If a person walks through the door of your church, what are the essential truths they must hear? I’m talking about the basics, about the things that every Christian should know backwards and forward, the things we should hear in church all the time. Granted, people do not remember all they should remember. It’s possible the fault lies with the hearers as much as the speakers. But still, that’s only more incentive to make certain thing crystal clear. We must not assume our people know what they need to know. We can’t assume they’ve heard what we think we’ve told them. As a pastor, there are certain things I hope the people at my church will never say they never heard. These are not necessarily the most important doctrines of the faith (though some are). Rather, these are the things we easily assume our people know, but often still miss. And when they miss these things they can end up missing everything. 1. “Being a Christian is more than going to church and being a good person.” We have to make this one absolutely and repetitively clear. I promise you there are people in your church (and mine) who think Christianity consists of attending religious services with some regularity and not screwing up in major ways. Make sure they know the gospel, that Jesus Christ lived the life we couldn’t live and died the death we deserved so that by faith alone we can be made right with God. Make sure they can articulate the gospel too. 2. “We must be born again.” I’m struck that the history of revivals shows that awakenings often follow when preachers return to this theme again and again. Do your people know that they are dead in sin and need the miracle of regeneration? 3. “We need to develop a personal relationship with Christ.” We may tire of the phrase “personal relationship” but it’s trying to get at something crucial for the Christian life. We must really know Christ and love him and walk with him and listen to him. 4. “Mature Christians develop lifelong habits of Bible reading and prayer.” It may be completely my fault, but somehow I didn’t know this until I met some good fundy Baptist friends in high school who started each day with something called a “quiet time.” 5. “Christians suffer.” Our suffering is made worse in this country because no one tells us it is coming. 6. “God can be pleased with me.” The Christians who understand numbers 1-5 often struggle to embrace this truth. Tell your people often that God delights in their obedience. Tell them that God is a loving Father who is pleased with his faithful, though imperfect, children. 7. “Beware of false teachers.” We have not trained our young people well if they leave our safe environment and assume that everyone who goes by the name of Christian or publishes a Christian book or teaches at a Christian school can be trusted. 8. “There is one God in three Persons.” What’s more foundational than God himself? And yet, how many churches adequately, frequently instruct their people in the Trinity. 9. “There are many people in the world who don’t think Christianity is true and some of them are very nice and very smart.” If we are around church our whole lives we may learn that others disagree with us, but their beliefs and arguments are often presented weakly. It’s easy for people to grow up in the church figuring that other worldviews are pretty dumb and/or those who espouse them are obviously bad people. Prepare your people that they will encounter decent and intelligent people who disagree with them. Get them ready to think beyond stereotypes. 10. “There is a reason we worship the way we do.” Granted, this may not be the case in every church. Some worship services are thrown together under the basic rubric of “whatever I like and seems to work.” But probably your church is better than this. Take time to explain why you still sing old hymns, why you try new songs, why you have a prayer of confession, why there is a pastoral prayer, why the sermon is the way it is. Worship goes goofy when church members have never been taught why we worship the way we do. If you are a pastor, parent, Bible study leader, Sunday school teacher, or anyone who instructs others in the faith, don’t assume your kids or your people know these things. Repeat then. Sing them. Pray them. Ask people to say what you just said. Make them raise their hands. Make them repeat after you. Do whatever it takes to make sure your people can never say they never heard the most important things from you.

There’s always that one kid. The kid who won’t stay in his seat at the restaurant. The girl who has to have the last word. And the boy who’s always screaming in the Target. That’s a powerful child at work. And maybe he’s yours. These powerful children are master manipulators and expert attention-getters! They love to be in control of the household power source—you. So how can you tell if you’ve got a powerful master-manipulator on your hands? Here’s just a few ways you can spot the powerful child in your family. Every family’s got one and sometimes it’s not who you think. 1. Does your child love to battle with you? Is your kid stubborn beyond reason? Do they fight you at every turn? With powerful stubborn manipulators, every comment can turn into an argument. These kids have a need to be right! 2. Is he or she overly sensitive? Does your family feel like they have to walk on eggshells around that one son or daughter? We can often find ourselves sticking up for these children, saying “Oh, Fletcher is just so sensitive!” Don’t be fooled. These kids are workin’ ya! 3. Does it seem as if your child has developed a frightening new personality? Was your child once an easy-going cooperative kid who you were proud to call your own? But now that she’s hit puberty, has she developed a personality close to that of a werewolf? These moody curveball kids can really throw you for a loop! 4. Do you feel like you’re always asking questions but never getting answers? Powerful children aren’t always the loud obnoxious kid in the Target. Children can manipulate through silence too, and we can be suckers for the shy kid. We’ll ask him question after question, but he’ll only respond with a shrug or an “I dunno know.” Next Steps? Check your reaction! Chances are, if you have a powerful child, you’re having a powerful reaction. Your heart may pound, your stomach churn, and maybe you can picture more arguments than not with that child. Or perhaps you’ve gone out of your way to placate her. Powerful manipulators come in a variety of packages. And they can leave us pulling our hair out at night! But having a powerful child isn’t all bad. It simply means that the power needs to be redirected, and you (yes, you!), dear parent, can be a circuit breaker on that power. All behavior is learned, and your child is looking to you to set the example. Don’t teach your powerful child to walk all over you with permissive parenting, and don’t fight power with power. It takes two to do battle, so disengage! So next time Johnny says, “Hey, let me borrow the car so I can drive to the football game,” after he’s mouthed-off to you all night, don’t play the typical permissive or authoritarian parent. Don’t let him off the hook with a simple, “Well, alright. But don’t stay out too late!” And don’t give him the “Are you kidding me?! You’re not going anywhere for a month with a tone like that!” Be authoritative. Stay calm. Control your power surges. Instead, calmly say something like, “Maybe I would consider letting you borrow the car, but I don’t like the way you’ve treated me tonight.” This puts the ball back in Johnny’s court and it’s up to him to decide whether he’ll abide by the rules. He may whine and complain at first, but he’ll come around if he wants those keys! Parenting is never easy, but it is simple. Stay consistent, stay calm, and redirect those power surges! Your powerful child can become a powerful force for good. For more information on redirecting your powerful child, check out my new book Parenting Your Powerful Child. If you’ve got a powerful kid, it’s a book you can’t afford to miss! Re-printed from www.birthorderguy.com. Used by permission.

Just moments ago, she had enjoyed all the thrills of sleeping with a man she shouldn’t have. And only a short time later, she stood naked and beaten before a group of men in the temple—of all places. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind. She wanted so badly to be clothed, to get out of there, and to turn back time. Thoughts of the disgrace and embarrassment that her family would own because of her actions haunted her. The men around her began asking questions to a well–known, if not famous, Rabbi, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now, in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. So what do you say?” When she heard this question, the thought of dying on that very day overwhelmed her so much that she began to sob out loud. She knew the Law. It was sacred and holy. She knew she had to face death for her actions—to not do so would break the very Law these men were commanded to enforce. She knew her fate and threw herself down on the ground waiting for the Rabbi’s command. But he said nothing. The crowd grew irritated and began asking repeatedly the same question, increasing their volume. But, still he said nothing. She wanted to know what was happening and what the outcome would be as fear and shame raced through her. It seemed like eternity, and all the while she was waiting for the first stone to come flying out of nowhere and hit her. She just wanted it all to be over. How could it have come to this? She had betrayed her God, her family, and her husband. Sorrow finally overcame her and all that flowed through her mind were the words, “I’m sorry”—over and over again. Finally the Rabbi said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw the stone at her.”The next thing she heard were stones hitting the ground one-by-one. She looked up and saw only the Rabbi there. He asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She lowered her head and immediately began to weep uncontrollably. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her head and a blanket cover her bare shoulders. She didn’t want to have to raise her head to look the Rabbi in the face. Although the threat of death was gone, shame and guilt were as present as they had ever been. She started to wish they would have killed her anyway. The Rabbi called to her again, “Woman, where are they? Has not one of them condemned you?” Through her tears, she answered, “No one, Lord.” The Rabbi gently lifted her head up with his hand. As her eyes met his, a strange quiet fell over her entire being. And for a few moments, he stared into her soul. Then he said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” In a recent Q&A session during the Membership Class here at the Village, I was asked if there were any concerns about the theology in our church or if truth was being applied incorrectly. I thought for a few moments and answered with one major area of concern: the flow of obedience that comes from having grace take hold of you or the absence of that obedience. It has been my experience that where grace is unapologetically taught, there is also a sinful residue that almost always accompanies it. People can easily grab hold of the concept of grace, but any call to “obedience” is labeled as “legalism” that is contrary to the gospel. It’s like they either forget or don’t acknowledge the part where Jesus said to the adulteress, “go, and from now on sin no more.” In grace-driven churches, legalism is not tolerable. Call us anything else you want, but to call us “legalistic” is the Mother of all insults. It’s like saying something derogatory about our spouses, children, or mothers, and it’s unacceptable. As a matter of fact, it might even get you punched in the face (which is okay because God’s grace will cover our actions, right?). In churches where grace is the central focus, there seems to be reluctant attitudes toward obedience or commandments. The interesting thing about all of this is that Jesus wasn’t reluctant to talk about obedience or commandments then, and He isn’t today either. If commanding obedience is legalism, then the author of the grace we teach is the biggest “legalist” of us all. John 14:15 says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” Profession and belief alone is not evidence of your love for Christ. The Scripture says that even the demons believe that Jesus is the Christ and they shudder, which is more than most of us do, at the thought of the incarnation. So mere belief is inadequate according to Jesus. Instead, Jesus says that if you love Him, then you will obey His commands. Is this just one obscure passage dealing with this issue? Not at all. John 15:10-11 says, “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” There are a few things that should be clear to you thus far: Jesus had no problem giving commandments; Jesus had no problem affirming existing laws; and Jesus had no problem asking us to obey God’s commandments. To Him, there was no conflict or tension between love, grace, and obedience. First John 2:3- 6 says, “Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.” According to this text, is it an option whether or not to keep God’s commandments? Look at the verse again. No—it isn’t. What a strong statement! A brother or sister who does not walk in God’s commandments is not really a brother or sister. Here is another passage, from Psalm 40:8, but this is later quoted in Hebrews 10:5-9. The reference in Hebrews makes it clear that when the Psalmist wrote this, it was a prophecy of Jesus Christ. In fact, it was the Messiah saying these words. So, although this passage appears first in the book of Psalms, this is the very heart of Jesus. This is what Jesus said, I delight to do Thy will, O my God; Thy law is within my heart. Jesus didn’t say, “Your law is my enemy, O God,” “I run away from Your law,” or “I am ashamed of Your law.” He said that God’s law burned within His being and He desired to obey it. One problem is that we do not have a working definition “legalism.” This very topic comes up many times in The Village home groups, over coffee, and at the gym. But, I have never heard anyone define it. We often just throw “legalism” into a theological junk drawer along with other things that convict us or people’s lives that challenge us. The truth is no action can be called legalistic in itself. Is it legalistic to obey God’s commands—even the small ones? Of course not. Is it legalistic to preach and teach people to obey the commands of Christ? On the contrary—we are commanded to do so. How about confronting, rebuking, or disciplining our fellow believers if they are unrepentant in their disobedience? Again, we are commanded by God to do these exact things. Legalism is not an action, it is a motive. It’s why we do things that can make the action wrong. It’s the trap legalistic people fall into of trying to earn love already given to them or trying to pay back God for mistakes and sins. Both of these motives produce “good works” based off of wrong motives. In the end, they destroy one’s understanding of God and grace, and make his or her ability to extend grace nearly impossible. The bottom line is—we do not keep God’s commands in order to improve our relationships with God, to win His love, or to receive more of His love. Think back on John 8 for evidence of this. What did the woman caught in adultery do to receive the grace and forgiveness of Jesus? When the story begins, she was caught in the act of sin. She wasn’t suspected of it—she was actually found guilty of it. Yet before she obeyed even one of God’s commands, she was forgiven. Love was extended to her before she even confessed, made things right with her husband, went to church, or memorized any Scripture. How is this possible? The only answer is that God’s love for her was not rooted in her actions but in the soon-to-be death of Jesus on the cross. This leads to the issue of “right motives.” What do you think she felt in that moment—the moment where undeserved love, forgiveness, and grace were extended to her? Do you think she was thinking about going back to what she was doing before? Surely not. I have found that there is a difference between you grasping the concept of grace and grace grasping you. When the reality and truth of grace captures your heart, when it’s your turn to stand naked and beaten before all, guilty, and deserving of death, and when you hear the words “neither do I condemn you,” then in that moment all the right motives for obedience are born. There are at least three motives. The first is gratitude. We obey the commands of God because our hearts overflow with gratefulness that was birthed in the grace extended to us. And we want to obey Him—not to earn His love—but because He gave His love to us freely. We obey not to pay back but because we owe nothing. Keeping God’s commands as an expression of love is the second motive for obedience. It brings us pleasure to obey God because we love Him. Think of being in love. I love my wife, Lauren, very much. And because I love her, I like doing things that make her happy—even if I don’t necessarily like the actual things I must do. A few examples would be watching romantic comedies or cleaning the kitchen. However, I don’t mind doing those things, because they make my Love happy and therefore bring me joy. The third motive is obedience as an act of devotion. This motive can’t be separated from the first two, or it becomes begrudging submission. And begrudgingly submitting to someone is very different from obeying as an act of devotion because the latter is loyalty birthed out of grateful love. I am not devoted for devotion’s sake. I am devoted to obey the commands of God because He has written them on my heart, because I am thankful for those commands, because I’m in love with Him for giving them to me, and because of who He is. So the remaining question is: what do we do if our motives are wrong, our hearts are not grateful, and we are not in love? I don’t think there is a silver bullet here, but there are definitely some things we can do that can help. Meditating on Scripture can penetrate any funk that we find ourselves in because God’s Word is “living and active.” I am not saying that simply reading the Bible is the answer. But prayerful meditation over the inspiration found in God’s Word is. Try reading the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Read it slow. Imagine the smells and the emotions that she must have felt. You’ve already read a piece of the story in the first two paragraphs. But put yourself in her place. Imagine your sins going public and the “neither do I condemn” being extended to you. Read the story of the woman at the well in John 4. Read Romans 5-6. Read Galatians 2:20-3:5. Read each of these passages slowly and pray, think, and answer Jesus’ question, “Has no one condemned you?” Then think upon His statement “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” May the Lord be gracious to us and may that grace lead us to obedience to Him so that our joy and His glory maybe full. © 2007 The Village Church. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Music is a unique vehicle when instruments and voices respond to the rap of the Divine Conductor’s baton. Nothing can replace our soul-song. If its outlet gets clogged, the soul gets heavier and heavier. Songs in the night are sacrifices of praise. Having a new song in our mouths doesn’t mean we’re out of the pain that caused our “pit” of despair, or the pain our “pit” caused. If the pit was of our own making, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all consequences of our foolish choices are behind us. It simply means we are no longer stuck. No longer defeated. No longer caked in mud. Our vision is returning. Hints of creativity are emerging. It’s a new day. We can’t help but praise God because His fresh air is breathed into us and hope springs eternal. A whole new level of praise begins to erupt from a delivered soul. Your Song, your worship delights your Maker, delivers you from doldrums and discouragement and draws others into God’s glorious presence. You may not feel like singing. You may feel like sobbing. But even troubled Job declared that His God gave to him “…songs in the night.” Job 35:10. (NIV) No matter how dark the valley you traverse, God has a melody for you. “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:2-3 (NIV) We are all born with a heart-song. When we sing it, the sound may be meager and monotone or masterful and melodious. God doesn’t care. He just cares that we sing it. A virtuoso violinist may play brilliant encore performances to a cheering crowd, but God’s song in the simplest soul is more than that. When we lift our hearts in praise, we silence demons and enter the throne room of God. Our brain is filled with millions of neurological pathways. Are you creating ruts or building holy highways? Singing your praises to God can change everything. He wants to hear your song. Moore, Beth. Get Out of that Pit: Straight Talk about God’s Deliverance. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007, pp. 182, 188, 190. Used by permission.

After I was thrown out of North Park University in the middle of my sophomore year, I returned to Tucson to live with my Mom and Dad. My older brother Jack, who was a graduate student at the University of Arizona, also lived at home. In all the years we lived together with good ole mom and Dad, we never had a ripple. We got along great! We helped out our parents, painted the house, did yard work, took out the garbage, and all the rest. It was a great experience and you sure couldn’t beat the rent! But someone once said, “Fish and company smell after three days.” And I’ve heard enough horror stories to know that my experience is NOT the norm. Do you remember the milestone years in your life? Remember turning 18 and thinking that you were on your own? Remember turning 21 and telling yourself that you are legal? The problem is most of us, especially guys, are not grown up until we’re 25 or older. Now, if you are going to have your adult kids living in your home for any reason, you would be very smart to set up basic guidelines. Another old saying is that “good fences make good neighbors.” And when it comes to this issue, I guarantee you need a fence. Although your home might be rent free, it is not duty free! It’s a home, not a hotel, and your child cannot just come and go as they please (no matter how grown up they think they are). If you could walk the halls of the average college dorm at 2 in the morning, you’d see many kids are not home yet. And many of them are still awake! While your son or daughter sees coming home at 3 in the morning at your house completely normal, you must set the expectation that this is not a dorm, but a home. Your kid thinks,”Hey, I’m 21, you can’t tell me when to be home!” But the truth is, “You are right. You are 21 and I can’t tell you when to come home. But if you come home at 3 in the morning and wake us up when you come through the door and the dog is barking… your seemingly innocent behavior now is impeding on the rights of us old folks that live in this home and pay the mortgage.” Am I saying that on occasion a kid cannot stay out late? Absolutely not. But it would need to be agreed on by both parent and child. I know that college-aged kids living at home can easily turn into a nightmare. Before you agree to this, as a couple you should agree to the “fences” that you need to put in place. If you’re not on the same page, forget it. It’s doomed before you even start! These agreements should be revisited every semester and during the summer. You might discover (or your son or daughter!) that living together at home is all it’s cracked up to be. They might want to strike out on their own. That is a real good experience for young adults to understand that REAL landlords require cash up front, security deposits, and many other expectations that are part of the real world. Here’s some ideas for how you can build “good fences” with your young adult living at home. 1. Clean up after yourself 2 Help around the house 3. Every day ask, “What can I do to help?” 4. Respect your family members These things mean different things to each family, so YOU have to color in that picture. Your son may think cleaning up means dropping the dirty dishes in the sink for someone else to clean. Be clearer than a kindergarten teacher on what your expectations are for living in YOUR home. Now, many parents want to provide a free place to their children as a way of helping them get started or to help with their education. That’s all well and good, but I know other parents that say, “If my adult child is living here, especially if they working, they should be paying rent!” If that is the case, the rent needs to be agreed to and it needs to be paid on a specific day of the month. Cash only, no checks please! As I saw in the store the other day “No checks please, we have a good supply from last year! If things go awry, it’s time for reality discipline. You have to say, “Honey, things obviously aren’t working out, as your Mom and Dad we are giving you 30 days notice to remove what you need from our home because this clear is not working.” Realize that you child might be shocked that you are taking such action. After all, they probably think its “their” home. But reiterate the many reasons why this is not working. Ideally these will be things you’ve already shared and given fair warning that they need to change in order for the arrangement to continue. But if you’ve asked for improvement, and you are still getting woken up in the wee hours in the morning you have to act. If you are still cleaning dirty dishes and laundry, it’s time for an intervention. Be firm, and you will soon realize that you will probably get along better with your son or daughter once they are out on their own, living in an apartment, and and having the rights and responsibilities of young adulthood squarely on their shoulders. Remember it’s a house…not a hotel! It’s up to you to follow through if is not being treated like one. For more of Dr. Leman’s wonderful books and resources, go to: www.drleman.com/store/

Empower your son! You can, you know! How to give your son the confidence to say no! If you have a boy who’s entering the world of adolescence, there’s almost no doubt you’ve worried about him “running with the wrong crowd.” Moms are especially good worriers (you know you are!), but in this case, it’s hard to blame them. With drugs, sex, and guns running rampant, you may find yourself in a cold sweat just because your son is five minutes late for curfew. There’s almost no way you can completely ensure your son’s safety. But what you can do is provide your son with the key components of a loving family: acceptance, belonging, and competence. These ingredients will give your child the confidence to say no to the temptations he will encounter. Acceptance Think back to those awkward adolescent years. I bet you wanted more than anything to be accepted by your peers and, most of all, your family. Your son needs to know that no matter how awkward those sprigs of first facial hair or odd mood swings, that you accept him. Kids will live up to your unwritten expectations. What are you saying with yours? Make sure your unwritten expectations are encouraging. Expect the best and you’ll often get it. Sprinkle in sincere compliments and accept your child even when he fails. Love him, but still hold him accountable. Belonging We all need a place to belong. Ask yourself, where would you rather your son belong, to a an unhealthy group of friends or your family? (Your family of course!) So make sure everyone gets a say in household decisions and that everyone’s opinion is respected. Eat dinners together, and go to each other’s activities as a family. Kids need to know their family is a place where they will always “fit in.” Without a sense of belonging, there is no relationship between you and your son. And without a relationship, what you say and what you do mean nothing. But make your son feel like he belongs, and he’ll be primed for success! Competence No one wants to feel worthless. Make your son feel competent and he’ll have the confidence to tackle new projects and to say no to bad influences. So no matter his age, treat your son as if he’s competent. Give him tasks, and make him feel needed within your family. Don’t do anything for him that he can do himself. Instead, give him age appropriate responsibility, and watch him fly! The more tasks he does, the more competent he’ll become. You can’t keep your son locked in a bubble. Eventually, he’ll squirm his way out, and he needs to be able to function in the real world. Giving him acceptance, belonging, and competence can keep him from going out in search of other more dangerous places to find these necessities. It can also give him the confidence he needs to say no to unsafe situations. So make your home a place of connection—of deep relationships your boy can always count on. If you give your son acceptance, belonging, and competence, he won’t need to take a drag on a joint to “fit in.” He can say no, because he already has a place where he fits, just as he is. For more information on raising your son, check out my book What a Difference a Mom Makes, a book for Mothers and the deep imprint they leave on their boys. – See more at: www.birthorderguy.com/parenting/how-to-give-your-son-the-confidence-to-say-no/

Among the many things to learn about God’s Kingdom, we must also learn principles of spiritual warfare: how to war and how to win. First, though, I have two concerns. The first is our need for wisdom. There is an old European proverb worth heeding. It reads: “Age and treachery will always defeat youth and zeal.” Before we engage in spiritual warfare, we should know this about Satan: he is an ancient and extremely treacherous foe. On the other hand, the strength of most Christians lies primarily in idealism and untested fervor. It is not long, usually five to ten years in the ministry, and most zeal has waned. Without warning, the minister’s call has deteriorated from a walk of vision to a mere job. What occurred was that zeal, by itself, challenged the treachery of hell and lost. The brightness of youthful dreams dimmed under the dark cloud of relentless satanic assault. Under the weight of growing frustrations and discouragement, compromise increased, and with it came iniquity and spiritual bondage. Yet the real villain was not sin but ignorance. We put the devil in a doctrinal box and expected him to stay there. He did not. He undermined relationships, and our love grew cautious. He resisted us in prayer, and our faith turned weak. Disillusionment set in. After spending much time with struggling pastors, I have seen a common trend in most: They failed to discern the assault of the devil. They stood unprotected against an ancient, treacherous foe. Jesus prepared His disciples for everything, including war. They saw Him casting out demons. In fact, He sent them forth doing the same. But before He sent them out, He charged them to become wise “as serpents” yet innocent and harmless “as doves” (Matt. 10:16). This fusion of divine wisdom and Christlike innocence is the taproot of all spiritual victory. Indeed, we can defeat the enemy, but wisdom must precede warfare and virtue must come before victory. Consequently, the goal of this book is to train the church in wisdom and call the church to innocence. We will not disregard what we have previously learned; we will still live by faith. But we must learn the ways of God, which means we must think with wisdom. And we must be pure of heart, that we may see God and gain discernment. Indeed, it is this very ignorance that has left us vulnerable to satanic attack. Of my second concern, let me say that there are no shortcuts to successful warfare, only ways to make it longer and more perilous. One way of peril is to enter battle blinded by presumption. When it comes to waging war effectively, consider carefulness to be the essence of victory. Whatever lofty spiritual plane you imagine that you are on, remember: Adam was in Paradise when he fell. Before your increased knowledge and religious experiences make you overly self-confident, recall that Solomon wrote three books of Scripture; he actually gazed upon the glory of God, yet he fell. Yes, even in your deepest worship of the Almighty, do not forget in long ages past Lucifer himself was once in Heaven pouring out praise to God. We all have seen many who have fallen. Jesus warned that the love of many would grow cold. Do not presume it cannot happen to you. Our enemy has been deceiving mankind for thousands of years. Our experience, on the other hand, spans but a brief moment. It is wisdom to recognize that we do not know all there is to know concerning warfare. Therefore, be bold but never brash or arrogant in your prayer life. Use your spiritual authority administratively and compassionately, but never presumptuously. Multitudes of well-meaning but ignorant Christians have approached the field of spiritual battle with flippant attitudes and have suffered greatly for it. Study several books and seek confirmation from the Lord for your strategies. As it is written, “Prepare plans by consultation, and make war by wise guidance” (Prov. 20:18). Thus, our purpose here is to help equip you for battle in each of the three primary battlegrounds: the mind, the church, and the heavenly places. There are other fields or subcategories of spiritual warfare; however, these are where most of us will face conflict. One last note. A few of you will be instrumental in actually turning your cities toward God. Our prayer is that these chapters will help guide and equip you for that goal. The promise of the Spirit speaks thus: “There was a small city with few men in it and a great king came to it, surrounded it and constructed large siegeworks against it. But there was found in it a poor wise man and he delivered the city by his wisdom” (Eccl. 9:14-15). While many are predicting the destruction of our nation and the collapse of our cities, they have not considered the power of Christ in you. But remember, “Wisdom is better than strength. . . . Wisdom is better than weapons of war” (Eccl. 9:16, 18). —Francis Frangipane, July 1989 Adapted from Francis Frangipane’s book, The Three Battlegrounds available at www.arrowbookstore.com.

Do you ever get tired of the spin? Do you ever feel like everywhere you go and everywhere you look somebody is trying to sell you something? They are trying to spin something one way. You are never getting the full story. Whether it’s media or politics, to them trying to sell you Thompson’s Individual Stringettes, to a brand new vacuum cleaner for $19.99 and you’ll never have to get carpet again in your life! It even starts to get down to the language that we use. John Ortberg has noted how our language has changed a little bit over the last several years. For instance, when a company fires people now they no longer say, “You’re fired.” That would sound way too harsh. They no longer “down size” because that seems negative. Companies are now calling it “right sizing.” We are “right sizing” the whole thing. Guys are no longer “bald,” they are “follicly challenged” or “comb free” as one guy said. It’s no longer “road kill” – it’s “maladaptive compressed life forms,” or in some states in America that will remain unnamed, “road kill” is dinner. It’s no longer “used cars”– now it’s “pre-owned certified vehicles.” Somebody pre-owned it for you. They broke it in for you. It’s not really used. It affects our language. We see it on film and television as well. Reality TV – the big craze. Yet reality TV isn’t really reality TV. It’s still shot, edited, and spliced up to make a point and to get the basic themes of a story across. You can do an amazing amount with editing. We live in a culture where everything is edited, airbrushed, and cleaned up. You can do a lot with it. Do you ever just get tired of the spin? Don’t clean it up. Don’t edit it. Just lay it out there and let me work with it from there. That’s exactly what James does in the Bible. He’s a no bull, no nonsense kind of guy. He starts his book talking about trials and temptations. of that.” It’s not pure joy at the trial, but it’s pure joy in the midst of the trial because you are rejoicing in who God is. That is a lot easier to say than to do. It can be a real challenge to do in our lives. What kind of trials is James talking about here? What is he really talking about? Whatever trials you face, all across the spectrum, in the midst of it choose to rejoice because God will bring a great thing out of that trial and difficulty. James is calling us to rejoice even in difficult times because God will do something great in the midst of it. Paul says it this way in Romans 5:3, “Not only so but we also rejoice in our sufferings. Because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope; and hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us.” There is this progression that Paul lays out here. First of all he says we rejoice in our sufferings. That word for sufferings is an intense word. It means real pain. Real difficult pain may come into our lives. We persevere through it. Suffering produces perseverance. If it wasn’t hard you wouldn’t have to persevere to get through it. Perseverance produces character. Character is really only proven in the midst of difficult times. That’s where character is molded. You could even make the argument that unproven character isn’t character yet at all. Proven character is what character ultimately is. Then there’s hope that comes out of that character that is formed into our lives. Through this hope we realize that we are never disappointed. God’s love on the other side of it will pull us through. We don’t rejoice at the trial. We rejoice in the trial because through this hardship and difficulty God is doing a work in our lives to form us and mature us so we become the kind of people that He desires for us to be. Over forty million Waldo books have been sold in twenty-eight countries all over the world. Don’t you wish the Waldo idea were yours? Here is Waldo so you know what he looks like. He has the goofy glasses and the striped shirt. Do you ever feel like when you are going through a trial or a difficulty in life that you are playing “Where’s Waldo?” with God? Do you ever find yourself in that moment when things are going right and you are wrestling with difficult times and you say, “God, where are You?” You don’t see Him. You pray and you wonder if your prayers are going above the ceiling. You come into church and you leave and still feel empty. You read your Bible but it doesn’t seem to be connecting. Do you ever feel like you are playing “Where’s Waldo?” with God? Where are You in the midst of my struggle? the Bible declares that God is on every page of our lives. He’s there even when we can’t see Him. When we can’t feel Him or not sure that He’s there, He is. Sometimes when it doesn’t make sense, James says, we can ask for wisdom. Look at how he puts it in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom who gives generously to all with out finding fault. It will be given to him.” If you lack wisdom, ask and God will provide. It says He will give wisdom without finding fault. God is loving and faithful. He WILL show you the way.

Internet Pornography: A Ministry Leader’s Handbook —This free e-book, written by pastors and counselors, helps ministers who struggle with pornography understand the importance of confession and accountability. It addresses why pastors are particularly vulnerable to pornographic temptations and what should be done to bring this truth into the light. 10 Stories of Pastors in the Struggle — Read, watch, and listen to the stories of pastors who have struggled deeply with porn and sex addiction and how God set them free. PornToPurity.com — Jeff and Marsha Fisher were church planters until Jeff’s porn addiction came to light. After he was removed from church leadership and found help in overcoming his sin, he started PornToPurity.com, a website for anyone trapped in sexual temptations. Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle , by Michael John Cusick — Michael was sexually abused and exposed to pornography as a child. Later in life, serving as both a youth pastor and a counselor at a Christian university, his sexual struggles only became more acute with porn and prostitutes. This book talks about what he learned in the midst of recovery Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction, by T.C. Ryan — Pastor Ryan had a lifelong struggle with sexual addiction and secrecy. This book shares his story of learning to let the gospel of Christ transform him into a man who can be open, honest, and unashamed before God and his Christian family. Breaking the Silence: A Pastor Goes Public About His Battle with Pornography , by Bernie Anderson — Bernie Anderson battled behind closed doors with pornography for years. In this book, Anderson tells his personal story of struggle and how God changed his life, giving practical tips to protect yourself and your family. My Struggle, Your Struggle, by David Erik Jones — Pastor Jones struggled with porn as a pastor. This book is his personal story of porn addiction that lasted 20 years and how he found freedom while serving in the ministry. Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough, by Justin and Trisha Davis — Justin didn’t just struggle with porn. As a pastor, he also began an affair with another church staff member. This book shares Justin and Trisha’s story and how their marriage recovered. The Pornography Trap , by Dr. Mark Laaser and Ralph Earl, Jr. — This book addresses what should be done when ministry leaders (pastors, deacons, choir directors, Sunday school teachers, etc.) struggle with Internet pornography. The authors share the core issues related to sexual sin and how to develop a biblical view of healthy sexuality. Restoring the Soul of a Church, edited by Dr. Mark Laaser — This book from the The Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute describes the devastation that can happen to a church congregation when a pastor sexually sins and is removed from the church. It gives insight about the neglected secondary victims of abuse: the congregation, the wider community, other clergy, the wider church, the offender’s family, and the pastor who takes over. Stone Gate Resources — Dr. Harry Schaumburg has been counseling Christian men and women about sexual and relational brokenness for years—with a special emphasis on caring for pastors and ministry leaders caught in sexual sin. His intensive counseling is known around the world as one of the best for sexual addiction. ThrivingPastor.org — This is a ministry of Focus on the Family for pastors, including a pastoral care line for ministers who need to speak with a trained counselor. 8 Resources for Ministry Leaders Who Want to Equip Their Church Porn-Free Church: Raising up gospel communities to destroy secret sins — This free e-book is for church leaders who want to create a safe community where taboo sins can be confessed and people can find healing. False Love and True Betrayal — This video series by Summit Church is designed for small groups or recovery groups focused on the pain caused by sexual sin. False Love walks men and women who struggle with sexual sin through a step-by-step process of repentance and restoration. True Betrayal walks spouses of sexual strugglers through the same process as they overcome the pain of sexual betrayal. Pornography Statistics: Annual Report — This conglomeration of more than 250 stats, quotes, and facts about pornography can help any pastor preparing to teach others about this subject. A Bird’s Eye View of Lust and Pornography — This free sermon series can give pastors a place to start for talking with their congregations about pornography in a way that is biblically sound and practically helpful. Fight Porn in Your Church: What works and why it matters — This free white paper from Covenant Eyes looks at how real churches are addressing the issue of pornography and gives practical ideas for programs churches can implement today. Confessing Sin: How Matt Chandler preaches a culture of grace — Matt Chandler of Village Church understand that church leader set the pace when it comes to being open about sin. In this sermon clip , Chandler talks about not being afraid to be honest about sin and being vigilant to fight it. The Quick Reference Guide to Sexuality & Relationship Counseling, by Dr. Mark Laaser and Dr. Tim Clinton — This book gives pastors, counselors, and everyday believers the information they need to help congregants, clients, and friends with their most intimate sexual and relational issues. Join1MillionMen.org — This movement, spearheaded by Pastor Jay Dennis, is equipping church leaders nationwide to bring the issue of pornography into the light where church members can find help and healing. Reprinted from Covenant Eyes. Luke Gilkerson. Used by permission.

At the Global:Church Forum, Michael Ramsden of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries discussed how the global Church is changing. In Luke 14:12-33, Luke relates Jesus’ parable: “He said also to the man who had invited him, ‘When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers[b] or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.’ When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!” But he said to him, “A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant[c] to say to those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to examine them. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ So the servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.’ And the servant said, ‘Sir, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.’ And the master said to the servant, ‘Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you,[d] none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet.’” Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” What happens at the end of the world? There will be judgment. There will be a new heaven and a new earth. And western cultures say, “Oh, and there is going to be a banquet!” But what type of banquet? A wedding banquet. And whose wedding is it? Partly ours. What does it mean to be betrothed? Think of the anticipation. Yet I find it interesting that we often struggle to live as though we are the bride of Christ. Most people in affluent cultures, find themselves having to constantly increase the pace and volume of consumption in order to maintain the same level of enjoyment. This cycle is called the Hedonic treadmill. Research shows that consumers consistently make self-defeating choices. Now in Jesus’ parable about the wedding banquet, the servant is not inviting people to the banquet when he goes out. The invitations have already been sent out and accepted. When the servant goes out, he is merely ringing the dinner bell. But everyone made excuses. The first 2 excuses are commercial in nature, and we understand how people get caught up in money. This is what happens with the affluent. But the third excuse causes a lot of Westerner’s problems. The third excuse is a man saying, “I have a women at home, and I would much rather be doing something with her than you. The is not an affluent excuse but a sexual one. The modern era has become too focused on viewing men and women as sexual objects. We live in e that tells women that they are empowered if they act as sexual objects. How is that progress? In the Western world, sexual desire was driven by a sense of spiritual connection. In India, sex has been long thought of as a mystical connection. But today sex is increasingly viewed as a product to consume. Pornography is rampant. And we increasingly think of ourselves as animals. Slavery reduces people to objects rather than people. Pornography treats people as objects. Sin dehumanizes us. It makes us less human than we actually are. When we treat people as objects, we lose our way. Is it even possible that today’s Christians treat God as an object that is to be consumed? One U.S. government analyst said, “Hypocrisy is the new unforgivable global sin.” When you marry objectifying people and unhealthy consumption with our integrity, what do you have? In Jesus’ parable of the wedding banquet, people had an invitation that they ultimately rejected, so the servant went out and evangelized. The servant sought out who would come. The servant compelled people. He must be compelling. If you do not pick up your cross and forsake all you have, you cannot be Christ’s disciple. That statement cannot be compelling unless God’s servants live it. The trouble is we are trying to teach morals of discipleship that do not demand everything. Even some churches treat people as objects that give them money. Don’t ignore the people in the trenches that are laying down their lives. We have arm chair quarterbacks that are ignoring the pleas of help from those in the trenches as well as their feedback on how to do things better. I’ve known people that would not fund a ministry initiative because they are afraid people will be martyred. But I wouldn’t fund ministry by people who weren’t willing to lay down their lives. Salt that has lost its saltiness is worthless. If the impurities in salt reach a certain level, it will be thrown out and trampled underfoot. Poor areas of the world are modeling out an incredible spiritual richness. So since we are in the West, it is not just enough to learn from the theology of the Church of the South and the East. What we need to do is learn from those who are persecuted and willing to die yet keep growing in their passion for Christ. If as a Church we are willing to pay the cost that the majority of the Church is paying, you will be scared at times, but you will also be more effective. Affluent cultures are born by sacrifice. When we are poor, we mistake scarcity for spiritual discipline. But when affluence comes and scarcity becomes scarce then peoples lives are destroyed if they lack discipline. The trouble is that in the West, we have been affluent for a very long time. The types of disciplines that we need have been gone for a very long time. God has a habit of humbling people who trust in themselves. The goal of life isn’t to live as long as possible but to live a life that is obedient to Him. That is the only life worth living. I think the models of discipleship we have in the West (1) move too slowly, (2) expect to little, (3) promise too much, and (4) expect quick maturity. www.churchrelevance.com . Used by permission.

Studies reveal that about 50 percent of those who marry today will end up divorced. And of the other 50 percent who stay together, only half of those are satisfied with their relationship. No wonder the average marriage lasts only seven years. So let me ask you: How satisfied are you right now with your relationship? — from 7 Things He’ll Never Tell You, but You Need to Know Dr. Kevin Leman I like being a man. It takes a woman an hour or two to get her nails done at the salon. But I can do my nails at a red light in 10 seconds or less with my front teeth. I even make it a game to see how many times I can hit my speedometer with my fingernails. (If you’re saying, “Eww, gross,” you’re definitely a woman. If you were a man, you’d be saying, “All right, score! I’ve got a whole pile on my dashboard.”) I could wear the same pair of Bermuda shorts day in, day out. It would never dawn on me to change them, unless I saw another pair waiting for me on my bedroom chair . . . or unless my wife, Sande, handed a new pair to me, told me to put them on, and whisked the old pair off to the washer. I think I’m dressed up and ready for anything when my shirt has only one spot on it, and I’m in my standard T-shirt, shorts, tennis shoes, and baseball cap. It’s how I dress 95 percent of the time. The other day, as I was taking my wife a cup of coffee in bed, as I do every morning, my daughter Krissy showed up with my two grandkids, Conner and Adeline. I was so excited to see them that I sloshed a few drops of coffee on the kitchen floor. So what did I do? I took my sneaker and rubbed the drops around on the floor a bit, so they would dry faster. “Daaad,” Krissy said, rolling her eyes. “That is so male.” And that’s exactly what I am. A male. I don’t like to share my food with anybody. But I get first right of refusal on anything on Sande’s plate. I am as color-blind as anyone can get. I never ask for directions. I get antsy when you launch into a really long story. I can’t help thinking, What’s the point? Sometimes I act like a four-year-old who has to have everything now… including all of your attention. Other times I am my wife’s hero. When I say things, I mean them. I like to say what needs to be said plainly. But when I’m quiet, I’m hoping you get the drift that I’m not crazy about what you’re saying, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m a tough guy . . . but I’m tender underneath, especially where my family is concerned. (Just ask Krissy sometime how many times I cried when I found out she was engaged, when she tried on her wedding dress for the first time, when she walked down the aisle, when she told me she was pregnant with grandbabies one and two, and when I saw her holding those babies for the first time.) Truth is, I’m no big puzzle. And neither is any man. The path to our heart is well-marked, but it’s also narrow, for there are few that we trust with it. And somehow, someway, we’ve come to trust you. But let’s face it. When you date someone, you always put your best foot forward. Then you hook him, or he hooks you, and you decide you’re both “keepers.” You want to be in this relationship for a lifetime. You can’t wait to never have to say good night and drive off to separate locations ever again. You envision romantic evenings together, wrapped in each other’s arms, in front of the fireplace of your very own home. Once the wedding is over, you concentrate on living life together. Settling into your careers, deciding who will do what around the house, who will keep track of the car’s oil changes, pay the bills, etc. Somewhere in the midst of all this finagling is when you, a woman and a natural problem solver, get your first notion: I don’t remember that bugging me before. Did he always do that? How can I stop him from doing that? All of a sudden, there is a chasm between your expectations and the reality of living with your man. Does he expect me to be his maid? you wonder when you find the heap of dirty laundry under his side of the bed. What’s more important to him — hanging out with the guys or spending time with me? And if he likes “guy time,” why does he act all hurt when I go out with a girlfriend? I thought we talked about our budget. I’ve been sticking to it. And then he went and bought that plasma TV. We can’t afford that. What was he thinking? If he’s an engineer, how come he never gets around to fixing our leaky faucet? The list can grow. You’re the Energizer Bunny of communication. He’s the rabbit on his side with a dead battery. If you’re not aware of the true needs of a man — what he dreams about, thinks about, and what motivates all he does — disillusionment can set in. Misunderstanding can grow to anger and bitterness. You can begin thinking, This sure isn’t what I signed up for. Most people in relationships live with an expectancy that they can change the other person. That if they just work hard enough, long enough, and if they nag enough, the other person will eventually change. But that’s a little like trying to rub the spots off a leopard. Sure, you can try to make that critter all one color by scraping his skin with a Brillo pad, but you won’t wipe off those spots. You’ll just irritate the leopard. Makeovers work great with clothes, hair, and houses, but they don’t work well with leopards or the men in your life. A woman who sets out with a Brillo-pad personality won’t get very far before she irritates the man in her life enough to shut him down. No one likes being told what to do . . . especially a man. If you want to catch a mouse, you have to put cheese — a mouse’s favorite — in the trap. You can try pineapple, but all you’ll be left with is an empty trap. In the same way, you need to understand the male species before you try to change him. Otherwise you may have good intentions, but you’ll be going about it the wrong way. No matter how much society tries to make the two sexes androgynous, men and women clearly are different. Are they equal? Absolutely! But they are not the same. When women talk about the man of their dreams, they use words such as rugged, protective, handsome, and strong. Yet the media is trying hard to turn the image of a man into a feminine, wimpy man-child. Someone who will be your girlfriend, who will go shopping with you, always see eye-to-eye, and give you the verbal and emotional strokes you long for. But a happy marriage is one in which both partners understand, accept, and celebrate their differences. They enjoy relating to each other and seeing the world through each other’s unique eyes. They cut each other some slack during pressured or tough times. (Before you get annoyed with your husband, just think of how annoying you are during that “special time” of the month. It’ll put a lot of petty grievances into perspective.) Your guy isn’t like you. He shouldn’t be like you. If he was, why would you have found him interesting? Those differences can drive you crazy — or they can drive you together. Understand a guy’s basic needs, and all of a sudden you’re talking his language. The paycheck at the end is huge. Think about how many close friends you, as a woman, have. Now, how many do you think your guy has? If you answered 0 or 1, you’re right on the money. Your guy needs just one intimate friend — you. He wants to please you. So don’t underestimate yourself. You rate much higher in his life and thoughts than you could ever dream. He’d take a bullet for you. He really would. Visit www.drkevinleman.com for his invaluable resources.

What if Jesus walked into your church office, applying for a staff position. Would He be welcomed? Would He be laughed out of the office? Would he be politely dismissed in favor of a flashier, more opportunistic pastor? David Murrow creates a tongue-in-cheek scenario about Christ’s mission and today’s church methodology. Very telling…. [CHURCH OFFICE SETTING. TWO MEN SEATED ACROSS A DESK FROM ONE ANOTHER.] INTERVIEWER: Your name, sir? JESUS: Jesus. INTERVIEWER: Your full name? JESUS: Jesus of Nazareth. INTERVIEWER: Jesus F. Nazareth. All right Mr. Nazareth. Tell me, why do you want to work at First Church? JESUS: I’m here to proclaim the good news to the poor, freedom for the captive and sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free and proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. INTERVIEWER: Well, that’s a rather ambitious agenda. But at First Church we like employees who think big! So how to you plan to accomplish these lofty goals? JESUS: I’ll recruit a dozen men and lead them through a series of challenges over the course of three years. I’ll show them how to minister to others. I’ll test them at every turn, to see whether they have true faith. INTERVIEWER: That’s it? JESUS: Yes. INTERVIEWER: And then what? JESUS: They’ll change the world. INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry Mr. Nazareth, but I’m having a hard time seeing where that kind of ministry fits into our church’s strategic plan. JESUS: Strategic plan? INTERVIEWER: First Church adopted a strategic plan 2 years ago. We’re targeting young families with children as a key growth demographic. Parents and kids are under such pressures today and we want to help them be healthier. JESUS: An admirable goal. How do you hope to achieve it? INTERVIEWER: We’re rapidly expanding our offerings for children. We’ve hired 2 new youth staff and recently broken ground on a new youth building. JESUS: Why are you doing this? INTERVIEWER: Mr. Nazareth, don’t be naïve. If we don’t offer quality children’s and youth programs, women will choose another church. As you know, women are the religious decision makers in the home. And if we lose women we also lose our volunteer base. JESUS: What about your men? Are they being actively discipled? INTERVIEWER: We have a men’s ministry. They meet for a monthly pancake breakfast in the church basement. JESUS: That’s not what I asked. INTERVIEWER: Mr. Nazareth, I believe I’m conducting the interview here. Now let’s say we hired you to challenge 12 men for a few years. What about all the other men? Won’t they feel left out? JESUS: Some will. INTERVIEWER: You see, that just won’t fly around here. Our goal is to reach as many people as possible. Our slogan is, “There’s a place for you at First Church.” We don’t exclude anyone – and we don’t put any limits on God. JESUS: If you never single a man out and call him to greatness, he will never become great. INTERVIEWER: Excuse me? JESUS: I tell you the truth: every man secretly dreams of being called into an elite group and molded into something extraordinary. That’s what I intend to do with a limited number of men. INTERVIEWER: Elite group? You make it sound like the Navy Seals. What if your challenges are so tough that men drop out of your group? Won’t these men feel alienated from our church? They might go around and spread lies about us, accuse us of being a cult, that sort of thing. JESUS: Many are called but few are chosen. One cannot be faithful to God’s call without incurring criticism. Yet I tell you the truth: if you call and train a handful of faithful men you can change the world. In a generation, you will have the healthy families you seek. INTERVIEWER: Mr. Nazareth, we are totally down with your good news to the poor message, but I can’t see how you get from A to B. How does working with one small group of men result in the outcomes you’ve described? How can we lavish limited church resources on such a tiny number of members, who quite frankly, being men, just don’t offer the R.O.I.? JESUS: As these men change, the church will change, and your city will change. And at the risk of appealing to your flesh, your church will double in size over the next five years if you do the things I’ve told you. INTERVIEWER: Well, Mr. Nazareth, I need to be at a planning meeting for the upcoming youth retreat in a few minutes. It’s been very nice to meet you and we’ll be in touch. [REACHES OUT TO SHAKE HANDS] Ooooh, that’s a wicked scar. How did you get that? – See more at: Churches for Men. Used by permission.