Dear Roger, My wife and I were discussing Jesus and his earthly father. Joseph did a tremendous job of parenting Jesus during his most formative years. What do you think? Sincerely, Bud Dear Bud, I agree! We can learn a great deal about parenting from the relationship between Jesus and Joseph. I’ve selected several important things that a father (or mother) can do that will help children become emotionally and spiritually healthy adults. 1. Learn the Wonder of “With.” In Mark 3:14, tells us that “Jesus appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be WITH him and that he might send them out to preach.” Notice that Jesus did not send His disciples out to preach until the final few months of His ministry. They spent 2½ years just being WITH Him, getting to know His heart, observing His ways, absorbing His teaching, developing a close relationship. Unfortunately, in our culture, we have lost the wonder of with . We are constantly wanting to go out and do! And anything less than frantic busyness is simply not normal. Imagine what people asked the disciples during the first 2½ years. “What work is Jesus having you do?” “Well, none.” “Yeah, but what do you do ?” “Nothing. We just we just hang around with him.” The only one who held a job during those 2½ years was who? Judas. I would imagine that Judas never embraced the wonder of WITH . Studies show that the average dad spends 14 minutes per day with their child. Christians do much better. We spend 17 minutes. We are raising a nation of children whose concept of a father is “someone who doesn’t know me but enters occasionally into my life to discipline me.” The Bible says, “Provoke not children to wrath” (Ephesians 6:4). One of the quickest ways to provoke a child to wrath is to discipline a child that we don’t even know. Let me describe the tragedy that often happens in families. The Bible says that children are gifts from the Lord. God gives us children like beautiful packages with a bow on top. Too often, God comes back six months or six years or ten years later, and those packages are still sitting there unwrapped. In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul wrote: “Don’t receive the gifts of God in vain.” 2. Develop a Godly Home Life. How often do you stop to consider that Jesus grew up in an adopted family? Joseph was not his biological father. The Bible teaches that Jesus grew up with four brothers and at least two sisters. Can you imagine what it must have been like to sit around the dinner table with Jesus while all the brothers and sisters were yelling and screaming? How did Jesus fit in with the others? In Luke 2:52, we read that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with both God and man.” At the age of twelve, he was already involved in deep discussions with the religious leaders of Israel! It’s clear that Jesus came out of that blended family well-adjusted. Mary and Joseph did a great job. Note that the last mention of Joseph in the Bible was when Jesus was twelve years old in the temple. Jesus began His ministry when He turned water into wine at Cana when He was about thirty years old. Joseph died sometime during the eighteen silent years of Jesus’ life from twelve to thirty. Birth to twelve is the time to pour spiritual values into a child. By age twelve, our personality is basically set—only slight modifications are made later on. Joseph had a direct, integral impact on the most critical growing-up years of Jesus. You are blessed if you had father like Joseph—caring and involved in your life. If you didn’t, I am so sorry. You might pray for Jesus to act as your earthly father. Perhaps you didn’t get much appreciation, encouragement, acceptance, affection, or support from your dad. Don’t be too harsh on your dad. It’s likely that he didn’t receive those things either. It’s hard to pass on something that you have never experienced. My father often said to my brother and me, “Find a hole and fill it.” Children have lots of “holes.” When you see one, fill it up. Go on; meet that need. They will be forever changed by your attention, approval, encouragement, and respect. God intended for children to grow up in a well-adjusted, secure, stable and loving home environment where they are secure in the knowledge that mom and dad fellow the biblical instructions for how to live as a Christian. 3. Help Your Child Discover God’s Calling. Children come with sealed orders from God. One of the basic responsibilities of parenting is to help open the envelope from God and help our children understand their calling in life. Jesus did not come out like superman, a little baby lifting refrigerators. He did not say from the manger, “2+2=4.” His first miracle occurred at Cana when He was 30 years old. When did Jesus figure out that He was here to die on the cross? At birth? At age three? I doubt it.  At twelve? Perhaps. His calling came into focus over a period of time. Mary and Joseph taught Jesus Isaiah 53; “You are the Lamb who will bear the sin of the world.” They told Him, Psalm 22 is about You. It prophesied the last words that Jesus would ever speak. Jesus went back to His childhood to find those last words: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” God has a plan for all of us. Good parenting is helping your children find it. I’ve heard some parents say, “I don’t want to teach my child about religion. I'll just wait until they are old enough, and they can make their own decisions.” If we wait until they are “old enough,” we will have already taught them. We will have taught them by our silence that spiritual things are not important. Our culture has secularized the school setting and society as a whole. Mom and Dad have to teach Christian values, or they won’t be taught. By the age of 12, Jesus was well on His way to learning His father’s trade. He was a “teknon” (Mark 6:3); a master craftsman. He could build a boat or table or chairs. This tells us that Joseph invested a lot of time with Jesus. He poured his life and soul into His child. Will you? 4. Teach the Art of Submission. Submission means instant obedience. One afternoon, we were walking our dog, Becky, as a car swerved into our pathway. Becky reacted by preparing to cross the street to reach us on the other side. Danger! I yelled “Becky, stop!” She immediately stopped. No counting to three. No decision making. No questioning glance. There was no difficulty in her mind knowing what to do. When I say “stop,” she stops. Parents need to teach obedience so as their children grow older, they understand how and why to be instantaneously obedient to God. It’s also critical to teach children how to respond in a consistent way. When certain things occur in their lives, they know exactly how to respond. Both of these require parents to build into their children a heart of submission, and not rebellion. Christ learned submission early, so when He was in the garden, He said, “Not my will but thine be done.” Why did He choose to submit? He was well-trained. Hebrews 5:8 says, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” Let’s call this “discipline.” If Jesus needed suffering (discipline) to learn obedience, what must our need be? 5. Bless Your Children. Remember Jesus’ Baptism at the age of thirty? This was the first public day of Christ’s ministry. It was His first day on the job. A voice shouted from heaven: “This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Luke 3:21, 23). Think about it. Jesus’ Father blessed a Son who hadn’t done anything yet! We miss the point if we think God said that for the crowd. Instead, this was a loving Father affirming His Son. That affirmation empowered Jesus’ ministry. Parents, try that. Stop your child as he or she is crossing the room, look them in the eye and say, “I love you, I’m so proud of you. I’m so glad you are my son/daughter.” Leave them standing there in awe! “What did I do?” Nothing! That’s what grace looks like; that is what affirmation sounds like. That’s a picture of God’s unconditional love. I’ve noticed over the years that most children grow up having never received a blessing from their parents. If that’s you, I am so sorry. The good news is, while you may never have received acceptance from your parents, if you receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you will receive acceptance from your Heavenly Father. Two pictures describe how we get into God’s family. First, through birth: “You must be born again” (John 3:3). Second, through adoption: “In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the pleasure of his will” (Ephesians 1:5-6). Every believer is accepted by the Father on the basis of the work of Christ on the cross: “Being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1). Imagine in your mind that God is putting His arms around you. He says, “I love you. I accept you for who you are. There is nothing more you have to do.” Well, Bud, I hope you find this helpful. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, My wife and I are helping some dear friends through problems in their  marriage . But after finding out about some of the issues they’re facing, I’m not sure their marriage can be repaired. Please help me understand what the  Bible  says about divorce. Thank you, Charlie Dear Charlie, In order to lend some credibility to my comments, you may need to know that I've counseled married, remarried, cohabitating, and divorced couples and individuals for over fifty years. Of the hundreds of emails and letters that I receive to Ask Roger, more than half of them deal with marriage issues. I’ve found that the most common issues people share about marriage, adultery, and cohabitation are much the same. However, God’s Word treats each of these choices very differently. So do I, especially as my understanding of relationships and Scripture have developed over the years. When I first began pastoring (at age 20), the biblical rules for divorce and remarriage seemed very black and white. People Are More Important Than Rules First, adultery was always grounds for divorce. Jesus said in  Matthew 19:9 , “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Second, the Bible teaches that a Christian who is married to an unbeliever and wants out of a marriage may do so, as long as the unbeliever also wants out. However, if the unbeliever wants to remain in the marriage, then the married Christian must remain married (see  1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ). In those days, it was easy for me to apply the rules. People either obeyed them, or they didn’t. If they didn't follow the rules, they were basically unwelcome in our church fellowship. I look back with sadness. A lot of people in broken marriages turned to the church for help and comfort, and all we had to offer were two rules. The more contact I’ve had with those who are divorced or divorcing because they needed to get out of miserable, dangerous, abusive, and broken marriages, the more my heart aches. Too many situations simply don’t fit those black-and-white rules. One holiday, I was sitting in the audience of a well-known pastor whose daughter was being mercilessly abused by his son-in-law. He was emotionally trying to deal with his daughter’s situation, but the only advice he had for his daughter was to stay married. I watched and listened to him struggle publicly. He was close to tears when he said, “There’s got to be a better way to handle this.” There is! There are times when people are more important than rules. Let me give you an example of a letter that I recently received from a woman with two daughters. She is tragically trapped in a marriage sham but feels obligated to stay married because she believes that God will punish her if she gets a divorce: Dear Roger, I’m 23 years old, and I got married when I was 19. I have two kids. Right now, my husband is passed out drunk. He came home from a bar and picked a fight. When I told him that I just wanted to sleep and talk in the morning, he punched me and grabbed my hair. I really don’t know what to do. Doesn’t the Bible say divorce is wrong? Will God punish me if I leave my husband? I don’t want my daughters to grow up in a broken home, but I don’t want them to be in danger from my husband. Please pray for us. Today is Sunday, and I want to go to church, but my eyes are swollen from crying all night. God provides for situations like this one. I’d like to share some guidelines with you that I hope will be helpful as you navigate the rough waters of divorce. 11 Guidelines for Navigating Divorce 1. Adultery is always grounds for divorce ( Matthew 5:31-32 ). 2. A Christian may divorce a non-Christian if the non-Christian wants to divorce ( 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ). 3. Physical abuse, and in many cases, emotional and verbal abuse may mean that it is time to consider leaving the marriage. Malachi 2:16  says, “God hates divorce; but, He also hates a man covering himself with violence.” The term used here comes from a Hebrew word that can also mean, “covering his wife with violence.” I advise any woman who has been hit by her husband to consider getting as far away from him as soon as possible and to never look back. Belittling, badgering, manipulation, and other forms of verbal and emotional abuse fit under the “violence” umbrella. Notice that this principle holds true if the roles are reversed and the wife is the one instigating the violence. By the way, can you imagine that the quickest way to ruin your marriage is to hit the one that you promised to love, honor, and respect? 4. The husband who consistently refuses to live up to his responsibility to love his wife as Jesus loved the church may, in some cases, have violated his marriage vows and made the marriage contract null and void ( Ephesians 5:25-33 ). According to his marriage vows, the husband is to love his wife and care for her needs even before he cares for his own. He is responsible for his wife’s spiritual development so that one day she may be pure and holy as she comes into the presence of Christ. 5. The wife who undermines and/or disrespects her loving husband may, in some cases, have violated her marriage vows and made the marriage contract null and void ( Ephesians 5:22-24 ). As we read the  Ephesians 5  passage, notice that while the husband is commanded to love his wife, his wife is never asked to love him. She is to obey and respect him, but she’s never told to love him. Many have trouble with a wife being told to obey and respect her husband. It doesn't seem right or fair. Let me tell you what I see going on here. Women whose husbands are fulfilling their roles of loving and sacrificing their lives for them don’t have to be told to love their husbands. Loving a man like that comes naturally. It is easy to love and respect someone who has her best interests at heart. 6. The husband who refuses to get a job in order to meet the needs of his family is worse than an unbelieving non-Christian ( 1 Timothy 5:8 ). He has forfeited his role as a husband and violated his marriage vows. Of course, there are times when few or no jobs are available. This is different from the husband who refuses to work. In this case, the wedding vows are not broken by the failure to make a living. 7. God never intended for people who are divorced without biblical grounds to remain single forever ( Genesis 2:18  and  Matthew 5:32 ; 19:8-9). Jesus said that it is wrong to marry someone who does not have the proper grounds for divorce. In the same way, it is not right for a person who is divorced without biblical grounds to remarry. However, the overriding principle here comes from before the Fall when God says to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” ( Genesis 2:18 ). It is my opinion that after an appropriate amount of time, and after seasons of brokenness, humility, confession, and repentance, God still intends for marriage to be the first defense against loneliness. 8. If you have proper grounds for a divorce, then you have proper grounds to remarry ( 1 Corinthians 7:15 , 39). 9. If your previous partner has remarried, reconciliation is impossible. There is freedom to remarry. 10. In certain cases, it is God's will to remain unmarried ( 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ). 11. When a marriage is irrevocably marred and broken, it may well be time for both parties to consider picking up the pieces and starting over again ( John 8:1-12 ). Remember how Jesus gave a second chance to the woman caught in adultery ( John 8:1-12 )? He helped her to pick up the pieces of her broken life and start over again. Charlie, a failed marriage is an awful thing. The ripples of pain flow outward in ever-widening circles just as a stone tossed into the middle of a quiet pond sends ripples out in all directions. So, I believe God calls us to prioritize having a successful marriage. You want to be in your rocking chair, rocking on the front porch someday in retirement with your very best friend—the love of your life. Again, my heart aches for your friends and for their grief. Remember that there is a God in heaven who specializes in bringing hope to the hopeless and healing to the hurting. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Reader, I receive many emails asking questions about how to live a victorious Christian life. While many experiences, choices, and actions come together for our maturity, others can be a great hindrance.Years ago, I heard a teaching by Ian Thomas of “Torchbearers International” in which he identified one of the greatest hindrances to a successful Christian life. He declared that “We must eradicate anything that means more to us than Jesus does.”That single statement shaped my spiritual life from that moment forward. Let’s work through what it means via Scripture and in our lives. I promise that if you take it as a challenge—to remove anything from your life that means more than Jesus does—your relationship with Him will be transformed! Love, Roger DON’T MISS THE “FULL GOSPEL” If all Jesus Christ did when He died on the cross was to forgive our sins, then He made us fit for heaven while leaving us unfit for earth. The forgiveness of sins is just part of the Good News of the gospel. It is NOT the fact that our sins are forgiven that enables us to live a new life! It’s the reality that the One who died for our sins rose from the dead! He conquered sin so that we can conquer it in our daily lives. And He left the Holy Spirit to inhabit our bodies until we reach heaven, so that He in us might be all we need to live in freedom from sin, with the ability to have a relationship with our sinless God. Unfortunately, we often “hold in our hands” things that we love more than we love Jesus. They can lead us into sin or keep us from fully, freely living the Christian life. Jesus looks at those things and says, “Drop them. I want them totally eradicated out of your life.” His death and resurrection make that possible! We are able—if we choose—to focus only on Jesus and live in His love.   GOD’S PLENTY VERSUS MAN’S POVERTY Here’s what happens when we hold onto earthly things rather than letting go of them and reaching out for God’s best. God had just brought his people out of slavery in Egypt, through the waters of the Red Sea and the wastelands of Mount Sinai. His role in their freedom could not be denied! They had seen the very hand of God, and they were poised on the threshold of the Promised Land (see Exodus 13-14). It was time to march ahead and claim the spoils of victory. But they got stuck! They had enough faith to get out of Egypt, but not enough faith to get into the Promised Land. They were stuck in man’s poverty instead of enjoying God’s plenty. For many people that is the Christian life. We have enough faith to cross the Red Sea, but not enough faith to enter the Promised Land. We are stuck in our own poverty instead of enjoying God’s plenty. We choose to hold onto what we know rather than following God into His best for us. GOD GIVES THE VICTORY The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the Rod of God in my hands.” Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. (Exodus 17:8-11) When Moses’ arm was lifted up, holding the Rod of God, Israel prevailed. When Moses’ arm lowered, the Amalekites prevailed. Joshua’s will, power, desire, or sacrifice didn’t provide the victory. Neither did the Israelites battle prowess or effort. Victory and defeat lay not in Joshua or in Israel. The victory was in the staff of God.   WHY DID GOD CHOOSE TO USE MOSES? Moses became great in Egypt. At the age of 40, he had earned the highest academic achievements that Egypt could provide. He was a renowned soldier and the adopted son of Pharaoh. The world was laid at his feet. But then, God called Him lead the people of Israel out of bondage in Egypt. Moses set out on his own to become a missionary, and when he murdered two Egyptian soldiers, he became a murderer instead. He fled to the wilderness, and for next forty years he was useless to God and man. He had yet to learn that the victory belongs to God and not to himself. We’re next introduced to Moses 40 years later. He is now eighty. I’m reminded of the old saying, “It took man 40 years to make Moses a somebody. It took God 40 years to make Moses into a nobody.” That is what it sometimes takes if we are to know the total power of Christ’s indwelling. Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So, Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.” When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” (Exodus 3:1-5) The bush burned and burned and burned and burned. I imagine Moses might have thought, “Now that is a very peculiar bush. I have never seen a bush like that before. I suppose that in many ways I was a bush like that forty years ago. I burned brightly for God; but, within 24 hours I burned myself out. For forty years, I’ve been nothing out here in the desert but a heap of ashes. If only I could be a bush like that that burns and burns and burns.” Then, God continued speaking to Moses: “You see, Moses, if this bush had sought to sustain its flame on its own as you did forty years ago, it would have burned itself out and become a pile of ashes long ago. This isn’t a remarkable bush, Moses. This is a bush in-dwelt by a remarkable God.” Then God could have said, “Do you see that scrappy old goat-eaten bush over there? That one would have done. Do you see this beautiful one here with all of the green foliage? That one would have done.” “ Any old bush will do as long as I am in the bush .” When Moses responded to God, recognizing Him in the bush, he was ready to be used for God’s purpose and victory.   WHY THE ROD OF GOD? WHAT DID IT SIGNIFY? Next, Moses asked for details—how will I get Pharaoh to agree to let your people go? How will I get the people to believe me? What if they say, “The Lord did not appear to you?” (Exodus 4:1). Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “My staff,” The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground, and it became a snake, and he ran from it. Then the Lord said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand.” (Exodus 4:2-4) Imagine with me what might’ve happened. God: “What is that in your hand?” Moses: “It’s my shepherd’s staff. It’s just a piece of wood, a stick. I use it to tend sheep.” God: “Drop it!” Moses: “Why? It’s only a piece of wood. It’s a great comfort to me in the wilderness. It’s never hurt anyone. I need it every day.” God: “I said, drop it.” Moses obeyed God and dropped it, and it became a snake. As he jumped away, Moses looked back over his shoulder and cried, “God, it’s a snake!” God said, “Yes, I know. That’s why I told you to drop it. You didn’t know that it had a snake in it.” Allegorically, the snake represents evil … remember the Garden of Eden? It also represents all that we all hold onto that means more to us than Jesus does. Imagine the look on Moses’ face: “Did you say, ‘tail’? Grab it by the TAIL?” God: “That’s right – the ‘tail’.” Moses: “But God, what about the business end?” God said, “You take care of the tail, and I’ll take care of the head.” Imagine that a snake slithers into in your cabin between you and the door. It raises its ugly head and slithers toward you in business-like fashion. If you had to deal with it, where would you grab it? Certainly not the tail. You want to grab it right behind the head where it cannot swing around and bite you. God said, “Moses, pick it up by the tail.” Moses obeyed and caught the snake by the tail. It was harmless because God had taken the snake out. It was no longer the staff of Moses. It was the Rod of God that Moses would carry as the leader of Israel. God said to Moses, “Take the Rod of God and set my people free.” With the Rod of God, the sky was filled with hail, ditches overflowed with frogs, rivers turned to blood, fields filled with locusts and every firstborn Egyptian child breathed no more. With the Rod of God, the Red Sea opened. With the Rod of God, Amalek was defeated.   WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING IN YOUR HAND? Now is a good time to ask a question: “What do you have in your hand?” Perhaps it’s financial stability, a career, or a hoped-for promotion. Maybe it’s a relationship you count on or one you’re pursuing. Maybe it’s a material possession … maybe it’s an emotional crutch. Whatever you are holding may be the one thing that’s keeping you from experiencing a victorious Christian life. That’s the snake—the evil—in it. God says, “Drop it. Give it up. When I’ve dealt with it and know that I mean more to you than it does, then I’ll give it back to you with the snake taken out.” Perhaps you’re frightened that if you drop it, God may not give it back. That simply means that what you’re holding on to has already become the object of your idolatry. It has taken God’s place in your life. Are you ready to let it go? I think sometimes the hardest part is identifying why you’re holding so tightly. I’ll encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal the truth to you. Ask Him to set you free from the bondage of whatever you’re holding. You are not in this alone. He will give you the victory! That’s who He is … and He will bless and honor your decision to let go and grow. I’ll leave you with this illustration from Charles Trumbull, one of my favorite biblical expositors. He attended a circus in London in 1934. The acts were stupendous! The show was spectacular. The lights dimmed in preparation for the final act. All eyes focused on a snake trainer now standing on center stage. As the drums begin to roll, there was a rustle behind him. An ugly boa constrictor slid out of the grass toward him. He allowed it to wind around is legs, knees, thighs, chest, head, until at last with one thundering roar of applause he was completely lost to sight—encircled by snake. Amidst all the clapping came a blood-curdling scream. There was an instantaneous silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. The audience heard the cracking and snapping of his bones as his body was crushed to a pulp. The trainer had that snake for eighteen years. He secured it when it was only nine inches long. At any time, he could have thrown it away. He could have killed it between his thumb and forefinger. But he played with it, tamed it, and it killed him. What do you have in your hand? Love, Roger

Why Are the Egyptian Plagues and the Tribulation Plagues so Similar? The ten plagues of Exodus and the Tribulation are eerily alike. Consider the parallels between the two. Why would God send such terrible judgments upon the earth? We can learn three things about God’s nature from these accounts: God uses suffering and judgment to bring men back to Himself. A father punishing his child may say, “Son, this hurts me more than it does you.” Executing judgment on mankind grieves God’s heart. God is holy, righteous, and just. Wickedness cannot go unpunished. We can’t view God as a doddering old grandpa who chuckles at the antics of his grandson. God spoke the world into being with a word. He can speak a word and decimate it into oblivion. He is more powerful than we can ever imagine. God is not capricious. He doesn’t fly off the handle like an abusive father. He is patient. He warned godless men specifically and often. Moses warned Pharoah about every plague. John the apostle gave us an ongoing description of God’s end time plan. God’s people have been able to read John’s tribulation warnings for over 2000 years. As a loving Father he warns us to be prepared for what’s to come. Let’s compare these descriptions from Exodus and Revelation! Plague #1-Blood. The Egyptian plagues were targeted at the entire pantheon of Egyptian gods. For example, the bloody Nile demonstrated God’s power against Khnum, Guardian of Nile” and Osiris - guardian of the underworld (the Nile was his blood stream). “So, Moses lifted the staff and struck the water that was in the Nile, in the sight of Pharaoh and in the sight of his servants, and all the water that was in the Nile was turned to  blood . ( Exodus 7:20 )” KJV Revelation 8:8 – In the Second Trumpet judgment, one third of the sea became blood and in Revelation 11:6 – The two Witnesses bring blood to the waters. Revelation 16:3-6 states that the second and third angel turned all waters to blood in the bowl judgments. Why? “Holy One, You judged these things; for they poured out the  blood of saints and prophets, and You have given them  blood to drink. They deserve it. ( Revelation 16:3-6 )” Just as blood and water brought judgment and death, the blood of Jesus brings cleansing and life. Plague #2: Frogs Frogs cover the land of Egypt everywhere-inside and out. Heqt was the Fertility god with the head of a frog and body of a woman. The Egyptians thought frogs were sacred and should not be killed or eaten. “So Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt, and the  frogs  came up and covered the land of Egypt.” ( Exodus 8:6 ) NIV Revelation 16:13 speaks of the release of frog-like demons. (frogs are often associated with demons or demonic activity). 13  And I saw, coming out of the mouth of the dragon and out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet, three unclean spirits like  frogs . 16  The frog-demons gathered the kings together at the place called in Hebrew  Armageddon .” ESV ‘After the thousand-year reign of Christ: these “frogs” meet their judgment. Plague #3: Lice Some believe that the third plague, lice, could not be found in Revelation. The plague of gnats, was a judgment on Set, the god of the desert. Unlike the previous plagues, the magicians were unable to duplicate this one and declared to Pharaoh, “This is the  finger of God ” ( Exodus 8:19 ). “Aaron stretched out his hand with his rod, and smote the dust of the earth: and  lice came upon man and upon all men and beasts ( Exodus 8:17  Geneva Revelation 11:6 – Swarms of plagues are released by the two Witnesses. Swarms can also be applied as swarms of judgments. Many believe that the Revelation passage indicates a swarm of beasts.   As judgments intensify, God waits for increased pressure on mankind to bring them to repentance.   Plague #4: Flies Flies (Dogflies) invade the land and because they are blood-sucking biting flies they infect both animal and human. This type of fly could have been responsible for blindness that was recorded at record highs in Egyptian men at this time). Egyptian god that was targeted is Baalzebub: Lord of the flies (representative of Satan) “For if you do not let my people go, behold, I will send  swarms of flies on you and on your servants and on your people and into your houses; and the houses of the Egyptians will be full of swarms of flies.” ( Exodus 8:21 ) NIV Baalzebub is a common name for Satan in the Bible. But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, “It is only by  Beelzebul , the prince of  demons , that this man casts out demons.” ( Matthew 12:24 ) ESV An ashen horse had the name Death; and Hades followed. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by the swarms of wild beasts of the earth. ( Revelation 6:8 ) KJV Chaos, deception and rebellion are often characteristic of demonic activity.   Plague #5: Pestilence Pestilence invaded animals outside in the fields, except for the Hebrews’ animals (some believe this is the anthrax bacteria which is deadly to animals). Hathor was the Cow goddess and  Knom: the Ram-like god were targeted.   Moses said, "Let My people go, that they may serve Me. The LORD will come with a very severe  pestilence on you…. your livestock out in the fields—horses, donkeys, camels, cattle, sheep—striking them with a severe disease. ” ( Exodus 9:1-3 ) RSV “I saw an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death; and Hades was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with famine, pestilence and by the wild beasts of the earth.” ( Revelation 6:8 ) The pestilence on animals not only affects food supply, but many of the deadliest plagues are transmitted to humans by bats, rats, birds, and monkeys: bubonic plague, ebola, avian flu, and COVID-19, just to name a few. Plague #6: Boils Boils infected all Egyptians. Some believe these were “Nile Blisters” similar to those caused by Scarlet Fever. Sekhmet: (body of a woman, head of a lioness) was to protect the Egyptian people from epidemics. “Moses took soot from a kiln, and stood before Pharaoh; and he threw it toward the sky, and it became  boils breaking out with  sores on man and beast”. ( Exodus 9:10 ) NIV “So the first angel poured out his bowl on the earth; and it became a loathsome and malignant  sore  on the people who had the mark of the beast and who worshiped his image.” ( Revelation 16:2 ) NIV Leprosy  is an infectious disease that causes severe, disfiguring  skin  sores and  nerve damage . In Bible times, leprosy was often used as a symbol for sin. Plague #7: Hail Hail  rained down on the land destroying all that was in the fields: Crops, animals and humans.The principal Egyptian god targeted was  Isis : agricultural goddess. Now the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand toward the sky, that  hail  may fall on all the land of Egypt, on man and on beast and on every plant of the field, throughout the land of Egypt. ( Exodus 9:22-24 ) Two tribulation judgments mention hail: Revelation 8:7 and 16:17-21, the First Trumpet Judgment, and seventh bowl judgment – hailstones, thunder and lightning occur. “The first trumpet sounded, and there came  hail and fire , mixed with blood, and they were thrown to the earth; and a third of the earth was burned up, and a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.” ( Revelation 8:7 ) Job experienced hail and fire that Satan rained upon his family, but instead of rejecting God, Job blessed and surrendered his life to Him. Plague #8: Locusts Locust swarmed  and destroyed everything that the hail left behind, but not in the land of Goshen where the Hebrews lived.   The Egyptian god defeated was  Seth:  an agricultural god in the image of a locust.   “I will cover the entire nation with a thick layer of locusts so that you won’t even be able to see the ground, and they will destroy everything not destroyed by hail. They will fill your palace, and your homes.” Exodus 10:6 KJV The Hebrews were untouched because God protected them.   The fifth trumpet judgment teaches us that the locusts come up from the pit of hell and delivered excruciating suffering:   “The angel opened the bottomless pit, and out of the smoke came locusts upon the earth, and power was given them, as the scorpions of the earth have power. They were told not to hurt the grass of the earth, nor any green thing, nor any tree, but only the men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. And they were not permitted to kill anyone, but to torment for five months; and their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it stings a man. And in those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will long to die, and death flees from them.” ( Revelation 9:3-4 ) The locusts came out of the bottomless pit. The demonic door swings open for demons to come forth. Tribulation saints were untouched because they had the seal of God. Satan’s goal is to kill and torment us. Jesus came to give us victory over him. Plague #9: Darkness  Darkness  covered the land and its thickness could be “felt” by the people and they could do nothing for three days, but light covered the land of Goshen where the Hebrews lived. The most notable god targeted was Ra:  the sun god and king of the gods.   Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand toward the sky, that there may be  darkness  over the land of Egypt, even  a darkness which may be felt ." ( Exodus 10:21 )   The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and his kingdom became  darkened ; and they gnawed their tongues  because of pain , and they blasphemed the God of heaven because of their  pains  and their sores; and they did not repent of their deeds. ( Revelation 16:10-11 ) Satan is called the “Prince of Darkness.” But Jesus promises us: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8;12 MSG Plague #10 : Death of the Firstborn This plague is directed toward  Pharaoh  himself and any final hope that the gods of Egypt transcended the God of Israel. Pharaoh himself was a god to the Egyptians. If the Hebrews if followed God’s direction to place the blood of the lamb on the doorposts, the Angel of death would “pass over”.   Moses said, "Thus says the LORD, 'About midnight I am going out into the midst of Egypt, and all  the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die , from the firstborn of the Pharaoh who sits on his throne, even to the firstborn of the slave girl who is behind the millstones; all the firstborn of the cattle as well.” ( Exodus 11:4-5 ) The beast and kings of the earth and their armies assembled to make war against < yeshua > and against His army. And the Antichrist and false prophet were thrown alive into the lake of fire. And those who took the mark of the beast were slain with the sword which came from the mouth of Him who sat on the horse, and all the birds were filled with their flesh. ( Revelation 19:19-21 )   “He (God) is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.”2 Peter 3:9 MSG   But can we know exactly why God judged so harshly.  Author Jeff Elkins writes in “Wrestling with the Violence of God:”   “My problem is, I want more. I want to know why God would do such a thing, but the scripture does not give it to me. In the absence of that information, I am forced to ask myself what I know about God.  And what I know is that God is love. And I chose to translate all things through that lens. I don’t think passages like these should be ignored. I think there are in the Bible for us to wrestle with. I hope that in wrestling, like Jacob, I will come out broken and changed, carrying the name Israel, “the one who wrestles with God.” My wife Julie collaborated on this article.

Dear Roger, I was just commissioned as a pastor here in Nigeria. I want to become a better leader for my congregation. What should a church leader be like? Thank you, Theetso Dear Theetso, I am so glad that you asked you asked this question. I believe that one of the greatest needs in the church is solid, biblical leadership. In fact, when Jesus talked about “sheep without a shepherd,” He was talking about the need for good leadership. Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  ( Matthew 9:35-36 ) What Characteristics Are People Looking for in Their Leaders? In “The Leadership Challenge,” by authors Kouzes and Posner, we can see four characteristics people are looking for in good leadership. Followers want leaders who are:  honest ,  competent ,  visionary , and  inspirational.  I have found the same to be true in over fifty years of pastoring. Those four traits are what good leaders ARE. They’re also the foundation of what great leaders DO. Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  ( Matthew 9:35-36 ) 1. Great Christian Leaders Have a Passionate Desire to Know God I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  ( Philippians 3:10-12 ) “Christianity Today” Magazine surveyed 100  pastors  of large American churches. They found that these pastors demonstrated a passionate desire to grow a large church; but, sadly, not a corresponding desire to know God. Obviously, this is one of the reasons why Christianity is declining in America. 2. Great Christian Leaders Are in Touch with Where People Are and Lead Accordingly “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.”  -  John 10:14-15 Studies reveal that in the average church, 10% of the people do 90% of the work. We call these people the “pillars” of the congregation. On the flip side, this means that 90% of the church members do very little or nothing. I call these attendees the “caterpillars” because they crawl in and around the pillars. Church leaders—pillars—respond to commitment. When the pastor is greeting guests at the end of the worship service, a church leader comes by and says: “Good sermon today! I love how you pushed hard for the non-money givers to start  tithing . They need to feel guilty.” On the other hand, attendees (caterpillars) are more likely to respond to compassion and understanding. As Andrew McLaren said: “Please be kind to everyone you meet because everyone is fighting a battle.” Most Christians come to Christ because someone compassionately loved them into the kingdom. In other words, most people respond better to compassion than they do to commitment. 3. Great Christian Leaders Are Willing to Take Risks Think about the risk Mary took. Read  Luke 1  carefully, and you’ll discover that Gabriel gave her a choice. She did not have to say “yes.” She must’ve thought about all the ridicule, mocking, and, smearing comments about her having a child out of wedlock. She considered the risk and said, “Be it unto me as you said.” God said to Jeremiah, “So you want to be my Prophet? If so, the people will beat you mercilessly, throw you in stocks, toss you in cisterns, and never believe a word you say. Do you still want the job?” Jeremiah took the risk. God said to Isaiah, “Take off your clothes and walk down the streets of Jerusalem naked.” Talk about a risk! Isaiah walked naked for the next three years ( Isaiah 20 ) in order to deliver God’s message to Egypt and Cush. He took the risk. God uses leaders who will take risks when He calls. 4. Great Christian Leaders Model Christian Living “ Follow my example as I follow Christ .” - See  1 Corinthians 11:1 My seven-year-old brother, my dad, and I were walking through hot-burning beach sand in the middle of the afternoon. My father turned around to see my brother and me carefully placing our feet in his footprints. “Why,” he asked. “Because it doesn’t burn as much in the places where you have already stepped.” Leaders set an example for others to follow. They put up signposts when people feel unsure of where to go or how to get there. Like it or not, church leaders are also held to higher standards. I carefully counted my change at the checkout line at the grocery store. I realized that the cashier had given me five dollars too much. I said to her, “You gave me five dollars too much.” She said, “I know. I was in your church service this morning, and I was just testing you.” 5. Great Christian Leaders Develop an Inspired Vision “ Without a vision, the people perish.” - Proverbs 29:18 Great Christian leaders envision the future and create an inspired idea of what the church or organization can become. A new vision often creates change. Many people do not handle change well. They will fight to preserve the status quo at any price. Then, when change occurs, about 10% are the early adapters are pioneers who immediately support the change without question. Then studies have shown that about 80% of the group will accept the change if they are properly cultivated. 10% of the people will resist strongly. Don’t be discouraged by that last 10%! God gives His leaders a vision and calls us to action. 6. Great Leaders Set People Free to Act Thomas Jefferson said: “There are two kinds of leaders. Those who trust people and those who fear the people.” Some churches or businesses don’t trust their people. Their attitude seems to be, “Give them an inch, and they will take a mile.” That translates into the belief that people must be watched very carefully and micromanaged to be certain that they are not slacking off. Very few of these churches and businesses accomplish much—their people don’t respond with loyalty or motivation. On the other hand, good leaders believe that they can trust people. They don’t need to look over their shoulders. They stay out of the way and let them do their jobs. If you do the same, you will come out far ahead with your workers or church congregation. My dad advised, “Don’t ever push down the people around you to make yourself look better. Instead, lavish great praise on the people around you, and in time, they will lift you up on their shoulders.” He was a great leader. 7. Great Leaders Encourage the Heart Good leaders recognize the contributions that individuals make and share them publicly. They celebrate accomplishments. They make people feel like heroes. Many years ago, I decided that I would try to say a word of encouragement to at least three people a day. It’s amazing how even strangers will smile when you take a moment to say something that builds them up. One day a staff member said, “Roger, do you know what you do best for us?” “No.” “What you do best is encourage us.” Mission accomplished. 8. Good Leaders Develop a 'Catalytic' Leadership Style People often ask, “Which is more important?”, meeting the needs of the people or building up the structure of the organization? Most people immediately answer, “The needs of the people.” This is the ENCOURAGER style of leadership. Barnabas mentored John Mark, who was such a disappointment to Paul. But at the end of his life, Paul asked for Mark to come and visit him in prison because, said Paul, “Mark is a profitable man for the ministry.” Paul could only say this because Barnabas mentored John Mark to maturity. Encouragers are people-centered. They promote love and unity. David was a COMMANDER. This is the EFFICIENT style of leadership. This leader is more concerned about building a strong organization than about caring for the people who are part of it. Commanders usually have narrow agendas, are rigid and efficient, create conflicts and pressure, and leave a trail of broken and bleeding people in their wake. David built a great empire and ruined his family. You would not have wanted to be one of David’s children. The CATALYST is the most EFFECTIVE style. Nehemiah is the best biblical example of a CATALYST. He recognized that when the people returned from Babylon, it was important both to build up the walls of the city and to meet the needs of the people. Catalysts balance building up the people with building up the organization. They understand that building a wall—or a strong organization—is one of the best ways to care for the people. On the other hand, people who are well-cared for are loyal and motivated to build the wall. 9. Great Leaders Understand the Distinction between Management and Leadership Management is getting other people to do something. Leadership is getting other people to want to do it. Well, Theetso, I hope that these principles are helpful to you. I will pray that God will develop you into a great leader that people love to follow. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Please tell me about the power that comes from praying through the names of God. Sincerely, Danny Dear Danny, I would be delighted. Listening to Christ pray must have been marvelous experience. The disciples saw and heard Him often on long nights alone—and stole glances at Him. He did not often pray alone. The disciples observed how the Pharisees prayed with arms stretched upward, heads held high, and loud. But they saw power in the prayers of Jesus that they didn’t see in the prayers of the Pharisees.   One day, they asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray.” In Luke 11, Christ responded with what we often call, “The Lord’s Prayer.” Here is a prayer which can be repeated in 15 seconds; yet it is possible to pray through it for hours. And there are millions of people who can say that prayer, but very few ever learn to pray it like Jesus did. The power comes not in the saying, but in the praying of that prayer.   The Lord’s Prayer is just one of many models that we may use as guidelines when we pray. Another good guideline is the acrostic ACTS which stands for “Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication,” But, far and away my favorite model is praying through the names of God. Jesus begins by saying, “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be thy name” ( Matthew 6:9-13 ). You are fortunate if you have a father who loves you and makes certain that your needs are met. One early morning before going to school, I opened the door to the den to see my father on his knees in prayer. I have no difficulty praying, “Our father in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” But what if your dad wasn’t all that good? I recall counseling with a brokenhearted man who said to me, “I watched my father beat my mom until she couldn’t get up off the floor.” Can you imagine that he just might have trouble seeing God as his father? The loveliest name for “father” in the Greek language is “ Abba .” Today, we might say, “Daddy.” NAMES ARE SIGNIFICANT We named our first daughter, “Jessica,” which means, “God sees us.” Then, we named our second child, “Brianna,” which means “Gift from God.” She was a gift after Jessica died. “Bronwyn” is the name of our third daughter. It’s a Welsh name which means “pure heart.” I need to mention this before I go any further: “You must not take the name of the Lord your God in vain ( Exodus 20:7 ). “Do not take the name of God in vain” does not mean “don’t curse.” Taking the Lord’s name in vain means that we empty God of His power. Now, the most significant name of God is “YHWH,” or “I am.” This name has to do with past, present, and future. It refers to God’s eternal existence. YHWH is most often transliterated into English as JEHOVAH. THE MANY NAMES FOR GOD One day my four-year-old daughter asked me about God’s name. I explained that God had many names including Father, Lord, and Jehovah. After listening to my long explanation, she asked, “Can I just call him Steve?” Ah, I love hearing what’s on a child’s mind! The word “ EL ” is the most used name of God and refers to God’s mighty power. His names that begin with “El” are His creative names. The “Elohim” names are used as a pretext to enunciate various aspects of God’s power and character. The “El” are also His powerful names. Then, there are the “Jehovah” names of God. These are the personal, intimate names. I like to pray through the Jehovah names of God. JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU =JEHOVAH OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS Righteousness has two aspects. First, we are made righteous by receiving Christ as our Lord and Savior. The book of Revelation tells us that in heaven God gives us a white robe and declares that because of the work of Christ on the cross, we are declared righteous and fit for heaven. I thank Jehovah-Tsidkenu for the benefit of forgiveness of sin and qualification for eternal life in Heaven when I die. Second, I pray that I will live righteously today in everything that I that I say and do: Lord, I want to be right in every decision that I make today. I don’t want to be wrong anywhere. JEHOVAH-M’KADDESH =  JEHOVAH OUR SANCTIFIER Jehovah-M’Kaddesh is the name of the God who purifies us and makes us holy. I pray, Oh Lord, please mature me to be a spiritual father or mother at any price. Make me holy and pure. I’m willing to pay the cost of discipleship. May I experience victory as I surrender to you as my Lord and Savior. JEHOVAH-SHALOM =  JEHOVAH OUR PEACE Jesus, Jehovah-Shalom, calmed the storm. Pray for whatever he needs to do to calm your life. Lord, I need your peace today. JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH  =  JEHOVAH OUR INDWELLING PRESENCE We all temples of God. He lives within us as the Holy Spirit. He is our partner for everyday living. We thank God for the Holy Spirit and for the life He pours into us. Pray: Help us to keep our hearts and lives clean and pure from sin. JEHOVAH-ROPHE = JEHOVAH OUR HEALER Rophe means to “restore” or “cure” or heal in the physical, moral, and spiritual sense. I pray every day to Jehovah-Rophe to heal and cleanse my body and my family. JEHOVAH JIREH = OUR PROVIDER God supplies all of our needs. He promised He would, and we can depend fully on Him. So, I pray for everything on my calendar for the day. I pray, God, please care for and provide for my finances … health … relationships . This is the God who can put into our lives everything that he desires for us. JEHOVAH-NISSI = JEHOVAH OUR BANNER Today, we have many ways to communicate in battle. In ancient times, signal flags were used to place troops in proper position. In God’s battle, our Banner represents a sign of deliverance and salvation. Christ is the banner of our redemption and warfare. It’s a victory flag! I pray, God, please provide the victory in the spiritual battles I face every day. JEHOVAH-ROHI =JEHOVAH IS MY SHEPHERD Psalm 23 teaches that we all need a shepherd. I pray, The Lord is my shepherd; You are all I want. THE NAME OF GOD MATTERS One day, every knee will bow in submission and praise at the name of Jesus: “Therefore God… gave Him a name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow… and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9-11) Let’s do a brief meditation. Imagine yourself bowing before the resurrected Jesus, who is seated upon His throne. Join in with countless others. Bow low. Lift your eyes. Pray, Worthy are You to receive glory and power, wisdom and strength and glory! Well, Danny, I hope this will help you in your spiritual growth and your intimacy with God! Love, Roger

Dear Roger, What did Paul mean when he said that as Christians, our bodies will be raised from the grave? What will our spiritual bodies be like in heaven? Sincerely, Juliana Dear Juliana, Like you, I have so many questions about what happens when we die. My most read Ask Roger article of all time—with millions of views—is about cremation! I think it’s natural to wonder what the future will be like, especially when one of our loved ones dies. In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul dealt with this issue. Some of the Christians at Corinth were beginning to deny the basic Christian doctrine of the resurrection of the dead—a doctrine Jesus taught many times during His ministry and enacted with His own resurrection. Paul clearly addressed the reason the resurrection of the dead is so important to the very heart of the Gospel, writing, “By this gospel you are saved … Christ dies for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve …” (1 Corinthians 15:2-5). Our resurrection is also foundational. Paul continued, If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. … But Christ indeed has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep” … then, when He comes, those who belong to Him (1 Corinthians 15:20, 23). I am always extremely grateful when God chooses to spell out a truth with a parable or illustration that helps to simplify a mystery. Paul compared the physical body to a seed, one that God has created “as he has determined.” But then when a seed is planted, it dies, coming to life again in another form. He finished his explanation this way: So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body (1 Corinthians 15:42-43) Here, we know that there is a physical body and a spiritual body. They’re completely different in nature. For me, two questions remain unanswered. First, what does the process of resurrection look like? Second, what kind of body will we have when we are raised up? THE PROCESS AND TIMING OF RESURRECTION We know that Jesus was raised in a physical body , with “flesh and bones” ( Luke 24:39 ). We will be raised like He was ( Romans 6:5 ). And the Lord, in His power, “will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body” ( Philippians 3:21 ). Numerous biblical passages declare that we will be like Jesus, having a spiritual body fit for heaven. Paul described in 1 Corinthians 15 and in 1 Thessalonians 1-4 an event known as the “Rapture” that will occur at the beginning or at the middle of the seven-year Great Tribulation. For some background, when the Tribulation begins, all hell will break forth on the earth. God begins to pour out His wrath out upon mankind. The antichrist and his forces mercilessly murder thousands of Christians and Jews. At the Rapture, the graves of those Christians who have already died are opened, and they receive a spiritual body as they rise to meet Jesus in the sky. Christians who are alive at that time will have their bodies immediately changed into spiritual ones. Both groups proceed to heaven. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-16) Jesus also described the Rapture: This is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill, one will be taken and the other left. Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. (Matthew 24:39-42) It is possible that Jesus was describing the Rapture as occurring not at the beginning or middle of the of the Tribulation, but at the end. A resurrection at this time would occur simultaneously with the Second Coming of Jesus, which is at the very end of the Great Tribulation. However, I hold to a Pre-Tribulation or Mid-Tribulation view of the Rapture (Please search my other “Ask Roger” articles for “Rapture” for much more information on this subject.) COULD THERE BE TWO RESURRECTIONS? Frankly, I see no reason why there couldn’t be two resurrections. The first would be at the Rapture at the beginning or middle of the Great Tribulation (1 Thessalonians 4). The second resurrection would be post-resurrection and occur at the Second Coming, as described in Matthew 24. By the way, I’ve long wondered about the bodies of the holy people which were raised during and after the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus as recorded in Matthew 27:50-53; The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs were open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus’ resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. Who were these people? God tells us that their job was to proclaim the message of the Gospel and the resurrection of Jesus. Other than that, we don’t know how long they ministered or how God resurrected them. I doubt that He reburied them. Perhaps they were forerunners of the Rapture. OUR SPIRITUAL BODIES 1 Corinthians 15:42 proclaims, “J ust as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven.” We get a glimpse of what our resurrection bodies will be like when we recall Jesus’s post-resurrection appearances. In Acts 1-2, you can see that He still had visible wounds, and His disciples could physically touch Him. However, He was able to travel effortlessly and appear and disappear at will. He could go through walls and doors, and he could also eat and drink and sit and talk. Scripture informs us that our “earthly bodies” will be just “like His glorious body.” What would it have been like to walk with Him on the road Emmaus, as Mr. and Mrs. Cleopas were discussing the day’s crucifixion events. Suddenly, Jesus was walking and talking beside them. He came to their house and revealed himself to them. They ate boiled fish together. They begged him to stay, but He had other duties to perform. Mary was sitting by the open tomb talking to a man she didn’t know. As the man gradually revealed more about Himself, she suddenly recognized that this is Jesus. Jesus instructed her to tell the disciples what had just happened. Moments later, He was suddenly with them. Two weeks later in the Upper Room, Thomas touched His body which had flesh and blood. It was a real body. He became a believer. He even ate broiled fish. (See Mark 16:40; Luke 24:1-2; Luke 24:37-40). What would it have been like to see Him appearing and disappearing at will? “Beam me up” is one of the most famous catchphrases from the “Star Trek” series. It’s the command issued when a character wishes to teleport from a remote location back to the Starship Enterprise . Could it be something like that? His body seems to transcend time and space. Take a look at Philippians 3:20-21; But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Most Christians imagine that we will be spirits of one kind or another. But our spiritual bodies are much more than just spirits! The fact that our bodies will be like Jesus is important to remember because we tend to look at a spirit as being some kind of nebulous body floating around somewhere. But this is not the case. All the things that Jesus could do in his spiritual body; we will be able to do in ours. We know that because our bodies will be just like His body. The bodies we have now become sick and die; but they will be full of glory when they become spiritual bodies. They are weak now, but when we experience resurrection, they will be full of strength. They are just human bodies at death, but when they are resurrected, they will be super- spiritual human-like bodies. We will spend eternity in an actual body that is custom designed by God to make us fit to live and maneuver in the heavenly spiritual realms. HOW MUCH OF THE BODY IS NEEDED FOR RESURRECTION? What about a piece of a body that was smashed to pieces in an airplane crash? Will that piece be enough? What about those who were drowned in the depths of the ocean whose bodies disintegrated and floated away a long-time ago? What about those who have been blown into a million bits by explosions in war? Is one molecule enough to rebuild a body? How about one strand of DNA? Our infinite Creator God will not have to use our physical bodies. Cells are dying and being replaced all the time. Did you know that there is not one cell in your body that you had three years ago? Of course, God can certainly make for us any kind of spiritual body that He chooses. After all, if He can create the universe out of nothing (Hebrews 11:3), He can certainly fashion a body out of nothing. Be encouraged! Paul closes his teaching on the resurrection body with great hope: When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthian 15:49-50, 52-53) Well Julianna, I hope this is helpful to you and gives you hope for our future in heaven! Love, Roger

Dear Roger, It has been a rough year. We’ve struggled through problems and sufferings and trials and troubles and sickness and disappointments. I wonder why God won’t reduce the pressure. Could He be disciplining me? Sincerely, Worn Out Dear Worn Out, If you thought that when you became a Christian, all of your troubles were over, you had best think twice. We all agree that our children need discipline at one time or another. However, we tend to forget that we sons and daughters of God must be disciplined as well. Unraveling the convoluted twists and turns of suffering has everything to do with the reality of God-given discipline for His children. The number-one biblical chapter on discipline is Hebrews 12. The number-one verse is Hebrews 12:10-11, which says, Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Years ago, my mother and I were discussing the nature of God. I shared with her how God sometimes allows pain into the lives of His children. My mother was indignant. She said, “You can’t tell me that a loving God would ever hurt His children.” I never could convince her that she was wrong. When we think of discipline, we think of punishment. But discipline is so much more than that. Discipline may include training, educating, practicing, and willpower. These are all positive, life-changing things. By the way, a person who has never asked Jesus to forgive his sins and received Christ into his life as Lord and Savior has an open avenue for God to punish their behavior. This is the basic teaching of Psalm 73. The difference between God’s discipline of believers and God’s punishment of unbelievers lies not in the nature of the pain but rather the purpose of the pain. Lost people suffer for nothing. Christians suffer for Someone. The suffering of believers and unbelievers often may look alike. Both can get cancer. Both can lose jobs. Both can watch loved ones die—but a person without Jesus is being punished for his sins while God is disciplining His children with a definite purpose in mind. Let me share some principles about properly handling God’s discipline. According to the Bible, Discipline from God May Spring Forth from Several Different Sources. 1. CORRECTIVE DISCIPLINE God disciplines us when we sin. This is corrective discipline. The classic example is David on the palace roof. He saw the lovely naked Bathsheba and committed the sins of adultery and murder. God moved against him in corrective discipline so that David would never do it again. Obviously, there is a dimension of punishment involved as the consequences for his behaviors. “The sword shall never depart from your house,” said Nathan the prophet. David’s life was miserable afterward. His baby died. Ahithophel rebelled. Tamar was raped. Abner was killed by Joab. David was driven from Jerusalem. The list goes on … his son Absalom even had sex with David’s concubines on the rooftops of Jerusalem. But the marvelous thing was that through all that punishment, David became a better man … a more godly man. Even if it was painful. Examine the suffering in your life and see if maybe you’re experiencing punishment that you deserve. 2. PREVENTION Sometimes God disciplines us not as a result of sin but to keep us from sinning in the future. We make rules for our children like, “Don’t play in the street.” They respond, “Aw, dad, all the kids play in the street.” But this preventative discipline may one day save their lives. We discipline them to keep them from getting hurt! As recorded in 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul pleaded three times for God to remove the thorn that He had allowed Satan to insert into his body. God was making certain that Paul would not get proud, even after he received heavenly visions. Instead of removing the thorn, God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:8). Carefully consider what your struggles might be preventing you from experiencing … ask God to reveal the reason for His preventative discipline. 3. EDUCATION Sometimes God gives us instruction through the trials that assault us. Job is a good example of how God can use trials as critical education. Did Job commit any sin? No. Did God use Job’s suffering to prevent sin? No. God allowed Job to suffer so that he might better know the nature of God. All of his troubles were for Job’s education. God said, “Job you know a lot, but you do not know enough, so I’m going to educate you.” If you’ve ever taken time to catalog all of Job’s sufferings, you know that he lost his family, his children, his animals, his health, and friends. God taught Job that He is God and Job is not. God transcends everyone and everything. When you suffer, ask God to reveal what He is teaching you. Pray for wisdom and endurance. Look for His leading. And remember, God restored all that Job lost! 4. PUNISHMENT Our behaviors have consequences. When Miriam and Aaron tried to undermine God’s authority, He struck them both with leprosy. God killed some of the Christian revelers who were defiling the Lord’s table (see 1 Corinthians 3). God struck down Ananias and Sapphira when they lied about giving to the church (Acts 5). When my children needed discipline, I always looked at them and said, “I’m disciplining you because I love you and I don’t want you to grow up to be the kind of person who would act like this.” Search your heart and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in your life. Then, enter into the process of asking for forgiveness and changing your actions. Punishment comes out of God’s desire to make us into the image of Jesus Christ! God’s Discipline Proves that He Loves Us When trouble and trials arrive, we can say, “Thanks, God, there is no doubt in my mind that You love me.” Let’s take another look at Hebrews 12:5-6; “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Some say that if a child is into something that he or she ought not to be, he or she ought not to be spanked. But instead, you are to switch his or her attention to something else. It wasn’t my attention that my mother switched! When I needed punishment, she pulled out the belt and began marching me to my room. All the time, she was telling me how much she loved my brother and me. My brother and I didn’t believe it then, but we both certainly believe it now. And I thank God that she and my dad cared enough to cause momentary pain for my benefit. Looking back, what my mother did may have teetered on the edge of child abuse. But the Bible does say, “Spare the rod and spoil the child” (Proverbs 13:24). The key is that the form of discipline must change over time. Leading up to eight years old, a spanking of appropriate impact may work wonders. In the childhood years, standing in the corner may work well. The high school years are tough! Take away the cell phone and the car keys. Then, by age 18, you have helped your child spread their wings and it is time to leave home. Just a note: if you know someone who lives without discipline, he should not say, “I’m perfect.” He or she should say, “I’m illegitimate; I’m a phony;” because all of God’s children receive His discipline. God says, “You are my child, and I’m going to discipline you because I want my children to be something special.” Discipline lets you know that you are God’s child and that He desires you. There Are Several Perils to Discipline found in Hebrews 12 that Can Restrict What God Wants to Do in Us Let’s look at Hebrews 12:7-10; Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 1. Do not despise God’s discipline. Submit to God and live. 2. Don’t misjudge what is really happening. God is working his plan even when it hurts. 3. Don’t become callous, bitter, whine, complain, question, struggle with resentment, blame God or begin to doubt God’s love and care. When we see a Christian in trouble become bitter and callous against God, we know that that person is an immature Christian who despises the work of God. Do you know anybody like that? Have you ever done that? Never forget Psalm 34:19: “ Many are the afflictions of the righteous.” Finally, every trouble that comes is spiritual exercise that builds spiritual muscle. The stronger we, are the better will understand what God is doing in our lives. I was concluding teaching a three-month class on the basic principles of spiritual growth when a very pregnant woman raised her hand and asked, “If I begin to pray to be a spiritual mother at any price, is there a chance that God might take my baby?” “The truth is, I can think of some extreme scenarios where your question might come into play. But I certainly wouldn’t worry about it. You go ahead and pray for God to make you a spiritual mother at any price. I’m sure your baby will be just fine.” I was working in my office several days later when my phone rang: “Hi. I’m the pregnant woman in your spiritual growth class who asked if God might take my baby if I began to pray to be a spiritual woman at any price. Remember me?” “Yes, of course, I remember you.” “I went home that night and began to pray to be a spiritual mother at any price. I just wanted you to know that I gave birth to my baby three days ago. My baby lived for six hours. I just returned home from the funeral. Could you come over and see me?” I was stunned—and felt awful. What should I say? What should I not say? Would it do any good to try to explain? Explain what? Should I just keep my mouth shut and let her do all the talking? “Oh, God, help me!” I parked and walked up the sidewalk. When her husband opened the door, I saw her resting in a recliner. Her husband invited me to sit on the couch. She spoke first, “I may never know if there was any connection between my prayer to be a spiritual mother and the death of my baby. But I do know this—God will use even this for the good purpose of molding me to look like Jesus. Thank you.” Mary Magdalene stood at the empty tomb and cried and cried. She was crying at the very thing that was designed to bring her the greatest joy that she ever had. Worn Out, Don’t stand before the open tomb of your troubles and cry. God designed it for your profit and for your joy. Love, Roger

Roger, My heart is so burdened for the people of Israel. I wish I could go over there and fight! What can I do now, today, to intervene for God’s people? Sincerely, Emily Dear Emily, I collaborate with my daughter, Brie Barrier Wetherbee, very often. She’s an author and theologian, too, and when she saw your question, asked me if she could share a few thoughts. I think you’ll find her words very helpful. - Roger Dear Emily, God has given us the ultimate weapon to fight His Kingdom battles both on earth and in the spiritual realms. He promises that “the  prayer  of a righteous person is powerful and effective: ( James 5:16  NIV). This is not a “pie-in-the-sky” panacea or empty promise. You and I CAN move mountains on earth and in heaven when we come together and pray. This morning, I opened up the news, and it's filled with pro-Hamas, pro-Palestinian rallies right here in the U.S. Did you know that nearly  20% of millennials and Gen Z  in New York believe that Jews caused the Holocaust? And only  34% of Americans  aged 18-39 believe Hamas is responsible for the conflict. Beheading babies. Raping women. Killing entire families in their beds. Holding hostages. Somehow, that's Israel's fault... simply for existing. I don't understand, except that Satan is really skilled at twisting truth and stirring up hate. What We Can Do to Help Israel Today My heart is so heavy for Israel right now. I know yours is, too. So, why don’t we stop right now and whenever the Holy Spirit prompts us, to pray for peace in Israel? Let’s pray for protection over God's people. Pray for comfort for those who have lost loved ones. Pray for victory over Satan's evil plans. Pray for truth to be made evident in the minds and hearts of the world. Pray for the Messiah's love to be clear and evident in remarkable ways. Pray for humanitarian aid to reach the hungry and helpless. Pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ living both in Israel and Palestine--that we would be made unmistakable by our love for Jesus and for our love for one another. Praying Through Scripture Now, I think praying through Scripture is one of the most effective, beautiful ways God has given us to pray—especially when we speak His Word aloud. Join me to read  Psalm 91  right now, out loud, for Israel, the Jewish people, and all followers of Jesus Christ: 1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my  salvation .” May God bless you with strength, peace, and confidence in His power as you pray. THIS is the most critical, effective way we can fight for God’s people! Much love, Brie P.S. For more info on how to pray for peace in Jerusalem, visit  https://piti.wpengine.com/ask-roger/detail/how-do-you-pray-for-peace-in-jerusalem/ . It’s a great ASK ROGER that’ll help you dig deeper.

Dear Roger, What do I really know about Israel? Are they really God's chosen people? Sincerely, Tina Dear Tina, Jews are, biblically speaking, the “chosen people of God” and dearly loved by Him. Another reason for Christians to support the nation of Israel is because of the Abrahamic Covenant. We read of God’s promise in Genesis 12:2-3 , “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (see also  Genesis 27:29 ;  Numbers 24:9 ). Here are a few extraordinary facts about Israel. These fact are compiled from Geography : Israel is only 1/6 of 1% of the landmass of the Middle East. Israel is roughly half the size of Lake Michigan. The Sea of Galilee , at 695 ft. below sea level, is the lowest freshwater lake in the world. The Dead Sea is the lowest surface point on earth, at about 1,373 feet below sea level. Israel is the only nation in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees. Jericho is the oldest continuously inhabited town in the world. The Mount of Olives in Jerusalem is the oldest, continually used cemetery in the world.   Demographics : Israel's population is half the size of Metro New York City. Israel has only 2% of the population of the Middle East.   Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees per capita in the world. Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation in the world – by a large margin. Israel has the highest number of scientists and technicians per capita in the world – by a large margin. Israel has the highest number of engineers per capita in the world. Israel has the highest number of PhD’s per capita in the world. Israel has the highest number of physicians per capita in the world. Israel has the largest percentage of its workforce employed in technical professions in the world. Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation in the world, per capita.   Israel is the only country in the Middle East where the Christian population has grown over the last 50 years. Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Christians, Muslims and Jews are all free to vote. Israel is the only country in the Middle East where women enjoy full political rights.   Economics :   Israel has the largest number of startup companies per capita in the world. Israel is the world’s largest wholesale diamond center, finally surpassing Antwerp in the 1970’s. Most of the cut & polished diamonds in the world come from Israel. Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies outside of the US and Canada.   Israel was the first country to have a free trade agreement with the United States. Apart from the Silicon Valley, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world.   The cell phone was developed in Israel at Motorola’s largest development center. The Voice Mail technology was developed in Israel.   In the early 80’s, IBM chose an Israeli-designed computer chip as the brains for its first personal computers. The first anti-virus software for computers was developed in Israel in 1979. Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed in Israel by Microsoft.   Both the Pentium-4 and Centrino processors were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel. The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel. Israel has the highest number of home computers per capita in the world. The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ was developed in 1996 by 4 young Israelis. Israel was the first Middle Eastern country to launch a satellite, the Ofek 1, on September 19, 1988.   Culture : Hebrew is the only case of a dead national language being revived in all of world history.   Hebrew had not been spoken as a native tongue by anyone for centuries. Today it is the native tongue of millions of people. Israel has more museums per capita than any other nation in the world. Israel has more orchestras per capita than any other nation in the world. Israel publishes more books per capita than any other nation in the world. Israel publishes more books translated from other languages than any other nation in the world. Israel reads more books per capita than any other nation in the world. The most independent and free Arabic press in the Middle East is in Israel   Military/Security :   Israel has the largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the US . Israel has the world’s most impenetrable airline security.   Israel spends more money per capita on its own protection than any country in the world.   Other :   Israel’s dairy cows are the most productive dairy cows in the world. They average 25,432 pounds of milk per cow per year, compared to just 18,747 pounds from American cows; 17,085 from Canadian cows; 13,778 from European Union cows; 10,207 from Australian cows; and 6,600 from Chinese cows.   Israel has more in-vitro fertilization per capita than anywhere in the world, and it’s free.   ·      Israelis, per capita, are the world’s biggest consumers of fruits and vegetables.   Of the 175 UN Security Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against Israel. Of the 690 UN General Assembly resolutions voted on after 1990, 429 were directed against Israel.   So what must we do to support God’s people, even today? Listen to the words of the psalmist:   Psalms 122:6  “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, they shall prosper that love you.”

My daughter, Brianna Barrier Wetherbee, has suffered more than most people can imagine. Even through serious chronic illness, past abuse and trauma, and great heartbreak, I’ve watched her persevere with a strength that can only be from God. I asked her to share some of her thoughts about dealing with a crisis—and I think that in these days of terror and pain, you’ll be well-equipped with her teaching. Please take her words to heart. Love, Roger   My husband almost died in July 2016. Brad is an incredibly strong man. Tough as nails. I was working over at Brad’s office, and I found him unconscious on the floor. When we got to the hospital, the doctors discovered an aneurysm on the artery that goes to his spleen. The spleen is basically a big sac of blood. You don’t want to mess with a big sac of blood. Turns out, Brad had been bleeding internally for a couple of days. They rushed him to the OR, and the aneurysm ruptured while he was on the table. It took three surgeons, two anesthesiologists, four nurses, a perfusionist, and SIX LITERS of blood to save his life. Deep breath. My husband and my daughters’ father is alive. The hospital staff nicknamed him “The Miracle Man.” Apparently, if he hadn’t been open on the table at the very minute that artery ruptured, he would have died in minutes. God’s hands were at work that night. I’ve spent a long time learning what to do when a tragedy strikes your life. This is what I do in a crisis. I’ve had a few too many, I think. Maybe these will help you. 1.  First, cry out to God. Sometimes it’s as simple as “Dear God help!” and that’s ok. He’s there. And He already knows. “Please, God, rescue me! Come quickly, Lord, and help me.” ( Psalm 70:1 ) 2. Next, just get rational. Figure out what needs to be done and do it. Call 911, help him breathe, etc. Put the emotions in the box and deal with the emergency. God gave us a great capacity for emotion—but also for rational thought. Use it. “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” ( James 1:5 ) 3. “Just keep swimming.” Don’t let your mind run with future implications. Just put one foot in front of the other and walk. Not even one day at a time—one moment at a time. Sometimes trusting in God means doing what’s right there in front of you. “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” ( Deuteronomy 31:6 ) 4. Lean on friends and family. Ask for help. You are not “fine” and that’s ok. Don’t try to be fine. God gave us each other for a reason—and people who love you want to DO something. Let them. You need it—and they do too. Think about how Paul told the churches to support one another. That’s practical—not just in prayer or thought. “But even though my condition tempted you to reject me, you did not despise me or turn me away. No, you took me in and cared for me as though I were an angel from God or even Christ Jesus himself.” ( Galatians 4:14 ) 5. Don’t be alone. Don’t. Coordinate people to be with you at all times. You are NOT bothering them. Remember that love casts out fear. Let people show you love. “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” ( 1 John 4:18 ) 6. After the crisis, rest. Stress and fear ravage your physical and emotional health. There’s a reason  Psalm 23:4 is in the Bible—let Him lead you into green pastures and restore your soul.   I read Psalm 91 to Brad when he was screaming with pain in the emergency room. It’s been my favorite since I was a child, and my strength during suffering. I still read it, pray it, speak it, and sing it nearly every day. Let me leave you with it right now. Meditate on the love and protection our Heavenly Father promises. Psalm 91 1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 This I declare about the Lord:He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. 3 For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. 4 He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. 5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. 6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. 7 Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. 8 Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. 9 If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, 10 no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. 11 For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. 12 They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. 13 You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! 14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. 15 When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. 16 I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”   May the God of peace and all comfort give you strength and wisdom, no matter what you’re facing today. Much love, Brie

Hello Roger, You have mentioned you lost a child. I am a 42 year old wife of four years. My now husband lost his daughter in a car accident two years before we met. She was seventeen and I never knew her. He never wants to talk about it but yet the house is full of pictures of her and her room is exactly the way she left it with folded clothes on the bed. If I bring anything up I feel like I’m trespassing into his life. I have been supportive at graveside visits and have made Christmas Wreaths and have went out of my way to be compassionate. I feel that if he moves on with his life by cleaning out the room he feels like he didn’t or doesn’t love her. I don’t know if he has any unresolved guilt or regrets. He holds on so tight to her that it paralyzes him in so many ways. As his wife should I step in and clean out the room. To help him the way he is not able to help himself. Or should I just leave it alone and hope eventually it will work itself out?? It has been six years now since her death. Not really sure how to help him. Thank You! Terry Dear Terry, While your husband is acting a little strangely, six years is not a long time to still be dealing with all the emotional hurt and pain. In his case I would recommend not too be in too big of a hurry. Thirty-seven after we lost Jessie I still occasionally see Jessie's picture and think of what she would be like as a young woman and the thoughts bring tears to my eyes. After Jessie died, my wife Julie did not look at her picture or mention her until 17 years later. One day she just "broke" and out came so much hurt and pain. She wept for over an hour and a half. Seventeen years is a long time to bury such suffering. The best thing you can do is try to comfort him. Jesus says that those who hurt need comfort (Matthew 5). Tell him how sorry you are. Tell him that you feel deeply the hurt and pain he is enduring. These are words of comfort. There are six major stages that your husband will need to work through in order to be fully healed. The stages are: Shock Denial Grief Anger Depression Resolution These stages often occur in this order but they don't have to. In fact, they seldom do. We usually are working on one or more simultaneously. It sounds as if your husband is still in the shock and denial stage. He may be enduring depression as suggested by his behavior. You might ask him about the possibility of depression and get him to take a simple depression test (on line--takes about 3 minutes and instantly scored.) Many people work through all of the stages and get healed as they pick up the pieces of their lives and move on. Some, unfortunately, never get to step six and thus short circuit the healing process. My advice is to give him room and time to work through these stages. You might even mention them to him and help him to self diagnose which stage or stages he is in. You are probably right in some of your wonderings. He may have many regrets. He may struggle with his love for her. Maybe her death had something to do with a divorce. These issues will probably need some personal counseling. Pray that the day will come when he may be willing to deal with these issues in a positive way. I am sorry for his pain--and yours. I will pray that soon he will be emotionally restored and on the way toward many great days ahead. Let me know how well you and he are getting along. Love, Roger