Have you ever run away from something, and I don’t mean something that might threaten your life? I mean, has there been a time in your life when you ran because you didn’t want what was in front of you, so you did a 180 and took off like lightening in the opposite direction? Most of us, if we’ve lived for any length of time, can remember at least one of those times, maybe even more than one. As Christians, that running most likely involved running from God. Not too many believers would say that in some way at some time they didn’t run from what God was telling them to do. After all, there is a little Jonah in all of us. Abraham Kuyper, the journalist, once wrote, “Our heart is continually inclined to rebel against the Lord our God. So ready to rebel, that O, so gladly, were it but for a single day, we would take from His hands the reins of His supreme rule, imagining that we would manage things far better and direct them far more effectively than God.” What do we do when we find ourselves running? What do we do when we see someone else running? If it’s us who’s running, chances are that we don’t even see it. But if it’s someone that we simply know, either from church or just an acquaintance, we may be tempted to sit in judgment, as if it’s simply their weak constitution or their lax moral integrity that might cause such a detour. We might simply shake our heads in feigned remorse, thinking, “What is he thinking? Doesn’t he know that he can’t run from God?” If it’s a loved one, maybe a child or a spouse or sibling, the pain can be almost immobilizing. Suddenly all memories of our own course changes are almost non-existent, and the only things we can think are, “What is he doing? Doesn’t he know that he can’t run from God?” I don’t know….can we? Let me remind you of how Jonah did. In Jonah 1:1, we read: Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah… That means that God literally let Jonah know exactly what He was thinking. Then in verse 2, God said to Jonah, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” This was not what Jonah expected. After all, he was the Lord’s prophet. He was supposed to go and direct his prophecies to the nation of Israel. He wasn’t supposed to go to Israel’s enemies and prophesy so that they might be saved. What in the world was God thinking? Maybe we should think of this in terms that are closer to home. Maybe the little Jonah in you might sound more like: “God doesn’t want me in this marriage! He wants me happy, and I’m not happy here! What is God thinking?” Or maybe this: “God wouldn’t want me to miss out on a better lifestyle. He says that I will get the desires of my heart, and my heart desires that car or that dress or that house (that I can’t afford). He wouldn’t keep me from it, would He? What is God thinking?” Or maybe our child’s little Jonah says this: “I’m sick of living under my parents’ thumbs! God would want me to be independent and do my own thing, no matter who I hurt in the meantime! He wants me happy, doesn’t He? What is God thinking?” The little Jonah in all of us might say slightly different words, but it’s pretty much the same thing. All of us have listened to the little Jonah some time or another, and we all run for exactly the same reason that Jonah ran. Verse 3 says, But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. The truth is that this running isn’t literally from God, since we, as His children, are always and forever His and in His loving care. However, what we can and do run from is what the literal translation says is the “face of the Lord.” Jonah was trying to get as far away from where he would be confronted with all that God is. When we run, we run from the same thing, which generally means we run from the church or our church family or anything else that might remind us of who God is. There is a reason that many have called Satan the “travel agent of distraction.” If he can get us away from the “presence of God” or the “face of God,” then he can also deceive us into thinking that we can get away from it, which consequently keeps us from healing and love and peace. Warren Wiersbe wrote in his book, Be Amazed, “It’s possible to be out of the will of God and still have circumstances appear to be working on your behalf. You might be rebelling against God and still have a false sense of security that includes a good night’s sleep. However, God in his providence was preparing for Jonah a great fall.” But the good news is that God always provides a fish, doesn’t He? He always provides exactly the right storm at exactly the right time so that even though we may be distracted temporarily, we are never permanently lost. Jesus said in John 6:39, And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose none of all that he has given me. If you are running from the face of God today—refusing to go to church, avoiding your Christian friends, finding every excuse in the book for not getting involved with your believing family—genuinely reflect on the little Jonah in you. God will not lose you, but I can promise you that it is no fun in the belly of the fish! Bow before the throne of the One who will never leave you nor forsake you and come home. Unless it is God you are running toward, you’re headed for the storm. And if it is a loved one who is running from God’s loving face, take heart and never lose hope. The promise that Jesus gave in John applies to every one of His children. The fish is coming. Keep praying and keep your eyes fixed upward. God will bring him home. After all, there is a little Jonah is all of us, but there is a great God who owns our hearts! www.debwaterbury.com . Used by permission.

Recently, my loving husband had surgery to remove a brain tumor. When we learned of the tumor, some doctors were moving fast and some painfully slow. I experienced two prayer miracles during this time. While I was texting my frustration to a sincere prayer warrior, medical professionals started calling on Gary’s cell phone giving us the information and care we needed. I have never had a prayer request answered so quickly, and it happened twice during that day. Gary’s successful surgery was two days later. I value the gift of praying friends. In Luke chapter 9 is the surprising story of Jesus taking Peter, John and James to the Mount of Transfiguration to pray. We don’t think of the Mount of Transfiguration as a story about prayer, but that is what Luke was emphasizing. But unfortunately, they fell asleep instead of engaging in prayer. Whenever I read this story my heart is saddened for Jesus. How could they not see the importance of a prayer invitation with Jesus? But, if I am honest I have to admit I am more like the disciples in their prayer slumber. I often have trouble discerning the importance of and time for prayer. Unless I am listening very closely I can miss the call to come away with Jesus. I can easily practice a life of prayerlessness like these disciples. Peter, John and James eyewitnessed Jesus’ majesty on the Mount of Transfiguration. God the Father called them to listen carefully to what he was revealing about his beloved son. Sadly, the disciples failed to comprehend that this lesson was important. Deeming the prayer lesson unworthy or boring, they fell asleep. This would not be the last time the disciples fell asleep when Jesus called an important prayer meeting. They also fell asleep while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane the night Jesus was arrested. Matthew and Mark’s version of the Mount of Transfiguration leave out that they climbed the mountain to pray. This is foundational information if you want to understand the priority Jesus is putting on prayer. Check out Luke 9:28-36. Now about eight days after these sayings he took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray. And as he was praying, the appearance of his face was altered, and his clothing became dazzling white. And behold, two men were talking with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his departure, which he was about to accomplish at Jerusalem. Now Peter and those who were with him were heavy with sleep, but when they became fully awake they saw his glory and the two men who stood with him. And as the men were parting from him Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is good that we are here. Let us make three tents, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah”—not knowing what he said. As he was saying these things a cloud came and over shadowed them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. And a voice came out of the cloud saying, “This is my Son, my Chosen One, listen to him!” And when the voice had spoken Jesus was found alone. And they kept silent and told no one in those days anything of what they had seen. ESV Jesus modeled the importance of prayer. Sometimes in scripture Jesus teaches us what to do, but sometimes he modeled how to walk with the Father. If the Son of God needed the refreshment of prayer, how much more do we need it? It sometimes seems like Jesus would rather pray than eat or sleep. Even though he was fully God, Jesus sought strength in prayer. Jesus blazed a trail for us to follow by his belief in the trustworthiness of the Father. Jesus demonstrated that prayer is not about getting what we want; it is about agreeing with the Father’s plans and purposes. On the Mount of Transfiguration and in the Garden of Gethsemane we see Jesus’ deep commitment to the Father. He could only do that because he confidently knew the Father was trustworthy. He knew God’s plans were good and perfect. Prayer for him on those nights when his friends fell asleep was about surrendering to Calvary. Jesus often retired to a solitary place for prayer. During these quiet moments Jesus expressed and cemented his commitment to the Father’s will. Sometimes God’s purposes may appear scary to us, but we need to realize that doing things our own way will not satisfy. In the end God’s plans will not be thwarted and we may hurt ourselves more if we continue chasing our own selfish desirers. When Peter awoke on the Mount of Transfiguration he completely missed that Moses and Elijah were there to prepare Jesus for his departure in Jerusalem. This is why he was spouting such nonsense about building three tabernacles. With a voice coming out of a cloud God’s rebuke was frightening. When the disciples awoke in the Garden of Gethsemane they were ill-prepared for what would happen next. On the night Jesus was arrested they fled in terror. Peter denied he even knew Jesus. 1) What might have changed if the disciples had stayed awake, and prayed with Jesus? 2) What are some of the costs of our prayerlessness? Luke 9:32b says, “…but when they became fully awake they saw his glory…” We need to fully awaken from our spiritual slumber. When we don’t heed Jesus’ call we miss more than a blessing and comfort. We miss seeing the glory of the living God.

Shame doesn’t have to hold you back. In Unashamed, Christine Caine will share how her own journey through shame showed her how God had something better in store for her–and that He has something better for you, too. Find your purpose, learn to defeat shame, and become the person God wants you to be as you discover what it means to live #Unashamed. www.lifechurch.tv/open . God took out half my thyroid and took out a lump that was benign so thank God I’m cancer free. That’s fine. But I want to say this thing. When the doctor called to say Christine you have cancer I know she was starting to kind of sound like she was freaking out, so I thought I better go into pastoral care to make sure that you know. And I remember saying to her Leslie, it’s okay. Cancer can’t kill me. Life will kill me. You just need to live long enough and you’ll die. I don’t know anyone that’s gotten out of life alive. So death is the ultimate statistic. One out of one will die. So you don’t want to miss this series is all I’m saying. I’m gonna be tuning in as I do every week to your pastor. I’m pumped up, fired up and ready to go now. You all know I’m both Greek and a woman. So I only speak three ways. Hard, fast and continuously. So strap yourself in and no matter where you are at any one of our Life Church locations, if you need an interpreter, this is an Australian accent. This is how the colonies speak. You threw the tea out in Boston. But the rest of us, we actually speak the Queen’s English. So this is what it is like. You will catch up. I want to share my heart. I’m with family today. And this church is like home for us. And I want to share with you there’s some thoughts about the subject that I have struggled most with. I turned 52 recently and that is awesome. It’s a great milestone. My father died when he was 52 and so for me to reach the age of 52 was very, very significant and everyday is a gift from God. But there’s been one issue more than any other issue that I’ve had to struggle with most of my life. And I have to still make a daily conscious decision to really not spiral down into this issue. And you know, I think it’s one of the most important issues that scripture talks about. I think there’s not one person that’s listening today that this won’t pertain to. We’re gonna turn to the book of Genesis because why not start at the beginning? We’ve got a whole 30 minutes together so if I read really fast we’ll get to Revelation by the time that I’m done. You’ve got nothing better going today anyway. So I know that that’s happening. But Genesis chapter two, we’re gonna go to Genesis 2:25 right through to Genesis 3:17. Now that could be more Bible than some of you have read all year, I know that. But that’s okay. I’m gonna catch you up to your Bible reading plan that I know that you’re on so you would have gotten through in a day. But we’re gonna go to Genesis 2:25. The Bible says and the man and his wife were both naked. I got some of you right there if you’ve never been in church before and you’re like they talk about this in church? Yes, it’s in the Bible there you go. The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden”? And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God”. Is that not the desire of most of humanity? Knowing good and evil. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. And she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you”? And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself”. He said, “Who told you you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat”? The man said, “The woman”! I’m just saying very few things have changed in life. You all do what you want with that. But there it is. “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit..”. So it wasn’t just the woman’s fault, it’s not God’s fault because God gave the woman to the man. Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done”? The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate”. If you’re kind of wondering where the origin of the blame culture is, it didn’t just start today on Twitter, it was right there in the Garden of Eden. It is not my fault! It is this person’s fault! It is the system’s! It’s anybody’s fault but my fault. It started right there. But I think it’s really interesting that we start Genesis 2:25, the very last verse in the Bible before we step over into humanity’s fall is a very, very important verse. Because God wants us to know there is one thing I’m going to take the time to put in holy, I’m gonna write it in this so that you my people created in my image, are going to know that there is one thing I created you to never know what it feels like. There is one thing that I created you to never know the burden of. The Bible says Adam and Eve were naked and they knew no shame. Is that interesting to you? That God could have said they knew no fear. They knew no joy. They knew no peace. They knew no, I mean he could have picked anything out of the plethora of human emotions to put in there. And he puts only one thing in scripture before the fall. I created you to never know the burden of shame. So if I was the enemy, which I’m not contrary to what some might think, but if I was the enemy, and I wanted to take out the only thing created in the image of God, then I would want to make sure I put on them the one thing they were never created to bear the burden of so that they would be rendered ineffective. So that they would be rendered fruitless. Because the enemy is after your fruitfulness. See if he can’t get you, if you are saved, if you are born again, if you are sealed with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption, the enemy is not gonna get your soul. But if he can heap shame on you, he will render you ineffective so the people on the other side of your obedience will not be reached with the gospel. It is about our fruitfulness. So much of what is happening in the world today is an attack of the enemy on our fruitfulness. And I’m gonna show you this from scripture. So the enemy comes into the garden. And here he comes in. And the very first thing in the Bible, the very first words that we read from the enemy in scripture is a question. And the question that the enemy asks right here in the book of Genesis is pertinent to us today in 2018 across the earth. The enemy comes into the garden and he asks that one question that begins it all. Did God really say? You see when the enemy wants to untangle your life, he will begin by undermining the authority of the word of God. He will always begin by questioning did God really say? Is that really in the Bible? Is that what really God says about marriage? Is that what God says about monogamy? Is that what God says about family? Is that what God says about society? Is that what God says about the best way to … Did God really say that? Or perhaps if we take it and put it in the washing machine, and the dishwasher and the dryer, turn it upside down, translate it from Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic, and make it say what you want to say, did God really say is the question for every generation. Oh it’s the question on the table for this generation. Did God really say scripture is inherent? Did God really say Jesus is the only way to God? Surely, there are so many other options. Did God really say that that is relevant in 2018? I mean really Christine. Culture is so different today. I mean there was no technology, there was no internet, how could God have known the internet was going to be? Did God really say is the foundational question that if you don’t get that answered, your whole life will begin to unravel in so many ways. The way we see so many things unraveling in society today in every sphere politically, morally, socially, environmentally, economically, we see it in every sphere of society. It is beginning to unravel because people don’t know what God really said. Now God’s saying I created you to never know shame. If you don’t know what I said about you, if you don’t know how I created this world and the order I created, then I’m telling you what is gonna come upon you will be a great shame because if you don’t know who you are, in whose image you were created, and what you are on the earth for, you’re gonna spend all of your life chasing the wrong thing. Feeling like you’re not good enough. Feeling like you don’t measure up. Feeling like somehow you are deficient. And everything in society is created to echo that message. You’re not enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not good enough. You’re not talented enough. You are not enough of whoever you are. The only problem is if you don’t know who you are and whose image you’re created in, you will constantly be trying to get your significance, your security, your value, and your esteem from other people or things and they were never created to satisfy you. And the inevitable consequence of it all is that you will end up full of shame. I wonder what it would be like to not know shame. Because I personally don’t know. Any moment in my life. I was the kid that was left in a hospital unnamed and unwanted, rejected by my biological mother. I don’t even know who she was. Or my biological father. My birth certificate doesn’t have a name on it. It says child name, unnamed. I grew up in the poorest zip code in my state in Australia. Second generation migrant Grecian. That was before My Big Fat Greek Wedding when it was not cool to be Greek in Australia. So marginalized because of my ethnicity, my gender, in a culture that did not esteem women. Where I was always told Christine why can’t you be like all the other girls? You know my mother would drop me off to ballet classes and come and pick me up and I’d be on the soccer field playing soccer with all the boys. Or drop me off to play with Barbie dolls in K-Mart and I’d be reading books. And it was like Christine, you’re not enough. Christine no man’s ever gonna want to marry you if you’re smarter than him. No man’s ever gonna want to marry you if you don’t want to dress like this, look like… I never felt enough. Always shamed because I was different. And then I was sexually abused most weeks of my life from the time I was, before I went to school right through into my mid-teen years and so many of us today all across every campus know exactly what that is like. We have a world venting so much angst and pain and shame that has come because of the injustice of abuse. Whether it’s sexual or emotional or physical, verbal. But most of us in some way shape or form know what that is like. The word abuse means to use an object for a purpose for which it was never designed. And all of us in some way, shape or form by this world have been used for a purpose for which God never designed us. As a result of that shame has come into our soul. The sense that there’s something wrong with me. And we have a world that is full of anxiety. That is full of fear. A world that is medicated at unprecedented levels because people feel fundamentally there’s something wrong with me. I don’t measure up. You see when you first begin to be abused you think what is happening to you is wrong. But when it continues to happen and nobody stops it, you then begin to believe the lie that there’s something wrong with me. That’s why it’s happening. I cannot remember a time in my life where I did not think there’s something wrong with me. There’s something wrong with me and if I am not consistently in the word of God, and if I’m not consistently renewing my mind according to the word of God, I’m only ever one thought away from going back into that way of thinking there’s something wrong with me. My default if I don’t arrest it is I must have done something bad. There’s something wrong with me. And so many of us fundamentally feel this sense of longing, what is wrong with me? What can fix me? And there is only one that can do that. And his name is the Lord Jesus Christ ’cause you and I were created by God for a relationship with God. And it’s Jesus that connects us to God. It’s Jesus that connects us to the grace of God. You and I are created in the image of God! This might be revelation for some of you because you may not know this. You may have grown up like I did in Australia. We grew up in a school system where this is what they taught us! Now you have to be highly educated to believe this! You have to have a lot of letters after your name! But in my school system in Australia, they taught us that many, many moons ago we knew total nothing of the nothing. Two nothings came together, and went bang! And there it was. My great grandfather, the cockroach. He was awesome. And then that cockroach just walked around planet earth for a while and had a genetic mutation, went bang and there it was a frog. Then the frog just hopped around planet earth, it had a genetic mutation, went bang and there it was the ape. And the ape was walking around Oklahoma City on a really hot summer’s day. And it went to the hairdresser, had a cut, shave, and blow dry and here we are today. It was awesome. You need a lot of faith to believe that. But essentially we have raised a generation by telling them that you came from nothing, you live for no reason. And you are going nowhere. Now if you tell a generation long enough that they came from nothing, that they live for no reason, and they’re going nowhere, why would you be surprised when they begin to live like they came from nothing, they live for no reason and they’re going nowhere? But I’ve got some good news for Life Church today. You didn’t come from nothing! You are created in the image of almighty God! You are filled with God given destiny! You are filled with God given purpose! God, has a planned purpose and destiny for your life, Genesis 1:26 and 27 has probably never been more important in light of current debates in society. In his image he created them. Male and female. We are not genderless. God went to the trouble of telling us that he created us in his image on purpose and for a purpose. No matter what’s been done to you, you are created in the image of God. He loves you. He’s got a plan and a purpose and a destiny for your life. So the enemy comes into the garden and he says did God really say? It’s important that you know what God says. In our day of social media and 24/7 news cycles, oh most of us have got an opinion about what everyone else is saying. But do you know what God said? Do you know what God is really saying and it’s time to turn down the voice of the world and turn up the voice of God. Thank God that out of this house the YouVersion Bible app has gone around the world to 28 billion gazillion people thank God and counting and growing everyday. Because our world needs to know what God said. And then the enemy wants to get his way and heap shame on the world. And they call us the shaming culture. They wrote an op-ed in the New York Times calling us the shaming culture. You just have to be on social media for 10 seconds to understand that that’s true. Everyone calling everyone else out. Everyone shaming everyone. It’s an outrage culture. It’s a shaming culture. And God says I actually created you not to know what shame is. I actually set up a method in my Bible of how you address conflict and how you talk to one another. And how you honor one another. And how you cover one another. But it’s like we’ve forgotten all of that. When it comes to the shaming, the world itself calls us a shaming culture. And God says I didn’t make you to know what that is. So he says did God say. She turns around and says well you know, God said that we shouldn’t eat from this tree or we’re gonna die. And here comes the enemy. You will not die! He will always try to undermine the character of God. He will make you think that God is a kill joy. That God is trying to rip you off. You can do what God said not to do. You’re not gonna die. You go to the nightclub and snort what you want. You won’t die. You go and sleep with whoever you want, you won’t die. You marry whoever you want, you won’t die. You go and cheat on your tax return, you won’t die. You go and gossip and slander, you won’t die! All the underpinnings of the enemy are always there. God knows that you’re gonna be like him. God wants to rip you off. That’s why God doesn’t want you to go and get stoned and drunk and sleep around with everybody because God’s such a kill joy. And he just really, really wants you to miss out on the fun of waking up in your own vomit, of waking up next to someone you don’t even know who their name is. That’s right, God’s such a kill joy. And then he tries to take the things that God does to protect us and to dignify us and to help us live a flourishing, fruitful life. The enemy says oh no, no, no. God actually just wants to rip you off. So he’s undermining the character of God. That God truly is good. That God does good. That’s what Psalm 119 tells us. And that anything God asks us to do, even if we don’t understand why he would want us to withhold from a certain pattern of behavior. Or perhaps not go down a certain track. It may not make sense to us in 2018, but will we trust God when we don’t understand why God has asked us to do something? That’s the issue that’s on the table. Will you trust the character of God? And what happened here is Eve didn’t. She ultimately didn’t trust that God is good. And that God does good. And so the enemy will always say no, no, no. That really won’t destroy you. Just go and click on that website, it’s not gonna hurt your marriage. Just go and have that extra glass of wine. It’s not gonna hurt you. It’s not gonna turn you back into an addict. He’ll always just try to make you go just that little bit more. Just compromise this word, just that little bit. It’s not gonna kill you. Because all he wants to do is kill you. You go Christine what’s the scripture and verse for that? Read your Bible, John 10:10. The enemy comes to do one thing. Steal, kill, and destroy. That’s all he wants to do. He wants your fruitfulness. If he can’t get your soul, he wants your fruitfulness. So what he’s going to, so much of what we’re talking about in society today, it’s not an issue of salvation. It’s an issue of fruitfulness. Can you go and do it? Knock yourself out honey. But you will not be fruitful for the glory of God. And John tells us it is to our Father’s great glory that we bear much fruit. The enemy is after the fruitfulness of the church. So he gets us arguing about theology and doctrine and is this, can you do this, and how close to the line can I get? And are you saved if you do this? And you know what? It’s very rarely a salvation issue. It is a fruitfulness issue. Obedience to God is a matter of fruitfulness. So then she says but God did say. See you could be in church every week. You could do Bible study. You could be able to quote the word of God. But it will be of no effect if you don’t do it. She knew what God said. She said God did say don’t eat of it. But she did what God said not to do. If you do the antithesis of what God tells you to do, what is the point of all of this? We come and we sit in church every week. We do Bible studies. We download podcasts. But if you’re not going to do it, faith without works is Dead. And there’s so many Christians with an ineffective faith that doesn’t work because they’re not putting their faith to work by obedience. Obedience is not legalism. Obedience will lead to a flourishing life. God is not trying to restrict you. God is trying to launch you into your destiny and your purpose. There is nothing greater than obeying God. And so, she says God did say, he says no it won’t. Here’s where the problem starts. Don’t have a big dialogue with the devil. When he starts talking to you, do not sit there. And then what happens? For God knows you’re gonna be like him. Here is the deal. She had forgotten. She already was like God. Genesis chapter one. She was created in the image of God. See, when you forget who you are, whose son you are, whose daughter you are, in whose image you are created, you will end up doing things contrary to God to become who you already are. But when you know who you already are, you can stand up to the enemy and go no, I know who I am in him. I’m a son or a daughter of the king. And so I’m gonna obey the word of God. And so what does the Bible say? They ate of it and then they realized they were naked. And here’s the difference between shame and guilt. See guilt says I did something wrong. And when we do something wrong, the first place we should run is to God. But shame says you are wrong, so it makes you run away from God. And so there is a difference between your who and your do. What you did is not who you are. And every one of us, the Bible says all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I need to be running to God for the, you know why he’s immersing you every morning? Because I need them. Every morning. Why I need his grace every day. Confession is not a legalistic thing. It’s such a gift that I can go and pour my heart out before God and know that he is faithful and just if I confess my sins to forgive me of my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. There is no better feeling. Than the feeling of freedom and cleansing. This gospel message is so much more than just trying to make us live good and be good and just hang on ’til the rapture. It’s to live free and shame free. Everyday. It’s so liberating. It’s so life giving. And so what happens is they hid from God. And then to me, one of the saddest questions in the Bible, the first question we see God ask in scripture, the Lord walks into the garden, now can you imagine, he’s always walked in and Adam and Eve would be there. And he walks into the garden and here is first question of God in scripture, Where are you! I think God’s still asking humanity that question today? Where did you go? Now, when God asks where are you, it’s not because he doesn’t know. His omniscient. He knows everything. So there you go, that’s not the issue. But what happens is when we do stuff wrong, we normally run from the presence of God. And some of you watching this today, and you’re here in church, or you’re watching online, and you think that what you’ve done is unforgivable, you think that you have just messed up so royally. And you’ve been hiding from God. And some of us are hidden in plain sight. You’re hiding at the top of your corporation as a CEO. You’re hiding behind your money. You’re hiding behind your assets. You’re hiding behind your image. Some of you are hiding behind drugs. Some of you are hiding in someone’s bed jumping from bed to bed trying to numb your reality. Trying to numb your pain. Trying to numb the memory of what you’ve done or what was done to you. And God’s saying where are you? Where are you? When we mess up or something has happened to us, this is the time to run to God not from God. But the enemy will try to make you run from God every time. First conversation between man and God in scripture. This is what Adam says to God. I was naked and afraid and so I hid. Fear, shame, hiding. First conversation in the Bible. And for so many people, that’s exactly the conversation that you have with God if you ever talk with him. It’s full of fear. It’s full of shame. It’s full of hiding. Some of you did everything just to kinda turn up to church today. And you’re here, your body’s here. But you’re hiding from God in your heart. You’ve pulled back. And I believe by the grace of God today, you’re gonna know the love and the forgiveness, and the mercy in the grace of God. And to me, the saddest question in the Bible is next. One passage, three questions. The three questions that I believe are as pertinent in 2018 as they’ve ever been. Did God really say? Where are you? Some of you are hidden in plain sight. Where did you go? And then to me the saddest question, and I could imagine God asking Adam this with tears streaming down his face. Saying, who told you? Who told you you were naked? At what point did you believe the lie? When did you elevate someone’s voice above my voice! At what point did you believe that you’re too dumb! That you’re too stupid! That you’ll never amount to anything! There’ll always be addiction in your family! There’ll always be divorce in your family! That you can’t go to college! Where did you believe the lie! What uncle, what teacher! Who told you! Because so many of us are living so far beneath what God has for us, because we’ve elevated the voice of the world, the voice of social media, the voice of our teachers, the voice of a parent above the voice of God! Who told you is critical. At what point in your life did you believe the lie that crippled you and paralyzed you and kept you so far beneath the will of God for your life? Who told you? The best way for me to exemplify this is my daughter Catherine, she’s 16 now. But when I took her to Kindergarten, you know she’d grown in an environment like this with us and ever since she was born I would always speak over her. Catherine Bobbie, you are the head and not the tail. You are above only and not beneath. You’re a leader and not a follower. You’re a woman of God. You’re a woman of prayer. You’re a holy ghost terrorist. You are gonna grow up and you are gonna marry a very, very, very wealthy Christian man. I’ve told her since she was born. I’m a Greek mother. I’m into arranged marriages. Send me an email, so there you go. And her Daddy, ever since she was born, over both of my daughters, every day, every night, it doesn’t matter where we are in the world, if we’re not with ’em, he will set an alarm for three a.m. if it is to wake up so that he can pray for them before they go to bed. I sleep, but he does that. And so, but he’ll do that. And he’s always spoken over her. Catherine, Catherine Bobbie you are intelligent. Catherine Bobbie you are strong. Catherine Bobbie you are courageous. Catherine Bobbie you could do anything God’s called you to do. You could be anything God has called you to be. You are beautiful. And he’ll always say beautiful at the end. So that she knows that she’s intelligent. That she’s strong, that she’s capable, that she’s courageous. As well as beautiful. And well, you know, you get told that, and there’s a sense of confidence and strength in your identity. Well I took Catherine to Kindergarten. And how many know that the kids at school are not quite as nice as Mum and Dad? You know they’re not gonna say the same thing. Well, I went to pick Catherine up from Kindergarten and her teacher said this to me. Her teacher goes Christine, there was a little fight today at school. And she said you should have seen what happened. The little boy, there was this little boy. And he wanted Catherine’s teddy bear. So he ripped Catherine’s teddy bear out of her arms at lunchtime. And he said these words to her. As he took the teddy bear, he said Catherine Bobbie, you are dumb and you are ugly. And you could imagine I’m thinking how would my daughter even know what those words meant? And the teacher said oh no Christine, don’t worry, you don’t need to panic. And she said, you should have seen your daughter. She just eyeballed this kid. She put her shoulders back. And like, I was so pumped, I thought she was gonna tell me she king hit him. I’m like, yes, yes! Please do not send me emails. I’m not gonna read them. We breed them tough in Australia. I’m like yes! That is my daughter. Extra Christmas presents if she did that for sure. And she said no Christine, she put her shoulders back, she looked that kid in the eye, and she said to him, no I’m not. I’m not dumb. And I’m not ugly. My Daddy says that I am intelligent. And that I am beautiful. And church why am I telling your that this morning? I’m telling you because the most important thing you can know in the day and the age in which we live is not what social media says! It’s not what your friends says! It’s what does your Daddy say? Your Daddy says that you are a son or a daughter of the king of kings and the lord of lords! My Daddy says I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me! My Daddy says I am called! My Daddy says I am chosen! My Daddy says I am redeemed! My Daddy says that I am loved! My Daddy says that I am a child of God created in his image! My Daddy says there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus! My Daddy says I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. The greatest thing you will ever know on this side of eternity is who you are in him. And what he says about you and to you. Did God really say? Where are you? Who told you? The three questions for our generation. Your God is for you. Let me pray for you church. Father, I thank you for this amazing church. I thank you Lord for your word. I thank you for your promise. I thank you that as we live on this side of eternity and this thing called time and space, Father there are so many voices shouting at us telling us who we are not, reminding us of our failures, reminding us of our flaws. But I thank you Lord that you have given us your word and your word is full of life. And your word is full of hope. And I thank you that we are sons and daughters of the king of kings and the lord of lords. And where the enemy has declared shame on you, on any person, under the sound of my voice, I’ve come to Life Church today to declare and decree in the name of Jesus Christ shame off you. In Jesus’ name. Amen, amen.

We must declare war on the version of ourselves we don’t like, we are encouraged to be intentional with our thoughts. Negative thinking cannot lead to a positive life.

Everyone is chained by something. Allow God to set you free! Preached at Elevation Church. Used by permission. Notes by sermons.love.com

One of my most enjoyable professors at seminary shared a story with our class describing one aim of the church that I’ll never forget. It went something like this, “My family and I love to share a good meal together. In fact, we seldom missed meals as a family. At our table, you’ll find laughter, you’ll find tears, you’ll find correction, you’ll find truth, and you’ll also find love and acceptance. It’s a safe place–our table–and it’s also a place of care, support, and appropriate guidance. We (my wife and I) love our children, and we love to be with them. They too, love to be with us. And so, when our daughter called home–after her first semester of college–to tell us that she was bringing friends home for the Thanksgiving holiday it thrilled our hearts. It’s exactly what we hoped she would do. She loves her family, she’s safe in her home, and she wants her new college friends to experience this supportive and caring environment.” The professor went on to say that, “…the church should be no different–principally–in cultivating the love, care, truth, and support experienced in our home.” He said, “When the church is living and breathing as the healthy church that it should be, members of the church-family can’t wait to bring their friends to the table.” When you think of church what comes to mind?” Most people think the following when they think of the church: Family. Fellowship. Community. Worship. Learning more about the Bible. Singing. Love. Therefore, one thing that is safe to conclude from this survey and from my professor’s thoughts is that the church has–at least–the potential to cultivate an environment similar to that of a family. The question is, then, “Is this enough?” In other words, should the church strive for a family-feeling environment like my professor suggested and like what many people think of when they think of the church? I would say, “yes and no”. Yes, the church should cultivate and environment where similar experiences to that of a loving home are also experienced in the church. In fact, the Bible supports this idea. We see early on after Christ’s ascension that the church functioned similar to that of a family. “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Acts 2:42 This verse describes a church-environment where: the Word of God (i.e. the apostles’ teaching) was a priority in their lives–it held a place of devotion. fellowship or cultivating a place of mutual benefit for others was normal. the Lord’s supper was observed (i.e. breaking of bread). Prayer was part and parcel to their lives. The text goes on to say, that “Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.” In other words, these early Christians experienced a place of love and care and support similar to that of a family. However, the answer to the question should the church strive to be like a family is at the same time, “no.” The reason I say no is because, while a family-like environment is important for the church to cultivate, it is not the ultimate purpose. I would say it like this, when the church is fulfilling its purpose, then it will naturally feel like a family. Take the home for example, when a father is acting like a father, and the mother like a mother, and the child like the child, etc. the family atmosphere takes on a whole different shape than it would if the child started acting like the father, etc. That’s another article for another day, but suffice it to say that the family-like environment is a product of and not the purpose of the church. So, what is the purpose of the church? The purpose* of the church is: To provoke Israel to jealousy. Tie this back to Deuteronomy 32:21. In essence, the church is God’s means of provoking Israel to jealousy, so that they will repent, turn back to Him, and look to Christ as their true Messiah. The church does this…amazing! a Romans 11:11 To display God’s grace and wisdom. Christ’s death–man’s sin at its height–and Christ’s resurrection–God’s power over man’s sin at its height–reveal par excellence God’s grace and wisdom. Until this time, man only experienced a fraction of God’s grace and wisdom. a. Ephesians 2:7 To prepare rulers for the kingdom. In other words, through suffering in this world (church-age), followers of Christ are being prepared to reign in God’s kingdom to come. a.. 2 Timothy 2:12 To evangelize the world. In other words, the church is to witness or declare the gospel through their lives and their words in Jerusalem (local), in all Judea and Samaria (regional), and the uttermost parts of the earth (global). a. Matthew 28:19–20 To edify itself. This is through Scripture and our lives. To edify is to build up, which the church does through God’s Word and through coming alongside people with encouragement and love. a. Ephesians 4:16 To purify itself . In other words, the church–through the Word of God, prayer, and Holy Spirit–disciplines, corrects, and guides its members. They carry out a character of God, who disciplines those He loves. a. Ephesians 5:25–27 To glorify God. In other words, the church is a megaphone of God’s glory. It’s not a place of trivialities and inconsequentialities. No, no, the church is a place of displaying to all the glory of its Savior and God! a. Ephesians 3:21 In conclusion, as the church fulfills her purpose, then the church will feel like family. It will be a place of love, of care, of nurture, of support, of correction, of guidance, and of acceptance. *Adapted from Robert Saucy, The Church In God’s Program, 89-97. www.staffandstones.com . Used by permission.

Most people know that we’ll worship God in Heaven. But they don’t grasp how thrilling that will be. Multitudes of God’s people—of every nation, tribe, people, and language—will gather to sing praise to God for His greatness, wisdom, power, grace, and mighty work of redemption (Revelation 5:13-14). Overwhelmed by His magnificence, we will fall on our faces in unrestrained happiness and say, “Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!” (Revelation 7:9-12). Will we always be on our faces at Christ’s feet, worshiping Him? No, because Scripture says we’ll be doing many other things—living in dwelling places, eating and drinking, reigning with Christ, and working for Him. Scripture depicts people standing, walking, traveling in and out of the city, and gathering at feasts. When doing these things, we won’t be on our faces before Christ. Nevertheless, all that we do will be an act of worship. We’ll enjoy full and unbroken fellowship with Christ. At times this will crescendo into greater heights of praise as we assemble with the multitudes who are also worshiping Him. So the next time you’re singing in church, expand your mind to anticipate worshiping with the entire assembled body of Christ. Imagine it now, with the following scene from my novel Edge of Eternity spurring on your thoughts. The scene occurs on the day Nick observes— and joins—Heaven’s army in its final cosmic campaign against the forces of darkness: We rejoined our comrades in the great camp of Charis, embracing and shedding tears and slapping each other on the back. Then warriors around me turned toward the masses of untold millions gathered in Charis. The army began to sing, perhaps hundreds of thousands, perhaps a million. I added my voice to theirs and sang the unchained praises of the King. Only for a moment did I hear my own voice, amazed to detect the increased intensity of the whole. One voice, even mine, made a measurable difference. But from then on I was lost in the choir, hardly hearing my voice and not needing to. As we sang to the gathered throngs of Charis, the sheer power of their voices, our voices, nearly bowled me over. Then suddenly the multitudes before us sang back to us, and our voices were drowned by theirs. We who a moment earlier seemed the largest choir ever assembled now proved to be only the small worship ensemble that led the full choir of untold millions, now lost to themselves. We sang together in full voice, “To him who made the galaxies, who became the Lamb, who stretched out on the tree, who crossed the chasm, who returned the Lion! Forever!” The song’s harmonies reached out and grabbed my body and my soul. I became the music’s willing captive. The galaxies and nebulae sang with us the royal song. It echoed off a trillion planets and reverberated in a quadrillion places in every nook and cranny of the universe. The song generated the light of a billion burning supernovae. It blotted out all lesser lights and brought a startling clarity to the way things really were. It didn’t blind, it illuminated, and I saw as never before. Our voices broke into thirty-two distinct parts, and instinctively I knew which of them I was made to sing. “We sing for joy at the work of your hands…we stand in awe of you.” It felt indescribably wonderful to be lost in something so much greater than myself. There was no audience, I thought for a moment, for audience and orchestra and choir all blended into one great symphony, one grand cantata of rhapsodic melodies and powerful sustaining harmonies. No, wait, there was an audience. An audience so vast and all-encompassing that for a moment I’d been no more aware of it than a fish is aware of water. I looked at the great throne, and upon it sat the King…the Audience of One. The smile of His approval swept through the choir like fire across dry wheat fields. When we completed our song, the one on the throne stood and raised His great arms and clapped His scarred hands together in thunderous applause, shaking ground and sky, jarring every corner of the cosmos. His applause went on and on, unstopping and unstoppable. And in that moment I knew, with unwavering clarity, that the King’s approval was all that mattered—and ever would. www.epm.org . Used by permission.

’ve spent a portion of my last few years praying for and grieving for a friend who once claimed Christ as his own, but over the years abandoned his faith in Jesus. He went from being active in his faith to hating Christianity, the church, and all it stands for. And it all came to fruition when he made a single decision. He told me about it over dinner one night. “You know, I don’t believe the Bible is God’s word anymore.” From that point he lost his love for Jesus and his life since then has become a religious mess. In fact, he has since become one of the most hateful people I know. How could this happen? Though our sins have been forgiven there are times when Jesus may hold things against us. Surprised? This truth is found in Revelation 2:4,14 and 20 when three times Jesus says to churches, “I have this against you…” Considering the grace and forgiveness of the cross, what could Jesus hold against us? There are five things listed in his letters to the Asian churches: false love, false teaching, false prophets, a false life, and a false perspective. And one of these is something from which all of them can spring. False Love Jesus said to the church at Ephesus: “You have abandoned the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4). False love is often not recognized. We can be busy doing what we think are Christian things, religious things, but have no devotion to Jesus. Whether you are part of the Christian Right or Christian Left, we can easily forget the things in scripture weightier than our social agendas. We become concerned with doing the right things rather than knowing and expressing the right person. False Teaching False teaching is the second one. To Pergamum Jesus said: “You have some there who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, so that they might eat food sacrificed to idols and practice sexual immorality. So also you have some who hold the teaching of the Nicolaitans” (2:14-16). When we lose our love for Jesus it becomes easy to succumb to false teaching. When Jesus isn’t at the center of our faith, we entertain other ideas that creep in and sound right, but in actuality draw us away from pure devotion to Christ. I had another friend who could talk and talk about religious ideas presented in books like I and II Enoch and other pseudepigraphal works, but it changed his perspective and contributed to wrecking his family. False Prophets False teaching is often promulgated by false prophets. To Thyatira Jesus said: “You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols” (2:20). False prophets always mix elements of truth with falsehood. Often it can be so subtle that it goes unrecognized. Some of the worst false prophets of our day come out of the prosperity gospel movement because they are seen by millions of Christians as charismatic leaders seemingly anointed by God. Their teachings have become so popular that the threads of their theology even extend into churches and leaders who are not part of their fold but whose ideas have influenced them to some degree. False prophets take our eyes off of Jesus and craftily refocus our eyes on them. Paul condemned this in I Corinthians 1. False Life To the church of Sardis Jesus condemned a false life: “You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God” (3:1-2). Central to Jesus rebuking this church was the idea that Sardis did not hold onto the teachings of Jesus they first received. This is critical to our faith. The false life is the life that forgets the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles and replaces it with our own, such as the false teaching taught by false prophets, and as you will see, it changes our perspective. This is a church of which Jesus says when he comes he will “Come against you” (Revelation 3:3). False Perspective Finally, Jesus’ statements against the churches culminate with his words to Laodicea about their false perspective: “Because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked” (3:16-17). This is a church that has gone beyond losing its love for the Lord. It is a church that lives without him. It is a self-sufficient church, a church of its own standards and its own principles, and its own agendas, but it has nothing to do with the real Jesus. It is a church still in its sin. It thinks it has everything it needs and wants, and is blind to its own spiritual poverty. This is the ultimate destination of churches that lose their love for Jesus and succumb to false teachings, false prophets, and false lives. From Whence It All Comes…and Fixing It If I had to say which of these more logically leads to the others, or is the most important failing, it would be the first one, losing our love for the Lord. Holding fast in love for Jesus is the safeguard against all kinds of theological and perspectival errors. Before his crucifixion Jesus warned his disciples with these words: “If you love me you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). “He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me” (John 14:21). “He who does not love Me does not keep My words” (John 14:24). “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love” (John 15:10). Are you beginning to notice a theme? It is the beginning of my friend’s fall from grace. Abandoning the scripture is the same as abandoning Jesus—and your love for him. In I John, John continued to build on this important theme of love for Jesus being the center of our devotion to God and the thing from which our theology and practical expressions flow. “Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (I John 2:15). Those who claim Christ, but who never develop love for him supremely, fall pray to these false deceptions. John says of them, “They went out from us, but they were not really of us” (I John 2:19). Remember, abiding in Jesus’ word is a proof that we love him. “Let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father” (I John 2:24). “Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth” (I John 3:18). Chapters 4 and 5 build on this theme until it crescendos in I John 5:4, “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.” Is it any wonder that Jesus concludes his challenges to the seven churches by promising a blessing to, “He who overcomes” (Revelation 2:7,11,17,26; 3:5,12,21). How do we overcome? By supremely loving Jesus and obeying his word. Falling prey to false teaching, false prophets, false perspectives, and a false life begins with a lessening of love for Jesus Christ. Ignoring or not holding scripture true is the first sign that we have a love problem. Getting back that love begins with recommitting to the fundamentals, the first of which is holding fast to God’s word. guywithabible.com Used by permission.

Conflict is part of life. We can handle it in a godly way, or brush it under the rug. Dr. Caroline Leaf teaches us six ways to argue well. “Did you know fighting can be good for your mental health? Arguing can be beneficial for both your health and your relationships, IF done correctly. In this blog I am going to give six points on how to argue, and the mental health benefits of arguing well. I grew up in a family where many things were swept under the rug, which led to a number of relationship problems even though we loved each other. This is a common problem in many families and friendships, and causes more issues in the long run than if the people involved had just had a big fight, which tends to get everything out into the open (a crucial step to healing!) Learning how to argue well can in fact be one of the most useful skills, and a great way to improve not only our mental health but also relationships! What are some of the ways you can learn to argue well? 1.  Get clarification : Before you respond to someone and get upset, make sure you understand what the other person means. Ask for clarification before reacting, especially if you feel triggered by what they are saying or doing. It may help if you try restate what they said to see if you understand them correctly—try see things from their angle as calmly as you can. Remember, assumptions are the mother of all mess ups! Always take a few breathes before you respond in an argument. Don’t assume that you know what the other person is thinking, because in all likelihood you do not, even if you know that person well! I still have to practice this with my husband, even though I have known him for over 30 years! Examining and changing your perceptions will be hard at first, but if you practice this over 21 to 63 days you can build it into your brain as a mental habit, which will help you argue better in the future! 2. Practice Grace: We all need a little grace and compassion at times, because we are all human! It is so important to give people a second chance, and try understand why they may be reacting in a certain way, and try to figure out  why  someone is upset. Maybe they are just having a bad day, or are going through something difficult. Always consider this before you just assume they are acting this way to antagonize you. Try to see the best first—this is what I call a “grace attitude”. This means seeing this person in a compassionate and understanding way, which changes the kind of mental energy you generate towards that person which can help diffuse a potentially explosive situation.  3.  Make self-reflection and self-regulation a habit:   Take the time to think about your own thoughts and behavior as you are at the start or in the midst of an argument. Maybe you hurt that person? Are your words and actions “triggering” them? Be honest with yourself. Are you looking at the person through the past, that is how they used to be? Even I do this with my husband—I occasionally think my husband is not listening to me like he did in the past, even though my husband has dramatically improved the way he engages with me. Remember, the past doesn’t have to define the future! People can and do change, and we all fail at times.  Do not hold someone’s present actions against past behaviors.  Also, ask yourself a lot of WHY questions, because there is always a reason behind what we say and do. And be sure to let go of your ego! Ask yourself what good will pride do in this situation? Indeed, when we let go of our ego, we generate what quantum physics shows are “love waves” that really help improve the way people react to us. How?  My new app  Switch  is a great tool for helping you make self-reflection and self-regulation a habit. It is based on my 5-step program, which is designed to help you identify and eliminate the root of your toxic thoughts and reactions, and can help you build healthy, new thinking habits that can improve your relationships. You can also find out more on toxic thinking and how to change negative mindsets in my book  Switch On Your Brain   and  Think, Learn, Succee d. 4.  Watch your verbal and non-verbal communication: Become aware of what you say and your body language. Do not make sweeping statements, such as “you are always like this” or “you never listen”; these trigger words will only make things worse, so choose your words carefully and watch how you construct sentences. Do not use language that will make someone go on the defensive. This is counterproductive and will only make things worse. Practice using non-jud gmental or accusatory speech.  It is also important to consider your body language, which is 50 % of your communication! Stress and anger have physical repercussions, such as the tensing of your muscles, which can make a situation more tense and combative. So, when you are in the midst of an argument, take note of your posture, facial expressions and body movements. Minimize fast and aggressive movements, and focus on loosening the tension in your face.   5.  Take Action:  Don’t just say sorry, take action! Acknowledge your own role/responsibility in the argument, and be prepared to give an authentic apology, not just a quick or irritated “I’m sorry”! Really try to change your behavior so that the other person can see that you are genuinely apologetic. Be “solution-minded”: think of tangible, constructive ways you can improve the situation and your relationship to show that you are willing to change. In my own case with my husband Mac, we both try remember to go through the steps outlined in this blog as we argue, which helps us have less heated, shorter and constructive arguments, which, in turn, helps us grow in our relationship! 6.  Conduct an argument autopsy : After an argument, it is always important to analyze why things ended up the way they did.  We cannot fix something if we do not know why it “broke” in the first place ! Once you are calm, think about how you can learn from the situation, how you can improve your communication and relationship—don’t just “move on” or the same thing can happen again. Use this “autopsy” process as a preventative measure: it is a way to understand how to prevent this kind of argument in the future. It may be helpful to discuss with other person what can be done in the future to prevent or manage a re-occurrence of the same argument, or to discuss the situation with someone you trust. Set boundaries and take note of toxic thought patterns. The key to a good “mental autopsy” is understanding. When you start to understand your arguments, you can learn from them, which helps you stop overthinking and making assumptions next time you interact with that person (for more on this see this blog) and learn from past experiences (as I spoke about in a recent blog and podcast). A mental autopsy helps you move forward and build strong relationships that help you succeed in life. What are the benefits of arguing well? 1. Learning to argue well prevents us from building a toxic thought associated with the relationship in question, which can cause brain damage and influence future interactions/perceptions in that relationship (which will only make future arguments worse!). When we argue in a good way, and learn how to “agree to disagree”, we can improve our mental health and our relationships, because we learn that we all see the world in a different way, and will never agree with everything someone says or does, and this is okay! We will also learn to not let past hurts and painful interactions control present and future interactions. 2. We can choose how we want to use our mental energy. There is a limit to how much energy we have in a day. Do we want to waste it on rehashing a toxic though pattern that is based on our assumptions, which will drain our energy and make us feel tired and sick? Or do we want to use our limited energy to build a healthy response into our brains, one that is based on getting to the root of an issue and improving our relationships and ability to communicate? When we use our mental energy well, we can lay a strong, positive foundation for all our relationships because we learn how to listen and communicate in a constructive and helpful way, increasing our wisdom and building strong ties that help us navigate life’s challenges. Choose where you want to spend your energy.   3. Assumptions, anger, irritation and so on take a lot of mental energy and time, and can create neurochemical chaos in the brain, which not only affects our ability to think clearly, but can also impact all of our relationships. When we learn to argue well, however, we redirect this energy in a positive way, helping build neural networks in the mind that lay the foundation for successful, lasting bonds. Furthermore, learning to argue well prevents chaotic thinking, which has a direct impact on our mental and physical health. 4. You cannot suppress thoughts and emotions—they will end up coming up in some way or another, and can cause a host of mental and physical health issues, including a compromised immune system! Good arguments may be painful, but they get things out into the open, which helps you deal with them so they do not keep coming back to haunt you and affect your mental and physical wellbeing.  One hour of arguing properly may just save you years of relationship and emotional problems ! 5. We can never learn or grow if don’t fight through our problems. Not dealing with an issue doesn’t make it go away, and it certainly doesn’t help us learn how to improve our relationships. To deal with and learn from an issue we first have to admit there is one, which is why arguing is so important: it sheds light on our relationship problems and where we need to progress. We are connected to each other because we live in an entangled world—we cannot escape human relationship.  I really recommend you learn these rules and use them immediately when you begin to argue with anyone, even if you have to read them on notes or in a journal the first few times! They have really helped me learn how to argue well with my own family, and have dramatically improved our ability to communicate. Indeed, it is important not to fear arguments. Don’t stay in them long, don’t let your ego rule, and don’t forget to analyze and learn from them! And remember, just  one hour of arguing properly may save you years of relationship problems! www.drleaf.com .  Used by permission.

My doctor started it. Medical charts don’t lie. He knows how old I am. I’ve tried all of the tricks: photo-shopping, neck-covering and youthful clothes. But, truth be told, I’m old. Not really old, but semi-old. Age happens. It chaps my hide when people treat me differently. All of us have unique challenges, so why don’t we make it easier on each other? A little understanding goes a long way….. Here are three ways Spring Chickens can love Old People, and three ways Old People should love Spring Chickens. My advice to the Young: 1. Keep loving me. Assure me that you will still care when I get wrinkly and gray (and possibly pudgy). God still loves me, old or young, warts and all. I fear being rejected or forgotten. He promises: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3 AMP 2. Listen Respectfully. I’m smart (occasionally). I can teach you a lot. No one cares if I earned a Doctor’s degree. The IRS just wants to know if I paid my taxes on time. The reason older people want to share what they have learned is because they want to save you the grief of making the stupid mistakes they made when they were younger. We really have been around the block. We know what’s on the other side of the hill because we are over the hill. The Apostle Paul writes: “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16 KJV The basic meaning of Latin circumspicere is “to look around.” It implies a careful consideration of all circumstances and a desire to avoid mistakes and bad consequences. However, I must not infer that the “good old days” are better than the present. Untrue. “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” Proverbs 11:14 MSG 3. Connect with me. I have many dear Facebook friends who used to hate me. Some left our church for one reason or another. When you are old, the little stuff in the past doesn’t matter anymore. (At least it shouldn’t). Friends are important. They are worth keeping. King Solomon aptly wrote, “Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.” Ecclesiastes 1:1. KJV This phrase does not mean life is a waste. Vanity simply means mist. Time flies. You don’t get it back. Now is the time to show appreciation, affection and affirmation to the elders in your life. They won’t be around forever. When you are seven, your birthday seems like a century away. When you are old, you rack up birthdays like poker chips. Make every moment count. Love deeply…like Christ loves you. Now, let’s preach to the choir. Here’s my advice to Elders: What should I do for the Spring Chickens? As an old person, I need to step up to the plate for those who are still in the game. How should I treat those who are wrinkle-free? 1. Let go. Little birdies need to fly. Animals are smarter than people. They push their young out of the nest or into the wild to grow and flourish. Old people want to hang on rather than release control to their successors. Sagely Paul advises: “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young. Instead, set an example for the believers through your speech, behavior, love, faith, and by being sexually pure.” 1 Timothy 4:12 CEB Paul encouraged Timothy. Some church deacon told Timothy he was too young and inexperienced to be the pastor. Timothy was more than capable. Use your influence to empower and encourage the young. 2. Keep up. Since we were here first, old people assume that a younger generation’s culture and technology should adapt to them. Not true. Take the time and energy to relate. Be relevant. I took my new iPhone to the Verizon guy to fix a glitch. Thirty minutes later, the guy was still mystified by my issue. He reluctantly handed the phone to his manager. The manager chuckled and confessed a four-year-old kid taught him how to fix the problem last week! If you want to relate to your kids and/or grandkids, use their technology. Go to their soccer games and recitals. Be involved in the activities they love. Be passionately engaged in their world. Paul referred to the importance of relating to others in his letter to the Corinthians: “ Yes, whatever a person is like, I try to find common ground with him so that he will let me tell him about Christ.” I Corinthians 9:22 LB Entering someone’s world builds trust. Be the hands and feet of Jesus to the next generation. 3. Grow wise. Seniors have a reputation for being childish and set in their ways. Shame on us! Spiritual maturity implies that we walk more closely with God. I love the fact that Moses was so intimate with Jehovah, he was buried by God’s own hand. Old Paul knew the secret of aging God’s way: “This is the reason why we never collapse. The outward man does indeed suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength. These little troubles (which are really so transitory) are winning for us a permanent, glorious and solid reward out of all proportion to our pain. For we are looking all the time not at the visible things but at the invisible. The visible things are transitory: it is the invisible things that are really permanent.” 2 Corinthians 4:16 Phillips My husband Roger had a spiritual mentor. Albert Fox was his Sunday School teacher and friend. Mr. Fox walked alongside Roger every day, loving him, praying for him and teaching him how to be a dynamic follower of Jesus. Roger visited his spiritual father in the hospital. Albert had an inoperable brain tumor and was near death. He quietly whispered into Roger’s ear, “Son, I want you to see how a Christian dies.” Roger was never the same. He was imprinted for life by his spiritual father. Less of me, more of Jesus. That’s what our Spring Chickens need to see!

Being a mom is a high honor and one of the most precious gifts of my life. At the same time, being a mom is tough. It’s tough when your children are tiny. And there are still tough days when you’re like me, and your children are all grown. One of the hardest things about motherhood for me has always been my tendency to blame myself for the wrong choices my kids have made. The second hardest thing is trying to figure out the right way to help them navigate their issues. Especially when you’re hyperaware that the situation your child is in carries great consequences. Deep is the sorrow of a mother who feels helpless. Thankfully, God knows what it’s like to deal with wayward children. He feels our pain. He knows our sorrow. And He knows exactly how to encourage us through His Word. Ephesians 6:10-12 tells us: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (NIV) Based on this truth, here are three things mamas should know: 1. God does not call us to find a power within ourselves to overcome the issues we face with our kids. He calls us to put on His armor because what we are facing is a battle of epic proportions. And His weapons aren’t silly little spiritual suggestions that might or might not work. His weapons are certain. His belt of truth. I must park my runaway mind in the assurance of God’s love for me and my child. His breastplate of righteousness. I must stop reacting in the flesh and choose to battle this with my praises and prayers. His gospel of peace. I must walk in the assurance and peace that even when I can’t see things changing, God is working on my child’s behalf. His shield of faith. I must have faith in God’s timing and His ways. His helmet of salvation. I must trust God’s ultimate desire for my children is for them to have a close relationship with Him. Though a situation might seem like an unlikely part of this process, God will bring good out of it. His sword, which is the Bible. I must read God’s love letter to me every day. And hold those truths as the lifeline between God’s security and my shaky heart. His gift of prayer. I must see prayer not as a last resort but as the very thing God’s most courageous warriors turn to first. Ephesians 6:13-18 assures us that with these in place, we’ll be able to stand as we use them to tap into a power beyond ourselves. 2. The battle isn’t against our child and their choices. It often feels like the battle is against our child. In reality, the battle is against Satan’s schemes. There will be some battles we face with our kids that seem impossible to win because Satan twists the truth. He hides consequences. He blinds reality. He has schemes perfectly designed with our weaknesses in mind. Therefore, we have to battle Satan. He’s the real enemy here. And because we are Jesus girls, we hold the power for victory in our praises and prayers to God. 3. The battle is taking place in the heavenly realms. Oh how I want to fight my kids’ battles with what I can see. But that simply isn’t enough. So, I must fight with the only thing I have that can reach into the heavenly realm: my praise and prayers. Praise for who God is and prayers for Him to remove Satan’s influence in a situation. If ever I’m tempted to doubt how powerful praise and prayers are in battle, a quick read of 2 Chronicles 20:1-27 soothes this mama’s heart. It’s an amazing story of God’s people feeling overwhelmed in the face of a vast army, but when they begin to sing and praise the Lord, their enemy is defeated. Prayers to God and praises for God release the power of God. What bridged the gap between them feeling powerless and experiencing victory were praises and prayers. And it’s the same for us. I can’t fully explain it. But I can proclaim it. Our prayers and our praises are powerful and effective. Yes, being a mom is tough, but we aren’t alone. God understands this struggle of parenting children who get off track. And since God, the perfect parent, has dealt with this since the beginning of time — I think His is the best advice around. Father God, thank You so much that You have perfectly equipped me to do battle for my children. Today I lift my prayers and my praises up to You, believing for a mighty victory in their lives. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. Psalm 144:1, “Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.” (NIV) © 2019 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Musical preferences are profoundly etched into us. One generation’s trash is another generation’s treasure. Modern worship has a bullseye on it. It’s a fairly regular occurrence that I read a blog or a reflection in a book decrying the insipid lyrics we sing in our churches or hear a complaint from a congregant about modern worship. Last week I defended the treasure of hymns for the church. This is my defense of modern worship. A few disclaimers: 1) I am not claiming that all modern worship is good: there is a plenty that isn’t good; 2) I am not making an argument that modern worship is any better than any other era of music; 3) I am not making an argument that your church should primarily sing modern worship; there’s nothing wrong with a church that chooses songs that are several decades or several centuries old. With that said, here are four reasons that we should enjoy modern worship: 1) Modern worship obeys God’s command to sing a new song. We are commanded to sing new songs to God. The Psalmist tells us, “Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth!”[i] There will never be a moment for all of eternity that the well of worship will run dry. God is infinite and so our praise is endless. We are called to participate in new expressions of praise to our limitless God and join in singing with all we are! 2) Modern worship is musically fresh. Modern worship’s structure is typically: verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus. This lends to music that is slightly more musically diverse than classic hymns, but slightly less lyrically diverse. Why do I say that? Because there are typically three musical sections of a modern worship song, with a chorus that repeats, while most hymns repeat the same tune three to five times, but have different lyrics for each verse. So hymns typically have more lyrical content while musically, modern worship is more varied. It should be noted that if you go back further into the church’s musical tradition (early church music and Gregorian chant), those were primarily based on the Psalms and were, in general, far less lyrically rich than even modern worship.[ii] In fact, in some of the Psalms themselves, you find quite a bit of repetition: see Psalm 100 and 150 for example. But modern worship engages a broader swath of music and does so with more diversity in each song. 3) Modern worship is jubilant. One surprise when you dig into what Old Testament worship looked like is that it was loud. In the Psalms we are told to “Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.”[iii] We are told to “Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!”[iv] And, every drummer’s favorite verse: “Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!”[v] While there are certainly hymns that live up to this call, on the whole, modern worship excels in jubilant worship. This of course isn’t to state that worship shouldn’t be reverent and even somber at times. A healthy worshiping body includes both calm and contemplative moments as well as dynamic moments of praise and weeks that are more reverent and weeks that are more jubilant. Most of us have a mode of worship that is more comfortable for us: quieter and meditative or louder and jubilant. It’s healthy for us to grow in both directions as worshipers. 4) Modern worship is theologically strong. This declaration might surprise you the most. In fact, the most pointed accusation I hear against modern worship is that it is theologically weak. Granted, by its very nature, modern worship has not been vetted by time as our favorite hymns have been. However, it takes only a cursory glance at hymns to find hymns that are very theologically weak and likewise it takes only a cursory glance at modern worship to find theologically rich songs. Let’s consider a few theologically weak hymns. In “He Lives,” we sing that we know Jesus lives because “He lives within my heart”: that places the foundation of our beliefs in our feelings, not on the Word of God. In “Away in a Manger” we sing that “the little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes”: that smacks of a Savior who is not fully human. “I’ll Fly Away” can encourage escapist theology. “In the Garden” is sentimental and leans toward an individualistic faith when we sing “And the joy we share as we tarry there none has ever known.” Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not for a minute suggesting that the hymns don’t contain some of the most powerful and rich lyrics ever composed. They do! “Holy, Holy, Holy,” “Amazing Grace,” “A Mighty Fortress is Our God,” “Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise,” and on and on! Gems all! And certainly there is dross in modern worship. But there is a lot less dross you might think if you examine modern worship closely. A sampling of the top of the charts of modern worship finds songs rich in biblical truth. Consider some of the rich theology in the following modern worship songs: What a Beautiful Name by Hillsong You were the Word at the beginning One With God the Lord Most High Your hidden glory in creation Now revealed in You our Christ This is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham Who brings our chaos back into order Who makes the orphan a son and daughter The King of Glory, the King of Glory Lord I Need You by Matt Maher Where sin runs deep Your grace is more Where grace is found is where You are Where You are, Lord, I am free Holiness is Christ in me King of My Heart by Bethel Let the King of my heart Be the mountain where I run The fountain I drink from Oh, He is my song Let the King of my heart Be the shadow where I hide The ransom for my life Oh, He is my song Cornerstone by Hillsong When darkness seems to hide His face I rest on His unchanging grace In every high and stormy gale My anchor holds within the veil If heaven is a place where every tribe and tongue are gathered, heaven will be a place of worship that is diverse beyond our comprehension. It is to our credit, then, when our musical preferences grow. I have been richly fed by Gregorian chant, traditional hymns, classical music, spirituals, urban and traditional gospel, bluegrass worship, as well as contemporary and modern worship. In heaven we will get to appreciate them all—and more! Let’s appreciate the gift of all types of worship God has granted the church, and lean into preparing for heaven a bit more by appreciating more and more of the songs we get to sing for eternity! Next week, I want to pick up one final objection against a subset of modern songs that I didn’t have room to properly address here: that they are too intimate and turn Jesus into a heavenly boyfriend. www.thebeehive.live . Used by permission.