We should each be able to go to bed every night and reflect back on the day and know that we took at least one action to move us a little closer to God and His intention for our lives. And that one thing is different for each of us. Here are five snapshots from scripture and five questions that show the power of focusing on ONE THING. 1. David “The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? . . . One thing I have desired of the Lord, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to inquire in His temple” (Psalm 27:1, 4 NKJV). David, a king, could have asked the Lord for more wealth or more power. But the one thing he asked was to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. What is one thing that you would ask of the Lord? 2. The Rich Young Ruler When Jesus was teaching, a rich young ruler asked him what he could do to inherit eternal life. Here’s what Jesus said. “‘You know the commandments: “Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.”’ And he said to him, ‘Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.’ And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, ‘You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.’ Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions” (Mark 10: 19-22 ESV). The ruler lacked trust in God because he wanted to keep all of his wealth. What is it that you lack? 3. Mary and Martha Jesus was at the home of these two sisters. Mary was at His feet worshipping Him, wanting to hear what He had to say. Martha was very busy doing the household chores, and so Martha said, “Jesus how come you’re not telling my sister to come and help?” And Jesus said to her: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, that which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10: 41-42). In the same way that Martha was distracted, we can become distracted with other things instead of focusing on our relationships with Christ. What is the one thing that is necessary in your life? 4. The Blind Man Who Was Healed by Jesus Jesus healed a man who had been blind since birth. The Pharisees wanted to catch Jesus committing a sin, so they questioned the healed man and tried to trick him into saying Jesus had done wrong. The healed man responded: “Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25 ESV). What is the one thing you know for certain? 5. The Apostle Paul In Prison While Paul was suffering in prison, he wrote this: “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended, but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). Paul had a rough life. And yet after everything he had been through, the exhortation he wanted to share was to know Christ personally. What is one thing that you must do in your life? David asked for one thing. The rich young ruler lacked one thing. Martha needed one thing. The blind man knew one thing. Paul did one thing. What is the one thing you ask, the one thing you need, the one thing you lack, the one thing you know you should do, or the one thing that you know for sure? What is the one thing you can focus on in your life that will bring glory to God and benefit yourself? What is the one thing you ask, you need, you lack, should do or the one thing that you know for…

Our world is rocked in the wake of mass shootings in our schools and churches. Dr. Russell Moore writes of his own personal pain as he shares the story of a grieving parent whose child was murdered in a mass shooting. “My friend called after losing his child in a hail of bullets in his classroom. He and his neighbors had just lived through, and will be living through for some time, the trauma of seeing in their own city one of the worst mass shootings in modern American history. I reflected after that conversation what my friend, a strong Christian and a respected leader, would say when asked by those around him, “Where was God in all of this?” He will have a word for his community, but for many Christians, when disaster or great evil strikes, this is a hard question to answer. Maybe that’s you. The first thing we must do in the aftermath of this sort of horror is to make sure that we do not take the name of God in vain. After a natural disaster or an act of terror, one will always find someone, often claiming the mantle of Christianity, opining about how this moment was God’s judgment on an individual or a city or a nation for some specified sin. Jesus told us specifically not to do this, after his disciples asked whether a man’s blindness was the result of his or his parents’ sin. Jesus said no to both (Jn. 9:1-12). Those self-appointed prophets who would blame the victims for what befalls them are just that, self-appointed. We should listen to Jesus and to his apostles, not to them. Those killed in a terror attack or in a tsunami or in an epidemic are not more sinful than all of the rest of us. We live in a fallen world, where awful, incomprehensible things happen. When an obvious and egregious injustice such as this one is done, we should stand where God does and see this as real evil, not as an illusion of evil. This means that our response to such should not be some sort of Stoic resignation but instead a lament with those around us who are hurting. Christians sometimes suppose that our non-Christian friends and neighbors want to hear a detailed explanation, to justify God in light of such horror. The Bible doesn’t give us easy answers. The Word of God instead speaks of the “mystery of iniquity” (2 Thess. 2:7). When tragedy fell upon Job, an ancient follower of God, and asked why such happened to him, God did not fully answer him. God instead spoke of his own power and his own presence. That’s exactly what we should do. We do not know why God does not intervene and stop some tragedies when he does stop others. What we do know, though, is that God stands against evil and violence. We know that God is present for those who are hurting. And we know that God will ultimately call all evil to a halt, in the ushering in of his kingdom. We know that God is, in the words of the hymn, both “merciful and mighty.” When my wife and I were going through a difficult time, years ago, a friend stopped by, a respected theologian who spoke often and well of God’s sovereign providence. I expected him to speak to us of how God was working in this tragedy we were facing. He didn’t. He cried with us. He sat with us. He prayed with us. And as he left, he turned and said, “Russell, I don’t know why God permitted this to happen to you, but I know this: Jesus loves you, and Jesus is alive and present right now in your life.” I’ve never forgotten those words. Our neighbors do not need us to provide easy answers to what is, this side of the eschaton, unexplainable. What they need, though, is a reminder for us that life is not the meaningless chaos it seems to be. There is a loving Presence at work in the universe. They need for us to weep and hurt with them, as Jesus did at the grave of his friend. In short, they need us to be a people of the cross, a people whose God is not distant and blank but a God who instead loved the world enough to send his Son to bear in his own body the full measure of the curse of evil. In the cross, we see evil and horror. We also see that God is there. And in the empty tomb, we see that death does not get the last word.

We see news stories about the impact of technology on our everyday lives all the time these days. Many of us started to think about how technology affects us personally. But how many of us have stopped to think about how it affects our children? 85% of mothers said they use technology to keep their children busy. Kids are receiving their first internet-capable device earlier and earlier. That same study showed that 83% of American households have tablets, and 77% have smartphones. Even in school, technology is abundant. Teachers set homework that requires online research and tools and use apps to manage that homework. Technology is always adapting and it’s here to stay, but many do not think about the safety risk in terms of cybersecurity. A recent study revealed a startling figure: 68% of parents never check their children’s online activity. And that online activity increases year after year. For a lot of children, the online world is more real than the real world. It is crucial to our children’s wellbeing that we understand what they see online, what is out there, both good and bad, and how it impacts their physical and emotional wellbeing. The problem, as many of us would eagerly admit, is that we feel we don’t really understand the online world. Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter are bewildering enough, without even mentioning 4chan and TOR. Furthermore, we don’t feel that we have the technical skills to navigate this complex landscape. The good news is that it’s not that difficult to put certain technical controls in place to protect your children online. Far more importantly, the best thing you can do to protect your children is to talk to them ; set clear boundaries for what and when they access online, but also to be there for your children when they make a mistake, or when they have gone too far. Isn’t that what parenting fundamentally comes down to? In this comprehensive guide, we outlined eight areas that you should pay attention to as you navigate this complex online world. Depending on the ages of your children, not all of it will apply to you. Think of it not only as guidelines for what you should do now but what you should pay attention to as your children grow. According to consumer research by Influence Central, the average age that children get their first smartphone is 10 years old. Giving your child a smartphone comes with numerous benefits. A phone is an excellent safety tool; your child can use it to let you know they safely reached their destination, call you for a ride, or call in case of an emergency. You can also use the GPS on their phone to track their location. Knowing that you can always reach your child is a tremendous peace of mind for a parent. Smartphones, however, can also be misused, and in some situations can make children vulnerable. Because smartphones are personal devices, we don’t often know what our children do on them, or how they use them. If you’re considering giving your child a smartphone, it helps to have some clearly outlined guidelines in place beforehand, so everyone is on the same page. If your child already has a smartphone, it’s not too late to review the family rules. Demonstrate to them that having a smartphone is a big responsibility. There are many precautions you can take to implement phone safety: · Have your kid sign a smartphone contract before you give them one. Print out a list of cellphone rules and stick it in a public place in your home. · Download parental controls. Parental control apps for younger children enable you to limit your child’s usage, determine their location, and monitor their calls and messages. Apps also allow you to shut off certain functions at different times. For example, disabling text messaging while driving. · Set limits when your child can use a smartphone and for how long each day. · Set a personal example for your child. Don’t bring your phone to the dinner table, and don’t text and drive. · Set up a charging station in a central location in your home. Phones should stay out of your child’s bedroom and they won’t be in use late at night. 2. Streaming content and smart TVs We like to think back to a time when the whole family gathered around the TV to watch something wholesome together. (In reality, many of us probably had a TV in our rooms, and spent many hours watching TV without much guidance from our parents.) That being said, streaming content has shot up in popularity, and there are more TV shows and movies available at our fingertips than ever before, much of it not particularly appropriate for kids. There are, however, some great benefits of streaming services . Many feature great, educational children’s programming and documentaries. Most don’t show any ads, meaning that your kids won’t be bombarded with commercial messaging from all sides like they are when they watch regular TV. You can open up an entire world for your children with streaming content – the key is how you use it. Most of the big streaming content providers have parental controls, some more robust than others. Netflix allows you to set up separate profiles for you and for your children. Using these tools, you can ensure that your kids only have access to age-appropriate content. Because Netflix’s children’s menu features a different color scheme than the regular menu, you can easily see whether your kids access the content permitted to them or not. However, this doesn’t stop kids from moving over to your profile, so you still have to be vigilant. iTunes and Apple TV allows parents to set rating levels for the content their children watch. By contrast, Amazon Prime features no parental controls, so the only thing to do is to logout of your account and not share the password. All of these tools, however, do not replace having frequent conversations with your children about what they watch. 3. Gaming consoles and online games According to the NPD group, 91% of American children aged two to 17 play video games. Gaming consoles have long been a focus of fear and concern for many parents. With so many games featuring violent or sexual content, it is important to be careful about the kinds of games your children play. In addition, console games that have a multiplayer component, or games that are entirely based online, are open to abuse from other players . Many games allow players from all over the world to chat with one another, potentially exposing kids to harassment and cyberbullying . Kids may also form relationships with other players and may give away their personal information. Games are also a great way for kids to develop a variety of skills. They help children develop problem-solving skills, learn how to commit to long-term goals, and how to work as part of a team. They can also be a great opportunity for family bonding. Luckily, most gaming consoles provide robust parental controls, so parents can monitor their children’s gameplay. Encourage your children to discuss the games they play. Make sure your child profile is set to private. Consider keeping the gaming console in a shared, social space. Study the age rating of the games. Use parental controls to set up profiles. Limit the type of people your child can speak to online. 4. Social media While the format has changed, parents have worried about their kids’ TV shows and video games for years. Social media, on the other hand, is a new worry to add to your plate. Social media usage is now ubiquitous amongst US teens; 71% use more than one social platform. Children nowadays also spend an enormous amount of time on social media. A survey by the non-profit group Common Sense Media showed that 8 to 12 year-olds were online six hours per day, much of it on social platforms, and 13 to 18 year-olds a whopping nine hours! According to a recent Harvard study, even though most social media platforms require users to be 13 years of age to sign up, 68% of parents surveyed had helped younger children set up an account. S ocial media can be particularly addictive for tweens and teens. It also opens the door to a variety of different issues, like cyberbullying, inappropriate sharing, and talking to strangers (more on those below). Access to social media is also central to teens’ developing social identity. It’s the way that they connect to their friends, and it can be a healthy way to hang out. The key is to figure out some boundaries so that it remains a positive experience. Enforce a safe environment. Do not let your kids on social media until they’re old enough. Keep the computer in a public location. Limit the amount of time spent on social media. Block location access to all apps. Adjust the privacy settings. Monitor your child’s online activity. 5. Cyberbullying Our children’s lives have moved online. Unfortunately, their bullies have moved online too. Cyberbullying is frequently in the news, with reports of teen suicides due to online harassment. Cyberbullying occurs across all of the platforms we have outlined above, and it comes in many forms: spreading rumors and sending threatening messages via social media, texting, or email, pretending to be another child and posting embarrassing material under their name, forwarding private photos without consent, and generally posting online about another child with the intent to humiliate or degrade them. Cyberbullying is particularly harmful because it is so public. In the past, if a kid was bullied on the playground, perhaps a few of his peers saw. Now, a child’s most private information can be splashed across the internet and is there permanently unless reported and taken down. Cyberbullying can negatively affect the online reputation not only of the victim, but also of the perpetrator, and have a deep impact on that child’s future, including college admissions and employment. It is also extremely persistent. If a child is the target of traditional bullying, his or her home is more often than not a place of refuge. Because digital platforms are constantly available, victims of cyberbullying struggle to find any relief. It’s often very difficult to tell if your child is being bullied online. It happens online, so parents and teachers are less likely to overhear or notice it. Fewer than half of children bullied online tell their parents or another adult what they are going through, according to internet safety organization i-SAFE. In fact, according to a US government survey, 21% of children aged 12 to 18 have experienced bullying, and an estimated 16% were bullied online. The best way to prevent cyberbullying or to stop it in its tracks is to be aware of your child’s behavior. A number of warning signs may present themselves. A child who is bullied may shut down their social media account and open a new one. He or she may begin to avoid social situations, even if they enjoyed being social in the past. Victims (and perpetrators) of cyberbullying often hide their screen or device when other people come into their vicinity and become cagey about what they do online. They may become emotionally distressed or withdrawn. 6. Privacy and information security As parents, we are most concerned about the effect of the online world on our children’s emotional and physical wellbeing. Children are susceptible to information security threats that can cause financial harm. These are the exact same threats that adults face: malware and viruses, phishing scams, and identity theft. The issue is children are far less experienced and are generally far more trusting than us cynical adults. To kids, sharing their personal details, like their full name or where they live, may not seem like such a big deal. They may even be tricked by a malicious third party into sharing your credit card details. There are a number of ways that hackers and thieves can get information out of children. Free downloadable games, movies, or even ringtones that market themselves to children can place viruses onto your computer and steal your information. Hackers posing as legitimate companies like Google send emails purporting to ask for your child’s password. Or, they may pose as one of your children’s friends. What should you communicate to your child? · Have a discussion with your kids about the big threats online today. Make sure they know what a phishing attack and a disreputable games website looks like, so they know not to fall for these scams. · Make sure they keep all of their information private and that they never publish their full name, phone number, address, or school they attend in a public place. · Talk to your kids about passwords. Having a strong password is the first and best measure to prevent hacking and identity theft. Using a secure password generatorlike the one we created is great for this occasion, and trying out passwords together is a fun way of ensuring your child’s password is as strong as possible. · Tell your kids to avoid using public wifi – this is an easy way for hackers to get into their devices. What you can do to create a safe environment: · Install a strong antivirus program on your home computer and the devices of all family members. · Think about installing a VPN on your computer. A VPN, or virtual private network, encrypts your connection and anonymizes your web browsing. This makes it far harder for hackers to access and steal your private information. · If you and your kids use a lot of different devices around the house, consider installing a VPN on your router. That way, all internet traffic that goes through the router will be protected, without having to install the VPN on every device. · Install an ad blocker so your children won’t have to face deceptive advertising that encourages them to download malicious programs onto your computer. · If your kids have smartphones, make sure that their security settings are set to maximum. 7. Viewing inappropriate content online Because the internet is so open and public, it is also a place where kids can stumble upon content intended for adults, content which they may find upsetting, confusing or distressing. “Inappropriate content” can mean many things to many different people, from swearing to violence to sexual nature. It’s not easy, but eventually, you will need to have a conversation with your children about what they might see online. Many children don’t go to their parents when they see something they perhaps shouldn’t have seen, for fear that their parents will be angry at them, and take away their devices or internet access. If your child comes to you with this type of issue, the best thing to do is to respond calmly and be open to discussion. If the content under discussion is sexual, your child will likely be embarrassed already, particularly when talking to their parents about these kinds of issues. Let them know you are there for them and are ready to answer any questions without judgment. Young people may see sexual content online for all kinds of reasons. They may have seen it by mistake, a friend might have sent it to them, or they may have sought it out themselves out of natural curiosity. It helps a great deal to talk to your kids honestly and frankly about sex, and a discussion about online pornography is a crucial part. A lot of research has shown that pornography can have a detrimental effect on young people, giving them distorted and unhealthy notions about sex. Pornography can also lead people to think of others as objects, rather than people with thoughts and feelings. At the same time, it’s totally normal to be curious about sex and relationships. This conversation is a great opportunity to direct your kids to positive resources about sexuality. There are also a number of steps you can take to try to prevent your kids from being exposed to content they’re not ready for , like setting up parental controls on your internet connection. Remember, though, that technical fixes can’t replace open communication with your child. Communicate with your child: · Let your kids know that they can always come to you if something is bothering them, or if they have questions about anything they have seen online. · Let them know that it’s totally normal to be curious about sex. Direct them to positive online resources like Brook and Thinkuknow . Thinkunow is particularly good for younger children, and it includes different, age-appropriate sites for different age groups. You may find it helpful to look through the site together and discuss some of the issues. Steps you can take to block inappropriate content: · Set filters to block inappropriate content like pornography. Your ISP (internet service provider) should provide free parental controls, as should most gaming consoles. These are usually pretty easy to set up. · Set Google to “safe” mode so that your children won’t inadvertently see inappropriate content in search results. · Install an ad blocker to prevent viruses that might have inappropriate content. 8. Online predators In our last section, we take a look at the darkest and scariest online threat of all: online child predators. According to the US Department of Justice, 13% of young people with internet access have been the victims of unwanted sexual advances, and one in 25 children have been solicited for offline contact. Predators engage in a practice called “grooming”. In other words, they attempt to form a relationship with a child with the intention of latter abusing them. The internet has made life a lot easier for child predators. Predators target their victims through any and all online mediums: social media, email, text messages, and more. By far the most common method, however, is via an online chatroom: 76% of online encounters with sexual predators begin in a chat room. Predators often create multiple online identities, posing as children to trick kids into talking to them. They discover as much as they can about the children they are targeting by researching those children through their social media profiles, and what they have posted on chatrooms. They may contact a number of children at once but tend to concentrate their efforts on the most vulnerable. These predators aren’t satisfied with merely chatting with children online. They frequently trick or coerce their victims into online sexual activity, via webcam or by sending sexual images. They may also attempt to meet and abuse their victims in person. It’s not always easy to tell if a child is being groomed, particularly because most keep it a secret from their parents. There are a number of warning signs: children who are being groomed by predators may become very secretive because the predator often threatens the child not to share information with their parents or friends. Children can also become sad and withdrawn, distracted, and have sudden mood swings. It is absolutely crucial to let your child know that you are there for them and that they can talk to you about anything. What should you communicate to your child? · Have a discussion with your child about the risks of online predators. Make sure they know to be careful about who they talk to online, and not to share any personal information with strangers. · Tell your kids that they can come to you with any problem, no matter what it is. · Think about working through some educational content with your children relating to this topic, like the excellent videos at Thinkuknow. · If you think that your child is at risk, seek support from their school, a social worker, and the police. Conclusion There are lots of different technical tools available out there to help keep your kids safe online. These vary from VPNs and antivirus software to internet filters and parental controls. But none of these are really enough to help keep your child s afe. As we’ve repeated over and over in this guide, the key isn’t mastering a set of complicated technical tools. (In fact, most are very easy to set up, so don’t let a lack of technical ability hold you back). It also doesn’t mean you have to master the latest internet fad every time one pops up – believe us, you will never keep up! The far more important, but also far more difficult task, is to have frequent, open and honest discussions with your children about their lives . Remember, internet companies, social media networks, gaming providers, and everyone else in the online space may be able to help you set content limits, but they don’t necessarily have your child’s best interests at heart. The very best person to keep your child safe online is you. Talking about how to stay safe on the internet is an excellent conduit to build a trusting and positive relationship with your child. Internet safety needs to be a priority for every parent and caregiver. If you have found this guide useful, consider sharing it with friends and family via Facebook and Twitter. www.vpnmonitor.com . Used by permission.

Hurricanes pummel our coastlines leaving flood damage and power outages. In third world countries like Haiti, storms can wreak havoc on everyone and everything in their wake. We have all had our own hurricanes. Here are Beth Moore’s words of encouragement when you face storms in your life: “Have you had times when a stab of pain was personal enough and stunning enough to somehow cause you to put your hand over your mouth and keep it there a while? Times when you want to scream, “What is going on here? What is this madness? How did this happen??” If you’re like me, you find it much easier to talk about a storm in its wake. In the middle of it, you’re just trying to hold on tight to the edges of the boat and keep from throwing up while it rocks to and fro. I’m still in it so I’d rather not even speak to it directly and once again ask you to resist conjecture as well. This is such a public format. I don’t want anyone involved in the challenge hurt by any words here. There’s enough hurt. But I want to be able to minister here and serve here and share with you even in the middle of a hard situation. Please let me leave it at that. Staying general invites more people to relate anyway. One reason I have a quiet come over me in a season like this is the pure length of time that can be involved. Yesterday someone I’m crazy about shot me a very loving text that included, “How is it all going?” and I never answered it because it’s going the same as it went last week. Anybody understand what I’m saying? This dyed in the wool sanguine likes to say, “SO MUCH BETTER!” I don’t like to burden people long term. Oh heck, I don’t like to be burdened long term either. Who does?? In our humanity, we all wear out eventually. But sometimes the fact is, we’re not quite at the point of so much better yet. We will be. Make no mistake. Those of us who are willing to let Jesus minister to us in the deepest parts of our souls and knead the crushed grain of brokenness into break will indeed be so much better. It’s just a matter of time. Satan will indeed be defeated. And God will make sure he’s sorry. I decided I had the words to write to you – not because I suddenly felt talky but – because Charles Spurgeon supplied them to me. They landed on a sore spot in my soul and brought some comfort and insight. I thought I’d just share the whole thing with you then make a closing comment or two. From Morning and Evening , today’s date… “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.” — Psalm 55:22 Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labor to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the “broken cistern” instead of to the “fountain;” a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are “careful for nothing” because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee.” Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and Evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers. I like to do my early morning reading out of a different translation than the one I use the rest of the time. Different wording often has a way of stirring up a different response in me. So, a couple of translations sit on my desk where I have my quiet time. One is always The NET Bible because Melissa gave it to me several years ago and it has (literally) “60,932 Translators’ Notes.” If I’m not presently doing a Bible study in my quiet time like the one I just finished of Kelly Minter’s, then often I’ll open up a devotional reading like Spurgeon’s. Because many of the daily devotionals don’t have longer Bible readings assigned with them, I check the verse they’re using then turn to that chapter in my Bible and read it. (True to form, I’m making this explanation harder than it has to be. I’ll try to cut to the chase.) SO, this morning I opened up The NET Bible and read a large portion of Psalm 55. When I got to verse 22 – the verse captioned in the Spurgeon devotional – I sat tight on the NET translation: “Throw your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the godly to be upended.” Maybe you’re visual, too, and right about now you’re picturing throwing . Like hauling off and throwing something as hard as you can. And maybe getting a little frustration and madness out of your soul while you’re at it. Maybe crying while you’re doing it. Even out loud. Throw. Before you’re tempted to hold it to your chest and suffocate yourself nearly to death with it. Throw. Then something else spoke to me. It was one of those 60, 932 scholars’ notes. The comment footnotes the word “you” at the end of the phrase “Throw your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you .” I’ll just cut and paste the note from my Bible software so you can see it for yourself. “The pronoun is singular; the psalmist addresses each member of his audience individually.” Biblical Studies Press. (2006; 2006). The NET Bible First Edition Notes (Ps 55:22). Biblical Studies Press. Individually. We EACH have the invitation to throw our burdens upon the Lord and let Him sustain us. Not the “we” of us. The “you” and “me” of us. We also each have the responsibility. In other words, no one can throw our burden on the Lord for us. We can’t call in a relief pitcher. Don’t misunderstand. We can certainly call upon people to pray for us and with us and the New Testament adamantly tells us to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) but listen. There is a difference between a burden that is entrusted for us in a season that we are to partner in sharing and carrying. Say, for instance, a long term illness or thorn in the flesh. But the part of the burden that we are inadvertently – even accidentally – playing God over needs to be THROWN, Girlfriend. The part we’re suffocating under because we’re no longer walking, we’re laying down with it on top of us, needs to be… Thrown. When we keep trying to figure out what would fix it, then we try that, and it doesn’t work so we wring our hands and go to the next fix, we need to throw it. We cannot be Savior. We know that because, Lord help us, we cannot even save ourselves. I so don’t want to be depressing this morning. Forgive me. See? That’s why I’m not as anxious to write while I’m right in the middle of something. But, after this morning’s reading, I don’t feel as depressed about it. I feel a little lighter. A little less weight on my chest. My hope is that you do, too. And if you do, it won’t be this post. It will be Jesus. Oh, you guys. I love you so much. I care so much. Don’t grow weary. God is working. Jesus IS Savior. HE WILL SAVE.” http://www.lproof.org/ . Excerpts from Beth Moore Blog, May 26, 2012. Used by permission.

What makes you happy? Can you imagine that true happiness comes only from loving God completely? The Bible describes this delight in experiential terms — an existential reality that is meant to be tasted, felt, and seen. Proverbs 3:7–8 describes the experience like this: Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be  healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones  (emphasis mine). If you read this slowly, just slow enough to taste the truth as it goes by, don’t you crave this sense of refreshment? Not surprisingly, God’s designs for our sanctification are most satisfying. In contrast, a life in sin is tiring, placing joy just outside our reach. There are particular realities to the Christian faith that we’d sometimes rather experience than expound, and so too it may be with the joy of holiness. But I believe the Bible gives us some indication of the nature of this joy and happiness that come from holiness. It isn’t simply a “you gotta experience it to believe it” reality. So, let’s ask the question: “Why does holiness bring happiness?” We could say, and I think we’d be right, that going along with God’s intentions for life brings us happy living. That’s not a difficult conclusion to come to, and the Bible is full of examples of the miseries of the foolish. But we should say more. Holiness brings happiness because it creates a clearer vision of the fullness of Christ. Holiness clears our palette, so to speak, of the deceitfulness of sin. We cannot taste and see the goodness of the Lord if we are satisfying our sinful cravings. Sin is deceitful (Heb. 3:13), veiling our vision of Christ. It magnifies idols and self rather than Christ, who through the Holy Spirit, transforms us from one degree of glory to the next (2 Cor. 3:18; 1 John 3:2–3). John Calvin illuminates the connection between holiness and happiness. “Indeed,” he writes, “we shall not say that God is known where there is no religion or piety.” Let me quickly rescue Calvin’s use of “piety.” I realize it comes fully loaded with confusion and abuse today, so we should give a definition. What Calvin means by “piety” has a lot to say about our discussion on happiness. Here’s how he defines it: “I call ‘piety’ that reverence joined with love of God which the knowledge of his benefits induces.” It’s interesting to note that Calvin’s view of piety is synonymous with holy living and depends upon our happiness in God. For “unless they establish their complete happiness in him,” says Calvin, “they will never give themselves truly and sincerely to him.” In other words, unless we are holy, we will never be happy. But unless we find our happiness fully in the Lord, we will never be holy. We must be careful at this point. If we allow the world to define our terms as opposed to the Bible, we can lose sight of a few very important things. We aren’t pursuing holiness in order to be happy with ourselves. No, our holiness focuses our vision on Christ, a vision that satisfies us with every glance, and clears away all that would ensnare us from looking. The longer I live as a Christian the more it becomes apparent that the holy life — a life lived with a conscience before God — is a happy life. Sadly, it takes some misery to see it. Sin not only offends God, it disrupts the Christian’s communion with God and forces him to sense his Maker’s displeasure. This, of course, results in all sorts of unfortunate consequences, not the least of which is joylessness. There is no casual way to say it other than the pleasure that springs from a peaceful conscience and communion with God cannot exist while the Christian lives in sin. This unhappy communion with God, so to speak, thankfully, is not one between a judge and the guilty, but of Father and child. That is really good news. And the rod that corrects is from the Good Shepherd, not a tyrant. Nevertheless, the existential realities of the effects of sin are real, and we are better Christians when we let the wounds of our sin do their work, revealing the misery of sin and the pleasures of holiness. So then, the line of logic goes like this: Real and lasting joy — a happiness that refreshes our bones — only comes from tasting and seeing the goodness of the Lord. Therefore, let us make every effort to put aside everything that entangles our affections and obscures our sight of Him.?

As the father of five sons, I find myself cringing if the news comes on in front of them. With high-profile men seen to be using and abusing women in the highest realms of politics, government, sports, and entertainment, I sometimes wonder how to keep the concept of the predatory, misogynist man from being normalized for my sons. The truth is, though, this is not just a struggle for those of us who parent boys. Every Christian teaches the next generation of men, since all of us are responsible for building up the body of Christ. So what’s most important in rearing boys to respect women? Sameness and Distinctiveness The mistreatment of women—in thought, word, or deed—comes when one ignores the interplay of sameness and distinctiveness when it comes to men and women. Men and women are, before anything else, the same, in that we are created together in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27), called together to the cultivation of the cosmos (Gen. 1:28), and heirs together of the kingdom of God in Christ (Gal. 3:28-29). We have the same origin, the same gospel, and the same destiny. At the same time, the Bible makes clear distinctions between maleness and femaleness, sometimes speaking to specific callings and vulnerabilities of each, and detailing responsibilities of each to the other. If we deemphasize or ignore either of these truths, we can end up empowering the mistreatment of women and girls by men and boys. The Bible does not see vulnerability as a sign of a lack of importance. Tweet Share We can over-emphasize male/female distinctions in a way that can lead boys to see women as entirely other, or as weak and needy without a man. This can lead to a whole spectrum of ways that men can minimize the dignity and callings of women. Sometimes this shows up as the “chivalrous” man who would never assault or abuse a woman but who also never seeks out the gifts and leadership that God has given to women. Sometimes, in its darkest form, this ends up in a man who sees a woman as an object for his appetites, whether for sex or for anger or for the humiliation of others deemed weaker than he. We can over-emphasize this sameness, though, in a way that mutes the unique vulnerabilities that can arise in the male/female dynamic. The Bible calls on all of us to never treat any other human being as a means to an end, and not to fight or quarrel with one another. The Bible often, though, specifically, speaks to men against mistreating women, and toward the honor and care for women (Eph. 5:25-30; 1 Tim. 5:2; 1 Pet. 3:7; Jas. 1:27). Why is this so? The Bible does not see vulnerability as a sign of a lack of importance. In fact, this is quite the opposite for a people of a crucified Christ. Virtually everyone in our society can agree that there are special vulnerabilities for women in our society, of their potential mistreatment by men. Some of this has to do with the fact that women are generally (though certainly not always) not as physically strong as men, and thus vulnerable to harm. Some of it has to do with the way children are born and nurtured. A man can more easily abandon his responsibilities to his children than can a woman who carries these children in her own body. Some of this vulnerability is cultural. One would strain to think of a man-denigrating matriarchy in the world today or in the past, but woman-oppressing patriarchies are sadly common, and indeed all around us if we define a pagan patriarchy for what it is: one that bases the worth of women and girls on their sexual attractiveness and availability to men. We are not to conform to that spirit of this present darkness. How do we communicate this to the next generation? First, fathers and male teachers, especially, can highlight the ways they learn from and are sharpened by godly, strong women—from the biblical examples of such leaders as Ruth and Priscilla and Lydia and our Lord’s mother Mary to our more immediate mothers- and sisters-in-Christ. If you are married, men, pay attention and give respect to the counsel of your wife. If you are a pastor, do not patronize women in your sermon illustrations or introductions. Highlight the creation and eschaton callings of women bound up in our common inheritance. Do not let the young men around you ever see you waving away or justifying sexual predation, misogynistic comments, or violence against women. Tweet Share At the same time, emphasize the horror of a man mistreating women. Do not let the boys and young men around you ever, even for a millisecond, see you waving away or justifying sexual predation, misogynistic comments, or violence against women by a sports figure because he plays for your team or a politician because he belongs to your party or an entertainer because he makes you laugh. Your hypocrisy cannot only point the next generation away from Jesus, but may also point them toward the way of predation. Discipline boys who hit other boys, of course, but give an exponentially heightened gravity of rebuke to boys who hit girls. We want to redirect early the satanic urge to strike out at others in anger, but that’s especially true of future men who will use their perceived “power” against vulnerable women and girls. The devil hates women enough to want them victimized by predatory men. The devil hates men enough to want them warped into predators or abusers. Let’s model a different way—that of a Christ who sacrifices himself for his Bride, and who treats that Bride not as a servant but as a friend (Jn. 15:15), not as an object but as a joint-heir (Rom. 8:17). www.russellmoore.com . Used by permission of the author.

What is the difference between a mission statement and a vision statement? TopNonprofits.com distinguishes them this way: Mission Statement (What You Do): A one-sentence statement describing the reason an organization or program exists and used to help guide decisions about priorities, actions, and responsibilities. Vision Statement (Desired End-State): A one-sentence statement describing the clear and inspirational long-term desired change resulting from an organization or program’s work. For this list, we’ll look at 30+ church vision statements collected from churches notable for their size, influence, or communications ability. Details on how this list was compiled can be found by scrolling down to the bottom of the page. For examples of mission statements, check out 50 examples here. General Findings The best vision statements are  inspirational, clear, memorable, and concise . Church vision statements are often much too long to remember. The average length of the church vision statements here (even if you exclude the longest 3) is a full 23.8 words compared to only 14.6 on Top Nonprofit’s Example Vision Statements The shortest contains only 4 words (Westover Hills) The longest mission statement from the this list contains 279 words (Hillsong) A number of churches base their vision (and/or mission) statements around the great commission, but see the difference between Christ Fellowship’s (6 words) and Celebration Church’s 50 word versions. Many churches intentionally or unintentionally blended elements of mission statements (what they do) into their visions. 30+ Church Vision Statements Westover Hills (San Antonio, TX) : Making New, Making Great. (4 words) Christ Fellowship (Miami, FL) : To make disciples of all nations. (6 words) The Journey (St Louis, MO) : Growing Disciples. Starting Churches. (4 words) HighPoint Church (Memphis, TN) : To be a place where LOVE WORKS. (7) FairHaven (Centerville, OH) : To reach the greater Dayton community and expand the Kingdom of God. (12) Christ Church of the Valley (Peoria, AZ) : Impacting 100,000 Phoenix area residents by the year 2020. (9) The Rock (San Diego, CA):  To be a global and highly trusted model of relevant and innovative evangelism. (13) Gateway Scottsdale (Scottsdale, AZ) : To see people saved, healed, set free, discipled, equipped, empowered and serving. (12) East 91st Street Christian Center (Indianapolis, IN):  To become an equipping and mobilizing church that transforms our world for Jesus Christ. (14) The Potter’s House (Dallas, TX):  We are the voice and the hand that encourages people to change their lives with hope, comfort and peace. (19) NewSpring Church (Anderson, SC) : To continue growing, impacting lives and using technology and the arts to reach 100,000 people for Jesus Christ. (18) Willow Creek (South Barrington, IL) : We believe all people matter to God and that Christ’s message and ministry through the local church is the hope of the world. (23) Perimeter Church (Johns Creek, GA) : To make and deploy mature and equipped followers of Christ for the sake of Family, Community and Global transformation. (19) Glide (San Francisco, CA) : To create a radically inclusive, just and loving community mobilized to alleviate suffering and break the cycles of poverty and marginalization. (21) Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church (Ft Lauderdale, FL) : To rescue and replenish a world lost and broken by sin, thereby “making all things new” ( Revelation 21:5 ). ( 19) Kensington Community Church (Troy, MI) : To turn people who think God is irrelevant into fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ through high-impact churches. (19) Missio Dei Church (Cincinnati, OH) : To see the people of Cincinnati forever changed by the Gospel of Jesus and holding dear to Him as their source of all joy and worth. (26) White Horse Church (Sydney, Australia) : To plant the gospel in key Australian, population dense, urban centres and from that seed to grow churches that engage the city, with, for, because, about, Jesus. (27) Brainerd Baptist (Chattanooga, TN) : To see God through Christ deliver individuals from the bondage of sin, disciple them into faithful followers of Christ, and deploy them as leaders to the nations for the glory of God. (22) Church of Christ the King (Brighton, England):  To be a Christ-centred Church in an influential City, which multiplies and helps other Churches towards these shared goals, across the region, Western Europe and beyond. (27) Austin Stone Community Church (Austin, TX) : To build a great city, renewed and redeemed by a gospel movement, by being a church for the city of Austin that labors to advance the gospel throughout the nations. (30) Gateway Church (Southlake, TX) : To bring people to Jesus and membership in his family, develop them to Christlike maturity, and equip them for their ministry in the church and life mission in the world, in order to magnify God’s name.”(36) Redeemer Presbyterian Church (New York, NY) : To build a great city for all people through a gospel movement that brings personal conversion, community formation, social justice and cultural renewal to New York City and, through it, to the world. (33) City on a Hill (Melbourne, Australia) : We not only want City on a Hill to be famous for being all about Jesus, we want the person and work of Jesus to be famous in our city. This fame begins in our own lives, and extends into our homes, workplaces, universities and city. (46) Phoenix First (Phoenix, AZ) : To be the church that displays the love of Christ and connects with people of all walks of life through our creative services, discipleship, outreach, and the establishment of multiple campuses by streaming our Weekend Experience services globally. (38) Celebration Church (Jacksonville, FL) : “Therefore go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you, always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:19-20 NIV (50) Glad Tidings (Omaha, NE) : For saints and seekers. For individuals and families. For those more or less fortunate. For young and old. For re, yellow, black, and white. For blue collars, white collars, and no collars. For Omaha locals and foreign refugees. At Glad Tidings, the good news is for all people. (48) Biltmore Baptist (Arden, NC) : “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:18-20 (62) Mars Hill (Grandville, MI) : As a community, we’re devoted to building an engaged, passionate, spiritually healthy community of people that makes up Mars Hill. We’re also devoted to engaging and impacting one another and others, believing that Jesus himself set an example of service and that we’ve been given the responsibility to follow it. (50) Planetshakers (Melbourne, Australia) : To bring Christ to their world because… “the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow to them a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for morning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair. They will be called mighty oaks, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” – Isaiah 61:1-3 ( 127) Saddleback (Lake Forest, CA) : “It is the dream of a place where the hurting, the depressed, the frustrated, and the confused can find love, acceptance, help, hope, forgiveness, guidance, and encouragement. It is the dream of sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with the hundreds of thousands of residents in south Orange County. It is the dream of welcoming 20,000 members into the fellowship of our church family-loving, learning, laughing, and living in harmony together. It is the dream of developing people to spiritual maturity through Bible studies, small groups, seminars, retreats, and a Bible school for our members. It is the dream of equipping every believer for a significant ministry by helping them discover the gifts and talents God gave them. It is the dream of sending out hundreds of career missionaries and church workers all around the world, and empowering every member for a personal life mission in the world. It is the dream of sending our members by the thousands on short-term mission projects to every continent. It is the dream of starting at least one new daughter church every year. It is the dream of at least fifty acres of land, on which will be built a regional church for south Orange County-with beautiful, yet simple, facilities including a worship center seating thousands, a counseling and prayer center, classrooms for Bible studies and training lay ministers, and a recreation area. All of this will be designed to minister to the local person-spiritually, emotionally physically, and socially-and set in a peaceful, inspiring garden landscape.” (254) Hillsong (Sydney, Australia) : “The Church that I see is a Church of influence. A Church so large in size that the city and nation cannot ignore it. A Church growing so quickly that buildings struggle to contain the increase. I see a Church whose heartfelt praise and worship touches Heaven and changes earth; worship which influences the praises of people throughout the earth, exalting Christ with powerful songs of faith and hope. I see a Church whose altars are constantly filled with repentant sinners responding to Christ’s call to salvation. Yes, the Church that I see is so dependent on the Holy Spirit that nothing will stop it nor stand against it; a Church whose people are unified, praying and full of God’s Spirit. The Church that I see has a message so clear that lives are changed forever and potential is fulfilled through the power of His Word; a message beamed to the peoples of the earth through their television screens. I see a Church so compassionate that people are drawn from impossible situations into a loving and friendly circle of hope, where answers are found and acceptance is given. I see a people so Kingdom-minded that they will count whatever the cost and pay whatever the price to see revival sweep this land. The Church that I see is a Church so committed to raising, training and empowering a leadership generation to reap the end-time harvest that all its ministries are consumed with this goal. I see a Church whose head is Jesus, whose help is the Holy Spirit and whose focus is the Great Commission. YES, THE CHURCH THAT I SEE COULD WELL BE OUR CHURCH – HILLSONG CHURCH.” (279) HOW THE LIST WAS COMPILED Visions statements were gathered from organizations found on 3 of our other lists;  Top Ranked Churches in America , Top 20 Largest Gigachurches in America , and  40 Great Church Websites . 30 were then selected for this list based on length and organized roughly from shortest to longest (based on number of characters). The number in parenthesis at the end of each line depicts the number of non-branded words included in their vision statement. In order to standardize the list, we removed things like “[Brand’s] vision is” or “The vision statement of [Brand]” when it created redundancy. www.churchrelevance.com .   Used by permission.

Augustine and Aquinas—two of history’s most influential theologians—imagined that in Heaven people would focus exclusively on God and that relationships between human beings would be minimal or insignificant.[i] These great theologians were swayed by Christoplatonism. For the most part, they didn’t seem to grasp that the eternal Heaven will be on Earth, where people will live and work in a relational society, glorifying God not merely as individuals but as a family in rich relationship with each other. Near the end of his life, however, Augustine significantly changed his view of Heaven. He said, “We have not lost our dear ones who have departed from this life, but have merely sent them ahead of us, so we also shall depart and shall come to that life where they will be more than ever dear as they will be better known to us, and where we shall love them without fear of parting.”[ii]He also said, “All of us who enjoy God are also enjoying each other in Him.”[iii] Do you have a close friend who’s had a profound influence on you? Do you think it is a coincidence that she was in your dorm wing or became your roommate? Was it accidental that your desk was near his or that his family lived next door or that your father was transferred when you were in third grade so that you ended up in his neighborhood? God orchestrates our lives. “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live” (Acts 17:26). Since God determined the time and exact places you would live, it’s no accident which neighborhood you grew up in, who lived next door, who went to school with you, who was part of your church youth group, who was there to help you and pray for you. Our relationships were appointed by God, and there’s every reason to believe they’ll continue in Heaven. God’s plan doesn’t stop on the New Earth; it continues. God doesn’t abandon His purposes; He extends and fulfills them. Friendships begun on Earth will continue in Heaven, getting richer than ever. Will some friendships be closer than others? Augustine claimed, “In the city of Godthere will be no special friendships. . . . All special attachments will be absorbed into one comprehensive and undifferentiated community of love. . . . The universalized love of heaven permits no exclusive, restricted circles of friends.”[iv] But how does this position stand up to Scripture? Just because we’ll be sinless doesn’t mean we won’t be drawn to certain people more than others. We’ll like everyone, but we’ll be closer to some than others. Jesus was closer to John than to any of the other disciples. Jesus was closer to Peter, James, and John than to the rest of the Twelve, and closer to the Twelve than to the seventy, and closer to the seventy than to His other followers. He was close to Lazarus and Martha, and closer still to their sister Mary. He was so close to His mother that while He was dying on the cross, He instructed John to care for her after His death. Since Christ was closer to some people than to others, clearly there can’t be anything wrong with it. In Heaven there won’t be cliques, exclusiveness, arrogance, posturing, belittling, or jealousy. But when friends particularly enjoy each other’s company, they are reflecting God’s design. If, as you walk about the New Jerusalem, you see Adam and Eve holding hands as they look at the tree of life, would you begrudge them their special friendship? Perhaps you’re disappointed that you’ve never had the friendships you long for. In Heaven you’ll have much closer relationships with some people you now know, but it’s also true that you may never have met the closest friends you’ll ever have. Just as someone may be fifty years old before meeting her best friend, you may live on the New Earth enjoying many friendships before meeting someone who will become your dearest friend. Maybe your best friend will be someone sitting next to you at the first great feast. After all, the sovereign God who orchestrates friendships will be in charge of the seating arrangements. On the New Earth we’ll experience the joy of familiarity in old relationships and the joy of discovery in new ones. As we get to know each other better, we’ll get to know God better. As we find joy in each other, we’ll find joy in Him. No human relationships will overshadow our relationship with God. All will serve to enhance it. [i] Augustine, quoted in Colleen McDannell and Bernhard Lang, Heaven: A History (New York: Vintage Books, 1988), 58. [ii] Ibid., 60. [iii] Augustine, On the Christian Doctrine, 1:32–33. [iv] Augustine, quoted in McDannell and Lang, Heaven: A History, 64–65.

The world around us is not just wandering, but running, away from the biblical foundational truths concerning marriage and Who created it. So it would then follow that worldly solutions won’t fix the problem. Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking in which they were created. This statement is simply profound and true. It’s also true that using something in a manner contradictory to its design often damages that tool or item. And in some cases the damage is irreparable. Therefore, when sex and marriage are used in contradiction to God’s design, it results in pain. Sexual intercourse creates a chemical bond–oxytocin–between people, or in the use of porn, the image on the screen. When a bond is created and torn apart, wounds result. It’s unavoidable. The variable is how severe those wounds will be. But make no mistake, there will be painful wounds, and they won’t heal overnight. Establishing a Biblical Perspective In the Bible, God gave us the foundation for marriage and the parameters in which we are to live as husbands and wives. He gives us these rules for our good and protection as well as great freedom to experience all the joy and riches He intends marriage to be. These nine verses give us a solid footing to rebuild a damaged marriage. It is by no means exhaustive, but they are a great starting point. 1 – Genesis 1:26-27, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth […] God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.’” Man and woman had incredibly divine beginnings. Man and woman were created whole and unbroken. Notice here that God gave them authority to rule over the earth , not only the man. 2 – Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” In all that God had created, He said it was good. Yet Adam was without a suitable helper. It’s worth noting that Jesus Christ Himself uses the term “helper” to describe the Holy Spirit to the disciples as His crucifixion grew near. Our wives are amongst a rare-few called “helper” (little h) in the Bible . We as men and husbands must be paying attention to this truth. We’ll explore this truth a bit more later. 3 – Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” The reason, revealed in verse 23, is because woman is “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” and by that design, marriage rejoins man and women as ‘one flesh’ as they were before the fall. God made it clear that we men are to leave all others and cling to our wives. It’s a subtle note of the sacrificialleadership we are to take responsibility for. 4 – Proverbs 31:10-11, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” The NIV phrases it a wife of “noble character.” In the original Greek, it means “valor, value, being able or to be desired.” And we as husbands are to trust this wife in the depths of our heart, mind, and soul, for her worth is “far above jewels.” 5 – 1 Corinthians 7:4-5, “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” God designed the sexual relationship in marriage for pleasure and procreation. He also designed it for our protection so that Satan may not tempt us to sin because we lack self-control. Sex outside of marriage opens the door for Satan to tempt us and draw us away from our God-given responsibilities as men. 6 – Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” This verse speaks of all Christ endured up to His crucifixion on the cross. Although completely innocent of any guilt, sin, or misbehaviors, He took our guilt, sin, and punishment upon Himself. In the context of this verse, to give ourselves up as Christ did means a ‘turning over’ of our self to and for our wives. Men, this doesn’t mean we’re never the guilty party, it means we have no excuse to treat our bride poorly if she’s having a rough day. In a word, it means sacrifice. 7 – Ephesians 5:28, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.” This verse reemphasizes what Genesis 2:24 said, marriage makes us one flesh. And Christ’s love for His church provides a model for husbands to love their wives. 8 – Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” As husbands, we must ensure that our love for our wife, like Christ’s for His people, always puts her interests first. In particular, husbands must scrupulously avoid the temptation to resent her being the person she is, to become bitter or angry when she turns out to be, like him, a real human being, and not merely the projection of his own hopes or fantasies. 9 – 1 Peter 3:7, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” This knowledge is beneficial to the husband-wife relationship: knowledge of God’s purposes and principles for marriage; knowledge of your wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations; knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional, and spiritual realms; etc. A husband who lives according to such knowledge will greatly enrich his marriage relationship—yet such knowledge can only be gained through regular study of God’s Word and regular, unhurried private time spent together as husband and wife. Husbands, You Have What It Takes If your marriage is broken and feels beyond repair, know hope exists. God’s grace covers a multitude of sins and empowers us to live healthy, abundant lives with thriving marriages. I’ve chosen to focus primarily on the verses that speak to the men as it relates to building or rebuilding a marriage. Men have the primary responsibility to lead and nourish the marriage and home spiritually. That does not mean that women and wives are without God-given responsibilities–it’s clear they are. By expanding the reading around nearly all of the verses in this article, you can see that. For over half of our marriage, I did not understand the order that God ordained for marriage. The call of God for mutual submission and sacrifice on behalf of both husband and wife is part of that order. Never are our wives to be doormats or treated like property or servants. She is heir to the same Kingdom and family of Jesus Christ as any male child of God is. Men, be mindful of whose daughter you married. She is the creation and daughter of the Most High King of kings. As such we need to be ever asking Christ to help us understand how He would have us treat His daughter, and then do so.

Dear Roger, Jesus said, “Resist not evil”, turn the other cheek” and other similar pacifist type sayings. But yet, we in America continue to support and fight in what we call “Just Wars”. How does one reconcile Jesus sayings as an individual/nation in defense against genocide or terrorism? Some have suggested there is one standard for individuals, while there is another standard for “Government”. And what role does the Christian church play in support of a “Just War’? Are we fighting a modern day crusade? Sincerely, Jim Dear Jim, Many years ago, a man standing beside me on the harbor pier in Thessaloniki confessed, “I just killed a man.” “Excuse me!” “I just killed six men.” Silence. His friend broke the silence with one word: “Kosovo”. Immediately I understood. He was an American soldier striving to keep the peace in the Bosnia-Herzegovina conflict in the early sixties. The Serbs (Orthodox Christians), Croats (Catholics) and ethnic Albanians (Muslims) were decimating each other at will. Finally the Serbs gained the upper hand and proceeded to kill over 200,000 Albanians (genocide). Is it not sad that the ones committing genocide were the orthodox Christians? Silence. He began to tell his story. “We knew that the Serbs were using hospitals as protective human shields. It was my job, along with three others to check out this particular hospital. We expected an ambush and got what we feared. We turned a corner and six men jumped out from a hallway on our left. I was better trained and that made the difference. I shot all six and was proclaimed a hero. But, I don’t feel like a hero. I feel like a murderer. “My commander is recommending me for a medal. He gave me two weeks off for some rest and recovery. Eleven days and I am just as much a wreck as I was when I left. “My conscience is killing me. I feel that God is angry with me and will make me pay for what I did.” The soldier was a Christian and I talked with him about God’s forgiveness; but that didn’t seem to help. So, I talked in rational terms. He was doing his job. He saved perhaps hundreds of people by taking those six out of the battle. He ought to be proud of what he’d done. Nothing I said helped. He had been told these things many times already. Solomon wisely said, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.” Proverbs 24:11 NIV When we look at the teachings of Jesus we can deduce that He was a pacifist. What else can we conclude. “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. “ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” “Love your neighbor as you love yourself?” The most war-like thing Jesus ever did was to tip over a table. He never talked about killing the Romans who were murdering thousands of Jews. Never did he talk about joining the army and killing national enemies. His forerunner, John the Baptist, echoed the same pacifist philosophy of Jesus. “What should we do then?” the crowd asked. John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.” Even tax collectors came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?” “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them. Then some soldiers asked him, “And what should we do?” He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—be content with your pay.” Notice, neither John nor Jesus advised anyone to “un-join” the army. We might describe Jesus’ as saying, “Don’t fight back” except when He says, “Fight Back.” In the Garden of Gethsemane He instructs Peter to get ready for the days ahead by buying a sword. Then Jesus asked them, “When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?” “Nothing,” they answered. He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one (Luke 22:35-36). This is not the first time Jesus mentions using a sword. Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword” (Matthew 10:34). My conclusion is that there is a time to turn the other cheek and a time to fight back. On the personal level “turning the other cheek” demonstrates the true submission, love and selflessness of Christ followers. My college friend, Hank, got the living daylights knocked out of him by another student athlete. I saw him at breakfast. His face was purple and black and swollen like a blown-up balloon. He could hardly move his lips. “What happened to you?” “I got in a fight during practice.” “I’d like to see the other guy.” “Oh, I never hit him. I decided to turn the other cheek. His behavior for Christ was a watershed for many as they contemplated their own commitments as followers of Christ. Here was a man who was willing to live up to the teachings of Jesus even at substantial personal cost. It is a different matter when the innocent are threatened. David talked about what to do when someone is in trouble and others have the power to intervene, but refuse to do so. He says that God needs to slap these people on both cheeks so to speak. According to both the Old Testament and the New Testament, some circumstances warrant the just use of force. Exodus 22:2 states that if a man finds a thief in his house at night, killing the thief is an acceptable means of protecting one’s home and property. In a just war soldiers had better not turn their cheeks. They had best fight to win. After all, bears are in the woods. Someone had to stop Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Heinrich Himmler, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Syria, Iran, the Taliban, the Kilmer Rouge, ISIS, Putin–just to mention a few. Saint Augustine was the Christian Bishop of Hippo in North Africa in the late 4th and early 5th centuries a.d. Augustine was a pastor-philosopher who developed practical guidelines for determining whether a particular war is just—or not. They are as follows: 1. The Primary Purpose Of A Just War Is To Defend Those Under Attack. 2. In A Just War Vengeance Is Tempered By Justice. 3. There Must Be A Reasonable Prospect Of Victory—Of Achieving The Ends For Which The War Is Fought. 4. The Motives Must Be Pure. 5. The Post-War Attitude Is One Of Mercy. In my opinion the church has every right to help those who are hunting bears in the woods. We don’t want the church to join hands with bears. It breaks my heart that world governments have chosen to violate guidelines #3 and #4 relentlessly. We no longer fight wars to win. How sad. We too often fight only for those things in our best interests. By the way, I now know what I should have done to help the soldier. He didn’t need encouragement, explanations, reasons or justification. Those things come later. What he needed was comfort. Jesus said, “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.” Jim, thanks for the intriguing question. I hope my answer is helpful to you and to others. Ask me some more. Love, Roger

I think joy in eternity will be the same sort of thing we know as joy and happiness and delight right now. But it will be purified and absolute in the sense that, as Paul says, right now we are “sorrowful yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). We live in a world under the curse. And so even as we rejoice with those who rejoice, we weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). And that is right and it should be. We don’t just paste on a smiley face as we look at a world of tremendous need, of children suffering. And there’s sex trafficking going on and you have all of these different things. So right now our happiness in Christ is something that can and should be very real. But at the same time we recognize we can’t be absolutely happy all the time. In fact, it would be inappropriate if we were, given the condition of the world. But in eternity we will enter into our Master’s happiness (Matthew 25:21). I just love that the Master doesn’t say to His servant, “Muster up your own happiness and bring it here, and it is your duty to make yourself happy all the time.” Rather, He says, “Enter into my happiness.” And what makes Heaven such a desirable and wonderful place is that it’s permeated by the person of God. It is where God is. We shouldn’t want to be in a heaven without God. First of all, it wouldn’t really be Heaven because it’s God who brings His nature to it—all of His attributes, including His happiness. So I think in this life here and now, we do get foretastes of the complete and total bliss, the utter happiness, of Heaven. And we can be happy even in the midst of great difficulty, just as The Valley of Vision, the book of Puritan prayers, models. It is full of words such as “happiness” and its synonyms. Yet it’s just so deep with the burdens and realities of a sin-defiled world—but always with the sense of hope, of blood-bought hope, of hope with substance and expectation that one day God is going to wipe away the tears from every eye, as Revelation 21:4 says. There will be no more suffering, no more pain. There will be no more separation. We will experience all of the realities of who God is, and every day will be better than the one before. The old fairy tale ending—happily ever after—that’s not a fairy tale. That is God’s unfolding drama of redemption, the greatest story ever told, the ultimate redemptive story. And He promises us we will never pass our peaks. And we’ll live happily ever after in His presence, to His glory and for our good. And that magnificence should permeate our lives and our thinking today. We should not wait until we die to discover a taste of all that. We should be experiencing it daily even now.

How would you feel if distant relatives showed up unannounced on your doorstep with plans to stay for a week and were eager to take a tour of your house? Would you have to scramble to avoid embarrassment? A commitment to holiness means having a life that is always “ready for company” and “open for inspection”—a life that can stand up to scrutiny—not just in the obvious things, but in the “hidden places” where most might not think to look. Most Christians know how to do a quick pick-up in their lives whenever others come around to take a look. They know how to look and act when they’re at church or want to leave a good impression on a friend. But here’s the real test: what would others discover if they took a closer look at your life? What would they find if they started opening the closets and drawers of your life? This is one of the primary issues Jesus had with the Pharisees of His day. The problem wasn’t with their outward behavior—their lust for human praise made them star performers. But Jesus could see what the people they were trying so hard to impress couldn’t see—their hearts. And that’s where the trouble was. Like the Pharisees, we have an amazing capacity to feel good about ourselves because we don’t commit certain kinds of sins, while brushing off as insignificant the interior pollution of our hearts. We’ve never committed physical adultery, but we entertain lustful thoughts about someone else’s mate. We don’t commit acts of physical violence, but we harbor hatred toward those who have wronged us and mentally assassinate them or emotionally cut them off. Making It Personal The New Testament authors challenge believers to recognize their position in Christ: justified, redeemed, set apart for His purposes. They also exhort us to live a life consistent with our position. Take time to look up each of the following passages from Paul’s epistles that describes some aspect of what it means to live a holy life. Then prayerfully consider the application questions. Speak the Truth ( Colossians 3:9–10 ; Ephesians 4:25 ) Are you deceiving anyone about anything? Are you more concerned about what others think of you than about what God knows to be true? Put Away Anger ( Ephesians 4:31 ) Are you holding anger in your heart toward anyone? Are you easily irritated? Prone to impatience? Watch Your Tongue ( Ephesians 4:29 ; 5:4 ) Does profanity, unholy talk, or coarse jesting come from your lips? Do you gossip or slander others? Be Sensitive to the Spirit ( Ephesians 4:30 ) Are you sensitive to the things that grieve the Holy Spirit? Are you quick to respond to the conviction of God’s Spirit when you have sinned? Put on Forgiveness and Love ( Colossians 3:12–13 ) Are you holding a grudge or harboring bitterness in your heart toward anyone? Is there anyone who has hurt or wronged you that you have not fully forgiven? Is your life marked by love? Let His Peace Rule ( Colossians 3:15 ) Does the peace of Christ control your life, or do you often fret and worry about circumstances beyond your control? Do you trust t he sovereign wisdom and love of God to order your steps? Embrace Your God-Designed Role in the Home ( Colossians 3:18–21 ) Are your family relationships ordered according to the plan God has revealed in His Word? Wives: Are you submitting to the authority and leadership of your husband? Do you show reverence and respect in your attitude toward him and in the way you talk to him and about him to others? Exhibit Godly Character ( Ephesians 5:1 ) Is there anything in your life that does not bear a “family resemblance” to God? Is there any pattern or practice in your life that, if others followed it, would lead them away from God? Be Morally Pure ( Ephesians 5:3 ) Is your thought life pure? Are you chaste and discreet in your relationships with members of the opposite sex? Walk in the Light ( Ephesians 5:8–10 ) Do you consciously seek to know and do what pleases the Lord? Is there any area of your life that could not withstand the scrutiny of His holy light? www.reviveourhearts.org .  Used by permission.