We constantly find ourselves captivated by a whole lot of things. There’s a seemingly endless bunch of stuff that we become absolutely fascinated with and fixated upon, sometimes to the point that we’re held in some sort of riveted hypnotic trance. A lot of times we’re kind of like mesmerized moths who find ourselves irresistibly drawn to some sort of light, whatever that light might be, erratically fluttering around it until we either lose interest in it or are zapped by it. We frequently seem to be most captivated by the very things that can hurt us as if they have some irresistibly seductive quality to them that the tamer things in life don’t appear to have. We seem to have an insatiable tendency to wrangle with risk. There’s an unquenchable compulsion within us to ‘play with fire,’ or ‘push the envelope,’ or ‘step over the line,’ or ‘dance with the devil’ as they say. It seems that we’re all daredevils at heart, some more and some less, but we all have a bit of risk-taking engrained in us somewhere. There’s that insatiable adrenaline rush that we’re all looking for, or we’re after the ability to claim sole bragging rights for some innately daring feat, or we’re consumed with the desire to squash our incessant boredom by stepping outside of the box and doing something outrageous. In some place at some time, an opportunity to let that side of ourselves out to play presents itself and we let the games begin. Determining What’s Risky and What’s Not The age-old concept of ‘calculated risk,’ seems to be forever handicapped with an inherently diminishing sense of contradiction. However, ‘risk’ that’s ‘calculated’ may very well be the core ingredients found in the recipe of success. Part of responsible or calculated risk-taking is knowing what’s really risky and what’s not. To be able to do that, we have to know where the ‘line’ is. We have to know what’s safe and what’s not, what’s reasonable and what’s not, what’s within the norm and what’s outside of it. To know if I’m pushing the envelope, I have to know where the envelope ends. In other words, we have to have a sense of the boundaries and the limits that define that which is safe and that which is not. Otherwise, I can’t define what I’m doing as the norm, or something that’s other than the norm and exactly how far out from the norm this action sits. Healthy Reasons for Stepping Over the Lines Once those lines are defined, we often make an intentional decision to step over those lines. Sometimes those decisions are a result of our desire to elevate our humanity, or to seize untapped potential and thrust ourselves to new levels. Sometimes our intent is to overcome fears that have dogged us and crush self-esteems that have diminished us. At times we step over these lines because we’re tired of living out mediocre lives and passively slogging through this pathetic existence of ours, so we lift up our heads and set our sights on great things. At other times we decide that we’re not going to passively exit this life without leaving a legacy that will provide a beacon to coming generations, and so we cast off restraint, bury inhibitions and ascend great heights upon which to construct bright beacons. Unhealthy Reasons for Stepping Over the Lines At other times we step over the lines just to step over the lines. Many times it’s nothing more than the challenge of the risk without any real rationale for the risk other than it’s a challenge. It’s about that risk-taking part of ourselves, which in less than thoughtful moments, risks just to risk. Many times that dare-devil part of us is unleashed without any real reason or goal other than we have the chance to risk taking a risk. And so we do it. Risk Has a Result of Fascination However, more often than not, unhealthy risk-taking is driven by something that we’ve become fascinated with or mesmerized by. We’re held in some hypnotic trance by something that’s commandeered our thinking and completely impaired our judgment. We’ve become so taken by some concept, or person, or theory, or goal, or philosophy, or trend that it’s completely hijacked our hearts and totally manacled our minds. And so we ‘play with fire,’ or ‘push the envelope,’ or ‘step over the line,’ or ‘dance with the devil’ out of this blinding fascination rather than doing so out of sound thinking and clear goals. This kind of risk-taking is entirely unproductive and ultimately destructive. The sort of risk-taking that arises from some blinding fascination is nothing more than stupidity running wide open in total darkness down a dead-end road. Risking to achieve great things is what we were designed for. But risking in some hypnotic trance is taking what we were intricately designed for and driving it off a cliff that has no bottom. Therefore, we find our lives in a tragic free-fall, plummeting so rapidly that risk-taking is altogether replaced by survival because it is now our lives that are at risk. Playing with the Dark One of the things that we seem captivated with and frequently entranced by is the darker side of life. There’s something tantalizing about dark things as if they’re the ‘forbidden fruit’ that we know we shouldn’t touch but choose to touch anyway because of the excitement attached to touching them. Too often they become the very ‘dark light’ that we as the moths find ourselves entranced by and fluttering around. And so we ‘step over the line’ out of being entranced rather than out of a desire to elevate our humanity, or to seize untapped potential, or overcome fears, or crush self-esteems that have diminished us, or decide that we’re not going to passively exit this life without leaving a legacy that will provide a beacon to coming generations. We step over the line with no forethought and we end up being forlorn at a result. Halloween is one of those things that captivates many. It’s been granted status as a holiday and because it has, what it is and what it symbolizes has been granted some sort of legitimacy. Halloween and what it embodies has been given some stamp of approval because we’ve stamped it onto the calendar. And so we feel we’ve been granted some element of permission to play with darkness because we’ve got this holiday on the calendar that says we can. As with anything else, we need to think about what we’re doing when we’re deciding to cross a line, whatever that line might be. What is our reason? What is our purpose? If we’re out to raise our lives to the next level or advance others, our reasons likely have legitimacy. But if we’re crossing the line just to say we’ve crossed the line, or we’re doing so out of some captivation with whatever it is that’s captured our fancy, or dabble in something that we feel that’s forbidden, then we’re likely to become captive to those very things and ultimately consumed by them. Playing in the Dark We have unparalleled opportunities to do unbelievable things. But if those opportunities are not tempered by wisdom, driven by right motivation, and held with the recognition that not all opportunities are healthy opportunities, then we are doomed to cross a whole bunch of lines that are going to create a whole lot of problems. We must understand that darkness can readily imitate light, but it cannot begat it. Therefore, by playing in the dark we will always and in every instance be darkened ourselves. http://www.craiglpc.com . Used by permission.

Share 0 One of the reasons I say that it is good for American Christianity to no longer think of itself as a “moral majority” is that such a mentality obscures the strangeness of the Gospel. When a vision of Christian political engagement hinges on building a politically viable network of ideologically united voters, Christ and him crucified will tend to be a stumbling block, not a rallying point. Some sectors of religious activism chafe when we say that Christianity has always been and will always be a minority viewpoint in Western culture. Minorities do not exert influence, they will contend, on the culture or the systems around it. The temptation is to pretend to be a majority, even if one is not. But this is a profoundly Darwinian way of viewing the world, like a frightened animal puffing out its chest in order to seem larger and fiercer, in the hopes of scaring off predators. Such is not the way of Christ. The church of Jesus Christ is never a majority, in any fallen culture, even if we happen to outnumber everyone else around us. The Scripture speaks of a world system that is at odds with the kingdom, a world to which we are constantly tempted to pattern our own intellects and affections after until we are interrupted by the ongoing transformation of the kingdom (Rom. 12:1). The world system around us, the cultural matrix we inhabit, is alien to the kingdom of God – with different priorities, different strategies, and a different vision of the future. If we don’t see that we are walking a narrow and counter-intuitive road, we will have nothing distinctive to say because we will have forgotten who we are. Forgetting who we are and forgetting our mission can leave us particularly vulnerable to false teaching that doesn’t sound false because it comes from “our side.” Consider how, though some leaders of religious activism were and are genuine saints and heroes, many others seem to make a living outdoing one another with outrageous comments. Too often, the race for fundraising success and media platform went to the most buffoonish and outlandish voices on the air. The church of Jesus Christ ought to be the last people to fall for hucksters and demagogues. After all, the church bears the Spirit of God, who gifts the Body with discernment and wisdom. But too often we do. We receive celebrities simply because they are “conservative,” without asking what they are conserving. If you are angry with the same people we are, you must be one of us. But it would be a tragedy to get the right president, the right Congress, and the wrong Christ. That’s a very bad trade-off. The Gospel makes us strange, but the Gospel doesn’t make us actually crazy. If politics drives the Gospel, rather than the other way around, we end up with a public witness in which Mormon talk-show hosts and serially-monogamous casino magnates and prosperity-Gospel preachers are welcomed into our ranks, regardless of what violence they do to the Gospel. They are, after all, “right on the issues.” This sort of Christianization of useful allies isn’t limited simply to those who are alive and breathing. Thomas Jefferson was a great American. He was right about independence from King George, but he was quite wrong about independence from King Jesus. But, for some, the important question is building the coalition, including an artificial cloud of witnesses, more than it is about asking whether these almost-Gospels and counter-Gospels will save or damn. Is it any wonder that some outside our ranks cynically believe that our religion is just an opiate for our voters, to help us hang on to political power? As Christianity grows strange to a secularizing culture, we are free to be prophetic. This means we will live in the tension between prophetic distance and prophetic engagement. We are prophetically distant, in that we don’t become court chaplains for anybody’s political or economic faction. We’re prophetically engaged in that we see the connection between Gospel and justice, just as our forebears in the abolitionist and civil rights and pro-life activist communities did. The priority of the Gospel doesn’t mean that we shrug off injustice or unrighteousness, but it means we fight a different way. But behind all of that, and above all of that, we do what prophets are always called to do: we bear witness. Re-printed from www.russellmoore.com. Used by permission

Share 0 The most obvious red flags are blinding bright and quite large. They are carried by emotional invalids who think they’re going to the Relationship Olympics to win the gold. These off-shoots of dysfunctional families don’t have much self insight. They may think they’re bull fighters from Spain. They may even want to show you their scars. But these are the folks that you want to run from the fastest and the farthest! Hopefully, they don’t yet know where you live, what your phone number is, when you get your mail, where you work, what your mother’s maiden name is, your PIN number, your Facebook password, or even what you look like from the front. But let’s assume that in a moment of temporary insanity, you’ve already had an actual life-threatening five minute conversation with such a person. Let’s even picture the absolute worst case scenario: You told him your children’s names! Allow me to explain the kind of trouble you may be getting into and what the solution to the problem is. When my wife and I were in charge of a singles ministry in a large church, she asked me to “kick out” a man who was quite odd. In fact, during the regular church service, sometimes he would laugh in the middle of the songs. Even more than that, he seemed to be more than a little interested in the children of the single mothers. Our Friday night singles meetings ran an average of 42 people in attendance. Our annual New Year’s Eve party brought out 350 people from around the city. And our “talent show potlucks” brought out about 70-80 people. These were the best of times for this ministry – and the worst! I figured that this dangerously unhinged fellow would be at an upcoming talent show. I asked a friend to bring his video camera to the event. I described the person in question and asked my friend to get him on video. Sure enough the fellow showed up for our talent show, and my friend caught him on camera. The next day my friend gave me a close-up picture of the guy. Then the next Sunday I showed this picture to a member of our congregation who was a cop. I asked my cop friend if he recognized this fellow. “Of course,” he said. “His name is so-and-so and he’s served a lot of time for child molestation. Usually, we find him hanging around the playgrounds of elementary schools.” Whoops! Did I say “the gentleman?” “Dangerously unhinged” may be a better descriptor. I presented all this information in a pastoral staff meeting, and we decided to write a letter, asking him to leave the private property of the church. I wrote the letter and I included a statement that he was welcome to return when his therapist called us, saying that we were safe to have him at the church. Of course, the next Sunday, he showed up at church. Another pastor and I approached him and asked him to follow us. We led him to the front door of the lobby, presented him with the letter and asked him to leave. As he walked away, there was a huge red flag that dangled from his pants, which he promptly pulled out and proudly waved to all who might be looking while ye yelled, “I’ll never tell you where any of them are buried!” Okay, I stretched the truth a little on that last part. But do you have any trouble picturing this man waving a big red flag and yelling, “Charge!”, as he moved onto his next group of unsuspecting do-gooders….I mean good-doers! Oh…I told you that I’d tell you what to do about such a person. Here’s a hint: p-o-l-i-c-e. Actually, I learned a BIG lesson from this experience: Always listen to your wife! Of course, there are many different kinds of red flag carriers. Maybe you’ve met the fellow whose idea of fun is getting drunk at a downtown pool hall and then driving out into the desert where he wants you to sit on his shoulders. Why does he want to do this? Well, just for fun! You’ll sit on his shoulders, each of you will hold out your arms in strange positions and together you’ll pretend to be a cactus. Here’s an obvious one: When I was a counselor at a Christian agency, our front desk administrator received a call from a distressed woman. She said that she didn’t feel safe because her husband would chase her around the house with an axe. She also said that “he’s really a nice guy; I just think he has a spirit of murder on him.” Woah! I don’t remember what happened to that woman, but she didn’t want counseling and she wouldn’t give us any information so that we could call the police. When I lived in New York City, there was a man who regularly marched up and down Broadway with a military uniform on. Let’s just assume that this officer didn’t have a significant other. Of course, on the streets of New York, red flag carriers like this are pretty much all over the place and spotting them isn’t worth giving you any pointers on. We’ll talk about people who should be on medications later on. But what to do with any of the above such characters? They get lonely, too, right? They need friends, too, right? I mean, if someone knocked on your door in the early morning, getting you out bed, demanding that you let her in your house, would you let her in? Maybe you’d say, “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry I was sleeping. I didn’t get to the door fast enough. Please come in and tell me what you’d like to do me out of.” Of course you wouldn’t say that! And why not? In Psalm 18:26, the Psalmist says this about God: “to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.” If God shows Himself to be shrewd to “crooked” people, He just might be onto something! When God sent two spies into the city of Jericho that the Israelites were about to conquer, a prostitute named Rahab hid them in her home in the wall. Her reward was that she and her household were spared when the Israelites brought down the walls of Jericho. But when the people of Jericho asked her if she’d seen the spies, what did she say? This is what Rahab said: She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, the men left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut (Joshua 2:4-7). Does that sound like Rahab “fudged” her answer a little bit? You bet! Did she owe the crooked people of a crooked city an explanation? She sure didn’t! How about this example? When the King of Egypt wanted to destroy the Hebrew male babies and ordered the mid-wives to report when a male baby was born, what did the mid-wives do? Nothing, of course! They simply hid the babies. When the king asked what was going on, how did the mid-wives respond? The midwives answered Pharaoh, “Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive” (Exodus 1:19). Was this another piece of fudge? Again, yes! There are many such examples in the scriptures that speak of the same truth. Remember when Christ said, “But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39:40)? But at Christ’s trial, an official of the High Priest struck Christ on the cheek. What did Christ say? “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me” (John 18:23)? Christ didn’t turn the other cheek. Rather, He was shrewd with the crooked. When we’re dealing with people who clearly have evil or questionable motives, we simply don’t owe them an explanation. Nor do YOU owe an explanation to someone who carries a red flag! Be cool! If a red flag carrier asks you out, you simply say, you’re busy that weekend. God knows you probably have plenty of better things to do than waste your time with someone of questionable character or outright evil motives. What if a red flag carrier asks you for a ride home from the singles meeting, from the club, from wherever? Just say, “I’m sorry; I need to get home immediately.” “But I’m right on your way,” the person responds. “That may be, but I just feel it’s better if I drive alone.” Can they tell you DON’T feel like that? Of course not! You DO feel like that! You’re just expressing your feelings! There are many advantages to simply saying your feelings. You don’t have to defend them! And undoubtedly if you tell this person that you just saw the police come in the back door, the red flag carrier will run so fast, his goose bumps will fall off and jump around on the floor! Again, please keep in mind that with such people, you don’t owe them an explanation about anything . Therefore, these folks are actually the easiest to dispatch with. Here are some tips to make it easy to confirm that they truly carry a red flag: SOME OBVIOUS TIP-OFFS: 1. “Peeveacs”: The person frequently returns to the same pet peeves to make complaints, e.g., “It’s those Democrats, Republicans that always….”, “People who take meds are just crazy,” “Parents these days don’t care about morals.” These statements in themselves aren’t necessarily all bad, but when the person has a real hobby horse that he likes to ride over and over, that’s not good. They have “pet peeves that are out of control.” Let’s just call them “peeveacs.” They carry red flags. Personally, I would just tell them to take their pet peeves on the road where there might be some profit in it. 2. “Avoid Droids”: These people are programmed to avoid talking about certain subjects, e.g., their past, their job history, and any number of things. Or else they will lie flat out and then try to get off the subject. The point is that something seems odd about always avoiding a particular topic, or contradicting themselves, or saying something odd (if you’re even talking to them), e.g., “God told me to go find a tree frog and name him Kaiser Bill (that’s from a Jack Hayford book)!” 3. “Face-Offs”: These carriers are in your face with questions and uninteresting trivia: “Why were you late for the meeting tonight?”, “You seem to have a lot on your mind. Were you thinking something negative?”, “Do you have a girlfriend? I bet you’ve been through a lot with her, huh?”, or “Do you know what the square root of the speed of light is?” 4. “Weakness Wackos”: These people are looking for weaknesses in you. NEVER give them any personal information about you. Any personal information will be turned on you as a weakness, e.g., if a weakness wacko asks if you have kids and you say, “Yes, I have three sweet kids that I’m so proud of,” you’ll hear the weakness wacko respond, “Oh, my. THREE kids. You must be completely overwhelmed. No wonder you look so tired. Three kids would drive anybody crazy. I bet you have a lot of tension in your neck,” etc. You know I’m right, don’t you, as you’ve experienced such people. I know you have! I just smile at these people. I might picture a bowl of spaghetti on their heads, or picture them as babies sitting on the potty (the most powerful time in their lives when people were cheering them on!), or you can “scale” the oddness of their behavior on a scale of one to 10. If they’re only at a 3 or 4, you tell yourself, “Hm-m-m-m, this person seems to really be dropping the ball!” Or if the carrier is at an 8 or 9, you say to yourself, “Oh, my gosh! I wonder if he/she will hit a 10.” The point is that YOU are the powerful one; you’re simply playing games in your mind and not locking into unusual conversations, or not getting confused or defensive. There are many “mental tricks” that you can use to neutralize any negative effects. We’ll cover more later. Prayer works great, too! At any rate, keep this in mind: No matter what brand of red flag carrier you run into, the world will never run out of them! My attitude? Bring them on! They won’t stick around long when I deflect any and all comments back to them, e.g., “You’re really concerned about that, aren’t you?”, “Did you have a hard day?”, or “You really have a strong feeling about that, don’t you?” Actually, these people are way easy to deal with (well a little harder than the other types that we’ll cover, perhaps, but they’re all potentially hard). But not to worry! You’ll have so many options for dealing with unusual people by the time you’re finished with this book, you’ll be HOPING they come around you so you can practice your new skills. In fact, if you keep me posted on how you do, I’ll send you a certificate of Black Belt in Outwitting Red Flag Fanatics. We’ll save it for the end of the book to give you actual instructions on obtaining this coveted certificate of achievement. 5. WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM 1.) Ask them how long they’ve been out. 2.) Ask them if the surgeon botched the lobotomy. Hey, don’t really ask them those first two questions! You don’t need to make these people mad on purpose. Actually, you want to back off of these folks in the most stealth way possible. You’d like to disappear from their radar screen entirely. 1.) Don’t bother giving them an explanation about why you don’t want to go out with them, why you don’t want them to speak with your children, or why you can’t help him/her in any way. 2.) Keep your friends informed about these people and ask them to come up and talk to you, if one of the red flag carriers comes around you. 3.) Tell any authorities in the church, the club, the association, or in any context that you might meet these people. Even if you just see these carriers in your neighborhood, tell you neighbors about your experiences with these people. 4.) If you know their real name, look for registered sex offenders on-line. Also, search court records and newspapers for stories about them. 5.) Always have plans about how to disengage from the carriers: “Excuse me, I came to this meeting tonight to meet as many people as possible,” “Excuse me, I have to go now” Why do you have to go now? Because you FEEL like it! Or “I just don’t feel like having any long conversations tonight. Nothing personal.” Again, they can’t tell you that you DON’T feel like that! You KNOW how you feel! QUESTIONS TO HELP US BE WISE 1. Have you ever met such a person that you needed to run from? 2. What were the characteristics of this person? 3. Did you find out later that the red flag carrier did some kind of harm to someone else? 4. What could stop you from telling a friend that the person he or she is dating seems like a red flag carrier? 5. Would you hesitate to call the police, if you were ever in any real danger? 6. If you’ve already been a victim of a red flag carrier, how have you – or how can you – help yourself to forgive this person? 7. If you forgive someone, do you have to also reconcile with that person? 8. Among the mental tricks that I’ve mentioned, which ones might work best for you?

For many years now, the Lord has put the issue of revival praying upon my heart. Initially, I must admit, my prayers were fairly generic: “O Lord, please revive us.” As I have grown in my approach to prayer, I’ve learned more specific requests, especially in using the Word of God to help format and provide content for my prayers. Psalm 80 and Isaiah 63 and 64 have helped me to petition the Lord for revival with both variety and the power of Scripture behind my requests. Recently I have been praying through the Psalms again. I began to lift before the Lord the words of Psalm 74. To my delight, I found another “revival” prayer. My desire is that this Psalm will provide fuel for the fire of intercession and petition in your life as you beseech God to once again bless us with His Presence in revival. As you pray through Psalm 74, please notice that before major sections I share some comments to help you see the aspects of revival in each passage. I encourage you to move beyond Bible study however, to passionately praying the heart of the Psalmist. The Awareness of the Need for Revival At the beginning of Psalm 74 we find the agonizing realization that God’s presence is not near. In fact, because of sin, there has been a sense of rejection. As is typical in revival praying, there is a cry for God to remember His people and return to them: “Why have You rejected us forever, O God? Why does Your anger smolder against the sheep of Your pasture? Remember the people You purchased of old, the tribe of Your inheritance, whom You redeemed – Mount Zion, where You dwelt. Turn Your steps toward these everlasting ruins, all this destruction the enemy has brought on the sanctuary” (Psa. 74:1-3). The Result of God’s Apparent Absence When sin is accepted in the life of the people of God, the consequences begin to be felt. The enemies of God and His people begin to afflict the nation. Notice that the Psalmist uses the phrase, “Your foes roared.” This reminds us that our ultimate enemy is Satan, the one whom Peter tells us roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he might devour (1 Pet. 5:8). “Your foes roared in the place where You met with us; they set up their standards as signs. They behaved like men wielding axes to cut through a thicket of trees. They smashed all the carved paneling with their axes and hatchets. They burned Your sanctuary to the ground; they defiled the dwelling place of Your Name. They said in their hearts, ‘We will crush them completely!’ They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land. We are given no miraculous signs; no prophets are left, and none of us knows how long this will be” (Psa. 74:4-9). Turning to an Awareness of the God to Whom We Are Praying. An important lesson to learn in prayer is that ultimately we need to be concerned about God and His reputation and the extension of His kingdom and purposes. Revival really isn’t about us having better meetings or being happy. It is about God’s Name being exalted and more praise and honor given to Him on this planet. Notice that the Psalmist asked God to go to work, because He is the one being reviled and mocked through the attacks on His people. Note also that this portion of the Psalm then moves into a wonderful expression of recognizing God’s power and ability to handle any attack. It is as we understand the awesome power of the One we are addressing in prayer, that our faith will grow and we will begin to pray in a way that moves the hand of God. “How long will the enemy mock You, O God? Will the foe revile Your name forever? Why do You hold back Your hand, Your right hand? Take it from the folds of Your garment and destroy them! “But You, O God, are my king from of old; You bring salvation upon the earth. It was You who split open the sea by Your power; You broke the heads of the monster in the waters. It was You who crushed the heads of Leviathan and gave him as food to the creatures of the desert. It was You who opened up springs and streams; You dried up the ever flowing rivers. The day is Yours, and Yours also the night; You established the sun and moon. It was You who set all the boundaries of the earth; You made both summer and winter” (Psa. 74:10-17). The Request for Revival Once again, this prayer is focused upon the honor of God and the integrity of His covenant with His people. The concern is for the Lord and how He is perceived by the nations. The cry for God to rise up and defend His cause will mean that Israel will once again walk in right relationship to their God. When He prospers them, they cry that God will be honored, not only by Israel, but by those nations in the area who see how He protects and prospers His people when they obey Him. “Remember how the enemy has mocked You, O LORD, how foolish people have reviled Your name. Do not hand over the life of Your dove to wild beasts; do not forget the lives of Your afflicted people forever. Have regard for Your covenant, because haunts of violence fill the dark places of the land. Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace; may the poor and needy praise Your name. Rise up, O God, and defend Your cause; remember how fools mock You all day long. Do not ignore the clamor of Your adversaries, the uproar of Your enemies, which rises continually” (Psa. 74:18-23). Our Prayer Here is a prayer to pray that embraces the principles of revival in Psalm 74 and makes them our own: Father, like ancient Israel, we too live in a day in which Your Name is mocked. Many times this happens because of the shortcomings and sins of those of us who are followers of Your holy Son, Jesus. Lord, we confess our sins and the way we have lived our lives as Christians apart from complete dependence upon You. We repent of this shameful self-sufficiency and throw ourselves upon Your mercy. Gracious God, our lifestyle has often led unbelievers to insult and attack Your very nature and character. We ask You, Lord, to rise up and defend Yourself. Would You awaken Your people to the reality of Your presence in our midst and in so doing transform our lives into the character of Christ that You desire to see in us? May Your life lived out in Your Church begin to demonstrate to the world Your love, grace, mercy and overwhelming power on behalf of Your saints. Would You allow the kingdom principles that govern heaven to begin to be made manifest on earth? We ask You to revive Your people so that we may rejoice in You and demonstrate in our lives the awesome, transforming power of Jesus Christ in His Church. Amen. www.harvestprayer.com . Used by permission.

Given the substantial evidence of Scripture to the contrary, the burden of proof is on those who argue people in heaven are unconcerned with and unaware of what is happening on earth. Does Scripture really teach this? Where? Or is the belief that those in heaven are unaware of what happens on earth merely an assumption, one that over decades or centuries has been elevated by some into a doctrine, one not based on Scripture? I believe it is no more than a deduction based on a faulty premise, namely that for heaven to be happy, people in heaven can’t know what’s happening on earth. That argument is therefore worth taking a closer look at. Argument: “It wouldn’t be heaven if we knew of bad things happening on earth. We’re promised there will be no more crying or pain in heaven.” Answers: 1. It’s heaven for God and he knows exactly what’s happening on earth. 2. It’s heaven for the angels and they know what’s happening on earth. 3. Angels in heaven see the torment of hell, but it does not minimize heaven (Rev. 14:10). 4. Abraham and Lazarus saw the rich man’s agonies in hell, but it did not cause heaven to cease to be heaven (Luke 16:23-26). If one can see people in hell without ruining heaven, surely nothing he could see on earth could ruin it. (Note: Luke 16 is in the intermediate state, before the end of the world and the resurrection. It does not therefore necessarily indicate those in the new heavens and earth can see into the eternal lake of fire. However, it suggests those currently in heaven may be able to see into hell, or at the very least be fully aware of its existence.) 5. There is a chasm that those in heaven and hell can’t cross, but they can see what was happening in the other place (Luke 16:23-26). If this is true of heaven and hell, is the same true of heaven and earth? A chasm separating them and preventing direct intervention, yet an ability to see what’s happening in the other world? 6. The promise of no more tears or crying is after the end of the world, after the Great White Throne judgment, after “the old order of things has passed away” and there is no more suffering on earth (Rev. 21:1-4). This passage is not a valid argument for tearlessness in the present heaven, but only in the new heaven and earth. This doesn’t mean those presently in heaven must be unaware of what’s happening on earth. Certainly those in heaven are not frail beings whose joy can be maintained only by sheer ignorance of what is going on in the universe. In fact, even if our knowledge did produce some sadness in heaven (we don’t know for sure it would), the old order hasn’t yet passed away. Heaven is not in its final state. We should not begin by defining heaven as “no sorrow, no concern, no knowledge of suffering” and then dismiss any scriptural indications that undermine that assumption. Christ grieved for people on earth (Mt. 23:37-39; John 11:33-36). Is he no longer capable of doing so because he is in heaven? Or does he still hurt for his people when they suffer? If he can hurt for them, could not we? It is one thing to no longer cry because there is nothing left to cry about. It is something else to no longer cry when there is ongoing suffering on earth. Going into the presence of Christ surely does not make us less compassionate, but more. Hence, it is possible that even with the predominant joy presently in heaven, in light of the fact there is still so much evil and pain in the universe, there could be periodic expressions of sadness in heaven until the evil and pain is permanently gone. 7. Since God is continuously at work on earth, observing saints would have a great deal to praise him for, including people’s spiritual transformations (Luke 15:7,10). If there is rejoicing in heaven about what happens on earth, aren’t the redeemed allowed to participate in the rejoicing? How could they participate unless aware of the cause for celebration? Conclusion: Happiness in heaven is based on being with Christ, gaining accurate perspective, and living in a sinless environment. It is not based on a fundamental ignorance of what is happening on earth or even in hell. Problem: Isaiah 65:17 says in heaven “the former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.” First, Isaiah 65:17 must be weighed against the dozens of other passages of Scripture previously cited in this article and the earlier one. If they clearly teach some things from earth will be remembered in the eternal state, then properly understood this verse does not contradict them. Furthermore, whatever this verse means, it specifically comes after the new heavens and new earth, not before. Hence, it has no bearing at all on the question of whether saints presently in heaven can witness events happening on earth. Isaiah 65:17 is linked to the previous verse: “For the past troubles will be forgotten and hidden from My eyes.” This does not suggest literal lack of memory, as if the omniscient God couldn’t recall the past. God knows everything. Rather, it is like God saying I will remember their sins no more” (Jer. 31:34). It means he will not choose to call to mind or to hold against us our past sins. In eternity, past sins will not plague us or God, nor interfere with God’s acceptance of us. Likewise, both God and we will be capable of choosing not to recall our past troubles and sorrows and sins in a way that would diminish the wonders of heaven. However, it seems likely that recalling the reality of such troubles and sorrows and sins would set a sharp contrast to the glories of heaven, as darkness does to light, as hell does to heaven. This contrast would be lost if the sense of what sorrow is was entirely forgotten. (If we ever forget we were desperate sinners, how could we appreciate the depth and meaning of Christ’s glorious work for us?) It is even possible that an awareness of the perfect justice of hell will enhance the depth of gratitude to God of those in heaven. Even in the new heavens and earth there are memorials to the twelve tribes and the apostles (Rev. 21:12-14). Christ’s nail scared hands and feet in his eternal resurrection body (John 20:24-29) prove his suffering and redemption-and the fact it was necessitated by our sins-will not be forgotten! Hence, these passages clearly preclude the “we’ll remember nothing on earth” understanding of Isaiah 65:17. Every believer’s crowns and rewards will continuously remind us of acts of faithfulness to God done in that window of opportunity on earth. While God will wipe away the tears and sorrow attached to this world, the drama of God’s work in human history will not be erased from our minds. Heaven’s happiness will not be dependent on our ignorance of what really happened on earth. Rather, it will be greatly enhanced by our informed appreciation of God’s glorious grace and justice in what really happened on earth. www.epm.org . Used by permission.

Your husband learned from an early age to deny his true feelings — and to be silent about his deepest needs. Most men long for greater intimacy with their wives – but they have no idea how to find it. There are many secrets men keep from their wives. For instance, if your husband is typical: He wants to be more honest with you, but you often become angry when he tells you how he’s really feeling. Many wives train their husbands to conceal the truth from them. He’s happiest when he’s competent and in control of a situation. He is at his core a protector and provider. These are the two roles Adam assumed at the fall of man and your husband wants desperately to succeed in these two roles He and his friends compare wives. And the man with the best looking wife wins. He’s afraid to admit weaknesses or fears, especially to you. He keeps a sexual scrapbook filled with images and memories. Most men would love to be rid of this scrapbook. At work he’s a genius. At home he’s a dunce. If he shares his true feelings with his guy friends he’ll be ridiculed. He’s tired of being seen as 100% of the problem in your marriage. He experiences God more fully outdoors than he does in a church building. The key to his sexual enjoyment is your enjoyment. If you’re having a good time, he’s having a good time. He hates having to read your mind. Tell him clearly what you want, and then be happy when you get it. He feels unappreciated at home. He’s less excited about church than you are. He feels that you are the expert in religious matters, and he’d rather defer to you. Let’s go back to that first one: many wives train their husbands to conceal the truth from them. When I share this with women they are shocked. Yet it’s true. Here’s how it happens. Men learn as children to hide their true emotions. Five-year-old Patrick falls off his bicycle and skins his knee. The pain is so intense he starts to cry. His friends gather around him and start taunting. “Crybaby!” they yell. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 15, Patrick is sitting with friends in the school cafeteria. He says, “Hey guys, I’m struggling with some fears. Can I share my heart with you?” Patrick is quickly laughed out of the room. He learns to keep is true feelings inside. At age 25, Patrick is married. He says to his wife, “There’s a woman at work who is flirting with me. I want to stay faithful to you honey, but I’ve got to admit I’m struggling.” How does she respond? Silence. Pouting. Depression. Even threat of divorce. The minimum sentence is a night on the sofa. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. Does this really happen? Just ask your husband, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Observe the terror in his eyes as he calculates the damage to his marriage if he tells you the truth. Imagine you’re housebreaking a puppy. Every time he soils the rug he gets a swat. But if he does his business outside you lavish rewards on him. Eventually the puppy does what he’s trained to do—not because he wants to, but because it’s the only way to avoid punishment. Now, imagine you’re training a husband. Every time he tells you the absolute truth he gets a swat. But when he conceals his true feelings, you lavish rewards on him. Eventually he begins carefully managing what he tells you—not because he wants to, but because it’s the only way to avoid punishment. When you penalize your man each time he reveals his true feelings, here’s the message you are sending: “If you want your life to be hell, tell me the truth. But if you want things to go smoothly, lie to me. Tell me only those things that won’t upset me.” Don’t misunderstand: I am not blaming women for every communication glitch in marriage. Husbands do the same things to wives. I know women who can’t tell their husbands the truth because they’re afraid their men will explode. Women suffer too. I get it. I’m simply asking you to open your eyes to the possibility that you are contributing to your husband’s silence. You may have unwittingly trained him to hide his true heart from you. So how can you unlock your husband’s true heart? Make him this promise: “I will never punish you for telling me the truth. Even if you say, “I’m having an affair,” I will not retaliate in anger.” What? How can a woman NOT get mad if her husband says he’s having an affair? Of course, you have every right to be furious if he admits to infidelity. You even have a right to divorce him (Matt. 5:32). You’re not giving him a pass to do whatever he wants – you’re promising to hear what he has to say—without shutting him down. Weeks or months may pass. Then one day he’ll take a chance. “Sweetheart, can we talk about your weight? It’s bothering me.” “I’ve been thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream.” “Let’s talk about how we discipline the kids.” “I’d like to spice up our sex life by trying some new things.” “I’m feeling unsupported at home.” These are not fighting words – they’re your husband’s true feelings. At that moment you’ll have a decision to make. You can erupt in anger and shut him out. You can descend into a depression for having failed yet again. You can go into the bedroom and pout. Or you can calmly listen to what he has to say. Thank him. Hear his concerns and take them to God in prayer. Do what you can to meet his needs. So there’s your precious key – if you really want to know what your husband is thinking, learn to receive the truth with grace. Hear what he has to say without punishing him. Order David Murrow’s book: What Your Husband Isn’t Telling You.

People usually think of “Heaven” as the place Christians go when they die. A better definition explains that Heaven is God’s central dwelling place, the location of his throne from which he rules the universe. Many don’t realize that the present pre-resurrection Heaven and future post-resurrection Heaven are located in different places. The exact location of the present Heaven is unknown, but we’re told the future Heaven will be located on the New Earth. The present Heaven is a place of transition between believers’ past lives on Earth and future resurrection lives on the New Earth. Life in the present Heaven (which theologians call the “intermediate” Heaven) is “better by far” than living here on Earth under the curse (Phil. 1:23). But it’s not our final destination. Will We Live in Heaven Forever? The answer depends on our definition of Heaven. Will we be with the Lord forever? Absolutely. Will we always be with God in the same place Heaven is now? No. In the present Heaven, God’s people are in Christ’s presence, free of sin and suffering and enjoying great happiness: “in your presence there is fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11). But they’re still looking forward to their bodily resurrection and permanent relocation to the New Earth. So, yes, after death we’ll always be in Heaven, but not in the same place or the same condition. To illustrate, imagine you lived in a homeless shelter in Miami. One day you inherit a beautiful house overlooking Santa Barbara, California, and are given a wonderful job doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Many friends and family will live nearby. As you fly toward Santa Barbara, you stop at the Dallas airport for a layover. Other family members you haven’t seen in years meet you. They will board the plane with you to Santa Barbara. Naturally you look forward to seeing them in Dallas, your first stop. But if someone asks where you’re going, would you say “Dallas”? No. You would say Santa Barbara, because that’s your final destination. Dallas is just a temporary stop. At most you might say “I’m going to Santa Barbara, with a brief stop in Dallas.” Similarly, the present Heaven is a temporary dwelling place, a stop along the way to our final destination: the New Earth. (Granted, the Dallas analogy isn’t perfect—being with Jesus and reunited with loved ones will be immeasurably better than a layover in Dallas!) In the Present Heaven Do People Have Physical Forms? Unlike angels, who are in essence spirits (John 4:24; Heb. 1:14), human beings are by nature both spiritual and physical. We don’t occupy our bodies as a hermit crab occupies a shell. We can’t be fully human without both a spirit and a body. Given the consistent physical descriptions of the intermediate heaven and its inhabitants, it seems possible—though debatable—that between our earthly lives and bodily resurrection, God may grant us temporary physical forms. If so, that would account for the repeated depictions of people now in Heaven occupying physical space, wearing clothes and crowns, talking, holding palm branches in their hands, and having body parts (e.g. Luke 16:24, Rev. 7:9). Certainly we do not receive resurrection bodies immediately after death. If we have intermediate forms in the intermediate heaven (and we may not), they will be temps, not our true bodies, which remain dead until the final resurrection. Will We Recognize Each Other in the Present Heaven? When asked if we would recognize friends in Heaven, George MacDonald responded, “Shall we be greater fools in Paradise than we are here?” Scripture gives no indication of a memory wipe causing us to forget family and friends. On the contrary, if we wouldn’t know our loved ones in Heaven, the “comfort” of an afterlife reunion, taught in 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18, would be no comfort at all. In Christ’s transfiguration, his disciples recognized Moses and Elijah, even though they couldn’t have known what they looked like (Luke 9:29-33). This suggests that personality will emanate through whatever forms we take. If we can recognize those we’ve never seen, how much more will we recognize our family and friends? After we die, we will give a detailed account of our lives on Earth (2 Cor. 5:10; Matt. 12:36). This will require better memories, not worse. Those memories will surely include our families and friends! Can We or Should We Talk to Loved Ones in Heaven? In Luke 15 Jesus speaks of rejoicing in the presence of the angels, not BY the angels but in their presence, whenever a sinner repents, suggesting God’s people in heaven rejoice at God’s work in lives on earth. To rejoice at it, they obviously must be aware of it. And Revelation 6:9-11 shows martyrs in Heaven who are clearly aware that God hasn’t yet brought judgment on those who persecuted them, and are wondering why. So they know some of what’s happening on earth. Okay, so if it’s possible someone in Heaven could hear us, is it right to talk to them? First, there’s a huge difference between talking to someone and praying to them, and it’s critical we keep that clear. When people pray to Mary and the saints, they are calling on them as intermediaries, asking them to intervene and exercise power in this world. There is no biblical basis for this. Since 1 Tim. 2:5 says Christ is the only mediator between God and men, it would violate this to pray to those in heaven. We’re not to pray to people or to angels, but only to God. But would it be okay to say, “I’m not sure you can hear this, Mom, but if you can I just want to say thanks for how you always watched out for me. I love you and I’m looking forward to seeing you again and talking and having you show me some special places there.” That’s talking to someone, but it’s NOT praying to them, calling upon them to do something, or to exercise power or talk back. Seeking to call up from the dead or to hear from the spirits of the departed is a forbidden occult practice (Deut. 18:9-14). But that’s very different than doing what I just described. Personally, rather than talking to a loved one, I am more comfortable simply praying to Jesus or the Father (there are biblical examples of praying to each) and saying, “Lord, would you please give my mom a hug, and tell her it’s from me?” Now I think my mom sometimes sees what’s going on here and might hear this when I say it, but I KNOW God hears it. And I trust God to do what He knows is best. Obviously your loved one is on your mind and heart. If your child or wife or husband or parents or best friend are with Jesus, God understands your desire to feel connected to them, and to want them to know of your love for them, and that you miss them and look forward to seeing them again. Are You Looking Forward to Your Forever Home? Though life in the intermediate Heaven will be wonderful, it’s not the place we’re made for, our true eternal home. The Bible promises that we’ll live with Christ and each other forever on the New Earth, where God—Father, Son (eternally incarnate), and Holy Spirit—will be at home with his people: Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. . . . I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. . . . And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.” (Rev. 21:1-3) This passage clearly indicates that ultimately God’s central dwelling place—Heaven—is on Earth. Some, including N. T. Wright, argue that the New Earth shouldn’t be called Heaven. But if Heaven, by definition, is God’s special dwelling place, and “the dwelling of God” will be with humankind on Earth, then Heaven and the New Earth will essentially be the same place. Heaven is also where we see God’s throne, and we’re told that “the throne of God and of the Lamb” will be in the New Jerusalem, on the New Earth (Rev. 22:1). Instead of us going up to God’s place to live forever, God will come down to live with us in our place, literally bringing Heaven to Earth! God’s children are destined for life as resurrected beings on a resurrected Earth. We should daily keep in mind our true destination, our ultimate home. Let’s be like Peter and the early Christians: “according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Pet. 3:13). Randy Alcorn is the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries. Used by permission.

Why do we sometimes make choices that defy any shred of reason or seem void of even the slightest hint of sensibility? More times than we can count we stand in awe of the unwise choices that other people make, shaking our heads in disoriented disbelief and wondering what in the world they were thinking. Sometimes our own choices are perplexingly confusing, defying our own logic and leaving us patently bewildered and entirely befuddled at who we are and what we just did. Clearly, we can be our greatest puzzle and most mysterious mystery. Yet, the most inexplicably confounding situations are those when these rather irrational decisions are made at the expense of others. Sure, we can make wildly poor choices that effect ourselves in ways slight or significant. I suppose it’s within our rights to chart spurious courses that descend to dark places as long as the only person that ends up in those dark places with us is ‘us.’ It would seem that we can “shoot ourselves in the foot” as long as it’s our foot and no one else’s. Yet, far too frequently we shoot a lot of other’s feet other than our own. And so the pressing and rather incendiary question becomes, why would we take someone else down with us? What in the world behooves us to make choices that reach out with arms either long or short, grab someone else in whatever way we do that and drag them down? Why is it that we just can’t leave others alone? To the contrary, we find ourselves incessantly goaded by some potent force that’s sufficiently compelling to override any sense of responsibility and silence any voice of morality to the point that we pull others in and push them down with issues that aren’t even theirs? What compels us to make choices that are certain to seize the course of the life of another and set their path on some dizzying descent? Self-Preservation When life presses us with an unnerving intensity we are reflexively prone to revert to defensive position of self-preservation. Sure, it’s quite easy to be graciously gracious and heroically selfless when the cost of doing so isn’t all that significant. We can look quite the part when we don’t have a lot of skin in the game or when we know that we’re not likely to be skinned while we’re in the game. We live within limits that are long on self and short on others, so it doesn’t take long before we take the shortest route to the closest place of safety. If we ruthlessly strip away all the pleasantries and pretenses that we gaudily wrap ourselves in we will find that self-preservation lays seated underneath it all as the irreparably non-negotiable objective that is so core to the base side of ourselves that we will instinctively sacrifice others to insure it. Therefore, as the cost/benefit analysis swings away from us we’re more likely to gradually or not so gradually swing the cost over onto others. We’re noble, but noble to a point. We’re generous, but only to the degree that what we’re getting sufficiently offsets what we’re giving. We will extend ourselves in ways that appear magnanimous and philanthropic as long as we don’t have to extend ourselves beyond arm’s reach of ourselves. And these points where we pull up and stop are most often based on our tolerance for sacrifice and the degree to which we’re willing to absorb pain. There comes a point where the responsibility of accountability is just a bit too revealing, where the selflessness of putting ourselves aside is pinching our egos a bit too hard, and where the concept of sacrifice and the ‘good of our fellowman’ hasn’t given us all that much in return, if it’s given us anything at all. Our Expectations When the world around us doesn’t reciprocate our simple acts of simply being a ‘good person’ in the manner in which we feel it should, we begin to become toxically jaded and we take a darker turn into ourselves. When the world is perceived by us as intrinsically greedy, when it seems that every action is driven by a darkly covert agenda, and when the rampant selfishness appears wholly unrepentant and entirely irreparable we pull inward and we put up impenetrable walls. And in putting up the walls we would be quite wise to ask if the things that we find so aberrant and awful are indeed the very things we ourselves engage in. It may well be that our own greed is worse than those that we condemn because we too often demand that we dictate what we give to those around us, we demand how the they will respond to what we have given them, all the while condemning the world of the very offenses that we ourselves are equally guilty of. If we are not aware of such caustic distortions, we will make it about us. And in making it about us we’re foolishly led to believe that all of our many cherished expenditures are never expended because they never move outside of us. It’s all about us investing all of ‘us’ back into all of ‘us.’ This self-sabotaging, self-absorbing cycle creates an ever-hardening pattern where the deepening pain that we are inflicting on others and the manner in which we are blithely diminishing their lives begins to go entirely unnoticed. Often we are on the receiving end of such behaviors, and sometimes we’re the ones dishing them out. We’d be keenly wise to recognize it in others so that we can more prudently deal with the behaviors as we cope with the impact of them. But, we’d be ever wiser to recognize such behaviors in ourselves. We Are Too Expensive When we make it about us, someone, somewhere is going to go down simply because the cost of being about ‘us’ is a cost that will always extend itself beyond ‘us.’ We don’t have the life currency to make it about us, so we borrow or steal that ‘currency’ from other places and other people. Despite our frequently supercilious arguments to the contrary, we simply do not have the inherent capacity to generate everything that we need. However astounding we might perceive it to be, our capacity to independently generate resources will perpetually fall short of the resources that we actually need. Therefore, as our accumulated needs swiftly exhaust our scant resources we are forced by our limitations to reach outside of ourselves to obtain those resources. And in either borrowing or stealing those resources from someone else, that ‘someone’ is going down as we attempt to push ourselves up. Need We Dare Remember We’ve regularly failed to realize that being a good person pays exceedingly generous dividends far beyond anything we can borrow or steal. Riches born of sacrifice fill the coffers of heaven. Yet we miss those dividends because they’re not exactly the ones that we’re looking for, or they’ve come at some cost when we’d much prefer to receive them free of charge. Often the riches generated are held until time or attitude would render the delivery of them as far more meaningful for us, yet delayed gratification feels much the same as no gratification. And so, cynicism wins the day, pessimism reigns and we’re going to take others down with us without even recognizing that we’re doing so. It’s quite sad enough that we do things to take ourselves down and shoot ourselves in the foot. Yet, it’s infinitely more tragic that we do that to others. We cannot control the actions of others as they perpetrate such behaviors upon us. Yet, we can control ourselves. So to avoid taking others down we’d be wise to look at the state of our heart, take the temperature of our attitude, and see if our soul is still breathing because we may find that they are all in some state that we’d much prefer them not to be. And once we’ve inventories them alive again, maybe we’ll realize that to sacrifice is to fill the coffers of heaven which will spill over into the vault of our soul. When that happens we have no need to push others down because we, by virtue of our sacrifices, have pushed ourselves up without stepping on anyone in order to do it. © 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

Can you believe that your thinking can dynamically impact your physical, spiritual and emotional health? As a Christian neuroscientist, this information is transformational. We cannot afford not to ”bring all thoughts into captivity to Christ Jesus (2nd Corinthians 10:5)! Proverbs 23:7:”What man thinks is what he really is.” The above statistics concerning the impact of your thought life on your health are staggering and eye-opening because it also means that only 2-25% of human mental and physical illnesses come from the environment and genes! Scientists are discovering the precise pathways by which changes in human consciousness (thinking) produce changes in our brain and bodies. This consciousness activates our genes and changes our brain. Science even shows that thoughts, with their embedded feelings, turn sets of genes on and off in complex relationships. We take the facts, experiences and the events of our lives and assign meaning to them through thinking—we are reacting to the events and circumstances of life. We may have a fixed set of genes in our chromosomes, but which of those genes is active and how they are active has a great deal to do with how we think and process our subjective experiences, i.e. our reactions. Our thoughts, with their intertwined emotions, produce words and behaviors, which in turn stimulate more thinking, choices and thought building. We are constantly reacting to the circumstances and events of this life and as this cycle goes on, our brains become shaped in a process that will either be in a positive direction or a negative direction. So it is the quality of our thinking and choices, our reactions, which determine our brain architecture. This means that the quality of our thinking (consciousness) affects the shape or architecture of the brain and resultant quality of health in our minds and bodies. Science and scripture show how we are wired for love and optimism (scripture: “we are made in His image”; scientifically: see my book “The Gift in You”), and so when we react by thinking negatively and making negative choices, the quality of our thinking suffers, which means the quality of our “brain architecture” suffers, and, in turn, our health. Taking this to a deeper level, research shows that DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts. As you think those negative thoughts about the week ahead that hasn’t happened yet, or that person who hasn’t actually said or done anything yet, (even in the absence of the concrete stimulus) the toxic thinking has changed your brain wiring in a negative direction and thrown your mind and body into stress. According to Dr Herbert Benson, MD, and president of Harvard Medical School’s Mind-Body Institute (http://www.massgeneral.org/bhi/research/), toxic thoughts lead to stress, which affects our body’s natural healing capacities. Toxic thinking literally ‘wears down’ the brain and the rest of the body. The Institute of Heartmath discusses an experiment titled “Local and nonlocal effects of coherent heart frequencies on Conformational Changes of DNA.” This study showed that thinking and feeling anger, fear and frustration caused DNA to change shape according to thoughts (that is thoughts with their intertwined feelings). The DNA responded by tightening up, becoming shorter and switching off many DNA codes, which reduced quality expression; we will feel ‘shut down” by negative emotions and our body feels this too. What was really exciting about this study is the fact that the negative “shut down” or poor quality of the DNA codes was reversed with feelings of love, joy, appreciation and gratitude! The researchers also found that HIV positive patients with these positive thoughts and feelings had 300,000 times the resistance! So when we make a poor quality thinking decision—i.e. a toxic thought—such as unforgiveness, bitterness or irritation, we change the DNA and subsequent genetic expression affecting the shape of the wiring in our brain in a negative direction. This immediately puts the brain into protect mode and the brain translates these poor quality toxic thoughts as stress. This stress will then manifest itself in our bodies. Stress on the Your dictionary website, is defined as “a condition of mental and physical tension or strain, as depression or hypertension, which can result from a reaction to a situation in which a person feels threatened, pressured etc. Synonyms for stress include anxiety, nervousness, fearfulness, apprehensiveness, impatience, fear, tenseness, or restlessness. It is our mind and body’s response to toxic thinking, and even a little bit of stress from a little bit of toxic thinking has far reaching consequences for mental and physical health. There is much research proving this. Reaction is the key word above, which I discussed in the first few paragraphs. And here is the caveat: you cannot control the events or circumstances of your life but you can control your reactions. And controlling those reactions means the difference between healthy minds and bodies and sick minds and bodies because, according to research, 75-98% of mental and physical illnesses come from our thought lives! Here are just a few statistics confirming this number: A study by the American Medical Association found that stress is a factor in 75% of all illnesses and diseases that people suffer from today. The association between stress and disease is a colossal 85% (Dr Brian Luke Seaward). The International Agency for Research on Cancer and the World Health Organization has concluded that 80% of cancers are due to lifestyles and are not genetic, and they say this is a conservative number (Cancer statistics and views of causes Science News Vol.115, No 2 (Jan.13 1979), p.23). According to Dr Bruce Lipton (The Biology of Belief, 2008), gene disorders like Huntington’s chorea, beta thalassemia, cystic fibrosis, to name just a few, affect less than 2% of the population. This means the vast majority of the worlds population come into this world with genes that should enable the to live a happy and healthy life. He says a staggering 98% of diseases are lifestyle choices and therefore, thinking. According to Dr H.F. Nijhout (Metaphors and the Role of Genes and Development, 1990) genes control biology and not the other way around. According to W.C Willett (balancing lifestyle and genomics research for disease prevention Science (296) p 695-698, 2002) only 5% of cancer and cardiovascular patients can attribute their disease to hereditary factors. According to the American Institute of health, it has been estimated that 75 – 90% of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress related problems (http://www.stress.org/americas.htm). Some of the latest stress statistics causing illness as a result of toxic thinking can be found at: www.naturalwellnesscare.com/stress-statistics.html An undisciplined mind is one filled with a continuous stream of thoughts, worries, fears and distorted perceptions, all of which trigger degenerative processes in the mind and body. Paul described the power of being proactive with our thought lives in his letter to the Philippians: Philippians 4:4-8: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Unless you’re reading this with a flashlight from six feet under, you probably experience worry or anxiety. Everyone does! But once we understand how we’re making ourselves worried, we can teach ourselves to be free from worry. First, if you’re worrying, ask yourself, “What specific thoughts am I thinking?” Since God isn’t worried, these thoughts are probably lies or distortions of the truth. There are ways and there is a time and place to challenge unhealthy thoughts, but try this first. Rather than challenge these thoughts, just note them: A worrisome thought is simply a mental event. Thoughts get on the bus, and thoughts get off the bus! Once you’ve identified the thoughts, you can imagine that they’re temporarily projected onto a movie screen – in black and white sentences. The movie is a “short” and can’t do anything to you but come to an end! Usually, there’s more than one worrisome thought. Picture the words running forward and then running backwards. Run them forward in five seconds, then backwards in five seconds. Pretty soon, you’ll become accustomed to the powerless black and white thoughts speeding back and forth. You’ll also notice that nothing has changed about the bus ride! Look at the vivid colors out the window and realize that you are a permanent spiritual being with a vulnerability to thinking temporary worrisome thoughts – just like everybody else! Did the thoughts get off the bus yet? I wouldn’t be surprised! Or imagine that your mind is a chessboard. Picture the board. Picture that the thoughts are pieces that move around the board. If these thoughts engender worrisome emotions, are you going to make choices based on these emotions? Are you going to rehearse them in your head and speak them out, as if they’re true? Or are you going to make choices based on your conviction of who you are, on your faith in God, on your values, on your plans, and on your hopes and dreams? Worry or anxiety is a form of fear. Let’s spend a moment thinking about the causes of worry. Here’s a clever acrostic that gives us some clues: F – Fusion – We tend to think that our thoughts are real. We fuse them with our emotions and with our false and un-researched thoughts about reality. E – Evaluation – We label according to our preconceived notions. Stephen Covey: We see the world not as it is, but as WE are. Thoughts come and go and so do my evaluations. A – Avoidance – When we avoid, we add to our misery. We tell ourselves, “I must not feel any anxiety.” R – Reason giving – We make emotion-based decisions. Here’s a well-rounded approach for defeating worry: 1. Physiological: Calm your body. Breathe slowly and concentrate on your breathing. Picture times when you felt very peaceful. I call these “peaceful scenes.” We all go into a “trance” 3-4 times a day, anyway. Go to your peaceful scene for a few minutes. Discuss with a psychiatrist or with a Primary Care Physician who is familiar with psychotropic medication and consider the benefit of balancing the chemicals of your neurotransmitters. If the worry is moderate to severe, you may benefit from certain anti-depressants that also have anti-anxiety effects and from an “as needed” sedative. 2. Cognitive: Correct your thinking. I tell people to “re-tread your head” with the word of God or with what you know to be the truth. If you don’t know the truth, make it your research project to discover the truth. You might consult with friends that you trust. 3. Behavioral: Confront your fears. When you don’t confront them, you make them even more intense. Perhaps, ask yourself, “What have I done that was scary that eventually wasn’t scary?” 4. Spiritual: Pour out your heart to God, pursue normal discipleship such as reading the Bible, praying, fellowshipping with other Christians, absorbing Christian and wholesome music into your soul, and listening to your favorite pastors. If you’re already doing this – or trying to do this – and nothing seems to be working, then simply be mindful of God whenever you’re doing something you enjoy. Start including thoughts of God in your jogging, your painting, your writing, you’re talking with others, or with anything that you enjoy. Here are some specific tips for overcoming social anxiety, which is very common. Of course, there are different kinds of social anxiety. These techniques will help you with many of them: Survey method: ask friends to tell you their experiences. They’re probably not much different from yours! Double-standard technique: Pretend that a friend is having the same problem that you are and talk to him or her in a compassionate way, as you normally would, anyway! Feared fantasy: Play out the nightmare scenario. Face the fear and see what happens! Self-disclosure: Don’t hide your anxiety. Share it with others! Develop a hierarchy and gradually confront avoided situations. Teach yourself conversational skills. This means talking to your family, colleagues, those you work out with, or other social situations. You’ve just changed the focus from worry to skill development! Ask yourself, “What can I control and what can’t I control.” If you focus on what you can control, your circle of influence will expand. Have a menu of more positive things to think about. For example, “peaceful scenes” can be on the menu! 10. Designate a specific time to worry. Simply set aside ten minutes to play the negative movie backwards and forwards or even just to worry as hard as you can and get it over with! 11. Sing out the worrisome thought(s). Your thought(s) may become quite entertaining! 12. Comedy channel: Imagine that somebody silly is telling you these things. Once you get tired of all the silliness, you can always change the channel. 13. Scale your worry: “On a scale of zero to ten, how high would my worry be if I were about to jump out of a plane?” Now you’re concentrating on the scale instead of your worry. Watch the number go up and down and notice what you’re doing or thinking and doing differently when the number is lower. 14. Make it a point to notice when you feel relaxed. Enjoy these times. Ask yourself what you’re doing and thinking differently. Try to expand these times. Get used to them! 15. Try this experiment: Try to make something happen by thinking it. Keep yourself posted on how successful you are! 16. Practice “mindfulness” : Step back from your experience. Be an observer. “I’m on the bank of a river, leaves are floating by, and I’m putting thoughts and feelings on leaves as they’re floating by.” This brief article has not considered panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety in relationships, or other manifestations of worry. Nor have we examined more specific medical interventions. Perhaps, we will consider these other worry related topics in a future blog. But to begin mastering the above “interventions” is a great start – or finish – to achieving victory over worry! Anxiety can be gone! Resources: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey Anxiety Gone: The Three C’s of Anxiety Recovery, by Stanley Hibbs Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns Other resources include seminars by Hibbs, Burns, and others over the years; Bible reading; and 30 years of experience as a Christian counselor.

“And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” Philippians 4:8 LB One out of four teens have been victims of cyber-bullying! Here’s a clear picture of the problem and some insightful ways to stop it from happening to your child! Cyberbullying is a broad term and is any form of abuse repeatedly directed at a child through technology by another child. This could be online through social media, like Facebook, or via text messages on their mobile phones. Some of the forms that cyberbullying can take include: Sharing and posting videos or photos on social media of a person that are cruel in intention or violent. Sharing and posting videos or photos on social media or via text that are sexual in nature or display violent sexual behavior. Making threats of physical harm towards a person or telling someone to kill themselves via email, text, or social media. Attacking a person online or via text based on their physical appearance, religion, sexuality, or mental ability. Impersonating another person online in order to trick someone into revealing personal details, and then sharing it with others. Hacking into another person’s social media accounts or email in order to send untrue and cruel messages to others. With 92% of teens reporting going online at least once daily and 24% stating that they are “online constantly,” the amount of potential exposure to cyberbullying is high. Unlike bullying, cyberbullying can be unrelenting and seem inescapable since it is online and on phones. It can happen at anytime of day, follows pre-teens and teens home after school, and is often completely anonymous. Cyberbullies can create fake social media profiles and download apps that provide temporary disposable numbers that allow them to send threatening text messages without the victim knowing the identity of their attacker. In addition to the anonymity, messages, images, and videos can also be spread very quickly via social media and group text messages. Once the information has been shared it’s impossible to delete all of the occurrences of it since it can be downloaded by individuals and repeatedly uploaded. How to Stop Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is an issue, but it’s one that can be stopped. There are many online resources to help both parents and children cope with cyberbullying and prevent it. What teens can do… …if they are a target of cyberbullying: Don’t blame yourself for the unfair treatment you are receiving. Bullies have often been the victims of bullying themselves and they treat you poorly so that they can feel control and power. Don’t retaliate with more cyberbullying, it’s best to just ignore a cyberbully if you can. You can block them on social media and block texts from them if you don’t want to see it. Bullies are looking for a reaction when they attack a person, if you turn the other cheek they go away. If the cyberbullying is getting out of hand and it feels like it is too much for you to handle talk to a trusted adult and ask for advice. Keep a record of the cyberbullying in case you decide to report the cyberbullying to authorities. With the proof of cyberbullying directly on your phone and computer it can be easy to prove that you are being threatened and attacked by a cyberbully. Report offensive social media posts to the company. If you don’t like what is being posted about you report it. If you are being harassed by text by anonymous numbers you can screenshot the text, block the number, and look it up in a reverse phone lookup app, like CallerSmart. In our app you can also report a harassing number by leaving your feedback so that others will know to also block the number. …if they see cyberbullying: Don’t become a part of cyberbullying by sharing posts, texts, images, or videos which hurt others. Take a stand against cyberbullies. Support the person who is being bullied, take the time to listen to them and let them know that it’s not their fault. Even if you aren’t friends with the person being bullied, reach out and let them know that it’s not their fault and that how they are being treated is not right. Report the offensive behavior. Most social media sites, like Facebook and Instagram, have made it easy to report posts that are inappropriate. …to protect themselves from cyberbullying: Be careful with what you share online about yourself. If you share overly personal information publicly and even privately via text or private message a person could use it against you in the future. Don’t let other people use your smartphone since it contains personal information and people can access your social media accounts from it. Pre-teens and teens usually won’t share what is happening to them with their parents so it’s important for parents to pay attention to any changes in their child’s attitude and talk about the effects of bullying and what to do. Even if you don’t think your child is a victim, they could be seeing cyberbullying everyday. What parents can do… …if your child is being cyberbullied: Tell your child that you love them and make them feel safe and supported in their home life. Talk with them and listen to what’s happening to them. Encourage them to ignore and block the cyberbully and not to retaliate. If the problem continues help your child collect evidence and discuss reporting the cyberbully to school authorities. Go over setting up stronger privacy settings in social media accounts and make sure they know how to report posts that they find hurtful and cruel. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Hearing that your child is being tormented can inspire a range of emotional reactions, one of them being anger. Make sure to be thoughtful and a good listener, don’t react quickly. This will only create more confrontation and problems. …if their child is a cyberbully: Your child may be a cyberbully because they were at one time bullied, either in person or over the internet. Talk to them about what they are doing and how they are hurting other people, make sure that they understand the severity of their actions. Talk to them about why they are doing what they are doing and listen to them, don’t react out of anger. Monitor their online and phone behavior to make sure that they are not continuing this type of behavior. If the problem persists and it doesn’t seem like an isolated offense involve your school authorities in order to show your child that this is a major problem. You may want to seek professional counseling to help your child overcome their problem. …to prevent cyberbullying from happening: Keep the family computer in a public area where you spend a good deal of time. Encourage “offline time” with your family. Try to have everyone disconnect for an extended period of time every evening, this could include having family dinner or practicing some shared hobbies together. Have open conversations about bullying and cyberbullying, discuss why it’s wrong and what your child should do if they see it. “Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32 LB Make sure your child knows how to maintain their “digital reputation” and knows not to share personal information that they wouldn’t want made public with anyone. Discuss how to use privacy settings and talk about how to block unwanted content and texts. Teens can report offensive posts, images, and videos to the social media company, they can report and block harassing phone numbers in a community phone book. For more information on preventing cyberbullying and what to do if you’re experiencing cyberbullying ConnectSafely.org and the Cyberbullying Research Center has many resources for teens, parents and educators.

No one goes into marriage with the idea of hurting the other person; however, sometimes circumstances out of our control arise. Pornography and sexual addiction is a serious issue that hurts everyone involved. As you begin to deal with your spouse’s addiction, you may find yourself asking, what do I do now? To help you answer those questions, here are 11 important relationship tips to remember as you move forward in your own healing. 1. Don’t isolate. After your learn of your spouse’s addiction, one feeling you might experience is wanting to shut people out and isolate yourself. No matter how hard it is, now is not the time to shut people out of your life. Build a support group around you, and find your tribe where you can talk openly and share how you’re feeling. The fact is, this is a hard time, one that can leave you questioning not only your relationship, but your self-worth. A therapist, close friend, support group, or spiritual leader are some great resources to turn to as you move forward on this path of recovery. 2. Learn more about addiction. The more you can learn about your spouse’s addiction and why they turned to pornography, you’ll help in your own recovery by understanding their addiction has nothing to do with you. In many cases, spouses of addicts find themselves asking why they weren’t good enough, sexy enough, smart enough, thin enough—the list is endless—and if because of their so called “failings” drove their spouse towards pornography. The answer to those questions: no, it wasn’t you. Addiction affects the brain by flooding it with dopamine and over time, the user must look at more pornographic images to get the rush. Because of that, addicts become trapped in a repetitive cycle of shame, compulsion, and betrayal. 3. Understand the trauma symptoms. After learning of your spouse’s betrayal, you may experience relational trauma. This is one of the hardest traumas a person endures because it shatters your internal world and leaves you questioning who you can trust. While you’re dealing with this trauma, you may find yourself in a fear cycle of fear, obsession, and control. You may experience some of the following reactions while in the fear cycle: unhealthy eating, monitoring your spouse’s behavior, self-harm, and isolation. If you’ve found yourself turning towards unhealthy behaviors, now is the time to turn to your therapist, support group, or close friend to open up to on how your feeling. This is also a good time to create your own recovery plan and move forward in practicing self-care. 4. Create your own recovery plan. For those who are struggling with addiction, we recommend the create a Plan Of Recovery. This is equally important for spouses to help them set goals and work through their own healing. Take time to set your boundaries, practice positive self talk, write in a journal, pick up a hobby or learn a new skill; whatever brings you joy and allows you to take some time for yourself. This means putting yourself first—at least for a few minutes each day. Remember as you move through the healing process, be compassionate with yourself. You are dealing with your own emotions, sense of betrayal, and need time to heal. 5. Finding their own support group and marriage counselor. Sexual addiction counseling is important, even for those struggling to cope with the pornography and sexual addiction of a loved one. During this time, spouses of addicts are dealing with their own emotions of denial, hurt, anger, and guilt. While working through this difficult time, there are 2 important factors to keep in mind: this is not your fault, and you can overcome this. Remember, you don’t have go through this alone and there are people out there who understand what you’re going through. Take steps today to find help and move forward in your own recovery. 6. Self-care. While you’re moving through the path of recovery, taking time to practice self-care is critical to your healing. This can be particularly harder for women, who tend to have a difficult time putting themselves first, but taking even 5 minutes daily to focus on yourself can do a lot to boost your recovery. If you’re still struggling with the idea of practicing self-care, consider the words of inspirational coach, Eleanor Brownn: “Self-care is NOT selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” By taking time to indulge in doing something for yourself—reading, writing in a journal, spending time on a hobby—you’re allowing yourself time to recharge and, in the end, will be better able to take care of those in your life. 7. Positive self talk. During this difficult time, you may find your thoughts turning negative and filling with self-blame. This can be devastating to your own recovery and further destroy your sense of self-worth. Instead, practice positive self talk and compassion towards yourself. Practice your positive affirmations each morning when you get up, and at night right before you go to sleep. It is also recommended you practice your affirmations in front of a mirror. Louise Hay has a lot of great affirmations you can use to help you in your healing. To get you started, here are a few affirmations: I replace my anger with understanding and compassion. I choose forgiveness. I draw from my inner strength and light and take each day at a time. I am a better and stronger person from the hardship I’ve gone through with my family. 8. Set your boundaries. Setting boundaries is an important skill to have for building well-rounded relationships and knowing yourself better. Weigh your limits and create a list of things that make you uncomfortable or stressed in all areas of your life—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. As you begin to set your boundaries, also include the things you’re willing to compromise on and those you’re not. 9. Connect with community. Sometimes, when you’re feeling lost and have no control of the situation, the best thing you can do is to step away from your problems and help someone else (at least for a little while). Take some time each week or month to go out and volunteer at your local library, shelter, or community center. If you’re unsure where to volunteer, check out to learn of opportunities around your area. 10. Practice open communication. Throughout your healing, communication between you and your spouse is essential. Practice open communication in a non-aggressive way by saying, “This happened and the way it made me feel was…” While you’re having these deeper conversations with your spouse, it’s also equally important for both of you to listen to what the other person is saying. If you’re both fighting to be heard, but not listening to the other how are you going to solve any problems? 11. Be supportive of your spouse. This will take time, but try to be as supportive of your spouse as you can. Remember that they are also healing from pornography and sexual addiction. This is a process and rebuilding trust takes time. During this time, practice being present and not dwell in the past. Instead focus on what is happening now and enjoy the time you’re spending with your spouse, family, and friends. Pornography and sexual addiction hurts everyone involved and can leave everyone involved numb and unsure where to begin to heal. The key is to take it one day at a time. This is a long and difficult process, but each day you and your spouse have to make the choice to continue in your recovery. Learn more about the recovery process and steps you can take by downloading our free ebook, The First Step: Taking the First Step Toward Recovery. www.lifestar.com . Used by permission.