If you are a Christian, then the statements below are true of you. READ DAILY AND PRAY OUT LOUD. THESE TRUTHS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I am accepted… John 1:12 I am God’s child. John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 I have been justified. 1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. 1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body. Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. I am secure… Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God. Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven. 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. I am significant… John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God’s temple. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God. Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship. Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Share 0 Do you care if your child texts while driving, wears a seat belt, rides in a car where the driver has been drinking alcohol, drives a car while drinking alcohol, is involved in dating violence, smokes cigarettes, binge drinks, uses pot, considers suicide, engages in physical fighting?” Well, according to a recent National Centers for Disease Control study called “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Related Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12,” students who had never had sex were also the ones who were far more likely to avoid all sorts of devastating risky behaviors. These teens consistently rated significantly higher in making healthy choices when compared to their sexually active peers. Of course there will be those who ask the proverbial question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Or in this case, was it avoiding sex that led to saying no to alcohol or did saying no to alcohol lead to avoiding sex? The data shown in this major national survey of adolescents cannot scientifically demonstrate a cause-and-effect relationship, but a very strong association is clear. Compare the correlation rates among students who answered they either: 1. Had sexual contact with the opposite sex 2. Had sexual contact with the same sex or with both sexes 3. Never had sexual contact Time and time again, the students who have not had sex are the same students who consistently make wise choices to avoid other risky behaviors. The following are just a few of the long list of risky behaviors covered in the CDCs national survey: Rarely or never do I use seatbelts • 7.3% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 143% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 12.5% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 317% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 3.0% of students who have had no sexual contact Rode with a driver who had been drinking alcohol • 25.4% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 94% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 28.1% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 115% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 13.1% of students who have had no sexual contact Drove while drinking alcohol • 11.0% of the students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 424% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 13.9% of the students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 562% more than those who have never had sexual contact) • 2.1% of the students who have had no sexual contact Texted or emailed while driving • 53.7% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 124% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 43.5% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 81% more than those who have never had sexual contact) • 24.0% of students who have had no sexual contact Been in a physical fight • 30.1% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 133% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 37.0% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 187% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 12.9% of students who have had no sexual contact Experienced physical dating violence • 10.8% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 260% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 23.5% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 683% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 3.0% of students who have had no sexual contact Felt sad or hopeless • 32.9% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 48% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 62.7% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 181% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 22.3% of students who have had no sexual contact Considered attempting suicide • 19.7% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 64% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 44.5% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 271% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 12.0% of students who have had no sexual contact Currently uses cigarettes • 16.3% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 394% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 26.6% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 706% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 3.3% of students who have had no sexual contact Currently uses alcohol • 48.2% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 219% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 53.7% of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 256% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 15.1% of students who have had no sexual contact Currently uses marijuana • 32.7% of students who had sexual contact with only the opposite sex (or 336% more likely to currently use than those who have never had sexual contact) • 43.7%of students who had sexual contact with only the same sex or with both sexes (or 483% more than those who never had sexual contact) • 7.5% of students who have had no sexual contact And the list from the survey goes on and on and on . . . When young people develop the self-discipline to save sex for marriage – that same strong character will empower them to make wise, healthy choices and avoid risky behaviors. Thus, preventing the domino effect. In other words – setting high standards in such a key component of a person’s life, allows them the ability to avoid the consequences that so often cause serious stumbling blocks and resulting in destroyed dreams and goals. How fortunate are young people who have parents, family members, friends, teachers, school administrators and mentors who believe in them enough to cheer them on in this exciting journey called life. Perhaps this information will make for great dinnertime conversation tonight. And make sure you tell your children the CDC study also stated: 59% of High School Student have NEVER had sex! In other words – Most teenagers today are virgins. Spread the word! Oh, and for any who have already had sex – it’s never too late to start over! www.aimforsuccess.org . Used by permission.

My parents marched into the classroom and demanded to know why their son got a B. It was tense. This was my first B in high school and it was clear that this was not an acceptable behavior. I learned right then and there that school was about getting A’s above everything else. I had to figure out the system and make sure I never got another B. School was no longer interesting. School was about gaming the system to get the desired results. 1. School Work Death March, or Fun & Meaningful? Set the expectation that school and grades are important. Help your kids by getting them into a good school with good teachers. You need to be excited about the schoolwork. Be positive. Ask Him/Her, ”Tell me a little about the material.” It’s a great way to encourage your child on what they are learning. They want to tell you. Use dinner table conversation as a way to reinforce the positive tone towards school. Be engaged with your kid’s schoolwork at an early age. 2. When things don’t go right If they get bad grades, Say, “These aren’t my grades. These are your grades.” Say, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on these grades.” Love them no matter what happens. Keep in contact with their teacher about why they struggled. 3. Celebrate and Encourage their effort, don’t praise the grade. Encourage them by saying, “Your decision to take school seriously and your hard work is paying off.” Encouragement focuses on diligence, kindness, gratitude, effort, etc. Praise, which is not helpful, focuses on the person. Kids are self-centered enough. Focus on their effort. Steps to help your children: Affirm your kid’s feelings. Ask a question about school after the first 6 weeks. Identify that school gets tougher each year. Ask, “How can we help you overcome this wall now?” Say, “Let’s figure out how to alter things around here to help you be successful.” I’m sure we can free up some time for you. We suggest ___________. Remember to tell them: “These aren’t my grades. These are your grades.” www.drleman.com . Used by permission.

Augustine and Aquinas—two of history’s most influential theologians—imagined that in Heaven people would focus exclusively on God and that relationships between human beings would be minimal or insignificant.[i] These great theologians were swayed by Christoplatonism. For the most part, they didn’t seem to grasp that the eternal Heaven will be on Earth, where people will live and work in a relational society, glorifying God not merely as individuals but as a family in rich relationship with each other. Near the end of his life, however, Augustine significantly changed his view of Heaven. He said, “We have not lost our dear ones who have departed from this life, but have merely sent them ahead of us, so we also shall depart and shall come to that life where they will be more than ever dear as they will be better known to us, and where we shall love them without fear of parting.”[ii] He also said, “All of us who enjoy God are also enjoying each other in Him.”[iii] Do you have a close friend who’s had a profound influence on you? Do you think it is a coincidence that she was in your dorm wing or became your roommate? Was it accidental that your desk was near his or that his family lived next door or that your father was transferred when you were in third grade so that you ended up in his neighborhood? God orchestrates our lives. “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live” (Acts 17:26). Since God determined the time and exact places you would live, it’s no accident which neighborhood you grew up in, who lived next door, who went to school with you, who was part of your church youth group, who was there to help you and pray for you. Our relationships were appointed by God, and there’s every reason to believe they’ll continue in Heaven. God’s plan doesn’t stop on the New Earth; it continues. God doesn’t abandon His purposes; He extends and fulfills them. Friendships begun on Earth will continue in Heaven, getting richer than ever. Will some friendships be closer than others? Augustine claimed, “In the city of Godthere will be no special friendships. . . . All special attachments will be absorbed into one comprehensive and undifferentiated community of love. . . . The universalized love of heaven permits no exclusive, restricted circles of friends.”[iv] But how does this position stand up to Scripture? Just because we’ll be sinless doesn’t mean we won’t be drawn to certain people more than others. We’ll like everyone, but we’ll be closer to some than others. Jesus was closer to John than to any of the other disciples. Jesus was closer to Peter, James, and John than to the rest of the Twelve, and closer to the Twelve than to the seventy, and closer to the seventy than to His other followers. He was close to Lazarus and Martha, and closer still to their sister Mary. He was so close to His mother that while He was dying on the cross, He instructed John to care for her after His death. Since Christ was closer to some people than to others, clearly there can’t be anything wrong with it. In Heaven there won’t be cliques, exclusiveness, arrogance, posturing, belittling, or jealousy. But when friends particularly enjoy each other’s company, they are reflecting God’s design. If, as you walk about the New Jerusalem, you see Adam and Eve holding hands as they look at the tree of life, would you begrudge them their special friendship? Perhaps you’re disappointed that you’ve never had the friendships you long for. In Heaven you’ll have much closer relationships with some people you now know, but it’s also true that you may never have met the closest friends you’ll ever have. Just as someone may be fifty years old before meeting her best friend, you may live on the New Earth enjoying many friendships before meeting someone who will become your dearest friend. Maybe your best friend will be someone sitting next to you at the first great feast. After all, the sovereign God who orchestrates friendships will be in charge of the seating arrangements. On the New Earth we’ll experience the joy of familiarity in old relationships and the joy of discovery in new ones. As we get to know each other better, we’ll get to know God better. As we find joy in each other, we’ll find joy in Him. No human relationships will overshadow our relationship with God. All will serve to enhance it. [i] Augustine, quoted in Colleen McDannell and Bernhard Lang, Heaven: A History (New York: Vintage Books, 1988), 58. [ii] Ibid., 60. [iii] Augustine, On the Christian Doctrine, 1:32–33. [iv] Augustine, quoted in McDannell and Lang, Heaven: A History, 64–65. www.epm.org

‘Tis the season of Advent – the celebration of the coming, the appearing of Jesus Christ. Advent consists of the four Sundays leading up to Christmas, and Christmas Day. Traditionally, the Christian church has used the first two Sundays of Advent to anticipate the second coming of Christ and the last two Sundays to celebrate his first coming, as a baby in a manger in Bethlehem. Different church traditions approach Advent in different ways, but I favor the approach of focusing on the four key messages of the Christmas story: hope, peace, joy, and love. The Christmas season seems to do two things in relationship to hope. It highlights and accentuates the hopefulness we can have when we follow Jesus, who came once, and who is coming again. But this time of year also exposes the hopelessness that so many feel because of loneliness and losses. It’s a tough time of year for a lot of people financially, with winter coming on and the days getting shorter. There’s less sunlight and therefore, a little less energy and a little more sadness (seasonal affective disorder is a real thing caused by a decrease in exposure to natural light). If you find yourself struggling emotionally at this time of year, you need to memorize this brief, powerful motto: There is always, always hope. I’ve suffered from mild depression off and on throughout the last decade of my adulthood. There have been plenty of moments when the negative thoughts creep in. They can become overwhelming. One thing goes wrong and “everything” is wrong. One person offers criticism and “everyone” is against me. I know those thoughts aren’t rational, but in the moment, they’re powerful. Even more powerful, however, is this truth… there is always, always hope. There is always, always hope because my Creator is alive and well. He rules and reigns. While I may suffer for a season, his purposes will prevail. There is always, always hope because Jesus died for my sins, offering me pardon for my crimes against my Creator and release from guilt and shame. There is always, always hope because the Comforter, the Advocate, the Helper, the Holy Spirit, has come alongside me in my walk with God, and he never leaves. There is always, always hope because the church advances forward, taking the gospel to new places and attacking global giants together. There is always, always hope because Jesus is coming again. He will reign forever in peace. All of our tears will be wiped away. God loves you . He never gives up on you. He sees the best of you that you often can’t see for yourself. He knows what your future can be from his perspective. He paid for your freedom with the price of his own Son, Jesus. He knows you. He knows your pain and your problems and your potential. Keep going. Keep loving. Keep reaching out. Keep hoping! One of my favorite phrases in the Bible comes out of the story of Abraham’s desperate struggle to keep his faith in his old age while waiting to have a child. The Bible says, “ Hoping in spite of hopeless circumstances, he believed that he would become ‘the father of many nations,” just as he had been told: ‘This is how many descendants you will have.’” (Romans 4:18 ISV) In spite of hopeless circumstances… (that’s where you might find yourself today), he kept on hoping, believing that God would be true to his own good nature and his promises. And you, too, can count on that today! www.pastors.com . Used by permission.

Then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. . . . And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matt. 24:10-12 KJV). The only way to not be permanently offended is to have the “unoffendable” heart of Jesus Christ. Attaining Christ’s heart is not a minor issue. Remember, Jesus warned that in the last days “many” would be offended. A wounded spirit is not the same thing as an offended spirit. We may have experienced a cutting remark or slander from someone that wounds us. As the wave of this event rolls over our thoughts, it is right at this moment that we must determine the outcome, that with God’s help we will make this work for us. It is at this juncture that we must process our wounds in a Christlike manner. If we fail to respond rightly we will begin to fake our Christianity. Indeed, an offended spirit, left unattended and brooding in our minds, will soon manifest as betrayal, hatred and cold love. Jesus said offenses would be the ultimate cause that leads many to fall away from the faith. Listen well: in the above verse, Jesus linked the real cause of apostasy not only to wrong doctrines, but wrong reactions. Isn’t it important that our doctrines are correct? Of course, but we can have right information and still have a wrong response. Doctrinal information can always be upgraded and refined, but Proverbs warns that someone “offended is harder to be won than a strong city,” and “contentions” between people “are like the bars of a castle” (Prov. 18:19). Yes, beware of false leaders, but more deceitful than false prophets or teachers are our own hearts when they are offended (Jer. 17:9). Are you living with an offended heart? If so, you are gradually slipping away from true Christianity, which is known for its agape love. Thus, dealing with an offended heart is vital in maintaining ongoing spiritual maturity. For this reason, we need to look again at the things that offend us. Expectations The unrealistic expectations we sometimes put on others will, at some point, cause people to fall short and offend us. For instance, I know married couples that expect their spouse will meet their every need — and yes, they will meet some of our needs. However, at the deepest level, our souls were created to find security in God, not man. When the Almighty truly becomes our source of peace and provision, our well-being is defined by our awareness of God’s love. As we put our confidence in God, we can live more comfortably with the people around us. Still, the very strength of our expectations can choke out the sweetness of a personal relationship. Suppose that, instead of burdening people with our expectations, we simply learned to appreciate them for themselves — no strings attached. What if we approach family and friends with gratitude for who they are rather than disappointment for what they failed to do? Suppose that a husband, instead of expecting a full-course dinner from his wife each night, learned to appreciate whatever she was able to offer him? Then instead of his failed expectation degrading into an offense, there would be a living, sincere appreciation for the food his wife prepared. I know we have arrangements by common consent, but in reality, a wife is under no obligation to cook special meals or do housekeeping. You did not marry her to be your housekeeper, but to become one with her. Or imagine a husband who works a long, tiring job. However, his wife expects that he will work another two hours at home or go shopping with her or listen attentively about her problems. What if instead she welcomed him at the door and sincerely thanked him for daily giving himself to support their family? What if she met him not with demands but with appreciation? Perhaps she might even massage his shoulders and, because of love, have his favorite meal prepared. You see, expectations can seem like legitimate aspects of a relationship, but false or unrealistic expectations can also cause us to be disappointed and offended when people fall short. I have known situations in the past where my expectations actually blinded me to the efforts being made by a loved one. They were trying to improve in an area I was unaware of because my focus was preset upon a different expectation. I should have been grateful and encouraging, but instead all I thought about was having my expectation fulfilled. Now I discuss my expectations with those close to me. But the greatest expectation I have is that my heavenly Father will help me to respond like Christ to all situations. I put a premium upon enjoying the uniqueness of others, sincerely thanking God for their contribution to my life. www.frangipane.org . Used by permission.

Do you wonder why your church is not growing? Have you ever read Acts 15? It’s right between Acts 14 and Acts 16! Many people find themselves skipping the chapter, or at best, lazily dozing their way through it to get to the excitement of chapter 16 where Paul received his great “Macedonian Call.” But there are thousands of churches in America that need to hear the message of Acts 15. It’s written for grumpy people. Or more accurately, it’s written about some grumpy people. They were more religious and more “churchy” than everyone else, and yet demonstrated the greatest lack of maturity among all the saints. Let me give you the short version… Paul and Barnabas were doing awesome things for God, bringing the least, the last, and the lost to Christ, and establishing local churches across the region. The church was happy! There was celebration and excitement! The church sent the delegates to Jerusalem, and they stopped along the way in Phoenicia and Samaria to visit the believers. They told them—much to everyone’s joy—that the Gentiles, too, were being converted. ( Acts 15:3 NLT ) Notice, growth is happening. People are being saved. Churches are being started. After thousands of years of obstinate resistance, finally, the Gentiles are submitting to Jehovah and receiving Jesus as Savior. The Jewish Christians must have been thrilled! They must have been overwhelmed with a sense of triumph as they watched God’s Spirit doing such great miracles in their midst! And then we read… But then some of the believers who belonged to the sect of the Pharisees stood up and insisted, “The Gentile converts must be circumcised and required to follow the law of Moses.” So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue…  ( Acts 15:5-6 NLT ) Then the Judaizers showed up – a group of people who were telling all of these new converts to Christianity that they had to be circumcised into Judaism before they could really, truly be saved. Imagine pulling hot, fresh-baked brownies from the oven, covering them with a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream, drizzling warm chocolate syrup over the top and adding a touch of whipped cream and then… seasoning it with several tablespoons of garlic salt. Is your mouth watering now? One of the great frustrations of ministry is when into the mix of Spirit-filled joy over what God is doing, someone misuses their spiritual saltiness like the Pharisaical believers did in this passage. They were the rule-keepers, there to make sure that all of this growth was done according to the book (their own book, by the way – a system of humanly-originated rules designed for the purpose of bottlenecking ministry with extra paperwork). One of the biggest problems with this dousing of spiritual flames is that it cannot be ignored. Verse six records, So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue. Then all of chapter 15 concerns itself with one of the earliest church councils. Imagine, the Spirit-filled leaders of the early church, ready to take on the world, taking a break from their zealous pursuit of the lost to consider a matter brought up by… joysuckers. Verse three of Acts 15 records that all the brethren had great joy over what God was doing. Three verses later, those same brethren had to stop to deal with the complaint. Like poking a helium balloon with a hot needle, the pharisaical believers (they were saved, according to Scripture) had managed to deflate the zeal of the fledgling church at a crucial time. Why do we do this? Why, when things seem to start going well, does someone have to call what is happening into question? I believe there are two key words that must be noticed to understand the phenomenon. One is the word “Pharisees.” Remember their past? They were always rule-keepers before, nitpickers with an agenda for keeping everyone in line. They had been saved, but their old natures kept hanging around. Then the word “Gentiles.” Those crazy outsiders to the Judaic covenant people who never seemed to want to live by the rules. The same thing happens in evangelical churches across the land. God begins to move. And when God moves, new people are drawn to what God is doing. There is a breath of fresh air, a new kind of leadership, a fresh sense of the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. The only problem is, when new people come in, things… change! And to change, we humans tend to react with radical and irrational fear. Why? Because change is something that cannot be regulated or controlled. And nobody likes to lose control. My wife and I have watched three little babies grow to childhood and adolescence. We wanted them to talk. So they started. And now we’d like a little peace and quiet. They’re growing. They eat, sleep, and outgrow clothes. Do you know what the definition of growth is? It’s change over time. If our infants had never changed, they would never have grown. How do you react when change comes; when growth occurs; when God seems to be doing something to which you are not accustomed? Do you rejoice like the brethren in Jerusalem? Or do you get out the rule book to make sure things have been done correctly? Every church is a family and every family has a certain personality. You know families that are quiet and peaceful and others who are reactive and loud. There are families that are happy-go-lucky and families that always seem to be on edge and involved in unnecessary drama. The same is true with churches. Every church has a certain atmosphere that is determined by its overall attitude toward ministry and growth. Rick Warren often says that we ask the wrong question about churches and growth. We often ask, “What will make my church grow?” when we should be asking, “What is stopping my church from growing?” May it not be my attitude that is holding us back! Let’s get on board with what God is doing. We’ll be discerning of what is biblical and what is not, but we’ll refuse to put a fresh movement of God under a microscope to be so intensely evaluated that we cannot enjoy the process. May the joysuckers among us be rebuked. May we celebrate the release of control and the embrace of change and growth. May God give us hearts of joy to watch Him at work in fresh ways! Re-printed from www.pastors.com. Used by permission.

Do I really want to see myself? Really? Not as I might prefer to see myself in order to have some rickety and ill-placed semblance of peace. Not the image that grants me permission to stay a course that maybe I should stay away from. Not the perception of myself that allows me to side-step guilt, by-pass accountability, and circumvent obligations that I find a bit distasteful. All of that aside, do I really want to see myself? Really? We tend to craft an image of ourselves that fits what we’d like to be, but not necessarily what we are. We’re quite adept at recognizing what’s culturally acceptable so that we can be acceptable to the culture. We know what fits in the tight social circles within which we circulate, and we have some grasp of the latest trends as we see them spread across magazine covers and splashed across our television screens. In no way are we short on examples as served up by the culture, and we are perpetually subject to a bevy of obstinate expectations associated with those examples. In artfully and sometimes rather stumbling ways we draw from these various examples and expectations, crafting our image so that we fit whatever they happen to be at the moment. Confusion in the Shaping And in the shaping we incessantly focus on what we’re supposed to be, which is perpetually held in some jarring tension against this sense of who we actually are. Over time, we develop an ever-morphing confusion regarding our identity as this constant tension too often plays itself out on the side of what’s expected of us verses who we authentically are. The battle incessantly incurred by this tension leaves us little time and inadequate energy to explore our core selves, as such an endeavor carried out with diligence will always ask the best of us. The mad chase to be whatever it is that will be accepted, to the greatest degree that it can be accepted, in conjunction with the elusive hunt to obtain whatever it is that allows us to blend in with a world that is itself trying to blend in . . . all of that consumes all of our time. And in the consumption, we are never free enough to ask who it is that we really are. Maybe We Don’t Want to Know The reality might be that we don’t want to know who we are. In part, maybe this incessant pursuit is in reality flight from who we fear we might be. Maybe the person that we attempt to craft is something that we perceive as a bit shinier and slightly more striking in comparison to the person that we actually are. Maybe the image that the world propagates is better. Maybe, just maybe the world knows something that we don’t know. Maybe we’d rather be shaped by the world rather than being shaped by histories that are painful, or losses that are devastating, or belief systems that were forced upon us, or dreams that were forced into us. It might be that we don’t like who life has made us to be, so we haplessly gawk at those vogue and savvy examples of what it is to be a vibrant and exuberant person. Or just maybe we want a bigger hand in making us who we’ve become over and above everything else that has taken license to shape us in whatever way we’ve been shaped. But do we really want to know who we are? And is this fear of knowing in reality a fear of self. Is it a fear of what I might find if I scratch the surface a bit? Is it a throbbing apprehension of what sits down there in those dark places that would forever brutalize me should I bring it to the light? Has my life been so marked by running from myself that running to myself is something that I don’t even understand how to do? Is my goal to reinvent myself rather than rediscover myself because what I think I’d discover isn’t all that appealing? Or do I assume that an image is something that is crafted rather than something that is cultivated? The Richness of Running to Self I would propose that the most potent person I can become begins with the solitary yet immensely challenging task of being the person I am. That may in fact be the most difficult part of this journey that we call life. The greatest ‘me’ begins with the authentic ‘me.’ That means that I must be willing to park myself wherever I am at, rein in my rather rogue passions, forcefully yet tactfully strip away all the facades, and accept whatever I find as my point of departure. While I tend to run from me, I need to decide to run to me. And in the running I am going to seek out and boldly seize the strengths that I have ignored or altogether abandoned. It may well be that I have spent my life incessantly looking for things outside of me that are already within me. It would be entirely prudent to embrace an entirely different tact that involved recognizing these hidden attributes, learning to warmly appreciate them, and then robustly enhancing them in a perpetual cycle of personal growth that we could have hardly imagined as possible. Where It Begins It begins with intention not bridled by fear. It involves the impetus of possibilities to offset the impotence of impossibilities in order to actually challenge the impossible. It’s an intention to grow despite the obstacles that currently lay across our path, as well as press through the obstacles that will arise as a response to our efforts to press forward. It all begins with a passion to grow that will not heed nor be dimmed by the challenges that in and of themselves will bring growth simply by virtue of our choice to engage them. Second, authentic growth can only begin with an authentic start. That means that we must focus on who we are, which is typically quite different from who we’ve become. This focus is achieved by brazenly identifying the assorted facades, fearlessly calling them out, audaciously casting them off, and then embracing both the glory and gore of that which lies underneath. It is that glory and gore that is the raw material from which we build a self beyond anything that any collection of facades could hope to fabricate. Third, we must secure the resources that are above us and adamantly avoid those that are below us. This means that we refuse anything that generates a lateral move or grants us permission to grow in place, neither of which have anything to do with growth. We must find those people seasoned with wisdom, seize those resources that are unashamedly bold, and be willing to allow those resources to speak into our lives even when their messages are hard and sharp. The Face in the Mirror The face in mirror is a great one already which stands ready to be made greater still. It can be done when we choose to press through fear, tear ourselves down to our authentic self, and intentionally seek out challenging resources to assist in our growth. And when we do, the person that we’ve shaped ourselves to be pales in comparison to the person we are now on our way to becoming. Used by permission of the author.

When we make New Year’s resolutions, we are usually quite sincere but idealistic. We promise more than we will realistically deliver, which sets us up for false guilt, toxic shame, grief and maybe even depression. Addictions are driven by shame and lack of connectedness, so the more shame we have, the more addictive tendencies we will have also. There is nothing wrong with prayerfully meditating on ways you hope the New Year will be better for you, including ways you would like to mature spiritually and otherwise. But making specific promises to yourself is not something I suggest doing. If you have low, but still good expectations, you will not be disappointed. You will likely exceed these lower expectations and be pleasantly surprised rather than being disappointed that you did not live up to unrealistic expectations. 1. DETERMINE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN THE COMING YEAR. The people who are happiest and have most meaningful lives on are those who love and are loved by people who know all their secrets and love them anyway. God knows more secrets about us than we will ever know about ourselves and loves us unconditionally with “no condemnation (Romans 8:1).” Follow the Great Commandment—to love God with all your heart, and your neighbor as much as you love yourself. If you obey only the Great Commandment, you will automatically obey all other commandments. Following this, is better than any resolution you could probably come up with. 2. REEVALUATE ALL YOUR CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS. Every year between Christmas and New Year’s Day, I reevaluate the people I spent most of my time with in the previous year—relatives, friends, church friends, work associates, neighbors, etc. There are nearly always a few I have become impressed with as far as their spiritual and emotional encouragement, positive vibes, or even their willingness to confront me tactfully and honestly when I need confrontation. I want to be surrounded by people who love me enough to confront me if I do or say something that bothers them, not just people who approve of everything I say or do. I determine to spend more time with those who encourage and support me than with those who are negative or bring me down. 3. REEVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Again, I do not make specific New Year’s resolutions, like reading four chapters of the Bible a day, getting up early every morning for prayer, etc. But do pray about ways to carry on moment-by-moment conversations with God off and on throughout the day. He is a loving friend who is at your side every moment of every day. Praying an hour a day or reading four chapters in the Bible a day does not impress God at all. You are likely just flexing your super-spiritual muscles and becoming prideful about your super-spirituality. He desires a relationship, not regimentation. 4. RE-EVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF. Most people are shocked when they become aware, often during therapy, of how nasty they are to themselves. For example, if you lock your keys in your car today, what do you say to yourself when you find out? “You stupid idiot!” or other abusive messages. Now let me ask you what you would say if you and your best friend went shopping and your best friend locked the keys in the car. Would you say, “You stupid idiot”? No, you would likely tell the truth, which is, “Don’t feel bad. We all make mistakes. We will get it figured out.” So why do you tell your friend the truth, but are so critical of yourself? Ask God to help you love yourself as He loves you, with grace and forgiveness. Go right now to the back of your Bible and write down today’s date or the first day of the New Year. Follow it with a personal pledge to be your own best friend, vowing to attempt to only say to yourself positive things that you would tell your best friend under similar circumstances. That one decision alone can make the rest of your life 50% better—or even more in many cases. 5. DANCE WITH THE WORLD IN THE COMING YEAR AND THE YEARS TO COME. God does not call all of us to become a professional, full-time, foreign missionary, but I am in awe of those who have accepted this calling. But whether in a foreign land or talking to a waiter at a local restaurant, we always must be on the lookout to “dance with the world” and spread the love of God. The Great Commission, in Matthew 28:18-20 (encouraging us to go into all the world to spread the gospel of God’s love and redemption), is actually, in the original Greek, in the passive imperative tense. So it is more accurately saying, “As you are going about in the world, spread the good news. . .” God called me specifically to be a full-time missionary, but in the unique platform of a Christian psychiatrist, author, radio host, and teacher. Around a million people have trusted Christ through various Meier Clinic ministries, in scores of nations where my books are translated or where we have gone in one way or another. So you, the reader, can be God’s love letter to the world by supporting, praying for, and assisting missionaries throughout the world, and by being a missionary wherever you are in the world. Used by permission of the author.

This comprehensive study was jointly written by Matt Chandler and Geoff Ashley. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 In the beginning, God reached down into the dust of the earth, formed man and breathed life into him. Man was given the task of ruling and subduing creation as God’s representative, but he was not to do so alone. Thus, the LORD fashioned woman from the man’s side as he slept. Man and woman, created in the image of their Maker, were called to bear fruit and multiply for their joy and the glory of their God. Because of this reality, human life is sacred, and children are a blessing. The sanctity of human life must be the foundation of all conversations on contraception and reproduction. Biblically, life begins at conception and must be protected and preserved even from its earliest stages (Ps. 139:13; Job 10:11, 31:13-15; Gen. 25:22; Luke 1:41). (1) Its value derives primarily from the truth that humans have been instilled with the very image of triune God (Gen. 1:26-27). As those created in His image, humans display the glories of our Creator. Discussions about contraception and reproduction must also take into account the biblical blessing of offspring. Children are to be cherished as good gifts from a gracious God. Problems arise whenever this truth is forgotten or neglected. Some fail to embrace the goodness of the gift of children, instead viewing them as inconvenient. Others fail to remember that children are undeserved blessings that we are not entitled to. Neither disposition of the heart is healthy or right. Where children are neglected, disregarded, abused, idolized or demanded, God’s intention is compromised. As sons and daughters of a good and generous Father, we are called to possess humble and glad hearts that embrace the gifts that He has given and trust Him with those He has not. Opening Clarifications The consideration of contraceptive and reproductive technologies requires wisdom. These are complex ethical matters to which the Scriptures speak but often only in principle and implication. How to build upon and apply the foundational biblical concepts in these areas can often be unclear, but we hope to provide general biblical principles for assessing the various options widely available today. In no way is this resource an exhaustive analysis of each and every ethical concern, but it is rather an overview of relevant contemporary issues. Technological innovation will surely introduce even more options for both contraceptive and reproductive assistance in the future. Though we will not deal explicitly with those unimagined technologies, this resource will lay out general principles and parameters that provide general guidelines for future assessment. A Word to Husbands and Wives (2) If there were ever decisions in marriage that need to be highly collaborative, they are these. Wives will often bear the results of contraceptive and reproductive decisions in their very bodies in a way that husbands will not. The husband therefore has the responsibility to hear, receive and weigh his wife’s thoughts with love and compassion, as you each realize and live out the reality that our bodies are not our own (1 Cor. 7:4). It is also good and necessary to work through these decisions within the context of gospel-centered community. Though past, present and future decisions are weighty and sensitive, you should feel freedom from shame to share your various fears, failures and desires associated with contraceptive and reproductive technologies. God has commanded and provided community for the good of His people and His glory, and we should embrace this blessing by opening our hearts and minds to others. These are not theoretical discussions. They are weighty and sensitive matters with real-life implications. Our desire is that you will hear the heart behind this resource, which is to shepherd our people through a complex and confusing world of technological options. We encourage you to consider this resource with an open heart and mind and in a spirit of prayer. Some of the considerations and conclusions might be convicting based on past or present decisions, but our hope is that these implications would not drive anyone to despair or shame but, rather, to the hope and grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Contraceptive Technologies What is contraception? Before examining contraception, it is helpful to distinguish it from the broader category of birth control. Though often used synonymously with the term birth control, contraception only applies to methods and technologies that are intended to prevent conception. Birth control, on the other hand, refers to everything from abstinence to abortion. Abortion is not a form of contraception because it does not prevent conception but, rather, terminates an already-conceived life. While Christians might debate the various ethical issues of contraceptive use, the Church generally agrees that abortion is prohibited by God. (3) With this distinction in mind, below is a non- exhaustive list of the most common forms of technology widely considered as contraceptives today: Abstinence Rhythm or calendar methods Withdrawal Barrier methods (4) Sterilization (5) Implants and injections The “pill” (6) Morning after pills (7) We will consider these particular contraceptives, not those that are primarily abortive. That said, although not primarily abortive, there is research to strongly suggest that many common contraceptives today have mechanisms with intentionally abortive potential. We will consider these particular forms, and the principles addressed should help create a tool for evaluating other current and future forms of technology. Is it sinful to use contraception? Why or why not? Most forms of contraception available today were not invented by the first century, so we should not be surprised that there is little explicit testimony in the Bible. After a comprehensive examination of Scripture, we do not find universal prohibition of contraception in general. Yet, throughout its history, the Church has generally opposed the practice based on biblical and theological arguments. A brief overview of the biblical arguments There are four primary passages often used to prohibit birth control, but further examination exposes the weakness of the arguments. Genesis 38:8-10 refers to a man named Onan who is said to have “wasted his seed.” Some believe the passage teaches that the act of withdrawal is sinful. However, this explanation is not ultimately satisfying because the concern is not the act of withdrawal but rather Onan’s unwillingness to fulfill his duties to his brother’s wife (an admittedly foreign practice to our modern opinions and one which is no longer to be seen as a binding familial obligation on this side of the cross). (8) Genesis 1:28 commands mankind to “be fruitful and multiply.” Though certainly normative, this prescription should not be taken as a universal mandate for a couple of reasons. First, many men and women are physically unable to bear children, and this failure should not be assessed as sinful. Second, the Scriptures uphold a high esteem for intentional singleness in passages such as 1 Corinthians 7. Deuteronomy 23:1 and other passages prohibit the entrance of eunuchs into the congregation of Israel, a restriction that seemingly implies that those who are unable or unwilling to procreate are forbidden from the kingdom. Christ’s clear commendation of eunuchs (Matt. 19:12) and the aforementioned high view of singleness, however, clarifies that this Old Testament restriction is not universally binding and should not be taken to imply that procreation is always mandated. Psalm 127:3-5 exalts children as a gift from the Lord and commends the one whose “quiver is full.” This passage is taken by some to imply that any effort to control the size of a family is sinful. But just because something is a gift doesn’t mean that we don’t choose to steward that gift for the kingdom. For example, a godly spouse is a blessed gift from the Lord (Prov. 18:22), yet Paul explicitly states that it is acceptable and commendable to remain single for the sake of the kingdom (1 Cor. 7). (9) A brief overview of the historical argument In addition to the misapplication of Scripture, many have historically compromised the issue of birth control through a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature and purpose of sex. While marital sex was originally created by God (Gen. 2:18-25) to be received with thanksgiving (1 Tim. 4:3), errant voices in history gradually ignored the biblical picture of sex as a good and gracious gift to be embraced within the confines of marriage. In place of this beautiful portrait, many in the Church have exalted a life of chastity and singleness as the ultimate ideal. To such thinking, sex is acceptable but not commendable and then solely or at least primarily for the purpose of procreation. This historic view of sex as a necessary evil has been generally corrected, yet its residue has led a number of traditions to dismiss contraception entirely. After all, if sex were limited entirely to the purpose of procreation, then efforts to eliminate conception would surely be improper. The Bible, however, makes no such statement about sex being entirely or even principally limited to the purpose of procreation. Procreation is a primary purpose, but it is biblically indefensible to restrict the gift to procreation. Rather, marital companionship, unity, pleasure and defense against lust all add to a more robust understanding of God’s diverse intentions for sex. (10) Summary In the absence of clear biblical prohibitions, there seems to be no universal restriction on contraception. Therefore, we should ask some diagnostic questions in assessing the question of permissibility to help develop a healthy understanding of contraception. First, what is the underlying motive of the heart in using contraception? Second, do all forms uphold and honor the sanctity of human life? Is contraception always wise, appropriate and good? Behind each action or decision is a controlling desire, so before considering contraception, it is helpful to ask why it is desired. Biblically, children are to be viewed as a gift from the Lord. So if your pursuit of birth control is motivated by fear, greed or lust for comfort and convenience, these heart issues need to be exposed and confessed. Theologian Al Mohler provides some wise guidance in this area: We must start with a rejection of the contraceptive mentality that sees pregnancy and children as impositions to be avoided rather than as gifts to be received, loved, and nurtured. This contraceptive mentality is an insidious attack upon God’s glory in creation, and the Creator’s gift of procreation to the married couple. (11) There are potentially acceptable reasons for pursuing contraception. However, it is unwise to blindly commend the technology without first questioning the motivation of the heart. Without condemning contraception itself, Christians should confront the particular “contraceptive mentality” which masks subtle forms of idolatry by plumbing the desires of the heart. Even more, all believers wrestling with these issues should feel a tension between the desire to bear children and a call to steward the gifts and opportunities that they are given for the sake of the kingdom. Though technological advancement is a gift of common grace, it might also foster a subtle desire to play God. Given these concerns, we commend prayer and counsel to any couple considering the use of contraceptives. If contraception is not universally sinful, which kinds are permissible? Called to steward our bodies and safeguard the sanctity of human life, Christians have a responsibility to know the effects and potential effects of all forms of contraception they may use. As a general rule, contraceptives that absolutely honor and uphold the sanctity of human life are acceptable, while those that do not are not acceptable. The fundamental question that must be answered then is whether a particular form of birth control functions purely as a contraceptive or whether it has abortive intention or potential. If a particular method terminates or potentially terminates life, (12) we must be concerned. Methods that do not terminate or potentially terminate life Abstinence, rhythm, calendar and barrier methods seem to be appropriate methods within the confines of a marital relationship, assuming proper motives. Within certain parameters, there also does not seem to be compelling evidence for prohibiting some forms of sterilization. (13) Methods that are intended to terminate life Surgical and chemical abortions and some morning after pills (see footnote 7) are intentionally abortifacient (purposefully abortive) and should then be universally rejected. (14) Methods that have the inherent potential to terminate life There exists a great deal of debate regarding the potential effects of birth control pills, injections and IUDs. (15) The final mechanisms of all three forms of control are similar, and thus the concerns are the same (as would be the case with any other present or future technology with the same capability). (16) How do some forms of contraception potentially terminate human life? Currently, the latest medical research suggests that all of the various types and brands of birth control pills available today function similarly with potentially abortive effects. (17) They each have three basic mechanisms of action. (18) The first mechanism is primary, while the last two are backup mechanisms in case the first fails. The three functions are: To prevent ovulation. To thicken cervical fluid, impeding the progress of sperm. To weaken the uterine lining. The first two mechanisms are purely contraceptive in nature, but the final is potentially and purposefully abortive. Its function, should the first two mechanisms fail, is to create an environment less conducive to the survival of a fertilized egg. (19) By weakening the wall of the endometrium, the mucus membrane that lines the uterus, a fertilized egg is less likely to attach and is more likely to be aborted. As with the other mechanisms, there is a possibility that this third action too will fail, and the egg will implant, but the point remains that the very intent of the mechanism is to make the environment hostile for an already-conceived child. This function of the pill, as well as injections and IUDs, is ethically and theologically concerning. Though not intentionally or maliciously attempting to abort a child, those who use such forms of control risk an early, spontaneous abortion. How should we assess this potential termination of life? Most Christian couples who decide to use birth control pills, injections or IUDs do so completely unaware of the abortive potential. Their intention is certainly not to terminate life. They often have good intentions, yet they are uninformed of the potential dangers. However, with knowledge of these risks comes greater accountability and responsibility. We hope that couples will process through these concerns with hearts and minds saturated by the gospel of Jesus Christ. Though this information may produce godly sorrow and conviction, there is absolutely no condemnation to be found in Christ. We encourage all to pursue the freedom offered in the gospel within the context of gospel-centered community. With this hope in mind, we ask: To what degree are we bound by potential but unintentional effects? Biblically, there seems to be a spectrum of responsibility when it comes to the taking of life. (20) On the one end, there is an intentional and premeditated act that constitutes murder. On the other end, there is a completely accidental occurrence. Between these two ends, there is the unintentional yet irresponsible loss of life (Ex. 21:12-14). Though the penalties for intentional and irresponsible acts differ, they are both viewed negatively in the Scriptures, just as they are in our culture. For example, a parent who intentionally murders their child is punished more harshly than a parent who fails to buckle their child into a car seat, but both acts of intention or negligence are punishable by law. Even more to point, there is a distinction between a woman who willingly aborts her child and a woman who, despite knowing the inherent risks, continues to smoke and drink heavily during pregnancy. There is a difference between the two cases, yet both bear obvious responsibility and guilt in regard to their actions. Given the clear biblical and moral responsibility that accompanies knowledge, it is unwise, if not explicitly sinful, to continue using potentially abortive forms of birth control once a person is made aware of the possibilities inherent to the technology. (21) Summary On the one hand, it seems biblically permissible to consider and use various contraceptives as long as the particular form places a high value on the sanctity of human life. Assuming motive has been addressed, Christian couples may use rhythm and calendar methods, barriers, non-abortive forms of sterilization and short periods of intentional abstinence for the sake of stewarding the gifts that God gives for the sake of the kingdom. On the other hand, certain forms of birth control are not truly or solely contraceptive; they are potentially abortive. Though The Village will not explicitly prohibit or police the use of the pill, injections, IUDs and other forms of potentially abortive birth control, we strongly encourage our members and attendees to prayerfully consider their abortive risks and to talk to their doctor. We hope that you will consider using one or more of the more life-honoring forms of prevention or at least consider using supplemental contraceptives to greatly lessen or even entirely eliminate potential abortive risk. (22) The probable benefits of family planning are not worth the potential loss of human lives bearing the image of our great God. Medical technology is changing at such a drastic rate that the specific conclusions of this resource might become outdated in the near future. New forms of contraception will be invented, and existing forms will be updated. Some of these forms will honor and protect life, while others will not. Regardless of these changes, the general principle for assessing all present and future forms remains unchanged. The sanctity of human life and the belief that life begins with conception abide as our litmus test, thus any contraceptives with abortive potential are to be avoided if not supplemented by other non-abortive forms of contraception. Again, we understand that these conclusions might be difficult to process, especially for those who have unwittingly used the pill or other contraceptives with similar potential in the past. It is unfortunate that misinformation has plagued this topic, but there is great hope moving forward in the light of the gospel. In Christ there is no condemnation or shame, but grace and love from the Author of both life and forgiveness. Reproductive Technologies The inability to have children is a difficult reality for many in the church today. Countless couples walk this dark road with fear, sorrow, confusion, anger, bitterness and unfounded shame. Though children are a gift and reward from the Lord (Ps. 127:3), the inability to have children does not mean God is punishing you. The Lord is good and gracious toward His children, even in seasons of infertility. This struggle is also not just a modern phenomenon. Looking at the history of redemption in the Bible, we see that many of the matriarchs of our faith – Sarah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth, to name a few – walked through similar seasons of sadness. But, still, how should believers respond to infertility? Historically, there have been few options: prayer, fasting, waiting and adoption. However, with the various scientific advancements of the twentieth century, there are many more options. Although some believers remain skeptical of science and commend only prayer and patience, God has given man the capacity for innovation and creativity, providing us the opportunity to utilize medical intervention to the extent that it does not violate other principles of Scripture. That said, the posture of the heart and the sanctity of human life should be the predominant criteria by which this technology is assessed. What is artificial reproductive technology? Defining artificial reproductive technology (ART) can be difficult. By formal definition, ART is restricted to technologies in which both sperm and egg are manipulated. Hormonal therapies and artificial insemination are, therefore, not technically considered ART as only sperm or egg is manipulated rather than both. However, using a more general definition, ART can be applied to any method used to induce pregnancy by artificial or partially artificial means. Using this general definition, below is a non-exhaustive list of the most common forms available today: Hormonal therapies Intrauterine insemination (IUI) or artificial insemination (AI) Gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT) or zygote intrafallopian transfer (ZIFT) In vitro fertilization (IVF) Surrogacy Is it sinful to use reproductive technologies? The various forms of artificial reproductive technology available today were not yet invented by the first century, so we should not be surprised to find little explicit testimony in the Bible. The whole of Scripture nowhere universally forbids, in principle, the use of reproductive technology. Thus, we must ask some diagnostic questions to develop a healthy understanding of artificial reproductive technologies. First, what is the underlying motive of the heart in using ART? Second, do all forms of ART uphold and honor the sanctity of human life? Is Artificial Reproductive Technology always wise, appropriate and good? It is certainly true that having a child from your own body is an exceedingly good gift from the Lord and one of the highest blessings of this life. From the beginning, God hardwired humanity with the desire and command to “be fruitful and multiply.” However, sin consists of turning good things into ultimate things. This tendency is a danger when it comes to childbearing. Bearing a child is one of the highest privileges that a couple can be granted, yet it is not the greatest privilege. While the desire to have and raise genetically related children is grounded in the created norms and cemented in God’s imperative to “be fruitful and multiply,” it is nonetheless important not to place one’s hope or sense of worth too greatly on one’s ability to have children. The final hope of the Christian does not lie in the ability to manipulate human reproductive systems or in the ability to have children at all…our ultimate hope lies not in our ability to have children but rather in our Savior Jesus Christ. (23) We are not implying that a couple seeking reproductive assistance is doing so from an idolatrous heart, but we are exhorting couples who are wrestling with this sensitive subject to lay themselves and their desires before the Father from whom all good gifts flow (James 1:17) and by whom all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28). A Word about Adoption Though we cannot give the subject the attention it deserves, adoption is a legitimate and explicitly biblical means to pursue the call to commend God’s works to the next generation. The act of adoption mirrors the heart of our heavenly Father who not only justifies His people but also calls us His sons and daughters. Though not an exact substitute for bearing your own biological children, adoption is a good and godly pursuit and should be prayerfully considered as an opportunity to advance the kingdom. (24) If Scripture does not universally prohibit the use of reproductive technologies, which kinds are permissible? The crucial issue is the sanctity of human life. As a basic rule, forms or types of ART that honor and uphold the sanctity of human life are acceptable, while those that do not are not acceptable. Therefore, the fundamental question is whether or not a particular form of reproductive technology terminates or potentially terminates human life. (25) Technologies that do not terminate or potentially terminate human life AI, GIFT and ZIFT all primarily involve creating an environment more conducive to conception and implantation and do not require the destruction of any human life. The only potential problem with these methods is the use of egg or sperm from another source other than the spouse. On this particular issue, there is no concrete prohibition, though some would say the use of “genetic material (donor egg, donor sperm, donor DNA) from someone other than the husband or wife” leads to “considerable doubt with regard to the morality of such a practice.” (26) This same concern would also be voiced regarding the issue of surrogacy, but again the issue is ethically complex, so we encourage prayer, wise counsel and discernment. (27) Technologies that are intended to terminate human life or have the reasonable potential to do so Since the point of reproductive technology is to conceive life, there are no methods that are primarily intended to terminate it. However, at least one current technology can potentially do so. Though other technologies, present and future, might pose similar risks, we will consider the most widely used method of this time: in vitro fertilization (IVF). How does IVF potentially terminate human life? IVF simply involves fertilization of an egg to create an embryo in an artificial environment (in vitro literally means “in glass” referring to the petri dish or test tube in which conception occurs), making the practice appear morally permissible. However, there are certain advantages to creating not just one but multiple embryos at a time, which can result in two theological dilemmas. First, we must ask what will become of those embryos that are not ultimately implanted. Are they frozen for later use, frozen and simply forgotten, or destroyed in the process of research? These are important questions, and those who use the technology bear a burden for responsible and loving concern for these embryos. An embryo is a fertilized egg that represents the beginning of human life. Destruction or neglect of human life, even in such early stages, is immoral. Second, the woman often has up to four embryos implanted within her at a time. What will she do if all four embryos implant? Abortion, or “fetal reduction” as it is called, is simply not a permissible Christian option, and the body often cannot support the implantation of numerous embryos. In general, it is helpful to think of this issue through the lens of two questions: How many embryos do you desire to carry to term and care for? How many embryos can you reasonably expect your body to support? IVF would not necessarily pose moral dilemmas if it were as simple as fertilizing one egg with one sperm from a husband and implanting one embryo in his wife, the mother-to-be. IVF poses grave ethical problems, at least for prolife Christians, when it involves creating multiple embryos, destroying some of those embryos because of possible birth defects, or indulging in “fetal reduction” (destroying some developing children after they are returned to a woman’s body). (28) Summary It seems biblically permissible to consider and use various forms of artificial reproductive technology as long as the particular technology places a high value on the sanctity of human life. Assuming motive has been addressed, it seems acceptable for Christian couples to use hormonal therapies, intrauterine insemination, artificial insemination, gamete intrafallopian transfer or zygote intrafallopian transfer. Use of IVF itself is acceptable within the bounds previously addressed. As stewards of God’s gifts, we have a responsibility to address the various concerns associated with ART and respond accordingly. The Village will not explicitly prohibit or police the use of reproductive technologies by members and attendees. (29) However, we encourage prayer, counsel and wisdom as you think through these issues. While the Bible does not speak explicitly to the diverse complexities of medical technology, there are biblical principles to which we are subject. Our glad and trusting submission to God’s Word is our greatest good, regardless of the temporary sorrow and pain that might accompany such obedience. The field of artificial reproductive technology is constantly expanding, thus believers need a general principle for assessing such medical advances. The sanctity of human life and the belief that life begins at conception abide as the foundation for future evaluation. Forms of reproductive technology with abortive intention or potential should be avoided for the glory of God and the preservation of human life in His image. These conclusions might be difficult to process, especially for those who have personal experience with such reproductive technology. It is unfortunate that misinformation has plagued this topic, but there is great hope moving forward in the light of the gospel. In Christ there is no condemnation or shame, but grace and love from the Author of both life and forgiveness. A final word to husbands and wives The conversation on artificial reproductive technologies is not abstractly philosophical but, instead, represents a very real and raw reality for many in the church today. We want those who are walking through the wilderness of infertility, pain of child loss or shame surrounding past decisions to know that they are loved. We encourage those in such seasons to pray, fast, wait and hope in the midst of gospel-centered community. We commend our Home Groups and Recovery Groups as spheres in which the grace and mercy of the gospel can be experienced and embraced. Conclusion Ethical issues of medical technology can be confusing and at times frustrating. Christians nevertheless bear a responsibility to think biblically about all areas of life. The Scriptures are to be the ultimate authority and final judge on all things, as they represent the clear and consistent Word of our great God. He has spoken and, in His speaking, has declared the sanctity of human life. As those created in His image and redeemed through the gospel, we bear a particular responsibility to agree with His assessment of life and to conform our lives accordingly for our greatest good. This call demands some degree of familiarity with potential effects of the various forms of medical technology that we might use. In light of this reality, convenience, comfort and covetousness are not the lenses through which we are to evaluate medicine and science. Rather, our charge is to assess the use of contraceptive and reproductive technologies on the basis of the preservation and protection of human life. Forms that truly uphold and honor the sanctity of life for the glory of God are acceptable, while those that do not are not. Our God is good, and He has given us life in both creation and redemption. Let us be wise and faithful stewards of the gifts that He gives and trust Him even when inconvenient, uncomfortable and painful. © 2013 The Village Church. All rights reserved. Recommended Resources God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger with David Jones Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions by Randy Alcorn When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility by Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Footnotes 1 For an explanation and defense of the “life begins at conception” position, consider The Case for Life by Scott Klusendorf or the chapter entitled “Abortion is About God” in For the Fame of God’s Name by Sam Storms and Justin Taylor. 2 See “Sexual Immorality in the Scriptures” on The Village Church website for further explanation on God’s design for all sexual activity to be limited to a monogamous marriage between one man and one woman. We also understand that many single mothers and fathers and widows and widowers will use this resource, and our hope is that they too will be edified and encouraged. 3 See “Is Abortion Sinful?” on The Village Church website for further explanation and defense of this statement. As mentioned in the resource, the one possible exception to this general prohibition of abortion is when the life of mother or another child is at stake. 4 This includes such devices as diaphragms, cervical caps and condoms. 5 This is a broad category including hysterectomy, vasectomy, tube tying, ablation, etc. 6 There is in actuality not simply one “pill,” but multiple types and dozens of brands. As all forms available today have similar functions, they will be considered together, and we will simply refer to the pill in the singular. 7 There are various types of “morning after” pills. Some function similarly to “the pill” and should thus be assessed along with that technology. Others, in particular RU-486, are primarily abortive in nature. 8 See “Christian Responsibility and Mosaic Law” on The Village Church website for more on the application of Old Testament law today. 9 See “Does the Bible Permit Birth Control?” on the Desiring God website for a more developed defense against the claim that believers are mandated to have as many children as possible. 10 See the “Biblical Sex” blog series on The Village Church website for further description of the divine designs for sex. 11 “Can Christians Use Birth Control?” on Albertmohler.com 12 It is our biblical conviction that life begins at conception. For further explanation and defense of this position, consider the resources mentioned in footnote 1. 13 An exception in this case might be ablation, which involves the burning of the uterine lining, which then creates a permanently hostile environment for fertilized eggs. Though there are benefits of this technology for conditions such as endometriosis, couples should consider the fact that ablation does not actually prevent conception but instead prevents implantation of an already-conceived life and is thus potentially abortive. Therefore, we encourage supplemental forms of contraceptive in order to greatly lessen if not entirely eliminate the risk of an early abortion. 14 The one possible (though disputed) exception to this universal prohibition would be when the life of mother or child is at stake, as mentioned in footnote 4. Even in this case, the ultimate concern is for the preservation of human life. 15 An intrauterine device (IUD) is an instrument placed within the uterus as a form of birth control. 16 Although there is some disagreement among doctors and scientists over this third mechanism and thus the abortive potential of the pill, research strongly suggests that the pill (and similar contraceptives) does indeed contribute to a thinned endometrial lining, creating a hostile environment which is much less conducive to the implantation of an embryo. 17 The treatment of this issue is necessarily brief for the purposes of this resource. For a comprehensive defense of these assertions, see “Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?” by Randy Alcorn as well as Chapter 7 of God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger. Both sources contain not only helpful theological consideration but also carefully researched medical references. 18 Though not necessarily included in the large print on prescriptions, these three functions are included in the more exhaustive information contained in a Physician’s Desk Reference. 19 Historically and biblically, the Church has considered the fertilization of an egg to constitute the beginning of human life. See related passages referenced in the introduction to this resource and recommended resources listed in footnote 1. 20 In reality, the topic is probably not best represented as a linear spectrum since a comprehensive discussion would also include evangelically debated topics such as capital punishment and warfare. 21 Obviously, this would not be the case for a non-sexually active woman who is taking the pill for reasons other than contraception. As for married women taking the pill for non-contraceptive purposes, the use of a supplemental form of contraceptive would be encouraged (as in the case of ablation discussed previously). Even then, couples should carefully consider that it is possible for those other methods and mechanisms to fail, potentially causing a spontaneous abortion. 22 Given the constant rate of technological advancement and the scope and size of The Village, it is impractical if not impossible to oversee and assess all contraceptive use. Our hope is that our members and attendees would process through the strong concerns outlined in this resource within the context of gospel-centered community and respond appropriately. That said, as questions, circumstances and concerns arise, we will still engage pastorally for the good of the individuals involved and the health of the church body to the glory of God. 23 God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger, chapter 7. 24 Helpful resources on adoption can be found in Adopted for Life by Russell Moore and on the Desiring God and Together for Adoption websites. 25 Again, it is our biblical conviction that life begins at conception. For further explanation and defense of this position, consider the resources mentioned in footnote 1. 26 Kostenberger, chapter 7. 27 On the issue of surrogacy, it might also be noted that the common practice of receiving financial compensation for being a surrogate beyond common medical bills could be potentially concerning. In general, the elders and pastors of The Village would strongly encourage any of our members or regular attendees who are considering surrogacy to talk to us about the various concerns associated with this option. 28 “From Souls on Ice,” Christianity Today, July 2003 29 Given the constant rate of technological advancement and the scope and size of The Village, it is impractical if not impossible to oversee and assess all such use. Our hope is that our members and regular attendees would process through the strong concerns outlined in this paper within the context of gospel-centered community and respond appropriately. That said, as questions, circumstances and concerns arise, we will still engage pastorally for the good of the individuals involved and the health of the church body to the glory of God.

My weight tends to fluctuate by about 20 pounds. That’s not an issue though because I’m a 6’8” linebacker in the NFL and you can barely tell. (Most of the extra weight goes to my biceps.) Oh wait, that’s not right. I’m an average-height writer of non-fiction books. What usually happens is that during the winter, I find a few extra pounds around the house. I eat richer foods, focus on cheese consumption and emerge from the cold weather looking like I’m wearing a sweater when I’m really not. When you gain weight and decide to lose it, you experience the 5 stages of hating your diet. 1. Denial I don’t need to lose weight. These pants have just shrunk. That’s all. That mirror has a weird shape, like, it has a “fat bend.” The batteries on the scale must be dying. It’s a posture thing. I need to stand straighter. A lot of it is muscle weight, probably. What does that word even mean, “diet?” Instead of focusing on my health, I’m going to just learn to accept myself. I am beautiful no matter what you say! Hear me roar. Like a firework or whatever. 2. Anger This is so stupid! I promised myself last time that I would not gain those pounds again! Remember? I did the Carlton dance from the Fresh Prince when I hit my target weight? I was so happy! And now those stupid pounds are back. It’s not my fault! It’s the world we live in. There are a lot more products with funnels and centers now. I can’t help it that I am growing up in the golden age of ice cream having a solid center of caramel. That’s so unfair! 3. Bargaining What if I run more? What about burpees? I see fit people always doing those on Instagram. How about that? I will work out like a maniac but still not change my diet at all. What do you say? You let me keep queso and I’ll start running all the time. I’ll commute to work via foot. I’ll get a fitbit and bit so hard! How about that? Or, I’ll eat really well but never exercise. I’ll even have kale, which tastes like wet sadness. Do we have a deal? No whammy! 4. Depression My body hates me. How come fat never goes anywhere cool on your body? I’m just going to buy more sweaters. Bigger sweaters. I’m going to find out who sold all those pajamas that look like jeans in the Sky Mall catalog and wear those. Those things get me. Pajama pants are my friend. I am the Charlie Brown of diets. Good grief! 5. Acceptance Fine! I’ll do it. I’ll get back on the bike and back on my healthy eating plan. I won’t keep pop tarts in the house because me and pop tarts are like Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Undeniable. And I won’t put off starting. I’ll start today. As in right now. I’m in. I didn’t exaggerate once during this post. If any of that sounds familiar and you’re about to make a New Year’s Resolution to get in shape, join me and a few hundred people on a new adventure. I’ve taken thousands of people through the 30 Days of Hustle. It’s a 30-day video course that teaches you how to make better goals and get better results. Like pants with buttons that aren’t under so much pressure they might pop off and kill a man. Screw burpees and shame. It’s time to get goaling! That felt like too much at the end, but I couldn’t resist.

A young mother whose son was killed in a fire started by outdoor Christmas lights expressed her fear of the upcoming first Christmas following his death. She did not have the energy to carry on as usual, and she was getting messages from the family that they expected her to do just that. Through grief support, she was able to adapt her holidays to fit her and her surviving child’s needs. She needed permission to change the routine because she felt the old routine would be too painful. She chose to go away for the holidays and reported a surprising success of getting through them. She also gained hope that one day she might be able to enjoy the holidays again because she felt empowered to be in control of how she celebrated, if she celebrated. Following the death of a loved one, there are many firsts. One of the most difficult firsts can be the holidays. The following are some thoughts on how to help your family cope through the holiday season. CARING FOR GRIEVING CHILDREN Prepare children for changes in routine. It is perfectly acceptable to make changes in holiday routines, perhaps even preferable, but remember to prepare children well in advance for changes to holiday traditions. Include children and teens in planning. A family meeting to decide what changes will be appropriate for celebrating the holidays can alleviate a child’s feeling of being left out. If a child appears to need extra reassurance during the holidays, remember they may have feelings of sadness, guilt, etc. that they are struggling with. Children may “regress” (find comfort in earlier behaviors) during the stress of the holidays. Children need opportunities to express their feelings and fears. Plan a ritual for remembering your loved one around the holiday season. Plan some extra time to spend one on one with your children during the holidays. Don’t let the world dictate your schedule. CARING FOR YOURSELF You are the best person to know what you need to care for yourself. Be kinder to yourself than you have ever been during the holiday season. There is no right or wrong way to grieve OR to spend the holidays. Choose activities or solitude based on your needs. Watch out for over-commitment during the holidays. Say “no.” Treat yourself. Give yourself credit for accomplishing the “firsts” as they come along. Be with people you want to spend time with. Say “no” to those you feel would need more energy than you have to give. REMEMBER YOUR LOVED ONE Buy a gift for your loved one. Give it to someone who needs it. You will receive twice the pleasure. (This may be too difficult for someone whose loss is recent.) Donate money to a special cause in your loved one’s name or volunteer your time and/or talents. Contribute a poinsettia to your church sanctuary (or to a local nursing home or school) in your loved one’s name. Talk about the deceased with those you are comfortable sharing. Plan a time for remembering. Set a place for them at the table, hang a stocking, retell stories of them. ANNIVERSARY DATES An anniversary of the death of a loved one can cause anxiety and stress, which are normal grief reactions. Give yourself permission to feel your own feelings about the day and plan how you want to spend your time. Remember that anticipation is sometimes worse than going through the actual day. Don’t allow others to dictate the extent to which you observe the day. GriefWorks is a free grief support group program for children ages five to eighteen that have experienced the death of someone close to them. Love Never Dies is a faith-based support group for adults who are grieving.