rebel (sin). Subsequently, all have sinned, but God had determined to restore us to Himself. The plan called for Jesus, God the Son, to become the God-man and die on the cross, suffering the penalty of sin on our behalf. The plan was carried out and God’s righteous justice was satisfied. Now God is able to bring us into loving fellowship with Himself as His forgiven children. That’s the gospel; God reaching down to us, offering us a permanent connection with Himself through Christ. Religion, by contrast, is man’s attempt to reach God, an attempt that always fails. Many challengers of Christianity ignore the fact that Christ is the basis for Christianity. For example: I discovered that Christianity is based on the life, character, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, instead of learning that Christ came to teach Christianity, I realized that Christ is Christianity. Most other religions are based on philosophical propositions or theological ideologies. Remove the founding prophet or guru, and the religion remains essentially intact. 1. Mohammed Remove Mohammed from Islam, and Islam remains. Mohammed, being simply the communicator of Allah’s will, is not critically important to Islam; but what he communication about Allah and his will is all-important to that religion. In Islam, then, the message is far more important than the founding messenger. The teachings count for more than the teacher! 2. Buddha Remove Buddha, and Buddhism remains. Buddhism rests mainly on Buddha’s teachings, which instruct the faithful to lead a tranquil life through attainment of a disciplined state of mind. Buddha, himself, is not essential to the quest. 3. Confucius Remove Confucius, and Confucianism remains. Confucianism teaches philosophical concepts about wise behavior. It is a religion in which the identity of Confucius, its founder, is inconsequential. 4. Christ (No Christ – No Christianity) Remove Christ, however, and Christianity crumbles. The identity of Jesus is crucial to Christianity. Without Christ, Christianity would cease to exist, for it rests upon His claims to be the eternal Son of God, a claim attested to by the resurrection. Personal faith in Christ establishes a relationship with God, thereby distinguishing Christianity from all other religions. As a university student, I was challenged by a group of Christians to investigate the truthfulness of Christianity. Not long after I met these Christians, I learned something that altered my outlook on Christianity. I asked one of the students, “Tell me, what changed your life?” She said, “Jesus Christ.” I never thought I’d hear that in the university. I said, “Don’t feed me that garbage; I’m fed up with religion.” She shot back, “Josh, I didn’t say religion; I said the person of Jesus Christ.” My heart was touched. Her reply pointed our something I’d never known before – Christianity is not a religion; it’s an intimate relationship which God is offering men and women through his Son, Jesus Christ. I longed to know that intimacy, unconditional love and forgiveness. For further study, read: Genesis 3:8; Mark 3:14; 1 Corinthians 1:9; Hebrews 4:15; Revelation 3:20 www.josh.org

Church history shows us that in key periods of time, God gives specific assignments to His followers. In times past, when God’s church has been at its most prayerful, courageous, unified and culturally engaged, the Lord has used His people to: • Fight slavery • End segregation • Fight human trafficking • Fight child labor • Promote literacy • Oppose gladiatorial combat / death games (in ancient Rome) • Fight infanticide (throughout history) • Oppose child marriage (in 3rd world countries) • End temple prostitution (Rome) • Stand against child sexual abuse and child prostitution • Fight the view that wives are mere “property” • Fight for fair treatment of prisoners • Promote the equality of mankind • Build hospitals, create relief agencies, and invest for the betterment of the human condition …etc., etc. Clearly, when followers of Jesus link arms for cultural engagement, the trajectory of history is changed. As Christians we must ask, “What may I do in my lifetime that will count for eternity? How may my life and abilities be invested in Christ’s Great Commission?” For the following ten reasons, the conversion of Muslims must be a top priority for Christians in America. I also want to share with you HOW to win a Muslim to Christ. Reaching them with Jesus’ love is the only way to truly change the world. 1. Love of Truth Christians are called to love what is true (Philippians 4:8). The truth is: • Mohammed was not a true prophet, because he taught things that contradict Scripture; • Allah is a false god, because there is only one true God, the father of Jesus Christ; • The Quran is not a holy book, as Scripture clearly warns against adding anything to God’s Holy Word; • The message of Islam does not correspond to reality, as its ‘truth claims’ or doctrine are false. These include its interpretation of history, its views of the Jewish people, and its murderous perspective of non-Muslims. Christians must oppose Islam because it is demonstrably false. Because we are called to love what is true, as Christians, we should want to see Muslims come to know the truth as well. 2. Devotion to Jesus Christ One of the biggest differences between Islam and Christianity is the view on the nature and mission of Jesus. Muslims often show respect for faithful followers of Isa (Jesus). And in some places, Islam affirms Christ, called “Messiah,” the Word of God, Spirit of God, “born of the virgin Mary.” Muslims are to honor prophets, and Jesus is called a prophet, and the Koran even says that Jesus performed miracles, and raised someone from the dead. The prophet Mohammed is given none of these accolades in the Koran. However, no Christian can affirm Islam because of its clear denials and distortions about Jesus. Islam denies: • The deity of Jesus • The incarnation of Jesus • The Trinitarian understanding of Jesus • The crucifixion of Jesus • The atonement for sin by Jesus • Jesus’ physical resurrection from the grave Scripture provides a clear way to test whether a prophet is true or false. A true prophet will not deny the deity of Jesus Christ (Col. 2:8-9), and a true prophet will not deny the humanity of Jesus Christ (1 John 4:1-2). Because Islam denies Jesus’ deity, a Christian cannot consider Islam a true religion. 3. Commitment to Scripture 2 Timothy 3:16 clearly teaches that all Scripture is God-breathed, inspired by God, and as Christians, we are called to be not only hearers of the Word of God but also doers, lest we deceive ourselves (James 1:22). Adherence to God’s Word in its entirety is not optional for true believers in Christ. As a result, ‘watering down’ the truths proclaimed in Scripture and acceding that all religions are equal is clear disobedience to God’s Word. 4. Compassion for Lost Souls One of the most important reasons we must pray and work for the conversion of Muslims is that we should be heartbroken that 1.6 billion souls are lost and without hope. There is no other name but the name of Jesus by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). 5. Respect for Human Rights The abuse of women and children in Islamic culture is well-documented, as is the persecution of so-called ‘infidels.’ Forced marriage of young girls and the overt repression of woman is often not only accepted but welcomed. Islam upholds no intrinsic value of human life as created in the image of God, but values only those lives that bring ‘honor’ to the Prophet. There is supposed ‘honor,’ however, in killing those who dishonor him. In The Clash of Civilizations, Harvard University Professor and former Carter Administration cabinet member Samuel P. Huntington wrote: “Wherever one looks along the perimeter of Islam, Muslims have problems living peaceably with their neighbors. Muslims make up about one-fifth of the world’s population, but in the 1990’s, they have been far more involved in inter group violence than the people of any other civilization. The evidence is overwhelming…There were, in short, three times as many intercivilizational conflicts involving Muslims as there were conflicts between all non-Muslim civilizations. (Huntington, Samuel. The Clash of Civilizations. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, 1996. p. 256-258.) As Christians, we are called to esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3); therefore, we should be dedicated to urging Muslims to turn away from a belief system that abuses human rights. 6. Belief in God-Given Liberty Because America is the land of the free, our nation has been able to send missionaries worldwide to share the love of Jesus Christ, and here at home, we have been able to minister to the poor, help the downtrodden, and practice our faith freely. As Christians, if we believe in this God-given liberty and freedom of conscience, we must work to convert Muslims to faith in Jesus, or else, we stand to lose our liberty. Consider that there are 2.4 million Muslims in US today. Two-thirds of these are immigrants, having come here from 68 countries. According to a USA Today article from May 23, 2007, “The USA’s 2.4 million Muslims hold more moderate political views than Muslims elsewhere in the world.” However, “pockets of sympathy for Islamic extremism (exist in the US), especially among younger people.” Additionally, “47 percent of Muslims consider themselves Muslims first and Americans second.” Huntington also wrote: “It is hard to find statements by any Muslims, whether politicians, officials, academics, businesspersons, or journalists, praising Western values and institutions.” (Huntington. The Clash of Civilizations. p. 213.) 7. Patriotism toward America Our primary allegiance as Christians must always be to Christ alone; yet, as we have been given the blessing to live in a free nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles, we also have the responsibility to defend our freedoms, as they provide the best opportunity for sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When Christopher Columbus wrote in his journal about his life purpose as well as his understanding of God’s hand in his actions, his words read that he was “devoted to the holy Christian faith and propagators thereof, and enemies of the sect of Mahomet (Mohammed) and of idolatries and heresies” and that his purpose in traveling to parts of India was “to see those princes and peoples and land and the character of them and of all else, and the manner which should be used to bring about their conversion to our holy faith…” Columbus also frequently quoted Matthew 28:19-20 (The Great Commission) and Acts 1:8 (“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” NIV) in relation to himself, and he believed God had a divine plan for the North American continent and that he was a part of it. And central to this plan was sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Contrast this with the belief of Islam regarding America. Listen to the words of extremist leaders: • “The real matter is the extinction of America, and God willing, it will fall to the ground.” Mullah Mohammed Omar, January, 2002 • “The White house will turn black with God’s help, and America, England, and Israel should be destroyed.” Jerusalem Mufti (the highest Islamic religious teacher in Jerusalem) • “Jihad is our path, let us damn America, let us damn Israel.” Sami Al-Arian, Kuwaiti native and University of South Florida professor • “Have no mercy on the Jews, where ever you are, kill those Jews and the Americans who are like them.” Sheik Ahmed Abu Halabiya, in a sermon broadcast on Palestinian Authority television Consider this: An October 2001 survey of over 500,000 people from so-called “Moderate” Islamic nations yielded more than one-half million responses affirming that Osama Bin Laden—the mastermind behind the 9/11 terror attacks on America— is viewed as “a folk hero, and a righteous Muslim.” If we love our nation, Christians must pray for the conversion of Muslims. 8. Concern for our Descendants Recent billboards in Cairo, Egypt read: “The Muslims are coming! We are going to change the face of the world by Islam, and rule by the Koran!” Dave Phillips is a campus minister to international students, and he works with many Muslim youth, both American and immigrant. In his words: “Muslim parents tend to pass down the good, and bypass the darker stories of the past. They never mention the Christian youths persecuted by Muslims and forced to convert and become the Janissaries, during the Ottoman Empire. They never mention the hundreds of thousands of Armenians killed in Turkey in 1915. Even today, they ignore the Sudanese government which imposes Sharia law on Christian black tribes… through starvation and military attacks.” (Taber. Muslims Next Door. p. 60.) The bloody legacy of Islam has already impacted our generation: • Pan Am Flight 103 • World Trade Center bombing, 1993 • US Military bombings, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia • American Embassy bombing, Africa • USS Cole bombing • World Trade Center Towers, 9-11-01 • Jihad killings of 3,000,000 in Sudan (at one point, 800,000 Christians were killed in under 90 days) Unless the advance of Islam is halted, this is the future our children will face. 9. Quest for Self-Preservation “It [Islam] is the only religion that was started in conscious opposition to Christianity.” (Hume, R.E. The World’s Living Religions. New York, New York: Charles Scribner & Sons. p. 213.) In his book, The World’s Living Religions, R.E. Hume, Ph.D. writes, “Mohammed was a domineering, warring, autocrat. He prescribed war, and advocated violence toward all non-Muslims.” (Hume 218). And perhaps even more sobering is Hume’s observation: “Nowhere in the world is there a notably successful self-governing national administration which has been started by Muslims.” Yet, today, we see Muslims not only refusing to assimilate into Western culture in terms of accepting Western law but also attempting to infiltrate Western culture with Sharia law. Islam has one goal: dominance. Yet, such dominance can exist only when self-government is obliterated. 10. Worship of God In all of this, our highest motive for wanting to see the conversion of Muslims is not so the world will be less violent. It’s not even so 1.6 billion people will avoid hell. For the Christian, our desire to see the conversion of Muslims is also motivated by our desire for there to be more worshippers of the living God! John Piper said that “…missions and evangelism exists, because worship of the true God does not currently exist among all peoples.” Conclusion A great spiritual battle is taking place in our nation, and it’s one that will not resolve on its own. We would do well to remember the worlds of Benjamin Franklin, spoken to the delegates working through a period of crisis during the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia: “We have been assured, Sir, in the sacred writings, that ‘except the Lord Build the House they labor in vain that build it.’ (Psalm 127:1). I firmly believe this; and I also believe that without concurring aid we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel: We shall be divided by our little partial local interests; our projects will be confounded, and we ourselves shall become a reproach and bye word down to future ages.”(Farrand, Max, ed. The Records of the Federal Convention of 1787. Volume I. p. 451-452.) How Do We as Christians Respond to Islam? Certainly, there is a theological response to Islam. For example: • Jesus’ claims about salvation were confirmed by an unparalleled degree of proof. Christ physically rose from death, confirming who He was and what He taught. Mohammad’s teachings were not accompanied by supernatural confirmation, and the Muslim prophet himself said he did no miracles. • Compelling data affirm the trustworthiness of the Bible. Muslims believe the New Testament is not trustworthy because the original documents allegedly have been altered over the years. However, no one can point out the alleged “changes” or when they were supposedly made. The corruptions simply aren’t there. • John 3:16’s literal meaning matters. Whether a Bible translation reads that Jesus is God’s “only begotten Son” or “one and only Son,” this verse does not imply that God had physical relations with Mary, as Muslims believe. The original language asserts that Jesus is, literally, “of the same nature” or “essence” as the Father. • Christianity is unique in that Jesus is a loving and sinless Savior. The Koran’s suras 40:55 and 48:1-2 teach that Muhammad was a sinner. Because Jesus possessed both full divinity and sinless humanity, He was qualified to die sacrificially and capable of rising by His own power. • Christians have an intimate personal relationships with Jesus and great joy knowing they are secure in Christ (John 10:28-29). Where one stands with God is the most important issue of life—more important than culture, family background or social customs. There is also a practical response: • Pray! Prayer is indispensable. Indeed, Scripture teaches that God the Father is the One Who draws people to Jesus. • Be very kind to Muslims. • Be very humble, and avoid an air of superiority or cockiness at all costs. • Be patient, and be ready to re-explain certain things several times. • Quote the Bible freely. Muslims have a degree of reverence for the Bible. • Focus on Jesus Christ. • Emphasize that Christians have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ (John 15:1-8, 1 John 1:3; 1 John 5:11-13; Revelation 3:20). • Emphasize that Christianity is unique among the world’s religions. • Share that Christians have great joy in knowing that they are SECURE in Christ. • Point out that where one stands with God is the most important issue of life. Oh – and did I mention, pray. “…That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.” Romans 10:9-10

Complacency is a potently tragic hallmark of our lives. We’ve certainly got bunches of it. In fact, as the old saying goes, we’ve got it “in spades.” Complacency is conceived in the bosom of familiarity , where something becomes so commonplace that we errantly render it as ‘common.’ We’ve yet to beat this terribly corrosive tendency we have to assume that the more we have of something, the less it’s inherent value. And held tight in the womb of such thinking, complacency is vigorously nurtured and eventually borne. With such a debilitating mentality, it often takes the absence of something to help us understand why the presence of that thing is so terribly vital. In fact, how vital something is might best be illustrated by removing it altogether. We are constantly surrounded by things that are absolutely vital to our existence, yet the regularity of their existence renders them ‘common.’ In time, ‘common’ becomes bland. And in time, bland becomes invisible. And over time, we walk in the company things wholly vital to our existence, but we feel ourselves to be walking alone. We become complacent. Diluting of Love One of the things that we become complacent about is love. We blithely toss around the idea of love in a manner that paints it as something of a magical storyline. It seems that far too often we’ve relegated it to the penmanship of misty-eyed novelists or the musings of our own minds, and in doing so we’ve seemed to have created some horribly diluted understanding of love. We’ve created sugary-sweet caricatures of love that we’ve woven into everything from t-shirts to holidays. We’ve penned its prose into a million cards, and we’ve inserted that self-same prose into tens of thousands of chapters that lay nestled between the covers of a thousand novels. We’ve created starry-eyed renditions of love that serve to put the cold realities of our existence at bay, and we’ve crafted innumerable romantic tales scripted to convince us that the shrunken life that we’re living is not all that there is to live. As is the case with far too many great things, we contort and editorialize them to suit our pithy notions and shallow needs. We can’t see great things as being great things unless we extort them and enslave them to some level of servitude. It seems that great things are great if they serve us. And so we take grandiose license with great things to mold and twist and shape them to make them great based on our needs or our schemas. And in doing so we gut them of everything that made them great, and we field dress them to their own death. We become complacent about great things. And it seems that we do that with love. Losing Love to Understand Love If we want to appreciate something in earnest, it seems that we must first lose it. The slumber of complacency is deep. There’s something at the basest core of our humanity that doesn’t awaken until it’s violently shaken. And often that violent ‘shaking’ is to lose the very thing that we need to be awakened to. Sadly, by the time that we’re finally ‘shaken’ awake from our dozing complacency, the thing that we needed to be awakened to is long gone. And out of the ensuing panic we desperately try to figure out how to get it back, or we determine that we can’t get it back so we either settle into denial or grieve our loss. Therefore, maybe the best way to understand love is to understand what life would be like without it. That’s probably not something that many of us think about or have thought about or would like to think about. But, what would our existence be like if this thing that we call ‘love’ simply didn’t existence? Additionally, what if any shred of any emotion that was even remotely similar to love simply did not exist. Take love out of our existence, and the chilling question would be “what’s left?” If we knew that, we might be less complacent. What’s Left Without Love Loss of Community Take away love and we have no reason to consider our fellowman nor join him in the partnership of life and living. The communal foundation forged strong by empathy, fired by sympathy, and cinched tight by respect is obliterated. The unbroken strength of that foundation as faithfully sustained by conscience and ethics would collapse and completely implode. In the collapse, we would become brutally rogue entities savagely committed to the sustenance of our own existence. Life would become wholly adversarial, helplessly falling into the smoldering ashes of anarchy. Without love our world would fall, and in the chaos of the descent it would tear itself apart to its own death. Loss of Self Take away love and our own individual existence would fall into abject irrelevance. The desire to sustain ourselves would devolve to a singularly primitive savagery that would be completely dependent upon the degree of savagery that we possess to sustain it. Hatred of self and for self born of the absence of love would cause us to viciously turn on ourselves, rendering us our own enemies. We would then become the very thing that we fear and the very object that we despise. And in such a pathetic conundrum, we would have no point of escape. The deep passion to expand ourselves, to expotentionally grow, to vigorously nurture the plethora of resources that we possess would simply not exist because we would not have the love for ourselves that would prompt us to such dynamic actions. In essence, to become loveless is to become non-existent. Loss of Life Take away love, and nothing would capture our imagination. We would find nothing compelling. We would never marvel or be held in the mesmerizing embrace of wonder. We would never be lifted to heights of ecstasy, nor would we know the depths to which one could fall. Passion, desire, dreams and hope are all borne of love and entirely sustained by it. And when they are gone because love is gone we become little more than mindless carbon-based life forms driven by a drive to exist that is no deeper than the drive to exist. Without love our humanity vanishes and with it everything that sets us apart from everything else. Rather, our lives would be lived out on a stale robotic continuum where life would have no flavor, no scent, no color, no melody and no texture. We would know nothing of vision and we would cease to be fascinated by ceaseless possibilities. We would lose the ability to visualize something greater than ourselves, and then believe that we have the ability to become that thing. Rather, we would become automatons, driven solely by the baser drive of instinct alone. Take away love and we take away meaning. Loss of Existence Finally, have we postulated that without love existence would never have existed in the first place? While we have done a bang-up job of banging up life, it is love that always puts it all back together again. And when love puts things back together, it always puts them back together better than they were before we messed them up. Love is the single thing that has called humanity up and out at times of monumental crisis. Love is the thing that pressed men forward at those pivotal moments in history when everything that was not love declared all as lost. Love is what pushed civilizations upward and onward when they teetered on the brink of oblivion. Love is what called people to moments of great sacrifice so that others might move on even if those sacrificing could not because of their sacrifice. It is on the winds of love that we have been raised up and thrust out. And so, I would be so bold as to say that if it weren’t for love, existence would have never existed in the first place. Getting Back to Love Love is far more than something that has arisen from the penmanship of misty-eyed novelists or the musings of our own minds. Love is far more than the sugary-sweet caricatures of love that we’ve woven into everything from t-shirts to holidays. It is infinitely greater than the prose that we’ve penned into a million cards, and it is unimaginably superior to the self-same prose that we’ve inserted into tens of thousands of chapters that lay nestled between the covers of a thousand novels. Imagine life without love and you will begin to touch the periphery of this incredible thing that we call ‘love.’ And in doing so, we can once again understand the wonderfully immense power of this thing called ‘love.’ © 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

Just a few days after my husband’s passing, my phone rang. For the sake of protecting the guilty, let’s say the caller represented Shady Pines Old Folks Home. Me: “A personal care home? Is that one of those places where they cook your meals, clean your room, and even help you with bathing?” Shady: “It certainly is, Mrs. Clark. We can provide a wide range of services in your time of need.” Me: “Awesome. Sign me up.” My two college-age children wondered if grief had taken their mother’s sense of reason. It had not. Neither had it taken her sense of humor. Shady: “Alright Mrs. Clark, I need some more information from you, starting with your date of birth.” Me: “May 15, 1963.” Shady: “1963? Mrs. Clark, did you mean to say 63?” Me: “Sure did. I’m nifty at 50. . . Hello? You there?” And so began the long list of encounters with folks who had little understanding of widows and our needs. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, one-third of all women who become widowed are younger than age 60, and half of those widowed become so by age 65. In fact, seven out of ten baby boomers can expect to outlive their husbands. Here are nine things you need to know about the ever-increasing member of society, the widow: 1. A widow’s deepest pains last longer than a year. Immediately after a death, the church community is adept at responding with flowers or a casserole but far less gifted in maintaining a ministry to her long-term. Her experience can feel like major surgery—a radical amputation, to be specific. She may be numb for several months. After the cards and letters stop, the visits drop off, and friends return to their normal lives, her hardest work has just begun. 2. A grieving widow who lives alone may go several days without hearing another human voice, especially months after the initial funeral. Emails and text messages are good; however, phone calls and visits may be better. While this may not seem like the most efficient use of your time, efficiency and effectiveness are sometimes mutually exclusive. 3. A grieving widow’s pain is unique and volatile. What encourages one woman may be painfully unhelpful to another. Grief is like a virus that waxes and wanes with intensity. Emotional mine fields such as these may require intimate knowledge of the bereaved. A close friend might be better suited to visit than a newly hired pastor. Don’t confuse compassion for a church acquaintance with a call to take personal action. If you don’t know the widow well, allow one of her close friends to direct your ministry efforts. 4. A grieving widow is often physically and emotionally exhausted. Don’t call her late at night or early in the morning. Be patient if she is slow in responding to your acts of kindness. Graciously accept her “no thank you” when she says she’s not up to going to dinner. She isn’t refusing help or harboring bitterness. She may simply need rest. 5. A grieving widow loves her children. Watching her children suffer is a misery that compounds grief and one in which the body of Christ is uniquely suited to offer comfort. The day of my husband’s funeral, students from my children’s college (Covenant) drove more than four hours one-way just to be with my kids. The sight of several pews packed with young adults will forever stay with us. One of my son’s professors eats breakfast with my son nearly every Friday. Loving a widow’s children is loving the widow. 6. A grieving widow often feels second (or third) to everyone else. Months after my husband, Jim, died, an ice storm crippled our city. Power outages citywide and downed trees littered homes and businesses. The damage was so widespread that I couldn’t possibly ask church friends to leave their own homes to address mine. But leave they did. A tree had fallen through the roof of one church friend’s home, yet he and his dad headed first to my place. “I’m waiting on the insurance company to call me,” he said. “I can wait here working a chainsaw as easily as pace the floor there.” 7. A grieving widow’s life is not a tragedy but a gift. When she is ready, encourage her to serve. In many cases, the death of her spouse did not hamper her gifting. Quite the contrary, it is part of how God heals her. Don’t look at her through the lens of her loss, but rather chose to see God’s faithfulness as she deepens her trust in her Savior. 8. A grieving widow’s finances may dramatically change after the loss of the primary breadwinner. More than half of elderly widows now living in poverty were not poor before the death of their husbands. She may have life insurance policies, long-term savings plans, and family to lean on, yet still find her finances overwhelming. After my husband’s death, two of his friends—one an accountant, the other a senior bank vice president—helped me work out a budget based on my lower income level. And these two did not treat me like an obligation. Every time they left my home, a piece of my burden went with them. 9. God loves a grieving widow. He does not despise her tears nor shudder when she doubts her faith in the darkness. The widow knows much of Jacob’s wrestling with God. He walked with a limp the remainder of his earthly life, but gained a changed heart. A grieving widow needs gospel-drenched compassion and not pity. While compassion walks beside the bereaved, pity stands off at a safe distance. The day my husband collapsed, my boss—a physician and head of a busy community clinic—canceled his appointments immediately and came to the hospital. He looked after my in-laws with uncanny tenderness and prayed with them. When my children came in from out of town, he wrapped his arms around them both and shed tears as I told them their dad was not expected to survive. To offer compassion in any circumstance is to share in another’s suffering, and in so doing, we mirror the suffering of Christ on our behalf. Gaye Clark works as a cardiac nurse at University Hospital in Augusta, Georgia, and writes in her free time. She has two adult children, Anna and Nathan. Re-printed from Gospel Coalition. Used by permission.

“After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” 22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke.” John 21-22 The very thought that someone from his most intimate circle of disciples could betray him gave Jesus what the Gospel calls “trouble in his spirit.” Judas Iscariot was so trusted hat no one looked his way. They looked around with bewilderment. One of the ways we know Judas was trusted by the twelve is because he was the one responsible for the disciple’s treasury. The money bag was guarded from thievery and bandits by Judas Iscariot, which may suggest that the word “Iscariot” was etymologically connected to the word sicarii. The sicarii was a Jewish ultra-zealot terrorist group operating in Judea that leveled blow after blow to the Roman occupation and their supporters. It is possible that Judas was a former sicarii. (They were largely men of principled convictions and excellent fighting skills. Judas was not entrusted with the money because he could count better than the other disciples. Had this been the case, Mathew, the former tax-collector, would have been chosen.) 23 One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, In a world where tables were on the same level as the floor, the disciples partook of their food reclining (almost prostrate) around the area where food was served. One of the disciples was this mysterious person who is called “the beloved disciple.” There have been various theories put forth as to the identity of this disciple. (None fully convincing). He was most likely the author of this otherwise anonymous Gospel. 24 so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. Notice the level of detail that the Gospel gives. It can best be explained by the author (in opposition to Luke’s account) being an eyewitness to the narrated events. He remembers the small points, like the beloved disciple motioning to Jesus to get his attention during the meal where no doubt the disciples were loudly talking. 25 So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. We can almost feel the tension. Jesus speaks of his betrayal by one of the disciples. The beloved disciple asked him quietly to show him who would betray him. Jesus answered just as quietly: “I will show you now”. (It was customary to take a piece of bread and dip it in something tasty and give it directly to another person nearby.) It was the perfect way to tell the beloved disciple something in such a way that no one would guess what Jesus was really doing. 27 Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” 28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. 29 Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. 30 So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night. As Jesus extended his hand to give the peace of bread to Judas Iscariot he told him out loud that he should hurry up. Jesus had routinely given Judas assignments, so it looked like nothing unusual had taken place. 31 When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. 32 If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once. 33 Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going you cannot come.’ It is intriguing that while we normally ascribe the term glorification to Jesus only after his resurrection, Jesus does so in advance of the events. It seems that Jesus viewed betrayal, death, resurrection and ascension as one package, so much so that at the time when the events that ultimately led to his death and resurrection began, he was already able to say: “Now is the Son of Man glorified”. 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” This was intended for of all faithful Christ-followers everywhere and at all times (and rightly so) but originally it was in reference to the 12 apostles. How you may ask? If Jesus was appointing new heads of the tribes of Israel and as such was renewing Israel’s hope; when could we expect there to be some correlation with the narratives of the 12 heads of the tribes of Israel. One of the foundational stories of the sons of Jacob was the story of Joseph’s near-killing and eventual being sold into slavery in Egypt. One can hardly speak of anything more unloving than the heads of Israel’s key family attempted murder of their brother. In our text, here, at the foundation of the renewed Israel through the twelve new heads/apostles, Jesus begins by commanding them to love one another. This is indeed how their authority as true disciples of Christ would be recognized by those who are true Israel. 36 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward.” 37 Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” 38 Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times. Peter’s commitment would soon be tested. Jesus told Peter that when the time would come, Peter would deny him. That time was rapidly approaching. One of the reasons Jesus said this was because he already knew Judas Iscariot was on his way to the Temple to betray Jesus’ location to the authorities for his immediate arrest.

Share 0 Leadership is a rare commodity. It’s almost impossible to imitate. Competitors can only imitate what you do, but they can’t imitate who you are. How do you define a successful leader? A great leader is someone who inspires others to greatness. This simple definition is all-encompassing. Leaders do not fit a single profile. Leaders are not like t-shirts: one size fits all. They are not robots. Different kinds of leaders can be effective. What competency do great leaders have? They know their main objective: the “one thing” that drives every decision, every methodology. What’s your “One Thing?” It is your passion, what makes life worth living for you. This one thing becomes your true north, your inner compass, your centerline. I call it having a clear “Life Philosophy”. Steve Jobs defined his vision: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” If we don’t have a clear life philosophy, we stop thinking, we stop asking questions and we don’t understand the “why” behind things. Having a clear life philosophy has two advantages. You need to know where you are going, or life will take you somewhere you don’t want to go. For example, living life is like navigating an old sailing ship on the high seas. If you drop the sails, have no compass or captain, you are driven by wind, currents and storms. You drift aimlessly. When you live purposefully, you follow the captain. You know your tools, and sail using a rudder, a compass, reading the stars. You can sail through storms, into the wind and overcome obstacles. People sense your authenticity and passion. They identify your purpose, inner conviction, honesty and transparency. Being a purposeful leader gives you freshness and joy. Such character is attractive and compelling. How do you develop your life philosophy? Think deeply. Know yourself and understand life’s principles. We often depend on others to think for us. We listen to media, politicians, preachers and friends to tell us what to think and how to determine right and wrong. Thinking deeply requires simplicity, silence and solitude. What can you eliminate in your life to slow down and focus? What habits clutter your thinking? How much media can you pare down? How much time do you devote to television, internet, social media, e-mails? Do you look at your iPhone 150 times per day? Silence requires us to quiet our minds, talk less and listen more. We need to listen to others, but also to our inner voice. We need to be spiritual people. Solitude is essential to thinking deeply. You spend time with the person you want to get to know. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, meditate and allow yourself to be comfortable with being alone. Peel back layers of pretense and self-delusion and learn who you truly are. By the time we are adults, we form a “protective shield.” Psychologists call it “confirmation bias.” Confirmation bias happens when we filter reality through our prejudices, ignoring evidence that challenges or refutes what we believe and eagerly accepting evidence that confirms what we believe. Confirmation bias becomes a form of “self-delusion” Author Adam Smith writes that self-delusion is the “source of half the disorders of human life,” creating multiple problems in human existence. President Lincoln struggled with the injustices in the South. He knew the Confederate leaders. How could so many reasonable, educated and godly men defend the atrocities of slavery and its injustice? Confirmation bias. They saw what they wanted to see, and disregarded the rest. Mentors, spouses, books, self-evaluation, and psychological testing all help us see the reflection of our “true selves.” Finally, we need to “feed the wolf” as leaders. We must understand the governing laws of life and learn how to utilize them to our advantage. There are laws of nature, economics, and spirituality. If we don’t clearly understand these laws, we will find ourselves fighting against them. Here is just one example: An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.” The boy thought about it and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.” What you feed is what will grow. You are either going to feed good or evil, virtue or vice. Be a focused leader. Think deeply. Know yourself. Practice virtue and integrity. Those who follow will bless you.

Laura’s Question: ?” The other day I was sharing with my husband about my day. It was a hard and long day. As I started to tear up, he launched into solutions to my problems. I’m hurt now because I have asked him to just listen before, but he does not get it. What do I do? How can I get him to understand that I usually just need a listening ear and that I will ask for solutions when I need them?”?? Dr. Leman’s Answer: This is something that men don’t get. Your husband is an absolute perfect specimen of what is a man. Men, by their nature, are fixers. Just like so many women, by their nature of comforters, givers, and huggers. ?Okay? So, we’re asking the crooked river not to bend.? You have to know what you’re up against. And so, that’s probably one of the toughest questions that I could be asked but let me be the wife here for a minute and see if I can pull this off. ?”Frank, I need to talk to you and I don’t want you to say one word for the next three minutes. I just want you to hear what I have to tell you. And Frank, this is very serious.” And there’s a pause on purpose. And then, you launch into it.? ”Yesterday afternoon, when you came home, I started to share with you about my day and about how my day turned ugly quickly. And you could see in my face and you could see the tears in my eyes–this was bothering me. As I began to reach into my heart, to bare my soul to you, you took a meat cleaver and you cut the pork loin in two. Crash. You just cut me off. And I was more than hurt by that.”? “I realize this isn’t easy for you or any of your buddies at work could do naturally because men are not great listeners. They’re fixers. You went on to point out all the things that I need to do to solve my problem. Frank, that’s the least I need from you. That is not what my heart desires. I want you to hear me out and that’s why I’ve asked not for one word out of your mouth for the next three minutes because you really have to understand how I, as a woman, operate.”?“ And I know enough that I’m representative of the female gender. We, as women, have a need to pour our feelings with a safety net underneath us. And that safety net is you. We want to be like that commercial, you’re in good hands with Allstate. We want to feel like there’s tendered gentle hands around our feelings.” ?“And when I share from my heart and that meat cleaver comes down and just shuts me off, I feel hurt. I feel neglected, I feel unwanted, I feel disrespected and it brings up feelings in me. Frank, that quite frankly, I don’t think I would feel at a liberty to tell you how bad those feelings are because it cuts through the very core of who I am.” ?“So, I know it’s difficult for you to just listen. But I need you to just listen to me. I don’t need you to fix anything. So, when I pour out my heart to you, what I need from you is open arms, a smiling face, a warm caress. You know what that means to me? It means you get it. You understand what I’m up against.”? And then, I just might say to you, “Frank, I’m stuck. I need your help. And you come on with your suggestions because you have a logical, linear, A comes before B which comes before C mind. And I’ll admit I need that from time to time in my life. You’re my rock, you’re the man I love. You’re the one I’ve had children with. The only man I’ve ever been intimate with in my entire life. So when I share these feelings with you, I’m almost to that point, just open your hands like Allstate and then mimic and you just squash those feelings by rubbing your hands together that makes me feel like I’m less than a human being.”? “Now, I’m so glad you didn’t say a word. I appreciate you hearing me up. “Now, I’m going to do something that you’re going to love. I’m going to say to you, ‘Frank, tell me how you feel about what I just said.’ “?Now, if he tells you some things at that point, okay? And again, your job is to listen. What he’s done, if he’s missing points, now it’s your turn to come back and say, “Okay, fine. I need to ask you just one more time. I just need one minute of silence on your part because I want to clarify something that I said that I think you misinterpreted.”? Okay? And then you go ahead and clarify it, okay? And then again, at the end of that you say to him, “Alright, now you’ve heard what I said now. Now you have an opportunity to tell me what you think you heard just so there’s no escaping the fact that we, as husband and wife, need to be on the same page. That’s one of the very practical ways I think a husband and wife can stay on the page. But realize you only stand a chance if you’re willing to shut your mouth and really listen to the other person.”

People have a desire to be know by others. All of us have an appetite to be known, but the thing about an appetite is it can never fully and finally be satisfied. The more we feed it, the more we crave it. There is no amount of fame or success for your appetite to be satisfied. At what point do you say, “I am known enough.” This desire starts when we are young because we all wanted to be famous with our fathers. We see in our children that there is something in them that wants to be known for something and known by somebody. In ministry, we can get caught up on numbers ad what others think. We feel bad when attendance decreases. We might think self-conscious thoughts while we preach on stage. There is no amount of applause, there is no amount of being known that will fully satisfy you. Instead your appetite grows. 3 Laws of Applause What is exceptional the first time will be expected the next time. Exceptional becomes “expectional”. A lot of leaders become so enamored with being known. Applause is intoxicating, and intoxicated people don’t make very good decisions. Those most applauded for, feel most entitled to. Applause is addictive. If you get it once, you want it again. You may even be tempted to manufacture it. Amen? So how do we make sure that we don’t fall victim to the laws of applause? Let’s learn from John the Baptist. Mark 1:4-9 John appeared, baptizing in the wilderness and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And all the country of Judea and all Jerusalem were going out to him and were being baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins. Now John was clothed with camel’s hair and wore a leather belt around his waist and ate locusts and wild honey. And he preached, saying, “After me comes he who is mightier than I, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I have baptized you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.” In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. John 3:25-30 Now a discussion arose between some of John’s disciples and a Jew over purification. And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him.” John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven.  You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘ I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him. ’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease. ” The whole country of Judea and all of Jerusalem came to see John the Baptist. Apparently, thousands and thousands of people showed up in that dry, dusty environment just to hear him. This is not an easy place to get to, but he attracted thousands. He is a phenomenon. He is known. But with all of this attention on him, he chooses to turn the attention from himself to Jesus. When John did this, he lost two disciples to Jesus. When people confronted John the Baptist about him losing his fame, John replied, “A person can only receive what is given to him.” John the Baptist knew when his time was up and was not going to try to manufacture what he had before. Surviving fame is remembering who it is from and who it is for. Your appetite for fame will never be satisfied by a number but a name – a who not a how. John the Baptist got it right.” catalystconference.com/atlanta

Me. Myself. And I. The three people we tend to care about the most in western civilization. Since the fall of Adam and Eve, the sickness of self-absorption has infected all of humanity, but it has particularly affected segments of the population that have adopted cultural values that revolve around the preservation of personal happiness. We are narcissists. In their book, The Narcissism Epidemic, psychologists Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell explore the rise of narcissism in American culture… Understanding the narcissism epidemic is important because its long-term consequences are destructive to society. American culture’s focus on self-admiration has caused a flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy. We have phony rich people (with interest-only mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (with plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures), phony athletes (with performance-enhancing drugs), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation), a phony national economy (with $18 trillion of government debt), phony feelings of being special among children (with parenting and education focused on self-esteem), and phony friends (with the social networking explosion). All this fantasy might feel good, but, unfortunately, reality always wins. The mortgage meltdown and the resulting financial crisis are just one demonstration of how inflated desires eventually crash to earth. So how do you know when you’re a carrier of this deadly disease? Well, first of all, you are. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.– I saiah 53:7 NLT Obviously, some of us are affected by the narcissism more than others. There are plenty of people in our society who commit selfless acts of kindness on a daily basis and even heroic self-sacrificing deeds on occasion. We support causes, give to charity, and try to protect the people we love. But on the whole, we’re still highly concerned with protecting and providing for ourselves above anyone else. Thankfully, narcissism is a disease with a cure. But few people will discover the antidote and among those who hear about its healing power will be willing to swallow it entirely, having counted the cost of doing so. The cure for our narcissism epidemic is found in the cross. Jesus put it this way: Jesus told his disciples, “The nation’s leaders, the chief priests, and the teachers of the Law of Moses will make the Son of Man suffer terribly. They will reject him and kill him, but three days later he will rise to life.” Then Jesus said to all the people: If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross each day and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will save it. What will you gain, if you own the whole world but destroy yourself or waste your life? Luke 9:22-25 CEV Practice self-forgetfulness. Take up your cross. Daily. Follow Jesus. That’s it. Stop focusing on your own wants and desires above all others and instead, embrace your cross on a daily basis and follow the example of Jesus in every possible way. And what does it mean to take up your cross? Well, it’s not about trying harder, doing better, or improving self. That’s all junk that came from our narcissism to begin with. Taking up our cross is a choice we must consciously make, but the cross we bear isn’t ours to choose. Just as Jesus submitted himself to every single detail of the painful plan of God for his life down to the last drop of blood he spilled on the cross, so we must choose to recognize that God himself is the very center of our universe and His will supersedes ours in every way. Whether life or death, happiness or suffering, taking up our cross involves us saying, as Jesus did in the garden on the eve of his death, “whatever you will, God.” Think of it this way. You don’t fly to Chicago. You can try, but your arms will get rather tired. What you can do is decide to get on the plane and allow yourself to go where the pilot takes you. Furthermore, the choice to take up our cross and follow Jesus is both a one-time decision as well as a daily series of decisions. I’m still learning to follow Him. I’m still fighting the remaining effects of the disease of narcissism. Thankfully, when I fail, I get to fall on the inexhaustible grace of God, look back to Jesus, and start following him again. The antidote is within reach. It’s free for the taking. Salvation is a gift from the Father of the One who died to make our redemption possible. Re-printed from www.brandoncox.com. Visit www.gracehillschurch.com.

Guest Author: Dr. Faydra Shapiro Introductions are funny things – sometimes it’s what is unsaid, what is assumed, that can tell you the most. Several years ago I gave a talk at a church in North America about Israel and Jewish-Christian relations. The listeners were very encouraging and as the talk drew to a close I felt I had really done a superb job of teaching and inspiring the audience. Until the moment when one elderly gentleman stood up to ask me a question. He said: “Thank you very much, Dr. Shapiro. That was a great talk. But one thing you didn’t really speak about was the role of your faith in Jesus Christ”. “Oh, dear”, I thought, my heart sinking. Clearly I had done a brilliant job, but I had missed an essential point. Since that day I take the time to state it plainly and for the record: I am a Jew. Admittedly a Jew with an out-of-the-ordinary interest in Christianity and the New Testament, but still, simply, an “Orthodox” Jew. That doesn’t necessarily matter much, but it’s always useful to know where a person is coming from. Today I want to discuss an issue that comes up often in my conversations with Christian – almost always evangelical – friends and students. This is the matter of “having a relationship with God”, and the belief that this is one of the benefits of the Jesus path. While I do recognize that the whole rhetoric of “relationship not religion” is a product of 1970s popular American evangelicalism, it is an attiude that has important implications even if it might not be mobilized by many Christians. Now again, let’s pay attention to the unsaid. Having a relationship with God as opposed to what? The other (clearly undesirable) option is “religion”. So with Jesus one can ostensibly have something true and immediate – a personal relationship with God, whereas Jews only have “religion”. Let’s unpack this a little. “Relationship” is understood to refer to something intimate, experiential, mystical, personal, friendly, deep, spiritual. “Religion” is ascribed the associations of being rule-oriented, man-made, legalistic, formal, distanced and superficial. Given these resonances, clearly having a relationship is something desirable whereas religion is something to progress past. And it is not uncommon for Christian readings of the gospels to assume precisely this – that what Jesus offered people was a personal (intimate, deep) relationship with God specifically in distinction to the Jews who only offered (formal, sterile) religion. You can imagine the impact that this kind of slogan has for Christian understandings of Judaism. It’s also interesting how this emphasis resonates with the current wave of people who insist that they are “spiritual, not religious.” The fact is that Judaism takes the idea of the individual’s relationship with God very seriously. It is obvious to Jews that both fear of God and love of God are important, and that emphasizing one over the over leads to an unhealthy imbalance. But the Jewish love of God and personal relationship with Him ends up looking quite different than that of contemporary evangelical Christianity for several reasons. First, most Jews find popular evangelical lyrics and expressions like “My Saviour, my closest friend” and “Jesus take the wheel” to be far too casually intimate with the Holy One Blessed be He, to be comfortable. The concern is that this approach casts the sovereign, powerful, Master of the Universe into a being dangerously much like ourselves. Second, Jews believe that doing His will is the highest expression of love, gratitude and clinging to God. In short, good relationships are expressed in action. Because performing mitzvoth (commandments) often looks so foreign to outsiders, it is very difficult for Christians to recognize things like keeping the dietary laws or Sabbath observance for what it is supposed to be – a declaration of love for God. I believe that the ideal for both Judaism and Christianity is a balance and an integration of heart and hands, relationship and religion, informal and formal, spontaneous and fixed. Our challenge is to look for the unseen behind the slogan, and behind our assumptions – to learn to see the “spiritual” in Judaism and the role of “practice” or “holy living” in Christianity. Soon Jews around the world will be marking the holiest day of the year – yom kippur (the Day of Atonement). It is a powerful day, dedicated to intensive prayer and fasting, with some of the most profound and moving liturgy of the Jewish tradition. Several times on that awesome day we will describe our relationship to God with these words: For we are your people, and you are our God. We are your children, and you are our Father. We are your servants, and you are our Lord. We are your community, and you are our Portion. We are your heritage, and you are our Lot. We are your flock, and you are our Shepherd. We are your vineyard, and you are our Keeper. We are your work, and you are our Maker. We are your companions, and you are our Beloved. We are your treasure, and you are our Friend. We are your people, and you are our King. We are your betrothed, and you are our Betrothed. From www.eteacherbiblical.com

Why do kids lie? They start early. It’s hard to trust again after a child has started habitually lying. How can you be sure he won’t lie again? How do you break him of the habit? Because once he starts, it’ll only get worse. If you’ve got a child who’s started lying, here are some things you may want to know. Kids lie for two basic reasons. One is for wish fulfillment . Some kids will come home and tell you they scored three goals in soccer…and then you find out they didn’t play at all. The second is out of fear . “Did you break that vase?” you demand. “No, I didn’t do it! Little Joey did it!” your seven-year-old claims. Most children lie out of fear. in order for there to be a relationship between two human beings, it must be based on trust otherwise the lying will become a mountain and get between them. So if your child lies to you, he needs to be caught in that lie and told that lying is not acceptable. There also needs to be a second consequence for lying. Let’s say that, a couple days later, your child says something like, “Can I go next door and play with Ronnie?” Your answer needs to be a matter-of-fact “No.” “Buy why?” your child asks. “You always let me go.” Now’s the teachable moment. “Honey, I don’t have any assurance that you’re going to be where you said you’ll be. Remember Wednesday night, when you told me you were going to be at Susan’s—and you weren’t?” Do you beat the kid over the head with the lie? No. Don’t drag it out long term. But saying something like that two or three times makes a memorable impression on a child that lying isn’t what you do. It doesn’t gain you anything, and it breaks down trust between the two of you. Children need to see and feel that immediate result. Remember the age old admonition: “You won’t get in trouble if you tell me the truth.” That needs to be true of your family. If your child tells the truth she can know that you’re unhappy, but she should not be punished for telling the truth. In those situations, you’ll need to think carefully before you open your mouth. How you respond to such a situation directly relates to how comfortable your child is in telling you the truth. Kids can be as dumb as mud and will do stupid things, but if they own up to them and say they’re sorry, they need to know that life will go on and you won’t beat them over the head for years for their mistake. Lastly, parents too have to be careful about their own lies; even those pesky little white lies are still lies. If you say to your child, “If someone from work calls, I’m not here,” and it’s not the truth, your child is smart enough to know it. And then your kid thinks, If it’s okay for you to lie, it’s okay for me to lie. Don’t forget, if you value honesty, you must also model it for your children. And that goes for any bit of character you’d like to see develop in your child For more on raising kids, Have a New Kid by Friday is a valuable resource! Purchase Have a New Kid by Friday HERE . – See more at: www.birthorderguy.com/parenting/liar-liar-pants-on-fire/