How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 Finding God’s Strength Ryan Leak How cool is that?! We all just learned how to throw a curve ball from a Major League pitcher! There are many things in life that are very difficult to navigate that we just didn’t see coming. A pandemic A divorce A separation An addiction A layoff A sickness And sometimes it’s a combination of all of the above. How do most of us navigate tough times? SLIDE_________________________) Special Sermon Slide Picture of Zoom (logo) SLIDE_________________________) Special Sermon Slide Comfort Food (Picture of junk food in a pantry) SLIDE______________________) Special Sermon Slide Netflix (Logo) SLIDE_________________________) Special Sermon Slide 1 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 Online shopping (more logos) SLIDE_________________________) Special Sermon Slide Social Media (logos) And for some, alcohol is how they navigate tough times. Alcohol sales are up almost 300% during these quarantine days. For others, it might be drugs or pornography that is the pandemic navigator for them. SLIDE__________________________) Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” A strong tower is an elevated tower. Could it be that it is it so elevated, as to be high, or inaccessible for capture? I do not think that it is a stretch to come to this conclusion. One of the uses for towers in the Old testament is that they were used as fortresses in times of war. We’ve all got a tower we run to. The question we have to ask ourselves today is what have they done for us lately? I want you to know today that there’s a name you can call on today that can absolutely change your life if you let Him. There are many people in scripture who had to hit a curve ball. I want to look at one man today who had to do that. And I believe there’s a lot we can learn from the adversity and trials he faced in his life. His name is Paul. Paul wrote a few letters to the church of Corinth. Two of them are present in our Bible. The first one he sent (1 Corinthians) was addressing the many problems the church was having but It was rejected by most based off what Paul says about and to them in 2 Corinthians. So, 2 Corinthians, technically what scholars believe is the 3rd letter to the church of Corinth, has 3 main parts. The first 7 chapters is Paul reconciling with the Corinthians. Chapters 8 and 9 Paul is encouraging them to be 2 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 more generous. Chapters 10-13 Paul is challenging the remaining naysayers in Corinth who are still rejecting his teaching. These naysayers are very prideful and the word Paul uses frequently is boasting. So, Paul appeals to their ego and says… if you want to boast, we can play that game. The beginning of 2 Corinthians 12 Paul reveals to us that he had a heavenly vision where he himself didn’t know if he was taken up to heaven literally or just shown it, but in this letter he lets them know, hey, I was given revelations by God himself at His place. If anyone has bragging rights here, it’s me. And here’s what he says… SLIDE_____________________) 2 Corinthians 12:7-8 “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.” We don’t know what this was. Sages of the ages have speculated what this thorn was. We have no idea. But we do know how he felt about it. It was painful enough and important enough for Paul to bring it up to God. It’s a rather interesting request Paul would make to God about this thorn when you compare and contrast it to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11 where he was in the middle of his challenge and argument against naysayers who were boastful. He says this…. SLIDE_________________________) 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 “Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. 3 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.” And there are days when I think I have it rough. ha. No sir. Paul says if there’s anything he wants to boast about, it’s not going to be his accomplishments, but his weaknesses and his downfalls. He’s not laying this out for us to feel bad for him. He’s using it as a technique to illustrate humility. But when I see this list of things he endured, I think to myself… You were VERY specific about your persecution and what you’ve been through in chapter 11, but in chapter 12… it’s… “this”. What could be worst than what you just told us? Have you ever had a “this” that you’ve prayed about that you wouldn’t even tell your best friend about? Story of a friend who would pray at a tree and eventually stopped praying at the tree. I think God is inviting us all back to the tree. SLIDE___________________________) 2 Corinthians 12:8 “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.” SLIDE_____________________) 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you…’” 4 Has God ever told you no? How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 Have you ever prayed for something and your request was denied? You prayed for an outcome financially, relationally, and God just said… nope. I think Paul would make the argument to God… hey have I not proven my love & loyalty to the gospel in chapter 11? There are Christians who never endure 10% of what I’ve gone through, so don’t we think that I could be more useful to you and your kingdom without this… thorn. SLIDE______________________) 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” God’s response: how’d you get through chapter 11? How’d you make it through 39 lashes from the jews 5 times? How’d you endure prison? How’d you stand to your feet after being beaten with rods and stoned? How’d you make it adrift at sea for 24 hours? How’d you survive poverty? Hey Paul, what in the world sustained you when you had a sleepless night? Might you be encouraged today to know… It was the amazing power and grace of God that brought you through chapter 11 and that same amazing grace is sufficient for your thorn in chapter 12. His grace is sufficient for a quarantine. HIs grace is sufficient for a pandemic. His grace is sufficient for your darkest hour and your darkest day. SLIDE ________________________) 2 Corinthians 12:9 “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 5 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 SLIDE_________________________) 2 Corinthians 12:10 “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Paul had an approach to hitting curve balls that we should adopt. Paul saw dark times as an opportunity for God’s light to shine brightest. We all want to see God’s strength on display. We all would love to see signs, miracles, and wonders. But we don’t get to see any of that without going through something. I have a one point sermon today that answers one question. SLIDE____________________) How do we find strength in God? The answer is profound and will blow your mind. Invitation. SLIDE_______________________________) Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Whether I’m sitting with leaders & executives, students, young adults, married couples, or athletes, the biggest mistake I see people make is attempting to fix their own problems with their own understanding. One of the greatest spiritual disciplines we can have is fighting the “I got this” mentality. What if we don’t… got this? What if we invited an able and willing God to… help us. Have you invited God to give you His strength? Have you invited God to give you his perspective? Our prayer this week should go from…. 6 How to Hit a Curveball Week 3 May 1/3, 2020 Deliver me from this. Save me from this. Help me escape from this… To… Meet me in this. Give me strength in this. Make me better in this. I had a guy who’s heard me speak a lot see me at a Mavs game. In my mind, the Mavs won the NBA championship this year. But we’re all entitled to our opinion I guess. So I see this guy at a Mavs game and he stops me, and paid me a very high compliment. He said, I’ve heard you speak several times and I just really look up to you. I said, man that’s very kind of you. He said, no man, you don’t understand. I wish I had your strength. You seem like a strong man of God and I just wish I had your strength. I’m thinking my strength? Be not deceived my friend, I appreciate the compliment, but what you see standing before you is not a display of my own will and strength. I’m just a man who’s called on God when he was a boy when his dad had a stroke in 5th grade. Close with Story of the first time I remember finding God’s strength. When life gets turned upside down, we might try to solve our problems on our own or turn to food, shopping, or an addiction for comfort and strength. But those places never take us where we want to go. The best thing we can do is turn to a willing and able God who can strengthen us in ways we never imagined. Preached at Chase Oaks Church.

One - A Blessing of Hope May the God of peace, the eternal One and only God, grant you an awareness of his immediate return. May you be patient, may you be eager, but most of all may you be found ready when he calls. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:8, NIV Two - A Blessing of Grace Today, may you go in the grace and peace and the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. May the grace he has given you be the grace that you share with others. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing.” Galatians 2:20-21, NIV Three - A Blessing for Protection May the God of peace and grace and truth be your guide as you begin your day. May he go ahead of you and prepare the way. May he come behind you and protect you. May he surround you and make you aware of his presence. “I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.” Ephesians 3:16-17 Four - A Blessing for Daily Worship Today, may you be aware that worship is a way of life — it’s not just a once a week event. May your worship never cease. May you continue living in the Father’s presence, and may you continue being thankful for what he has done. “Shout to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with joy; come before him with singing. Know that the Lord is God. He made us, and we belong to him; we are his people, the sheep he tends. Come into his city with songs of thanksgiving and into his courtyards with songs of praise. Thank him and praise his name. The Lord is good. His love is forever, and his loyalty goes on and on.” Psalm 100 Five - A Blessing for Encouragement May you know the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ today. Let his spirit overshadow and consume you. I pray that it gives you strength and courage and focus in everything you do today. “God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient. And you will joyfully give thanks to the Father who has made you able to have a share in all that he has prepared for his people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1: 11 Six - A Blessing for Conviction As your day begins, may the Father’s blessing be upon you. Be his quiet and holy representative. Be the one who takes a stand for that which is right. Be the one who reminds the world of what really matters in our world. Be the voice of God and the promise of eternity. “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 Seven - A Blessing for Guidance May the Spirit which lives within you guide and convict you. Remember the message which brought you to him. Let it be the message you share with others. May peace and power be yours today. “I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 Eight - A Blessing of Anticipation In everything you do today, may your spirit be one of eager expectation and patient trust. Eagerly expect your Father to return any minute, but patiently trust him to do what is right. “Our homeland is in heaven, and we are waiting for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven.” Philippians 3:20 Nine - A Blessing for the Soul May the song within you which sings for eternity, sing loudly. Heed the songs of heaven. Dismiss the songs of earth. May the Father quiet the voices around you which tell you to settle for less than what he promises. “Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Ten - A Blessing for Eternity Look for the Father’s face today. Seek him. Search for him. Pursue him. And may what you see cause you to long for the day you see him eternally. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In God’s great mercy he has caused us to be born again into a living hope, because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Now we hope for the blessings God has for his children. These blessings, which cannot be destroyed or be spoiled or lose their beauty are kept in heaven for you.” 1 Peter 1:3-4 maxlucado.com.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) She had the most angelic sweetheart lips. Eyes as blue as the most tranquil oceans. Blonde ringlet curls. Chubby cheeks begging to be kissed over and over. Little hands that instinctively curled around my finger while simultaneously melting my heart. Pure sweetness wrapped in a pink blanket. And then came the day this little creature pursed those lips, gripped the toy in her hand, tilted her pigtailed head and screamed, “Mine! Mine! Mine!” The fuss was over a small red toy my friend had let her borrow, my friend who was much more organized than I am. She’d brought along toys and baggies of Cheerios to keep the kids entertained during our coffee date. The plan to use this toy as temporary entertainment had worked beautifully. Until it was time to go. I could feel a burning flush of embarrassment rush from my chest to my face. Of course, my friend’s child was shining her halo with one hand while happily handing over her yellow toy with the other. “Mine! Mine!” My daughter screamed as every eye in the small restaurant stared at me. I pried the toy from her hand, thanked my friend, and hoisted my kicking and screaming daughter out of the wooden highchair. And then, in slow motion, I watched her knock my paper coffee cup from my hand and send it careening across the floor, splattering coffee on all those near us. I felt my fragile identity as a mom melt into the puddle of spilled coffee. What happened to my angel? My beautiful daughter was … not so angelic. It’s been many years since that day in the coffee shop. But oh, how I wish I could go back and sit with my inexperienced mommy self on the drive home. I would say, “Your daughter is a child in need of a parent. She needs to be taught. And some of your best teaching opportunities will come when she puts her sin nature on display. Don’t fear or fret or feel like this is some sort of failure on your part. Her outside demonstrations are an internal indication of her need for guidance. So guide her. Love her. And always remember to be the parent. Not her friend. Not her buddy. The parent.” I needed to know what Proverbs 22:6 teaches: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” That daughter is 26 years old now. And she’s an absolute delight. But growing her up wasn’t always easy. There were many more times when she put her sin nature on display, and each time I had to choose to be the parent. It’s not easy to be the parent. It seems less and less popular to tell kids no. As parents, we need to set biblical boundaries, teach our kids the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations, draw lines between what’s appropriate and inappropriate for language and entertainment, model manners, and show them what it looks like to seek a life of godliness, not just religious activity. Glory knows I’ve been so imperfect with all this. But holding the line on being the parent, even when done imperfectly, is good. All of these hard parenting moments will be worth it. Even in those seasons where you feel as if your children are doing the opposite of what you’ve taught them. All that parenting is in them, and the fruit of it will emerge one day. Yes, be the parent. Teach biblical truths. Stand strong in saying no, even when it’s not the popular choice. That’s what our kids need so desperately. And be encouraged, friend … you’re doing better than you think you are. Dear Lord, You know better than all of us that parenting is hard. Help us to see each day as a teaching opportunity to raise up children who love You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. lysaterkeurst.com .

The widely stated notion “all sin is alike to God” is not grounded in Scripture. Yes, all sin is bad, separates us from God, and is deserving of God’s wrath. All sin crucified Jesus, and He freely offers His grace because no sin is beyond the reach of God’s grace. But it’s a myth that every sin is exactly the same to God. Think of what 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body” (CSB). Note the clear distinction between “every other sin” and “the person who is sexually immoral.” There is something qualitatively different about sexual sin. (Why? Because as I explore in my book The Purity Principle, sex is not just something you do; sex is someone you are.) Think also of Proverbs where the seven deadly sins are singled out, and the New Testament elder qualifications which list out some sins that disqualify men from church leadership. Scripture is clear on the fact that there is greater judgment on some sins than others. All unbelievers will stand before Christ for judgment. This judgment includes “the dead, great and small” (Revelation 20:12), and Paul says that “on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed…he will render to every man according to his works…for those who are factious and do not obey the truth, but obey wickedness, there will be wrath and fury” (Romans 2:5-7). There will be degrees of punishment for those who reject Christ. The dead were (actually, will be, but this is said in a prophetic past tense) judged “by what they had done” (Revelation 20:12, 13). This judgment requires an evaluation of the works people have done, and clearly people have done different kinds of works—not all are the same. Jesus says, “And that servant who knew his master’s will, but did not make ready or act according to his will, shall receive a severe beating. But he who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, shall receive a light beating” (Luke 12:47-48). Jesus said to the cities of Chorazin and Bethsaida, “But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you.” (Matthew 11:22). In verses 23 and 24 He said, “And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you.” Jesus said the scribes “will receive the greater condemnation” (Luke 20:47). He also said some people will be “beaten with many blows” and others “beaten with few blows” (Luke 12:47–48). In my mind all these passages unmistakably indicate that there will be degrees of punishment. (How else would you interpret the meaning of these verses?) Every wrong deed done will be remembered and taken account of: “On the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter” (Matthew 12:36). Every word spoken, every deed done will be brought to light and receive judgment: “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:14). On judgment day the secrets of people’s hearts will be revealed and made public. Paul speaks of the day when “God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus” (Romans 2:16; compare Luke 8:17). “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops” (Luke 12:2-3). The old question of whether Hitler will have exactly the same judgment in Hell as your average sinner seems to be addressed in these passages. Of course, that is not great comfort, since hell is hell, but it is a vindication of God’s justice, and He is perfectly just and good. www.epm.org .

I love to run—with friends, alone, on a trail, anytime, anywhere. I love the challenge and the press of reaching new milestones and levels of exertion, so I know what it’s like to hit a wall. It’s that roadblock moment mid-run that’s actually a form of a collapse of the entire system: body and form, brains and emotion. Your legs feel like concrete, your breathing becomes labored, and you begin to shuffle. It’s where the brain works fine, but the legs up and quit. When you hit a wall, you have two choices: keep going even though you feel your strides shift into small steps, or give into all the negative thoughts flooding your mind and stop. Your body is responding to the press—and it’s telling you it needs the energy to overcome. Sometimes, in pursuit of our purpose and destiny, we hit a wall, too. Where once we were full of energy and faith, we suddenly realize we’re not moving forward as fast as we once were. And the wall begins to talk to us night and day:  “You cannot get over me, you cannot get around me, you cannot get through me.” Whatever our wall is, it’s in those moments that we have a critical decision to make. We can cave into discouragement and all the negative thoughts and quit. Or, we can look to the Lord who knows the solutions and how to bring down even the toughest walls.  He proved he can in Joshua 6 when the children of Israel hit the mother of all walls—the walls of Jericho. Jericho was a city inside the Promised Land  with walls made of heavy, mud bricks—30 feet at its highest, 5 feet at its thickest. And it looked just as impossible to them as your wall does to you. But impossible is what God does ( Mark 9:23 ). To bring down the wall, God instructed them to:  “March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days.   Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in” ( Joshua 6:3-5 ). And it worked.  “By faith, the walls of Jericho fell after the people had marched around them for seven days” ( Hebrews 11:30 ). God wants your wall to come down as much as you do, but it will require faith—just like it did for the Israelites.   When the walls did fall, it was after seven days of preparation—of God working in them and through them. Let him do the same in you. Let him use these five steps to build your faith and bring down your walls. 1. LOOK UP AND FALL DOWN. Before the children of Israel marched around the city, Joshua was surveilling the walls, and as he looked up, Jesus appeared to him as a man of war ( Joshua 5 ). When Joshua realized who he was, he immediately fell face down in humility and surrender.  Like Joshua, look up and see the one who can give you a plan. Then fall face down letting go and giving all the control to God, trusting him. 2. WILLINGLY OBEY. Jesus will give you a plan, so make sure you’re prepared for unconventional instructions and unconditional obedience.  Marching around a city, blowing horns and shouting had no military value, but it worked. I have discovered that strange plans call for strong faith, but we can always trust what God tells us to do. 3. WALK AND DON’T TALK. Even though God promised Jericho would be delivered into their hands, they had to keep walking—they had to take the first step of faith and continue for seven days in silence ( Joshua 6:2 ).  Sometimes we have to keep walking in the right order, along the right path, for the right amount of time—even when nothing changes. Like the Israelites, we have to learn patience and diligence—and see the victory by faith before we experience it.  God wants us to see his promise to us as bigger than the obstacle we’re facing. 4. REMEMBER GOD IS IN YOUR MIDST. When the Israelites marched, the priests led the march carrying the Ark of the Covenant which represented the presence of God. Having the Ark out front was God saying,  “I am leading the charge.”  It was God who made all the difference at Jericho, and it’s God who will make all the difference in your life.  It does not matter how big your wall is, God is with you, and no wall is too big for him. He is fighting for you! 5. JUST TAKE ANOTHER LAP. With each lap the Israelites took, the walls did not get smaller—but they kept taking laps anyway. So don’t grow weary in your well doing, even when you feel like you’re in a holding pattern ( Galatians 6:9 ).  Every lap you make around your walls is strengthening your faith, because there’s power in doing the same thing over and over. It’s the process God uses to build your faith muscles.  Even though God tore down the walls at Jericho, the people still had to march, shout and take the city. So keep putting your faith in action and take another lap. Yes, God could have knocked the walls of Jericho down the first day, but he had a bigger purpose in mind. He wanted the people to grow in their faith, to keep going regardless of how they felt, to look to him to tear down the walls. And that’s what he wants from you too—even when your stride slows down to a shuffle. So keep going. Keep believing. Keep propelling forward. Your wall is coming down. propelwomen.org

She walks ‘with’ fear, but she does not live ‘in’ fear.  At nineteen, Anna’s story is less a story and more a most wrenching tale penned of blistering heartache, seemingly unscalable disadvantages, improbable misfortune handily spun on the loom of all things unjust, and hope ground to powder only to be blown away on the ever-restless winds of adversity.  She has known nothing other and she lives presuming that the tale of her life will continue to be penned in similar lines such as these.  And while she wishes that her faith were sufficiently stalwart to thwart all fear, she is honest enough to admit that such a faith is a work in progress.  And so, she walks ‘with’ fear, but she does not live ‘in’ fear. Her health is delicately precarious, leaving each moment she lives as a hope but not a promise.  Her life is an existence of individual moments lived out with the hope that if enough of them are accumulated and stitched together they might possibly stretch out into a future.  The physical challenges of each day render every tomorrow as something so far away that it may never arrive.  And while she wishes that her faith were sufficiently stalwart to thwart all fear of a tomorrow never coming, she is honest enough to admit that such a faith is a work in progress.  And so, she walks ‘with’ fear, but she does not live ‘in’ fear.  And it is in seizing the good in fear that we beat fear. The Hidden Opportunity in Fear In sitting with this delicate but powerful young woman, I have found that Anna has learned that the best way that she could walk ‘with’ fear but not live in ‘it’ was to turn her attention to seeking out and seizing the immense opportunities that lie within it, rather than allowing it to seek out and seize the confidence within her.  She discovered that fear animates itself and enlarges its aura sufficiently to keep our focus on fear.  That fear stealthily hides its hidden treasures by keeping us fearful and therefore allowing us to see nothing else but fear.  And she has discovered that fear is deliberate enough in executing this terribly refined strategy that we become convinced that fear is made up of nothing but fear.  Anna admits that she walks ‘with’ fear, but she does not live ‘in’ fear. And she is able to walk ‘with’ it but not ‘in’ it because she decided to look beyond the fear to what great good fear can do.  Behind the ‘fear of fear’ she has discovered a rich cache of opportunity for improbable growth.  That fear is the catalyst for growth, not the opponent of growth.  That fear is not the monster that destroys, for that is the distortion that fear lures us into and the tale that frightened people tell of it.  That the implicit nature of fear is such that it surgically seeks out the nature of our existence that is contrary to our existence.  That behind the façade of fear there is great good.  And in the oddity of it all, it is the ‘great good’ encased in fear that, when released, can be a potent solution to that very fear.  Therefore, we walk ‘with’ fear as a means of releasing these solutions into our lives so that in time we can walk with the solutions and live without the fear. The Great Good – Breaking The Nature of Our Existence That is Contrary to Our Existence Fear is the thing that deftly exposes the shallowness of our petty attitudes.  It renders the constructs that we have built our lives upon as the epitome of selfishness and the bedfellow of ignorance, thereby granting us sufficient understanding to effectively change them.  Fear strips us of the preconceived notions of ‘who we are’ that we have tediously constructed based on the fear of ‘who we actually are.’  Fear brings unprecedented collapse to the permissive morality that we have created in order to grant us permission to do all things immoral.  Fear exposes the things that we have ‘lived for’ so that we can flee the things that we were ‘born for.’  Fear takes our lives out of our hands and shows us that they were never in our hands to begin with.  And most profoundly, fear shows us that our fear persists because we have sought out refuge in some person or institution that is at the very same time attempting to find refuge for themselves.  For the only Person Who is His own refuge in order to be ours is God. Therefore, we walk ‘with’ fear as a means of releasing these solutions into our lives so that in time we can walk with the solutions and live without the fear. Yes.  Anna walks ‘with’ fear, but she does not live ‘in’ fear.  She has not fallen for the façade of fear and therefore she has not fallen to fear.  And in embracing these precious lessons, a tomorrow is on the way where she will not walk ‘with’ fear any longer. Conclusion I wish I could tell you that I don’t fear, because at times I do.  But because I do, I will seize it and wrestle the riches out of it.  I will take what I need from it, rather than letting it take what it wants from me.  And this is a time to let the lessons of our fears change the trajectory of our lives.  This is the time to work through our fear by letting its lessons work through our lives until we have vanquished it from our lives.  Therefore, I walk ‘with’ fear as a means of releasing these solutions into my life so that in time I can walk with the solutions and live without the fear. Like Amy, I wish that my faith were sufficiently stalwart to thwart all fear, but I am honest enough to admit that such a faith is a work in progress.  And so, I walk ‘with’ fear, but I do not live ‘in’ fear.  And someday soon, I will do neither.

So, in light of everything that’s changed and been disrupted so far in 2020, what future church trends should you be watching as a leader? I usually do a church trends post every January, but with the almost surreal events of 2020 unfolding as they have, it’s time to rethink what’s ahead again. Hence, a fresh post outlining 7 trends to watch. Crisis, after all, is not just a disruptor, it’s an accelerator. Some of the changes that were likely arriving in 5-10 years (like the normalization of remote work) arrived in days. The shift from facility-centered ministry to home-based ministry happened in hours. And while there will be a return to some version of normal, normal as we knew is likely gone, at least for a while.  It’s hard to go back to normal when normal disappeared. And because the future is unkind to the unprepared, the best thing a leader can do is prepare. Disruption is hard because disruption is inconvenient. It’s far easier to keep doing what you’re doing, hoping for better results, or going back to normal as quickly as possible to regain what you’ve lost. The good news is that leaders who embrace change, who find the energy, passion and time to keep pivoting, will likely end up  advancing  their mission in the future. So what are the new 2020 church trends you should watch in what is shaping up to be a very pivotal year? Here are 7. Let me just say I hope I’m wrong on some of them, but I’m including them because I think they’re happening. As I’ve had to remind myself as a leader and Christ-follower for decades, just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I don’t like all these trends either, but that doesn’t mean they’re not happening. The best question to ask in a time of disruption is, “What does this make possible?” There’s a lot that’s possible for the future church. 1. THE CHURCH WILL FURTHER CONSOLIDATE AS IT EXPANDS This is a tough trend to handle, so let’s just start here. Despite a reported  initial surge in online attendance and subsequent slump,  new polling by the Barna Group shows a rather surprising reality. 48% of churchgoers say they have not watched any church online in the last 4 weeks. Let that sink in for a minute. Almost half of all churchgoers haven’t done any online or in-person church in a month. Double clicking on that information yields another insight. Only 40% of churchgoers report watching their  regular  home church online. A rather surprising 23% said they streamed a  different  church (either in place of their regular church or in addition to their regular church).   What does this mean? Well, as hard it is to hear, the data suggests that even regular attenders are either not connecting with their church right now or starting to experiment with different options. Don’t be quick to blame online church. Crisis is an accelerator, and  for decades the trend has been for even committed Christians to attend less often . The chaos and dislocation of the crisis may simply be amplifying that long-standing trend. Stay with me though for a minute more. We also know that as of late May 2020, 29% of churches are still reporting an attendance  jump  over previous levels. So…the fact that 29% of churches are seeing an attendance spike and 23% of Christians say they are watching a church other than their home church might mean further consolidation is happening. What exactly does ‘consolidation’ mean? It means the churches that  are  growing and picking up people from churches that  aren’t  growing. This has been happening for decades with the disappearance and decline of small and mid-sized churches and the growth of large churches and  mega-churches. And while growing churches are definitely reaching unchurched people, they have also been picking up Christians from other churches. That trend might well be accelerating during the disruption. Consolidation of the book market happened in the 1990s as independent bookstores went out of business as major chains like Barnes and Noble, Borders and even Walmart, Costco and Target took chunks out of their market share. Then, of course, Amazon emerged and took a chunk out of all the big box stores. Similarly, General Motors consolidated after the Great Recession as it got rid of Pontiac, Saturn, Saab and Hummer to focus on fewer products. In the future,  the  Church will prevail, but not  every  church will prevail. The crisis may be accelerating a trend that’s already happening. So where’s the hope in this? First, smaller and mid-sized churches will have to find their niche. As I wrote about in my original church trends post for 2020,  the middle is disappearing from culture as it is , so being focused on your community and the people you love and want to reach is a great place to start. As large churches become larger, no one should be able to out-local the local church. I have more ideas on that  in Trend 5 here . Second, digital isn’t only the purview of large churches. You  don’t have to have a big budget  to have a big impact online. Everyone you want to reach in your region is online. When you behave like that’s true, you stand a much better chance of reaching them. In the future, the Church will prevail, but not every church will prevail. The crisis may be accelerating a trend that already happening.CLICK TO TWEET 2. THE RETURN TO CHURCH MIGHT NOT BE THE RUSH LEADERS HOPE FOR As tempting as it will be to reopen the doors and believe everyone is coming back, the data (right now) shows that’s probably not the case. To begin, social distancing makes full rooms impossible and, until it’s safe to do mass gatherings, unwise. Full rooms are months away, if not longer. Second, a recent related poll of thousands of church leaders facilitated by Gloo, showed people have little consensus around when they feel ‘safe’ to gather again in public. Asked which other type of activity BEST signals to you that it is time to open in-person worship at the church, the most common answer was a  low community level of COVID cases (21.5%) . Other responses included when: Social distancing and stay home guidelines are lifted: 17% Local businesses are open: 14% Local restaurant seating areas are open: 8% Testing is widely available and utilized: 6% Schools are open: 4% Vaccine available: 3% But the following results also speak volumes: 15% said they would only return when all the conditions are met (low cases, businesses open, restrictions lifted, vaccine available). 10% admitted they just weren’t sure. Essentially, 25% either aren’t sure or aren’t coming back for a long time. An additional 30% of respondents said they’d rather worship at home and only return when they can be mask-free at church. Combine that with trend #1 (48% aren’t doing anything right now and 23% are connecting with other churches), and the picture is very different than most leaders would hope for. I know, that’s not encouraging, but it’s both real and understandable. So what do you do? First, you can  poll  your  congregations on these exact questions (for free) and add a few questions of your own,  by creating your own (free) Return to Church Checkin here . Then you won’t have to guess. Second, prepare yourself for the emotional let down of a staggered and less than optimal return. I know what it feels like to be hoping for a full room in normal conditions and seeing empty seats. That may be the reality for a while to come. My guess is a lot of leaders are struggling with the lack of ‘normal’ more deeply than they realize. Get counselling, talk to a friend, pray and prepare yourself for a longer period of disruption that you want. That’s what leadership requires sometimes. Finally, focus on your mission and rethink your methods. You’re not ‘locked’ into what you’re doing now. Innovate. Experiment. Make your mission more important than your methods. Crisis may be an accelerator, but it’s also the cradle for innovations and breakthroughs. 3. CHURCHES WILL BECOME DIGITAL ORGANIZATIONS WITH PHYSICAL LOCATIONS  I never win popularity contests when I write about this, but I’m going to keep going. It’s just too important to ignore. Growing churches in the future will become digital organizations with physical expressions, not physical organizations with a digital presence. The difference in this trend is as stark as JC Penny and Amazon. JC Penny (which recently filed for Chapter 11), like Sears and ToysRUs, were physical retailers that slowly adapted an online presence, behaving like most people still wanted an in-person experience. Amazon, of course, started as a digital retailer that gradually moved into physical stores. What’s surprising is that sometimes the digital connections have been as or more meaningful than the in-person connections. I realize there will be many who push back against this, but it’s foolish to ignore the fact that people connect more easily online and often admit the truth more readily online than they do in-person (that might not be right, but, as  this Stanford research shows , it is often true). To put digital church back on the shelf in the new normal is to ignore the greatest opportunity the church today has to reach people. Seeing digital as optional really does mean your church will end up  like malls in the age of Amazon , just hoping for people to show up again. And it also ignores the fact that many will want digital to be at least an option, if not a preferred method of engagement where geography and other barriers prevent access. Forget the fact that for the moment, everyone is Zoomed out and longing for human connection, and think about the past and the future. Digital isn’t going away. It will continue to grow and advance. Further, digital scales in a way that analog doesn’t. Online church transcends geographic, physical and time barriers in a way that analog doesn’t. Will we still have in-person, physical gatherings and services? Absolutely. But in the future church, if you care about people, you’ll care about digital church. 4. AGILITY WILL BECOME ONE OF YOUR MOST VALUABLE LEADERSHIP QUALITIES I realize trends like these can feel exhausting. Of all the qualities leaders will need in the future, agility is near the top of the list. The fact that you are still leading months into the pandemic is evidence you have this quality, which is amazing. But like a muscle, you have to hone and develop it. If there’s one prediction about the future that seems to be accurate, it’s that the dislocation and uncertainty we’re seeing now will continue. The new normal, whatever that is, is aways off. In an uncertain climate, flexibility is ability and agility is a super power. Agility will matter more in the future because the ‘innovation’ that happened in the first few months of lockdown wasn’t really innovation. It was adaptation. Quick pivots, regular experimentation and the ability to respond to a rapidly changing culture will be critical. While your mission will never change, your methods will have to. To help with that, I’ve put together a team training on agility called  The 30 Day Pivot . It’s the exact framework I’ve used to pivot regularly in my leadership (especially since the crisis) and it will help you leverage change quickly to help you advance your mission amidst all the change happening. You can learn more  here . Agility is a key quality for future leaders, because, as they say, if you don’t like change, you’ll like irrelevance even less. 5. VIRTUAL AND FLEXIBLE STAFF TEAMS WILL BE THE NEW NORMAL In the same way church went digital overnight, staff teams for churches and corporations did too. I talked to a number of CEOs over the last week (who tend to be far more bottom-line driven than church leaders) who said as hard as the adjustment was for their teams to become virtual overnight, they’re not going back to the way it was before. Some may close their offices and become entirely remote. Others will simply scale back things like square footage and travel along with the instance that everyone come in every day. Twitter and Facebook both recently announced that employees can work from home indefinitely regardless of when the lockdown or social distancing ends. Gallup has discovered  many workers have a growing appetite for working from home as much as possible. It’s the beginning of a new era for work. Translate that for church leaders. As inefficient as working from home might seem now (kids hanging off you, everyone signing into Slack for the first time and not quite sure how Asana works), one day the kids will be back in school and novel tools will be normal tools, and then the real efficiency of flexible and remote work will start to kick in. Prior to the disruption, there was already an emerging trend that saw your most talented young employees asking for the most flexibility: To work from home, coffee shops or to flex their hours. That will only accelerate. The future workplace for churches and businesses will be flexible workplaces: With an array of in-person and remote teams. Again, move ahead five months, and begin to think about hiring the ideal Exec Pastor you’ve been wanting to hire for a long time who doesn’t want to move. Bringing him or her on board as staff and flying them in a few times a year suddenly looks far more feasible than it did even a month ago. And with Zoom and video calls normalized now, you won’t feel nearly as distant as you would have earlier in having team members join meetings remotely. On future teams, insisting that everyone show up in person will become a competitive  disadvantage . 8-4 stopped working years ago. Now it’s broken beyond repair. The future workplace is the flexible workplace. 6. SPIRITUAL FORMATION WILL SHIFT FROM FACILITY-BASED TO HOME-BASED One of the most exciting trends to emerge so far is to see churches focus on everyday ministry, not just Sunday ministry. With a slow return to church and the shift to digital church as the default, many church leaders will realize their focus in ministry will have to shift from their facilities to people’s homes. In many ways, this is a solid theological move, as well. To have people assume responsibility for their own spiritual growth, for evangelism, discipleship and even leadership of their own families can only be a good thing. An unspoken assumption of the old model of church was that to ‘grow,’ you had to come to a facility and participate in a program or service. In the future, church leaders will see themselves more as equippers, helping people bring their faith more deeply into the homes, neighborhoods and workplaces. In some strange way, this is what many church leaders have longed to see but not really seen, and in part it might be because the focus has been on getting people to come to a building to grow, not on equipping them where they are.  Mark Sayers has a lot of thoughtful things to say about this trend on his  Rebuilders Podcast . Think of it as an application of something you’ve been trying to do for years through social media, online live events and even email marketing: Those forums have allowed you to show up in people’s lives every day, not just on Sundays. When it comes to discipleship and evangelism, every day is more important than Sunday. That trend will only accelerate in the future. If people live every day in need of hope and resources to live out their faith (or to find faith) every day, church leaders have to start coming alongside people every day. In the future, churches will shift their focus from Sunday to every day, because people need to find faith and live out their faith every day. 7. ON-DEMAND ACCESS WILL ECLIPSE LIVE EVENTS In many ways, this trend has already happened. It’s just few people are talking about it. In the 80s and 90s, TV shifted from live-viewing (you had to watch your fave show Thursday night at 9 or you missed it), to on-demand viewing, at first through VCRs, then TiVo and finally, through streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and Disney+. We’ve been an on-demand culture for a while. Except, most churches don’t behave that way. We push everything toward a live event, assuming that most people who access an experience will do so exactly when it happens. As Mike Todd of Transformation Church—which is reaching hundreds of thousands of people online each month—says, t he live experience represents a fraction of their total audience . So what should you do? Well, you probably have an archive. Some of you have an audio archive of MP3 messages. Some of you have a podcast. Others have years of YouTube videos or services captured in HD that sit on some website nobody visits. Leverage those. Just because your content isn’t brand new doesn’t mean it won’t be new to your audience. Especially a new audience. (And don’t flatter yourself…most of your church has no idea what you said last year, or last month. Neither does mine.) Here’s what’s true: You may have done your last family series two years ago, but I promise you families haven’t stopped having issues in the last 24 months (quarantine might make that series  way  more relevant). Your last money series may be exactly what someone needs to hear right now. That message you did on hope from the Psalms is exactly what someone feeling at the bottom needs right now. The amazing thing about email, social media and other online channels you have is you can repurpose and reuse content to meet people where they’re at and reach new people who have never met you. Not sure how to run campaigns like that of have a budget to hire staff to do it? Great older content  works . If you’re having trouble communicating with your kids, do you care that Gary Chapman’s  Five Love Languages  was written in the 90s? Nope. You don’t. You read it. It changes things. The key is to share these on weekdays and on other channels  throughout the week while you’re still directing people to what’s next and new on the weekend. People don’t care if a message is new nearly as much as they care if a message is great. Don’t believe this? How many times have you rewatched The Office or Friends?   POSITION YOURSELF TO THRIVE IN THE NEW NORMAL www.careynieuwhof.com .

How do I deal with the loneliness of social distancing and home quarantine? First, look at your loneliness—look at it differently . Take the time you now have on your hands to have more thinker moments, where you just switch off to the external and let your mind wander and daydream. These moments give the brain a rest and allow it to  reboot and heal , which increases your clarity of mind and ability to deal with a tough situation (which we all need right now!) So, be intentional about creating “thinker” breaks throughout your day by taking a few moments every day, or when you are feeling alone, to switch off and just daydream or meditate on Scripture. You can also use this time as a chance to build and repair relationships by talking on the phone rather than just texting, spending time healing from “hurry sickness”, observing the world around you again, and become a good listener—we are all going through stuff, so take the time to call someone or connect. Just listen and support them, and be there for them. A massive cure for loneliness is to get over yourself and reaching out in love. This not only helps you feel less lonely, but it also increases your chance of healing. How do I “turn my brain off” at night from worrying so I can sleep? The quality and quantity of your sleep is largely affected by your state of mind, so mind management is critical if you want to sleep well at night. Anxiety causes high beta activity,  but anxiety always has a cause,  so take the time to find the cause and you will help yourself switch into sleep mode at night. Embrace, process and re-conceptualize your thoughts! During the course of the day,  you need to self-regulate your thinking and choosing during the course of the day. Chaotic and toxic thoughts need to be embraced, acknowledged, isolated and compartmentalized in order to be processed and re-conceptualized in a healthy fashion—they should never be ignored or suppressed. You can do this proactively by getting into a regular 7-15-minute mind detox routine. Just 7-15 minutes a day of quieting your mind can improve your sleeping patterns because you are cleaning up the mental mess in your head and getting your mind right before bed, which helps your brain and body regenerate at night. Confession of sin and praise will help you greatly. Do not allow yourself to lie in bed panicking about not sleeping.  Instead, get excited and embrace the fact you are awake. Think that “this is going to be a nice, quiet time, where I am not bugged by texts, emails or people needing something. Think of something fulfilling you CAN accomplish. This excitement lowers your cortisol levels, balances the HPA axis (the “stress axis”) and makes stress work for you and not against you, activating your resilience and changing your genes in a good way. So, when you can’t sleep, develop a positive expectation mindset that this is a special time just for you, and you will use it wisely. This will help you get your panic under control and improve your health. A negative expectation mindset, however, is just going to damage your brain and make you feel worse—it’s not worth it! See my book  Think, Learn, Succeed   for more on this. I’m struggling to sleeping and to concentrate . How do I find peace while expressing my feelings? I cannot say this enough:  thoughts are real things with information and emotions , and if you try to suppress them or shove them “under the rug”, they will explode, and can damage your mental and physical health—including your ability to sleep and concentrate. These thoughts will come As I said above, you need to acknowledge how you feel and reconceptualize it: see it from another angle or perspective. You can only redesign your thoughts when you have acknowledged them! How do I talk to my children about the situation without scaring them, while making sure they are taking the right precautions like washing hands ? I don’t believe in pussyfooting around issues with children – they are smart and can read your body language. Remember,  50% of communication is non-verbal , and your children know when you are anxious or sad. Children between the ages of 2 to 10/11 don’t really have the language to express themselves either, so if you don’t help them express and process the anxiety they have picked up from you or others, they can embed it as toxic stress in their bodies— the more traumatized you become, the more they will become . I know that talking to them places huge responsibility on us as parents and guardians, and we definitely need to speak to them in the right way, but hey, that’s what we signed up for! So, my advice, based on 25 years of clinical practice and having four children of my own,  is to  be honest .  Explain what is going on at the level they are at, giving them just enough information (don’t go overboard) and tell them the adults are working on this. It may be a good idea to show them pictures of the virus, giving analogies that are age-appropriate. For example, “this virus is like a dangerous animal. You keep away from those as much as possible, and with the virus we have do that by washing our hands and staying indoors till they ‘catch it.’” How do we deal with and help with anxiety and angry outbursts from kids? Outbursts come from frustration, which comes from a lack of understanding and fear, so calm your children down by explaining what is going on, like I mentioned above.  But it is also important to remember that we are stuck together for longer than usual and this situation is new for everyone, so it is inevitable that we will get frustrated with each other. I recommend having different “spaces” in your home to deal with frustration and all the other emotions our children are dealing with right now—don’t be frightened or irritated. This is actually a blessing in disguise because you have a  great opportunity to teach your kids to learn how to process through the issues in their life, a skill they will carry into adulthood ! Allocate an area of your kitchen, for example, where your children can express their frustration in a safe and non-judgmental space. You may not always like what you hear, but you may need to hear it to help them. Set some basic rules, like no-one is allowed to physically touch anyone else in that space, no-one hurts anyone or calls anyone bad names there. When they come out that space, and when they are ready, hug them and tell them you love them. This will calm them down and is great for the mental health. Remember, God is in control. He will give you strength and wisdom for every situation you face!   www.drleaf.com .

Is your day consumed with regret from the past or fear of the future? Do you ever have times in your life when you say to yourself, “ Whew, where did the years go…” ? I have. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Maybe it’s because I have more responsibilities. Or maybe it’s because I–like most people–can struggle with being present in the present. What does that mean? Wherever you are…be all there”.  That’s an easy way of saying it, but a hard concept to put into practice–at times. On the other hand, however, it’s quite possible that there are some of you that do not struggle with this at all. In fact, for some of you, it’s hard to relate to not being present in the present. It could be that your personality is more bent to making the most of the time. It could be that you have truly learned to discipline yourself not to try and plan too much for the future, and so you don’t waste brain cells or energy figuring and framing. It could also be that you have accepted the past as the past, and something to learn from and to not let it burden you down in the moment. There are myriad other reasons why a person might not struggle with being present in the present, but suffice it to say that there are probably more of us who–at varying times in our lives–do. And maybe to those who do not at this moment, you will find this article helpful in the future. Is there any encouragement for those of us who do–at times–struggle with being present in the present? Glory…there is! “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16 In essence, one step to being more present in the present is to have clarity on the present. And so the apostle Paul instructs to: Be careful how you walk… Careful  simply means to process information by giving thought to or directing one’s attention to something (BDAG, 179). In other words, Paul is saying consider, weigh, process, and then proceed on your journey, your decision, or your day. The idea is that as you live, consider what you’re doing, i.e. be present! Thus, living is not careless, but considerate. It takes discipline to be considerate, but practically it’s worth our investment of time. Not as unwise, but wise… Unwise  means, one who lacks the power of proper discernment (BDAG, 144). In other words, being unwise is like being blind–to social cues, to self-awareness, to one’s own path, etc.  Wise  here means more than just the ability to know or understanding one’s own direction, but also to do it with God in mind. In other words, the wise person that Paul is referring to is one who recognizes that this life is really lived on a spiritual battlefield.  “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 Thus, to live carefully and wise is to acknowledge that there are evil forces in this world that seek our harm. They want to distract those who are following Christ with every form of temptation possible. The wise person recognizes this and carefully considers how he walks in this life. Making the most of your time… To make the most of your time means to redeem and to redeem means to exchange. In other words, one who is focused on redeeming their time is one who considers Paul’s previous words in Ephesians 4:22-24 :  “…that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”  Thus, one way of being present in the present is to exchange the lesser for the greater in life. To choose not to satisfy one’s own passions, desires, or selfish ambitions, but rather to choose the best for someone else, to invest in their life, in their betterment, and in their success. Don’t sacrifice the best on the altar of the acceptable. Because the days are evil… Essential Paul is saying that the culture they were in (as well as the culture that we are in) is characterized by being morally or socially worthless (BDAG, 851). In other words, the  reason  to be present in the present, to exchange the lesser for the greater, to make the most of the time is directly related to the evil that permeates the culture and its ability to distract from God’s best. In other words, Paul goes on to write immediately after verse 16 of chapter 5, “ So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”  In essence, not being present in the present, not focusing on the exchange of bad for good, and not making the most of our time distracts us from understanding the Lord’s will. To put it another way, not being present in the present is directly related to not being careful how we walk, to not being wise as to the spiritual nature of life, and therefore not redeeming the time. As this happens, how can one be surprised how muddled the Lord’s will seems to be clear in their life. And as a result, they are not present in the present. Life can take on much regret as the years pass by without due consideration to the way one redeems the time. Thus, being present in the present is stimulated by being careful how you walk, being spiritually aware and wise to the evil that permeates your culture through temptations, and exchanging the lesser things for the greatest things. It’s important to point out that God works all things for  good , and He can and will use your wasted and shameful acts and years for good. And so, start now…today. Consider your day now as one where you will be known by and have the experience of being careful how you walk, as one who is wise and who redeems the time. May we together be present in the present by being careful and wise as we redeem our time! Glory!

This has been an emotionally exhausting week for me. I spent several days back in my hometown of Biloxi, Mississippi, doing what I promised my grandmother I’d never do: moving her into a care home. In this case, there was no option. Two years after a devastating stroke, it simply wasn’t safe for her to be home. Even so, I was wrecked. Having to move some pictures from her walls at home to her new room, I was struck by the finality of it all. She won’t ever be coming home. I also winced at the indignity of it all. She insisted on her purse, as a proper Mississippi lady always does, but she had to be suspended in the air with straps to get her in and out of her hospital bed, because her legs no longer work. “This is,” I said, “just not the way it should be.” On the phone with my wife, I told her that I hoped that I die the way her father did, this year, suddenly, in seemingly good health, not like this. I didn’t want to contemplate being confined to a bed, dependent on others for everything from food to being turned to avoid bedsores. As I said those words, I was struck with what was at the root of all that: my pride and idolatry. I was reminded, once again, of what a hypocrite I am. I’ve spent my life, after all, arguing that human dignity does not consist in how “useful” one seems but in the image of God. I’d made that case, days before, in Washington D.C. arguing for the protection of unborn children. I’ve done the same in recent days regarding orphaned children with special needs, Middle Eastern Christian refugees escaping persecution, and trafficked women and girls. I believe that, for all of them, and I believe it for my grandmother. It’s just hard for me to believe it about myself. That’s because, when it comes to myself, I’m a recovering social Darwinist. I tend to judge my own worth by how “needed” I am—by what sermon I’ve preached, by what book I’ve written, by what legislation I’ve pushed forward, by how good a father I’ve been to my sons that day. I am accustomed to people seeing me as having a certain amount of “power”—for some that’s influence to get things done, for others it’s anointing to preach and teach God’s word. I tend to believe that that’s who I am. That’s why I said I didn’t want to be confined to a bed. I don’t want to be dependent. I want my children to see me, right through to the end, as Dad who can fix anything. I want my former students to still see me as offering wisdom and counsel. I want my wife to see me as the whirlwind of activity she married. I want my allies to see me as the joyful prophet, the social conservative with a social conscience. I want to be needed, and not needy. And that’s my problem. After encountering the risen Christ by the Galilean lakeside, the Apostle Peter heard a disturbing truth. “Truly, truly, I say to you when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted,” Jesus said. “But, when you are old, another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go” (Jn. 21:18). Peter was an activist. When Jesus was arrested, he drew his sword and tried to fight off the arresting armies (Jn. 18:10). Later, he boldly called the hostile crowd at Pentecost to repentance (Acts 2:14-26). He refused to yield when the authorities told him he couldn’t preach Christ. There he was, casting nets and bringing forth fish. But Jesus told him his end was what he feared the most. He would be carried to crucifixion. The same is true for all of us. The Israelites after the exodus grew tired of waiting for God. They molded a golden calf that could lead them forward with power. But God had another way. He drove them to dependence, to hunger for food only He could feed them with, so that they would know that “man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Deut. 8:3). That is not punishment; it is grace. Jesus taught his disciples to pray for “daily bread,” (Matt. 6:11) to know that every encounter with God should drive us to a realization of our own dependence on him—and on one another (it’s “our” daily bread; not “my” daily bread). Caring for the elderly ought to remind us that we are not defined by our activity. We are frail children of dust, and feeble as frail. All of us will be here one day. Even if we die suddenly, in a blaze of glory in our prime, rather than after years in a care home, we will still be here. We will, after all, all be skeletons one day, waiting for the voice of Jesus and the Spirit of God to give us breath. Caring for those we love should remind us that they have lost no “dignity.” This is still the person God used to shape and form us. And, along the way, it can remind us of what’s important—not all our doing but the simple truth that we are dependent children who need one another, and who need a Father, to live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). As I moved my grandmother’s things from her house, I leafed through her Bible, large-print King James Version, and noticed pages and pages of notes in one of my favorite books, that of the prophet Isaiah. Most of them were handwritten passages from the prophet—most of them related to the coming of the kingdom, the abolishing of the reign of death. My Ph.D. dissertation was in the area of eschatology. I’ve preached and taught Isaiah a thousand times. But something tells me, I won’t really understand it until someone has to feed me through a straw. Even so, Jesus says, “Come, follow me.”

“Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil and let us see what we are made of.”  —Charles Spurgeon I agree with Charles Spurgeon: Trials are indeed a revelation. They are meant to be our teachers, revealing our true condition. When we encounter trials, we have the choice of what kind of student we want to be. Despite my imperfections, I want to do life well. I have the power to choose whether tests and trials will serve as messengers or simply leave me looking messy. Continuing with the concept of trials as teachers, hear what Solomon had to share: “In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely God has appointed the one as well as the other” ( Ecclesiastes 7:14 NKJV ). When life is going well, it’s easy to be joyful. However, when life is difficult, we resort to complaining—at least, I do. This is a common response in times of trial, but here we are challenged to have a fresh perspective regarding adversity. Solomon encouraged us to pause and consider—because when considering adversity, there is always more than meets the eye. Citing Spurgeon on trials once again, he shared,  “I’ve learned to kiss the wave that slammed me into the rock.” He is not referring to a rocky coastline but Christ the rock. Each day is a new opportunity to determine how we will respond to life’s waves. Learning to “kiss the wave” means that we appreciate the lessons to be learned and the growth that results as we allow God to have His way in and through the chisel of adversity. If we become defensive, then any issue that comes to light will remain a problem. If we humble ourselves, then the trial allows the Holy Spirit to increase our depth and therefore our capacity for godliness. Depth cannot be purchased—it must be pursued. It comes when we are brave enough to be honest. In that sense, depth is more like a muscle that is developed through consistent use. The challenges of life reveal what we are made of without undermining who we are. Trials position us to grow more Christlike and therefore unshakable. They clear the ground and remove what impedes future growth. These encounters serve to refine and prepare us for future potential. Trials are indeed teachers. What type of student will you be?

Know that Loneliness is a State of Mind, Not a Life Sentence Loneliness is depression resulting from an inability to cope with the fact of life that this side of heaven every one of us has times when our yearnings to be heard and understood and appreciated by another human are not met. Realizing the loneliness is normal and accepting the fact that you can’t feel love and fulfilled all the time, can make periods of loneliness more tolerable. Learn How to Like Yourself It is usual for people who dislike themselves to wrongly imagine that other people will also dislike them. Expecting to be disliked and rejected, they tend to withdraw from people, thus perpetuating their loneliness. Work to break the bondage of chronic loneliness by remembering your worth is not found in the perception of others but in your Heavenly Father’s unending love for you. Avoid Dependency on Another Human for Your Own Happiness To put responsibility for your happiness in someone else’s hand is a scary thought, unless that person happens to be always available, never fails, never changing yet never boring, all-wise, all-powerful, immortal, and is always unselfishly devoted to maximizing your long-term happiness. People, not matter how well intentioned and loving they are, can disappoint and fail to meet our every need. Much of the pain of loneliness is nothing more than pining for things that only God can ever give. Hoping to find these qualities in a human, rather than in God, is like hoping to find refreshment in a mirage. Instead of craving for substitutes, go for your best and always faithful friend, God. Exercise & Take Care of Yourself A good, brisk walk several times a week can be surprisingly effective in picking up your spirits and making your world a whole lot brighter. It produces chemicals in the body which are natural antidepressants. Fake It Until You Make It No matter how unhappy you are, the very act of smiling triggers the brain to release chemicals that make you feel better. A smile also brightens your face, improving your looks better than almost any makeover. Moreover, smiling is a magnet that attracts people to you. People instinctively sidestep a person whose unsmiling face suggests he or she might be grumpy or angry or preoccupied. It makes them wary, heightening their own fear of rejection. Maximize the Advantages of Solitude Even Jesus needed time alone. Follow His example and make the most of your time alone. Make it time for you to exercise your spiritual disciplines and as devotional time spent praying to and listening to Lord. Avoid the “Poor me” Syndrome It is alright to feel lonely. We were divinely created with a need for human companionship that can be satisfied by nothing else. Just as God could miraculously eliminate our need for oxygen, he could eliminate our need for human companionship, but he rarely does, because we can bring eternal glory to ourselves by the way we respond to this longing. Use your loneliness as a motivation to serve others in a ministry that gives God the glory. Focus on Giving, not Receiving In our desperation to fill the emptiness inside us we can fall into the hole of subconsciously becoming obsessed with our needs and discounting the needs of those around us. Be like Jesus who looked with deep compassion upon the crowds who thronged to Him. We reap what we sow. So seek to give to others what you would like someone special to give to you. It is in giving that you receive. Don’t Give in to Desperation It is terrifyingly easy to sell your soul in a crazed attempt to find a quick fix for loneliness. Your actions decide whether loneliness leads to honor or shame. To become entangled in unwise relationships is to sentence oneself to life-long regret. Not only is loneliness a test of character, it is a challenge in which there could be no higher stakes. Act in haste and you could move from temporary loneliness to permanent remorse. Take time, pray and let God lead you into relationships that will be meaningful, fulfilling and productive. Turn Being Alone into a Blessing Let God use your life situation to shape you into the image of his Son ( Romans 8:28 ). All that happens to us, good and bad, God can use for good and to His glory. Written by Larry M. Barber, LPC-S, CT author of the grief survival guide “Love Never Dies: Embracing Grief with Hope and Promise”