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What should elders be like? Outside of the Bible, you’d be hard pressed to find a better, sweeter, more uplifting explanation than the one given by David Dickson The Elder and His Work. Chew on these words. Be encouraged. Be challenged. Be inspired. Pray for grace. 1. The office and work being spiritual, it is necessary that elders should be spiritual men. It is not necessary that they be men of great gifts or worldly position, of wealth or high education, but it is indispensably necessary that they be men of God, at peace with Him, new creatures in Christ Jesus; engaged in the embassy of reconciliation, they must be themselves reconciled. We must love the Master, and the work for the Master’s sake. If we do love it, it will be a happy service because it is a willing service. And as our souls prosper, our work will prosper; the joy of the Lord will be our strength… 2. We should have a good knowledge of the Word of God, and be able to give a reason for the hope that is in us. Not that we must be theologians, able to grapple learnedly with all heresies or controversies; but we should be well read in our Bibles, and able to do what Aquila and Priscilla did to Apollos. Elders should be men to a certain extent “established, strengthened, settled” (1 Peter 5:10), not “novices”, whom the elevation to office in the church is likely to make heady, forward, crotchety, conceited. For very young men and very young Christians, other useful though humbler spheres are more suitable. It is a very great help to an elder to have been for some years previously a Sabbath-school teacher, and thus accustomed to study the truth and to apply it. Such work will also test his intelligence and interest in divine things. If an elder is to discharge the duty laid upon him in Scripture – “to reprove, rebuke, and exhort” (2 Tim.4:2), to “be able by sound doctrine to exhort and convince gainsayers” – the Word of God must be the man of his counsel, his daily companion… 3. Elders should be men of common sense, knowing when to speak and when to hold their tongues. Even grace does not give common sense, a little of which would settle many controversies and heresies in the church of Christ. Men of points and pugnacity are very annoying in a session or congregation, and they may rise to be the terror of presbyteries and other church courts. They may love the truth at heart – and we believe they often do – but they love fighting too. For such men the grave and quiet duties of the eldership have little or no charm. A carping, censorious spirit is to be watched and prayed against in all of us: it is often the precursor or companion of backsliding in doctrine or life. An uneasy conscience likes to find faults in others. Having many different characters and tempers to deal with, we need as elders to be men of a meek and quiet spirit, not going from one extreme to another – men of practical wisdom and sanctified common sense, and thus able to judge matters calmly and not as partisans. 4. We must be consistent in our life and conversation; we must be clean that bear the vessels of the Lord; men of good report, both with those who are without and those who are within the church; model members of it; “examples to the flock” in faith, hope, and charity, ruling our own children and our own houses well. In these days wolves find it profitable to put on sheep’s clothing, for a certain amount of religious profession is a help and not a hindrance to a man’s worldly prosperity. the church and the world are thus in danger of fraternizing, and it is always the church that loses… The usefulness of an elder will depend in the long run more on his character than on his gifts and knowledge. Quiet Christian consistency will give weight to his words of advice and be a daily lesson to all around. His walk and conversation, his style of living, his companions and friends, his geniality, his amusements will all have an important influence, not only on his own family, but on the people of his district and congregation. young people especially notice, and get good or evil from, much that they do not speak about to others. They should learn from us what a Christian is like, not by the frequent use of pious expressions, but by the clear, transparent outflow of a life “hid with Christ in God”. Brethren, “what manner of persons ought we elders to be in all holy conversation and godliness?” (2 Peter 3:11). 5. Last, not least, we should be men of deep sympathy – having not only human kindness in our hearts, but that sanctified and consecrated. Having experience of the ups and downs of human life, we should have sympathy with human hearts, ready to “weep with them that weep and rejoice with them that rejoice” (Rom.12:15). The world is not governed by logic, and to do much good in it, especially as Christian men and elders, the words of truth we speak must come warm from our hearts, or they fall cold and pointless. It was once said to me of another, ‘He’s a good man, but somehow he never reminds me of Jesus.’ Much of our usefulness will lie not only in knowing the wants, natural and spiritual, of our people, but in our having that heart-sympathy with them that will make us open our hearts to them, and will lead them to open their minds and hearts to us in return. We can best learn this by living in fellowship with him who was displeased with his disciples when they rebuked the mothers for bringing their little children to Him, and when they wished the hungry multitude to be sent away unfed. Taken from David Dickson, The Elder and His Work, pages 30-38.

I’ve been following the Lord for a little over 30 years now. And as I’ve watched the passing parade, some of the most zealous, devout, committed Christians that I knew in their 20s and 30s are now atheists in their 40s. They filed Chapter 7 on their Christian life. Each of them shared one of three things in common: They chose to become offended by God when He didn’t meet their expectations. They chose to become bitter at those who hurt them. They made provision for their flesh and were completely overtaken by it. Holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith (1 Timothy 1:19). Likewise, some of the people who claimed to be utterly dedicated to the vision of God’s central mission later abandoned it for an easier, less costly, more convenient life. They filed Chapter 11 on their spiritual progress. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful (Matthew 13:22). Point: There are no guarantees when it comes to our walk with the Lord. What God knows mortals do not. The truth is, all of us are hanging by grace. Every day. “The one who endures until the end will be delivered,” Jesus said. John wrote, “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us” (1 John 2:19). The entire culture is pressing on us to take our eye off the ball. To divert our attention from Jesus to the flesh, the world, and the enticements of the enemy. Egypt, Babylon, and Sodom cry out to us every day from every quarter. Consequently, we all need encouragement to go on with the Lord . . . to keep Christ before our eyes. Teetering on the edge of spiritual bankruptcy is no fun, but it’s a red flag to motivate you to seek spiritual encouragement. And to receive it. If you’re down, you can bet that some Christian you know is up. And when they’re down, you can return the favor. The antidote to spiritual bankruptcy? See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first (Hebrews 3:12-14). According to the writer of Hebrews, the antidote to an unbelieving hard heart, the deceitfulness of sin, and turning away from the living God is mutual encouragement. Not mutual tear-down, mutual bickering, mutual hair-splitting, mutual condemning, mutual finger-pointing or mutual in-fighting. But mutual encouragement. But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you don’t consume one another (Galatians 5:13). There once were two cats of Kilkenny Each thought there was one cat too many So they fought and they fit And they scratched and they bit ‘Til excepting their nails And the tips of their tails Instead of two cats there weren’t any. Acknowledging to yourself and to someone else that you’re stuck in your walk is the first step to getting unstuck. And finding people and communities where mutual encouragement is the norm (opposed to tear-down and in-fighting) is the best way to protect your spirit. Spiritual bankruptcy can be avoided. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).

As a community of believers grows, its needs new leaders raised up to handle the increased ministry needs. This is true for churches that handle growth by multiplying into new locations and for churches that keep their growth in one location. It is the story of Acts 6:1-7. The early church was a time of growth where 5,000 men could find Christ from just one sermon (Acts 4:4). Yet we see in chapter 6, that the Greek-speaking Jewish widows became lost in the bustle of growth and were neglected. Seven men of good reputation and spiritual maturity were chosen to meet that need. Unfortunately, raising up volunteers isn’t easy. It’s hard work. And to have Acts 6 quality volunteers takes a culture well-equipped at discipleship and cultivating spiritual maturity long before being appointed to serve. Volunteer Challenges Based on Church Size The benefit of house churches (<25 people ideally) is they have no need for volunteers to run major equipment, maintain facilities, or manage ministry operations. What volunteer needs do exist tend to happen naturally, such as greeting newcomers and watching kids. But as a church grows, even a house church, the need for volunteers and structure increases as the ease of relationships decreases. For example, it is said that the quality of community intimacy declines after a house church exceeds 25 people. At this size, it is less likely for everyone to take part and more difficult to know each other deeply. At around 100-230 people, we experience Dunbar’s number – our cognitive limit of being able to know who everyone is and how they relate to each other. This is a medium-sized church (51-300) that still has some relational agility but still needs structure to meet all ministry needs and appoint believers according to their gifts. Large churches (301-1,999) often undergo intense growing pains as they learn they can no longer know everyone. It is at this size and above that we more commonly see volunteer mistakes, such as: not communicating volunteer opportunities lack of clear leadership lack of leadership training lack of accountability lack of volunteer appreciation haphazardly appointing volunteers (lack of necessary spiritual maturity, abilities, etc.) By the time a church grows to be a megachurch (2,000-9,999) or gigachurch (10,000+), they’ve usually figured out structure and now must work even harder at relationships and love. If left to itself, structure and management become cold and sterile. You can’t systematize love and relationships; trying just seems artificial and disingenuous. It is a weird tension because you need structure, but true love is sloppy. This is non-negotiable. It doesn’t matter how structured and high performance you are, if you don’t have love, it is in vain (1 Corinthians 13). So each stage comes with its own challenges. Regardless of what size you’re at, download ACTIVE Faith’s free ebook and think through if there is anything that your church needs to change.

There’s enough circulating in the media today to discourage Christians about the future of marriage and family. In a recent Atlantic article, “All the Single Ladies,” Kate Bolick suggests we stop thinking of “traditional marriage” as society’s highest ideal. Divorce is no longer the “new” normal, it’s just normal. In the 1980s and 90s, the term “turn-key kids” was meant to represent a sad reality for children. Now the term has been largely retired because of its regularity. These cultural developments have led evangelicals to become more family-centered, both for our own sake and also for the sake of our neighbors. Promise Keepers encouraged men to love their wives. John Piper and Wayne Grudem edited a scholarly and pastoral—in my opinion, definitive—book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood , arguing for a complementarian understanding of the home and local church. The name Focus on the Family speaks for itself. But with every response, there’s always the danger of over-correction. It’s not that I think some evangelicals have become too conservative or too traditional. I worry that they’ve simply adopted traditional cultural and societal norms, instead of biblical norms. Zechariah and Mary The two birth announcements in the Gospel of Luke to Zechariah and Mary reveal how a society’s “traditional” family values may not line up with God’s. Zechariah, the priest married to a barren woman, and Mary both heard miraculous announcements about impending childbirth. Yet while Zechariah responded with skepticism and doubt, Mary responded with faith and wonder. So why would Zechariah, a priest, doubt an angel of the Lord? He knew the story of Abraham and Sarah, so the idea of an older, barren woman giving birth wouldn’t be ridiculous to him. But consider Zechariah and Elizabeth’s situation. Some of you may know the pain of not being able to have children. It’s the feeling of 10, 20, even 30 years deeply desiring children with hopes unfulfilled. Zechariah and Elizabeth also suffered shame. Luke 1:24-25 reveals Elizabeth’s heart. She said, “Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.” By reproach she meant the shame that comes from known barrenness. Maybe some of you have experienced this reproach from more conservative societies, where family is held in such a high regard. If you’re nearing your 40s with no children and maybe not even married, you start to receive questions like, “When are you going to get yourself a husband?” “When are we going to start seeing some little ones around here?” You hear the whispers. Every baby shower brings guilt and shame. Zechariah and Elizabeth also dealt with questions about whether they did something wrong to deserve barrenness. Was there some hidden sin? Worse, Zechariah was a religious leader, a priest! Can you imagine how this public shame undermined his position, his authority? So for Zechariah, pain and sorrow turned to shame and disgrace. He held on tightly to the cultural idol of family. This idol filled his heart so that there was no room for the truth of God’s promise, even if he heard it from an angel. The good news of a coming son did not inspire joy but unbelief. It’s too late. We’re too old. Two Common Errors Reading about Zechariah and Elizabeth while studying our own age, we discern two errors common to societies when it comes to family. First, a society can value personal independence and autonomy to such a degree that family and children become burdens. What God has provided for our joy and human flourishing, we regard as a killjoy, draining personal resources that we’d rather use to advance our own dreams, ambitions, and plans. But there’s another wrong view. A society can make the family the most important thing. It can become an idol, something that fundamentally defines us. We regard anyone who never marries or cannot have children as somehow subhuman. They must have done something wrong to upset God. By contrast, the Bible actually teaches a radically subversive message about the family. God, we often discover, is the cause of barrenness in women. Stories of family dynamics rarely flatter. You’ll never find a Leave it to Beaver household in the Bible. Rather, we see constant distress, rivalry, and jealousy. Usually this dynamic doesn’t result from undervaluing children. No, we see it when children become the most important thing! Not only that, Jesus also has some deeply alarming things to say about the family, sounding almost cold and uncaring—see Mark 3:31-35 and Luke 14:26. And finally, it’s difficult to make family the most central thing for Christians when the two most prominent figures in the New Testament, Jesus and the apostle Paul, were both single. Actually, Christianity made singleness a legitimate way of life for the first time in any culture or religion. Christ and the Church Before you thumb your noses at traditional values on marriage and family, remember this: When God wanted to paint a picture of his great love for he church and cost of his death, he cited marriage between a husband and wife. God in Jesus Christ is the faithful and sacrificial husband for his bride, the church. In fact, the Bible often describes our spiritual union with one another and God using the language of family. Through the cross of Jesus Christ, we see that God is no distant judge, but a Father; Jesus is not only a friend of sinners, but our brother; we share not only a common belief system, but we also live in community as brothers and sisters. While the family cannot be so important that it invades the space in our heart that only God should occupy, we see that even from Creation, God designed marriage and family to result in a maturing society. Zechariah, however, warns us not to make family the ultimate thing. He turned it into a false god, leaving no room for the truth of the real God. Not so with Mary! She responded with wonder and faith, saying, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). She, too, had dreams and hopes for family. She was even betrothed. You don’t think she daydreamed of what her family might be like? We know from John 8 that Mary’s pregnancy out of wedlock was public knowledge. Many believed that Jesus was born from “sexual immorality.” So Mary endured the whispers, stares, and brooked smiles. A virgin birth was hardly family-centered in that traditional society. Might we have whispered and wondered about her, too? Christians should have strong convictions about marriage and family. But their convictions should come from the Bible, not simply the norms of traditional societies. John Starke is an editor for The Gospel Coalition and lead pastor of All Souls Church in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. You can follow him on Twitter. Used by permission. Originally titled “Just How Family-Centered is the Bible?”

Contrary to popular belief, men do have feelings. But most men are reluctant to share those feelings with others. Women, on the other hand, have no problem opening up. Why the difference? Men are trained from a young age to deny their true feelings. Complete this phrase: “Big boys don’t __________.” We enforce this rule with our boys from an early age. Five-year-old Patrick falls off his bicycle and skins his knee. The pain is so intense tears well up in his eyes. His friends gather around him and start taunting. “Crybaby!” they yell. Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 9, a bully begins picking on Patrick. The more emotional Patrick becomes, the more taunting the bully dishes out. Patrick learns to suffer in silence. At age 12, Patrick goes out for the baseball team – but is not chosen. He becomes emotional. His dad tells him to, “Buck up, and take it like a man.” Patrick learns to keep his true feelings inside. At age 15, Patrick is sitting with friends in the school cafeteria. He says, “Hey guys, I’m struggling with some fears. Can I share my heart with you?” Patrick is quickly laughed out of the room. He learns to keep is true feelings inside. At age of 19, Patrick is feeling overwhelmed by college, the demands of his fraternity and his part-time job. His girlfriend just dumped him and his bank account is overdrawn. When he shares his anxieties with one of his frat brothers he’s dismissed as a “navel-gazer.” He learns to keep his true feelings inside. Every time Patrick opens up and shares his true feelings and emotions, there’s a man who tells him to stop. Or he pays a penalty for opening up. Patrick gets the message: to be a man is to deny your true feelings. Contrast this to his sister Edie, who cries freely when she skins her knee, who’s allowed to mourn when she feels rejected, and who easily shares her emotions with her friends. Why are women allowed to share their innermost feelings but men are not? For thousands of years men have been hunters and warriors. Hunters had to project an air of strength and confidence at all times. If a hunter were to complain about the cold, a lack of food or his fear of being mauled by a saber-tooth tiger, he could bring down the morale of the rest of the hunting party. If a solder were to speak openly of his fear of death or injury (or worse yet dissolve into tears) he could spook his entire platoon. Men also had to swallow their fears at home. If a hunter were to admit the possibility of an unsuccessful hunt might cause the tribe to panic. Same with war – if a soldier were to admit to his wife he was afraid of defeat, morale at home would suffer. Meanwhile, women were free to share their fears and emotions back at camp. In fact, this sharing was therapeutic and healthy for the women and the tribe. This is what gave rise to the double standard. Women have been free to share emotion because it’s beneficial, but men have had to keep their sorrows private because it could lead to disaster. Thus, societies have trained boys from a young age to keep their emotions in check. This prepares boys for the day they may someday be called upon to project an image of confidence in the face of danger. So we have yet another societal adaptation that has served humans well in the past, but has failed to keep up with the times. Today most American men don’t go to war. They don’t face imminent starvation. Sure, men still deal with bad news, unemployment and setbacks. But modern men rarely face the life-and-death situations that made emotional aloofness so important to our ancestors’ survival. The church can help men get in touch with their emotions – but it must walk a tightrope. It must provide forums for men to be real with one another, without pushing men too hard to fast. Most men’s ministry consists of Bible studies. We are focused on the acquisition of knowledge, which is a good thing. But we never get around to sharing from the heart because the format is wrong. On the other hand, some men’s groups are too focused on emotions. Some leaders press their men to share intimate details of their personal lives. Most men will not go there during an initial meeting; it takes time and familiarity before a man can trust others. True story: My friend Brian was invited to a men’s group at his church. At the first meeting group leader pulled out a towel and basin and washed the men’s feet. The next week only one man showed up. This was too much intimacy too soon. (Remember, Jesus didn’t wash his disciples’ feet until he’d walked with them daily for three years). One other reason men have a hard time opening up in a small group: if I am completely honest about my struggles, I am handing you a weapon you can use to destroy me. For example, if I tell you I’m using pornography, you now have the power to wreck my reputation in the church, to destroy my family, and maybe even get me fired from work. So yes, we want men to open up and be real. But the road that takes us there is a long one. A man must overcome the weight of society’s expectations and a boatload of fear before he can let another man see into their heart. churchformen.com/products-page/

One thing I love about the automobile industry is their solution to problem solving. Faulty parts do not have to undergo painstaking surgery. They are simply replaced with a duplicate part that works. Imagine if God suddenly called you to a different role in ministry, would there be someone that could fulfill the responsibilities of your current position? Would there be a replacement that could do the same job? Learning the principle of duplication is an important key to being able to grow a lasting ministry. It allows for your church to keep running smoothly even if a few parts are replaced along the way. Jesus’ twelve disciples were chosen to help Him with His earthly ministry, but more importantly, they were chosen to become duplicates of Him so that they in turn could duplicate His nature in others. They were not precise duplicates of Christ because they had sinned, but they did learn how to be Christ-like. As a leader, you should know how to duplicate your role in ministry three different ways. First, learn to duplicate yourself as a boss would. Train people beneath you to do more generic tasks so that you can focus on doing what only you can do. Moses did this in Exodus 18:13-26 when he established a system of judges to help maintain order among the Israelites in the wilderness. As a result, Moses did not wear himself out and was able to endure the pressures of his calling. Similarly, the Apostles in Acts 6:1-7 appointed seven men to administer a food program so that they could focus on prayer and preaching the Word. As a result, the number of disciples in Jerusalem greatly increased. Second, learn to duplicate yourself as a teacher would. When you went to school, you did not go to learn something that you would only practice at school, but you went to learn something that you could practically apply elsewhere in a situation that needs it. God has given you specific gifts. You have been called to a specific role in ministry. Remember to share your knowledge with others. Teach them so that they may go throughout the world and use that knowledge to further the gospel. Lastly, learn to duplicate yourself as a mentor would. Ensure that someone can take your place once the season in your current role of ministry is fulfilled. Jesus focused on mentoring His disciples so that they could effectively continue His ministry after His ascension. Mentoring takes time, but that investment is well worth it when your years of hard work don’t die but continue to thrive after you leave. Recently, I transitioned from one area of ministry into another. I had been involved with a preschool ministry for over six years. Throughout the years, I oversaw handfuls of workers. With each worker, I would duplicate myself as a boss would. I would train them to handle various tasks according to their gifts so that I could focus on administration and preaching. With several workers, I duplicated myself as a teacher would, and they took what they learned and put it to use supervising their own classes. Yet when it was time for me to transition into a new area of ministry, I needed to turn to the man I had mentored. Mentoring requires four stages to guarantee success. 1. Potential The first step is to look for someone with potential. Who appears to have what it takes to do what you do? Sometimes this is obvious, but do not forget to consider less obvious candidates. Jesus picked disciples that many thought were unfit for religious work, but He saw potential in them. So how can you see potential? Start with a set of requirements. The early church had requirements for elders (Titus 1:6-9). Are there any essentials for your role? These guidelines will help you narrow down the list of potential candidates. 2. Teachable Second, you must look for someone who is teachable. A person can have all the potential in the world but is useless if he is unteachable. The teaching process is the longest stage of the four. The more complicated your role in ministry, the more difficult it will be to teach to someone. If there is someone who has already learned similar skills to yours, that is an advantage but not necessarily essential. The only essential is that he or she is a good learner. 3. Performance Some people are learners but not doers. You need someone who can put into practice what they learn. Yes, you may have to correct him or give him guidance along the way, but overall, he or she needs to be capable of performance. Ideally, that performance will be even better than your own. 4. Sustainable Lastly, that performance needs to be sustainable. You’ve found someone who can learn and perform, but can he or she handle the pressures of flying solo? Will the ministry be able to last and thrive under the person you mentored? This is a true test of leadership. I was fortunate to have someone who met these four stages. He has been able to continue my previous area of ministry so that I can focus on where God wants me now. Best of all, he has brought leadership gifts of his own that will help further season the workers serving him and add a fresh approach to the ministry itself. No matter what your role is in ministry, look for people who you can duplicate yourself in. Whether you are a janitor, a designer, or a pastor, look for people who can learn from the excellence in what you do. Never stop duplicating. More from Kent Shaffer or visit Kent at www.churchrelevance.com Used by permission.

Here are some amazing statistics that re-shape the stereotypes of faith among Hispanic Americans. George Barna gives us a glimpse of the paradigm shifts we are now experiencing. Hispanic Statistics in the United States Earlier this fall we celebrated National Hispanic Heritage Month (mid-Sept through mid-Oct). How familiar are you with the hispanic cultures and traditions of the U.S. residents whose heritage came from Spain, Mexico, and the Spanish-speaking nations of Central America, South America, and the Caribbean? How well, if at all, does your church understand hispanic culture? The Hispanic population may not be a minority for much longer, and it is vital that your church understand their culture if you ever want to reach them. In honor of the hispanic community, we have collected the following general hispanic statistics. 52.0 Million – The estimated Hispanic population of the United States as of July 1, 2011, making people of Hispanic origin the nation’s largest ethnic or race minority. Hispanics constituted 16.7 percent of the nation’s total population. (Census.gov) 132.8 Million – The projected Hispanic population of the United States as of July 1, 2050. According to this projection, Hispanics will constitute 24 percent of the nation’s total population on that date. (Census.gov) More than 1 of every two people added to the nation’s population between July 1, 2010, and July 1, 2011, were Hispanic (1.3M of 2.3 M total) (Census.gov) 27 – Median age, in years, of the Hispanic population in 2010, compared with 32 for blacks, 34 for Asians and 42 for whites. (PEW) 5 states with the highest percentage of hispanics – CA (27.8%), TX (18.8%), FL (8.4), New York (6.8%), Illinois (4.0%). (PEW) 8 – The number of states with at least 1 million Hispanic residents. These states are: Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, New Jersey, New York and Texas. ( Census.gov 2.3 Million – The number of Hispanic-owned businesses in 2010. (Census.gov) 66% – The percentage of Hispanic families consisting of a married couple. (Census.gov) 41% -Â The percentage of Hispanic families consisting of a married couple with children under the age of 18. (Census.gov) 25% – Percentage of population under age 5 that is Hispanic, as of 2008. (Census.gov) $38,624 – The median income of Hispanic households in 2011 (Census.gov), a real income a decline of 4.1 percent from 2009 to 2012. (Washington Post) 26.7% – The poverty rate among Hispanics in 2011, a 4.9% increase since 2005. (Pew) 14.1% – Percentage of hispanics with a bachelor’s degree or higher (Census.gov) 71% – Percentage of hispanics age 25 and older who have at least a high school education (compared with 88% for blacks and 94% for whites) (IES) FAITH AND HISPANICS The Barna Group recently launched Barna:Hispanics, an entire section of it’s website dedicated to research specific to the hispanic community. In addition to their great (paid) reports, they have also released several free infographics. Hispanics & Faith 2012 (a series of 20 infographics) Understand one of the fastest-growing audiences in America. As the nation’s largest minority group—and one of the fastest-growing segments—Hispanics are an increasingly powerful force shaping our society. And with 84% identifying themselves as Christians, Hispanic Americans are also shaping the face of American Christianity. Hispanic America will give you an understanding of the faith, values and priorities of this important group. You’ll gain insights into these areas of Hispanic life and thought: Expressions of Faith Social Views & Concerns Work & Vocation Money & Finances Families Children & Youth The Bible Worldview Unchurched Latino viewpoints Demographics & Psychographics Politics Reliable, authoritative data and insightful analysis come together to create a useful tool for those who want to help shape the Church of tomorrow. Learn how to minister to and serve alongside Hispanic Americans with the groundbreaking new report Hispanic America. “This is one of the best comprehensive studies on our Hispanic population. I commend you for the wide scope and depth of the information.” Dr. Fermín A. Whittaker CEO, California Southern Baptist Convention See what others are saying about the Hispanic America report. It is critical that we see how God is moving among our Hispanic population here in the United States and around the world. www.churchrelevance.com . Used by permission.

You’re not imagining it: there’s a severe shortage of single men in the church. Not just here in the U.S., but also around the world. When I was writing my first book, I spoke to a Christian woman from France. “Once a woman receives Jesus here, she is unmarriagable,” the woman said. “There are almost no men in my country who are following Christ. And French men will not marry a woman whose faith in Jesus is so strong. She is a leper in their eyes.” Christian colleges are becoming convents. I recently visited a Christian college in the Pacific Northwest, whose student body is 66% female. Camerin Courtney writes, “I often joke with a single male friend of mine that because of his gender, he’s got a buffet of dating/mate choices stretched out before him. I, on the other hand…am starving in the desert.” Christian writers like Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) have have given men permission ignore the opposite sex — and appear godlier for it. So even the guys who go to church seem afraid to date. They may feel pressure since there are so many women to choose from. One man said that going to a singles meeting feels like “walking into a room full of bees with honey smeared on your face.” There’s even a joke about the gender imbalance. It goes like this: Men in the church are like parking spaces. All the good ones are either already taken, or they’re handicapped.” So where are all the single Christian men? How can you meet one? Research shows that single men are more likely to attend churches that fit the following profile: Large (thousands of attendees on a weekend) Headed by a male pastor who’s bold and outspoken Non-denominational Contemporary worship style Conservative theology Risk-taking culture Offers intentional male discipleship Worship service done in under 90 minutes I’m not suggesting you switch churches over this issue. You need to grow where God has planted you. But it probably wouldn’t hurt to visit such a church – especially if your church offers nothing for singles. A columnist for Christianity Today writes, “I have great single female friends who want godly husbands—as do I. We want to build strong Christian marriages and raise good godly children. And we simply have no idea where to find these great men, if they even exist.” Yes, they exist, but they’re hard to find because demand is outstripping supply. http://www.churchesformen.com . Used by permission

Many of you have heard the tale of the mouse who rode the elephant across a bridge. After getting to the other side, the mouse said, “We really shook that bridge!” Of course, it’s the elephant that shook the bridge, but the mouse rode the power! We know that momentum is mass times velocity. The elephant has several thousand times more mass than the mouse, and the elephant can also run faster. In fact, for the two to have the same momentum, the mouse would have to travel faster than sound! But if the mouse simply rides the elephant, the mouse can rapidly plow through a jungle of obstacles. I had a professor who said, “Just stay on the bus, and the bus will take you where you want to go. But you have to stay on the bus.” Holding onto this truth helped me to get through a tough doctoral program. Taking this saying to heart is similar to believing in one of my favorite scriptures: “See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared” (Exodus 23:20). To get to where we’re going, it’s important to simply keep our eyes on Christ and trust that He’ll bring us victories that we anticipate. As a therapist and marriage counselor for over 30 years, I’ve seen hundreds of “underdogs” take charge of their lives. Many of us have been underestimated and even treated unfairly. Others have been abused, have run afoul of the law, have been born with chemical imbalances, or have faced unimaginable family-of-origin horrors. Some people have simply had set-backs to their well-ordered lives and high expectations. None of this is easy and it takes a toll on us. So I try to remember that life isn’t fair, but God is MORE than fair. Sometimes we have yet to see what’s on the OTHER side of the bridge, “the place” that God has prepared. Turmoil and confusion can be the beginning of creativity and victory. With a passion for the fulfillment of dreams, for victories over any obstacle, and for service to Christ – oftentimes with many miracles! – many have risen from ash heaps to mountain tops, from believing lies to believing the truth, from confusion to vision, and from defeat to victory. We can be just like that mouse! All we have to do is ride the elephant. And at the end of the ride we can say, “Wow, we really shook that bridge!” Points to Ponder: Before I shake the bridge, I want to know four things: ? It’s the right bridge (a call of God or one of my missions in life). ? It’s the right time. ? I’m ready for greater obstacles on the other side of the bridge. ? I’m ready to live a victorious life.

Dead. That’s exactly how John felt that morning as he faced the platform. He was singing along with the music, eyes closed, trying to focus on the lyrics, trying to lift his heart to God as best he knew how. But like many Sundays before, his soul felt shriveled and uncomfortably numb. If those who stood around him only knew the depths of his sin, how would they treat him? If they knew about the websites he visited the night before, what would they say? What would his wife say? Men like John are all too common in the church today. According to Pure Desire Ministries, after collecting thousands of surveys from churches all over America, men like John comprise 60-70% of the men in our pews (plus 25-30% of women, and sadly, 50-58% of church leaders). Can churches become communities where people like John find repentance, hope, and healing? The good news is many leading churches are striving for this, and they are reshaping the culture of the church to change lives. Dry Drunks in the Pews How could so many Christians be so sexually broken and go unnoticed? Is this problem really as large as it is made out to be? According to Leadership Journal, more than half (57%) of pastors surveyed say porn addiction is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation. Some in the pews are undeniably addicts of the first degree: their sexual compulsions have brought them to unfathomable depths of perversion. And they are paying dearly for it. But others have only convinced themselves they don’t have a problem. Ted Roberts of Pure Desire likens these men and women to “dry drunks”: they watch a little porn now and then, they masturbate, they sexually fantasize, but they would never call themselves “addicts.” Outwardly their sexual habits might pass for unharmful, but inwardly they are filled with loneliness, bitterness, and lust. Their marriages are far from intimate. Their fellowship with others is shallow at best. And week after week they lose a little more hope that things will ever be different. “Our church, every church, all this culture are awash in lust, pornography, and every manner of sexual perversion,” says Pastor John Piper of Bethlehem Baptist Church. “We are, in fact, so awash that we’ve become fish who don’t even dream about air anymore.” Opening the Can of Worms: Taking on Taboos Some church leaders have said enough is enough, and they have become intentional and strategic about tackling this issue head-on. James Reeves, senior pastor of Celebration Fellowship in Fort Worth, likens the damage of pornography to a coming tsunami. “The issue of sexual addiction caught us unaware at first,” Reeves writes. “All around us marriages began to fall apart, husbands started getting caught with pornography, in affairs, and visiting prostitutes, and we knew we had to do something. Although we were heavily involved in recovery ministry already, we knew very little about how to deal with the specific issue of sexual addiction. So we got informed, educated, and went to work.” On Sept. 21, 2003, they devoted a special Sunday to the issue, entitled, “The Day Celebration Told the Truth about Pornography.” They had a panel discussion where six couples and one man, all of whom were in recovery, told their stories. They spoke about the shame, frustration, and despair that comes with this addiction, and they talked about their path to recovery so far. Reeves didn’t announce the topic beforehand to his congregation so people would not come up with convenient excuses to miss church that morning. “From that day forward,” says Reeves, “we were off and running in ministering to men, women, and families caught in this area.” Even smaller churches are taking action. Rev. Hank Van der Woerd ministers to a growing congregation of 250 families in the immigrant community in Southern Alberta, Canada. Even among this farming community, the members of Trinity United Reformed Church are no strangers to the problem of pornography. Rev. Van der Woerd, along with ministers from surrounding churches, decided to organize a seminar for all their men, age 14 and up, where they communicated biblical, psychological, and practical advice for men facing this temptation. The event was well-attended, and while there were some naysayers, critics were soon silenced when they were confronted with the enormity of the problem. For the elders of Trinity, this is only the beginning of their approach to this problem. Determined to help their 900 members, the elders have decided to set aside funds every year to purchase Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability for any family who wants it in their church. They are sending a message to the church-at-large: we want to be a community of hope and healing, where secrets sins can be brought into the light. The Inevitable Fight with Shame For many men and women who deeply struggle with sexual sin, a feeling of shame clings to them like a wet blanket and often become the biggest barrier against seeking help. Biblical counselor David Powlison says shame and guilt are related but distinct experiences. “Guilt is an awareness of failure against a standard,” such as a rule or a personal expectation. But shame, says Powlison, is “a sense of failure before the eyes of someone else.” Shame is overtly relational. For many porn and sex addicts, the shame is so acute, being open and honest in a spiritual community sounds like the last thing they want to do. So for churches that are proactive about this issue, disinfecting the shame-dynamic is a constant battle. Disinfecting Shame at Hospital Church And religious environments, unfortunately, encourage masks and pretension. A few decades ago, Pastor James Reeves came to believe that the church (as he experienced it) was not a safe place to talk about real problems. Reeves was saved at age 18 right off the street. He grew up, as he says, “poor white trash in a tin-roof house.” He was no stranger to drugs and alcohol. His own father died a penniless alcoholic in a flop house. Coming to Christ brought about a radical change in his life and eventually, after college, he entered a life of vocational ministry. However, six years into his pastoral career he sunk into an inexplicable and deep depression. His fellow church leaders gave him a short sabbatical, during which Reeves discovered how insufficiently he had recovered from the hurts and sins of his past. He returned to his church, not only refreshed, but with a new vision for what he wanted his church to become. He desires his church to become a place where people felt free to bring their deepest hurts and their biggest secrets. He calls it “Hospital Church.” The church, says Reeves, is meant to be like a hospital gown. “The hospital gown is designed not for concealment but easy access.” Reeves dreams of a church where people can be completely transparent—warts and all—and for the past 20 years, Reeves and the leaders of Celebration Fellowship have worked hard to intentionally create an atmosphere of grace to make transparency possible. Similarly, Dr. Bill Berry of Central Church in Collierville, Tennessee, says battling the shame-orientation is crucial to helping men and women come out of hiding. Dr. Berry has been the director of Battle Plan Ministries for 12 years in his church, and through this program he has watched scores of men walk out of the darkness of porn addiction and into the light. He knew men and women were seeking private counseling for these problems—a tactic he calls “covert warfare”—but he wanted his church to be a place where men could be honest publically about their struggles. Berry says he started Battle Plan for this very reason: to change the culture of his church and give men a safe forum for being honest without fear of condemnation. He now oversees four Battle Plan groups around the Memphis area. Modeling Brokenness from the Front Where does transparency start? Jon Acuff calls Christian leaders to give “the gift of going second.” When one brave soul speaks first, when he or she shares the raw and dirty details off their life, others in the room are given “the gift of going second.” It’s so much harder to be first. No one knows what’s off limits yet and you’re setting the boundaries with your words. You’re throwing yourself on the honesty grenade and taking whatever fall out that comes with it. Going second is so much easier. And the ease only grows exponentially as people continue to share. But it has to be started somewhere. Someone has to go first, and I think it has to be us. In the New York metropolitan area, Grace Community Church reaches thousands with its weekend services.Nearly every week Pastor Jarrod Jones will stand on the platform and remind his congregation, “This is a church where it’s okay to not be okay.” Jones, himself, is no stranger to the struggle of sexual sin. He writes candidly about what he has learned from his own struggles in his book, 13 Ways to Ruin Your Life. This environment of grace is one of the reasons why their Men’s L.I.F.E. Accountability Group is as strong as it is. Mike Pagna, who leads this Saturday morning fellowship, believes strongly that leaders need to set the pace when it comes to transparency. “I don’t care if I’m labeled a sex addict,” he says. Wanting more guys to come clean about their struggles, he would create venues to tell his story: men’s breakfasts, youth group events, anywhere he was given a platform. This not only drew guys to his group, but it also empowered men to be honest when they got there. “The leader needs to really, really lay it out. I need to lead with my junk so other guys can talk about theirs.” This is the same approach used by Pastor Darrell Brazell of New Hope Fellowship in Lawrence, Kansas. Brazell struggled with pornography since he was 10. He pursued a career in ministry believing if he devoted his life to God in full-time service, God would make his sexual struggles go away. When this did not happen, his heart was eaten alive with shame, and the addiction only became worse. Brazell started to find freedom when he opened up about his struggle to other fellow pastors. Because of his willingness to share his story with others, more and more men came to Brazell for help for their sexual sins. In October 2003, Brazell founded New Hope Fellowship, and to this day its sexual addiction recovery ministry is the church’s largest outreach to the surrounding community. Brazell knows his situation is unique: not every pastor’s story is like his own. But he believes strongly that pastors need to be honest about their own weaknesses. “If the teaching pastors do not understand their own brokenness and constantly proclaim grace, no recovery ministry is going to thrive.” www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

In my books I offer a lot of advice for attracting men to church. Among these are the obvious “spiritual” suggestions: preach better sermons, do a better job loving people, offer ministry opportunities for men, etc. But then I get into some practical ones: choose manly songs. Ditch the quilts, flowers and lace. Don’t make people hold hands. Go easy on the Love Songs to Jesus. I tend to focus more on these practical steps because we rarely give them much thought. My critics often take issue with these suggestions. They have a hard time believing that song lyrics, paint color, décor and metaphors make a difference. God is all-powerful, and the idea that He could be limited by something as trivial as pink walls or romantic lyrics is insulting to many Christians. Let me be clear: God is God, and he can do whatever he wants. If God is present in worship, it won’t matter if the pastor wears a pink ballerina tutu – men will be drawn. The Spirit always trumps the practical. Yet practical things do matter. Let’s say this Sunday your church’s furnace goes out. The temperature outside is near freezing. The sanctuary temperature drops into the mid-40s (8° C). You decide to hold your worship service despite the temperature. The Spirit comes and people get a blessing. Things go so well you decide not to repair the furnace. Week after week you leave the furnace unrepaired. The temperature in your church varies widely based on the weather. Tell me, what will happen? Would there be complaints? Opposition? Defections? Yes, yes and yes. People would leave your church over the temperature of the sanctuary. Now, should air temperature matter? Not at all. Paul and Silas praised God in a smelly jail cell in Philippi. Peter was crucified upside down. Shouldn’t we have the fortitude to praise God in a room that’s a bit frosty? Are we really that weak? Are today’s Christians shallow people concerned only with their own comfort? Perhaps. But we’re focusing on the wrong issue. Look at it this way: when people come to church they want to focus on God. Not on distractions. A cold sanctuary is a distraction. If takes our focus off the Lord and places it on ourselves. Our discomfort. Our frigid fingers. Our fussy children. At Church for Men, we help you identify the distractions that are keeping men from focusing on God when they enter a church building. Many of these things are trifles. They really shouldn’t matter. But they do. If there were only one church in a particular city, the little things would not matter as much. But modern worshippers have choices. They come to church seeking God. And they’ll choose the church where sense his presence. God’s voice is still and small. The fewer distractions, the easier it is to hear his voice. Some of my critics feel that I’m reducing the power of God into a commodity. That I’m suggesting we somehow manipulate the pure gospel message to appeal more to a certain constituency – in this case, men. This is not what I’m saying at all. In fact, I’m suggesting the opposite: the pure Gospel has already been manipulated in subtle ways to appeal to a female audience. Church for Men helps congregations restore a healthy masculine spirit – a spirit that’s widely present in the Bible but woefully absent in many congregations today. David Brooks wrote an insightful article in the New York Times cataloging some of the ways people are affected by seemingly trivial environmental factors. Among these: Organic foods may make you less generous Men are dumber around women Women inhibit their own performance Judges are tougher at election time New fathers are stingier with their money Children from affluent neighborhoods are more often delinquent Women wear red to impress men Now, should any of these things affect our jobs and our relationships? No. But they do. We’re only human. And when we walk into a church we’re affected not only by the Spirit, but also by our environment. Getting that environment right (and removing distractions) will help men connect with God. www.churchesformen.com . Used by permission.