Face it, there are just some things that we don’t like to do. We all have those irritating things that incessantly demand our attention. Every one of us has a collection of loathsome demands that keep throwing themselves in front of us. Our lives are chock full of repetitive tasks, missed agenda items, overdue obligations, lapsed deadlines, and overlooked commitments that constantly harass us. We all have those irritating things that are irritating because we know that they need to be done, and we know that we should have gotten them done a long time ago, and we know that we’d feel a whole lot better if we had gotten them done. But we don’t want to. And so all of these various things have become something of a noxious stench emanating from the pages of our calendars. And so we find ourselves attempting to pencil those things out and off of our calendars. We all have things that we just don’t like to do, so we kick the can down the road. Then there are the messes that we’ve made. There’s the colossal blunders, the erroneous missteps, and the self-centered choices that have turned on us. Then there’s the little messes that have grown into mammoth messes because we never took care of the little messes when we should have. There were gambles that we took that were prompted more by a narcissistic headiness than a thoughtful deliberation. There were risks that we embraced out of some childish cavalier notion rather than a measured wisdom. We have some bad things that we caused that we just don’t like to deal with, so we kick them down the road as well. Versions of Kicking the Can Yet, things don’t go away just because we want them to. Problems don’t get solved just because we’re annoyed with them. Life is not so enchanted that things simply just dissipate all by themselves, or mystically resolve themselves because life feels bad for us. ‘Avoidance’ is not some sort of practiced slight-of-hand where the things that we’re avoiding magically vanish under the silken cloak of avoidance. ‘Denial’ is not some ingenious, multi-purpose tool that fixes whatever problem is that we’re in denial of, somehow busily working away behind the scenes while we’re sitting in denial of the problem. And whatever ‘ignoring’ is, it’s not powerful enough to somehow relegate the thing that we’re ignoring to the very oblivion that we hope our ignoring will relegate it to. We all have things that we just don’t like to do, so we kick the can down the road. Kicking the Can Implies Acceptance of the Can In kicking the can, it’s not that we’re in denial of the issue, or the commitment, or the obligation, or the deadline that we’re working so hard to avoid, or the self-made mess that we want to forget about. We’ve come to accept whatever it is that we’re kicking down the road, and we’ve embraced the fact that it’s a part of our lives and it’s likely here to stay as much as we hate that. We’ve long given up hope that it’s going to go away, or supernaturally fix itself, or be fixed by someone else. Kicking the can down the road implies that we’re accepted the galling reality that whatever it is that we’ve avoiding, it’s something that’s not going to go away; at least on its own. So given that it’s not going to go away, we decide to push it away by kicking it down the road. Kicking the Can Is an Action Based on a Decision Kicking the can down the road is an action. It represents the decision that we’ve made about whatever it is that we’re avoiding. It’s the choice we’ve made to deal with this thing by not dealing with it. It’s a conscious decision to placate responsibility, postpone the inevitable, deny our poor choices, pay a legitimate obligation forward yet again, and momentarily pretend that all is good so as to avoid any discomfort around that fact that all is not good. There’s nothing inherently good or redeeming about kicking the can down the road. In doing so, we’re doing nothing more than exhibiting cowardice and nothing less than throwing off responsibility. Kicking the Can to Pawn It Off Sometimes kicking the can down the road is done out of some pathetic hope that somebody else is going to pick it up and take care of it for us. Maybe someone else will step in or step up and solve this. Maybe if we kick it down the road long enough and hard enough somebody else is going to get tired of watching us do it, or feel bad enough for us that they’ll take care of it. Maybe we’re actually kicking the can in the direction of somebody as a means of baiting them a bit and hoping they’ll get rid of this for us. Whatever the case, maybe someone will have mercy on us, walk up to the can, pick it up, and dispense of it for us. Kicking The Can is Often Blaming the Can on Someone Else Sometimes kicking the can is designed to kick it so far away from us that we no longer look like we’re connected to the can. If we can ignore the issue long enough and distance ourselves from it far enough, we can often make it look like we really have nothing to do with it at all. But more than that, it’s often a way to distance the issue or the mistake or the blunder so far from us that it actually looks as if it belongs to someone else. Maybe we can ignore the issue long enough and kick it so far away from us that it appears as if it’s closer to somebody else than it is to us. If we can pull that off, we can actually make the issue look like it belongs to the person that we’ve kicked it over to. And too often once we’ve done that, we not only make the claim that it’s theirs, but we go so far as to say that it was never ours in the first place. Suddenly, kicking the can down the road becomes an act of kicking it over onto someone else’s road. Kicking the Can Will Kick Our Can There are implications for kicking the can down the road. Sometimes those implications are serious beyond whatever the issue was in the first place. Sometimes they’re outright devastating. The reality of life is such that avoiding most things means that those things will become worse in the avoiding, not better. If we’re avoiding something in the first place it’s probably because it’s pretty bad to begin with, otherwise we wouldn’t be working so hard to avoid it. And the worse something is, the worse it’s going to get if we avoid it. We add to the problem each time with avoid the problem. So kicking the proverbial can down the road only increases in the size of the can. And when that happens there will come a time when it’s too big to kick any longer. What’s Your Can? We all have our cans. Some are small and some are anything but small. But we all have them and it would be in our best interest to be honest about them. It’s time to identify our cans, as grueling and distasteful as that might be. Once we’ve done that, it’s time to quite the kicking and start the resolving. The road to resolution might be a rough one that demands much of us, but it will not demand as much of us as it will if we keep on kicking the can. It’s about being accountable. It’s about being a person of integrity and intention. It’s about stepping up to whatever our cans might be, purposefully reaching down, picking up the lot of them and ridding our lives of each one. A life with no cans to kick is a life of un-littered roads that grant us unobstructed passage. And it would seem that a litter free road would be a rather nice one to travel. It might be wise to consider adopting a can free life and giving up a kicking career.

Abuse can occur in one-on-one relationships, in families, in institutions, and in society at large. Wherever abuse is found, it should be uncovered, repented of and rejected. It is not in keeping with scriptural relationship principles. ( Ephesians 5 and 6 ). Family, society or church systems abuse by demeaning and degrading acts of control, threat, violence and/or power, including abuse by clergy. How do you know if you are a part of an abusive church system? Power-posturing. This occurs when leaders spend time focusing on their own authority and reminding others of it as well. They use guilt fear and intimidation as effective means for controlling their members. Those in true leadership express their authority by their lives and message. Performance preoccupation. Abusive spiritual systems are preoccupied with the performance of their members. Obedience and submission are two important words often used. Service is often done with the goal of receiving rewards. Obedience and submission should flow out of a heart that is loving God. It is one appropriate to submit to authority when their authority comes from God and their stance is grounded in Scripture. Unspoken rules. In abusive spiritual systems, people’s lives are controlled from “the outside in” by rules, spoken and unspoken. Because they are not explicitly stated, people often do not learn of their existence until they break them. For example, no one is allowed to disagree with the pastor or openly question doctrine. The “can’t talk” rule of the statement “touch not my anointed” is another example. These rules are not known until one questions a decision of a spiritual leader. This becomes a problem because he/she questioned pastors and counselors should invite and value criticism, diversity and flexibility in their congregations. Then they are able to grow and be accountable to those they serve. Lack of balance. One kind of imbalance is extreme objectivism, in which authority is based solely on one’s level of education and intellectual capacity. The opposite imbalance is extreme subjectivism, in which truth is evaluated on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to those than to what Scripture declares. Persons should strive for balance between their thinking and their feelings. Paranoia. In the spiritually abusive church or family, there is a notion that “outsiders” will misunderstand what the group is all about and respond negatively unless they become one of the group themselves. “Insiders” share an assumption that what they say, know, or do is a result of being more enlightened than “outsiders.” Often leaders within this system when confronted with immorality by an external source will cover up their sin by focusing on this external system as an instrument of Satan. An “us against them” mentality is common in this system. Understand all Christians make up the Body of Christ helps alleviate this paranoia. Misplaced loyalty. Spiritually abusive systems foster and even demand a misplaced sense of loyalty. This is not loyalty to Christ, but rather loyalty to an organization, church, or leader. This loyalty is assured by teaching that, “we alone are right.” And by using scare tactics such as, “you will be lost if you leave.” Christ is the only head of the church and teachs which rob His glory should not be accepted. Secretiveness. Secrets lead to confusion and deception. We are to walk in the light. Here are some traits of DYSFUNCTIONAL organizations: Performance orientation Conformity demands Dependence/codependence Inconsistency and rigid rules Many taboo subjects Protection of secrets Certain feelings considered unacceptable Punishment, shame and guilt Unclear boundaries A FUNCTIONAL organization will be: Person-oriented Diversity-welcoming Interdependent Accepting and trusting environment Flexible rules All subjects open to discussion Open and honest disclosure All feelings are accepted Discipline-growth and responsibility producing Clear boundaries. Kie-Vining, When Home Is Where the Hurt Is: A Ministry Intervention guide for Trauma Victims. Cleveland, Tennessee: Marriage Commission, pp. 143-146. Used by permission.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28 Can we achieve racial reconciliation? Can our multicolored, multi-tongued society find common ground for communication? For peace? For cooperation in meeting head-on the great needs of our nation and our world? The answer is a resounding yes! I believe God is calling His church to enter the greatest hour it has ever seen. How can we experience Christ Awakening as we continue to seek breakdowns of racial, social, and status barriers as Christ’s church celebrates together—Jesus! Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may become sons of light.” (John 12:35–36) WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT THE ATTITUDES OF OUR HEARTS? HUMILITY, BROKENNESS, CONTRITION – proper heart-conditions are the qualifiers. The prophet Joel cried out, “Wherefore should they say among the people, ‘Where is their God?’” (Joel 2:17, KJV). That is exactly what the world is saying in this hour. How can you say that God is among you when your lives are no different from those of sinners? Our whole nation needs a move of God! Our challenge right now is Acts 3:19: “Repent. . . and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come.” And then it says, “And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you” (v. 20). I know historically we Christians have always felt that Jesus was going to return, but usually He returned in a revival or in an awakening or in a move beyond human expectations. Today’s great darkness has us postured for that, but certain conditions must precede another great move of God. In 2 Corinthians 5:18, Paul says, “All things are of God who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation.” The next verse reads, “God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.” HOW CAN WE EXPERIENCE REVIVAL? These two phrases—the ministry of reconciliation (something to do) and the word of reconciliation (something to say)—are the foundations for revival. I believe the ministry of Jesus is the ministry of reconciliation. Reconciliation is the key to Jesus’ prayer in John 17 “that we might be one” (see v. 21). It is the key to his statement, “By this they shall know that you are my disciples, when you show love for one another.” (see John 13:35). It’s only when the world sees unity among those who declare themselves Christian that they can have hope for their own divisions, disintegrations, and darkness. That’s why reconciliation is a major theme with me. Not only racial reconciliation—it’s just that that happens to be the most visible way we can demonstrate the reality of Christ in our lives. After Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, He said, “just as I have washed your feet, you must wash one another’s feet” (see John 13:14). And He said, “You are to love your enemies” (Matt. 5:44). Love is more than rhetoric. Love is an “opposite” spirit. Those who would kill you, you owe your life. Our challenge isn’t in being accepted by whites. We’re already accepted by God. We need to break out of this ethnic mind-set. It’s all right to be ethnically conscious, but not to be ethnically controlled. My worldview must come from the kingdom, not from my culture. It’s a matter of looking at things from God’s point of view. We are limited only by our point of views. If we believe that we cannot rise beyond how we are viewed by the majority race, then we’ll continue to use them as an excuse for our failure. Now, what color is the Holy Spirit? The truth of the matter is, we need the Spirit and character of Christ to reach people no matter who they are. God doesn’t use information to reach people: He uses revelation. People need to see God coming through a man. You show them God and they’ll forget about color. If I had a choice of being where my race is as opposed to being where Jesus is— I‘d choose Jesus every time. PRAYERS TO OFFER Thanksgiving Thank You, Lord, that You have removed racial barriers, for we “have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness” (Rom. 6:18). Jesus, we celebrate that You remove social barriers among Your people, “to bring them together and make them one” (John 11:52). Dear God, we are grateful that You have removed status barriers, and “in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others” (Rom. 12:5). Confession We often do not see God’s vision for the church. Forgive us, Lord, for allowing barriers to remain within the body of Christ. We often do not have the right attitude of the heart. Cleanse us, Dear God, for not being humble, broken, and contrite. We often are not salt and light in our community. Jesus, we repent of our ineffectiveness. We often do not lay the foundations of revival. Forgive us for not seeking reconciliation. Petition Jesus, may our hearts be made right, knowing that “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). Dear God, help us avoid barriers; “keep your servant also from willful sins” (Ps. 19:13). Lord, grant us vision for Christ’s Church celebrating together, for “where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint” (Prov. 29:18a). PROMISES TO CLAIM God’s Vision for the Church Dear God, might we hear the hopes that You have for Christ’s Church celebrating together, for “wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares” (Prov. 1:20). Attitudes of the Heart Lord, may we experience wholeness in our relationships and overcome racial, social, and status barriers because you have “destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility” (Eph. 2:14). Salt and Light As Your “salt and light,” may we eliminate the darkness of discrimination and injustice, thus yielding to the admonition of Jesus: “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matt 5:16). Foundations for Revival Jesus, might we have courage to “step out” by faith toward reconciliation: “Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may become sons of light” (John 12:35–36). wellingtonboone.com . Taken from “Praying for a Christ Awakening.” Used by permission.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, seeks whom he may devour!” 1 Peter 5:8 “So let’s not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let’s keep our eyes open and be smart. Walk out into the daylight sober, dressed up in faith, love, and the hope of salvation.” 1 Thessalonians 5:6 We can certainly ‘exist’ without paying attention, despite the rather dangerous and somewhat spurious nature of such an existence. But that does not and cannot wave off the larger question that we too often avoid; can I actually ‘live’ without paying attention? Paying Attention to Live Fully It’s my sense that most of us want to move through life and actually ‘live’ life as we move through it. There appears to be a seemingly endless litany of people who look at life once it’s blown-by and ask what they’ve really gotten out of it as it blew by. Too many people look over their shoulders and see a whole lot of life behind them, without a whole lot of anything in their hands to show for everything that’s behind them. They then turn and they peer with longing eyes into the future. And in the peering, they don’t see enough life left ahead of them to ever make up for what got by them. As massive and robust as life is, it got by us and we didn’t even see it in the passing. It seems that far too often we don’t really pay attention. We think we pay attention. We most certainly believe that we pay attention. We would look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we’re quite observant and fairly sharp. We feel that we’re astute and keen in discerning life as it’s coming at us. We watch a myriad of things unfold and applaud ourselves for figuring out that they were unfolding long before they showed up to unfold. We’ve come this far and we quite naturally assume that we must have paid some degree of attention in order to get this far. Most of us feel that we’re paying attention. But are we paying attention, or are we doing other things that mimic paying attention? Habit Verses Paying Attention But how often are we simply caught in worn-out patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with paying attention and everything to do with habit? How often are we simply habitually reactionary, doing in this particular instance in what we’ve done in every other instance that came before it? We think that we’re paying attention when what we’re doing is paying homage to mindless repetition, slothfully assuming that since this response worked before it will work again. Habit makes the heart comatose because the heart doesn’t have to pay attention anymore. Habit is a whole lot easier than paying attention. For those of us who prefer ease over advancement, habit will address the problem with a whole lot less energy and significantly less time than paying attention would demand of us. Habit is the soul on autopilot, where we have the richness of life fly right by us without a single inking that something is now fading in the rearview mirror that we never even saw out of the front window. Fundamentally, habit demands nothing of us other than we remember what the habit is so that we can repeat it. Ignoring Versus Paying Attention How often do we feign that we’re paying attention, when we’re actually actively ignoring what’s going on? There are those times in life when whatever’s happening isn’t all that savory. Sometimes things aren’t all that fun, and whatever’s coming at us is something that we’d prefer were moving away from us. There are times when we just don’t care to care, and so we turn a blind eye and walk away. And at these times we pretend that we’re paying attention so that we’re not looking irresponsible or lax. Often we’re not paying attention on purpose. We can look invested, and appear concerned, and present as attentive when we’re frankly ignoring the whole distasteful situation. And in ignoring it, what we’re doing is hoping that it will rapidly pass into the foggy recesses of our lives and our memories without disturbing our lives. Assuming Versus Paying Attention Sometimes we think we’re paying attention when what we’re doing is assuming. We draw conclusions, or craft opinions, or develop points of view about something. And in doing so, we assume that we could not have drawn these conclusions, or crafted these opinions, or developed these points of view without the information to do so. And so we assume that the only reason that we have the information is because we’ve been paying attention. Yet, far too often we’re not really paying attention at all. Rather, we’re drawing from past experiences, or preconceived biases, or the opinion of some social group that we’ve aligned ourselves with. We’ve heard rumors, or read something somewhere, or just have this gut-level feeling about something. And while all of this can have some degree of value, it cannot replace the need to pay attention so that the decisions we make are based on relevant, timely and factual information rather than the muddied slurry of other things. Following Versus Paying Attention Finally, often what we’re really paying attention to is where everyone else is going. We’re paying strict attention to the trends and we heed all things vogue. We’re focusing on the colorful declarations of some group, or the rants on Social Media, or the opinions of some celebrity, or the united convictions of some philosophy that we’ve embraced. We want to know where everyone else is going with whatever this is so that we can escape any real thinking by letting the group decide for us while staying in lock-step with the group so we don’t appear too odd. In these situations we’re certainly paying attention. But we’re paying attention to others who probably aren’t paying much attention because too often they’re focused on agendas verses ferreting out truth. We’ve aligned ourselves with an array of sources that have molded some pretty convincing looking truth out of some pretty pathetic agendas. And I don’t think we want to pay attention to that. Start Paying Attention To live is to observe. To experience the fullness of life is to put oneself into the fullness of life. To embrace the wholeness of this journey is to lift your head, squint your eyes, wipe your heart of bias, pull away the lens of agendas and look. And in the looking we might be profoundly challenged, but if we adhere to truth we will never be disappointed. And when you pay attention, you’ll never have to worry about looking over your shoulder and seeing a whole lot of life behind you, without a whole lot of anything in your hands to show for everything that’s behind you. And that will be the case because you took the time to pay attention.

One of my favorite Bible characters is Rebecca. So today we are in Genesis 24, witnessing Abraham’s servant being sent to find a wife for his young master. The story of Isaac and Rebecca’s love is one of the most beautiful love stories in Torah. The truly wonderful thing about this story is the amazing fact that, before it became a story of love, it was a story of faith. It took the faith of several people for this story to become a story of true love. First of all, of course, we are amazed (again!) by the faith of Abraham, who had no doubt that God Himself would take care of choosing a wife for Isaac: 7 The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendants I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. This story certainly demanded great faith from Abraham’s senior servant (probably Eliezer, though his name is not mentioned in this chapter). Although by this time, he must have already witnessed many miracles that the Lord had performed in his master’s life, it would still have taken a good deal of faith to even undertake this journey, and to trust that the Lord would send him to the right girl. When he arrives and stands by the well outside the city, he prays for success (“good speed” or “good fortune”, depending on translation) — if translated literally, he is asking God to “make this day happen before me.” It’s important to note that this is the very first prayer for divine guidance that we find in the Bible. 12 O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham. Then he prays for a kind and humble girl. Pay close attention: he is not praying for her looks or wealth: it is her kind and serving attitude and behavior that he is putting as a sign before God. We all know that his terms were met immediately and precisely, and we also know that he was absolutely overwhelmed by this immediate answer. 21 And the man, wondering at her, remained silent so as to know whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not. The word translated here as “remained silent,” might also mean: “to be speechless.” I think that was exactly what was happening to Eliezer: not only was he silent, he was absolutely speechless as he saw God’s handwriting in this story! It is even more amazing to see this invisible reality of God’s presence and guidance, becoming visible and obvious to everyone – even to those who don’t know God. Rebecca’s father and brother, after they hear the servant’s testimony, say some surprising words (one imagines even the servant was absolutely shocked to hear these words from non-believing people): 50 Th en Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing comes from the Lord; we cannot speak to you either bad or good.” Mi-Adonai Yatza Ha-Davar – “this thing came from the Lord!” How obvious the Lord’s presence must have been for people who didn’t know Him to speak these words! However, the most incredible character here is undoubtedly Rebecca herself; the most amazing part of this story is the faith of this young woman, and quite honestly, I can think of no faith stronger than that which Rebecca portrays here. When the servant appears from nowhere, and presents before her the choice of her life—whether she will go with him to be a wife for Abraham’s son—she says: “Yes,” and this is another “Yes” to God, as we see many times throughout this book— another story of entering God’s plan and God’s blessings by surrendering one’s life to Him. 58 Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will go.” The character and faith of Abraham is constantly admired, and rightly so—at the age of 75 he willingly left his home to go the Land that God promised to show him. However, we rarely hear similar praise for Rebecca, who made the same choice, and even more decisively and drastically. We don’t know for sure the length of time between Abraham first hearing God’s command, and him actually leaving his home: it could have been days, weeks, months, or maybe even years. We only know that he did go, and we praise him for that. But we do know for sure that Rebecca made this crucial choice and left her home, in one day. Imagine: they didn’t have phones or internet; they didn’t have cars or planes; and for her to leave her home like this meant to leave it for good and probably never see her family again. The fact that she was able to make such a definitive decision to leave behind everything and everyone she knew and loved, bears witness to an absolutely outstanding character! Not only did she make the decision that changed her life forever within one day (and, by the way, it changed the life of the whole of humanity as well), but the very next morning, instead of begging for a merciful delay, she was ready to go. Let us try to understand what Rebecca went through: She didn’t grow up in a family of true believers, as Isaac did; she didn’t know God, as Isaac did; but when Eliezer appeared before her that day, out of nowhere, somehow she knew that it was not just this servant, but Somebody in him and beyond him— Somebody much more than him—who stepped into her life and claimed this life. I suppose, like all young girls, she was interested in her future husband, but she knew almost nothing about him and had never seen him, so he was still not very real to her. However, that ‘Somebody’ who touched her heart through Eliezer, was so real that she decided at once that she wanted Him in her life. She surrendered her life to Him in that one amazing life-changing decision of faith, a decision made so simply and so quickly, trusting Him with her husband and with her whole life—and I believe she never looked back from that time forward. What attracts you to a potential mate? Good looks? Integrity? Security? Money? Do you ask God to lead you to the right person? He will, you know. He has created that person for you before you were born (Psalm 139). The question is, are you pure in heart and ready to receive that blessed gift from Him?

In life, in our history, in our experience and in everything we do, oftentimes a single act of courage is the tipping point for something extraordinary. A single expression or act of courage can begin a transition point for something absolutely extraordinary. It begins a transition that takes people by surprise. The individuals involved often have no idea what they are a part of. Dec 1, 1955 – a 42 year-old African American woman decided not to give up her seat on a bus to a white man. Rosa Parks became an international symbol for racial equality. You can go back through every part of history and see individuals or small groups of people making single acts of courage that. This should be of particular interest to those of us who are Christians. Throughout the Bible we see the very same thing: men and women who display courage that brings them onto the scene of history. • Abraham decided to leave his home and follow God – a nation was born. • Moses returned to Egypt to face Pharaoh – a tipping point for the nation of Israel. • Joshua crossing the River. • Joseph forgiving his brothers. • David facing Goliath. • Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego • Joseph deciding to marry his fiance Mary. The problem with all of these stories is that they are so big and dramatic. If we found ourselves in those circumstances and someone told us how they would end it would be easy to take courage. In our everyday life things don’t seem so big or dramatic. In spite of the fact that our stories won’t be so dramatic, there are still opportunities and circumstances that will be extraordinary in our lives. Challenges and moments of fear in our lives will represent tipping points for our lives. It won’t be as dramatic or public or the things legends are made of, but in our lives and in our context, there will be multiple circumstances that will demand the kind of courage we tend to shrink back from. It will be a tipping point for something extraordinary in our life and in our ministry. 3 Faces of Courage 1 – Courage to stay when it would be easier to go. • “When I look around at the circumstances everything in me says, “go.” But when I get on my knees and ask God, He tells me to stay.” – Charles Stanley • Some of us are in tough environments right now and that makes dealing with life difficult. There’s nothing going on. • Sometimes it would be easier to go. We’ve maybe even had options to run from our problems. • Whenever everything around us says, “go” but we know in our hearts that God wants us to stay in the midst of our trials, our decision to stay may be the single act of courage that is the tipping point for something extraordinary in our lives. You will never know unless you stay. For all of us in life or in our ministry, something in us will want to leave when God wants us to stay. 2 – Courage to leave, when it would be easier to stay. • I faced the challenge of choosing to go or stay with my father’s ministry. Sometimes we have to walk away from something. Sometimes we have to walk away, not to something, but we just have to walk away. To walk away can oftentimes feel irresponsible. I read the book A Tale of Three Kings and had a moment of clarity. “Beginning empty-handed and alone, frightens the best of men. It also speaks volumes of just how sure they are God is with them.” • I chose to go. From that decision, North Point Community Church was born. • 4 years into our ministry at North Point, my wife said to him, “What if we hadn’t left?” • You have no idea what God will do hanging in the balance of the decisions you make. • Sometimes God will tell you to go and it will be easier to stay when we keep the status quo. • That decision, that expression of courage is our Goliath… that’s it. • It’s not dramatic and no one will ever know besides us and God, but that single decision could be the tipping point for something extraordinary in our lives and in our ministry. • Some of you need to quit what you are doing and go back to school. • Some of you need to leave the marketplace and go into ministry or follow your calling. 3 – Courage to ask for help, when it would be easier to pretend like everything’s okay. • Secrets are dangerous. • Secrets grow into ugly things in our dark places of our hearts. • Secrets are what take Christians out, not theology. • You can lose places of influence because of your secrets. • You won’t ask for help because you are afraid. • One of the most courageous steps you could take is the step to get help. • Secrets influence the way you live and lead others. • When you carry a secret you compensate for it in your leadership. • It’s more important for you to get help. Ask for it! • In leadership, you’re at the front and it’s harder at the front. • You face more pressure, more responsibility, criticism, etc. You can bury yourself in work and activities. • That makes it even more difficult to compensate for it in your leadership. • Whatever you fear secretly, you will often over-compensate. • You are afraid of what people will think about you and what you will find out about yourself. • The simple act of asking for help may be the most courageous thing you ever do as a Christian. • By refusing to ask for help, you may be robbed of the extraordinary thing God wants to do in you and through you. • If someone you love and trust says, “Maybe you should get some help with that…” you should! • One of the expressions of courage we must face is to be willing to have the courage to ask for help. What you should be afraid of… • Our greatest fear for our lives should be waking up and realizing we are outside of God’s will for our lives. • There’s nothing worse than not having the confidence that you are where you need to be, doing what God is calling you to do. • If you lead without confidence it will show. • If we have the fear of the Lord we won’t do anything that moves us out of the center of His will for our lives, our family, our ministry, etc. • Fear the Lord more than what people say about us, than poverty, than missing the break-out moment. • Ask: “When this is all over, when this all said and done, what story do I want to tell?” • As you think about the tension you are living in, what story do you want to tell? • Tell the story of making the courageous decision. • If God says go, go. • If God says stay, stay. • If God says disclose, stay hones! Those expressions of courage may be the tipping point of the extraordinary thing God wants to do in and through your life. Andy Stanley, Catalyst. Notes by timschraeder.com. Used by permission of Catalyst leadership.

In the Book of Revelation, we read a text that describes that with the arrival of the evil Beast – the enemy of God’s people, Christ-followers will be excluded from participation in local economy unless they agree to place upon their head and hand the mark of the Beast. (Rev. 13:16-18) To understand the true meaning of the mark of the beast something needs to be kept in mind. The central Jewish text that was recited twice daily stated: “‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one.” But it had another, less famous, but integral part: “Bind them (God’s commandments) as a sign on your hand and they will be on your forehead.” (Deut. 6:4-8) See also The Mark of the Beast and R.F.I.D. Chips. See also 666 and Counting. If the Book of Revelation is read with awareness of the first-century Jewish context, it becomes clear that we ought not to imagine that one day the entire world will undergo a medical procedure that will insert a chip under the human skin. Instead we should understand the mark of the beast as some outward expression of opposing the commandment to worship the God of Israel alone. For Christ-followers and their children in the first century an issue of great concern was precisely the limits of this commandment in Deuteronomy. The basic question was: Is possible to honor some Roman deities publicly (along with in-your-heart worship of Israel’s God in Christ)? If yes, then this would insure the economic survival and prosperity under the watchful eye of the Roman authorities. The Book of Revelation has chosen an unapologetically Israelite, Anti-Roman position where only worship of One God of Israel was upheld. From www.e-teacherbiblical.com.

Without an eternal perspective, without understanding the reality that the best is yet to come, we assume that people who die young, who are handicapped, who aren’t healthy, who don’t get married, or who don’t _____ [fill in the blank] will inevitably miss out on the best life has to offer. But the theology underlying those assumptions is fatally flawed. We’re presuming that our present Earth, bodies, culture, relationships, and lives are superior to those of the New Earth. What are we thinking? I believe the New Earth will offer us opportunities we wished for but never had. God’s original plan was that human beings would live happy and fulfilling lives on Earth. If our current lives are our only chances at that, God’s plan has been thwarted. Consider the injustice—many honest, faithful people never got to live fulfilling lives, while some dishonest and unfaithful people seemed to fare much better. But God is not unjust, and this is not our only chance at life on Earth. The doctrine of the New Earth clearly demonstrates that. In Luke 6:20-23, Jesus says, “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.” Jesus tells the hungry they’ll be satisfied. Those whose eyes are swollen with tears will laugh. Those persecuted should leap for joy now. Why? Because of their great reward in Heaven later. Where will Heaven be? In the parallel passage Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:3-5). Earth is the setting for God’s ultimate comfort, for his reversal of life’s injustices and tragedies. We will live on what we inherit—the earth. All the blessings Jesus promised will be ours in the place we will live—the New Earth. God promises to make up for the heartbreaks of this earth. Are you living with the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams? In Heaven you’ll find their fulfillment! Did poverty, poor health, war, or lack of time prevent you from pursuing an adventure or dream? Did you never get to finish building that boat or painting that picture or writing that book—or reading that pile of books? Good news. On the New Earth you will have a second chance to do what you dreamed of doing—and far more besides. Living under the Curse means we miss countless opportunities. The reversing of the Curse, and the resurrection of our bodies and our Earth, mean we’ll regain lost opportunities and inherit many more besides. In this world, even under the Curse, human imagination and skill have produced some remarkable works. The statues of Easter Island. Stonehenge. Shakespeare’s plays. Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. The Golden Gate Bridge. Baseball. Heart transplants. Prenatal surgery. Microwave ovens. DVDs. The space shuttle. Chocolate ice cream. Pecan pie. Sports cars. It’s a list that never ends. With the resources God will lavishly give us on the New Earth, what will we be able to accomplish together? When we think about this, we should be like children anticipating Christmas—sneaking out of bed to see what’s under the Christmas tree. Without creativity, music would be a dull succession of sounds. Without creativity, books would be colorless and superficial. They wouldn’t engage our minds and hearts. Paintings would be lifeless or nonexistent. Our homes would be barracks, our buildings boxes. God’s preparing a place for us, and he’ll equip us to develop it to his glory. I agree with Anthony Hoekema when he says, “The possibilities that now rise before us boggle the mind. Will there be ‘better Beethovens’ on the new earth? better Rembrandts, better Raphaels? Shall we read better poetry, better drama, and better prose? Will scientists continue to advance in technological achievement, will geologists continue to dig out the treasures of the earth, and will architects continue to build imposing and attractive structures? Will there be exciting new adventures in space travel? . . . Our culture will glorify God in ways that surpass our most fantastic dreams.” On the New Earth, God’s gifts to us will never be lost to age, death, pettiness, insecurity, or laziness. Undistracted and undiminished by sin and the demands of survival, mankind will create and innovate at unprecedented levels, to God’s eternal glory. epm.org . Used by permission.

We need balance in our ministries. We need to be focused on our mission while at the same time constantly searching for ways to improve our methods. True Christianity is balanced ministry, a combination of trust in God and commitment to action.– George Barna YOU ARE IN 1 OF 3 SITUATIONS Balance (ideal situation) Balance is when you ministry is focused on improving its methods while still being laser-focused on its mission. Balance is when you allow the mission to guide the development of the methods. Mission-biased Imbalance. Mission without methods is mismanagement. It is inefficient and underperforms. If you are focused on your mission, but you are not making an effort to improve your methods, you are falling short of your full potential. It is poor stewardship. Methods-biased Imbalance. Methods without mission is misguided. Methods get things done, but they don’t always get the right things done. You need mission to guide you. UNDERSTANDING MISSION Mission is your calling. It is your purpose. All Christians are accountable to certain universal missions of Christianity. For example, the Great Commission tells us to preach the gospel to the world and make disciples. And in Matthew 22:37, Jesus says, “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence,” and in verse 39 he adds, “Love others as well as you love yourself.” At the same time, we each have our own unique mission. As 1 Corinthians 12:12-30 explains, we each have our own unique mission, our own unique role to play in the Body of Christ. LACKING MISSION If you are lacking just a part of your overall mission, you will be imbalanced. In the 1 Corinthians 13, Paul reveals what happens when you are missing just a part of your mission. Without following Christianity’s universal mission of love, Paul describes his efforts as “meaningless noise” and “no good to anybody.” Focusing on only part of your mission is like following only part of the directions on the map. In the end, it does not really matter if you have missed your mark, if you never reach your intended destination. Even worse than not following every part of your mission is not following any of your mission. One of the most unfortunate pitfalls of the church is when your ministry has become about the methods not the mission. If you truly put God first, your love for Him should motivate you to work towards better methods. But if you put methods first, you are not truly serving God. Methods have become your master. You may say you are serving God, but if you are putting methods first, you are serving methods. Actions speak louder than words. And ministry can become an idol. No matter how skilled you are, and no matter how smart you are, keep in mind… 1 Corinthians 1:25 says, “For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” The success of God’s plan does not depend on you. Jesus said in Matthew 16:18, “I will build my church.” And Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” Fortunately, we are blessed enough that God has given us each the opportunity to choose to be a part of His plan. God does not need you, but He desperately wants you. UNDERSTANDING METHODS Do your methods really matter? After all, isn’t it God that makes it all work? The answer is “yes” and “yes.” Paul recognizes this in 1 Corinthians 3:6 when he says, “I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.” God gets all the credit. God does his BIG part, but first He expects each one of us to do our little part. 4 Responsibilities with Methods Do your part 1 Peter 4:10 says, “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” Maximize results. 2 Corinthians 9:6 says, “Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.” And Matthew 25:14-30 is another good reminder. Enhance your methods. Ecclesiastes 10:10 says, “Using a dull ax requires great strength, so sharpen the blade. That’s the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed.” So constantly be seeking wisdom. Gain godly wisdom through prayer and Bible study. And get practical wisdom by becoming a learner. Be intentional. As Paul shares in 1 Corinthians 9:20-23 he tried “to find common ground with everyone so that I might bring them to Christ” And Colossians 4:5 says, “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.” IT IS LIKE DRIVING Your mission is like a roadmap. And your methods are how you reach your destination. Understanding your mission requires understanding your unique calling. You must be able to understand who you are, which is like the starting point on a map. And you must be able to understand who you are called to reach. You cannot know the best route on a map until you know the starting point and the destination. Once you know who you are and understand who you are called to reach, then you can determine what is the best route to reach the destination. Then you can understand what are the best methods to reach the destination. Effective driving requires velocity (direction + speed). Mission determines direction. And methods determine speed. Mission without methods is like focusing on driving to the destination, but it may take awhile to reach the destination (if ever). Methods without mission is like focusing on driving fast and efficiently but without directions or guidance. There is no guarantee that you are heading in the right direction. When your ministry is balance, it is like driving the most efficient route to the destination. 2 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR FOCUS ON MISSION Clearly write out your mission and keep it simple. In Habakkuk 2:2, God told Habakkuk to write the vision down and keep it so simple that someone could read it while running by. Review your mission at least once a month. When Nehemiah was leading the 52-day long reconstruction of Jerusalem’s wall, he had to recast the vision to the workers midway through. HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR FOCUS ON METHODS If you want to improve your methods, study excellence and practice it. Learn from others and not just from personal experience. It is okay to make mistakes, but it is not okay to make the same mistake twice. Pray to God for wisdom and insight. ACHIEVING BALANCE IN CHURCH COMMUNICATIONS The most important thing in church communications is to let you mission guide your methods. To do this effectively requires knowing who you are (your strengths and weaknesses, what makes you unique, etc.). And it also requires that you continually study the constantly evolving cultures of the people you are called to reach. If you focus on what others are doing, you run the risk of becoming imbalanced by pursuing methods that work for someone else’s mission. If you focus too much on excellence, the pursuit of excellence may actually distract you from your mission. Balance is about efficiency. What is the best way to accomplish the biggest results with the fewest resources? The answer is likely to be different for each church. For one church, investing in fancy printing with spot varnishes, embossed foil, and die cuts may be an effective strategy. But another church may find that they can change more lives by using the specialty printing funds in another way. And some churches may find that templates and relevant premade designs are better stewardship than using their limited resources to create custom-tailored, unique designs. It is a judgment call that each church must make on its own. And it is the church communication staff’s responsibility to be well-educated enough in design, marketing, and their church’s mission to be able to make the right decision. As Proverbs 18:13 says, “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” ACHIEVING BALANCE IN THE 21st CENTURY Achieving balance is more difficult than any other time before. The age we live in is one where choosing to improve one’s methods is not optional. You must be current and you must be constantly improving to maximize your ministry’s success. We are fortunate to have so much knowledge and so many resources for learning how to improve our methods. But with privilege comes responsibility – an incredible responsibility. The Medici Effect states that ”breakthrough insights are at the intersection of ideas, concepts, and cultures.” Technology is creating cultural intersections. Communication influences culture more than any other area of technology. It controls how fast culture is spread. It controls how much culture is spread It is a self-feeding cycle that is continually gaining momentum. Culture leads to breakthrough insights which lead to technological advances that enable us to spread culture at an even faster rate. All along the way, information is being created as well as new cultures and subcultures. At the same time, we must be able to learn without falling into the trap of relying on oneself rather than relying on God. As we expand our knowledge and improve our methods, we must constantly be going back to the basics and focusing on God and the unique vision He has given each one of us. www.churchrelevance.com . Used by permission of Kent Shaffer.

The Bible does not describe us merely as wayward, broken, or needing a moral boost but as those who are dead in sin (Eph. 2:1). Dead men and women do not just need recovery: they need resurrection. For the follower of Christ, the ultimate goal is not merely “quitting pornography,” but is something far richer and more comprehensive. If merely modifying behavior was the most important thing, there are any number of psychological tips and tricks one can use. But for the Christian, as it should be for all people, the goal is not merely recovering from pornography, but being remade by God Himself into the image of the perfect Man, Jesus Christ. This is the work of the Holy Spirit. Just as sure as pornography stirs up lustful cravings in us, the Holy Spirit is a source of new, holy cravings. Galatians 5 says we who have the Holy Spirit have the “desires of the Spirit” (5:17). God promises that when we “keep in step with the Spirit,” the lusts of the flesh that lead to sexual immorality, impurity, and sensuality will not have their way in us (5:16,25). We can become new men and women from the inside out. What does it mean to keep in step with the Spirit of God, to walk in the Spirit? 1. We must walk in accountability where we can share our darkest secrets and be reminded of our highest calling. To walk in the Spirit, we must confess our sins to each other, pray for each other, and stir up one another to live according to our true identity. 2. We must internalize Scripture, the inspired words of the Spirit. To walk in the Spirit, we need to renovate our thoughts according to the truths He has revealed, rejecting the lies pornography has fed us. 3. We must walk in pure pleasure, taking great delight in holy and wholesome longings—finding pleasure in all that is honorable, pure, lovely, and excellent. To walk in the Spirit, we need to pursue pure pleasures with sincere gratitude until pornography loses its luster. 4. We must walk in our true identity, listening to cry of the Spirit in our hearts, “Abba, Father,” which confirms our new identity. To walk in the Spirit, we need to learn to relate to God, from the depths of our soul, as dearly loved adopted sons and daughters, believing that we belong to God and that our ties to sin are broken forever. 5. We must stir up the hope the Spirit inspires in us—the hope of righteousness. To walk in the Spirit, we need to wait eagerly for this hope, putting faith in God’s promises that we are destined for an eternity of purity, and longing to see that purity spill over into our present lives. 1. Walk in Accountability When Paul says we are to “walk in the Spirit” he is writing to a church community, not just to random individuals reading his letter in their private corners. Keeping in step with the Spirit of God is a community activity, something we do together. In other words, one of the ways we keep in step with the Spirit is by keeping in step with one another. We must live lifestyles of encouragement and accountability. The Spirit does not merely indwell individual Christians. He indwells the church corporately as His temple (2 Cor. 6:16). Walking in the power of the Spirit means we must depend on how the Spirit empowers others to help us. Nothing slays the power of sin like confession. James writes, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed” (James 5:16). In confessing our sins to God we are promised forgiveness. In confessing sin to others we are made whole. Sin must be habitually exposed to the light of confession. This is called accountability : being honest with another trusted believer about our temptations, sins, and the state of our heart. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, after eating of the forbidden fruit, our knee-jerk reaction is to hide—to hide from God and from one another. Accountability is the willingness to habitually and regularly allow others access to your heart, your motives, your secret desires, your dark thoughts, and, of course, your sinful actions. Confession of sin is not the only goal of Christian accountability. In the face of each other’s weaknesses, we need to encourage one another to fight sin. The author of Hebrews says, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24-25). Like the embers of a red-hot fire, we stir up the fire not by adding heat to it, but rather by exposing the glowing embers to the air, helping to bring out the energy that is already in the embers. If the Spirit of God is in us, He has already etched his law on our hearts (Jer. 31:33-34; Ez. 36:25-27). But He has also placed us in the family of the church, among trusted friends who are also filled with His Spirit, in order that we might stir up in each other what God has already put within us. Christian Accountability stirs up in one another what God has already placed within us 2. Walk According to the Word When Paul writes, “keep in step with the Spirit,” the word he uses is the same as that of an army marching in line, a platoon following its marching orders. Lest we think keeping in step with the Spirit is a purely mystical experience, Paul says it is very practical. Keeping in step with the Spirit means obeying His clearly revealed orders. We cannot claim to keep in step with God’s Spirit if we ignore or disobey the writings He inspired: the Scriptures. Through the Bible, the Holy Spirit speaks clear words to the church. As an expert in God’s law, Paul understood this. He knew all the writings of the prophets were “breathed out by God” (2 Tim. 3:16). No less than 32 times in Paul’s letters he uses the phrase “it is written,” pointing to the writings of the prophets who came before him. Paul also knew the Spirit was inspiring him and his fellow apostles (Eph. 3:5). The Scriptures are a gift from the Spirit to us: “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction,” Paul says, “that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” (Rom. 15:4). To keep in step with the Spirit we must know and obey the Book He inspired. We must explore the Bible and learn what God thinks. We must renew our minds with His thoughts. Exploring the Bible, we can “reverse engineer” the bad training pornography has given us and replace it with God’s thoughts. 1. Porn promises gratification but only decreases our sexual satisfaction. But God is the creator of sexual satisfaction and has designed marriage for its enjoyment (Song. 4:9-16). For single men and women, it means pursuing wholesome, intentional relationships with each other (1 Thess. 4:4). For married men and women, this means renewing our minds towards our spouses, choosing to make them our standard of attractiveness. It means returning again and again to the enjoyment of sex in marriage (Prov. 5:18-19; Song. 7:11-13). 2. Porn disconnects us from real relationships , training us to believe that the best sex is solo-sex. But God has defined good sex as an expression of “oneness,” not emotional detachment (Gen. 2:24). 3. Porn lowers our view of women, training us to see each other as sexual commodities. But God created women in His image , and as such, women are worthy of great honor (Gen. 1:27; 1 Pet. 3:7). 4. Porn desensitizes us to and eroticizes cruelty . But God has designed sex as an expression of affection , not aggression (Deut. 22:25; Eph. 5:28-30). 5. Porn hooks us deeply, leading to possible addiction and sexual bondage. But God redeems our warped sex drive so that sex is a holy act of love and giving, not selfishness and slavery (1 Cor. 13:4-7; Gal. 5:22-23). Sex becomes our master when we believe the lie that porn tries to sell us: that sex is a “need.” If sex is a need, then we feel justified when we get mad at the world or at God for not giving us the sex or the kind of sex we so rightly deserve. But if sex is not a need, but rather a good desire, then we can set it alongside other good desires and go to the Word to understand its place. Renew your mind in the Bible to reverse engineer the bad training porn has given us For married men and women, this means surrendering our sexual desires to the Lord in a spirit of giving, not taking, and regularly returning to our spouse to be intoxicated with love (Song. 1:4; Prov. 5:18-20). For single men and women, this means surrendering our sexual desires to the Lord, practicing self control, and using one’s undivided interests to serve the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32-35). Each of these ideas is only the beginning, but the more the mind engages with the Bible around these truths, the more our thoughts are renovated. Over time our minds will be rewired to see things the way God does. As we do this we are “sowing to the Spirit” and in time will reap a harvest of eternal life (Gal. 6:8). 3. Walk in Pure Pleasure Paul specifically states that what trumps sinful longings are holy longings: “the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh” (Gal. 5:17). Paul says if we keep in step with the Spirit’s desires, we will not gratify the desires of the flesh. The human spirit was never meant to be devoid of desire. If, in the battle against pornography, we only spend time trying to empty ourselves of the desire for it, we will inevitably fail or make ourselves miserable. Some desire will always try to fill the void. It is noteworthy that the language Paul uses to talk about the Spirit’s “desires” is the same word used throughout the New Testament for “lust.” The Spirit “lusts,” craves, longs—and He shares those longings with us. This is what the old Scottish minister Thomas Chalmers called “the expulsive power of a new affection.” Laws, rules, and regulations can only tell us what is bad and why it is bad, but they do not change our desires for sinful things. These sinful longings can only be conquered by implanting new “affections”—new cravings—that counter our sinful cravings. This is what the Spirit does in us: He shares His own desires with us, changing us from the inside out. The Holy Spirit longs for all things that God calls good. And lest we think this means we must constantly walk around in a holy fog and avoid physical pleasures, God calls us to embrace whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy—wholesome pleasures become a means to practicing God’s presence (Phil. 4:8). The world is full of holy pleasures for God’s people, and they can become windows of worship when they are infused with gratitude. “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” (1 Tim. 4:4). Paul writes to Titus, “To the pure, all things are pure” (Titus 1:15). In his book, Pure Pleasure, Gary Thomas explains this text: In context, Paul is arguing against hyper-religionists trying to saddle Christians with arbitrary rules and prohibitions. These teachers wanted to enslave believers to the old belief that if a defiled person touches something (food, drink, or even another person), this something becomes defiled. Paul cleverly turns this around, saying if someone is pure, then whatever they touch becomes pure!I’m arguing that we need to look at pleasure and the good gifts of this earth through the eyes of redemption. When our hearts are cleansed and transformed by God, the very things that used to cause us to stumble can now become friends of faith. Not all things, of course; anything specifically against the will and commands of God, regardless of what kind of pleasure it seems to offer, will always destroy our souls. But the good things of this earth, created by God to be received with thanksgiving and praise—things such as friendship, good food and fine drinks, laughter, sex, and family life—can be redeemed to season our life and faith in many positive ways. God can even give us the power to take what we formerly misused and transform it into an instrument of praise. Neurologically speaking, porn has carved a pathway of pleasure in the mind, but we can avoid that rut if we begin to carve our new holy pathways in the brain. In time, as pleasure-creating dopamine is released again and again through these pure channels, new habits are created and old habits begin to lose their luster. Over time we no longer look to porn as our release valve to entertain our idols, but rather we use healthy pleasures as means of delighting in God as the giver of every good and perfect gift. 4. Walk in Your True Identity In the original language, “walk in the Spirit” carries the sense of, “walk as you have been walking in the Spirit.” How had the Galatians been walking in the Spirit already? Earlier in the letter Paul writes about what the Spirit of Christ had been doing in the hearts of his readers: But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. ( Gal. 4:4-7 ) In other words, keeping in step with the Spirit means being able to pray—from our deepest heart—as adopted sons and daughters, not as spiritual orphans. Orphans obey in order to make themselves attractive prospects for adoption. Adopted children already know and believe they are loved. Adopted children obey because they are secure in the love they have from their parents, and that love has birthed in them a deep love of their own. At first, relating to God as a dearly loved son or daughter may sound overly simplistic. When fighting the deteriorating effects of sin in our hearts we cry out for action steps, for methods that summon our willpower—not sentiments about love. But this is the very thing the gospel of Christ warns against. Paul taught that religious regulations do not work. “If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—‘Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch’” (Col. 2:20-21). Try-harder ethics are useless: “they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh” (2:23). Better Internet filters and personal regulations might stop you from looking at porn for a time, but they will not transform a heart of lust. Instead, Paul says real change is first about knowing who we already are . “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3). “You have been raised with Christ” (3:1). “You have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self” (3:9-10). Only those who first know this about themselves have the power to slay sinful sexual desires and habits (3:5). “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 6:11). Paul does not say we are dying to sin (a process). He does not say we should die to sin (a command). He said that because we are intimately united with the risen Christ, because His resurrected life flows in our veins, we should consider ourselves already dead to sin. The word translated “consider” is an accounting term: it means to add something up, to take stock of something. When a child adds up how much money is in her piggy bank, at the end of the counting she doesn’t have any more or less in the bank than when she began. The only thing that has changed is her knowledge about the value of what is there. This is what Paul means. You already believe these basic gospel truths—Christ died to sin’s power, He rose from the dead, and the Spirit of the risen Christ lives within you—so now reckon it to be true; reconsider it; meditate on it; get the idea of your new identity deep into your soul. As much as porn feels alive to you, if you are in Christ, you are dead to porn. The Spirit of the living God is in you. As far as God is concerned, you are already His. God’s love for you cannot be overstated. The God and Father of our Lord Jesus loves you with an endless love, and you have done nothing to merit it or deserve it. He loves you despite all your unlovability, despite your lingering sinful desires. Though in your sin you are undeserving and undesirable, He loves you when your mind disavows it, your heart dodges it, and your soul dismisses it. He loves you right now as you are, not as you think you should be. If you are in Christ, God loves you right now as you are, not as you think you should be This, the New Testament says, is the key to unlocking God’s power for change. It is not God’s wrath that affects deep repentance in us, but rather, God’s kindness (Rom. 2:4). Being filled with all of God’s fullness happens not by knowing God’s power but by comprehending the breadth and length and height and depth of His love—a love that “surpasses knowledge” (Eph. 3:19). There is an unfathomable difference between relating to God as an orphan and relating to God as a son, and this is the first critical step of walking in the Spirit. God is not holding back His love until we get our act together. He wants us to relate to Him as one dearly loved—so much so that Christ’s Spirit whispers His prayer in our hearts, “Abba, Father.” He loves His true children now in the midst of their unworthiness, and in time His love transforms our desires. 5. Walk in Hope In the same letter to the Galatians, Paul writes, “For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness” (Gal. 5:5). Keeping in step with the Spirit and having hope are intimately connected: the Spirit kindles in us a fresh hope for the things God has promised. Paul declared a gospel of hope—of anticipation and expectation—which he calls the “hope of righteousness” (Gal. 5:5). Our great hope is that one day Christ will judge the world and make all things right again (Acts 17:31). He will destroy sin and death forever. He will recreate the world anew, and we will be just like Him (1 Cor. 15:51-55). God also promises that we will see foretastes of this “hope of righteousness” in the present age. Paul writes that as citizens of the kingdom of God, our lives should be filled with “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14:17). Though we are no longer under sin’s tyrannical power, sin is still present in our lives: our body “is dead because of sin” (Rom. 8:10). Porn, for many, will always carry some appeal. But we are promised God’s Spirit will “give life to your mortal body through His Spirit who dwells in you” (8:11), and by His grace, we can present the members of our bodies to God “as instruments of righteousness” (6:13). This is our astounding hope: that fallen, porn-loving sinners like us will become like the holy Son of God. For Paul, faith in this gospel hope does not merely mean we agree that these grand promises are real but that we give ourselves wholly to them: we center our lives on them. Far from being a passive thing, faith is active. It engages the mind and the heart. As the author of Hebrews says, faith is the assurance and essence of things hoped for (Heb. 11:1): it is the delightful conviction that the things we hope for are real. Walking in the Spirit means we stir up this hope in us, or as Paul says, we “eagerly wait” for it (Gal. 5:5). We all suffer from the distractions of the world and sin. It is for this reason the apostle Peter similarly urges us: “set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:13, italics added). Practically speaking, this means just as we have fed our minds on pornography, we should now feed our minds on God’s hope-filled promises. Just as we have spent hours engrossed in sexual media, we should spend hours filling our imaginations with God’s vision for our lives and our eternity. We must, as Paul says, set our minds on the things of the Spirit (Rom. 8:5), on the glories of our inheritance as God’s children (8:17). When it comes to saying no to lust and pornography, there are tailor-made promises in the Scriptures that hold out to us blessings of having a sexually pure mind and body. If you are sexually pure, you will be living in the will of God for your life (1 Thessalonians 4:3). If you fill your mind with that which is honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy, then God’s peaceful presence will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9). If you are not enslaved to your lusts, you will be free to serve others in love (Galatians 5:13). If you are sexually pure, your life will be fruitful, and that fruit will be full of goodness and truth (Ephesians 5:8-9). If you are sexually pure, your mind will no longer be foggy, your heart will be teachable, and you will be filled with the very life of God (Ephesians 4:17-19). If you are sexually pure, your heart will not be enslaved to the worship of sex, which means you can wholeheartedly devote yourself to the true and living God (1 Kings 11:4). If you are sexually pure, you will be more prepared to be a great lover and to enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse or future spouse (Proverbs 5:18-19). If you are sexually pure, you will keep your marriage bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). If you are sexually pure, you will no longer waste time but instead make the most of it (Ephesians 5:16). If you are sexually pure, you will be an honorable person (1 Thessalonians 4:4). If you are a sexually pure person, you will not be enslaved to your passions (1 Corinthians 6:12). This is God’s vision for your life: aligned with His will; surrounded by His peaceful presence; mastering your desires, not being a slave to them; full of goodness; full of life; full of honor; full of worship; tender-hearted and clear-minded; making the most of your days. When pornography assaults your senses or when those lustful flashbacks fill your mind, let this vision, and the promises attached to them, be the fuel you use to reject the world’s temptations. Walking in hope is a mentality shift. Instead of walking around with the belief that sin is inevitable and thereby unconquerable, we live with the expectation that sin is defeated and holiness is inevitable. Keeping in Step with the Spirit Walking in the Spirit is a lifetime journey, but as we keep in step with Him, we are promised that the desires of the flesh will not overwhelm us. We can finally be free. Such a vision of the Christian life might seem too high up and too far away for us, especially if we’ve lived for a long time in the shame of our darkest sexual obsessions. Daring to believe that God is as good as He says He is takes faith in the face of our deepest struggles. Benedictine monk Sebastian Moore says whenever our faith begins to buckle and we doubt the ugliness of our sin or the vastness of God’s love, we need only to meditate on the cross. In our relentlessly self-absorbed lives, at times we gloss over our sin, we rationalize it, we minimize it. Other times we feel the crushing weight of it and believe nothing is strong enough to change us. But at the cross we see the stripes the Son of God bore for us—convincing us that our sin is serious. There we see the compassionate face of One willing to die for His enemies—convincing us that our sin is never too great for God’s grace. And while standing at the foot of the cross, when all the evil in our shabby hearts tries to hold its own against God, He answers with the thunder of resurrection. Read the e-book Your Brain on Porn, by Luke Gilkerson.

Should we protect the planet by addressing the population boom as China did? Interesting question. Here’s what Dr. Russell Moore has to say: “Once, as my wife and I were walking down the aisle at a Whole Foods grocery store with our five kids, a lady scowled at us. I’ve acclimated a bit to this, since that many children seems to many to be not just freakish to some but selfish, a critical using up of the earth’s resources. I just shrugged and whispered, “We use organic birth control,” and walked on. I was joking, of course, but my quip wouldn’t have ended the conversation for some ethicists and scientists who argue that we should have fewer, if any, children, to save the earth. A recent National Public Radio feature highlighted a growing movement to encourage people to have fewer or no children, as a move to protect the ecosystem. This is, as one put it, a “moral obligation.” As one professor told NPR, “Maybe we should protect our children by not having them.” This idea is hardly new. The twentieth century was filled with warnings that the earth was populating at such a pace that we would be out of food and water by 1970 or 1990 or 2010 or pick your date for apocalyptic destruction. And those of us who care about environmental protection are often frustrated by finding a lack of allies, due to many parts of the movement insisting on population control. We’ve seen, over the years, the ways that depopulation has been just as hazardous for communities and landscapes as “overpopulation.” For some, this sort of call to limit children would be easily dismissed, along with the rest of the project of caring for the earth. These people would simply laugh at the entire project of stewarding the earth. That’s not an option for people who believe that the universe is not an accidental fluke but a creation deemed by God to be “good.” I am not a “quiver-full” type who insists on the maximum number of children possible per family. Still, we should see how an aversion to children isn’t the answer to stewarding the earth. For Christians, the material creation around us is not some temporary staging ground for heaven, despite what caricatures from our critics might say. All of the creation around us signals the glory of God (Rom. 1:20), and is encoded with something the Apostle Paul calls “the mystery of Christ” (Eph. 3:4). All things are to be “summed up” in Christ; that is, he will unite everything on heaven and earth in him (Eph. 1:10). The physical creation, then, is to be, like our bodies, ultimately a temple of the Holy spirit and a dwelling place for the reigning Christ Jesus. The original mandate of our ancestors to care for and to cultivate the earth does not just point us to the past (Gen. 1-2) but also to the future (Rev. 21-22). In a Christian view of the world, the creation is to be safeguarded by human beings, the image-bearers of God. We are not trespassers or parasites on the earth. The call to “dominion” is not, biblically, a call to exploit the creation, but, just the contrary, to cultivate it safely for the future. This is a responsibility uniquely given to human beings. At some level, we all recognize this. We do not hold dogs or coyotes or eagles morally accountable for their eco-systems. We do hold human beings morally accountable, and rightly so. The rearing of children is, at the most primal level, the same impulse that should drive humanity to check a reckless, selfish form of “dominion.” Our connection to future generations, cultivated in a love for children, is one that is to spark an other-directed, future-directed domino, one that preserves and protects eco-systems for generations to come. Procreation is pro-creation. The principle is made clear in God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28), and in the command to steward the earth. The care of creation is motivated, at least in part, by our concern for future generations. Mistreating the land or the waters or the air is to assert that one is the alpha and omega of one’s own existence. That is a denial of the future. When we welcome children among us, we are reminded that we are not self-creating gods, and that our generation is not the only one that matters. That’s why one of the most important concepts for caring for the creation, biblically, is that of inheritance. I don’t overrun my plot of land or my part of the water system or the air around me, due to my devotion both to God and to neighbor, including neighbors who will walk the earth long after I’m gone. It’s true that many are dismissive of the challenges we face in safeguarding the eco-systems around us. But the answer is not turning against the blessing of children and future generations. To do so would harm not only the family, but the earth too.” www.russellmoore.com . Used by permission.

As I have studied the Scripture, observed others’ lives, and seen deeper glimpses of my own heart over the years, I have come to realize that no one—no matter how spiritual—is exempt from the potential of succumbing to moral temptation. I have also become convinced that any woman can bring about the moral downfall of any man—no matter how godly. This is one area of our lives where we can never afford to be less than vigilant. According to God’s Word, a vow is a serious, binding commitment to God and not to be made or taken lightly. I have only made a few vows to the Lord. One of those sacred commitments is the vow to be morally pure. This is such a serious matter to me, that I have asked the Lord to take my life before I would jeopardize a marriage or come between any man and his wife. I have often been in a position where it would have been possible to cultivate an inappropriate relationship with a married man—or at the very least to make incremental compromises that could have fueled sinful desires in my own heart or in someone else’s heart. Why Do We Need Personal “Hedges”? Over the years, the Lord has led me to develop a set of “hedges” (boundaries) in relation to the men that I have served with and related to in various settings. Those hedges have been a powerful safeguard and protection—for my own heart, for those men and their marriages, for my reputation, and most importantly, for the reputation of Christ. I have been blessed to serve alongside of many men who have strong hearts for God. But I never assume that I (or they) are beyond being tempted and falling. The Enemy eagerly looks for opportunities to cause God’s children to fall. Let me explain the concept of “hedges” a bit more clearly. By “hedges,” I mean boundaries we establish in our relationships with individuals of the opposite sex. (My focus in this piece is particularly on our relationships as women with married men.) Just as hedges surround our property to protect and surround what is ours, and define what is not ours, we also need hedges in our relationships. Once those hedges are in place, they need to be carefully maintained. Each woman needs to know her own areas of weakness and vulnerability— especially if she has not been morally pure in the past—and adjust her hedges as needed, for greater protection. My personal “hedges” have been developed as I have watched others—and myself, at times—deal with difficult or tempting circumstances in relationships with members of the opposite sex. Another word picture I have found helpful is the concept of “guardrails.” Anyone who has driven on a narrow mountain road knows how crucial a guardrail is for safety. Staying within the guardrails provides protection from falling off the edge of the mountain, but it represents more than that; it represents freedom. Guardrails do indeed “restrict” us, but they also free us to drive without fear. Restrictions or Protections? For those who may consider these principles “legalistic,” I would suggest that far from being restrictive, these “hedges” have allowed me to enjoy healthy, wholesome friendships with the men with whom I work and serve, as well as with their wives and children. Adhering to these practices has allowed me to have a part in strengthening marriages and family relationships. I am not suggesting that all of these “hedges” are biblical absolutes or that violating any of these would necessarily be sin. However, after seeing the anguish and heartbreak of broken marriage covenants brought about by the entrance of a “third party,” I have come to believe that these are wise parameters and that those who violate them do so at their own peril. Helpful Guidelines This is not an exhaustive list or a guarantee against infidelity. These are simply some of my personal “hedges”—principles that have served me well during many years of working alongside married men. It was never my intent to publish this list. However, as I have shared this concept of establishing personal “hedges,” I have often been asked if I would be willing to share mine. Further, I have watched enough naïve or foolish women (and men) act in inappropriate ways toward the opposite sex—and then been called upon to pick up the wreckage left behind—that I felt it would be helpful to share these specific examples. My “hedges” reflect my desire to be discreet and not to defraud the men around me—through my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes. To some who have been influenced by our permissive culture, these standards will probably seem excessive. To which I would simply ask: what’s it worth to you to avoid the devastating consequences of adultery? It’s hard to imagine how an adulterous relationship could develop if these precautions were maintained. For those who don’t know me personally, you might think this approach borders on being obsessive. However, I have found that as I hold to biblical convictions and keep specific practical “hedges” of this nature in place, I don’t have to “obsess” about guarding my heart or having pure relationships. I can trust God to work in and through me as I relate to men in godliness, purity, and wisdom. It is my prayer that God will lead you as you seek to establish effective “hedges” and “guardrails” for your own life, and that you will experience the freedom, joys, and blessings of “keeping your heart with all diligence.” Practical “Hedges” in Working with Married Men Most of my contact with married men has been in the context of the workplace— working and serving together in ministry. A huge percentage of emotional and physical “affairs” begin in the workplace. The following “hedges” are specifically targeted toward relationships with married men in the workplace, but most could be applied more broadly to relationships in other settings, including the church, school, counseling situations, social or community groups, etc. These “hedges” are not necessarily a measurement of spirituality—it would be possible to abide by a list twice this long and still have an impure heart or be guilty of self-righteousness. No “list” can be a substitute for sincere love for Christ and a heart to please Him. This is not a comprehensive list; these are merely some practical guidelines that I have found to be helpful and would urge you to consider as you develop your own “hedges” for relationships and become accountable to God and others for maintaining them. As a rule, the closer the working relationship with a married colleague of the opposite sex, the higher and more “inflexible” the hedges need to be. Reduce Opportunities for Temptation or Accusation • If it is necessary to meet alone, keep the door ajar or meet in a room with a window. Don’t meet in private places; be sure others are in the vicinity. • Always have a third party if required to travel together. Don’t ride alone together in a vehicle. • When traveling for business or ministry, stay on different floors of the hotel, unless he is accompanied by his wife. • No meals together without a third party. (I realize that in many business settings, it is considered “standard practice” to meet, travel, or dine with members of the opposite sex. But I am convinced that is risky at best and foolish at worst. In our ministry, maintaining these particular hedges often requires inconvenience or additional expense. But it’s a small price to pay if you care about being above reproach morally, guarding your heart, protecting others’ marriages, and, above all, glorifying God.) • Don’t flirt! Be careful about even “innocent” playfulness and teasing—especially when you are alone with each other. (He should have more “fun” with his wife than with any other woman!) • Dress modestly. (Provocative clothing sends an invitation to a party you have no right to throw.) • Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t invite, receive, or initiate intimate forms of physical contact (i.e., embracing, kissing, caressing, stroking, etc.). Refuse to Participate in Conversations That May Damage Relationships • Don’t listen to him speak critically of his wife. Praise his wife to him and others. Never criticize her to him or to others. • Don’t provide a listening ear for him to share his marital difficulties or tensions at home. • Don’t confide personal or emotional concerns unless his wife or a third party is present. • Avoid expressing admiration for physical characteristics, clothing, etc. • Have a grateful spirit, but be discreet and restrained in offering verbal or written encouragement, even for godly characteristics. His need/desire for admiration should appropriately be fueled by his wife! • Be discreet and restrained in expressing admiration for him to others. • No secrets! Don’t communicate anything to him (verbally or in writing) that you would not be comfortable with him sharing with his wife (unless you’re planning a surprise birthday party for her!). Never ask that he refrain from sharing something with his wife. • In written and verbal communication, include references to his wife (e.g., “How is _______ doing?” “Tell ______ I said ‘hello.’” “I am so grateful for you and ________.” “You and ________ have been on my heart.”) Respect Co-workers’ Marriages and Family Relationships • Don’t establish a close working relationship, unless you know his wife and have a positive relationship with her. (I realize this may not be possible in some work environments. But I have found this an enormously helpful principle. The more closely you work with him, the more important this is.) • Copy his wife on any email communication that relates to personal matters (including spiritual issues). (I can’t emphasize this enough. Email can be an incredibly subtle avenue for inappropriate communication and cultivating “intimacy.”) • Don’t call him at home unnecessarily. Be considerate—if his wife or a child answers the phone, take time to connect with them before asking to speak with him. • Be sensitive to periods that he and his wife may not have had a lot of time together, and limit time spent working together accordingly. Exercise the same caution if you have reason to believe there may be tension or stress in his marriage. • When with the couple, include her in the conversation. If discussing work-related matters, explain what you’re talking about, so she doesn’t feel left out or “in the dark.” • Show genuine interest in his wife and look for opportunities to bless, serve, and encourage her—birthdays, special occasions, needs you can meet, etc. • Look for opportunities to minister to them as a couple (and family)—anniversaries, gifts for date nights, etc. • Be a genuine and loving friend to his wife and children. Show an interest in what interests them. • If his wife has any concerns or hesitations regarding his relationship with you, get out of the way! Request a transfer or quit your job if necessary. She may be overly sensitive; she may be a “terrible wife.” There may be “nothing going on” between you and her husband. Regardless, it is your responsibility to do everything in your power to encourage and protect their marriage. Do not let yourself become a wedge in his relationship with his wife—for any reason. Respond to God’s Spirit for Maximum Protection • Don’t allow a mental, emotional, or spiritual bond between you that is more intimate than what he has with his wife. Ask the Lord to prompt you when you are getting too close. • Be accountable. Share your “hedges” with one or more close women friends who will commit to ask periodically whether you are maintaining them. • If you find yourself being tempted mentally or emotionally, share with a mature, female confidant, for purposes of accountability. Don’t wait until you’re in trouble to reach out for help! • If another believer expresses concern about your relationship with a married man, don’t dismiss their caution. The wise person listens to and heeds counsel! • Depend on the indwelling Spirit of God to guard your heart, direct your steps, and protect your relationships. Making it Personal Write a prayer responding to what you have just read. • Express your commitment to be pure in your relationships with men (whether married or single). • Ask God to show you what practical “hedges” need to be in place in your life and to give you grace to maintain those safeguards. • If you are in a situation where you are vulnerable to temptation or have developed an inappropriate relationship with a man, record what steps you intend to take to obey God and be pleasing to Him in this matter. • Ask God to guard your heart, to make your life a reflection of the purity and love of Christ, and to help you be a blessing rather than a hindrance to the men around you and to their wives and children. Entitled: True Woman: Personal “Hedges.” Taken from reviveourhearts.com. Used by permission.