For those of us who follow Christ, it’s important to understand “why” we choose to live intentionally. If we take the book of Ephesians and split it into two halves, the first three chapters is the orthodoxy of our faith – our position in Christ. It’s all about God’s intentional love for us. Then in Chapter 4, moving to the last three chapters, Paul turns in a different direction. He ends the first half of Ephesians saying, as a result of everything I just said in the first three chapters, here is how I want you to live your life (paraphrased). We’ll look at the first three chapters in this blog and the last three in the next one. When we talk to our children, we often focus on what we want them to do. Maybe we need to spend a little more time talking about why what we want them to do is important. Take the opportunity to tell them why – “I want you to grow up and honor God.” “I want you to grow up and be a good father, someday.” Let’s look at three reasons we should choose to live intentionally. 1. We should choose to live intentionally because of God’s intentional love for us. How do we know that God loves us? Here are four ways He demonstrates His love to us: · The God of the universe chose you. In the grand scheme of things, God had a plan for you, and He chose you. Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, (Ephesians 1:4 NKJV). · He adopted you. Something about adoption is powerful thing. To understand that God actually adopted you and me into his kingdom, into his family, lets look at the next verse. Having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will (v.5). Every time I read that verse, I realize the great gift that it really is – the God of the Universe chose to adopt you and me, and bring us into His kingdom. · He redeemed you. In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace (v. 7). This is powerful. · He gave you the Holy Spirit. In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise (v. 13). God uses the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to build our lives and to allow us to really function in the world in which we live today. 2. Another reason why we live intentionally is because God gets the glory. When we live intentionally in Him, all the glory is His. Here are three examples of how He gets the glory: · He made you alive. In you he made alive who were dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1). That means we were dead spiritually and He made you alive. · He saved you by grace. For by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves. It is a gift of God not of works lest anyone should boast (v. 8-9). · He made you for good works. We talk about the difference between being work-oriented. It’s clearly that God has made us to be about doing good works. For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (v. 10). 3. We should live intentionally because God said so . When Daddy says so, Daddy means it, right? · He made gentiles fellow heirs. He reached out to include all of us and allowed us to choose to be grafted in to become part of the Kingdom. Paul said, The gentiles should be fellow heirs of the same body and partakers of his promise in Christ through the Gospel (Ephesians 2:19). The first three chapters contain the orthodoxy of our faith – our position in Christ. We covered that in part one of this blog. Then Paul turns in a different direction saying, as a result of everything I just said in the first three chapters, here is how I want you to live your life (paraphrased). Now we are going to see in these last three chapters briefly how we are to live our lives intentionally. 1. Walk worthy of your calling. The very next sentence from the pen of the Apostle Paul, says: Therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, I beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with you were called (Ephesians 4:1). Paul turns from belief to behavior. 2. Be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Our minds are the seed of what gets us in trouble in our lives. If you are having problems in your relationships, it starts right here. As you read through Ephesians, our head, heart, hands, thinking, emotions and our behavior can either be under the authority of the Holy Spirit, or they can be under our own control. Paul tells us here to be renewed in the spirit of your minds. You do that by prayer, by reading, by meditating and by telling yourself the truth. 3. Work with your own hands. Let him who stole steal no longer, but, rather, let him labor working with his hands what is good that he may have something to give him who has need (Ephesians 4:28 ESV). 4. Use your time wisely. Making the best use of the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16). Time is a precious thing. Today, we occupy our time with a lot of distractions and not use the time that God’s given us. Really, it’s all we have. We get about 27,000 days on the planet (see Psalm 90:12). I can’t think of anything more valuable than using the time we have to reach someone for Christ. 5. Be filled with the spirit (Ephesians 5:18). The Holy Spirit is in you. He comes into our lives when we accept Him as our Savior. But every day there we need to make sure He is filling every aspect of our lives. There’s power when we humbly ask the spirit of God to direct us in how we are going to live our lives every day. 6. Work as unto the Lord. Paul said, With goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men (Ephesians 6:7). Ultimately what matters is what we do for God. Without a why in life, the how and the what really doesn’t matter all that much, because many of us live in the what and how of life. What do we do? How do we do it? And we’re busy, but if we don’t get the why clearer, then we live our lives in a way that sometimes we wake up and say why am I doing this? Whys are important because then you better understand the how and what. www.intentionalliving.com . Used by permission.

We all have mental tapes that play over and over in our minds. If they are positive narratives, there’s no major downside other than they’re unnecessarily using up our brain-energy If our mental tapes have a negative or painful storyline they will eventually adversely affect our mind, emotions, and behavior. What is the downside of verbalizing those redundant sob stories? It’s one thing to clutter our own minds with these anecdotes. It’s another thing to clutter our conversations with them. “Be merciful in action, kindly in heart, humble in mind. Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. And, above everything else, be truly loving, for love is the golden chain of all the virtues.” Colossians 3:12 Analyze your conversations and notice if you tend to tell the same thing over and again. If so, perhaps you should tidy up your speech; delete the old stories and identify some new ones. Here are some areas to explore. www.donmcminn.com . Used by permission.

have two sets of parents. Both couples were wed during the Jurassic period (not really). Both were married almost 60 years. I watched each twosome grow old together. One pair barely tolerated each other at the bitter end. My folks were sweethearts until death parted them. Mom and Dad had a caregiver in their final years, and they confided that they wanted her to arrive later in the morning so they had time to snuggle and kiss! My Mom had mid-stage Alzheimer’s, but Daddy didn’t care. He patiently reminded her where to find her shoes and never scolded her for asking the same questions over and over again. Such long-lasting love! Yet long-lasting marriages can also become challenging. My in-laws struggled greatly in their latter years. Although they loved each other deeply, their days were filled with snapping, nagging, impatience, and frustration. Mom-in-law yelled. Pops pouted. At the end, they clung fast to each other and grieved that so many years were wasted in frustration. “Precious and Papaw” were excellent parents, phenomenal grandparents, and wonderful Christians. They just rubbed each other the wrong way. Their golden years were a bit rusty. Ancient  Sarum wedding vows  encourage: “For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and health. For as long as you both shall live.” We were wrong! Retirement is not always easy. Marriage can be challenging after partners stop working and spend long hours puttering around the house together. Some couples are healthy, wealthy, and happy. Others are strapped for cash, suffering with debilitating illness, grieving the loss of family and friends, and fearful of the future. So how do we finish the race with grace? God promises strength to persevere, but we have to submit to His plan and learn acceptance with joy. Here are  three “Scripture nuggets” to revive the romance and survive the challenges: 1. Accept one another just as Christ has accepted you.   ( Romans 15:7 ) The whirlwind of family life may mask flaws that exist between couples. Toothpaste tubes, chewing loudly and leaving laundry on the floor become battlegrounds. Let’s face it. I have mentioned trivial irritations. However, there are more devastating differences. We reject each other when one spouse is anxious and the other is carefree. We fight when one partner is disciplined and the other procrastinates. Jesus accepted everyone, even tax collectors and prostitutes. Acceptance means loving someone, affirming them and appreciating them whether they change or not. 2. Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. ( Galatians 6:2 ) Burdens come in all shapes and sizes. They can be mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. Some are little backpacks. Some are boulders. A farmer yokes his oxen together to get the job done. That’s why Solomon observed, Two are better than one…if either of them falls down, one can help the other up…though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  –  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one…” is Solomon’s way of describing the power of support and protection that marriage provides. The threefold cord is a picture of the amazing bond between God and two marriage partners. Prayer is the most important way we can bear our partner’s burdens. Christ is the ultimate “burden bearer.” He took our sins and suffering to the cross. Burden-bearing for an aging spouse may include dressing, driving, or helping with housework. Don’t try to do life without help. God provides family, friends and church homes to come alongside the elderly. I have observed that those couples actively develop a support system will find it much easier to survive. 3. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32) Be gracious, polite and courteous, not rough, rude or blunt. When my husband Roger was alive, he always opened my doors, walked on the outside of the sidewalk, and pulled out my chair. He was as chivalrous as Sir Walter Raleigh. Be thoughtful and helpful, not insensitive and selfish. Be understanding and compassionate, not callous or unconcerned. Be patient and tolerant, not edgy or easily annoyed. Be big-hearted, not begrudging. Be forgiving, not vengeful. Be gentle, not rough or harsh. It takes energy and effort to be kind. Only Christ can accomplish such sweetness in us. Many husbands and wives don’t want to go the extra mile. It’s exhausting. But when your loved one is gone, you miss the inconveniences. The extra time is filled with loss and regret. Love while you can. Each moment is precious!

In a world saturated with deceiving spirits, false prophets, and false teachers, the need to exercise discernment cannot be overstated. As believers, we think with our minds, but we discern with our spirits. Mentally we can know whether something is right or wrong in the natural realm by observation and inquiry. Theologically we can agree or disagree with a verbal or written statements based on our education, experience, and understanding of God’s word. However, the spiritual world is not always discernible by our natural senses. To chart our way in the spiritual world requires the presence of God. When the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our lives, he bears witness with our spirit and enables us to know right from wrong in the spiritual realm. This God-given ability to discern is like a sixth sense that enables us to know that something is right or wrong even though we may not know intellectually what is right or what is wrong. The interaction between God and Solomon is helpful in understanding spiritual discernment (1 Kings 3:5-15). David had died, and Solomon had taken his place as king of Israel. Solomon loved the Lord, but by his own admission, he was too young and inexperienced to be the king (vs. 7). The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream at night, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want Me to give you” (vs. 5). Solomon asked and the Lord gave him a discerning heart to govern His “people and to distinguish between right and wrong” (vs. 9). This passage reveals two key concepts about discernment. First, God gave Solomon the ability to discern because his motives were pure. Solomon wasn’t asking for a wise and discerning heart for his own personal profit, not even to gain an advantage over his enemies. He wanted discernment in order to administer justice and know good from evil. Motive is crucial since the power to discern can be misused in the Church. It is a powerful advantage to know something no one else knows. Second, spiritual discernment is always on the plane of good and evil. The Holy Spirit gives us a check in our spirit when something is wrong. It is our first line of defense when our natural senses aren’t able to register any danger or direction. However, the ability to discern spiritually does not negate the necessity of knowing God’s Word.

Two conditions of the heart exist where no one can hide: one is when the heart is filled with love and the other when we are infected with bitterness. Either condition can take over our thoughts and both can filter our entire view of life. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must make our highest quest to possess hearts full of God’s love. Indeed, how successful we are at revealing Christ’s love is the true measure of our spirituality. Thus, love cannot long exist as an unexpressed or hidden secret. If love is real, it will be seen in a thousand manifestations reaching to the heart of its beloved. Love, which is in truth passion for oneness, is too powerful to be contained by mere discipline or self-control. Indeed, is not love boldly displayed in its unrequited gifts, and is it not heard in its many encouragements and expressions of concern? Is it not tangible in its unabashed enjoyment of time spent with its beloved? Bitterness, too, cannot be hidden. A bitter soul is not seeking oneness, but justice. It is driven by the unresolved theft of its peace, personhood or possessions. Bitterness is not just a wound seeking healing; it is a prosecuting attorney building a case against the guilty. Because a bitter soul is conjoined to the injustice committed against it, it perpetually is listening to the voice of its heartache and, thus, perpetually wounded by the unforgiven offense. Dear friends, Jesus said He came to give us life in abundance (John 10:10). He said He was anointed and sent to proclaim release to prisoners and freedom to captives (Luke 4:18). If we feel we have been spiritually incarcerated by a bitter experience or an injustice, God is not seeking to condemn us for it but to save us from it. Even now, His Spirit is reaching to release us from this unbearable burden of the past. How Do We Become Free? In almost 50 years of walking with the Lord, there have been times that I have been slandered, defrauded or unfairly attacked. I have had plenty of opportunities to be embittered by injustice. Not every wound was healed instantly nor each injustice swiftly remedied. Jesus said, “By your endurance you will gain your lives” (Luke 21:19). In the final analysis, being wounded or suffering loss is not the issue – Paul said he “suffered the loss of all things.” The real issue is that we “may gain Christ” (Phil. 3:8). Let me also say that often the Lord will simply remedy the offending situation itself, thus bringing healing. Let us make room for the vastness of God’s grace. Hebrews 2:18 reveals that “[Christ] is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.” For no other reason except that He loves us, He will help us. Let us always make room for such grace. At the same time, I have also recognized that God’s highest goal for me is my conformity to Christ. (See Rom. 8:28-29). God heals me so He can conform me to Christ, and sometimes He reverses that process: He conforms me to Christ so He can heal me. In other words, my deliverance came as I appropriated Christ’s love and learned to entrust myself to God even when I was wounded by injustice. Consider this issue of trusting God. Peter tells us, “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;” (1 Pet. 2:21-23). Sometimes my healing from wounding and possible bitterness came not because restitution was made to me by the person who hurt me, but because I learned to entrust myself to God who judges righteously. To trust that God will vindicate me in His time and in His way is a sign of spiritual maturity. To entrust our case to God is the only way we can avoid countering reviling with reviling or allowing a wound to degrade into bitterness. There are other times when a lingering conflict would become an oppression upon my soul. Again, as an antidote to becoming bitter, Jesus taught, “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad (Luke adds, “and leap for joy”), for your reward in heaven is great” (Matt. 5:11-12). If you have been unfairly treated, if some injustice has soiled your name or threatens your future because of your faith in Christ, one antidote is to rejoice. Before you defend your right to remain miserable, let me ask this: Have you obeyed Jesus by leaping for joy? The Waters of Marah The Israelites went three days without fresh water. When they finally found water,”they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah” (Ex. 15:22-23). Marah, you’ll recall, means bitterness. They finally found water, but they could not drink it. The Lord, however, showed Moses “a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet” (Ex. 15:25). What Moses did was prophetic. The tree that was applied symbolically to the bitter water was a picture of the cross of Christ when it’s applied to our bitter experiences: it turns the bitter to sweet. I know in the many times the enemy has used people to wound or strike me, as I applied the cross to my life – forgiving, blessing and letting love be perfected – the outcome has always been a greater manifestation of Christ in my life. This is exactly how Paul handled adversity and injustice. Listen to what he wrote, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh” (2 Cor. 4:7-11). Dear one, is this not what you desire most: the life of Jesus Himself manifested in your mortal flesh? Lord Jesus, forgive me for trying to save my life. I purpose to trust You, to allow love to be perfected within me, to not seek justice but mercy for myself and others. Help me, Lord. Reveal Your Spirit’s power within me. Even now, uproot every bitter plant in my soul. Let my words be full of grace and truth. In Jesus’ name. Amen. https://francisfrangipanemessages.blogspot.com

At many points after a loss, the mourning person can benefit from the support of others. Individual grief reactions can vary widely from person to person and also within the same person over time. Accordingly, friends need to be ready to accept and support the griever through a wide range of emotions. Reactions to Loss Mourning people will experience many reactions to their loss as they deal with grief: At various times, but especially at first, the mourning person may experience intense and sometimes conflicting feelings or may deny that the loss has occurred. Strong feelings such as sadness, helplessness, loneliness, guilt, or anger can emerge. Experiencing and accepting these feelings as natural represents an important part of the recovery process. Ultimately, the mourning person reaches a point in the recovery process where the loss becomes integrated into his or her set of life experiences. He or she is now better able to carry out the task of daily living. Throughout their grief journey, people who are mourning will experience many reactions. Some of the following reactions may be experienced many times. Denial, shock and numbness – Reactions which distance the mourning person from the loss, thereby protecting him/her from being overwhelmed by emotions. Emotional release – These reactions accompany realizations of different aspects of the loss; they frequently involve much crying and are important to the healing process. Depression – Natural feelings beyond sadness (e.g., feelings of loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, self-pity) which occur as the person more clearly recognizes the extent of the loss. For some people, reactive depression is part of the internal processing of the loss that the mourning person must go through before reorganizing his/her life. Panic – Feeling overwhelmed, confused, fearful, unable to cope, and even believing something is wrong with oneself. Remorse – Following a loss (whether through death, relationship break up, or disability) a mourning person sometimes becomes preoccupied with thoughts of what he/she might have done differently to have prevented the loss or to have made things better. This can be helpful as the person tries to make sense out of his or her situation, but can also lead to unrealistic feelings of remorse or guilt. Anger – This is a frequent response to a perception of injustice and powerlessness. A significant loss can threaten the mourning person’s basic beliefs about himself or herself or about life in general. As a result (often to the mourning person’s bewilderment), he or she can feel anger at a person perceived as responsible for the loss or at God or life in general for the injustice of the loss; and also, in cases of loss through death, at the deceased for dying. The Need to Talk – In order to recognize and come to terms with the impact of the loss, the mourning person may express feelings, tell stories, and share memories, sometimes over and over with many different people. Physical ailments – In response to the emotional stress of grief, the immune systems of many people become suppressed or depleted, which makes the body more vulnerable to a variety of physical ailments during the months following loss (e.g., colds, nausea, hypertension, etc.). A good rule of thumb for those seeking to support the mourner: If at any time, the person’s grief starts to affect adversely their ability to function in a healthy way at home, work or in the community, then it is a good time to get professional help for the mourner. Also whenever the person providing support to the mourner feels inadequate to fulfill his or her job as comforter, it is a good time to refer the mourner to professional help. www.griefminister.com .

ust as you’ll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, so you’ll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does” (Ecclesiastes 11:5 MSG). Solomon parallels how God works with the mystery of a child growing in the womb. Although science has given us much insight, most of what happens within the womb is still a mystery. From the moment of conception to the moment of birth, the child is made in secret. Despite the facts we presently have, we still cannot fully fathom the creative genius behind all that God does. Pondering the wonder of these phenomena, David wrote, “You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank You, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything You do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! “How thoroughly You know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when You created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something. You saw who You created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days You planned for me were already recorded in Your book” (Psalm 139:13–16 TPT). God’s secret work is not exclusive to the time in our mother’s womb. There are many occasions where God has us in seasons of anonymity in which great growth occurs. What is often celebrated and applauded in the spotlight is the result of what was developed in the dark. It’s easy to be in awe of an athlete’s performance on the big stage and lose sight of all the blood, sweat, and tears behind the scenes. God does His biggest work in us privately so that He can powerfully work through us publicly. This is why we should embrace those seasons where God has us hidden. Embrace the hidden place. God has you strategically positioned while He prepares you for future promotion. Refuse to be in a hurry. Just as a baby who is birthed prematurely is weak and underdeveloped; so too are those who act prematurely. Allow God to bring you forth His way at the appointed time, not deficient in any way. Listen to what Isaiah said about being hidden: “He has made my mouth like a sharp sword; In the shadow of His hand He has hidden me and made me a polished shaft; In His quiver He has hidden me” (Isaiah 49:2 NKJV). As you are hidden in God’s quiver, you’re not only being polished but also prepared to be released forth, propelled into your destiny. www.messengerinternational.org . Used by permission.

Egypt suffered horribly when God sent the plague of the frogs. Frogs were everywhere, but Pharaoh waited to call for Moses. In the same way, we tolerate sin in our lives and incur the judgment of God. Why didn’t we just call on God and get rid of the “frogs” in our lives.

How do you combine compassionate love with confrontational truth? What’s the secret to “speaking the truth in love”? The apostle John knew. Pastor John MacArthur gives us a glimpse of this remarkable disciple: “No one likes confrontation. Even those who like to confront others don’t like being confronted themselves. It’s awkward, unpleasant, and nerve-racking. The proud can feel attacked and the humble discouraged. Only self-righteous confronters feel good about it. That’s why Christians who confront sinners with biblical truth are regularly labelled as unloving. Since the popular notion of love is whatever feels good, confrontation cannot be loving. Too often when churches claim the motto, “Love God, Love People,” what they mean is they go out of their way to avoid making people feel bad about their sin. Moreover, while the accusation of being unloving is often used by sinners to divert attention away from themselves, the accusation can also have some legitimacy. If we’re honest, we often feel the tension between speaking the truth about sin and being loving. Biblical truth can be presented in a harsh and unloving way. And finding the right balance can be difficult to discern. With this in mind, the apostle John’s life serves as an outstanding biblical example of finding that balance. John affirmed that love for Christ is authenticated by obedience to Christ (John 14:15–23). He also pointed out that love for fellow Christians is the defining mark of true Christianity (John 13:34–35) and the dividing line between God’s children and Satan’s children (1 John 3:4–10). But John’s theology of love never softened his zeal for truth—it actually brought balance into the life of this Son of Thunder. John seems to have been committed to truth very early in life. From the beginning we see him as a spiritually aware man who sought to know and follow the truth. When we first encounter John (John 1:35–37), both he and Andrew are disciples of John the Baptist. But like Andrew, John without hesitation began following Jesus as soon as John the Baptist singled Him out as the true Messiah. John’s love of truth is evident in all his writings. He uses the Greek word for truth twenty-five times in his gospel and twenty more times in his epistles. He wrote, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in truth” (3 John 4). His strongest epithet for someone who claimed to be a believer while walking in darkness was to describe the person as “a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:4). No one in all of Scripture, except the Lord Himself, had more to say extolling the very concept of truth. But sometimes in his younger years, John’s zeal for truth was lacking in love and compassion for people. He needed to learn the balance. The incident in Mark 9:38 where John forbade a man to cast out demons in Jesus’ name is a good illustration of this. That is a rare glimpse of John without James and without Peter, speaking for himself. John’s lack of compassion was also evident in his request (along with his brother, James) for permission from Jesus to call down fire on a Samaritan village that rejected Christ (Luke 9:54). On both occasions, John showed a lack of love—for both believers and unbelievers respectively. Peter, James, and John’s private viewing of Christ’s glorious transfiguration on the mountaintop seems to have fuelled a simmering rivalry among them that also brought out John’s lack of love. When they subsequently arrived in Capernaum, Jesus asked them, “What were you discussing on the way?” (Mark 9:33). Jesus did not ask because He needed the information; He was looking for a confession. He knew exactly what they were talking about. But they were embarrassed. So “they kept silent, for on the way they had discussed with one another which of them was the greatest” (Mark 9:34). They realized they were wrong to debate these things. Their own consciences obviously were smiting them. That is why they couldn’t bear to admit what all the fuss was about. Of course, Jesus knew. And He seized the opportunity to teach them once again: “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). It was a lesson about love. “Love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5). Love is manifested in service to one another, not by lording it over each other. The kingdom needs men who have courage, ambition, drive, passion, boldness, and a zeal for the truth. John certainly had all of those things. But to reach his full potential, he needed to balance those things with love. I think this episode was a critical rebuke that started to move him toward becoming the apostle of love he ultimately became. John was always committed to truth but that was not enough. Zeal for the truth must be balanced by love for people. Truth without love has no decency; it’s just brutality. On the other hand, love without truth has no character; it’s just hypocrisy. Many people are just as imbalanced as John was, only in the other direction. They place too much emphasis on the love side of the fulcrum. Some are merely ignorant; others are deceived; still others simply do not care about what is true. In each case, truth is missing, and all they are left with is error, clothed in a shallow, tolerant sentimentality. It is a poor substitute for genuine love. They talk a lot about love and tolerance, but they utterly lack any concern for the truth. Therefore even the “love” they speak of is a tainted love. Real love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). On the other hand, there are many who have all their theological ducks in a row and know their doctrine but are unloving and self-exalting. They are left with truth as cold facts, stifling and unattractive. Their lack of love cripples the power of the truth they profess to revere. The truly godly person must cultivate both virtues in equal proportions. If you could wish for anything in your sanctification, wish for that. If you pursue anything in the spiritual realm, pursue a perfect balance of truth and love. Know the truth, and uphold it in love. In Ephesians 4, the apostle Paul describes this balance of truth and love as the very pinnacle of spiritual maturity. He writes of “the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13). He is speaking about full maturity, perfect Christlikeness. This is how he epitomizes the goal for which we ought to strive: “[That] speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). This is what it means to share Christ’s likeness. He is the perfect expression of truth and the perfect expression of love. He is our model. As a mature apostle, John learned the lesson well. His brief second epistle offers vivid proof of how well he balanced the twin virtues of truth and love. Throughout that epistle, John repeatedly couples the concepts of love and truth. He writes, “To the chosen lady and her children, whom I love in truth” (2 John 1). He says, “I was very glad to find some of your children walking in truth” (2 John 4), and then he spends the first half of the epistle urging them to walk in love as well. He reminds them of the New Commandment, which of course is not really new, but simply restates the commandment we have heard from the beginning: “that we love one another” (2 John 5). But John balances that emphasis on love in the second half of the epistle by urging this woman not to compromise her love by receiving and blessing false teachers who undermine the truth. Genuine love is not some saccharine sentiment that disregards the truth and tolerates everything: For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch yourselves, that you do not lose what we have accomplished, but that you may receive a full reward. Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds. (2 John 7–11) John is no longer calling down fire from heaven against the enemies of truth, but he cautions this lady not to go to the other extreme, either. She is not to open her home or even bestow a verbal blessing on people who make a living twisting and opposing the truth. Love and truth must be maintained in perfect balance. Truth is never to be abandoned in the name of love. But love is not to be deposed in the name of truth. That is what John learned from Christ, and it gave him the balance he so desperately needed.” www.gty.org . Original content HERE.

Are you an effective leader? If not, have you ever wondered why? As a leader, there are things you do every day. Some help—others, not so much. I’ve found that as I’ve grown as a leader, I’ve regularly had to change how I think, how I lead and even what I say. Fortunately, there are hacks you can learn along the way that will help you get better faster. What follows are some things you can easily banish as a leader starting today. Eliminating all of them or most of them will give you immediate traction. Here are 7 things you should stop doing today if you want to make progress. 1. LEAD BY INTENTIONS Your kids aren’t going to remember your intentions. Neither will your wife or your church. The people who count on you only ever see your actions. Which likely means no one’s going to stand next to your casket or urn and say “He wished he was nicer” or “He had always hoped to be more strategic” or “She really wanted to overcome her fear”. Legacies never get built on intentions. They’re built on action. So get over your intentions and start acting. 2. USE WORDS THAT START WITH “SOME” If you want to get nothing meaningful done, just use words that start with “some” a lot. Like in every conversation or meeting you’re in. What ‘some’ words? Well…. Somebody Someday Sometime Something These words end up sounding like this: Somebody should do something about that sometime someday. Guaranteed zero action happens. Ever. Leadership is not simply talk. In fact, talking about doing something again and again is not leadership, it’s delusion. There’s only one ‘some’ word I can think of that I like, and that’s somehow. Somehow can be an amazing word when you’re up against and impossible task and someone asks you “How on earth will we do this?” and you reply “I don’t know. But somehow we’ll figure it out.” Now that’s awesome. But someone somewhere sometimes means no-one nowhere ever. Trust me. 3. UNNECESSARY MEETINGS The value of meetings once you get beyond the creative process, or meetings to nail down a few executional details or meetings connect for a check-in to sync up the team is pretty low. For the most part, meetings are the enemy of work. Far too many leaders waste their lives in meetings. Instead of doing what they’re called to do, they meet about what they’re supposed to be doing. Dreams can be born in meetings, but far more often, dreams die in meetings. Meetings are the enemy of work. Do your work instead. 4. FEAR Fear is the thief of hope. It kills leadership. It murders courage. Way too many leaders I know, live in fear. The difference between effective leaders and ineffective leaders is simple: all leaders feel fear. The effective ones push past it. So what’s the antidote to fear? While there are a few, believe it or not, I think one of the antidotes to fear is the fear the right thing. If you’re going to be afraid, I suggest you fear this: Be afraid of never accomplishing your mission. That will give you courage, or at least determination. And that in turn, will grow your faith. 5. THE DESIRE TO BE LIKED Leadership requires you to take people to destinations they would not go without your leadership. Stop for a moment and, if you would, re-read that sentence. Do you see the challenge? Leadership is inherently difficult because it requires a leader to take people where they don’t naturally want to go. So you have a choice as a leader. You can focus on leading people, or focus on being liked. When you focus on being liked, you will instinctively try to please the people you’re leading. And when you do, you will become confused. Pleasing people is inherently confusing because people don’t agree. One person wants it one way. Another wants it another way. And soon, you’re bending over backward to make everyone happy, which of course means that in the end, you will end up making no one happy, including yourself. It’s actually a recipe for misery for everyone. It’s also a recipe for inertia. If you focus on being liked, you’ll never lead. You will never have the courage to do what needs to be done. 6. SELFISHNESS Ambition can be a good thing. It’s great to have hopes and dreams for your mission. But selfish ambition is a different creature. Ambition kills servants of God and turns them into servants of themselves. Enough said. 7. BLAMING OTHERS It’s so easy to blame everyone else and everything else for your lack of progress as a leader. If you want to keep not making progress, keep blaming others. The opposite of blame is responsibility. If you think about the leaders you admire most, they’re probably the most responsible leaders you know. Great leaders never assign blame. Instead, they assume responsibility. www.careynieuwhof.com . Used by permission.

All of you, leaders and followers alike, are to be down to earth with each other, for— God has had it with the proud, But takes delight in just plain people.” 1 Peter 5:5 MSG This post will be good news to everyone, except narcissists. Good news: When you’re in public, people don’t notice you as much as you think they do. We often think people are observing us when they’re not. We worry about the clothes we wear because we think people notice; they don’t. We’re overly self-conscious about how we act; no need to be. Social scientists call this the “spotlight effect.” It’s our tendency to think we’re being noticed more than we really are. Dozens of studies in social psychology have supported this phenomenon. In one test, psychologists asked some college students to wear bright yellow Barry Manilow t-shirts to a large introduction to psychology class. After the class, they asked the students who wore the tacky t-shirt to estimate how many of their classmates noticed them. Then the researchers asked the students in the classroom how many had noticed their classmates wearing the t-shirts. Few students had noticed those wearing the t-shirts; those who wore the t-shirts greatly overestimated the number of people who had noticed. So what explains the “spotlight effect”? Scientists conclude it is the result of egocentrism. We all are the center of our own universes so it’s hard to develop an accurate evaluation of how much we are noticed. The “spotlight effect” manifests from the innate tendency to forget that although one is the center of one’s own world, one is not the center of everyone else’s. This tendency is especially prominent when one does something atypical. The spotlight effect does not necessarily imply that we are arrogant or value ourselves more than others, but that our perception of the world is primarily from our own perspective and even what we think other people think of us is self-imposed. Don’t confuse being self-aware with being self-conscious. The former is good and necessary for emotional health and proper social interactions. But the term self-conscious usually describes someone who is ill at ease or uncomfortable with himself/herself as an object of the observation of others. Symptoms of being self-conscious include: getting angry or hostile when embarrassed; avoiding social experiences; blaming others for one’s mistakes; blaming yourself for other people’s mistakes; low self-esteem; and feeling agitated, anxious, depressed, or nervous based on what you think other people think of you. There’s no simple solution to our struggle with being self-conscious; it’s a complicated issue. If you struggle inordinately, visit with a trained counselor. This post simply offers insight that might bring some relief: people are not noticing you as much as you think they are. www.donmcminn.com . Used by permission.

Come home. You’re not too far gone. You’re not out of reach. You’re not hopeless. You’re never too far from the embrace of the forgiving, compassionate, and loving arms of your Creator God. Many people live their lives not believing what I just wrote. They think they’ve gone too far and too long in their own ways apart from God. They think that their sin has pushed them so far away that they are now in the realm of the unforgivable. What a lie. What pride. The person that thinks they are too far gone also believes in a god that is far too small. That is not the God of the Bible. The God of the Bible’s power is limitless. He does not confine His power to the extent of our sins, and He is not surprised by our wayward actions. No, no. The God of the Bible is far bigger than any of our sin habits and sin addictions. He’s far greater than our sin struggles and sin patterns. He came to earth as the God-man to prove it. There’s also an Old Testament story that illuminates the point as well… THE STORY OF WICKED KING AHAB Ahab (one of the kings of ancient Israel) ruled the northern tribes of God’s people in the 9th century BC. His reign was full of sin, which led him to marry a pagan princess, institute the worship of the pagan deity, Baal, and was widely known for persecution of God’s prophets. In fact, it was even said of him that, “Surely there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do evil in the sight of the Lord…”. What a condemnation. What a lost man. However, he was still of the people of God, and God had made promises to His people that were based upon His character alone. Thus, Ahab, though considered as one of the most evil kings of ancient Israel, could bend the heart of God. He could, by humbling himself before God, experience God’s compassion and mercy. And this is exactly what happened. “It came about when Ahab heard these words, that he tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and fasted, and he lay in sackcloth and went about despondently. Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, “Do you see how Ahab has humbled himself before Me? Because he has humbled himself before Me, I will not bring the evil in his days…” 1 Kings 21:27-29a God had previously said, “Behold, I will bring evil upon you, and will utterly sweep you away, and will cut off from Ahab every male, both bond and free in Israel…” But, God’s heart was bent to the humility of Ahab, and He relented. What compassion. What mercy. What love. This is our God. How Does This Apply To Us Today? Have you strayed from God in sin? Do you believe that God will bring judgment upon those who continue in sin? Do you fear this judgment? Come home. Come home. Humble yourself before your God. Come home. www.staffandstones.com . Used by permission of www.dbc.org.