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What qualities do you consider most important in the man or woman of your dreams? What kind of person do you think will make a good lover? One woman in her 20’s approached me and said, “Mr. McDowell, let me show you the type of man I want to marry.” With a flourish she unfolded a list of forty-nine traits she was looking for in a man. “Lady,” I said after scanning her list, “You don’t want a husband, you want Jesus.” At the University of Washington, a sophomore approached me, whipped out his diary, and said, “Let me show you the type of woman I want to marry.” Of the fourteen qualities on his list I recall only faithfulness and trustworthiness. This time I took a different approach. “Let me ask you a question,” I said. “How do you score on those fourteen points?” “What do you mean?” he asked. “The qualities you are looking for in a wife,” I said. “Are they found in your own life?” I could see I had him thinking. “It’s not so much finding the right person,” I continued, “but being the right person that counts in marriage. If you want queen, you need to be a king. If you want a good lover, you need to be a good lover.” Read Bob Phillip’s description of the contrast between our expectations and reality. The Ideal Wife (What Every Man Wants) Always Beautiful and Cheerful. Could have married movie stars, but wanted only you. Beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm. Never sick-just allergic to jewelry and fur coats. Insists that moving furniture by herself is good for her figure. Expert in cooking, cleaning hour, fixing the car or TV, painting the house and keeping quiet. Favorite hobbies: mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. Hates charge cards…Loves you because you’re so sexy! What He Gets She speaks 140 words per minute with gusts up to 180. She once was a model for a totem pole. A light eater-as soon as it gets light, she starts eating. Where there’s smoke, she’s cooking. She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you say and everything you do. If you get lost, open your wallet-she’ll find you. The Ideal Husband (What Every Woman Expects) He will be a brilliant conversationalist. A very sensitive man-kind and understanding, truly loving. A very hard-working man. A man who helps around the house by washing dishes, vacuuming floors, and taking care of the lawn. Someone who helps raise the children. A man of emotional and physical strength. A man who is smart as Einstein, but looks like a Greek god. What She Gets He always takes her to the best restaurants. Some day he may even take her inside. He doesn’t have any ulcers. He gives them. Anytime he has an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a nutshell. He supports his wife in the manner to which she was accustomed-he’s letting her keep her job. He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation brilliant. Of course, you get the point. The golden rule of a successful relationship might be stated something like: Whatever qualities you desire in a mate, develop first in yourself. Josh McDowell, The Secret of Loving, pp. 17-18. www.josh.org.

Share 0 The Bible has a great deal to say about hope. In 1 Peter 3:15, Peter writes “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” Peter assumes that inquiries will come, not because unbelievers are curious about why we’re Christians, but because they sense a quality about our lifestyle. The question is, “What is the reason for your optimism? How can you be so certain about life?” We answer with a positive declaration of why we trust Christ. Be hopeful. This is how faith and hope relate. We have hope because of our faith in Christ who always keeps His Word. When I submit myself to Christ’s control and lordship, I place my confidence in His ability to manage the affairs of my life. And that brings hope! I now have an assured expectation that Jesus will fulfill His plan for me. The deeper my relationship with Jesus, the greater my hope. As I come to know Him better, I get a clearer view of His qualities and qualifications. Remember, having hope depends upon the qualities of the person I trust. There are five misconceptions that keep us from truly knowing God in an intimate way. The first is that Christianity is a system of beliefs, another religion with no intimate connection with Jesus. The truth is, He is my Lord, my Shepherd. Because of His God-nature, His loving sacrifice for me, I follow Him. Secondly, many people believe that Christianity is a subjective faith. They do not understand how powerful and holy God is, and that right standing with God is based upon their own feelings and perceptions. The truth is, nothing can change our standing with God when we know Christ. He is the One who gave us righteousness, the approval of God the Father. I come to God through Jesus, and I never have to doubt God’s love for me again. Third, many non-Christians believe that Christianity is a “blind faith.” Just like Alice in Wonderland claimed, “I try to believe several impossible things every day.” Our faith is not a stab in the dark. God’s universal truths never change. Jesus Himself is the logos, the embodiment of all of God’s nature and ways. Therefore, I can trust His will and can freely obey Him. Fourth, those who challenge Christianity say that the Christian faith has no historical basis. In my book, Evidence That Demands a Verdict, I relate the innumerable ways Christ and His work is validated through history. So I can trust His wisdom and perceive all of life through Him. Finally, many critics say that Christianity is a set of convoluted ideas that do not make sense and cannot be proven. The facts and truths of history, science and personal experience substantiate the validity of the Christian faith. Jesus is my ultimate resource. In reality, my intimate walk with God and the indwelling Holy Spirit also testify of His reality. My response to all these misconceptions is that complete surrender to Jesus allows me to live a satisfying, abundant life with an absolute assurance of an eternal home with Christ. No fear. Just faith. Hope in Him. The world will want to know this Jesus whom you love! Josh McDowell, Evidence that Demands a Verdict Growth Guide, pp. 12-15.

How do you know when it’s time to make a big decision in your life? How do you know when circumstances squeeze you into a corner and force you to radically alter your lifestyle? Does God see your desperation? Does He hear you pray for guidance? Does He have a plan, a “way out” of the confusion and the mire? First, you have to know the absolutes-the unchangeable bedrocks that ground your life and your faith to prevent you from veering off course. Here are a few of them: 1. God has purpose in everything to bring glory to Himself. (Romans 8:28) 2. God loves you and takes your best interest to heart. (Matthew 7:9-11) 3. God’s view of your best interest is always focused on the eternal life perspective. 4. God planned and knows your future for all eternity. (Ephesians 1:5-13) 5. God sacrificed His Son, Jesus, in order to offer you a future with Him. (John 3:16) 6. God is willing to have you sacrifice your earthly well-being to further His work. (Hebrews 11:24-26) 7. God is the source of comfort and solace when the mazes overwhelm you. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) 8. God surrounds you with spiritual brothers and sisters to help and encourage you. (Philippians 2:1) 9. God builds, changes, solves, and removes change mazes in your life to get and keep you on His agenda. (Ephesians 2:10) 10. God’s plan is for you to grow to be more like Him throughout your lifetime. (2 Corinthians 4:7-10) Once you are standing on the solid ground of God’s truth, and you are walking close by His side, then there are some essentials you must consider on whether or not you change the direction you are going. These life choices may be large or small, but the principles remain the same. 1. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of listening to the Lord. 2. Get the facts. 3. Ask friends, experts, and other Christ-followers for their counsel. 4. Ask God to lead you as you face the maze. 5. Consider what Jesus would say about you making the change. 6. Measure the change against Scripture and your spiritual belief system. 7. Remember what you have learned from similar changes already experienced in your own life. 8. Weigh the risks. 9. Evaluate the stress involved with making the change. 10. Estimate what the consequences might be if you change or don’t change. No change is easy. Stepping out on faith requires keeping your eyes on Christ when everything else in your life tells you to be confused, worried or frustrated. Pray through Psalm 25. The psalmist prays an emotional prayer for guidance that will articulate many of the feelings in your heart at this life-crossroads. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. The only earth-traveller who got it right every time was Jesus. The rest of us just keep holding onto our Father’s Hand and try to read the Road Map. From Navigating Your Change Mazes, by Tom Lutz with Julie Barrier

We need to train our children in God’s wise way, and when the child reaches maturity, he/she will not turn from it. God intends parental instruction to be more than simply telling a child how to behave. Parents must demonstrate, model, teach and guide.

The key to profiting from criticism is a receptive, teachable heart. Solomon wrote many practical verses in the book of Proverbs about the benefits of listening to reproof. The wise person not only listens to counsel, but appropriates the knowledge into his “repository” of wisdom. He is then able to apply the information, utilize it to sift through life choices, and make a good decision.

Parents need to establish consistent set of family rules that will ensure the safety and well being of all. In short, a good parent will train a child so that in any circumstance, he will respond in a predictable manner. Parents need to establish traditions, and other memorable events that will help their child know what it means to be a part of …

God the Father is both holy and loving. King David, along with his son Solomon, tells us the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” ( Psalm 111:10 ). We have discussed how loving our children with God's love can transform their lives. But we must also instill in our children a healthy reverence and fear of God.

Paul gives a startling insight into the dynamic of the parent-child relationship. He states that there are certain barriers to child-rearing that must be considered. If a child is provoked to anger or exasperated, it is difficult to train him/her effectively. Certain essential principles help a child to be compliant and teachable.

King Solomon declares that our tongues have the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21), He recognizes that with forethought, the tongue can heal, encourage and teach (Proverbs 16:23). However,our words can destroy relationships, break spirits and negate our witness (Proverbs 12:18).

This week’s study from the book of Proverbs will examine one of the most well-known verses in the Bible regarding God’s guidance. In four simple phrases, King Solomon records three essential principles for discerning God’s paths in Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” NIV Solomon encourages us to trust God, to refuse to lean on our own intellect in self-reliant pride, and to walk with God in worship and submission. In the final phrase, God gives a promise: He will surely guide us. Let’s examine the first phrase-trusting God completely. God appeared to Solomon twice in his lifetime. The first encounter is recorded in I Kings chapter three. When God appeared to the young monarch, Solomon referred to the impact his father’s faith had made upon him in 1 Kings 3:6: “Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.” NIV • What are your greatest challenges in being able to trust God with your life? • Can you remember a time when God spoke clearly to you as a result of your prayers? How did that make you feel? • How often do you search for God’s counsel? Do you enjoy remaining in His presence in prayer, patiently awaiting His answers, or is it really difficult to be patient? THE POET-KING Solomon received a remarkable legacy from his father David. King David, with all his foibles, powerfully taught his son about a life of trusting God. You see, David kept a diary. Every psalm ascribed to the Shepherd-King was a window into David’s soul. David’s poems were beautifully artistic, brutally honest, and deeply spiritual. Few children have inherited such a cherished gift from their parents! Psalms is divided into five books. Most of Book One (Psalms 1-41) is attributed to David. Here are just a few observations from David concerning God’s guidance: Psalm 5 is a tender song accompanied by flutes. David, surrounded by his enemies (Vs. 4-6,8) sighed heavily and earnestly cried out to God for wisdom: “Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies—make straight your way before me.” Psalm 5:8 NIV Psalm 16, a mitkam of David depicts a devoted man who delighted to remain in the center of God’s will (vs. 5-6). Verse seven paints a picture of David seeking God’s counsel at night: “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.” Ps. 16:7 NIV David’s most beloved poem, Psalm 23, teaches that God guides us in paths of righteousness for the sake of His kingdomplan: “He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Ps. 23:3 NIV Solomon learned that God leads us to play a part in His grand design.Psalm 25 is one of David’s most complete theological treatises discussing the dynamics of Divine revelation and human comprehension. In twenty-two short stanzas, David gives us tremendous insight into the heart of God. Verses 1-3 reveal that the person who lifts up his soul to God in trust will never be put to shame. Verses 4-7 is a model prayer for seeking God’s will. David writes that understanding God’s ways (His heart) intimately is the key to discovering how to respond to His leading. The rest of the Psalm discusses the significance of confession, humility and constant communion. The final picture King David paints describes a love relationship between creature and Creator: ”The LORD confides in those who fear him; He makes his covenant known to them.” Psalm 25:14 NIV • Take a brief moment and write a prayer to God. Ask Him for wisdom regarding the current struggles in your life. • Can you reflect on a time in your life when you got on your knees, asked God to guide you, and surrendered to God without relying upon your own wisdom? What did that feel like? Where did it lead you? Can you see the blessings that you reaped from this action of devotion? • Can you think of anyone you know that appears to trust God’s guidance in all they do? How do they do that? What do you observe in them? ONE MAN’S TESTIMONY “If we make life decisions apart from God’s leadership, we will flounder. Self-effort and self-reliance only produce frustration. When we seek God’s wisdom and direction, we become wise. We are freed from sin’s bondage and experience true fulfillment. Why, then, is it so hard for Christians to actually seek God’s counsel in all we do? Why do we make major life decisions, and then ask God to put His stamp of approval on our plans? A great example of this came years ago when it was obvious that God was calling me to a new place. The firm for which I had been working had just merged with another larger company. I had been the General Manager of our little eleven-person business. In the owner’s grace, he secured a job for me within the merger. The job was paltry-with little responsibility, a pay decrease, and a relocation from Denver, Colorado to Eugene, Oregon. Being young and totally sure of myself, I said ‘no thanks.’ I sent a proliferation of resumes to Denver employers. Quite frankly, at that point in my career, my resume and experience were impressive, yet there was no response. Frustrated, I finally began to pray about it. I clearly was nudged. The Holy Spirit said, ‘I need you in the Pacific Northwest.’ I stubbornly responded: ‘Are you sure? You have to be kidding! It rains there all the time!’ After a few weeks of struggling with God’s call and a couple of fruitless interviews, I decided I should seek employment in the Pacific Northwest. I subsequently sent fifteen letters of application to places in Washington state. To my surprise, twelve successful companies contacted me within a week’s time requesting interviews with me. Still unsure that God wanted me there (pretty dense wasn’t I?), I selected the five best, flew to Seattle/Tacoma, and interviewed. Each of the five companies offered me positions that were jobs I would really enjoy. Upon returning home, I received even more calls from other companies interested in hiring me. I ask you, why would God have to close every wrong door, nudge me, and then push me out the door to do what He wanted? If I had just sought His guidance, I would have more rapidly enjoyed His wisdom. I could have avoided three months of feeling inadequate while unemployed. I know the answer-I was too proud and selfish to seek His counsel. I failed to trust His leadership even when He made His will so obvious it was right in front of my face!”-Norm Bishop APPLYING THE TRUTH Read Proverbs 20:5; 18:13; 13:16; 19:2; and 13:5; Psalms 5, 16, 23 and 25. In the area below, write out the Scripture(s), thought(s), and question(s) from today’s devotional that you want to spend more time thinking about. What will you apply to your life?