Success has been accorded an endless array of definitions. Some are crafted to make failure seem more like success so that we can limp through life and fail without remorse or guilt. Other definitions are quite lofty, written to give us opportunity achieve in a manner that has little to do with the achievement and everything to do with restoring blunted self-esteems. Sometimes definitions are crafted as we go along, granting us permission to fluidly and nonchalantly alter the definition of success in order to form-fit whatever the outcome of our choices have been, thereby permitting us full license to define the outcome in whatever way suits us. Then there are other times when the definition of success is modified to diminish the works of those we’ve come to abhor and elevate those upon whom our favor has fallen. Some definitions of success are those shaped by the shifting pen of political correctness, or the placating tenets of the culture, or by the gnawing need for acceptance, or formed from the dictates of a particular social grouping that demands adherence to a prescribed set of standards. Whatever and wherever their source, a dizzying array of definitions abound. And it this mad array of definitions that sends us scurrying in a million different directions in order to be successful in whatever way success is defined at the moment. In the end, success becomes more defined by figuring out exactly what success is rather than actually fulfilling the definition. Why Success? It is interesting that success, in whatever manner it is defined, has come to define our worth and value. Success appears to have become the litmus test as to the credibility of our existence and the gauge of our value. Success has evolved into the exclusive commodity by which we ascribe value to ourselves and others. It is the thing that gives us status, grants us credibility, authenticates what we say, lends weight to our opinions, and awards us with the sense of a life well lived. It is the crown jewel of our existence, something to be vigorously pursued and rigorously obtained at all costs, for not doing so is a life squandered, opportunity lost, and self-esteem decimated. Success becomes so acutely defined and so irrevocably defining that we seldom entertain any other possible definition. We find ourselves so entangled in the culturally mandated definition and so absorbed in the achieving of that definition that the endeavor becomes inordinately consuming. We have no time to question the mark of success, and if we did we fear that the cultural definition might be correct and that our lives will have forever run amuck because we missed the cherished mark. Therefore, given that the defining scale of success has assumed such a dominant role in our culture, and given that we presume there to be some golden definition out there we must find a definition for it, otherwise we have no precise framework by which to determine our success or lack thereof. Once we feel we’ve landed on the singular definition of success, we throw ourselves into the chase for fear that our lives might devolve into obscurity, our legacy might be pathetic, and we ourselves remain contemptible. What We Do or Who We Are? Yet, the yardstick that we use to measure success is defined by what we do. It is measured by a series of accomplishments, the manner in which we have embellished life through those accomplishments, and the achievement of goals lofty behind the imagination of the common man and far beyond the reach of the hoards. It’s understanding what’s fundamentally achievable and then embracing the belief that success is defined as raising oneself significantly above that which is fundamentally achievable. It’s being intentional about ascending to some lofty escarpment that we ourselves had deemed impossible to surmount. In doing so, we evidence our worth as held up against the enormity of the task itself and the manner in which the everyday person accomplishes the task. If we can eclipse both, we feel that we have established our worth by virtue of these comparisons. Yet, the nature of such a mentality of success demands that we constantly achieve. It is an effort of insanely perpetual works that requires that we continually prove our worth as the previous achievement eventually fades sufficiently to demand a new one. Therefore, we become enslaved to achievements that demand nothing more than other achievements. With such an apparently irreconcilable flaw in thinking, it would be worthwhile to postulate that our worth must be based on something significantly more consistent and profoundly more fundamental. Value Based on Who We Are It would therefore be wise to consider the possibility that our worth is based on something so profound and unerringly rich that its worth singularly speaks for itself. It would make sense that our worth should be, and in reality is based on something that can’t be proven for no other reason than its value lies forever beyond our most magnificent achievements that would serve to even remotely evidence it. And that itself may be the great rub. Too often in life we want to control the things that define us. In the oddity of it all, we desperately want to discover and be obedient to what life says that defines our success while covertly crafting those very definitions behind the scenes. We can craft life, impose values, shift circumstances and modify a host of other variables that shape a definition of success in order to give us a maximum chance of success because we had a hand in determining what it is. Yet, we are entirely unable to define any manner of success that would rise to the level of value that we inherently possess. I would propose that next to God Himself, the thing of single greatest value is we ourselves. The priceless nature of a single human life, despite the manner in which we’ve blithely degraded that worth, is wholly immense. And this immensity is utterly inestimable on so many indescribable levels that proof stands as entirely irrelevant. Human beings stand as the most definitive accomplishment of creation, standing as the pinnacle of a creation that is indescribably marvelous in and of itself. We are the final touch of the cosmos themselves. We are the defining brush stroke of a creation that encompasses the galaxies, raised up mountains, gouged out canyons, threw birds into flight, painted fiery sunsets and spun the mesmerizing diversity of the seasons. We are God’s defining work. There can be no shade of arrogance or darkening of pride in such a reality as that would only serve to sadly mar us and leave us with a diminished countenance. Indeed, we should be inordinately humbled that we are God’s crowning achievement and that, aside from any purported success grants us inestimable worth. It is not about proving our worth through the sweaty efforts of success. It is about realizing successes of even the loftiest sort and boldest character could not in and of themselves prove our worth, for it is entirely inherent and undeniably priceless. It is in recognizing this precious reality that we work to achieve in life for the sheer pleasure of achievement, rather than as a despairing effort to establish our worth. We walk through life with vigor and tenacity out of a sense of worth, not out of some desperate effort to prove our worth. Life is engaged energized and inspired by our worth, rather than depleted in the pursuit of it. Our days are lived embracing the reality that our value is based on who we are, and to embrace that liberating reality is to embrace a life liberated. © 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

“Sid, come to my office. We need to talk.” As Sid sat there wondering what was happening, the school official said, “Sid, I really like you. I believe in you. Yet, your grades aren’t cutting it here. You know it and I know it. Here is the good news. People with your character and values go on to be the CEOs of the straight A students. Yes, I am kicking you out of this college. Good luck.” Here is the irony to Sid’s story. Sid is now one of the largest donors to that school. He ended up being that CEO. In fact, a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. It wasn’t his grades that made him successful. It was what his parents put into him as a kid while he was in school that made him successful. 1: Read, read, read and when in doubt, read to your kids. Successful is… Sid was asked to leave his school because of his low grades. But he was a success because his parents taught him a love of learning and good life skills. A successful student isn’t defined by the grades on their report card. A successful student is one that: enjoys learning, is self-motivated, and connects the dots about others, like gratitude. Learning is a life-long journey. Life skills out-perform good grades. Reading is the Building Block Want to be an Attorney? You will have to read a lot. Want to be a Doctor, an Engineer, an Actor, or a Salesman? You will have to read a lot to be successful in your career. As my friend, Jeff Brown of Read to Lead, says, “Readers Lead and Leaders Read.” If you want to succeed above and beyond, reading is necessary. Encourage Reading by Reading Andrea’s favorite afternoon activity with her young children was to read a book for 20 minutes as she fell asleep on the coach. The kids joke that mom would read and start to slur her words as she fell asleep. The point is that Andrea made a routine to always find time to read, no matter how tired. Andrea would let the kids decide which books they wanted to read. (For full disclosure, the book, “Go, Dog, Go” was accidentally left outside during a thunderstorm and ruined, so she didn’t have to read it anymore.) When teaching reading to the kids, let them struggle and do it themselves. It will drive you crazy at times to help them with the word “that” for the 10,000th time their reading skills will grow much faster. When your child reads to you, overlook the mispronounced words. They will eventually get it. Better they believe they can read and enjoy the experience at a young age. Support Creativity by being Creative Crayons are cheap. Paper is cheap. Creativity is priceless. Give your kids lots of object to be creative with. Our kids love using the toilet paper rolls for all sorts of creative projects. It doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive for it to be fun to your kids. Your response to their projects is important to encourage them to explore more. Hanging the project on the wall or refrigerator is way more important than a perfect looking home. The tablet and phone will grab your children’s attention if this is what you grab first to entertain your kids. Grab crayons and craft paper first. Dream with your kids and watch them take off. Action Steps Find a time and create a habit to read to your young kids. Define a successful student as someone that loves reading and learning. Let them choose books that they want to read. Encourage them to practice reading and let them struggle through the words. Get crayons and craft items for your kids to create works of art. Parenting Tip/ Pocket Answer Readers will flourish. 2. Don’t buy a ticket to the Homework Dog and Pony Show How often did Dr. Leman help his kids with their homework? How often did Dr. Leman ask his kids if they finished their homework? His answers make sense, but do they really work? Find out in this episode. Dr. Kevin Leman never asked if his kids finished their homework. He keeps the tennis ball of life on their side of the court. So, they learn to be responsible for their own work. 1. It is their life and it is their homework, not yours. Let the teacher be the authority to get the work done. Your children will learn that they will be responsible for their work by others than mom and dad. When the report card comes home, Dr. Leman recommends saying to your kids, “I have a hard time understanding why, they send me YOUR report card. This is your report card. How do you feel about this report card?” I’ll never know if my kids are doing good or bad in school, if I don’t ask. Your kids want you to be engaged in their life. They will volunteer information about their school work. Your job is to show interest in their work. If they volunteer information, be positive and keep it their homework. Feel free to call the teacher and ask how you can help support the teacher to insure his school work gets done. What do I do if their grades are poor? The next time, they want to do or go somewhere, say, “Nope, we need to have this conversation about your grades. Within 4 years, a person will look at your grades from High School and will make inferences about you from those grades. If those grades are poor, they won’t want to accept you into college or a job. Are you happy with those grades? What do we need to do to get them up?” 2. School first, play second. Set the school first culture early. Get your child their own special spot to study. Set it up with their favorite pencil, good lighting and their touch. Set a specific time that homework starts, like 4 pm. This gives your kids the routine that I have my place, my stuff and a set time that school work gets done. Give your kid some time to play or decompress when the first get home from school, then encourage them to go to their spot and do their school work. Early on and later, put up their “work” on the frig. Show off their homework. 3. Don’t load the wagon so full. Make sure your child has enough time for the important things of life as well as the extra activities. Does your child have time to simply enjoy life? Does your child have time for his friends to come over? Does your child have enough time to get his school work done? Be pro-active in evaluating what does on the family wagon, so you kid’s can do the important things. Summation of podcasts by Dr. Leman. Used by permission. www.birthorderguy.com/podcast/046-3-no-brainer-ideas-to-make-your-child-a-successful-student/

I know a pastor in California who reversed his position on homosexuality. The pastor said that his shift coincided with his 15 year-old son’s announcement that he is gay. This is a situation every Christian should think through, now. At stake on the issue of a Christian sexual ethic is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But what if, sitting across from you, is your child or grandchild? You will, without a doubt, have someone close to you in your family come out as gay or lesbian, if not already, then sometime in the future. How should a Christian parent or grandparent respond? One of the reasons this is such a crushing experience for many is because they assume that their alternatives are affirmation or alienation. I either give up my relationship with my child or I give up the Bible. The gospel never suggests this set of alternatives, and in fact demonstrates just the opposite. Every child, whether gay or straight, is oriented toward sin, and so are you. If your child or grandchild says he or she is gay, you shouldn’t act shocked, as though you are surprised your child might be tempted toward sin, or that you find your own sinful inclinations somehow less deserving of God’s judgment. Your child’s point of temptation doesn’t mean that your entire relationship with him or her should be defined by that. We don’t affirm what the Bible says is wrong simply because someone we love is drawn toward it, whether that’s “straight” fornication or gay relationships. At the same time, that doesn’t mean your entire relationship is now to become a sparring match over Romans 1. Ironically, those who cut off all relationship with a gay child buy into the narrative of the Sexual Revolutionaries, that every aspect of one’s identity is defined by sexual orientation and activity. As a Christian, you believe this person is made in the image of God, and thus worthy of love, regardless of how far away from God, or from you. First of all, consider what your child is telling you. He or she could be saying that this is an identity, from which they refuse to repent. That will require a different sort of response than if the child is saying, “This is how I feel, so what do I do?” This will change the way you respond, but what doesn’t change is your love and care for this child. Don’t panic and don’t reject them. Say explicitly that you love that child, no matter what, and mean it. Your relationship wasn’t formed by the child’s performance, and that won’t start now. If your loved one is a Christian, spend time over the years discipling him or her about what following Christ looks like. Jesus isn’t shocked by his or her temptations, and will not leave him or her alone to fight them. The path toward chastity and fidelity to Christ is a difficult one, and your child or grandchild will need you and the church and the great cloud of witnesses to cheer him or her on, as they walk a path that can be lonely in a world that too often defines sex and sexuality as ultimate in life. If your loved one isn’t a Christian, express your love, keep the relationship going, and be a gracious gospel witness. God never promises us that our children or grandchildren will all walk the way of Christ. Every wandering son or daughter needs to know that if the moment of crisis comes in his or her life, there’s a house waiting with a fatted-calf party ready to go, welcoming the wanderer home. One of the reasons this is so hard for some parents and grandparents is because somehow we assume this issue to be merely a “culture war” issue, and not a gospel issue. As such, parents are often perplexed as to how to deal with this in their families because they think this is about them. They wonder if others will judge them, as though they did something to “cause” this. That’s ridiculous, and it leads people ultimately either to reject biblical teaching to keep their kids or reject their kids (and their gospel witness to them) for the sake of appearing to keep the biblical teaching. At the root of all of that is pride, and I don’t mean that in the sense of “gay pride” but in the sense of carnal self-seeking. That’s a temptation for all parents, not just for those of gay children. We’re tempted to see our children as reflections of ourselves, and we’re tempted then to keep up our image. Crucify that temptation. God calls us to holiness, and to encourage one another to holiness. The Bible is clear that this means fleeing from sexual immorality, and that includes same-sex sexual activity (1 Cor. 6). God also calls parents to love their children. Be clear about your convictions, and at the same time don’t exile your child from your life. If we sacrifice grace for truth or truth for grace, we’re sub-Christian. www.russellmoore.com . Russell Moore is president of The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission.

How do you beat porn addiction? For the man or woman who has been fighting this battle for the long time, often its seems like there’s no hope in sight. When we want to change, what practical defenses can be put in place that make for lasting change? Bob Reehm, author of The War Within , presents seven key tactics for maintaining sexual purity. Bob’s approach is both unique and refreshing because he weaves together his knowledge of Scripture with his experience in Naval warfare, painting a vivid picture of the spiritual battle behind sexual sin. Tactic #1: Scripture Memory – Bob writes, “A ship in the water is a good thing. Water in the ship is a bad thing. A Christian in the world is a good thing. The world in the Christian or a worldly Christian is a bad thing.” The question is: How do we keep water out of the boat? We need to utilize the weapons God has given us, and the primary weapon we have is His Word. Tactic #2: Armed with His Promises – Knowing God’s Word, we also need to apply it and meditate upon it. In times of temptation, in times of failure, and in all the ups and downs of life, we must have on the armor of God’s promises to fortify our hearts and minds. Just like a warship’s steel exterior, we must arm ourselves with His great promises, putting our trust in them, not in our feelings. Tactic #3: Reckoning Ourselves Dead to Sin – The Bible says that those who have the Spirit of Christ in them are united to Christ in his death and resurrection. This means we are currently “dead to sin.” What we must do is reckon or count this to be true. Like a warship wrapped in electromagnetic coils to ward off magnetic mines, when we wrap ourselves in Jesus Christ, we can ward off temptation. Tactic #4: Warfare Prayer – When an airplane attacks a ship on the open sea, the ship cannot outrun the plane. It must stand and fight. When Satan attacks with tempting thoughts, we cannot outrun him, but we can outgun him. Like Jesus in the wilderness, we need to have Scripture in our hearts and minds, ready to speak aloud when Satan whispers deceiving thoughts. Tactic #5: Retreat – When tempting situations present themselves, rather than remaining and letting ourselves be entertained by the idea of sin, God commands us to flee. When a ship is in range of an enemy’s guns, and there is no way to counterattack, the best thing to do is get out of range. Tactic #6: Cast Your Cares on God – When a submarine wants to attack a warship, it can hide beneath the “thermal layer” under the water. Similarly, often hidden motives and hurts in our hearts move us to act out in sinful ways. We turn to sin as an escape. Instead, we need to make God our refuge, learning the art of crying out to Him in times of frustration, exhaustion, and pain. Tactic #7: Community – No one goes to war alone. When the enemy attacks we need comrades to help us fight well. When it comes to fighting temptation and sin, we need to have fellow Christians around us, challenging us to holiness. www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission of Luke Gilkerson.

Guest Author: Dr. Faydra Shapiro Introductions are funny things – sometimes it’s what is unsaid, what is assumed, that can tell you the most. Several years ago I gave a talk at a church in North America about Israel and Jewish-Christian relations. The listeners were very encouraging and as the talk drew to a close I felt I had really done a superb job of teaching and inspiring the audience. Until the moment when one elderly gentleman stood up to ask me a question. He said: “Thank you very much, Dr. Shapiro. That was a great talk. But one thing you didn’t really speak about was the role of your faith in Jesus Christ”. “Oh, dear”, I thought, my heart sinking. Clearly I had done a brilliant job, but I had missed an essential point. Since that day I take the time to state it plainly and for the record: I am a Jew. Admittedly a Jew with an out-of-the-ordinary interest in Christianity and the New Testament, but still, simply, an “Orthodox” Jew. That doesn’t necessarily matter much, but it’s always useful to know where a person is coming from. Today I want to discuss an issue that comes up often in my conversations with Christian – almost always evangelical – friends and students. This is the matter of “having a relationship with God”, and the belief that this is one of the benefits of the Jesus path. While I do recognize that the whole rhetoric of “relationship not religion” is a product of 1970s popular American evangelicalism, it is an attiude that has important implications even if it might not be mobilized by many Christians. Now again, let’s pay attention to the unsaid. Having a relationship with God as opposed to what? The other (clearly undesirable) option is “religion”. So with Jesus one can ostensibly have something true and immediate – a personal relationship with God, whereas Jews only have “religion”. Let’s unpack this a little. “Relationship” is understood to refer to something intimate, experiential, mystical, personal, friendly, deep, spiritual. “Religion” is ascribed the associations of being rule-oriented, man-made, legalistic, formal, distanced and superficial. Given these resonances, clearly having a relationship is something desirable whereas religion is something to progress past. And it is not uncommon for Christian readings of the gospels to assume precisely this – that what Jesus offered people was a personal (intimate, deep) relationship with God specifically in distinction to the Jews who only offered (formal, sterile) religion. You can imagine the impact that this kind of slogan has for Christian understandings of Judaism. It’s also interesting how this emphasis resonates with the current wave of people who insist that they are “spiritual, not religious.” The fact is that Judaism takes the idea of the individual’s relationship with God very seriously. It is obvious to Jews that both fear of God and love of God are important, and that emphasizing one over the over leads to an unhealthy imbalance. But the Jewish love of God and personal relationship with Him ends up looking quite different than that of contemporary evangelical Christianity for several reasons. First, most Jews find popular evangelical lyrics and expressions like “My Saviour, my closest friend” and “Jesus take the wheel” to be far too casually intimate with the Holy One Blessed be He, to be comfortable. The concern is that this approach casts the sovereign, powerful, Master of the Universe into a being dangerously much like ourselves. Second, Jews believe that doing His will is the highest expression of love, gratitude and clinging to God. In short, good relationships are expressed in action. Because performing mitzvoth (commandments) often looks so foreign to outsiders, it is very difficult for Christians to recognize things like keeping the dietary laws or Sabbath observance for what it is supposed to be – a declaration of love for God. I believe that the ideal for both Judaism and Christianity is a balance and an integration of heart and hands, relationship and religion, informal and formal, spontaneous and fixed. Our challenge is to look for the unseen behind the slogan, and behind our assumptions – to learn to see the “spiritual” in Judaism and the role of “practice” or “holy living” in Christianity. Soon Jews around the world will be marking the holiest day of the year – yom kippur (the Day of Atonement). It is a powerful day, dedicated to intensive prayer and fasting, with some of the most profound and moving liturgy of the Jewish tradition. Several times on that awesome day we will describe our relationship to God with these words: For we are your people, and you are our God. We are your children, and you are our Father. We are your servants, and you are our Lord. We are your community, and you are our Portion. We are your heritage, and you are our Lot. We are your flock, and you are our Shepherd. We are your vineyard, and you are our Keeper. We are your work, and you are our Maker. We are your companions, and you are our Beloved. We are your treasure, and you are our Friend. We are your people, and you are our King. We are your betrothed, and you are our Betrothed. From www.eteacherbiblical.com

Why do kids lie? They start early. It’s hard to trust again after a child has started habitually lying. How can you be sure he won’t lie again? How do you break him of the habit? Because once he starts, it’ll only get worse. If you’ve got a child who’s started lying, here are some things you may want to know. Kids lie for two basic reasons. One is for wish fulfillment . Some kids will come home and tell you they scored three goals in soccer…and then you find out they didn’t play at all. The second is out of fear . “Did you break that vase?” you demand. “No, I didn’t do it! Little Joey did it!” your seven-year-old claims. Most children lie out of fear. in order for there to be a relationship between two human beings, it must be based on trust otherwise the lying will become a mountain and get between them. So if your child lies to you, he needs to be caught in that lie and told that lying is not acceptable. There also needs to be a second consequence for lying. Let’s say that, a couple days later, your child says something like, “Can I go next door and play with Ronnie?” Your answer needs to be a matter-of-fact “No.” “Buy why?” your child asks. “You always let me go.” Now’s the teachable moment. “Honey, I don’t have any assurance that you’re going to be where you said you’ll be. Remember Wednesday night, when you told me you were going to be at Susan’s—and you weren’t?” Do you beat the kid over the head with the lie? No. Don’t drag it out long term. But saying something like that two or three times makes a memorable impression on a child that lying isn’t what you do. It doesn’t gain you anything, and it breaks down trust between the two of you. Children need to see and feel that immediate result. Remember the age old admonition: “You won’t get in trouble if you tell me the truth.” That needs to be true of your family. If your child tells the truth she can know that you’re unhappy, but she should not be punished for telling the truth. In those situations, you’ll need to think carefully before you open your mouth. How you respond to such a situation directly relates to how comfortable your child is in telling you the truth. Kids can be as dumb as mud and will do stupid things, but if they own up to them and say they’re sorry, they need to know that life will go on and you won’t beat them over the head for years for their mistake. Lastly, parents too have to be careful about their own lies; even those pesky little white lies are still lies. If you say to your child, “If someone from work calls, I’m not here,” and it’s not the truth, your child is smart enough to know it. And then your kid thinks, If it’s okay for you to lie, it’s okay for me to lie. Don’t forget, if you value honesty, you must also model it for your children. And that goes for any bit of character you’d like to see develop in your child For more on raising kids, Have a New Kid by Friday is a valuable resource! Purchase Have a New Kid by Friday HERE . – See more at: www.birthorderguy.com/parenting/liar-liar-pants-on-fire/

In John 8:44, Jesus speaks of Satan as “a liar and the father of lies.” Deception is his preferred tool as he attempts to rob God of His glory. Like any other vandal, he seeks to mar all that might reflect the glory of God, and make it unattractive to those searching for truth and relationship. However, he is clever enough to package his lies in appealing ways. Just as he did in the garden, he puts just enough “truth” in the lie to make it plausible. Then he repeats the age-old question, “Did God really say … ?” One such lie has birthed a commonly held misconception in our culture, and many others. On the surface, this misconception seems appealing because it appears to promote peace and harmony. Over the past couple of decades, “tolerance” has become a social dogma so firmly ensconced in our culture, that questioning it can lead to mandated “sensitivity training” or worse (if there is worse!). On the surface, tolerance appears virtuous. After all, doesn’t the Bible teach that we should love all people, and accept them where they are? Yes it does, but tolerance doesn’t teach us to love anyone, only to “put up with them.” It says, “ I won’t mess with you, if you don’t mess with me.” In contrast, love compels me to get involved in other’s lives, to leave my comfort zone, even at my own expense. Tolerance falls short of Jesus’ commission “… teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:20). Tolerance is content to leave someone where they are, no matter how harmful their situation. That’s not love, that’s apathy! In essence, tolerance is a form of selfishness that allows me the comfort of ignoring the spiritual condition of others, as long as I “tolerate” them. Casas Assistant Pastor, Darin Hoffman, puts it this way, “I’ll let you be selfish, if you let me be selfish.” A popular bumper sticker spells out the word “coexist” using various religious and ideological symbols. • C – Islams’s crescent and star; • O – Wicca’s pentagram; • E – (=mc2) for science; • X – Judaism’s star of David; • I – Buddhism’s Karma Wheel dotting the i; • S – Taoism’s Tao symbol; • T – Christianity’s cross. The message ? – “All systems of thought and belief are equally valid. It’s OK for you to believe in one of them, as long as you accept all the others.” This is no different than “moral relativism”, the belief that there is no absolute truth; “I have my truth and you have your truth.” And it does nothing to tear down walls. Rather it allows me to build up strong walls with large signs on them that say, “Don’t preach at me and I won’t preach at you!” The technical term for this is “henotheism” A term coined by Max Müller, to mean devotion to a single “God” while accepting the existence of other gods. Müller stated that henotheism means “monotheism in principle and a polytheism in fact.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henotheism) A henotheist may exclusively worship one god, for whatever reasons, while accepting that there are other gods worthy of worship even if he or she chooses not to worship them. From a purely pragmatic point of view, this may appear to be the only path to world peace. It may well be the basis of the false peace the book of Revelation says will be imposed upon the world in the final days. It is only a small step from henotheism to the “truth” of a new god who embodies all of the “truth” from the lesser historical gods. A henotheistic world view requires some difficult re-interpretation of foundational scriptures. What do you do with the following? “You shall have no other gods before (or besides) me. (Exodus 20:3, and Deuteronomy 5:7) Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6, italics added for emphasis) At best, henotheism reduces Christianity to nothing more than a belief system, a way of thinking. But Christianity is more than that. Unlike any system of thought, Christianity is about relationship with the God who created the universe and everything in it. No other religion teaches that God desires a relationship with us, that he created men and women for communion with Him. No other system of thought teaches that God delights himself in us (Zephaniah 3:17). And no other religion teaches that God Himself sacrificed to buy us back, when we had sold ourselves into sin. The uniqueness of Christianity does not allow it to stand alongside any other as an equal. A difficult paradox for henothesim to address is that Christianity, like several others, identifies its God as the creator of the universe. There can only be one creator of the universe, all others must have been created by that creator. The only way they could all be equal would be if they were, themselves, all products of a “Darwinian creation”. Then, none of them would be the creator, because by Darwinian definition, there is no creator. However, if there is a creator-god, all others must be subservient to that god. And if any subservient god demanded man’s worship, that would be robbing the creator-god of the worship due. Who does that sound like? Again, the devil took him (Jesus) to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” (Matthew 4:8-9) We should answer as Jesus did! Our defense from such subtle deception is to cultivate an intentionally-biblical world-view. It needs to be intentional, or it will never happen. It needs to be biblical, because it needs to be based upon objective truth. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. (Ephesians 4:14) And it needs to be a world-view, in that it is all-encompassing, applied to every facet of life. Henotheism only works if I compartmentalize life. Only then can I ignore contradictions between various thought systems, because they belong to different life compartments. How then, if we are not to embrace “tolerance” as the world preaches it, should I respond to others with differing world-views. A Biblical world-view shows that we are placed in the midst of darkness as lights, beacons to guide the lost to the one true God who loves them and sacrificed His Son for them. We are to do this with compassion and understanding, yet with an urgency prompted by our concern for their eternal destiny. We are to do it with gentleness and patience, never tiring of their dullness of hearing, but constantly holding them up in prayer. And like our God, we are to lovingly sacrifice ourselves for them – that they might see a glimpse of the love God has for them. Adapted from an article written for Casas Magazine

Is Christianity Dying? Christianity is dying. At least, that’s what major newspapers are telling us today, culling research from a new Pew Center study on what almost all sociologists are observing these days—the number of Americans who identify as Christians has reached an all-time low, and is falling. I think this is perhaps bad news for America, but it is good news for the church. The lead editor of the report tells The New York Times that secularization—mainly in terms of those who identify as “nones” or with no specific religious affiliation—isn’t isolated to the progressive Northeast and Pacific Northwest. He notes, “The change is taking place all over, including the Bible Belt.” This is precisely what several of us have been saying for years. Bible Belt near-Christianity is teetering. I say let it fall. For much of the twentieth century, especially in the South and parts of the Midwest, one had to at least claim to be a Christian to be “normal.” During the Cold War, that meant distinguishing oneself from atheistic Communism. At other times, it has meant seeing churchgoing as a way to be seen as a good parent, a good neighbor, and a regular person. It took courage to be an atheist, because explicit unbelief meant social marginalization. Rising rates of secularization, along with individualism, means that those days are over—and good riddance to them. Again, this means some bad things for the American social compact. In the Bible Belt of, say, the 1940s, there were people who didn’t, for example, divorce, even though they wanted out of their marriages. In many of these cases, the motive wasn’t obedience to Jesus’ command on marriage but instead because they knew that a divorce would marginalize them from their communities. In that sense, their “traditional family values” were motivated by the same thing that motivated the religious leaders who rejected Jesus—fear of being “put out of the synagogue.” Now, to be sure, that kept some children in intact families. But that’s hardly revival. Secularization in America means that we have fewer incognito atheists. Those who don’t believe can say so—and still find spouses, get jobs, volunteer with the PTA, and even run for office. This is good news because the kind of “Christianity” that is a means to an end—even if that end is “traditional family values”—is what J. Gresham Machen rightly called “liberalism,” and it is an entirely different religion from the apostolic faith handed down by Jesus Christ. Now, what some will say is that the decline in self-identified Christians is a sign that the church should jettison its more unpopular teachings. And in our day, these teachings are almost always those dealing with pelvic autonomy. First of all, even if this were the key to success, we couldn’t—and wouldn’t—do it. Christianity isn’t a political party, dependent on crafting ideologies to suit the masses. We received this gospel (Gal. 1:11-12); we didn’t invent it. But, that said, such is not the means to “success”—even the way the sociologists define it. The Pew report holds that mainline denominations—those who have made their peace with the Sexual Revolution—continue to report heavy losses, while evangelical churches remain remarkably steady—even against some heavy headwinds coming from the other direction. Why? We learned this answer 100 years ago, and it reminds us of what we learned 2,000 years ago. Two or three generations ago, Christians who held to the Virgin birth of Christ were warned that their children would flee the faith unless the parents redefined Christianity. “If you want to win the next generation,” they were told, “you have to make Christianity relevant, and that means dispending with miracles in favor of modern science.” The churches that followed that path aren’t just dying; they are dead, sustained by endowments and dwindling gatherings of nostalgic senior adults with a smattering of community organizers here and there. People who don’t want Christianity, don’t want almost-Christianity. Almost-Christianity looks in the mainline like something from Nelson Rockefeller to Che Guevara at prayer. Almost Christianity, in the Bible Belt, looks like a God-and-Country civil religion that prizes cultural conservatism more than theological fidelity. Either way, a Christianity that reflects its culture, whether that culture is Smith College or NASCAR, only lasts as long as it is useful to its host. That’s because it’s, at root, idolatry, and people turn from their idols when they stop sending rain. Christianity isn’t normal anymore, and that’s good news. The Book of Acts, like the Gospels before it, shows us that the Christianity thrives when it is, as Kierkegaard put it, a sign of contradiction. Only a strange gospel can differentiate itself from the worlds we construct. But the strange, freakish, foolish old gospel is what God uses to save people and to resurrect churches (1 Cor. 1:20-22). We do not have more atheists in America. We have more honest atheists in America. Again, that’s good news. The gospel comes to sinners, not to the righteous. It is easier to speak a gospel to the lost than it is to speak a gospel to the kind-of-saved. And what those honest atheists grapple with, is what every sinner grapples with, burdened consciences that point to judgment. Our calling is to bear witness. We don’t have Mayberry anymore, if we ever did. Good. Mayberry leads to hell just as surely as Gomorrah does. But Christianity didn’t come from Mayberry in the first place, but from a Roman Empire hostile to the core to the idea of a crucified and resurrected Messiah. We’ve been on the wrong side of history since Rome, and it was enough to turn the world upside down. The future of Christianity is bright. I don’t know that from surveys and polls, but from a word Someone spoke one day back at Caesarea Philippi. The gates of hell haven’t gotten any stronger, and the Light that drives out the darkness is enough to counter every rival gospel, even those gospels that describe themselves as “none.” _________________________ For more on this, see my new book Onward: Engaging the Culture Without Losing the Gospel. Re-printed from www.russellmoore.com. Used by permission.

Revelation 2:17 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.” Once again, like the two previous calls, the one who hears is called to obey. Hebrew has no word for obedience. To hear someone means to obey him. He who obeys is described as conqueror and overcomer. To this particular overcomer, Christ is promising something very special – hidden manna and a white stone with a new secret name. First promise is easier to interpret than the second one. Manna is a symbol of God’s sustenance and provision for the people of Israel in the wilderness as they came out of Egypt in obedience to God’s call, risking their own lives to go to a land they would only later be shown. When Jesus spoke with the Samaritan Israelite woman (John 4), his Judean Israelite disciples were returning from a nearby town with food acceptable for consumption by the Judeans (Ioudaioi). The disciples asked among themselves if perhaps someone already had brought Jesus food. He then answered them that he had something that was now, in this passage in Revelation, also being promised to the one who overcomes – the hidden manna. He said: “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” (Jn.4:32) This secret food that “the rest” did not know about is nothing less than divine energy that is able to provide sustenance in the most unimaginable and perilous circumstances. This characterized the-soon-to-be reality for believers in Pergamum. Jesus promised this energy to the one who obeys God’s words. This is why the one who obeys also is the one who overcomes. As to the identity of the white stone things are more complicated. Among the most-likely interpretations that may fit the context is a suggestion that the white stones, with names of the recipients inscribed, were given to contest winners of the Roman sport races. The white stone inscribed with a personal name presumably served as a pass to a prestigious banquet only attended by the winners. This stone would have been received upon completion of the race. While this is not a particularly Jewish cultural reference, we do know of many biblical examples of the use of Greco-Roman cultural references as illustrations for and by the Jews. For example, the Apostle Paul used many Roman sports metaphors to make his points (Phil. 3:12-14; 1 Cor. 9:24-27; 2 Tim. 4:6-8). The writer of the letter to the Hebrews also employed Roman sport imagery of running a race and receiving a winner’s wreath (See also Hebrews 12:1). This kind of imagery was well known in Judea that housed elaborate sports arenas. This kind of analogy much more closely matches the culture of the Roman city of Pergamum. No doubt the persecuted believers, both Jewish and former pagans, were aware of this practice and the elaborate banquets of honor for the overcomers/winners of the race. Most of the believers did not take part in these games by the virtue of the fact that the games included a dedication to the Roman gods. Christ tells them that in all reality they have not missed out on anything. The real race is the race of perseverance dedicated to Israel’s God. Whoever perseveres in this race and overcomes will receive a pass into the heavenly banquet of eternal honor. Another intriguing possibility continues with the theme of priestly attire as was already used in the letter of Revelation. The high priest’s robe had 12 stones with the names of the 12 tribes of Israel. One of the stones was actually white – Yahalom (it was a stone number 6), signifying the 6th son of Leah – Zebulun. What’s important about Zebulun? We read in Is. 9:1-7, quoted in Matt. 4:15 that: “In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan. The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned… For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.” According to this interpretation, the sacred white stone is a symbol of Greco-Romans residing in Galilee who would receive light through the birth of Jesus. Could the secret here be the Messiah himself? Could the white stone point to Jesus through the yahalom stone once adorning the breast of the High Priest of Israel? Perhaps. Used by permission of eteacherbiblical.com.

“Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it!” (Ephesians 5:10 The Message) It’s a life-altering directive and where living intentionally begins. Intentionality then occurs when you combine information and insight to compel you to action in each of the five essential areas of life: Faith, Family, Health, Finances and Work. Yet what should be the basis for your intentions? Better asked: What does God look at to judge that your intentions are right – and from Him? 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Think of a grill thermometer. The steak may look done on the outside, but the thermometer will reveal whether the meat is fully cooked inside. Our lives are the same way. Appearances are fine, but deep down are areas that are still not done to completion. So what is the mechanism the Lord uses to help you see inside yourself? “The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) The Bible is the thermometer. We look at Scripture as a guide and encouragement, and that’s good. But the Word of God will also, like the thermometer, pierce you; it’ll challenge you to place your life’s journey in alignment with God’s intentions. At this point, it’s one thing to say you’re going to use this insight to live intentionally. It’s quite another to actually move forward. In Part 2 we’ll tackle the nasty issue of procrastination and the good intentions it creates that stay unrealized and destructive. More Than Just a Good Intention 2: God’s Intentions are Best! Procrastination is progressive and it stifles your efforts to live an intentional life in Christ. Martin Luther had it right when he said, “How soon ‘Not now’ becomes ‘Never’.” In the Bible, Nicodemus with Jesus (John 3) and Felix before Paul (Acts 24) are both examples of people who had good intentions about knowing and following God, but they procrastinated – never following through on what Christ told them. You can easily do that as well. Psychologists have identified a myriad of reasons why we procrastinate: Complex projects seem daunting Projects are deemed unpleasant An inability to prioritize Fear of failure Distractions The old saying says, “The path to Hell is filled with good intentions.” These good intentions have a definite pattern that may seem all-too-familiar to you: 1. Good intentions recognize a need in your life that 2. Creates an interest where you want to know more, but then 3. Leads to an emotional response, usually fear, that holds you back from doing anything else. Other truths about good intentions: They are not decisions; they’re just illusions of good decisions. They release you from guilt, making you feel better. But you never take it further. They’re all about the future, but not connected to now. They’re not accountable to anyone else except yourself. They promise much, require little, but accomplish nothing. They are the facilitator of procrastination. So how do you go forward from having good intentions that do nothing to possessing God’s intentions that do something and can be life-changing? 3: God-given Passion A good intention alone is fed by procrastination and accomplishes nothing. But God’s intentions, when birthed in your life, will not only move you forward. They can accomplish the incredible for you, and dramatically impact the lives of others. What do I mean? Take the example of one of my favorite Bible personalities, Nehemiah. He discovered God’s intention for his life by using the process of having a good intention – then taking it to the next level. Nehemiah: Recognized a need (the walls of Jerusalem were destroyed, and his people were in danger – Nehemiah 1:3), that then… Created an interest where he wanted to know more (Nehemiah sought God for insight – Nehemiah 1:4-11), which then… Led to an emotional response; not fear, but bold faith (Nehemiah went to the king and secured permission and resources to rebuild the walls – Nehemiah 2:1-8) The key was this: Nehemiah asked God, “What is your intention about this situation?” When he received the answer from the Lord, he immediately acted because he had a God-given passion about the need. I love that! Often, people with bad intentions have more motivation than those with good intentions because they, too, have a passion: to kill, to steal, to cheat. Yet when you break through to discover God’s intentions for you, you’ll do the right things based on His leading and direction, not yours. Now think. What are God’s intentions for you regarding your faith, family, health, finances and work? How can you employ your thinking, emotions and action to live intentionally? You start by finding the next right One Thing for each area of your life. You can live by Ephesians 5:10, “Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it!” (The Message) http://www.theintentionallife.com/onething/ Used by permission of the author.

An episode of ABC’s Modern Family captures the split in American opinions about porn. Claire Dunphy finds a dirty picture on one of their computers and assumes it was her 10-year-old son Luke who looked at it. Claire calls it unacceptable “smut.” Her husband Phil (the one who actually downloaded the picture) tries to chalk it up to sexual curiosity. Claire’s solution is to tell Luke every time he looks at porn God kills a puppy. Phil’s attitude: “It was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. Do you know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.”* Is porn all that bad for you? Many don’t think it is, even in the church. Yes, we know lust is wrong (Matthew 5:28), but why would using pornography be especially harmful? Why should we be concerned when our husband, wife, son, or daughter looks at pornography? 5 Ways Porn Warps the Mind There are at least 5 ways using pornography over and over damages our sexual beliefs: Harm #1: Watching Porn Decreases Our Sexual Satisfaction It trains us to desire the variety and “designer sex” of cybersex more than the familiar sexuality of marriage. Studies show the more people expose themselves even to softcore porn, the less satisfied they are with the physical appearance of their significant other. Harm #2: Watching Porn Disconnects Us from Real Relationships It trains us to detach emotional involvement from sexual experience. Studies show the more people turn to cyberspace for sexual satisfaction, the less they turn to committed relationships to experience true intimacy. Harm #3: Watching Porn Lowers Our View of Women It trains us to see women as sexual commodities, not people created in God’s image. The more men (and women) view porn, the more likely they are to buy the glossy lies pornography teaches: that women are only worth their sexual prowess and their ability to conform to the erotic euphoria of porn women. Harm #4:Watching Porn Desensitizes Us to Cruelty It numbs us to the seriousness of verbal and physical aggression. Most modern pornography portrays women as enjoying sexually abusive and degrading language and activity. It is toxic sexual mis-education. Harm #5: Watching Porn Makes Us Want to Watch More Porn It taps into the neuro-circuitry of our brains, making us desire the same rush of sexual energy again and again. Over 90% of therapists believe a person can literally become addicted to using pornography. And like other addictions, the more porn we use, the more we need to use to get the same high. The Way of Escape God promises that God is faithful in the midst of our temptations, and He will not let us be tempted beyond our ability, but with the temptation he will provide the way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). Our e-book Your Brain on Porn: 5 Ways Pornography Warps Your Mind and 3 Biblical Ways to Renew It presents scientific research fully detailing these 5 harms. It also gives a solid biblical foundation to understand why porn is so harmful and the way God has provided to break free. * Modern Family, “Not in My House” Premiered on ABC on January 13, 2010

Loops are negative interactions between two people in which each reaction heightens the conflict. For example, if one person is demanding, the other person will often withhold. Or if one expresses an emotion, the other may be overly logical. If one pursues, the other will probably distance. Here’s what the bible says about loops: Don’t have them! Romans 12:17 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” Don’t respond to them! (in the expected negative way). Proverbs 17:19 says, “He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction.” So don’t build a “high gate!” Remember: You don’t have to accept an invitation to every argument you’re invited to! Proverbs 15:1 says “a soft answer turns away wrath.” Don’t start them! Romans 4:15 says, “The law produces wrath.” Too many rules and regulations produce more bad reactions on the other person’s part. An atmosphere of “grace” (not rules) must prevail in any home. Christ was constantly invited into loops by the teachers of Jewish law. These teachers elevated meaningless rules above relationship with a loving God. They were threatened that Christ showed no regard for their man made rules, as when he healed a man on the Sabbath (which was forbidden by the “law”). Here’s an example of how the Jewish teachers tried to invite Christ into a “loop”: Christ was asked if people should pay taxes to Caesar. This question was designed to start a fight. Jesus asked to see a Roman coin and asked whose image was on the coin. Of course, the image was that of Caesar. Then Jesus said in Luke 20:25, “Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things which are God’s.” Christ did not accept this invitation to a fight. Here are six good ways to break relationship loops: 1.) Always turn a complaint into a request (don’t demand). 2.) Be curious, not reactive (don’t withhold). 3.) Agree that no mind-reading is allowed in your relationship. 4.) Ask the other person what he/she meant by their statement, or ask what they thought you meant by your statement. The meaning that we attribute to the actions and words of others is usually the reason for conflict. 5.) Ask yourself, “How do I invite the behavior I hate?” Examine your own loop with God. If you are “looping” with someone, there is something amiss with your relationship with God, and He can tell you exactly what that is and how you are resisting Him. 6.) Temporarily disengage from the conversation. Whoever disengages takes responsibility for telling the other person when he/she will reengage, then must initiate the re-engagement. Even just slowing the conversation down may save the day! Here’s the best idea yet: Create POSITIVE loops. Foster good will. “Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice” (Psalm 112:5). “Give, and it will be given to you” (Luke 6:38). “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35). There are many more loop busters. Loops are symptomatic of unmet intimacy needs such as affection and approval. This is one of the paradigms I look through in marriage counseling.