We’re starting Capital Stewardship Campaign soon. In process of starting the campaign up, I pulled together a Stewardship team. I intentionally tried to bring an eclectic group together: some with people skills, other with administrative skills, others with fundraising experience. The first meeting was fascinating. The few individuals I had invited because of their people skills (they had no fundraising background) were baffled as to why they were there. Over the course of the meeting, the three of them echoed the same sentiment, “Pastor, we trust you that you brought us here, but we’re not sure why. We don’t really have anything to offer the group.” Oh, but they did! Let me shove forward with a final set of suggestions for leading volunteers: 1) Hand-pick your volunteers: having people respond to announcements for volunteer opportunities is a necessary evil. Because of the sheer number of volunteers you require and the fact you won’t know everyone at your church, you need to get volunteers from these blanket announcements. But you won’t get any better volunteers than the ones you hand pick. It can take an inordinate amount of time to call and email people and ask them one-on-one to volunteer. However, you will be blessed many times over by doing so. Those folks on our Stewardship Team that I hand-picked because of their people and networking skills are really the heart and soul of the team. They may not have the know-how when it comes to the nuts and bolts of decision making, but they are, undoubtedly, the engine that makes the team run. I have no doubt you will find this to be the case time and time again in your ministries. 2) Construct teams: this is related to the first piece of advice. It is important that your volunteers aren’t on an island and that you don’t have to provide personal direction for each of your volunteers. Implement a team structure where volunteers can meet, share with one another, encourage one another, and mutually strengthen each other with their different spiritual gifts. 3) Provide care: don’t treat your volunteers like employees. They need and want your pastoral care. Take time to check in with them, encourage them through phone calls, emails, and hand-written letters of thanks. Pray with them. 4) Let them make mistakes: don’t micromanage your volunteers. Spend the time training your volunteers and then let loose to minister. One parting piece of advice for leaders: don’t ever be the reason that things don’t work. There will be ministries that run their course and will die. That is to be expected and natural in the life of any ministry. Just don’t be the reason that viable ministries die. There are innumerable reasons you can be the reason that ministries die: laziness, improper prioritization, or a lack of personal care. Don’t let that be the case.

For the Buddhist I want to look at “The Seen and Unseen World of Merit and Rebirth.” Rebirth and Merit are two important concepts in the Buddhist way of life. The two are intimately attached. Under Buddhism a person tries to end the suffering of rebirth by attaining merit through good works. In Buddhism merit is “the fruit of good actions which can be devoted to the welfare of other beings.” (1) As one accumulates merit he or she expects to attain a higher state of enlightenment through a more desirable rebirth that gets him or her closer to the goal of nirvana. This concept sounds simple enough. Do good works and be rewarded. Yet there is a catch that many Buddhist, perhaps even you have experienced. How do you know when your good thoughts, feelings, and actions outweigh your bad ones? How can you know if your merits toward rebirth really outweigh your demerits? Many Buddhists have great private struggles with their merit and demerit, and for very practical reasons. They simply cannot remember all of their good deeds and bad deeds. The answer for many Buddhists has been to dedicate themselves more fully to the Buddhist way of life—meditations, visiting monasteries, making gifts, attending teachings, and performing rituals. Out of a fear of suffering and imperfection they try to do more in hopes of earning a better rebirth. Rebirth, in this sense, is a form of punishment—in other words, a form of justice. But is the rebirth concept practical, possible, or even just? In looking for an answer let’s use an example from author M. Tsering, to illustrate the injustice of the Buddhist philosophy of karma (merit and rebirth). “Dawa is a Buddhist who is serious about her religious life. She tries to gain merit for her next rebirth by practicing meditation, giving generously to the local monks, and being kind to animals. But like all people, Dawa occasionally does things she knows aren’t right. How will the law of karma work in her life? First of all, Dawa’s good works will earn her a certain amount of merit., and her faults will earn a certain amount of demerit. But even Dawa’s slightest fault will earn far more demerit than her good works earn merit, because the system is set up to work that way. When Dawa takes tock of her merits and demerits, she finds that even though her good actions outnumber her bad ones, the demerit built up by her faults outweighs the merit built up by her good works. “Anxious about this, she tries to make more merit. Because Dawa can “sin” without knowing it, but can only make merit when she consciously tries to, her demerits accumulate at a faster rate than her merits. In this way Dawa accumulates a colossal load of karmic debt that she can never repay. Now suppose that Dawa dies. Because of her demerits, she is reborn as a beggar girl named Mingma who is abandoned in the street. But Mingma cannot remember her former life as Dawa. She has no idea why she is suffering from hunger, cold, and abuse. Even worse, in her unhappy new life as Mingma she accumulates new sins. Mingma’s poverty prevents her from making merit through religious ceremonies and expensive gifts to the monasteries. Awash in a sea of karmic debt, Mingma becomes a living illustration of Milarepa’s proverb, ‘Religion is forbidden to the poor.’ The story of Dawa and Mingma shows why rebirth and karma can never reward good actions or punish bad ones. Since people’s personalities perish at death and only an impersonal life force is reborn, no one ever suffers for their own sins. Mingma suffered because of the sins of Dawa, shom she had never met. This is not justice, but pointless misery.” (2) Is Rebirth Real? That is a question every Buddhist or Buddhist-leaning person should explore. After all, if you can’t substantiate that there is a significant chance rebirth is even real, then the whole Buddhist system would fall apart. Every religious system, even Buddhism, advances the idea that it holds the proper perspective on life, death, and eternity. So, is rebirth an actual fact? Does it happen? How can we know? In fact, not even the Buddha, the one who taught the concept of merit and rebirth, was even sure rebirth existed! A Buddhist may “have belief in these principles, [but] not direct knowledge of their reality…In one early text (M.I.403) the Buddha says that to believe in these principles, and so live a moral life, will lead to a good rebirth if rebirth exists.” (3) How could the Buddha say these things lead to a good rebirth if the existence of rebirth is not a surety? He can’t! Doing so would be nothing more than supposition, at best, a guess. It’s no wonder that many Buddhist struggle with the ideas of merit and rebirth when their efficacy and reality is so uncertain! Is rebirth real? In fact, there is no real world evidence that rebirth is a reality of existence. To be sure, there are some people who claim to remember past lives. However, claims are not evidences. The Buddhist system is, in point of fact, set up the way author M. Tsering claims. A person is not supposed to remember a so-called past life since the personality dies and only an impersonal life force is rebirthed. According to one Buddhist author, “Even the most accomplished lamas cannot remember their own past lives.” (4) Consider, from what you have just read, what the Buddhist practitioner puts his faith in: · An ethereal system its founder could not prove existed, · A system without evidence for its existence in the real world, and · A system designed to withdraw a person from the real world in favor of what is unproven. Where are you putting your faith? How Does One Break the Cycle of Suffering? The reality offered by Jesus Christ is far different than that which is taught by Buddhism. In contrast to the Buddhist concept of merit and rebirth, Jesus Christ taught redemption and resurrection. Contrary to Buddhism’s ideas of merit and demerit, Jesus presented a much simpler solution: redemption. Instead of having to worry about whether we have enough merits to outweigh our demerits (sin), the Bible teaches that Jesus’ death on our behalf paid for our demerits (sin), wiping our spiritual slate completely clean. The scripture notes that God, “Delivered us from darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:14). Elsewhere the Bible also notes: “God, in his gracious kindness, declares us not guilty. He has done this through Jesus Christ, who has freed us by taking away our sin” (Romans 3:24 New Living Translation). What a tremendous difference this is from the burden of having to make up for demerits by laboriously trying to gain good merit, never being sure of the outcome. Just as Buddhism makes (unverifiable) claims that karma is efficacious. So too the Bible makes claims—but with a significant difference. The Bible is a written record of eyewitness accounts that Jesus’ claims are true in the real world, as well as the one to come. The Apostle John said, “What we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and our hands have touched…and we have seen and testify and announce to you too…” (I John 1:1-2). What was announced? That Jesus’ death for us is sufficient to pay the debt of sin we have incurred. His resurrection is the evidence of payment for sin that is efficacious in a way that the karmic system is not. Jesus said of himself, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even if he dies” (John 11:25). Did Jesus really rise from the dead. What kind of real world evidence was there for such a claim? Resurrection, after all, is not a philosophy, point of view, or ritual. The claim of Jesus’ resurrection is based on evidences of eyewitnesses in the real world. “We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty” (II Peter 1:16). “Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, and he was buried and he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures, and he appeared to Cephas then to the twelve. Then He appeared to more than 500 of the brothers and sisters at one time…” (I Corinthians 15:3-6). Under Jesus Christ you will not be held to account for the sin of another in some past life, for Jesus has paid the penalty for all of our sins, for all time, for all who believe in Him.

I am sure we have all been asked, or pondered the question on our own, “What would you do differently, if you knew you only had 6 months to live?” A truly contented person might respond, “Nothing, I’m already doing what I would do under those circumstances.” But then there are the rest of us. How I respond to that question probably reveals the internal conflict that rages inside me between selfishness and selflessness. Even my most “spiritual” responses would probably be tinged with a little selfishness – doing good things to bulk-up my heavenly savings account, or wanting to be remembered positively. “What would you do differently if you knew you were going to live forever?” It’s like the senior who quips, “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would’ve taken better care of myself!” Living life for the long run might, at first glance, appears to be inconsistent with burning brightly to win the sprint. But, in a thoroughly integrated world-view, the answer to both questions might be the same. The writer of Hebrews says: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebr. 12:1-2) Nowhere in this passage does it state whether the race is a sprint or a marathon. In fact, I know not if the race before me is a sprint or a marathon. Never-the-less, I need to run it in the same way, with the same world view. The passage tells me what kind of world-view I need to finish strong. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith… Jesus must be at the center of my world-view. Only then am I going to run the race successfully. He is the finish line, and by keeping my focus upon Him, I will stay on course and not be distracted from the task at hand. Only then will I be able to …throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles… I often forget that there is an adversary that would love to see me fail, and so rob God of the glory He intends to reveal in me. The enemy will throw enticements into my path to distract my attention, or obstacles to trip me up, or obstructions to discourage me. If he can get me to dwell on my meager strength, he will convince me that I am not able to finish, nor even worthy to compete. But if my focus is on Christ, I will continue to move towards Him, no matter the enticements offered. I will hurdle over obstacles in my path. If I stumble, I will be able to pick myself up and continue in the right direction. And if I find my way blocked, I will wait upon Him to reveal the way around, over, under, or through the obstruction, because I will know that I am running in the right direction. If I am focused on Christ, I will also know that it is by His strength that I run, not my own. I will not limit myself to what I have accomplished in the past, but I will look forward with confident expectation (hope) for the miracles He will perform in my behalf as I run in obedience to His call. Have you ever seen an Olympic runner race with his previous medals around his neck. Often, my past achievements can be my biggest “hindrance.” I can also learn something from the way Jesus ran His race. …who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. What stops most from completing a footrace is the discomfort involved in running. When my sides ache from the build-up of metabolic waste products in my muscles, my legs feel like rubber, and it seems I cannot suck in enough air to keep going, it is easy to give up and drop out of the race. What many runners have learned, is that they can push beyond that “wall” and get their “second wind.” The difference comes in having a good reason to push past the pain and discomfort, to …run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Jesus knew to what He had to look forward, so He was able to push past the pain of Galilee, Gethsemane and Golgotha to take hold of the glory that was His. In the same way, if my eyes are fixed upon Him, I will know enough about my reward that I will be motivated to push past the pain and finish strong. And, as if that isn’t enough by itself, I also have a cloud of witnesses cheering me on in this race. Some of those witnesses are identified in the preceding chapter of Hebrews (what the “therefore” is there for!). They have run the race, and know that I can too. The Apostle Paul tells us that our goal is worth the hard work of sanctification. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1Cor. 9:24-27) He stresses the importance of focus, discipline and single-mindedness. Every four years we are reminded of the hard work that precedes the stellar performances in the Olympic games. We hear and read stories of years spent in physical and psychological training – all for a medal. How much greater is the reward towards which we strive, and how much more permanent. Even the best Olympic performances are eventually outdone, and that medal may buy me temporary notoriety, but it will not sustain me for the rest of my life, much less for eternity. If my world-view is centered on Christ, is intentional and educates my entire being, I will have the will to do the hard work of sanctification. I will have confidence in the reward. And I will be encouraged by the great cloud of witnesses as I run this race.

Genesis 43 recounts the reunion of Joseph and his long-lost brothers. The moving story in this chapter paints a picture of brothers expressing fear, guilt, grief and pain. Emotions are a part of who we are-of how God created us. They are powerful and can control every other aspect of our lives if we allow them to. Since we are fallen creatures, we must learn to evaluate our emotions against the Word of God and the leadership of the Holy Spirit to ensure that we are not led astray by our feelings. Young girls will give up their purity because they are lost in a sea of emotions. Men abandon their families because they get caught up in an adulterous relationship. Families and churches are ripped apart because people allow emotions like anger, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment to control them. Of course, God works in our emotions too. He uses the natural responses we have to the events of life to teach us about Him, His will, and what He is doing in our lives. In this reunion scene between Joseph and his brothers, we see 12 men who are displaying The Power of Emotions. I want to point out the emotions that are portrayed here and the lessons they have to teach us. I. VV. 18-24 When these men are brought into Joseph’s house, they become “afraid.” This word means “to be filled with dread.” So, with their hearts still pounding in fear, they prepare themselves for the arrival of Joseph for the noon meal. Fear is a terrible emotion! It is paralyzing in the effect it has on our lives. Fear renders us incapable of trusting the Lord and looking to Him for the help we need in life. Here are eleven men who have been brought up to know Jehovah, the only true and living God, yet, they are so overcome by the emotion of fear that they are unable to see His hand at work in their lives. They have to be reminded of God’s grace, His sovereignty, and His purposes by an Egyptian pagan. Haven’t we all been there at times? · Life comes at us with all its problems and it tragedies. · When it does, we become filled with fear and dread. · Instead of faith in God, we are gripped by worry and dread. You can’t allow fear to dominate your life! Learn to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” Pro. 3:5-6. If you can learn to trust the Lord in all of life, you will never have anything to fear. II. VV. 25-30 Now, Joseph enters this scene. He pronounces a blessing on his brother, v. 29, and is immediately overcome with emotion. He makes a retreat to his private chamber where he gives way to all the emotions that are raging within his heart and he breaks down and he weeps. There are times when a person becomes overwhelmed by the events of life. Has that ever happened to you? I praise the Lord that He understands our times of weeping and brokenness. Let me just remind you today, God cares about the things you and I face in this life. 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.” Psalm 34:1: “The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous And His ears are open to their cry.” Sometimes life hurts, and when it does, we have a God who understands and One who cares about His children! III. VV. 31-34 When Joseph comes back he has gotten his emotions under control again. So, this chapter ends with all the brothers eating a meal together and being “merry.” They are all experiencing the emotion of joy. I suppose that joy is the favorite emotion we humans share. In fact, God teaches us that joy is a very healthy emotion. Pro. 17:22… “A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Pro. 15:13, “A joyful heart makes a cheerful face…” Pro. 15:15, “All the days of the afflicted are bad, But a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” If you aren’t happy and enjoying the joy of the Lord as you walk through this life, ask God to show you how to enter into His joy. So get your fear under control and trust in the Lord. If you’re in the midst of one of those overwhelming situations that is tearing your heart apart it’s okay to weep, and just know that He understands. And lastly, choose today to walk in the joy of the Lord. His joy is readily available to you, but it is up to you to choose to rejoice in the Lord. And when you do you will be stronger than you have ever been because it’s within His joy that we find our true strength!

How many times do you walk by someone in pain and desperation without a single glance? The world is filled with the overlooked and the unloved. Are you the Samaritan or the Pharisee? In Palenque Mexico, I met a beggar woman on the street who couldn’t remember her name. She was mentally ill, and someone in our group noted that she was spiritually oppressed, as well. She smelled awful and had little beads of who-knows-what in her hair. Her eyes aimlessly wandered, never fixating on one particular object. She muttered absurd things and seemed to be disconnected from reality. Although she sat in front of the main town bank in clear view, few people noticed her. They walked right past her. When we asked her name, she did not know it. We wondered if that was because it had been so long since someone had called her by it. What do you do with a name when no one acknowledges you, when no one has any reason to call you by that which identifies you? What reason do you have to remember it? So, your name falls away, and then your identity – as a member of God’s creation, as someone who is naturally imbued with the image of God – disintegrates into a life of incoherent ramblings, a dirty dress, and a few coins that jingle in your lap. Is there any reason to remember your name? Is there any point in considering your own identity, if no one else does? Who are we if we do not relate to others in community? We are created to know and be known. How we experience love from others is largely how we experience God. It sounds weird and almost universalist (i.e. “everything is God”), but that’s not what I mean. If we’re looking for a profound spiritual experience with the Creator of the Universe, it seems that God is pointing us to others – to the unlovely, the left-out. He says, “I’m there. Do you really want to now me know? Come and find me…” I didn’t come up with this on my own. The Apostle John makes this the theme of his ministry – love. Small wonder that he is called the “disciple whom Jesus loved.” If any Christ-follower has had this love thing down, it was probably this guy, and here’s what he says about love and community: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 Jn 4:11-12) His love is perfected in us. What a concept. He goes on to say that we love because God first loved us. Imagine that the most profound experiences with God may be awaiting us in doing life communally with others. It doesn’t surprise me that in our individualistic culture, so many are searching for Truth and God and growing disappointed. The answer may be right under our noses – the smell may even be burning our nostrils. Continued in: Nameless Women of the World, Pt. 2

The Christian leader that builds his role on Christ-centered bedrock is blessed with a sound foundation for setting priorities and is more faithfully followed because those he leads know the basis for his direction. To determine the “non-negotiable” priorities you must establish, clarify the following issues: Identify and clearly state the fundamental beliefs that you won’t compromise. Determine and clearly state your top allegiances. Who will you be able to go to for counsel when your emotions and personal interests? What can get in the way of setting sound priorities? What do you do to refresh your non-negotiables each morning? How do your non-negotiables mesh with the professional responsibilities you have? The following are great resolutions made by Jonathan Edwards, the remarkable Puritan preacher: Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live. Resolved, that I will live as I shall wish I had done when I come to die. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of. “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, . . . for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. (Matthew 6:20-21)

The Christian leader that builds his role on Christ-centered bedrock is blessed with a sound foundation for setting priorities and is more faithfully followed because those he leads know the basis for his direction. There are certain non-negotiables for setting appropriate priorities: Identify and clearly state the fundamental beliefs that you won’t compromise. Determine and clearly state your top allegiances. Who will you be able to go to for counsel when your emotions and personal interests get in the way of setting sound priorities? What do you do to refresh your non-negotiables each morning? How do your non-negotiables mesh with the professional responsibilities you have? Jonathan Edwards, the fiery evangelist, was an example of a Christian leader who was passionate and focused. Here are some of his resolutions. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live. Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.

What qualities do you consider most important in the man or woman of your dreams? What kind of person do you think will make a good lover? One woman in her 20’s approached me and said, “Mr. McDowell, let me show you the type of man I want to marry.” With a flourish she unfolded a list of forty-nine traits she was looking for in a man. “Lady,” I said after scanning her list, “You don’t want a husband, you want Jesus.” At the University of Washington, a sophomore approached me, whipped out his diary, and said, “Let me show you the type of woman I want to marry.” Of the fourteen qualities on his list I recall only faithfulness and trustworthiness. This time I took a different approach. “Let me ask you a question,” I said. “How do you score on those fourteen points?” “What do you mean?” he asked. “The qualities you are looking for in a wife,” I said. “Are they found in your own life?” I could see I had him thinking. “It’s not so much finding the right person,” I continued, “but being the right person that counts in marriage. If you want queen, you need to be a king. If you want a good lover, you need to be a good lover.” Read Bob Phillip’s description of the contrast between our expectations and reality. The Ideal Wife (What Every Man Wants) Always Beautiful and Cheerful. Could have married movie stars, but wanted only you. Beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm. Never sick-just allergic to jewelry and fur coats. Insists that moving furniture by herself is good for her figure. Expert in cooking, cleaning hour, fixing the car or TV, painting the house and keeping quiet. Favorite hobbies: mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. Hates charge cards…Loves you because you’re so sexy! What He Gets She speaks 140 words per minute with gusts up to 180. She once was a model for a totem pole. A light eater-as soon as it gets light, she starts eating. Where there’s smoke, she’s cooking. She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you say and everything you do. If you get lost, open your wallet-she’ll find you. The Ideal Husband (What Every Woman Expects) He will be a brilliant conversationalist. A very sensitive man-kind and understanding, truly loving. A very hard-working man. A man who helps around the house by washing dishes, vacuuming floors, and taking care of the lawn. Someone who helps raise the children. A man of emotional and physical strength. A man who is smart as Einstein, but looks like a Greek god. What She Gets He always takes her to the best restaurants. Some day he may even take her inside. He doesn’t have any ulcers. He gives them. Anytime he has an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a nutshell. He supports his wife in the manner to which she was accustomed-he’s letting her keep her job. He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation brilliant. Of course, you get the point. The golden rule of a successful relationship might be stated something like: Whatever qualities you desire in a mate, develop first in yourself. Josh McDowell, The Secret of Loving, pp. 17-18. www.josh.org.

“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.'” Hebrews 13:4 NIV Caring for the terminally ill is not an easy task. The caregiver must come to terms with his or her mortality in order to ministery to the dying. This is easier said than done. But having a spiritually mature person to talk with will enable the caregiver to process his or her own feelings of fear and helplessness in ministering to someone who is facing death. Here are ten suggestions for helping someone who is desperately ill: 1. Always tell the truth. Speak honestly but wisely. Do not belittle the problem or minimize its seriousness for the sake of false reassurance. Integrity in this area will help to build a trusting relationship in which ministry can take place. 2. Never set times. No one know how long or short a person has to live. Many cases have had turned for the good, or have gotten worse. No one knows for certainty when one is going to die. 3. Listen with sensitivity. Allow the ill person to guide the conversation and do not be afraid of not knowing all the answers. It is better to say “I don’t know” rather than to give misleading information that will undermine one’s trust. 4. Respond to needs. Listen for clues to the concerns that are troubling the ill person. Take into account the ill person’s economic, psychological, family, and other needs, and help when needs are revealed. 5. Never allow the patient to feel abandoned. Emotional needs are often ignored while physical needs are being met. Calls, cards, flowers, and visits are all important and meaningful. Never make a promise that cannot be kept. 6. Make yourself available. Being available shows that you care for the patient, but do not over-do it. Make the visits often and short. 7. Do not give medical advice. Do not go beyond your area of expertise and offer advice that you know nothing about. Even if you have visited people with similar cases you do not know this particular patient. Leave this area to the doctors. 8. If necessary, protect the person from him/herself. At times ill persons will attempt to treat themselves without telling their doctor, or will fail to take medication. The doctor needs to know about all attempts at self treatment. 9. Always hold out hope. There is always something to be thankful for, and cause for meaningful spiritual hope in spite of how dark the situation may seem. Be realistic in how you hold out hope to an ill person. 10. Provide spiritual support. Relationship with God is vital for a living or dying person. Be open and honest about your faith. Avoid heavy theological discussions and demands. Do share the simplicity of the Gospel and God’s love and presence in loving affirmation and prayer. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” Psalm 23:4 NIV When Home is Where the Hurt Is, Dr. John Vining, pp. 370-372.

How do you know when it’s time to make a big decision in your life? How do you know when circumstances squeeze you into a corner and force you to radically alter your lifestyle? Does God see your desperation? Does He hear you pray for guidance? Does He have a plan, a “way out” of the confusion and the mire? First, you have to know the absolutes-the unchangeable bedrocks that ground your life and your faith to prevent you from veering off course. Here are a few of them: 1. God has purpose in everything to bring glory to Himself. (Romans 8:28) 2. God loves you and takes your best interest to heart. (Matthew 7:9-11) 3. God’s view of your best interest is always focused on the eternal life perspective. 4. God planned and knows your future for all eternity. (Ephesians 1:5-13) 5. God sacrificed His Son, Jesus, in order to offer you a future with Him. (John 3:16) 6. God is willing to have you sacrifice your earthly well-being to further His work. (Hebrews 11:24-26) 7. God is the source of comfort and solace when the mazes overwhelm you. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) 8. God surrounds you with spiritual brothers and sisters to help and encourage you. (Philippians 2:1) 9. God builds, changes, solves, and removes change mazes in your life to get and keep you on His agenda. (Ephesians 2:10) 10. God’s plan is for you to grow to be more like Him throughout your lifetime. (2 Corinthians 4:7-10) Once you are standing on the solid ground of God’s truth, and you are walking close by His side, then there are some essentials you must consider on whether or not you change the direction you are going. These life choices may be large or small, but the principles remain the same. 1. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of listening to the Lord. 2. Get the facts. 3. Ask friends, experts, and other Christ-followers for their counsel. 4. Ask God to lead you as you face the maze. 5. Consider what Jesus would say about you making the change. 6. Measure the change against Scripture and your spiritual belief system. 7. Remember what you have learned from similar changes already experienced in your own life. 8. Weigh the risks. 9. Evaluate the stress involved with making the change. 10. Estimate what the consequences might be if you change or don’t change. No change is easy. Stepping out on faith requires keeping your eyes on Christ when everything else in your life tells you to be confused, worried or frustrated. Pray through Psalm 25. The psalmist prays an emotional prayer for guidance that will articulate many of the feelings in your heart at this life-crossroads. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. The only earth-traveller who got it right every time was Jesus. The rest of us just keep holding onto our Father’s Hand and try to read the Road Map. From Navigating Your Change Mazes, by Tom Lutz with Julie Barrier

As pastors and church leaders, we often encounter difficult questions from people who are suffering physically, emotionally and spiritually. How would you answer these questions posed to me early in my counseling ministry? If God really loves me, why did my healthy four year old son suddenly die of a brain aneurysm? Where was Jesus when I was being raped? Why didn’t God stop my husband before he had an affair and lost his pastorate? Is it possible that my depression might be the result of a demonic attack? I was ritually abused as a child. Can you help me? I do not trust anyone, including God. Can you help me build trust? When I attend church I get very agitated. I can’t concentrate on what the pastor is saying and the music drives me crazy! What is going on? It was questions like these that motivated me to gain a deeper understanding of the issues many Christians struggle with. Over the course of twenty-eight years of counseling and ministering in a church, a methodology based on our understanding of the scripture emerged. It is this methodology that I discuss and share in this book. It represents the work of many people who served with me and contributed to this process by their experience and spiritual gifts. The healing model discussed in chapter 3 is the result of years of experience and is offered not as “the only way” but as “a way” to understand and organize a ministry to wounded people. It is a model that has been tested and found effective as God has blessed it and used it to help His people. I encourage you to study it with an open mind and ask God to show you how you can be more effective in your ministry to hurting people in your church. I have written this book with the busy pastor in mind. It is organized so that each chapter stands alone and may be read based on its content without having to reference other chapters. You will also note there are chapter summaries available for a quick survey of the content of each. This book presents an apologetic for a strong pastoral care ministry in the local church. The discerning reader will also be aware of the emphasis on the role of the Holy Spirit in healing, deliverance and restoration. This author sees the church as a spiritual hospital, fully equipped and staffed to facilitate the healing ministry of Jesus. I encourage you to allow your “theology of suffering” to be challenged as you reflect on how it is operationally defined in your own ministry. This author believes that a healthy church is one that cares for its people and that this caring is easily observable among its members. I believe that churches that have strong ministries to help hurting people are ones that are growing in numbers and in influence in their communities. Just as people were drawn to Jesus by His healing ministry so they are still drawn to His church, when we allow the Holy Spirit to lead and empower us, as we minister in Jesus name. I have experienced even the most skeptical and hostile person’s attitude change when they or a member of their family has been helped by the church. Does your church pray for the sick, comfort the grieving, seek freedom for the oppressed, support those in recovery and offer counseling to the confused and discouraged? I believe we can answer the difficult questions that people bring to us. We have the authority of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to work through us to continue the ministry of our Lord to hurting and wounded people. I pray you have experienced being a facilitator of His love to His people!

The essential step in dealing with conflict is to strengthen the relationship (maintain the connection). Here are the steps you should consider in preparing to address the conflict: prepare your heart, prepare what to say, and prepare for the context. In preparing your heart you have to ask several questions. Have I honestly considered why I am doing this? Have I acknowledged my negative feelings and begun working on resolving them? Have I surrendered any wrong attitudes and motivations to God? Have I asked God to prepare the other person’s heart and help him/her to be willing to find a solution we can live with? Is there anything else I need to talk over with God first? Preparing what to say is also key in conflict resolution. Ask yourself the following questions. Do I have the essential issue clearly in mind, and am I able to clearly state it? Am I prepared to honestly and lovingly share my feelings in this matter? Do I have a clear understanding of what I would like to see happen? You must also prepare the context, or place where the conflict will be discussed. These issues must be considered. Have I decided on the best time to bring up the issue? Have I decided on the best location? You must also evaluate the effectiveness of the discussion. Much can be learned through experience by asking questions. Did I clearly and specificially present the issue? Did I promote or allow for two-way dialogue? Did I appropriately control and express my feelings? Did I avoid attacks, mind reading, prophesying and counter attacks? Did I effectively present ideas for possible solutions? Did I listen well without interrupting, giving feedback and adequate opportunity to express feelings, perceptions and solutions? Did I listen well without interrupting, giving feedback and adequate opportunity to express feelings, perceptions and solutions? Did we find a mutually acceptable solution, resulting in a minimum of unresolved feelings and misunderstandings? If we couldn’t agree, did I do everything possible to preserve our relationship? Have we set up a time for ongoing dialogue, if needed? Other strategies for managing conflict can be utilized. Follow these principles. Deal with conflicts as soon as possible (Ephesians 4:26). Keep to the present (no “gunny sacking” with “You always” and “You never”). Keep to one issue at a time. Use “I” statements, rather than “You” statements. If you need to “vent,” do this with the Lord before engaging with the other person. Don’t attack the person’s character. Propose a tentative solution or ask the other person to think of one. If there’s anger, be prepared to ask for and extend forgiveness. Take an intermission, if needed.