There was a time when going to church is what respectable people did. Two generations ago, every self-respecting citizen went to church, regardless of their desire to be there or not. When I was in middle school our family became acquaintances with someone at church. My parents ended up doing business with him only to learn later that he was far from ethical in his business dealings. Church, it turned out, was just a handy place for him to expand his business. Long gone are the days of expected church attendance. And good riddance to them. I have no desire to have our society return to “the good old days” of church attendance insofar as that is merely moral behavior. What I long for are people to yearn for an encounter with a holy and loving God and to experience the warmth of God’s family. “Long gone are the days of expected church attendance. And good riddance to them.” A recent survey asked people why they do and don’t attend church. Those who attend cited reasons such as “to get closer to God,” “because I find the sermons valuable,” and “to be part of a faith community” as some of their answers. Those who don’t attend listed these as their top reasons for not attending: 1. I practice my faith in other ways 2. I am not a believer 3. I haven’t found a church I like 4. I don’t like the sermons 5. I don’t feel welcome That’s a helpful glimpse into the heart of the non-church attender. You might notice that four of the five reasons don’t have anything to do with their beliefs. That means that the most significant objection you might fear from your neighbor (disagreeing with your faith) is unlikely to be the main reason they aren’t attending. If we consider that in a town like Tucson somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of residents very rarely, if ever attend church, each of these reasons represents a huge number of people. An argumentative approach is certainly not the way to go. Instead, lovingly addressing each of these concerns is far more effective. So let’s address these reasons: 1) I practice my faith in other ways. Sharing with this person the benefits and blessings you have experienced from church is a wonderful way to gently push back on this belief. You can share what you’ve learned through sermons or how you have been challenged. You can share how blessed you are in worshiping alongside others. You can share how the family of God has come alongside you in times of need. You can also, more boldly, but just as lovingly, suggest that the Bible doesn’t have a category for Christianity without meaningful connection to other believers. Our witness is predicated on our unity (John 15), our spiritual gifts are given for the benefit of other Christians (1 Corinthians 12), and we are directly told not to forsake gathering together (Hebrews 12). While individual expressions of faith are important and purposeful, they are not the entirety of the Christian experience. 2) I am not a believer. While the main purpose of the gathered body is for the encouragement and upbuilding of believers, the church always welcomes unbelievers. In fact, it’s a great way to test out what someone has heard about Christianity. Some sects and cults don’t allow unbelievers in their worship. That is not so with Christianity. There are no secrets behind the veil. And doesn’t such a significant decision—what one chooses to believe about who God is and what we were made for—merit meaningful time, energy, and inquiry? 3) I haven’t found a church I like. The best way to find a church that is a good fit is to go with a friend. And you never know what you might end up liking if you give it a shot. What wound out being some of my favorite TV shows, I almost didn’t make it to the second or third episode. If your friend doesn’t like your church, maybe you know another church they might like, or maybe your pastor can suggest a church that might better fit their preferences. Ultimately, of course, our commitment to the church shouldn’t be predicated on our preferences, but rather our commitment to Christ and his people. 4) I don’t like the sermons. Why doesn’t your friend like the sermons? Because of a disagreement? Because they are boring? Because they are too elementary? Because they aren’t grounded in the Bible? Each of these reasons has a different response. If the sermons aren’t grounded in the authority of the Bible, then it is a good idea to consider a different church. If you disagree with the pastor, perhaps you can walk through those disagreements, or even encourage your friend to sit down with the pastor and walk through disagreements? If the sermons are boring or too elementary, perhaps digging into the Bible during the sermon you yield even deeper insight as the pastor preaches. Or perhaps there is a loss of thirst for spiritual things. Pray earnestly for a true spiritual thirst. 5) I don’t feel welcome. This is an easy one! There is no better way for someone to feel welcome than you driving with them to church, walking through the doors with them, and sitting next to them. In fact, it’s hard to imagine them not feeling welcome in that scenario! Every church is flawed. I wish our church perfectly welcomed everyone who walked through our doors; I wish my sermons never left a single person bored, frustrated, or turned off, and I wish that we were able to play music that meaningfully connected with every person. I long for us to continue to grow to be the church God has called us to be. And we won’t ever stop challenging ourselves to have the next Sunday be even better than the last Sunday. But I still believe in the church! Every gathering of God’s people is a place where God brings his transformative power, where God spills his love out over his people, and where he calls unbelievers to himself. Don’t stop believing in God’s church. And don’t miss out on your opportunity to invite the many who are disconnected from God’s family to come and see what God is doing. www.thebeehive.live . Used by permission.

Do You Have a “Daddy Complex? In the secular counseling world there is a concept referred to as the “Daddy Complex.” While there is no official diagnostic criteria for this concept, the condition is used to describe conscious or unconscious trauma experienced by a child through a father figure relationship. The trauma often produces maladaptive behaviors that become more obvious in adult relationships and in parenting, which can drive many men toward addictive behaviors . Many of my clients struggle with this issue due to the deep and troubling wounds they are still packing around from dear old Dad. What is it like to be a dad in present-day America? As we learn what it means to be a dad, we have to understand brain development and how it contributes to the way we parent our kids. Equally important is how our kids develop empathy and their identity in Christ. . FIRST OBSERVATION A FATHERLESS NATION One of the greatest crisis in America is that we are becoming a fatherless nation. Dads have never faced greater spiritual attack in our nation’s history. Even when dads are physically present, many are not emotionally available. Interestingly, the statistics give us insight on why we are faced with this reality. Today, fewer men get married than did just a few decades ago and few stay married. Thus, one out of every three children don’t live with their biological father—that rate has doubled since 1970. Fatherless kids are four times more likely to live in poverty and two times more likely to dropout of high school. Girls who grow up without a father present are seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen. Based on research, males in our society are leading in all the wrong categories: 77 percent of all suicides are committed by men in America (a 43 percent increase from 1997 to 2014) Incarceration crisis: over 90 percent of inmates are men Less boys graduate from high school Less boys attend and graduate from college Boys have more disciplinary problems in school One in five boys are diagnosed with some type of hyperactivity disorder and are on medication (which might have unknown long-term effects) Approximately, seven million men have dropped out of the labor force—half of those take pain medication on any given day—that is the highest rate in the world by far! The conclusions I have about being a father and the desperate need for fathers is not just based on my personal opinion but on solid research. SECOND OBSERVATION RAISING BIBLICAL WARRIORS Because of the family crisis in America today, one of the primary callings of a dad is to raise kids who grow up to become biblical warriors. Please notice I said, “biblical warriors,” not just warriors. A biblical warrior is characterized by three things: courage, commitment, and character. While these characteristics are important in many areas of life, if they are only developed to serve the individual and not others, they are developed in vane. These qualities must be embedded in an empathic heart. Let me explain exactly what I mean: Courage: Ability to manage your emotions and face your most challenging fears without flipping your lid or losing control. Commitment: Ability to bounce back when life knocks you down and not quit. Character: Ability to look within and understand what you are feeling, make good decisions, and be in control of your life instead of allowing circumstances to control your life. Empathy: Ability to understand how someone else sees their world, then care enough to act on their behalf when needed. Every dad wants to see these qualities developed in their kid’s life. This is at the core of raising biblical warriors: enabling your kids to open their hearts and minds to new challenges, to become who God created them to be! BRAIN WARS What many dads fail to recognize is the brain changes or lack of brain function exhibited by their kids. For example, the area of the brain located just behind the forehead is known as the prefrontal cortex. It’s responsible for higher-order thinking, compassion, curiosity, insight, and even moral reasoning. This part of the brain is not developed until the mid-twenties, leaving many kids vulnerable to its lack of function. To further complicate matters, the emotional center of the brain, the limbic system, is fully functional. With your kids, have you ever experienced a meltdown or battles over bedtime, sibling wars, or homework freak-outs? You know what I mean. As a dad, this is important: you will need to serve as their surrogate prefrontal cortex! You will need to provide emotional stability to the overpowering emotions they are experiencing. Through healthy communication and relationship, this is a great opportunity for you to lay a foundation for future courage in their lives. LEARNED EMPATHY Our kids learn empathy from us—by the way we respond to them when they are feeling hurt or afraid. When a child is experiencing physical or emotional pain, and their dad says, “Suck it up, be a man!” this only teaches them shame. Many adults go through life numbing their feelings and their response to another’s feelings because they were not taught empathy. This is evident in the work I do with men who struggle with sexual addiction: it takes time for them to develop empathy for the way they have wounded their wives. Hard times are going to happen in life. It is inevitable. When our kids experience stress, as dads, we often try to protect our kids by telling them, “You have nothing to worry about.” Despite our intent, this response only denies their feelings. Empathetically, we need to walk with them through the difficulties they experience, so that they can learn how to stay committed during tough times. GOD-GIVEN IDENTITY Our calling as a father is to help our kids respond to and develop their God-given identity. We have the tremendous opportunity to reflect the love and grace of God to our kids as we participate in their lives. More times than I can count, I have observed a man who was raised by a dysfunction dad spend his entire life struggling with a deep uncertainty about his identity. It often takes a lifetime to separate God the Father from our biological father—to discover our true identity that is only found in Christ. From a biblical warrior’s perspective, we need to help our kids develop a strong character so that they are equip to handle tough times. They need to understand their feelings—what’s going on inside them physically, emotionally, and spiritually—so that they can make the right decisions when faced with overwhelming circumstances. For this to happen in our kids lives, we need to make sure these two things happen in our lives: 1. As a dad, we must understand that our ultimate goal is not to extinguish unwanted or bad behavior in our kids, but to develop emotional health that we can model and pass along to our kids. The simple truth: if we are stuck in unhealthy behaviors, we are useless to our kids. 2. As a dad, none of this stuff works until you understand how your Heavenly Father views you and relates to you. Let me close by sharing a life-transforming experience I had with my son. I was taking him to the Home Depot store: kind of a guy’s shopping experience. It was a warm, gorgeous day, and not a cloud insight. One of those extremely rare days we have in the Northwest. I had my left arm propped up on the car window sill, my right arm arched over the steering wheel. As I casually looked over at my five-year-old son, I was stunned! Bryan was mimicking every move I was making. That is when I lost it! In fact, I started crying and had to pull off the road, my eyes so flooded with tears that I couldn’t see straight. Through my tears, I blubbered out, “Son, I never had a relationship (sob) with a dad(sob) like you have with me (sob)!” Bryan was looking out the window and I wondered if had even heard me. But he heard every word I said. Without missing a beat, he turned to me and asked, “Well…then how to you know how to raise me, dad?” I was caught completely off guard, but blurted out, “Son, I am just trying to raise you the way my Heavenly Father is raising me!” This is when the lights went on for me as a dad. I was so afraid of being a terrible dad. My seven abusive stepdads were poor examples of a father. I was terrified that I would mess up my kids; that they would struggle with a Daddy Complex for the rest of their lives. That day, my son helped me understand how good my Heavenly Father was to me. When I got that right, then I could be the dad my kids needed. Solc, V. (2013). Father Archetype. Retrieved from http://www.therapyvlado.com/english/father-archetype/ Hoff Sommers, C. (2015). The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies Is Harming Our Young Men. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. Farrell, W. & Gray, J. (2018). The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It. Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, Inc. www.puredesire.org .

Anytime someone speaks of GENERATIONS, I’m drawn. Isn’t it funny how we seem to have radar when it comes to certain topics? A couple of weeks ago, for instance, our worship leader read aloud from Psalm 145 as part of our corporate worship time: …and shall declare your mighty acts. 5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. 6 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. 7 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness. The words pulled me in that morning, and they continue to pull… “One generation… to another” Our God is the God of many generations. Scripture makes that clear. It’s even found in one of the names He uses for Himself: “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Exodus 3:6 God loves the generations and prefers to work within its framework. This passage is a mandate to generational interaction. The generation that is going off is to pour into the generation that is coming up. Likewise, the rising generation is to follow the example of the older generation. In this manner things are to continue — until the end of time as we know it. A perfect design — for the good of all people and for His glory. “…commend…declare…meditate…speak…declare…pour forth…sing aloud…” Read through the passage again and notice. It is packed with vivid verbs calling us to action as we interact with the generations He so loves. In verse four, we see that we are to offer public praise for the “things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us” (Psalm 73:8). In completeness and in detail, we are to proclaim His great works. Verse five beckons us to private meditation. We are to spend time alone thinking on the gloriousness of His majesty and reflecting on His works. Just as there is a rhythm to the generational cycle — older to younger, younger to older — we find a cycle in this passage. Verse four speaks to generational interaction. Verse five quiets us with a period of personal communication with the Lord. The cycle continues in verses six and seven where in verse six we are instructed to tell other generations of His awesome deeds, things that no person could do on their own. And in verse seven, where we are exhorted to share our praise for His abundant goodness and to sing aloud His righteousness — a goodness that can never dry up and a righteousness that is perfect and just. Musings of a Mimi (as she meditates on this passage) As I sit with this passage pondering the generational message and all those verbs, the questions arise. And while it would be the easy thing just to swipe them away, I know that is not in my best interest or the best interest of the generations in my circle of influence. As difficult as it may be, I need to answer those questions. God does His best work in my life in the hard place of self-reflection and honesty. “Do I share the great works of God that I have heard from others with my grandchildren and those of other generations? If so, do I gloss over them or share them in completeness and detail?” “Am I spending time alone in meditation on His glorious majesty and supernatural works? Do I live in this rhythm of experiencing periods of personal time with God then going out to share with the generations what I have come to know?” “Do I tell of His great power? Share my praise for His abundant goodness and provision? Sing of His righteousness?” Questions raise more questions: “Am I intentional about making Him a big deal when I’m with my grandchildren? Do I share only the history and God’s “rules?” Or am I deliberate about also sharing His unfathomable love?” As Mimi, I sit in a unique position of influence with my grandchildren. But it’s so easy for me to lose sight of that as I get caught up in the day to day of life. I can go for days without giving much thought to these important things. Sitting here with this passage, I am reminded — of my great responsibility to my grandchildren and how I am to carry it out. I am reminded of the role God has assigned to me in His loving wisdom. More questions as I continue to reflect: “If I’m not intentional about making God a big deal with my grandchildren, what might happen?” I’ve heard that it only takes three generations for love to be lost. I tend to think that might be a valid statistic as I call to mind a company in our area that was started by a gentleman several years ago. He loved the company and poured his heart and life into it. He also trained his children in the business, and they eventually took over. Then on to the next generation it went. The generation who sold it. Yes, it was the family business, but this generation did not share their grandfather’s love and passion for company. Three generations. Grandfather’s love was gone! “Or what about this example?” The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of a hundred and ten… After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what He had done for Israel. — Judges 2:7-8, Judges 2:10 (NIV) A generation lost! Joshua’s generation! In the span of a single generation, not three! And to top it all, this was a generation who had personally witnessed miraculous signs and wonders and unbelievable victories. The passage doesn’t tell us HOW it happened, only that it did! As a grandparent, I simply need to know — that it did. It could. Oh that it not happen to my grandchildren. This is the cry of my heart! Grandparent, Right there is those few verses from Psalm 145 we see it. God calls us to work within the framework of generations. He calls us to interact with and impact our grandchildren for their good and His great glory. We are to do this by preparing ourselves in His presence and then going out to share with great exuberance what we know about Him.. Our assignment is to be about the business of making a big deal of God with our grandchildren. It’s a tremendous responsibility, but one He assigned to us. 4 One generation shall commend your works to another, Loving Father, I pray that each one of my precious children and grandchildren come to know You, personally, and that they love You with their entire being. Help me as their grandma to be intentional in interacting with them (and other generations). Help me to boldly and without reservation share my love for You with each of them through accounts of Your mighty acts, awesome deeds, greatness, abundant goodness, righteousness, and lavish love for all. Amen!

Though often well-intended, a commitment to being “color blind” becomes harmful when it fails to recognize the good ways God has filled the world with color. In other words, sometimes “color blindness” is a spiritually and psychologically unhealthy way to cope with the world as it is. “Color blind” ought not mean truth blind. Of course, people cope in various ways. Some cope by running. That’s the flight response, and there are all kinds of ways to flee. Some cope by slugging. That’s the fight response. And like flight, there are many ways to fight in response to things. But there exist coping strategies in between fight and flight, like peacemaking. Peacemaking involves two or more parties in conflict actually finding a way to resolve the conflict and return to peace. Peacemaking can include mediation, negotiation, arbitration, and restorative church discipline to name a few. Of course, the peacemakers are blessed people; they are genuine children of God (Matt. 5:9). In the evangelical landscape, we find the entire range of coping strategies when it comes to matters of ethnic reconciliation. Some run away afraid of injury or just weary with experience. Some throw fists and elbows ready to fight for their view. A great many are in the middle trying to figure out a peacemaking approach. What we cannot miss, however, is that there is something called peace-faking too. The good folks at Peacemaker Ministries first taught me this point. Peace-faking is an escape response. It’s running away while acting as if you’re not. It’s saying “Peace, peace” when there is no peace. Peace-faking smears the situation with whitewash (Ezek. 13:10). Peace faking sounds a lot like peacemaking and even tries to walk and talk like peacemaking. But not everything that quacks like a duck is a duck; sometimes it’s a hunter sitting in a blind taking aim at any duck lured by the sound! Which brings me back to well-intentioned but disastrously ill-conceived notions of “color blindness.” Sometimes people assert they are “color blind” or that the Bible is “color blind” as a way of peace-faking and fleeing conflict. Worse still, sometimes people assert “color blind” approaches as a way of peace-breaking. They attempt to weaponize their coping approach in a way that delegitimizes other approaches or effectively demonize people who “see color.” The “color blind” approach proceeds on a misdiagnosis of the problem. Seeing color in the physical sense of seeing is not the problem. Unless one is actually blind, we all see color. Admitting that people have skin pigments of varying hues and that sometimes those hues cluster into what the Bible calls families, clans, kinsmen, and nations is not the problem. Again, that’s self-evident. Anyone denying these things (and I’m not aware of any who does) is simply being delusional or dishonest. The problem occurs at two points. First, people sometimes use “color blindness” to deny any and all meaning associated with skin color (here used as an imperfect proxy for ethnicity). If by “color blind” we mean that a person’s ethnicity has no meaning or legitimacy inside the church, in redemptive history, or in the practice of the church’s ordinances, then we have effectively defined away that person. Rather than associate positive value with ethnicity or skin color, and rather than grant the dignity of allowing that person to tell us what it means to them to be Black or White or Brown or Yellow, the “color blind” erases all of that and insists the person become something other than what God made them to be. After all, it is God who designed a universe with color and painted every aspect of the universe in vibrant hue, including humanity. It was God who separated the human family into tribes and clans and nations (Gen. 10). And it’s God who reconstitutes for himself a new people made of every tribe, clan, and language (Acts 2; Rev. 7). It must also be God who rightly defines what color means and doesn’t mean if we want a healthy identity. That he intends it so cannot and should not be subverted or denied. At the very least it should be affirmed that color communicates beauty and creativity. God doesn’t make mistakes; he’s never painted with an errant stroke. “Color blindness” does not really acknowledge the human world and its beauty the way God has actually made it. There’s a second problem with the peace-faking approach of “color blindness.” Sometimes “color blindness” gets used to deny any responsibility for addressing problems that occur along the lines of skin color. “Color blind” becomes pretext for an ideological worldview that excuses the holder from taking biblical action to redress wrong. If you don’t see it, you don’t have to acknowledge it or do anything about it. This is why a bad form of “color blind” coping becomes a real disaster. It leaves real problems unaddressed when the Lord calls his people to do justice and live righteously. It’s ironic. “Color blindness” ends up at the same dead end as overt racism. Overt racism makes too much of and associates the wrong meanings with skin color. Where “color blindness” is a flight response, overt racism is a fight response. But they both end up saying to people of color, “I don’t see you and I don’t value you.” They both fail to accept the Christian responsibility to love neighbor. They both perpetuate injustice either by actively committing it in the case of overt racism or by actively denying it in the case of “color blindness.” The only way to live responsibly in the world is to commit ourselves to the kind of peacemaking that begins with things as they really are. We must learn to cope with the tools of the gospel and the Scripture, and that’s going to require a bunch of humility and faith. www.thegospelcoalition.org .

Here’s a challenging question: Why do you want your church to grow? Your motivation for wanting your church to grow is pivotal for a number of significant reasons. First, if you’re a church leader, it’s not your church, it’s God’s. And one day you’ll give an account to God for what you did with what he entrusted you and why you did it. Second, ultimately, I think people can tell what your motivation really is. Eventually, people can sense whether you care about the mission, whether you care about them or whether you’re just using them. Third, your motivation is an integrity issue. And integrity ultimately determines whether what you build stands, in the same way that a house with structural integrity will stand for a century when a poorly built home won’t. Wanting your church to grow isn’t a bad thing at all. A passion for the mission inevitably means a passion for reaching more people, which in turn implies growth. The purest motive in leadership will be simply that you want people to come to know the love, forgiveness, and fullness of life in Jesus Christ. A passion for the mission inevitably means a passion for reaching more people. Yet not everyone wants their church to grow for the right reasons. And the question becomes: whether you’re intrigued with church growth or not, how do you know where you stand? To some extent, I believe we ALL need to do a motive check on church growth, whether you love seeing growth or whether you criticize church leaders who do. In the name of making this an all-skate, I’ll share five motivations all of us who think about church growth, are working toward it or experiencing it need to check. Then I’ll share three motive checks that might be helpful for the critics of growing churches and those who even dislike the idea of church growth. Just because you struggle with bad motives doesn’t mean you’ll succumb to them. But if you recognize them for what they are, you can identify them, confess them, and kill them before they ruin a good thing. People can tell whether you care about them or whether you’re using them. First let’s tackle those of us who talk about church growth (a lot), like me and those of us who are part of growing churches. Here are some wrong motives for church growth we have to continually check ourselves against. 5 CHECKS FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE GROWING CHURCHES So what do people who lead growing churches need to check? Let’s start with pride. 1. PRIDE So…is pride driving your desire to see your church grow? That can be tough to answer accurately. Pride is like greed; it rarely shows itself in the mirror. How would you know if pride is driving your desire to grow? Just watch what happens when you grow or don’t grow. As Tim Keller says, if growth has become an idol to you, success will go to your head and failure will go to your heart. Pride is like greed; it rarely shows itself in the mirror. Proud leaders do great as long as everything is moving up and to the right, but if things turn, they almost can’t stand the outcome because it crushes them. A humble leader can lead in time of failure, stagnation, and success. Humility separates what you do from who you are. Pride never does. If growth is an idol, success goes to your head and failure goes to your heart. (HT @timkellernyc) 2. COMPETITION Some leaders want their church to grow because they need to be the best—to be the brightest, fastest, or on top. There’s a world of difference between wanting to do your best and wanting to be the best. Competition is an inferior motive for growth not just because it’s linked to pride, but because it diminishes the contribution of all others as ‘inferior.’ Leaders who always want to be first usually take delight in the fact that others are second. And that stinks. Especially for a Christian. Competitive leaders feel they have to be the best. Healthy leaders simply want to do their best. (Sometimes, that even lands them at Number One.) Competitive leaders feel they have to be the best. Healthy leaders simply want to do their best. 3. INSECURITY Sometimes insecure people want their church or organization to grow because it makes them feel better about themselves. Insecurity and pride are closely linked. Why? Insecurity can lead to an obsession with self the same way narcissism can. The insecure person thinks about themselves constantly and will use others to make them feel better, which of course, is always a mistake. Pride, competition, and insecurity should drive you to God (and perhaps to a Christian counselor), not to more. Insecurity can lead to an obsession with self the same way narcissism can. Insecurity can lead to an obsession with self the same way narcissism can. 4. ORGANIZATIONAL PRESERVATION There’s also weird but real motive for growth in stuck or dying churches. Too many churches want to grow simply so they can stay afloat. You’ve heard it more often than anyone would like to admit: We need some people to help pay the bills. We just need more butts in the seats if this is going to work. We are so short on volunteers that we really need to get some new people in the doors. People who join your church will soon see that you value them for what they can do, not for who they are. As a result, they won’t stick. Cruel as it sounds, churches that want to grow simply to keep themselves alive probably should die. They’ve lost the mission. Churches that want to grow simply to keep themselves alive probably should die. 5. BECAUSE YOU SIMPLY WANT TO GROW Other churches don’t need to grow to stay afloat, but instead, they want to grow simply because, well, they want to grow. The logic goes like this: Healthy things grow, right? So we should add a campus, or add a service or embark on a building campaign to make more space. Well, maybe. But actually maybe not. But that healthy ‘thing’ should already be growing, to the point where you need to make a move or it just makes sense to make a move. Expanding so you’ll start growing is like saying you want to get married so you’ll fall in love. No, you get married because you’ve fallen in love. Usually, a church should expand because one of two things is happening: There’s not enough room for people who are already coming. You’ve got a thriving ministry in one location and you want to bring it to a new location. Remember, you never reproduce who you want to be. You reproduce who you are. You never reproduce who you want to be. You reproduce who you are. What often happens when you expand because you want to expand is that you will end up with more debt, more complexity, more stagnation, and more confusion. Dying at one location = 12 feet under at two locations. Expanding for the sake of expansion is not a growth strategy; it’s actually an implosion strategy. Expanding for the sake of expansion is not a growth strategy; it’s an implosion strategy. 3 CHECKS FOR THE CRITICS OF GROWTH So that’s a pretty humbling heart check for those of us who love to see things grow. But what about the critics of growth? Are the naysayers and critics always healthy? Not always. here are three things critics of growth might be wise to pay attention to. 1. JEALOUSY Sometimes I wonder if the critics of church growth are fueled (even a little bit) by jealousy. Envy is a deadly motivator. It can’t see anyone else succeed and calls into question the motives of anyone who does. Jealously says God hasn’t given me enough. What’s worse, jealousy causes you to ignore your own issues while you invent issues for other people. And this comes from a guy who’s had to wrestle jealousy to the ground. Been there. Don’t want to live there. Jealousy causes you to ignore your own issues while you invent issues for other people. 2. FEELING THREATENED Many critics of church growth feel threatened by churches that are actually being more effective in reaching the community than their church is. If you’re feeling threatened, don’t criticize, reflect. Why are they reaching people you’re not? Why are they baptizing more people? It’s probably not because they’ve sold out or secretly worship the devil. No, in many cases the leaders of growing churches are faithful (like you are). They’re just a little more relevant. They’ve discovered how to speak to the culture. The problem with relevance is that it always threatens irrelevance. If you’re feeling threatened, there’s a very good chance that’s why. So work on your relevance, not on taking shots at the leader who is. The problem with relevance is that it always threatens irrelevance. 3. JUSTIFICATION If you’re not growing and others are, you’ll probably think of 1,000 reasons why. You’re just being faithful. They’ve sold out. It’s harder where you are. You just don’t have the right people. God’s not being fair. Justification leads to stagnation. Instead of looking for justifications, look for explanations. Why are you not accomplishing your mission? Why are you not moving forward? Why are you not reaching people? Justifications lead to stagnation. Explanations lead to progress. Find the explanation, muster up the courage and faith to address the issues, and you’ll move forward. www.careynieuwhof.com .

Several years ago, I watched a documentary about a bull elephant—the type you can see at a circus—and I learned a valuable lesson that has stuck with me ever since. As I watched the program, I was amazed by the elephant’s formidable frame and intimidating tusks—whose presence causes would-be-offenders to back off—a similar response occurs when my husband struts the beach with his shirt off! But what intrigued me the most about this bull elephant was the fact that it was limited by a ball and chain which was fastened on one of its rear legs. Whenever this massive elephant would walk a few feet, it would feel the tug of the chain, stop, and go no further. This occurred several times. The bull elephant would walk, feel the tug of the chain, then it would stop and go no further. Baffled, I wondered, “Doesn’t this elephant know that it has the strength to break out from its chain and go on a rampage?” To my relief, the trainer explained the dilemma. When the bull elephant was young, circus trainers had placed a chain around its leg that was attached to a weighted ball buried in the ground. Initially, the young elephant would attempt to break free once it felt the tug of the chain, but because of its lack of strength, it failed. Sadly, as time passed and the elephant grew, it was conditioned to believe that the limitations placed upon it by the ball and chain were as far as it could ever go. Because the elephant failed to realize its strength and accepted defeat, it lived far below its potential. Does this sound familiar to you? Unknowingly, some of us can be like that bull elephant—conditioned by the limits placed on us by ourselves or others. Maybe you’ve grown up believing that you’ll never amount to much, or perhaps you’ve worn labels such as “failure”, “stupid”, “ugly” or “not good enough.” These are all lies from the enemy in an attempt to diminish you! Have you tolerated defeat long enough that it has become a way of life? You may not be bound to a ball and chain, but you find yourself bound to other things that hold you back. Perhaps you’ve stepped out in obedience to God only to feel the tug of fear, insecurity, or inadequacy, and allowed them to stop you in your tracks? If that’s you, then it’s time to stop making excuses for your captivity and loosen yourself from your chains. God did not save you to tame you! In Christ, you have all the strength you need to rise up, break free and live in victory. I love the advice Isaac gave his son Esau: “But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck” (Genesis 27:40 NLT). Notice Isaac did not say, “When God thinks it’s the right time for you to be free, He’ll take the yoke off you.” Nor did he say, “When God decides you have suffered enough, He will remove the yoke from you.” In fact, God is not even mentioned in this verse. Other translations say it this way, “But when you can’t take it anymore you’ll break loose and run free” (MSG); “But [the time shall come] when you will grow restive and break loose, and you shall tear his yoke from off your neck” (AMPC). Paraphrased, this verse could read, “When you’ve had enough, you will throw off your bondage. When you’ve stopped blaming everyone else . . . when you stop feeling sorry for yourself . . . when you no longer look back . . . when you stop blaming God . . . when you are finally frustrated with the limitations of your yoke. . . when you are tired enough to get mad, then you’ll break free.” Precious daughter, your freedom begins with a decision. A decision is not a wish, but a resolute commitment to a course of action. Understand that what you tolerate will never change. When you justify a behavior, you buy into that behavior. But you don’t have to live that way any longer—freedom and victory are within your grasp. Now, what are you going to do about it? Excuses have never set anyone free! If you’re tired of living below your potential and want to break free from self-imposed limitations, then it’s time to renew your mind and live in freedom! www.messengerinternational.org . Used by permission.

Where have you been? the mother demanded. The little girl replied, “On my way home, I met a friend who was crying because she had broken her doll.” “Oh,” said her mother, “then you stopped to help her fix the doll?” “Oh, no,” replied the little girl, “I stopped to help her cry.” When someone is hurting, do not respond with: Advice/instruction – “Let me tell you how to solve the problem.” Or, “The next time that happens you should…” Logic/reasoning – “Let me analyze the situation and tell you why it happened.” Or, “I think the reason that happened was because…” Pep talk – “You’re a winner! You’ll make it through these tough times!” Or, “I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day.” Minimize the incident – “Sure it hurt, but get things into perspective; there’s a lot going on that’s good.” Or, “Aren’t you being overly sensitive?” Anger – “That makes me so mad! They shouldn’t get away with that!” (Angry at who caused the hurt.) Or, “I’m so upset that you keep getting yourself hurt.” (Angry at the one who is hurting.) Martyr’s complex – “I had something similar happen to me.” Or, “After the kind of day I had, let me tell you what hurt really feels like.” Personal fear/anxiety – “I’m afraid that’s going to affect my life too.” Mr. “Fix it” – “I can’t believe that salesman talked to you like that. I’m calling the store right now and talking to his boss.” Or, “I know you must have been scared when you had a flat tire on that lonely road. Tomorrow I’ll take the car in and get a whole new set of tires.” Spiritualizing – “Well, you know that God will work all this out for your good.” Or, “Remember what Joseph said when his brothers mistreated him: ‘They meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.’” The best antidote for hurt is comfort. Comfort is an emotion, not a cerebral commodity. It is also very simple; if we make it complicated, we’ll miss the mark. We can comfort others through gentle words, appropriate touch, and our quiet presence. Gentle words While there are many words in the Oxford Dictionary, only about 40-50 words qualify as comforting words. The “vocabulary of comfort” includes phrases like these: “I’m really sorry that you’re hurting.” “It hurts me that you’re hurting because I love you and care for you.” “It saddens me that you felt _________ (embarrassed, rejected, belittled). I know that must have hurt you.” When comforting someone, the fewer words spoken, the better. If we say too much, we will inevitably move into the cognitive, rational realm, which will be counterproductive. When speaking words of comfort, it’s also important that our tone of voice be complementary to what is being said. Words of comfort should be spoken gently and with compassion. Appropriate touch Proper and tender acts of physical affection can also minister comfort. Depending on the relationship, a warm embrace, a hug, holding hands, or a kiss can help communicate care and concern. Quiet presence Sometimes, just being with a person who is hurting is helpful. When I was a young minister, I wasn’t sure what to say to someone who had just lost a loved one. A wise mentor taught me that the “ministry of your presence” is powerful and effective. Just being physically present communicates care and concern. So when you encounter someone who is hurting, do not do the nine items listed at the beginning of this essay. Do extend comfort. You’ll be amazed at the outcome.

Can you parent as a grandparent? Here are the thoughts of Dr. Kevin Leman from his podcast on the subject with Andrea and Doug: “Doug: Some day, we’ll all likely be grandparents. What do you do if your kids start dropping your kids off more and more and asking you to be their parent? Can you parent as a grandparent? Well, we need to know if you end up having to parent as a grandparent. That’s the question we get to ask Dr. Leman today. Doug: Well, Dr. Leman, you just told us a really interesting story about someone who emailed you a question from a grandparent. It got me thinking. I think there’s probably more people that listen to this that either are having to parent as a grandparents, or someday were going to do it. What do we need to know if we get in this situation? Dr. Leman: Well, I’ll tell you, I think there’s an awful lot of grandparents out there, number one, who are rearing their grandchildren. There’s a lot of grandparents out there whose adult children are using their parents, the child’s grandparents, in a negative way, in a way that they expect the grandparents to drop everything they’re doing and to give safe harbor to their grandchildren. Now, we have four grandchildren. Quite frankly, we go to great lengths to be with them. Two of them live in Chicago, which is not exactly next door to Tucson, Arizona. Dr. Leman: In fact, my dear wife is flying up there in a week or so to be with our daughter, Hannah, and her husband, and those two little twins because both of them work and they’re like a lot of couples. We want to be helpful parents. Let’s face it, grandparents, you are mature. You’ve gone through life. You know a few things. By the time we get to the grandparent stage, we’re pretty steady and predictable, and again, a safe harbor. Dr. Leman: As I was telling you the other day, I got a question from a woman and I really felt so sad because the parent comes and drops off her daughter and leaves her there. I mean, leaves her there. She leaves her there. She doesn’t say, “I’ll be back tomorrow night.” She just leaves them and takes off. Grandparents never know when she’s going to come back. It can be two weeks later. It can be a week later. It could be three days later. Here’s a daughter who has absolutely no respect for her parents, and she uses those grandparents, their good will, good nature, and their love for their grandchild. You tell me, what would you do? I know what I told her to do, but I’d love to know what you guys would do if you’re the grandparents and you have a daughter, doesn’t have a husband, is single mom and she brings by this little granddaughter, drops her off and you never know when she’s going to come back. What would you do? Andrea: Oh, I’d be taking care of that grand baby, loving on it and just treating it like, “Well, you’re here now and as long as you’re here I’m mom, I guess.” Dr. Leman: Well, yeah. I think that’s how most people would respond, that, “This is my granddaughter and I love her and I want what’s best for her. Yes, we’ll take her to school. Yes, we’ll pack her lunches. Yes, we’ll give her money if she needs it,” and all those kind of things. Andrea: I’d probably even be considering adopting her. Dr. Leman: Well, I tell you, here’s what I shot back to grandma. I said, “You know what? This is a situation that doesn’t have a happy ending. The best thing you can possibly do is to start refusing taking your granddaughter until you reach an agreement with your daughter that you have guardianship of that nine year old.” This daughter is … God only knows what she’s doing. What she’s doing is not good. I can tell you that from the kind of things that the grandmother had shared with me. Again, parents, it’s a catch 22. You want to help your grandchild, but you best help your grandchild by getting guardianship of that nine year old. Now, that costs money. You have to have cooperation with your daughter. Whether your daughter caves in and gives it to you is up for grabs, but you can’t go through life just having somebody drop a youngster, someone you love, off at your house and not knowing where she is and when she’s going to be back. Dr. Leman: What if you guys have plans to go someplace and maybe see one of your other children, or one of you is still employed and have employment responsibilities. It’s a no win. As tough as that advice is for people, the best solution is to try to get guardianship. Once you have guardianship, then you can go ahead and you can really rear that nine year old as the parent. Then, mom has visiting rights, so to speak, for lack of a better term. She sees the kid’s mother, but you can imagine this child is just nine years old. What is she going to be like at 14? She needs somebody that’s going to really model stability and currently mom is just all over the place. Again, I’m very suspect that she’s a druggie and doing a lot of things that she shouldn’t be doing. Doug: If the grandparents refuse the daughter unless they get guardianship and the daughter refuses, what’s going to happen to that … my grandchild? Dr. Leman: See, this is where a situation like this we feel like we’re over the barrel. It’s just like the parent that writes in and says, “My son refuses to take his medication. It’s really important he takes his medication.” Well, the kid’s got you over the barrel. Kids and adults know when they have you over the barrel. They’ll work you. People aren’t for using. I know that. Is this easy to pull off? No. It’s not easy at all. Is it simple? No. It’s not simple either, Leman. This is difficult stuff, but you have to have a heart to heart with daughter. I mean, I’m suspect that the grandparents are also helping the daughter financially. They help her financially and she takes off on a two week binge someplace, hit and miss at work and all that. It’s a crisis in the making. I’ve awfully said, “I’d rather force a blowout than watch it slow leak itself to death.” These are tough questions. Most of your parents who are listening are saying, “Oh my goodness. I’m glad that’s not our situation.” It’s tough. Andrea: Is there any hope that by the grandparents standing up and saying to the daughter, “Well, you need to give us guardianship if we’re going to keep doing this,” that she might actually recognize what she’s doing and she just is waiting for somebody to hold her accountable and she might- Dr. Leman: She might. Andrea: Come out of this- Dr. Leman: She might. Andrea: Behavior? Dr. Leman: Again, permissiveness reigns in our society, and caving in and giving in. Very few people draw lines and says, “This is no longer manageable for us.” Imagine, grandparents living life and all of a sudden, without notice, there’s no phone call or anything, she just drops her off at the house and leaves. I mean just totally non-responsible behavior. You get the authorities involved, then there’s more problems down the line. I think this is something you want to try to solve as grandparents and cut a deal with your daughter for one specific reason, and that is you want to give that granddaughter, in this case, the best predictable, safe environment where she’s going to feel loved and she has some stability. Nine year olds need that, believe me. Doug: You know what I really appreciate about this example is, for me, you have used this phrase before, “I prefer a blowout than a slow leak, and people are not to be taken advantage of.” It’s like, “Yeah, I get it now.” If I’m ever being taken advantage of, I should force the issue instead of just limping along like this. In all of life, whether you’re a grandparent or not, that’s great. Doug: Well, before we finish, ’cause I have another question for grandparents here, I want to take this moment for all our podcast listeners, again, to tell you about the eBook special, thank from Baker Books, for you and you alone, a book by Dr. Leman called Born to Win for $1.99, June four to ten of 2019. Dr. Leman, I’m embarrassed to say so, I haven’t read Born to Win. I don’t know if I’ve even heard about it, which [crosstalk 00:08:37]- Andrea: I don’t know if I’ve heard of it either. Dr. Leman: Well- Doug: What is this one about? Dr. Leman: Who do you suppose is born to win? Take a guess. Doug: Andrea- Andrea: The baby- Doug: ‘Cause she’s sweet. Dr. Leman: Nope. Doug: The middle child, ’cause we’re both middle children. Dr. Leman: No. Andrea: The only child. Doug: No, no, ’cause we’re middle children. No? Dr. Leman: The firstborn. Doug: Ah. Andrea: We’re all born to win. Dr. Leman: The firstborn. They are born to win. Andrea: Yeah. Dr. Leman: It’s all about firstborn children. If you’re a firstborn- Doug: So this is- Dr. Leman: Or if you have a firstborn, you might really enjoy reading Born to Win. Doug: It does help to get behind their eyeballs and understand it, doesn’t it? Born to Win, $1.99 June four to ten of 2019. Now, favorite part of the segment, Straight Talk with Dr. Kevin Leman. Dr. Leman: You know, you don’t have to walk very far to find a smart mouthed kid these days. You’ll find them in schools. You’ll find them on a playground. This is so difficult to say to you parents. You may even find them in your home. You know, kids today view themselves as social equals. They don’t really see authority in a proper manner. Parents, quite frankly, don’t act in authority. They tend to be permissive and then they swing to authoritarian. We’ll discuss that one at another time, but the point is is that these kids know where you are, how you operate. I’ll tell you, they can pull your chain. The question is, when your child is really smart mouth to you, ask yourself this question. What was the purpose of nature of that? Was it to show you that he or she is the boss, that they want to simply just dis your authority? Dr. Leman: It could be, but the point is, words hurt and you don’t have to just come back immediately. If you do, you engage in fighting. Remember, fighting is an act of what? Cooperation. After the hurtful words, go about your business. I’m telling you, I don’t care if your kid is six or 16, it’s going to be a very short period of time when they come to you and say, “Mommy, would you get me this?” Or, “Mom, can I go over to John’s house?” Maybe they’re driving the car. “Hey dad, can I take the car?” Well, a simply dosage of vitamin N will get your son or daughter’s attention. What does that mean? A simple, “No. I don’t feel like getting you anything right now.” “Honey, no, you can’t take the car.” Turn your back. Walk away. Dr. Leman: Now, again, do not engage in battle. You have gold in your back pocket, parents, okay? I call this parental poker. You have four aces in your back pocket as well. You don’t have to always play those cards, you just have to have the assurance that those cards are there. Quite frankly, your kid wouldn’t have underwear on right now if you didn’t buy it for him. Who’s kidding who? You are in full authority over your children. Dr. Leman: Now, here’s the fun part, I think. They’re going to dig. They’re going to say, “Mom, what’s wrong with you? You always let me go to John’s house. You always let me do this.” Let them really squirm and figure out that maybe what they said an hour and a half earlier was very inappropriate. Don’t tell them right off the bat. Again, let them sort of guess and figure it out. Finally, he or she will figure it out. “Oh, I’m sorry about what I said this morning.” “Well, honey, I’m glad you could say you’re sorry. That’s really important.” “Well, can I take the car now?” “No, but we’ll revisit that another day.” That’s Straight Talk from the good old Dr. Leman. I’m telling you, this stuff works. Doug: Okay, Dr. Leman. Here’s my question. For the grandparents that are not in that dire of a situation but we do have the classic, “Truly the parents are super permissive and when they come over to my house, my grandparents just are out of control. I don’t agree with their parenting style. What do I do when I have them in my house for five hours or maybe overnight? What do I do with their unruly behavior?” Dr. Leman: Well the simple sentence is, “Honey, in our home we don’t do that,” works, whether it’s putting your feet on the furniture or whatever. Here’s the interesting thing that I’ve observed over the years, Doug and Andrea, that kids can go from one environment to another with a completely different set of rules and they adjust to it. Grandparents, don’t lower your expectations for your grandchildren. I would tell you, when the grandchildren come over, okay, have fun. Do a little thought about, “Hey, what could we do with … grandkids are coming over.” Maybe your kids have said, “Hey, we want to take off for a weekend. Would you take the kids for a weekend?” “Okay, we’d be glad to.” Dr. Leman: Well, rather than just sit around grandma and grandpa’s house, which a lot of grandparents are very comfortable in doing, plan a couple things. In fact, asking your grandchild’s opinion of, “Honey, would each of you give grandma and grandpa one idea of things you think might be fun for all of us to do this coming weekend? I know you’re coming over Friday night and you’re going to be here til Saturday late, so come up with a couple things and grandma … grandpa and I will talk about it and we’ll figure something out,” so that time with your grandchildren is meaningful and you can have a fun time together. Doug: The recommendation is make it fun when they do come over and keep your standards going, that they will adjust to being at your house with whatever standards- Dr. Leman: They will. Doug: You have. Dr. Leman: They will adjust to whatever your expectations are. Doug: When I think about when we have some of our nieces and nephews come over, they do adapt to our behavior. Andrea: Yeah. Doug: It is interesting. You’re right. Well, thank you, Dr. Leman. You might hear a frog in our background. We have a frog in our garage that we cannot find. If you hear something croaking- Dr. Leman: I love it. Doug: If you hear something croaking, it’s not Andrea. Andrea: No, it’s not. Doug: It’s actually a frog. Dr. Leman: Okay, people, Doug and Andrea are hillbillies. You remember the old hillbillies? The Beverly Hillbillies- Doug: Oh, come on- Dr. Leman: These are Oregon hillbillies. Doug: Come on. Dr. Leman: They got a frog in there. Doug: We can’t find it. We’ve been looking for like a week. Dr. Leman: You know why- Doug: It tells you how cluttered our garage is. Dr. Leman: You know what the frog said? He said, “Pardon me, I have a man in my throat.” www.birthorderguy.com . Used by permission.

If you’ve read the Old Testament then you may remember the story of King Hezekiah. He was a reformer, a righteous king whom we praise for his trust in God and desire to save his nation. There was no one like him (II Kings 18:5-7). But sometimes, even in the best of men, there are flaws that stand out that not only mark a man, but help define him. Hezekiah was such a man. Though I admire Hezekiah very much I find him a bit of a tragic character because of one overriding flaw in his life. Hezekiah was tragically shortsighted. How so? In these three ways: He was shortsighted about his mortality He was shortsighted about his kingdom He was shortsighted about the future In case you wonder if these things are all that important, consider that each of these failures in his perspective often plague us as well. Consider that God revealed to Hezekiah that he was going to die. After weeping bitterly and pleading with the Lord, God sent the prophet Isaiah to Hezekiah to tell him, “I have heard your prayer. I have seen your tears. Behold, I will heal you” (II Kings 20:5). God added 15 years to Hezekiah’s life. But what was the result? During that last 15 years Hezekiah had a son named Manasseh. Manasseh was not only evil, he was so evil that God visited his judgment against Judah, citing Manasseh as a reason why Judah was to be judged (II Kings 21:10-15). Hezekiah’s shortsightedness about his own mortality lead to the pinnacle moment where there was no turning back from God’s wrath. Hezekiah was also shortsighted about his kingdom. When envoys from Babylon paid him a visit, Hezekiah showed them all of his riches and kingly glory. “There was nothing in his house or in all his realm that Hezekiah did not show them” (II Kings 20:13). Without realizing it, Hezekiah had given Babylon reason to look upon his kingdom with lust. So much so that Isaiah returned to Hezekiah, telling him that the riches of his kingdom would one day be carried away to Babylon and that, “There shall be nothing left” (II Kings 20:17). Yet, what was Hezekiah’s response? “Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, ‘The word of the LORD that you have spoken is good.’ For he thought, ‘Why not, if there will be peace and security in my days?’” (II Kings 20:19). Did you catch it? Hezekiah was only concerned with his kingdom—not the future kingdom his descendants would rule. Just like his shortsightedness with his mortality, Hezekiah didn’t think past his own wall, whether it was the wall he faced as he prayed, or the walls that enclosed his riches and glory, or the wall on which was mounted the door to the future. Application Hezekiah truly was a great king. But his focus on his present blinded him to planning for his kingdom’s future. So what can we learn from him so that we don’t repeat his mistakes? First, your influence does not end with your death. The life you live now has an impact on those who come after you. What legacy will you leave them? Last year I wrote a letter to my descendants. It is one way I want my life for Christ to impact not only my children, but those who come after them. Second, do not, as Hezekiah, take pride in the blessings of life. Rather, fixate yourself on the blesser of life. Hezekiah trusted God during the struggle of war. But he forgot to trust God for the struggles of the future. How can you trust God for the future beyond you? Just as King David left of wealth of resources for his son, Solomon to build the temple, what can you leave those after you that will encourage them to press forward in a walk of faith? Shortsightedness may not seem like a significant thing. But as we see in the kings of Judah, it served a tragic end. Live for today, but more so for tomorrow. For one day you will look back and see what your influence has done. It will either bring God glory, or end up with you wishing for a do over. guywithabible.com Used by permission.

To take back your mind, you have to humble your heart. Preached at Elevation Church. Sermon notes by sermons.love.

“If I have become so pathetically dulled that I hold freedom as my right and the privileges of liberty as my due, I can stand beside the stilled graves of a thousand soldiers fallen in defense of freedom and not feel a thing. And my most solemn prayer is that I will never be this.” “Rights’ are ‘privileges,’ and if I am arrogant enough to demand the former without respecting the latter I will lose both.” “I think we need to consider a radical rewrite of any form of patriotism that serves the individual at the expense of the community, as that is nothing more than patriotism to one’s own small and solitary cause.” “It is at the precise moment that I take something for granted that I have placed myself in the precarious position of losing that very thing. And if that thing I risk losing is liberty, taking it for granted is foolishness of the most foolish sort.” “The birthplace of anarchy is the cemetery of freedom.” “I would entertain the apparently fading idea that patriotism that serves the self is greed dressed in the garments of liberty and adorned with the fashion accessories of other associated patriotic notions.” “Rare are the handful of principles that incessantly drive us to stand even when we face the stark realization that we will likely perish in the standing. And rarer still is the person who will surrender all to protect such principles. Yet, the rudimentary principles of freedom and liberty pristinely untarnished by greed and selfishness took captive the hearts of simple people and raised this nation up from untamed wilderness and unchecked tyranny. And let us all be warned that without renewed adherence to these principles, we will rapidly return this nation to untamed wilderness and unchecked tyranny.” “Real patriotism embraces the wholly immovable belief that without freedom, the essence of the human soul and the life-breath of the human spirit is doomed to perish for lack of space and absence of light.” “The most elusive and ultimately impossible act of liberation is freedom from sin and self, and no document or declaration of man regardless of how exquisitely penned can do that. Such an astonishing act of liberation could only have been penned in one place: the cross.” “A nation aimlessly drifting away from God is a nation for which prayer is a rudder and praise is a sail. And it is the man or woman on their knees that builds the former and gives wind to the latter.” “I am thankful that there are those among us who have sacrificed dearly on behalf of us. And I ardently pray to God that I might be less like myself and more like them.” “Freedom brings the privilege to make decisions and the need to learn once again how to rightly make them.” “The sacrifice ‘of’ self for the greater good is the greatest calling imaginable, and it is the bedrock of the greatest nations. The sacrifice ‘for’ self is the most pathetic calling imaginable, and it is the quicksand within which nations perish.” “Because we weren’t there when the price was paid doesn’t mean that the price wasn’t paid. And if we don’t believe that, maybe we need to consider the solider who never came home so that we could.” “Freedom is a privilege, not a right. And as such, I have no right to ask anything of it, but I have the privilege of giving everything to it.” “Somewhere along the way, someone sacrificed enough to crush the rot of tyranny in order to plant the seeds of freedom. And if we don’t carefully tend to the harvest we will eventually inherit the tyranny.” “May the many monuments that abound remind me of the desperate need for courage, the inestimable value of valor, the honor evoked of sacrifice, and the fact that a life spent in the service of self embodies none of these.” “Without freedom, the soul of man perishes long before the body dies. And if nothing else, the haunting specter of a soulless humanity should stir us to patriotism of the greatest sort.” “If I don’t passionately desire freedom for all of my fellowmen, it’s likely that I haven’t been sufficiently freed from my selfishness so that I might see their captivity.” “There are those who left the confines of comfort to fight the battles from which they might not return, for to do anything less was to assume that they could do nothing more. And a true patriot will never succumb to the rot of such cowardice.” www.craiglounsbrough.com . Used by permission.

Do you need to make a decision about something that seems so exciting, but you can’t seem to shake the hesitation in your heart? We have a family friend named Wes who’s been fascinated with pilots and planes since he was a little boy. So he was absolutely thrilled when his dreams of becoming a flight-school instructor became a reality. But a few years ago, it all became a bit more complicated. The owner of the flight school decided to offer Wes the opportunity to buy him out. It was an amazing opportunity. But a scary one. One that created a bit of hesitation for Wes. Our family spent lots of time processing this decision with Wes. We helped him with assessing the costs of this endeavor: the cost to him personally, the cost to his young wife, and the cost of everyday pressures people who own their own businesses feel. As we were talking with him one day, I shared a picture I keep in my mind when making decisions. Imagine this opportunity as an amazingly attractive but fast-moving river. There’s so much that looks extremely appealing about this river that you’re going to be tempted to jump right in. But once in the river, you have diminished your ability to make decisions. That river is moving so fast that it will take you where it is going. And if you haven’t carefully determined in advance whether you want to go all the places where the river flows, you’ll be in trouble. “He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.” Isaiah 49:10b (NIV) College students declaring their majors should trace the places that career will take them. If you think you want to major in chemistry but hate working in a lab or hospital, trace that river’s path before jumping in. Moms thinking about a new business opportunity should trace out all the expenses of getting started, including upfront costs, childcare and inventory. If a mom’s desire is to stay at home with the kids, but this business will require her to be gone every night of the week, trace that river’s path before jumping in. Before jumping into the river, you have the ability to walk up and down the banks of the river with ease. You have the ability to stick your toes in and consider what this water will be like. You can talk to other wise people who know things about this river. And sit quietly listening for God’s voice, reading His Word, looking for confirmation on what to do next. But once you jump in, the current has a way of demanding your full attention. It’s not that you can’t make adjustments once you’re in the river; it’s just a lot harder to go a different direction once you’re in it. Several verses describing God’s leading, directing and guiding beside the water have been great comfort to me: • “He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water” (Isaiah 49:10b). • “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake” (Psalm 23:1-3, NKJV). • “With weeping they shall come, and with pleas for mercy I will lead them back, I will make them walk by brooks of water, in a straight path in which they shall not stumble, for I am a father to Israel” (Jeremiah 31:9a, ESV). These are comforting to me … because stepping out in faith is talked about a lot in the Christian world — and I believe in that wholeheartedly. I believe God clearly instructs some to jump right in. But that doesn’t mean God calls everyone to jump right in. Sometimes the greater act of faith is to let God lead us, talk to us and instruct us beside the water. With our friend Wes, after he traced the path and assessed where his choices would lead, he decided not to buy the flight school. It’s a choice he’s so glad he made then, now that he’s a full-time pilot and father. Let’s slow down today, sweet friend. Because while God absolutely does have invitations where He wants us to say yes, we need to be sure the invitation in front of us is ours before we jump all of the way in. Dear Lord, I want to really think about this river before jumping in. Reveal anything I might not be seeing right now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. TRUTH FOR TODAY Proverbs 14:12, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (ESV)