What should elders be like? Outside of the Bible, you’d be hard pressed to find a better, sweeter, more uplifting explanation than the one given by David Dickson The Elder and His Work. Chew on these words. Be encouraged. Be challenged. Be inspired. Pray for grace. 1. The office and work being spiritual, it is necessary that elders should be spiritual men. It is not necessary that they be men of great gifts or worldly position, of wealth or high education, but it is indispensably necessary that they be men of God, at peace with Him, new creatures in Christ Jesus; engaged in the embassy of reconciliation, they must be themselves reconciled. We must love the Master, and the work for the Master’s sake. If we do love it, it will be a happy service because it is a willing service. And as our souls prosper, our work will prosper; the joy of the Lord will be our strength… 2. We should have a good knowledge of the Word of God, and be able to give a reason for the hope that is in us. Not that we must be theologians, able to grapple learnedly with all heresies or controversies; but we should be well read in our Bibles, and able to do what Aquila and Priscilla did to Apollos. Elders should be men to a certain extent “established, strengthened, settled” (1 Peter 5:10), not “novices”, whom the elevation to office in the church is likely to make heady, forward, crotchety, conceited. For very young men and very young Christians, other useful though humbler spheres are more suitable. It is a very great help to an elder to have been for some years previously a Sabbath-school teacher, and thus accustomed to study the truth and to apply it. Such work will also test his intelligence and interest in divine things. If an elder is to discharge the duty laid upon him in Scripture – “to reprove, rebuke, and exhort” (2 Tim.4:2), to “be able by sound doctrine to exhort and convince gainsayers” – the Word of God must be the man of his counsel, his daily companion… 3. Elders should be men of common sense, knowing when to speak and when to hold their tongues. Even grace does not give common sense, a little of which would settle many controversies and heresies in the church of Christ. Men of points and pugnacity are very annoying in a session or congregation, and they may rise to be the terror of presbyteries and other church courts. They may love the truth at heart – and we believe they often do – but they love fighting too. For such men the grave and quiet duties of the eldership have little or no charm. A carping, censorious spirit is to be watched and prayed against in all of us: it is often the precursor or companion of backsliding in doctrine or life. An uneasy conscience likes to find faults in others. Having many different characters and tempers to deal with, we need as elders to be men of a meek and quiet spirit, not going from one extreme to another – men of practical wisdom and sanctified common sense, and thus able to judge matters calmly and not as partisans. 4. We must be consistent in our life and conversation; we must be clean that bear the vessels of the Lord; men of good report, both with those who are without and those who are within the church; model members of it; “examples to the flock” in faith, hope, and charity, ruling our own children and our own houses well. In these days wolves find it profitable to put on sheep’s clothing, for a certain amount of religious profession is a help and not a hindrance to a man’s worldly prosperity. the church and the world are thus in danger of fraternizing, and it is always the church that loses… The usefulness of an elder will depend in the long run more on his character than on his gifts and knowledge. Quiet Christian consistency will give weight to his words of advice and be a daily lesson to all around. His walk and conversation, his style of living, his companions and friends, his geniality, his amusements will all have an important influence, not only on his own family, but on the people of his district and congregation. young people especially notice, and get good or evil from, much that they do not speak about to others. They should learn from us what a Christian is like, not by the frequent use of pious expressions, but by the clear, transparent outflow of a life “hid with Christ in God”. Brethren, “what manner of persons ought we elders to be in all holy conversation and godliness?” (2 Peter 3:11). 5. Last, not least, we should be men of deep sympathy – having not only human kindness in our hearts, but that sanctified and consecrated. Having experience of the ups and downs of human life, we should have sympathy with human hearts, ready to “weep with them that weep and rejoice with them that rejoice” (Rom.12:15). The world is not governed by logic, and to do much good in it, especially as Christian men and elders, the words of truth we speak must come warm from our hearts, or they fall cold and pointless. It was once said to me of another, ‘He’s a good man, but somehow he never reminds me of Jesus.’ Much of our usefulness will lie not only in knowing the wants, natural and spiritual, of our people, but in our having that heart-sympathy with them that will make us open our hearts to them, and will lead them to open their minds and hearts to us in return. We can best learn this by living in fellowship with him who was displeased with his disciples when they rebuked the mothers for bringing their little children to Him, and when they wished the hungry multitude to be sent away unfed. Taken from David Dickson, The Elder and His Work, pages 30-38.

HOW TO BE GOOD AND ANGRY “We are flawed people in relationships with flawed people, living in a fallen world, but with a faithful God. Christ in us will empower us to increasingly engage our fallen planet with the restorative anger of love, the rescuing anger of mercy, and the advocacy anger of justice. May this conference and study guide be instrumental in helping us grow in Christ likeness, reflecting His love and His anger at the same time.” BEING GOOD AND ANGRY “One of the necessary components of our broken world is anger. Because if this world is broken, if it’s not the way it’s supposed to be, then it’s right at points to be motivated by anger. Anger is not just a bad thing; anger is also a very good thing, and we better know the difference. God’s grace is not supposed to make us unangry. God’s grace is supposed to make us good and angry, at the same time.” TWO PARALLEL ANGERS “You see people’s anger; and then you see moments when God is clearly angry, but it’s something good, because God is trying to preserve this world that He has made. The drama of Scripture in a real way is the drama of these two angers living alongside one another, and you just know they’re going to explode in a moment.” God’s righteous anger is the hope of the universe; our unholy anger is our doom. OUR STRUGGLE WITH ANGER “If you ever want to understand your anger, you have to look this way (inward), because your anger is connected not just to events outside of you; your anger is connected to something going one inside of you. You will never gain ground with your anger unless you get this.” Anger is connected to our desires and therefore anger is connected to worship. (Romans 1:25) WHEN GOOD THINGS BECOME BAD THINGS “I was never meant to have a life that is driven by what I want and where I want it and when I want it and how I want it and why I want it and all of those things. I was meant to live in the transcendent big sky country of God’s existence and God’s grace and God’s will and God’s plan.” A desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing. A GOOD DESIRE BECOMES A RULING DES IRE “I want _____.” (Desire) ?“I must have______.” (Demand) ?“I will have______.” (Need) “You should______.” (Expectation) “You didn’t______.” (Disappointment) Therefore, “I will______.” (Punishment) HORIZONTAL PROBLEM, VERTICAL SOLUTION “It’s not enough for us as Christians to believe in life after death; we better believe in life before death: a quality of love and peace, a quality of existence in our relationships and situations that would not be possible apart from the Person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ did not die just for your future; Jesus Christ died for your here-and-now! Praise Him!” We must learn to love God and place Him in the center of our universe. We cannot keep the second big commandment, if we are not keeping the first big commandment first. GOD WANTS YOU TO BE GOOD AND ANGRY “Our problem is not just that we are angry. Our problem is that we are angry in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons.” We must move, by God’s grace, from our own self-focused anger to God’s big, beautiful and constructive anger. Dismantling Idols: Learning to Worship the True King 1. Name it. Confess it. “Lord, this is what I have wrapped my heart around.” (Example: position, possessions, people, power, approval, comfort, security…) 2. Repent. Turn to God. Draw near to Him—James 4:6-10. Spend time with Him. Talk to Him about your struggles. Write out your prayers. 3. Unmask the idol for what it is. It appears desirous and beautiful, but it is a fraud and worshipping and living for it will only bring destruction. Compare what your idol does for you with what Jesus has done and continues to do for you. Write out a list comparing both lovers. Talk to Jesus about this. 4. Meditate on Isaiah 44:9-23 and Psalm 115. Recognize the excellence of your new King in comparison with your old ruling idol/master. Here are some essentials to gain victory over your anger. REJOICE IN JESUS As you rejoice in Jesus, your affection for you old lover/master will gradually decrease and you will be drawn more and more to Him. Spend time daily with Him, meditating on a portion of God’s Word. Write down on an index card each day one verse that caught your attention. Carry it with you and reread to yourself at different times during the day. It will keep your mind focused on God and His kingdom. It is like getting over an old boyfriend/girlfriend. The more you get to know your true lover, you begin to see all the flaws, selfishness and abuse of your old lover. What used to look like gold and silver was just a cover up for what was underneath—just a stump of old dry wood—and you were becoming just like it. Remember, rejoicing in Christ as a replacement for idols is a process…be patient…your heart will warm up more and more and you will come alive with joy. The Holy Spirit is your helper, pouring out God’s love into your heart.?(Romans 5:1-5; Ephesians 1:17-23; 3:15-21)) The above is a synopsis of a powerful conference taught by Dr. Paul David Tripp and Lois Kehlenbrink, contributors, Redeemer Counseling Services in conjunction with Revive Our Hearts ministries. To obtain these resources, go to www.reviveourhearts.com/store/product/good-and-angry-cd/ https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/good-and-angry-discussion-guide/

You’re not imagining it: there’s a severe shortage of single men in the church. Not just here in the U.S., but also around the world. When I was writing my first book, I spoke to a Christian woman from France. “Once a woman receives Jesus here, she is unmarriagable,” the woman said. “There are almost no men in my country who are following Christ. And French men will not marry a woman whose faith in Jesus is so strong. She is a leper in their eyes.” Christian colleges are becoming convents. I recently visited a Christian college in the Pacific Northwest, whose student body is 66% female. Camerin Courtney writes, “I often joke with a single male friend of mine that because of his gender, he’s got a buffet of dating/mate choices stretched out before him. I, on the other hand…am starving in the desert.” Christian writers like Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) have have given men permission ignore the opposite sex — and appear godlier for it. So even the guys who go to church seem afraid to date. They may feel pressure since there are so many women to choose from. One man said that going to a singles meeting feels like “walking into a room full of bees with honey smeared on your face.” There’s even a joke about the gender imbalance. It goes like this: Men in the church are like parking spaces. All the good ones are either already taken, or they’re handicapped.” So where are all the single Christian men? How can you meet one? Research shows that single men are more likely to attend churches that fit the following profile: Large (thousands of attendees on a weekend) Headed by a male pastor who’s bold and outspoken Non-denominational Contemporary worship style Conservative theology Risk-taking culture Offers intentional male discipleship Worship service done in under 90 minutes I’m not suggesting you switch churches over this issue. You need to grow where God has planted you. But it probably wouldn’t hurt to visit such a church – especially if your church offers nothing for singles. A columnist for Christianity Today writes, “I have great single female friends who want godly husbands—as do I. We want to build strong Christian marriages and raise good godly children. And we simply have no idea where to find these great men, if they even exist.” Yes, they exist, but they’re hard to find because demand is outstripping supply. http://www.churchesformen.com . Used by permission

Dead. That’s exactly how John felt that morning as he faced the platform. He was singing along with the music, eyes closed, trying to focus on the lyrics, trying to lift his heart to God as best he knew how. But like many Sundays before, his soul felt shriveled and uncomfortably numb. If those who stood around him only knew the depths of his sin, how would they treat him? If they knew about the websites he visited the night before, what would they say? What would his wife say? Men like John are all too common in the church today. According to Pure Desire Ministries, after collecting thousands of surveys from churches all over America, men like John comprise 60-70% of the men in our pews (plus 25-30% of women, and sadly, 50-58% of church leaders). Can churches become communities where people like John find repentance, hope, and healing? The good news is many leading churches are striving for this, and they are reshaping the culture of the church to change lives. Dry Drunks in the Pews How could so many Christians be so sexually broken and go unnoticed? Is this problem really as large as it is made out to be? According to Leadership Journal, more than half (57%) of pastors surveyed say porn addiction is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation. Some in the pews are undeniably addicts of the first degree: their sexual compulsions have brought them to unfathomable depths of perversion. And they are paying dearly for it. But others have only convinced themselves they don’t have a problem. Ted Roberts of Pure Desire likens these men and women to “dry drunks”: they watch a little porn now and then, they masturbate, they sexually fantasize, but they would never call themselves “addicts.” Outwardly their sexual habits might pass for unharmful, but inwardly they are filled with loneliness, bitterness, and lust. Their marriages are far from intimate. Their fellowship with others is shallow at best. And week after week they lose a little more hope that things will ever be different. “Our church, every church, all this culture are awash in lust, pornography, and every manner of sexual perversion,” says Pastor John Piper of Bethlehem Baptist Church. “We are, in fact, so awash that we’ve become fish who don’t even dream about air anymore.” Opening the Can of Worms: Taking on Taboos Some church leaders have said enough is enough, and they have become intentional and strategic about tackling this issue head-on. James Reeves, senior pastor of Celebration Fellowship in Fort Worth, likens the damage of pornography to a coming tsunami. “The issue of sexual addiction caught us unaware at first,” Reeves writes. “All around us marriages began to fall apart, husbands started getting caught with pornography, in affairs, and visiting prostitutes, and we knew we had to do something. Although we were heavily involved in recovery ministry already, we knew very little about how to deal with the specific issue of sexual addiction. So we got informed, educated, and went to work.” On Sept. 21, 2003, they devoted a special Sunday to the issue, entitled, “The Day Celebration Told the Truth about Pornography.” They had a panel discussion where six couples and one man, all of whom were in recovery, told their stories. They spoke about the shame, frustration, and despair that comes with this addiction, and they talked about their path to recovery so far. Reeves didn’t announce the topic beforehand to his congregation so people would not come up with convenient excuses to miss church that morning. “From that day forward,” says Reeves, “we were off and running in ministering to men, women, and families caught in this area.” Even smaller churches are taking action. Rev. Hank Van der Woerd ministers to a growing congregation of 250 families in the immigrant community in Southern Alberta, Canada. Even among this farming community, the members of Trinity United Reformed Church are no strangers to the problem of pornography. Rev. Van der Woerd, along with ministers from surrounding churches, decided to organize a seminar for all their men, age 14 and up, where they communicated biblical, psychological, and practical advice for men facing this temptation. The event was well-attended, and while there were some naysayers, critics were soon silenced when they were confronted with the enormity of the problem. For the elders of Trinity, this is only the beginning of their approach to this problem. Determined to help their 900 members, the elders have decided to set aside funds every year to purchase Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability for any family who wants it in their church. They are sending a message to the church-at-large: we want to be a community of hope and healing, where secrets sins can be brought into the light. The Inevitable Fight with Shame For many men and women who deeply struggle with sexual sin, a feeling of shame clings to them like a wet blanket and often become the biggest barrier against seeking help. Biblical counselor David Powlison says shame and guilt are related but distinct experiences. “Guilt is an awareness of failure against a standard,” such as a rule or a personal expectation. But shame, says Powlison, is “a sense of failure before the eyes of someone else.” Shame is overtly relational. For many porn and sex addicts, the shame is so acute, being open and honest in a spiritual community sounds like the last thing they want to do. So for churches that are proactive about this issue, disinfecting the shame-dynamic is a constant battle. Disinfecting Shame at Hospital Church And religious environments, unfortunately, encourage masks and pretension. A few decades ago, Pastor James Reeves came to believe that the church (as he experienced it) was not a safe place to talk about real problems. Reeves was saved at age 18 right off the street. He grew up, as he says, “poor white trash in a tin-roof house.” He was no stranger to drugs and alcohol. His own father died a penniless alcoholic in a flop house. Coming to Christ brought about a radical change in his life and eventually, after college, he entered a life of vocational ministry. However, six years into his pastoral career he sunk into an inexplicable and deep depression. His fellow church leaders gave him a short sabbatical, during which Reeves discovered how insufficiently he had recovered from the hurts and sins of his past. He returned to his church, not only refreshed, but with a new vision for what he wanted his church to become. He desires his church to become a place where people felt free to bring their deepest hurts and their biggest secrets. He calls it “Hospital Church.” The church, says Reeves, is meant to be like a hospital gown. “The hospital gown is designed not for concealment but easy access.” Reeves dreams of a church where people can be completely transparent—warts and all—and for the past 20 years, Reeves and the leaders of Celebration Fellowship have worked hard to intentionally create an atmosphere of grace to make transparency possible. Similarly, Dr. Bill Berry of Central Church in Collierville, Tennessee, says battling the shame-orientation is crucial to helping men and women come out of hiding. Dr. Berry has been the director of Battle Plan Ministries for 12 years in his church, and through this program he has watched scores of men walk out of the darkness of porn addiction and into the light. He knew men and women were seeking private counseling for these problems—a tactic he calls “covert warfare”—but he wanted his church to be a place where men could be honest publically about their struggles. Berry says he started Battle Plan for this very reason: to change the culture of his church and give men a safe forum for being honest without fear of condemnation. He now oversees four Battle Plan groups around the Memphis area. Modeling Brokenness from the Front Where does transparency start? Jon Acuff calls Christian leaders to give “the gift of going second.” When one brave soul speaks first, when he or she shares the raw and dirty details off their life, others in the room are given “the gift of going second.” It’s so much harder to be first. No one knows what’s off limits yet and you’re setting the boundaries with your words. You’re throwing yourself on the honesty grenade and taking whatever fall out that comes with it. Going second is so much easier. And the ease only grows exponentially as people continue to share. But it has to be started somewhere. Someone has to go first, and I think it has to be us. In the New York metropolitan area, Grace Community Church reaches thousands with its weekend services.Nearly every week Pastor Jarrod Jones will stand on the platform and remind his congregation, “This is a church where it’s okay to not be okay.” Jones, himself, is no stranger to the struggle of sexual sin. He writes candidly about what he has learned from his own struggles in his book, 13 Ways to Ruin Your Life. This environment of grace is one of the reasons why their Men’s L.I.F.E. Accountability Group is as strong as it is. Mike Pagna, who leads this Saturday morning fellowship, believes strongly that leaders need to set the pace when it comes to transparency. “I don’t care if I’m labeled a sex addict,” he says. Wanting more guys to come clean about their struggles, he would create venues to tell his story: men’s breakfasts, youth group events, anywhere he was given a platform. This not only drew guys to his group, but it also empowered men to be honest when they got there. “The leader needs to really, really lay it out. I need to lead with my junk so other guys can talk about theirs.” This is the same approach used by Pastor Darrell Brazell of New Hope Fellowship in Lawrence, Kansas. Brazell struggled with pornography since he was 10. He pursued a career in ministry believing if he devoted his life to God in full-time service, God would make his sexual struggles go away. When this did not happen, his heart was eaten alive with shame, and the addiction only became worse. Brazell started to find freedom when he opened up about his struggle to other fellow pastors. Because of his willingness to share his story with others, more and more men came to Brazell for help for their sexual sins. In October 2003, Brazell founded New Hope Fellowship, and to this day its sexual addiction recovery ministry is the church’s largest outreach to the surrounding community. Brazell knows his situation is unique: not every pastor’s story is like his own. But he believes strongly that pastors need to be honest about their own weaknesses. “If the teaching pastors do not understand their own brokenness and constantly proclaim grace, no recovery ministry is going to thrive.” www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

Jezebel exemplifies Satan’s demonic attack on God’s people, especially His prayer warriors. Jezebel, the wife of Ahab was wicked, manipulative and murderous. Satan uses the same methods (her wiles) to undermine and destroy the saints. Satan’s demons, like Jezebel, will target, and then seek to divide, the relationship between a pastor and the church’s spiritual leadership. The antidote? Let the senior leader appreciate, communicate and support his leadership and prayer warriors, and esteem their contribution, and let the intercessors set their prayer focus to first seek the spiritual fulfillment of the senior pastor’s vision. Pastors are under siege. The war is over one thing: satan seeks to neutralize spiritual authority, and no enemy of hell does this more efficiently than the demonic forces-like Jezebel’s wiles. When Satan attacks the church leadership-whether it involves temptation, confusion, witchcraft, fear or discouragement-it will always have as its ultimate purpose to disable the spiritual authority of pastoral leadership. Thus, Jesus promised that the church that overcomes Jezebel will be granted “authority over the nations.” (See Rev 2:26-28). The Jezebel spirit seeks to divide, diminish and then displace the spiritual authority God has given church leaders. Without pastors leading in godly authority, a church simply cannot function: confusion, ambition and chaos reign. True spiritual authority is a source of protection; it is a living shelter that covers and nurtures a home or church. Satan seeks to neutralize the leader in that Christian setting, for if he can strike the shepherd, he can scatter the sheep. Churches that are influenced by Satan’s attacks are often divided-intercessors undermining pastoral authority. The deception deepens for often those who present a vision different than the pastor’s are usually presenting something that could seem godly. It is the spirit or attitude through which they communicate their perceptions that opens the door to attack. The unbending demand that a leader conform to both their “sense of God’s leading” and the timing of its implementation is where this spirit gains access and causes division. Pray The Senior Leader’s Vision The best relationship between a pastor and the church intercessors occurs when intercessors simply pray the vision of the senior church leader. His responsibility is to lead; their responsibility is to intercede. They are not called to try to make their church become like some other church. For to do so becomes a great source of strife and heartache for all. God has a unique call, or responsibility, that He bestows upon every congregation. That sense of direction and purpose for the local church is usually given to its founding pastor. When he leaves, the vision of the church is passed on to the church elders who, in turn, look for a new pastor who can build upon God’s historic call to that congregation. The senior leader of a church, though he is certainly imperfect, is still appointed by God as the “head of the household” (see Matt 24:45) This senior pastor, working together with his associate leaders, has the responsibility to incorporate into the church structure what the Lord brings to him. This responsibility presents itself through a variety of sources. His “leading” may come personally from the Lord, or it might emerge from counsel with his elders or other peers as well as godly leaders and authors who mentor him in the faith. When one or more intercessors seek to manipulate, pressure or control the church leader with a prophetic witness, beware: “Jezebel” is at work. When church members are being disconnected from the senior leader through a whispering campaign, Satan wins. Remember, Jesus said of Jezebel, “She calls herself a prophetess.” Beware of self-appointed spiritual authorities in the church that undermine the authority of the senior leader or leadership team. God Loves Order One cannot truly know God nor appreciate Him as He is without being awed at the ordered array of His universe. Yes, the Almighty loves life and freedom, but at the substructure of all creation there first had to exist an immutable matrix of order. It was upon this foundation of ordered laws of physics that life emerged. Order is the source of life. We must remember that the very same eternal mind that created the structured order of the universe, created the church. There is a divine order to the church that begins in being rightly related to Christ and the leadership He gives to the church through people. God is a God of order; order precedes life and freedom. God’s mind is ordered; His will is ordered and He gives “orders” to put things in order. It is important to note that the Lord Himself honors the order He creates. Consider: the Lord appeared to Paul, spoke to him, actually blinded him in His glory, and then said, “rise, and enter the city, and it shall be told you what you must do” (Acts 9:6). Why didn’t the Lord just heal Paul? Why didn’t He just tell Paul what he had to do? Paul would have to learn that, to reach God, he would have to submit to man. This is God’s order and the Lord Himself honored it. Paul had to hear about Jesus from Ananias. Or consider Cornelius: an angel appeared to this Roman centurion in a dream and told him that a man named Simon Peter would explain to him the way of salvation. Why didn’t the angel simply tell Cornelius about Jesus? In the Almighty’s universe, God works in an ordered fashion. Before the gentile’s could enter the kingdom en masse they would be invited by the Jews, who first accepted Christ. God honored the order He created. Consider church protocol in the book of Acts. When Philip brought the gospel to Samaria after Pentecost, miracles, conversions and great signs were accomplished. But Philip would not lay his hands upon the Samaritans to receive the Holy Spirit. Why? Because until this time, the Holy Spirit had only spread through the hands of the first apostles. Again, God required His servant to respect the order and authority of the first apostles. God has an order in your church. However it is established, and in whatever way it is defined, it is a place in order and it should be respected and honored. It does not matter whether you agree or not with the governmental structure within a church; as long as you attend that fellowship you should honor the order. The issue is not the form of government, but the life within the form. Paul wrote of apostles and prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers; John, however, spoke of the church in terms of fathers, young men and children; Peter, on the other hand, taught of elders, shepherds and the flock of God. The issue is not how the order is defined, but to understand that there is an order already established in a church and that order should be honored. It can be changed, but to change a church structure, one must submit to the elders of that church and be in agreement with the senior leader. They will pay the price for change when they are convinced God is leading. But they should not be forced to change just because someone has a problem with a church expression. When Satan’s influence begins to manifest in a church, it immediately seeks to undermine the authority structure. If it cannot directly seduce a leader or cause him to commit immorality (and use that sin to diminish his authority), it will bring strife and division to challenge his authority in the church. Remember, Jezebel was a queen who ruled a king; she assumes a “prophetess” role so she can rule a church. In so doing, she seeks to create a counterfeit authority among groups of individuals in a congregation. The result is that the established order in the church is undermined, true authority is neutralized, leaders are then wearied by endless meetings. “And angels who did not keep their own domain, but abandoned their proper abode, He has kept in eternal bonds under darkness for the judgment of the great day.” (Jude 1:6). There is a proper abode for each of us in the order of God. Jesus said that, in the Father’s house there were “many dwelling places” and that He was going to prepare a place of each of us. The Father’s house is not only a place found in heaven; it is revealed here on earth in the body of Christ. Whenever we seek to break the order of our church, we leave our proper place and enter a realm “kept in eternal bonds under darkness.” My friends, stay loyal to the church order where you worship God. If that order does not fit your temperament, find a church that does. If you cannot find a church, perhaps you are called to start one where your vision of Christianity can be fulfilled. But whatever you do, do not open up to false authority; do not dishonor the authority in your local fellowship through gossip or dissension; rather pray the vision of the senior pastor. For in so doing, you will help bring the church into the destiny of God and serve to fulfill the uniqueness of God’s purpose.

This message is one our culture preaches in earnest to girls and women, beginning in earliest childhood. It comes at us from virtually every angle: television, movies, music, magazines, books, and advertisements. In nearly perfect unison, they paint for us a picture of what really matters. And what matters most for women, they insist, is beauty—physical beauty. Even parents, siblings, teachers, and friends sometimes add unwittingly to the chorus: “darling” children get oohs, aahs, and doting attention, while less attractive, overweight, or gangly children may be the objects of unkind comments, indifference, or even overt rejection. I believe that our preoccupation with external appearance goes back to the first woman. Do you remember what it was that appealed to Eve about the forbidden fruit? “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.” Genesis 3 :6 The fruit had a functional appeal (it was “good for food”); it also appealed to her desire for wisdom. But equally important was the fact that it was “pleasing to the eye”—it was physically attractive. The Enemy succeeded in getting the woman to value physical appearance more highly than less visible qualities, such as trust and obedience. The problem wasn’t that the fruit was “beautiful”—God had made it that way. Nor was it wrong for Eve to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of God’s creation. The problem was that Eve placed undue emphasis on external appearance. In doing so, she believed and acted on a lie. The priority Eve placed on physical attractiveness became the accepted pattern for all human beings. From that moment on, she and her husband saw themselves and their physical bodies through different eyes. They became self-conscious and ashamed of their bodies—bodies that had been masterfully formed by a loving Creator. They immediately sought to cover up their bodies, afraid to risk exposure before one another. The deception that physical beauty is to be esteemed above beauty of heart, spirit, and life leaves both men and women feeling unattractive, ashamed, embarrassed, and hopelessly flawed. Ironically, the pursuit of physical beauty is invariably an unattainable, elusive goal—always just out of reach. One might ask, how much damage can it do to place inordinate value on physical, external beauty? Let’s go back to our premise: What we believe ultimately determines how we live. If we believe something that is not true, sooner or later we will act on that lie; believing and acting on lies leads us into bondage. Each of the following women believed something about beauty that is not true. What they believed impacted the way they felt about themselves and caused them to make choices that placed them in bondage. “I believed that outward beauty (my body) was all that was valuable about me to anyone, especially men. I chose to take advantage of that to get the attention I so desperately craved. I became a sexual addict.”“I have a beautiful sister, whom I adore, but I am plain. I have always believed myself to be inferior and that I must perform to be accepted by others. I see the beautiful people get the breaks in life. I just accept that I won’t, and I am in bondage to my perception of my appearance.”“All my life I have believed that my self-worth was based on my appearance, and of course I never looked like the world said I should, so I have always had a low self-worth. I developed eating disorders, am a food addict, and struggle in my marriage with the perception that I am not attractive, and that my husband is always looking at other women who are attractive to him.” Comparison, envy, competitiveness, promiscuity, sexual addictions, eating disorders, immodest dress, flirtatious behavior—the list of attitudes and behaviors rooted in a false view of beauty is long. What can set women free from this bondage? Only the Truth can overcome the lies we have believed. God’s Word tells us the Truth about the transitory nature of physical beauty and the importance of pursuing lasting, inner beauty: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.” 1 Peter 3:3-5 These verses do not teach, as some might think, that physical beauty is somehow sinful, or that it is wrong to pay any attention to our outward appearance. That is just as much a deception as the lie that places an overemphasis on external beauty. Nowhere does the Scripture condemn physical beauty or suggest that the outward appearance does not matter. What is condemned is taking pride in God-given beauty, giving excessive attention to physical beauty, or tending to physical matters while neglecting matters of the heart. One of Satan’s strategies is to get us to move from one extreme to another. There is a growing aversion in our culture to neatness, orderliness, and attractiveness in dress and physical appearance. I sometimes find myself wanting to say to Christian women: “Do you know who you are? God made you a woman. Accept His gift. Don’t be afraid to be feminine and to add physical and spiritual loveliness to the setting where He has placed you. You are a child of God. You are a part of the bride of Christ. You belong to the King—you are royalty. Dress and conduct yourself in a way that reflects your high and holy calling. God has called you out of this world’s system—don’t let the world press you into its mold. Don’t think, dress, or act like the world; inwardly and outwardly, let others see the difference He makes in your life.” We as Christian women should seek to reflect the beauty, order, excellence, and grace of God through both our outward and inner person. The Christian wife has even more reason to find the right balance in this matter. The “virtuous wife” of Proverbs 31 is physically fit and well dressed (vv. 17, 22). She is a compliment to her husband. If a wife dresses in a way that is slovenly and unkempt, if she does not take any care for her physical appearance, she reflects negatively on her husband (and on her heavenly Bridegroom). Further, if she makes no effort to be physically attractive for her husband, you may be sure another woman out there will be standing in line to get his attention. When the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy about how things ought to be in the church, he took time to address the way women dress. His instructions show the balance between the inner heart attitude of the woman and her outer attire and behavior. Paul exhorts women to, “Adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” 1 Timothy 2: 9-10 ( nkjv) The words translated “adorn” and “modest” in this text mean “orderly, well-arranged, decent”; they speak of “harmonious arrangement.” The outward appearance of the Christian woman is to reflect a heart that is simple, pure, and well-ordered; her clothing and hairstyles should not be distracting or draw attention to herself by being extravagant, extreme, or indecent. In this way, she reflects the true condition of her heart and her relationship with the Lord, and she makes the Gospel attractive to the world. © Taken from Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Moody Publishers, 2001. More articles on modesty available at ReviveOurHearts.com.

Your husband learned from an early age to deny his true feelings — and to be silent about his deepest needs. Most men long for greater intimacy with their wives – but they have no idea how to find it. Bestselling author David Murrow breaks the silence – uncovering the central secret of your spouse’s heart. He reveals what every husband since Adam has felt, but has been unwilling or unable to say. If you really want to know what’s stored up in your husband’s heart, read this book. You’ll not only understand him better – you’ll love and respect him more. “What Your Husband Isn’t Telling You.” catalogs the many secrets men keep from their wives. For instance, if your husband is typical: He wants to be more honest with you, but you often become angry when he tells you how he’s really feeling. Many wives train their husbands to conceal the truth from them. He’s happiest when he’s competent and in control of a situation. He is at his core a protector and provider. These are the two roles Adam assumed at the fall of man and your husband wants desperately to succeed in these two roles He and his friends compare wives. And the man with the best looking wife wins. He’s afraid to admit weaknesses or fears, especially to you. He keeps a sexual scrapbook filled with images and memories. Most men would love to be rid of this scrapbook. At work he’s a genius. At home he’s a dunce. If he shares his true feelings with his guy friends he’ll be ridiculed. He’s tired of being seen as 100% of the problem in your marriage. He experiences God more fully outdoors than he does in a church building. The key to his sexual enjoyment is your enjoyment. If you’re having a good time, he’s having a good time. He hates having to read your mind. Tell him clearly what you want, and then be happy when you get it. He feels unappreciated at home. He’s less excited about church than you are. He feels that you are the expert in religious matters, and he’d rather defer to you. Let’s go back to that first one: many wives train their husbands to conceal the truth from them. When I share this with women they are shocked. Yet it’s true. Here’s how it happens. Men learn as children to hide their true emotions. Five-year-old Patrick falls off his bicycle and skins his knee. The pain is so intense he starts to cry. His friends gather around him and start taunting. “Crybaby!” they yell. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 15, Patrick is sitting with friends in the school cafeteria. He says, “Hey guys, I’m struggling with some fears. Can I share my heart with you?” Patrick is quickly laughed out of the room. He learns to keep is true feelings inside. At age 25, Patrick is married. He says to his wife, “There’s a woman at work who is flirting with me. I want to stay faithful to you honey, but I’ve got to admit I’m struggling.” How does she respond? Silence. Pouting. Depression. Even threat of divorce. The minimum sentence is a night on the sofa. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. Does this really happen? Just ask your husband, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Observe the terror in his eyes as he calculates the damage to his marriage if he tells you the truth. Imagine you’re housebreaking a puppy. Every time he soils the rug he gets a swat. But if he does his business outside you lavish rewards on him. Eventually the puppy does what he’s trained to do—not because he wants to, but because it’s the only way to avoid punishment. Now, imagine you’re training a husband. Every time he tells you the absolute truth he gets a swat. But when he conceals his true feelings, you lavish rewards on him. Eventually he begins carefully managing what he tells you—not because he wants to, but because it’s the only way to avoid punishment. When you penalize your man each time he reveals his true feelings, here’s the message you are sending: “If you want your life to be hell, tell me the truth. But if you want things to go smoothly, lie to me. Tell me only those things that won’t upset me.” Don’t misunderstand: I am not blaming women for every communication glitch in marriage. Husbands do the same things to wives. I know women who can’t tell their husbands the truth because they’re afraid their men will explode. Women suffer too. I get it. I’m simply asking you to open your eyes to the possibility that you are contributing to your husband’s silence. You may have unwittingly trained him to hide his true heart from you. So how can you unlock your husband’s true heart? Make him this promise: “I will never punish you for telling me the truth. Even if you say, “I’m having an affair,” I will not retaliate in anger.” What? How can a woman NOT get mad if her husband says he’s having an affair? Of course, you have every right to be furious if he admits to infidelity. You even have a right to divorce him (Matt. 5:32). You’re not giving him a pass to do whatever he wants – you’re promising to hear what he has to say—without shutting him down. Weeks or months may pass. Then one day he’ll take a chance. “Sweetheart, can we talk about your weight? It’s bothering me.” “I’ve been thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream.” “Let’s talk about how we discipline the kids.” “I’d like to spice up our sex life by trying some new things.” “I’m feeling unsupported at home.” These are not fighting words – they’re your husband’s true feelings. At that moment you’ll have a decision to make. You can erupt in anger and shut him out. You can descend into a depression for having failed yet again. You can go into the bedroom and pout. Or you can calmly listen to what he has to say. Thank him. Hear his concerns and take them to God in prayer. Do what you can to meet his needs. So there’s your precious key – if you really want to know what your husband is thinking, learn to receive the truth with grace. Hear what he has to say without punishing him.

Contrary to popular belief, men do have feelings. But most men are reluctant to share those feelings with others. Women, on the other hand, have no problem opening up. Why the difference? Men are trained from a young age to deny their true feelings. Complete this phrase: “Big boys don’t __________.” We enforce this rule with our boys from an early age. Five-year-old Patrick falls off his bicycle and skins his knee. The pain is so intense tears well up in his eyes. His friends gather around him and start taunting. “Crybaby!” they yell. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 9, a bully begins picking on Patrick. The more emotional Patrick becomes, the more taunting the bully dishes out. Patrick learns to suffer in silence. At age 12, Patrick goes out for the baseball team – but is not chosen. He becomes emotional. His dad tells him to, “Buck up, and take it like a man.” Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 15, Patrick is sitting with friends in the school cafeteria. He says, “Hey guys, I’m struggling with some fears. Can I share my heart with you?” Patrick is quickly laughed out of the room. He learns to keep is true feelings inside. At age of 19, Patrick is feeling overwhelmed by college, the demands of his fraternity and his part-time job. His girlfriend just dumped him and his bank account is overdrawn. When he shares his anxieties with one of his frat brothers he’s dismissed as a “navel-gazer.” He learns to keep his true feelings inside. Every time Patrick opens up and shares his true feelings and emotions, there’s a man who tells him to stop. Or he pays a penalty for opening up. Patrick gets the message: to be a man is to deny your true feelings. Contrast this to his sister Edie, who cries freely when she skins her knee, who’s allowed to mourn when she feels rejected, and who easily shares her emotions with her friends. Why are women allowed to share their innermost feelings but men are not? For thousands of years men have been hunters and warriors. Hunters had to project an air of strength and confidence at all times. If a hunter were to complain about the cold, a lack of food or his fear of being mauled by a saber-tooth tiger, he could bring down the morale of the rest of the hunting party. If a solder were to speak openly of his fear of death or injury (or worse yet dissolve into tears) he could spook his entire platoon. Men also had to swallow their fears at home. If a hunter were to admit the possibility of an unsuccessful hunt might cause the tribe to panic. Same with war – if a soldier were to admit to his wife he was afraid of defeat, morale at home would suffer. Meanwhile, women were free to share their fears and emotions back at camp. In fact, this sharing was therapeutic and healthy for the women and the tribe. This is what gave rise to the double standard. Women have been free to share emotion because it’s beneficial, but men have had to keep their sorrows private because it could lead to disaster. Thus, societies have trained boys from a young age to keep their emotions in check. This prepares boys for the day they may someday be called upon to project an image of confidence in the face of danger. So we have yet another societal adaptation that has served humans well in the past, but has failed to keep up with the times. Today most American men don’t go to war. They don’t face imminent starvation. Sure, men still deal with bad news, unemployment and setbacks. But modern men rarely face the life-and-death situations that made emotional aloofness so important to our ancestors’ survival. The church can help men get in touch with their emotions – but it must walk a tightrope. It must provide forums for men to be real with one another, without pushing men too hard to fast. Most men’s ministry consists of Bible studies. We are focused on the acquisition of knowledge, which is a good thing. But we never get around to sharing from the heart because the format is wrong. On the other hand, some men’s groups are too focused on emotions. Some leaders press their men to share intimate details of their personal lives. Most men will not go there during an initial meeting; it takes time and familiarity before a man can trust others. True story: My friend Brian was invited to a men’s group at his church. At the first meeting group leader pulled out a towel and basin and washed the men’s feet. The next week only one man showed up. This was too much intimacy too soon. (Remember, Jesus didn’t wash his disciples’ feet until he’d walked with them daily for three years). One other reason men have a hard time opening up in a small group: if I am completely honest about my struggles, I am handing you a weapon you can use to destroy me. For example, if I tell you I’m using pornography, you now have the power to wreck my reputation in the church, to destroy my family, and maybe even get me fired from work. So yes, we want men to open up and be real. But the road that takes us there is a long one. A man must overcome the weight of society’s expectations and a boatload of fear before he can let another man see into their heart. churchformen.com/products-page/

Here are some amazing statistics that re-shape the stereotypes of faith among Hispanic Americans. George Barna gives us a glimpse of the paradigm shifts we are now experiencing. Hispanic Statistics in the United States Earlier this fall we celebrated National Hispanic Heritage Month (mid-Sept through mid-Oct). How familiar are you with the hispanic cultures and traditions of the U.S. residents whose heritage came from Spain, Mexico, and the Spanish-speaking nations of Central America, South America, and the Caribbean? How well, if at all, does your church understand hispanic culture? The Hispanic population may not be a minority for much longer, and it is vital that your church understand their culture if you ever want to reach them. In honor of the hispanic community, we have collected the following general hispanic statistics. 52.0 Million – The estimated Hispanic population of the United States as of July 1, 2011, making people of Hispanic origin the nation’s largest ethnic or race minority. Hispanics constituted 16.7 percent of the nation’s total population. (Census.gov) 132.8 Million – The projected Hispanic population of the United States as of July 1, 2050. According to this projection, Hispanics will constitute 24 percent of the nation’s total population on that date. (Census.gov) More than 1 of every two people added to the nation’s population between July 1, 2010, and July 1, 2011, were Hispanic (1.3M of 2.3 M total) (Census.gov) 27 – Median age, in years, of the Hispanic population in 2010, compared with 32 for blacks, 34 for Asians and 42 for whites. (PEW) 5 states with the highest percentage of hispanics – CA (27.8%), TX (18.8%), FL (8.4), New York (6.8%), Illinois (4.0%). (PEW) 8 – The number of states with at least 1 million Hispanic residents. These states are: Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, New Jersey, New York and Texas. ( Census.gov 2.3 Million – The number of Hispanic-owned businesses in 2010. (Census.gov) 66% – The percentage of Hispanic families consisting of a married couple. (Census.gov) 41% -Â The percentage of Hispanic families consisting of a married couple with children under the age of 18. (Census.gov) 25% – Percentage of population under age 5 that is Hispanic, as of 2008. (Census.gov) $38,624 – The median income of Hispanic households in 2011 (Census.gov), a real income a decline of 4.1 percent from 2009 to 2012. (Washington Post) 26.7% – The poverty rate among Hispanics in 2011, a 4.9% increase since 2005. (Pew) 14.1% – Percentage of hispanics with a bachelor’s degree or higher (Census.gov) 71% – Percentage of hispanics age 25 and older who have at least a high school education (compared with 88% for blacks and 94% for whites) (IES) FAITH AND HISPANICS The Barna Group recently launched Barna:Hispanics, an entire section of it’s website dedicated to research specific to the hispanic community. In addition to their great (paid) reports, they have also released several free infographics. Hispanics & Faith 2012 (a series of 20 infographics) Understand one of the fastest-growing audiences in America. As the nation’s largest minority group—and one of the fastest-growing segments—Hispanics are an increasingly powerful force shaping our society. And with 84% identifying themselves as Christians, Hispanic Americans are also shaping the face of American Christianity. Hispanic America will give you an understanding of the faith, values and priorities of this important group. You’ll gain insights into these areas of Hispanic life and thought: Expressions of Faith Social Views & Concerns Work & Vocation Money & Finances Families Children & Youth The Bible Worldview Unchurched Latino viewpoints Demographics & Psychographics Politics Reliable, authoritative data and insightful analysis come together to create a useful tool for those who want to help shape the Church of tomorrow. Learn how to minister to and serve alongside Hispanic Americans with the groundbreaking new report Hispanic America. “This is one of the best comprehensive studies on our Hispanic population. I commend you for the wide scope and depth of the information.” Dr. Fermín A. Whittaker CEO, California Southern Baptist Convention See what others are saying about the Hispanic America report. It is critical that we see how God is moving among our Hispanic population here in the United States and around the world. www.churchrelevance.com . Used by permission.

I’ve been following the Lord for a little over 30 years now. And as I’ve watched the passing parade, some of the most zealous, devout, committed Christians that I knew in their 20s and 30s are now atheists in their 40s. They filed Chapter 7 on their Christian life. Each of them shared one of three things in common: They chose to become offended by God when He didn’t meet their expectations. They chose to become bitter at those who hurt them. They made provision for their flesh and were completely overtaken by it. Holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith (1 Timothy 1:19). Likewise, some of the people who claimed to be utterly dedicated to the vision of God’s central mission later abandoned it for an easier, less costly, more convenient life. They filed Chapter 11 on their spiritual progress. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful (Matthew 13:22). Point: There are no guarantees when it comes to our walk with the Lord. What God knows mortals do not. The truth is, all of us are hanging by grace. Every day. “The one who endures until the end will be delivered,” Jesus said. John wrote, “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us” (1 John 2:19). The entire culture is pressing on us to take our eye off the ball. To divert our attention from Jesus to the flesh, the world, and the enticements of the enemy. Egypt, Babylon, and Sodom cry out to us every day from every quarter. Consequently, we all need encouragement to go on with the Lord . . . to keep Christ before our eyes. Teetering on the edge of spiritual bankruptcy is no fun, but it’s a red flag to motivate you to seek spiritual encouragement. And to receive it. If you’re down, you can bet that some Christian you know is up. And when they’re down, you can return the favor. The antidote to spiritual bankruptcy? See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first (Hebrews 3:12-14). According to the writer of Hebrews, the antidote to an unbelieving hard heart, the deceitfulness of sin, and turning away from the living God is mutual encouragement. Not mutual tear-down, mutual bickering, mutual hair-splitting, mutual condemning, mutual finger-pointing or mutual in-fighting. But mutual encouragement. But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you don’t consume one another (Galatians 5:13). There once were two cats of Kilkenny Each thought there was one cat too many So they fought and they fit And they scratched and they bit ‘Til excepting their nails And the tips of their tails Instead of two cats there weren’t any. Acknowledging to yourself and to someone else that you’re stuck in your walk is the first step to getting unstuck. And finding people and communities where mutual encouragement is the norm (opposed to tear-down and in-fighting) is the best way to protect your spirit. Spiritual bankruptcy can be avoided. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).

As a community of believers grows, its needs new leaders raised up to handle the increased ministry needs. This is true for churches that handle growth by multiplying into new locations and for churches that keep their growth in one location. It is the story of Acts 6:1-7. The early church was a time of growth where 5,000 men could find Christ from just one sermon (Acts 4:4). Yet we see in chapter 6, that the Greek-speaking Jewish widows became lost in the bustle of growth and were neglected. Seven men of good reputation and spiritual maturity were chosen to meet that need. Unfortunately, raising up volunteers isn’t easy. It’s hard work. And to have Acts 6 quality volunteers takes a culture well-equipped at discipleship and cultivating spiritual maturity long before being appointed to serve. Volunteer Challenges Based on Church Size The benefit of house churches (<25 people ideally) is they have no need for volunteers to run major equipment, maintain facilities, or manage ministry operations. What volunteer needs do exist tend to happen naturally, such as greeting newcomers and watching kids. But as a church grows, even a house church, the need for volunteers and structure increases as the ease of relationships decreases. For example, it is said that the quality of community intimacy declines after a house church exceeds 25 people. At this size, it is less likely for everyone to take part and more difficult to know each other deeply. At around 100-230 people, we experience Dunbar’s number – our cognitive limit of being able to know who everyone is and how they relate to each other. This is a medium-sized church (51-300) that still has some relational agility but still needs structure to meet all ministry needs and appoint believers according to their gifts. Large churches (301-1,999) often undergo intense growing pains as they learn they can no longer know everyone. It is at this size and above that we more commonly see volunteer mistakes, such as: not communicating volunteer opportunities lack of clear leadership lack of leadership training lack of accountability lack of volunteer appreciation haphazardly appointing volunteers (lack of necessary spiritual maturity, abilities, etc.) By the time a church grows to be a megachurch (2,000-9,999) or gigachurch (10,000+), they’ve usually figured out structure and now must work even harder at relationships and love. If left to itself, structure and management become cold and sterile. You can’t systematize love and relationships; trying just seems artificial and disingenuous. It is a weird tension because you need structure, but true love is sloppy. This is non-negotiable. It doesn’t matter how structured and high performance you are, if you don’t have love, it is in vain (1 Corinthians 13). So each stage comes with its own challenges. Regardless of what size you’re at, download ACTIVE Faith’s free ebook and think through if there is anything that your church needs to change.

Teach your children to encourage and inspire others with homemade prayer gifts at Christmastime. Here are some creative craft ideas that show children the true meaning of Christ, God’s greatest gift, coming to earth. Be sure your child delivers the gift personally, so he or she sees the joy and gratitude on the face of the recipient! A Huggable Prayer for Another Child. Things you need: A plain calico or cotton-covered toy such as a teddy bear. A fine-tipped permanent-ink fabric pen. Give a prayer that can be hugged! Purchase a plain pale-colored, firmly-stuffed soft toy. Write short prayers for the recipient on the bear or other toy and let your child sign his/her name at the end of the prayer. If your child is too young to write on the toy, have him/her compose the prayer and write the prayer on the toy for the child. Let the child wrap the gift with tinsel, bows, tissue paper or a box decorated by your son or daughter. Give the bear (toy) to a mother-to-be, a young child, someone in need of comfort and encouragement…even a student leaving home for the first time. “A time to embrace…” Ecclesiastes 3:5. Bible Promise Prayer Book. Things you need: Computer with a good graphics program and color printer, or pens and crayons. Christmas stickers may also be used. White paper (for a large book) or large white note cards (for a smaller child’s book.) Hole punch and Christmas ribbon. Create a booklet of promises that your child may want to pray for a friend or family member. You can use a Bible promise book (an easy-read Bible translation). Choose favorite Bible verses. Psalm verses can be meaningful choices for your child. Match lovely pictures from your computer graphics program, or use stickers to go with each verse. Be sure to personalize each verse by including the recipient’s name with the book. Treat each page of the card as a page in the book. Create an attractive cover and print this on card stock. The child may also make a collage of wrapping paper to make a cover for the prayer book. Hole-punch and use ribbon as the book binder. (You may also want to go to an office supply or print shop to laminate the book or simply use clear contact paper). “’I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” Jeremiah 29:11. Ornament Prayer. Things you need: cardboard, a water glass for tracing, or tracing paper. A photo of your child. Glitter, stars, foil, or wrapping paper. A wire ornament hook or ribbon Create a two-sided ornament by tracing the ornament shape onto the cardboard. Cut the traced shape to make the ornament. Be sure the ornament is large enough to accommodate the photo and the name of the child. Glue the photo of your child in the center of the ornament. Write a short prayer for the recipient on the other side of the ornament. Be sure the name of your child is written at the end of the prayer. If your child is old enough, they will want to write the prayer. You may want to write the prayer on the paper if your child is younger. Go crazy. Let the child glue, color and glitter the ornament as much as they like! (You can always sweep up the mess later)! “You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you are to be feared; all you do is strange and wonderful” Psalm 139:13-14. Bookmark Prayer. Things you need: Card cut into bookmark shape(s). Scissors, Rubber stamps, inks or markers, stickers and lace or other trim, hole punch, thin cloth ribbon. Create a bookmark to give to a friend. Use all kinds of craft materials to make simple bookmarks. Match the theme of the decorations to the theme of the prayer. Write a personalized prayer for your friend on the back of the bookmark. Punch a hole in the bookmark and knot a length of ribbon through the hole. Give the bookmark as a gift to go with an encouraging book. “Let the reader understand” Mark 13:14. Quilt Prayer. Things you need. Fabric (different colors and patterns) and fabric pens. Fusible webbing Sewing thread, Embroidery threads. Batting and binding for older children. Create a quilt for your child, or for the wall, as a prayer reminder. Design a quilt or a patchwork wall hanging with equal-sized squares. Add a half-inch to the finished size of the squares to allow for edging. Create designs for the squares that remind you of different things to pray about. Many of the traditional quilting designs lend themselves to being prayer reminders. For example: Angels: prayer for protection. Hearts: reminders of God’s amazing love. Flowers: thanks for God’s creation. Car: prayer for safe travel. House: prayer for the home and family. Birds: songs of praise to God. Hands and Hearts: prayer for God to use our hands to show love to others. Flags: prayer for our country. Gold Crown: praise to God. Appliqué or iron designs onto the squares using scrap fabrics and fusible webbing, or use a traditional appliqué method. You may find quilting books or tracing designs at your local craft store. Use fabric pens or embroidery for any words your wish to write on the quilt. Sew or iron the squares together. You may also buy a solid color quilt and iron the designs onto the fabric. Adapt this idea to suit the child’s skills and time frame. Use hem tape and trim for the edging. This could be a lovely gift for a mother-to-be, a baby or elderly person. “She makes coverings for her bed” Proverbs 31:22. Doorknob Prayer. Things you need: A blank doorknob sign or stiff cardboard to make your own sign. Markers, paints, transfers, stencils, etc. Create a prayer to hang on someone’s door. Write a prayer on the blank sign with fine permanent pens. Decorate the prayer in any way you like. Laminate or seal the sign with clear contact paper. Prayers for protection are especially appropriate for the door hangers. “Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates” Deuteronomy 6:9. A Christmas Cookie Tin. Things you need: Sugar cookie ingredients or pre-made sugar cookie dough, a cookie tin. Plastic colored tissue paper, ribbon and trim, fabric glue, cardboard and art supplies to make the gift card for the tin. Photograph of your child. Bake sugar cookies from your favorite cookie recipe and cut them into rounds. Put Bible verse references on the cookies with tubes of icing or a piping bag. Write or type the corresponding verses onto the inside of the gift card. Include the photo of your child on the front of the card. Wrap the circumference of the tin with curly ribbon and tie the hole-punched card to the ribbon. Another variation is to put a single word on each cookie, like love, peace, joy and use a corresponding verse on the card using the key word. “How sweet are the taste of Your words, sweeter than honey” Psalm 119:103. Be creative this Christmas. Save time to “craft” with the little people who live in your house. Have your child make a prayer gift for someone who is hurting or in need (an elderly person, a sick person or someone in a homeless shelter). Take a picture of the recipient with your child on your phone or with your camera. Print the photo. Place the photo in your child’s Bible. Pray for the person who received the gift every night as a part of your little one’s bedtime prayers. Ideas included in this article are compiled with 100 Creative Prayer Ideas for Kids by Karen Holford. Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Publishing, 2003. Also written and edited by Julie Barrier.