Teams are important because of synergy. Churches get people to give them money to create volunteer positions for them to fill. If you don’t know why something is working when it is working, you won’t know how to fix it when it breaks. But leaders are generally bad at evaluating things that work. Leaders tend to be good at evaluating problems. This is why church leaders tend to blame things that break on people rather than systems. You might not need a new youth pastor; you might need a new system. When you see something working well, ask, “Why is this working so well?” The reason things work well at churches is because of high performance teams. Regardless of the size of your ministry, you want and need high performance teams. You need action-oriented people who have extraordinary clarity around what are we doing, why are we doing it, and why are we doing it here? Irreducible Minimums for High Performance Teams #1 :: Select performance-oriented people and position them for maximum people. Recruit doers and not thinkers. If you have to choose between a doer and a thinker, choose a doer. It is much easier to educate a doer than it is to activate a thinker. Jim Collins says, “If you have the right people on the bus, the problem of how to motivate people largely goes away.” Great vision without great people is irrelevant. Put people where they can create their greatest contribution. Albert Einstein says, “Everyone is a genius, but But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” You’ve got to figure out a way within your organization to get the best people in the right roles. It usually takes bypassing the politics of who deserves the role by tenure. Everyone on the team needs to feel the interdependency of the team. Speak to your staff and volunteers so that they understand the interdependency. The senior pastor depends on the children’s ministry volunteers in order to do what he does. Every role is essential to the whole ministry. Interdependency won’t be felt unless key leaders makes people feel valued and that their roles are important. #2 :: Clarify the what and why. Performance oriented people like to win. You must clarify the win for every staff and volunteer position. When you clarify the win, it becomes the magnetic north for the energy and get-it-done doers of the organization. When you don’t define the win, each individual will define it for themselves. Teams dissolve when the problems are all solved. Conversations about change don’t begin around conversations about the problems. Conversations about change begin around conversations about a common goal. You have to organize to the what. Once you clarify the win/what, you must create an organization where all of the resources are allocated to that win. Don’t force your staff and volunteers to have to work around what your organization was structured for. Nothing frustrates high energy people more than having to do work arounds. The lion’s share of your time and money must go to getting critical mass. #3 :: Orchestrate and evaluate everything. Orchestrate means this is how we don it here until further notified. Great teams never depend on individual thinking and creativity. Great teams know exactly what the play is when it is called. Linebackers don’t get creative except when in trouble. Orchestration is the elimination of discretion. High performance teams stick with the playbook. Orchestration brings consistency and predictability to all of your processes. Orchestration will make your organization seem more personal. Evaluate everything. Create a feedback loop. As a leader you must stay close to critical events, or you will default to numbers, which get exaggerated. Figure out how to get close to key events in your church. Has your organizational growth pushes you so far back that all you see is numbers? Numbers are never accurate. See it for yourself as often as possible, and create meetings in between to learn more than numbers. What you are doing is so important. Notes created by Kent Shaffer from Catalyst Conference 2012. Used by permission of Kent Shaffer, www.churchrelevance.com.

Do you or your child experience ADD or ADHD symptoms? What are the most common? A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one’s goals (regardless of how much one has accomplished) that often creates anxiety and sense of failure for the individual. Difficulty getting organized, particularly with situations that involve multi-tasking. Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started with even small projects or tasks. Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow-through on any of them individually. Tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark. An ongoing search for high stimulation. A tendency to be easily bored with a short attention span. Easy distractibility, trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or a conversation, often coupled with an ability to focus at times. Often creative, intuitive and highly intelligent. Individuals can exhibit innovation. Trouble going through established channels, following proper procedure. Impatient; low tolerance for frustration or failure. Impulsive, either verbally or in action, as in impulsive spending of money, changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans, and the like. Tendency to worry needlessly, endlessly; tendency to scan the horizon looking for something to worry about alternating with inattention to or disregard for actual dangers. Sense of impending doom, insecurity, alternating with high risk-taking. Depression, especially when disengaged from a project. Restlessness. Tendency toward addictive behavior. Chronic problems with self-esteem. Inaccurate self-observation. Family history of ADD, manic-depressive illness, depression, substance abuse, or other disorders of impulse control or mood. Causes of ADD and ADHD ADHD is believed to be inherited. ADHD is two to three times as likely to be diagnosed in boys as girls. The actual cause of ADD is unknown, but it is probably associated with subtle differences in brain structure, its neural pathways, its chemistry, its blood supply, or its electrical system. Regardless of the cause, ADD or ADHD can be disruptive in the life of the individual. Child and adolescents particularly report not only difficulty dealing with daily activities, but sensing a deep frustration that only serves to exacerbate the already tough symptoms. Many people report personal duress, confusion and discouragement over their behaviors. They often recognize the problematic nature of their behaviors, their inability to control their behaviors and the impact of their behaviors of their environment. Many carry a sense of guilt over their inability to control these behaviors, feeling that they are somehow inadequate, stupid or retarded. Often self-esteem becomes an issue. What You Can Do ADD and ADHD can be managed. Seek a qualified therapist who can assist you or your child in building effective coping skills. Develop structure within the home and school environment to assist the child in better managing behaviors. Explore issues such as adequate sleep, nutrition, structured study and recreation as well as regular exercise. If the symptoms are significant, consider the possibility of medications to assist the person/child in further managing their behaviors. Dr. Julie Barrier says: “For the Christian, quiet meditation, prayer and Scripture memory can assist in slowing down the racing brain. Focusing on God’s will for one’s life and channeling the purpose and passion God created within oneself will harness creative energy. The discipline of fasting can also help. Remember, there is hope!” Recommended Reading: Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey, Driven to Distraction ( New York: Simon and Schuster, 1995) This information is presented for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for informed medical advice or training. Consult a professional.

1. Porn causes men to feel like they “need” sex. The journal Human Brain Mapping published a study demonstrating that while many men and women have similar regions of the brain activated during the viewing of porn, only in men is there a significant activation of the thalamus and hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is responsible for primary drives for food, water, and sex, as well as motivation and hormonal control. This means, when men get turned on by porn, their bodies experience sexual arousal not just as a desire but as a survival need (even though, unlike water, men will not die if they don’t have sex). 2. Male brains don’t just view porn. They enter into it. The journal NeuroImage published a study demonstrating that as men are sexually aroused by pornography, the mirror neurons in the brain also fire. This means the brain naturally imagines the porn viewer in the scene. The man is not merely responding to the naked woman. His brain is mirroring the pornographic scene with the viewer as the main character, heightening arousal. 3. Porn gives men a new standard of beauty. According to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, when men are shown pictures of centerfold models from Playboy and Penthouse, this significantly lowered their judgements about the attractiveness of “average” people. 4. Porn dampens a man’s ability to think straight. The Journal of Behavioral Decision Making published a study showing that as a result of viewing porn, men are more likely to find a wider range of sexual activity exciting, more likely to engage in morally questionable behavior, and more likely want to engage in unsafe sex. 5. The more porn men watch, the more their brains look like an addict’s brain. Cambridge Neuropsychiatrist Valerie Voon discovered that the brains of habitual porn users show great similarity to the brains of alcoholics. When a self-confessed porn addict sees a pornographic image, a brain structure called the ventral striatum “lights up” in the same way it lights up for an alcoholic who sees a picture of a drink. 6. Viewing porn over time makes men lose self-control. By using more and more porn, the viewer’s brain begins to change as a result. Dr. William Struthers demonstrates that viewing pornography and masturbating weakens the singular cortex—the region that is responsible for moral and ethical decision making and willpower. 7. Porn makes violence sexy. According to research by Dr. Dolf Zillmann and Dr. Jennings Bryant, the more porn one is exposed to, the more likely one is willing to trivialize rape. After just five hours of pornographic exposure stretched over a six-week period, subjects were willing to cut the sentencing of an accused rapist in half, compared to those who had not watched pornography. Those who watched more porn were also likely to believe that practices like sadomasochism were two to three times more common (i.e. “normal”) in general society than those who had not seen porn. www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

Rape is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can endure. Rape and violent death are among the experiences many women fear most. Sexual assault is a very complex type of violence. It leaves the victim with more dilemmas than just the physical and emotional aspects. It also produces a crisis of faith that must be addressed if the survivor is to continue to work through the recovery process. Carol Adams, in her book, “I Just Raped My Wife,” suggests three qualities of the pastoral counselor that are essential when survivors disclose their experiences: The ability to process information about the dehumanizing violence enacted by one person against another. The ability to process information about the dehumanizing violence enacted by one person against another. The ability to provide practical assistance. The ability to reflect theologically. More importantly through, these three characteristics must be balanced. If any of these aspects become disproportionate to the others then there is the danger that certain areas of the survivor’s care will be neglected. Adams further suggests three components of a pastoral counseling model to survivors of sexual assault. Care: The pastor/counselor can say “I am sorry this has happened to you.” The survivor can be assisted in grieving the lost of safety and security. The pastoral counselor can validate the feelings of the survivor. Concern for safety: The pastor/counselor can take practical steps to ensure the safely and feeling of security for the survivor. Empowerment: The pastor/counselor can offer assurance that it is possible to reestablish control over life. By posing questions to the survivor such as “What can I do?” The pastoral counselor can empower the survivor to make decisions. The problems of the survivors of sexual assault may be complex, however the role of the pastor/counselor cannot be over-stressed. Survivors are going to need someone who can be trusted, someone who makes them feel safe. Survivors also need someone to help them interpret what they have just experienced. This is perhaps one of the fundamental aspects that need to be addressed in order for the survivor to cope with the assault and begin to recover. In addition, the church can offer invaluable ministry to the survivor in the way of understanding, acceptance, and support. Prayer and personal affirmation help heal deep wounds. Vining, Dr. John Kie (1997) When Home Is Where the Hurt Is: A Ministry Guide for Trauma Victims, http://www.marriagecomission.com/ pp. 162, 198-199. Adams, Carol, J. (1993) “I Just Raped My Wife!” Transforming a Rape Culture eds. Emilie Buchwald, Pamela R. Fletcher, Martha Roth, Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions.

When I was young, there were plenty of people who didn’t think I’d amount to squat. My life’s philosophy was “I only count when I get other people’s attention.” And that’s exactly what I did. I was an expert at making people laugh, having a good time, and driving teachers up the wall. I wasn’t concerned with making the grade (my siblings already had that base covered), and my saintly mom was in school talking to the principal more than I was in class! My teachers all told me the same thing—“If you’d just apply yourself, Kevin, you’d do so much better” or “Why can’t you be more like your brother and sister?”—that is, all except for Miss Wilson. When I look back, I count Miss Wilson, my gray-haired math teacher, as one of the top five people who really mattered in my life. She was the first one to tell me I had any skills. Just a few months before graduation, Miss Wilson cornered me and said, “You know, it occurred to me the other day, and I wonder if it ever occurred to you, that maybe you could use some of the energy you expend on these antics to really make something of yourself, rather than just being the proverbial class clown—at your expense, I would add.” This blew me away. It even made me angry at first. But her expression told me that she saw something in Kevin Leman that others didn’t, and so I gave her a chance. It was thanks to her help and tutoring that I was able to make the grades to graduate. Even when I was sure I was dumber than mud, Miss Wilson didn’t give up on me. Later, I would meet another wonderful woman who didn’t give up on me either—my wife, Sande. My point is, we all have dreams, goals, and things we want to do with our lives. But it’s awfully hard to get there without any help. We need people who believe in us, who don’t give up on us, like Miss Wilson. When you’ve got a person who believes in you, you’ll find you have a lot more courage to try those things you never thought you could do. I always ask people when I’m speaking, “Who believed in you?” If you’re successful in any area, it’s because perhaps one person believed in you. If you had two people who believed in you, then you’re really blessed. Consider the people in your own life who’ve believed in you. Do they know how grateful you are? Maybe take some time to write them a thank you note and to provide them with some encouragement. Also, ask yourself what you’ve done to let the people you love know that you believe in them. Everyone needs to have someone who believes in them. As for me, if it wasn’t for an old math teacher, I might not be writing this. – See more at: www.birthorderguy.com/self-help/a-little-belief/

She sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee and check her e-mail on her iPad. Trying to find a website she visited the day before, she opened the browser’s history. Instead, what she found completely shocked her. One after the other, a list of sexually explicit titles appeared in the history log. Page after page, the raunchy titles continued. Slightly panicked, but paying careful attention to the details, she noticed these sites were all accessed in the afternoon the day before. Her husband had been at work then. Wasn’t him. Then she remembered letting her 10-year-old son borrow the iPad to play some games. Reality sank in. From what she could tell, her son had spent at least an hour or so glancing through these pages. The question that plagued her was: What should she do now? A Parental Nightmare Many parents today feel like they are playing catch up when it comes to educating their kids about sex. It seems our sex-saturated world is getting the first word in too fast—and our kids are growing up too fast. When a Christian parent discovers that their child or teenager has been looking at pornography, to some this can seem like a small nightmare. How can parents approach this topic with tact and love? More importantly, what prevents parents from having this discussion, even when they know there is a problem? 1. Because parents are uncomfortable talking about sex The first big reason parents don’t like the idea of talking about porn is because the idea of talking about anything sexual with their child bothers them. Porn touches on all the things about sex that seem like awkward topics: different body parts and what they do, the pleasure of orgasm, not to mention all the sexual variety porn portrays. If sexual topics are uncomfortable, the topic of porn is way out in left field. 2. Because they believe a little porn is nothing to worry about A child discovering his or her own sexual desires is as natural as the day is long. Our children are sexual beings. Parents often look back to their own childhood, how they clumsily figured out their own sexual feelings, and say to themselves, “Looking at a little porn won’t hurt anything. They’re going to see it anyway, right? I’ll just keep tabs on things. No need to make a big deal out of this. 3. Because they don’t have a good theology of sex It is one thing to be uncomfortable talking about sex with a child or teenager. But for many parents it goes beyond comfort to confusion: they simply don’t know what they would say about porn or sex. They would have a hard time coming up with words that give their children a foundational understanding of why God created sex, why God created it to be so pleasurable, and why porn is a problem. 4. Because they are afraid they will awaken sexual curiosity too early For many parents, the question of timing is the biggest concern. How early is too early? How late is too late? If they err, they would rather err on the side of silence. They don’t want to awaken undue sexual desire in their child too soon. What if they say something about sex and want to find pictures of it online—or worse yet, try it with someone? Many parents want to wait until they are absolutely sure the time is right. 5. Because they’ve never seen it done before Many parents know that talking to their kids about sex is a good idea, but some are paralyzed by the fear of “doing it wrong.” No one ever talked to them about sex when they were kids (aside from maybe a discussion about anatomy). The thought of a parent-child relationship that freely and naturally discusses sexual topics is about a foreign to them as Greek or Swahili. Shattering the Fears Five facts demolish these five fears: 1. You may be uncomfortable talking about sex, but you are the person most equipped in your child’s life to converse with them about it. No one knows your child like you do. 2. A little porn can do a lot of damage. Porn is the worst kind of sexual education a child can get, and the more they see, the more their sexual beliefs will be shaped by it. 3. You may not feel like you have a good “theology of sex,” but there’s never been a time in history easier to learn. Countless resources are available to parents today. 4. If your child/teen has been exposed to porn, it has already provoked a curiosity about sexual matters. This is not the time to hold back because you are afraid of speaking too soon. Your son or daughter needs your wisdom, not your silence. “Too much too soon” is a rare circumstance in today’s world. 5. You do not need to see this done in person to do it well. Glean from those who’ve done it before. To help you along with this, you can download this free step-by-step discussion guide, When Your Child is Looking at Porn. Don’t let inexperience or ignorance be an excuse anymore. www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

Do you ever get tired of the spin? It even affects the language that we use. John Ortberg has noted how our language has changed a little bit over the last several years. For instance, when a company fires people now they no longer say, “You’re fired.” That would sound way too harsh. Companies no longer “down size” because that seems negative. Companies are now calling it “right sizing.” Guys are no longer “bald,” they are “follicly challenged” or “comb free” as one guy said. It’s no longer “road kill” – it’s “maladaptive compressed life forms,” or in some states in America that will remain unnamed, “road kill” is dinner. Do you ever just wish someone would tell you like it is? That’s exactly what James does in the Bible. He’s a no nonsense kind of guy. James, in chapter 1, teaches us about how to face trials and temptations. Strange. James is brutally honest. James tells us is to choose to rejoice. He encourages us to choose to rejoice when we face trials and difficulties in life. By the way, when we find ourselves in the middle of a tough time, that is also a time when we face temptation to give up, to think that God has deserted us. James says, “When you face trials and difficulties in life, choose to rejoice.” James 1:2 NIV James says, “Consider it pure joy in the midst of trials, in the midst of struggles, and the midst of temptations because you know God is going to do something out of that.” It’s not pure joy at the trial, but it’s pure joy in the midst of the trial because you are rejoicing in who God is. That is a lot easier to say than to do. The word for “face” or “encounter many trials” is the same word Jesus used when He told the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke twelve. This poor guy was going about his day, just walking down the road. He fell into the hands of bandits who robbed him and brutally beat him, then left him bleeding by the side of the road. Like Jesus’ story of the unfortunate man, James is saying whatever trials you face, no matter how great or small, choose to rejoice in the midst of it because God will bless you in that trial, that difficulty. Tim Hansel was an award-winning rugby player and loved sports. He was a mountain climber as well. In fact, he earned the nickname Thrasher, because of the way he aggressively climbed a mountain. At one point Tim was on the Sierra range climbing a 14,000-foot glacier. Suddenly, he lost his footing. He fell at thirty-two feet per second. When he hit the ground, all of his friends thought he was dead. They found him in a ravine. To their amazement, he woke up. He was able to function and talk. He didn’t have any bones broken, he was just shaken up. He said he felt a little shorter. He hiked out of the mountains and went all the way home. Tim never told his wife what happened. For three whole days he functioned normally. The fourth day, he woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. His doctors told him his body had been in complete shock for three full days. Every joint in his body began to throb. Now he exists with constant, chronic pain in every joint of his body. Sometimes he can’t sleep for ten weeks at a time. Days that go by that Tim can’t reach down and put his hands below his knees because of the pain. He talks about the time he tried to play tennis. He lightly threw the ball up and hit it to a friend and broke all his ribs. His body is absolutely falling apart. If anybody has the right to be miserable it would be Tim. Yet he wrote a powerful book called, YOU GOTTA KEEP DANCING. What an impact his words made in my life. Tim confessed, “I’ve prayed hundreds if not thousands of times for the Lord to heal me and He finally healed me of the need to be healed. I discovered a peace inside the pain. I’ve survived because I’ve discovered a new and different kind of joy that I never knew existed. A joy that can co-exist with uncertainty and doubt and with pain, confusion, and ambiguity.” James teaches that joy can co-exist with pain, confusion, and struggle. He’s saying rejoice even in difficult times because God will do something great in the midst of it. Persevering through pain produces character and dependence on God. We don’t rejoice at the trial. We rejoice in the trial because through this hardship and difficulty God is doing a work in our lives to form us and mature us so we become the kind of people that He desires for us to be. Taken from “Temptation Uncensored” by Jud Wilhite. Used by permission.

Church leaders want to be good stewards of what is entrusted to them, but each generation has struggled to find an appropriate way to measure their effectiveness. Businesses measure return on investment (ROI), but measuring return on ministry investment (ROM) is much trickier. Here’s a few reasons why: The Inputs Healthy ministry takes more than money and heavily relies on a mix of time, money, talent, and obedience to the Holy Spirit and God’s Word. These inputs are a difficult mix to quantify. The Results Even trickier is attempting to measure spiritual fruit – authentic conversions, maturing believers, discipleship, accountability, right heart attitudes, purity, and biblical obedience. God’s Economy What is the most effective thing in ministry doesn’t always make rational sense. After all, God likes to use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). While it is good to be strategic and make wise choices in ministry, we must always be sensitive and obedient to leadings from the Holy Spirit. In other words, we must be willing to throw out our plans and programs and follow the Holy Spirit when He guides differently. Sometimes healthy and obedient ministry is reaching thousands of people, and sometimes it is spending 40 years to win one convert. What matters is obedience. Reality is it’s impossible to measure ministry effectiveness with man-made metrics. There will always be some mystique to the way God works and what He truly defines as effective. So how do churches measure their effectiveness? While there will never be a perfect formula, churches have found supplemental metrics by counting attendance, finances, commitments to Christ, baptisms, small group participants, and volunteers. While not direct indicators, these metrics can be good hints as to a ministry’s health. Some church leaders have borrowed tools from the business world, such as Harvard Business School’s Balanced Scorecard (BSC) for performance management. Nonprofits and businesses have been using the Balanced Scorecard for two decades to: Align efforts with the organization’s vision and strategy Improve communication internally and externally Help prioritize programs and projects Evaluate performance against strategic goals Free Ebook Ministry consultant Eric Soon has tweaked the Balanced Scorecard to better fit churches’ needs, and ACTIVE Faith is offering a free whitepaper – “Excellence in Ministry: Balanced Scorecard” – as a great introduction to using the BSC in ministry. If your ministry is healthy and built on a strong foundation of prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit, then tools like the Ministry Balanced Scorecard can be a wonderful complement to your ministry and produce greater stewardship as long as you use it within the framework of your unique calling. Church Relevance, Used by Permission of Kent Shaffer. 2013. Special thanks to ACTIVE Faith for supporting Church Relevance by sponsoring this post.

READ JOHN 12: 20-32 There are two words in the Greek language that could be translated as Greeks – Hellenistoi and Hellenes. Both refer to Greek affiliation. John uses here the latter word. The difference between the words is usually understood as the following: Hellenistoi is used for Greek-behaving people, like Greek-speaking Jews (Hellenized Jews); while the second word refers to ethnic Greeks (in this case probably the Greek God-fearers that we meet in the book of Acts). However, in John’s Gospel, we are faced with an interesting dilemma. John does not seem to use hoi Ioudaioi (usually translated as the Jews) as others use it. He has his own use that is particular to his Gospel, given his unique audience and situation. (The use of hoi Ioudaioi meant something to his audience that it does not mean to others). NOTE: To read posts on all previous chapters of John, please, click “The Jewish-Samaritan Journey” banner that appears on the right bar. Thinking along the same lines it is entirely possible that John has his own use of Hellenes as well. Whereas others use the term Hellenes for ethnic Greeks, John may be using it in a different way. But this of course is only a possibility. The burden of proof is upon those who would like to argue that these were Hellenized Jews and not God-fearing Greeks. We must however think of both possibilities with the first still being the most probable one. Whether Hellenized Jews are in view or Greeks God-fearers (probable version), who were seeking out Jewish religious leader for a meeting, Jesus’ following had reached the farthest corner of Jewish influence! (If one looks at the Israelite umbrella of various Jewish movements, the Gentile God-fearers who had not fully joined Jewish community, but in many ways affiliated themselves, can be viewed as occupying the furthest corner of Jewish communal influence.) Now that Jesus has followers not only in Judea, Galilee, Samaria, but also in the Diaspora he declares that the time for the Son of Man to be glorified has finally come (something that he denied number of times before). 24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. What is very intriguing here is that the Gospel does not tell us if Jesus actually met with the Greeks. Instead the author switches his emphasis to the words of Jesus where he spoke of his coming death and sacrifice. It is likely that Greeks were invited in; and what comes in the following verses may constitute a summary of that conversation. Jesus’ point is simple. Unless he dies, his ministry will not bear much fruit. Those who sanctify God’s name might also be required to die with him, but his Father will honor them. NOTE: You can sign up for research updates (if you don’t get them already) on any page of this site or invite your friends to do so by typing into the box their email address (http://JewishStudies.eteacherbiblical.com) “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name.” The words of Jesus speak deeply of his full humanity. It is not natural for a human being to want to suffer and die. Jesus, understanding the core of his mission, is willing to do so. Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that stood there and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” 30 Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not mine. The connection between God’s voice and thunder is important here. We read in Ex.19:16-19: “16 On the morning of the third day there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud on the mountain and a very loud trumpet blast, so that all the people in the camp trembled. 17 Then Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet God, and they took their stand at the foot of the mountain. 18 Now Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke because the Lord had descended on it in fire. The smoke of it went up like the smoke of a kiln, and the whole mountain trembled greatly. 19 And as the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him in thunder.” The voice of God in speaking of the glorification of Jesus is, therefore, set in the same glorious context. 31 Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. As I discussed in the previous section, while it is traditional to assume that the ruler of this world is Satan, the enemy of God’s purposes on this earth, it is also possible (though this is only a possibility) that a particular evil leader of the hoi Ioudaioi in fact was in view instead. The Qumran community speaks of a wicked priest as a towering evil figure in the Qumranic imagination. While one cannot simply draw quick conclusions, we are justified however in entertaining the possibility of such a figure. It is noteworthy that every known case of persecution against Jesus and the Jerusalem believers in Jesus, especially their leaders, “was taken when the reigning high priest was one of those who belonged to the powerful Sadducean family of Annas.” Caiaphas, Annas’ son-in-law condemned both Jesus and Stephen. James the Son of Zebedee was executed and Peter was arrested by Agrippa I; while Matthias, son of Annas, was probably a priest. In Acts 12:3 we are told that the king was motivated to gain the favor with “the Jews,” that is to “placate the high priest Mathias and his family” since some time before Agrippa had humiliated Annas’ family by deposing Theophilus, brother of Mathias. Another son of Annas, Ananus II, put James to death taking advantage of being Roman Emperor’s before the appointment of the next leader of the Empire. The above shows that we are justified to speak of a case of family vendetta against “the followers of a man whose movement Caiphas (as a member of Annas priestly family) had expected to but failed to stamp out”.[1] 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die. It was clear to Jesus that he would be crucified and would be lifted up on the Roman cross for criminals. When this dying/sowing of the seed happens, it would produce much fruit and all men (in this nearer sense, Israel, though certainly not only) would be drawn to him. [1] See Bauckham, R. 2007. James and the Jerusalem Community. In Jewish Believers in Jesus: The Early Centuries. Edited by O. Skarsaune and R. Hvalvik. Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, 75. www.eteacherbiblical.com . Used by permission.

There’s enough circulating in the media today to discourage Christians about the future of marriage and family. In a recent Atlantic article, “All the Single Ladies,” Kate Bolick suggests we stop thinking of “traditional marriage” as society’s highest ideal. Divorce is no longer the “new” normal, it’s just normal. In the 1980s and 90s, the term “turn-key kids” was meant to represent a sad reality for children. Now the term has been largely retired because of its regularity. These cultural developments have led evangelicals to become more family-centered, both for our own sake and also for the sake of our neighbors. Promise Keepers encouraged men to love their wives. John Piper and Wayne Grudem edited a scholarly and pastoral—in my opinion, definitive—book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, arguing for a complementarian understanding of the home and local church. The name Focus on the Family speaks for itself. But with every response, there’s always the danger of over-correction. It’s not that I think some evangelicals have become too conservative or too traditional. I worry that they’ve simply adopted traditional cultural and societal norms, instead of biblical norms. Zechariah and Mary The two birth announcements in the Gospel of Luke to Zechariah and Mary reveal how a society’s “traditional” family values may not line up with God’s. Zechariah, the priest married to a barren woman, and Mary both heard miraculous announcements about impending childbirth. Yet while Zechariah responded with skepticism and doubt, Mary responded with faith and wonder. So why would Zechariah, a priest, doubt an angel of the Lord? He knew the story of Abraham and Sarah, so the idea of an older, barren woman giving birth wouldn’t be ridiculous to him. But consider Zechariah and Elizabeth’s situation. Some of you may know the pain of not being able to have children. It’s the feeling of 10, 20, even 30 years deeply desiring children with hopes unfulfilled. Zechariah and Elizabeth also suffered shame. Luke 1:24-25 reveals Elizabeth’s heart. She said, “Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.” By reproach she meant the shame that comes from known barrenness. Maybe some of you have experienced this reproach from more conservative societies, where family is held in such a high regard. If you’re nearing your 40s with no children and maybe not even married, you start to receive questions like, “When are you going to get yourself a husband?” “When are we going to start seeing some little ones around here?” You hear the whispers. Every baby shower brings guilt and shame. Zechariah and Elizabeth also dealt with questions about whether they did something wrong to deserve barrenness. Was there some hidden sin? Worse, Zechariah was a religious leader, a priest! Can you imagine how this public shame undermined his position, his authority? So for Zechariah, pain and sorrow turned to shame and disgrace. He held on tightly to the cultural idol of family. This idol filled his heart so that there was no room for the truth of God’s promise, even if he heard it from an angel. The good news of a coming son did not inspire joy but unbelief. It’s too late. We’re too old. Two Common Errors Reading about Zechariah and Elizabeth while studying our own age, we discern two errors common to societies when it comes to family. First, a society can value personal independence and autonomy to such a degree that family and children become burdens. What God has provided for our joy and human flourishing, we regard as a killjoy, draining personal resources that we’d rather use to advance our own dreams, ambitions, and plans. But there’s another wrong view. A society can make the family the most important thing. It can become an idol, something that fundamentally defines us. We regard anyone who never marries or cannot have children as somehow subhuman. They must have done something wrong to upset God. By contrast, the Bible actually teaches a radically subversive message about the family. God, we often discover, is the cause of barrenness in women. Stories of family dynamics rarely flatter. You’ll never find a Leave it to Beaver household in the Bible. Rather, we see constant distress, rivalry, and jealousy. Usually this dynamic doesn’t result from undervaluing children. No, we see it when children become the most important thing! Not only that, Jesus also has some deeply alarming things to say about the family, sounding almost cold and uncaring—see Mark 3:31-35 and Luke 14:26. And finally, it’s difficult to make family the most central thing for Christians when the two most prominent figures in the New Testament, Jesus and the apostle Paul, were both single. Actually, Christianity made singleness a legitimate way of life for the first time in any culture or religion. Christ and the Church Before you thumb your noses at traditional values on marriage and family, remember this: When God wanted to paint a picture of his great love for he church and cost of his death, he cited marriage between a husband and wife. God in Jesus Christ is the faithful and sacrificial husband for his bride, the church. In fact, the Bible often describes our spiritual union with one another and God using the language of family. Through the cross of Jesus Christ, we see that God is no distant judge, but a Father; Jesus is not only a friend of sinners, but our brother; we share not only a common belief system, but we also live in community as brothers and sisters. While the family cannot be so important that it invades the space in our heart that only God should occupy, we see that even from Creation, God designed marriage and family to result in a maturing society. Zechariah, however, warns us not to make family the ultimate thing. He turned it into a false god, leaving no room for the truth of the real God. Not so with Mary! She responded with wonder and faith, saying, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). She, too, had dreams and hopes for family. She was even betrothed. You don’t think she daydreamed of what her family might be like? We know from John 8 that Mary’s pregnancy out of wedlock was public knowledge. Many believed that Jesus was born from “sexual immorality.” So Mary endured the whispers, stares, and brooked smiles. A virgin birth was hardly family-centered in that traditional society. Might we have whispered and wondered about her, too? Christians should have strong convictions about marriage and family. But their convictions should come from the Bible, not simply the norms of traditional societies. John Starke is an editor for The Gospel Coalition and lead pastor of All Souls Church in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. You can follow him on Twitter.

Then, they said to the king, “Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, Your Majesty, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day.” When the king heard this, he was greatly distressed; he was determined to rescue Daniel and made every effort until sundown to save him. Then, the men went as a group to King Darius and said to him, “Remember, Your Majesty, that according to the law of the Medes and Persians, no decree or edict that the king issues can be changed.” So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions’ den. The king said to Daniel, “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!” (Daniel 6:13-16 NIV) The story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den (Daniel 6:13-16) has been a long-standing favored story that not only intrigues the minds of children, but adults as well. The story is set in the Middle East, about 600 – 650 BC, at a time when the Babylonians had conquered Israel, taking into captivity many of Israel’s promising young men, among them was a man named, Daniel. Ironically, when king Darius decreed that Daniel must be thrown into the lion’s den, Daniel was not young, but a man about 80 years old. Through the many years of captivity, Daniel had developed a reputation for being a very hard worker and extremely honest; as well as being devout and obedient to his God, Yahweh Jehovah, the God of Israel. Daniel had managed to rise up in this pagan kingdom to achieve the position of administrator among the political ranks; and thereby, he had made many government officials angry with him and in their jealousy, they set out to find a way to remove him from his office of prominent authority. The decree was that if anyone were caught praying to another god, or man, besides the king, during a specific thirty-day period, that person would be thrown into the lion’s den. Needless to say, a very dangerous place for any human being and obviously pending a “not so good out come”! Yet, Daniel was persistent and continued with his faithfulness to his God, the God of Israel. Knowing how much King Darius loved and favored Daniel, the wicked government officials believed they would be able to force the king in keeping his own decree against Daniel, so they brought Daniel before the king and declared the wrong deed, which Daniel was guilty of committing. Even though King Darius wanted to rescue Daniel, and try as he did, still, at sundown, the king was compelled to keep his decree; and Daniel was ordered into the lion’s den to face sure and certain death. As the story goes, King Darius just knew that Daniel would not survive the lion’s den and the king struggled to eat or sleep. However, the next morning, the king was delighted to learn that Daniel was still alive and asked Daniel if his God and protected him? Daniel answered, My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king.” (Daniel 6:22 NIV) As the scripture states about this story, King Darius was overjoyed to learn that Daniel has survived the lion’s den, because he had trusted his god (Daniel 6:23 NIV) and as a result, King Darius ordered the jealous officials, who had brought their allegations against Daniel, arrested and along with their wives and children, they were ordered to be thrown into the lion’s den. Next, King Darius issued another decree ordering that all the people would fear and pay reverence to Daniel’s God, the God of Israel. Daniel continued a prosperous life under King Darius and his successor, King Cyrus, the Persian. What is interesting to note about King Darius (558 – 485 BC) is that even though he found favor with Daniel and admired his good deeds, Daniel’s diligent work habits and his honesty, plus his loyalty and faithfulness to God, King Darius was recognized as a great king and empire builder, for making laws, and achieving many good deeds such as completing a canal from the Nile River to the Red Sea, irrigation projects, and a coinage system, but also, he was known for being a king, who could very violent against his enemies. This world is not an easy world in which to live and it is filled with many people, who love others and in their loyalty to them, they will do many good things for them. Yet, there are those, who are not loving and kind, who will become jealous of those, who strive to do good, to be loving, and kind; and they will set out to compete with them, try to get them in trouble, even lie against them, and sometimes, they will try to hurt that good person in some way. Children are not in this world very long before they discover how bad and dangerous this world can, just like adults have to contend with this world. This is why the story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den is so appealing to everyone, especially children, and even adults at any age. Daniel was completely aware of his situation and knew full-well that he could have died that night in the lion’s den, but Daniel believed his God, and trusted him at all times for all circumstances; and even though he might die, still, he was willing to trust God. Daniel believed that God knew him, that he would keep his word to watch over him and protect him, and that God knew where Daniel was at all times and God was fully aware of what Daniel was doing and what was about to happen to him. Daniel knew that his obedience to God would be honored even when he obeyed the king, who loved Daniel, but whose law could also make sure that Daniel would be killed. God honored Daniel’s obedience first to him, then to the king. God made sure that Daniel lived. The king admired Daniel’s loyalty and faithfulness to God so much that he made a new decree that Daniel’s God would be honored and revered. Life can be fun, filled with many happy events and it can be peaceful many times, but also, it is filled with challenges that cause people to struggle; and there are many sad times that people experience in life. Quite often, it is easy to feel that one is experiencing or enduring their own personal “lion’s den” and it will never end. Children have life situations and circumstances that cause them to feel that way, too. The key is to learn not to focus on one’s own situation and how it is, or could become, but to focus on God, just like Daniel did, and be willing to believe God is all-powerful, he knows every situation that everyone endures, and he knows exactly where everyone is and what is happening to them at all times. Be willing to place complete faith in God and trust God will be there, that he honors faithfulness and he will rescue those, who obey and trust him. “Your effectiveness and personal victory in Christ are linked to the time you spend with the Lord in prayer.” Dr. Charles Stanley, Suggested References: Fairchild, Mary. “Obedience to God: What Does the Bible Say About Obedience?” Stories of Calvary. Christianity.com (2005-2014). 01/17/2014. Gill, N. S. “King Darius the Great” Ancient Classical History.com (2014) 01/27/2014. Hopler, Whitney. “Bible Angels: An Angel Rescues Daniel From a Den of Lions” Christianity.com (2005-2014) 01/27/2014. Stanley, Ph.D. Charles. “The Battle Of Prayer” Atlanta, Georgia: In Touch Ministries, October, 2013. 01/27/2014. Zavada, Jack. “Bible Story Summary: God Protected and Delivered Daniel from the Den of Lions.” Christianity.com (2005-2014) 01/27/2014.

There’s always that one kid. The kid who won’t stay in his seat at the restaurant. The girl who has to have the last word. And the boy who’s always screaming in the Target. That’s a powerful child at work. And maybe he’s yours. These powerful children are master manipulators and expert attention-getters! They love to be in control of the household power source—you. So how can you tell if you’ve got a powerful master-manipulator on your hands? Here’s just a few ways you can spot the powerful child in your family. Every family’s got one and sometimes it’s not who you think. 1. Does your child love to battle with you? Is your kid stubborn beyond reason? Do they fight you at every turn? With powerful stubborn manipulators, every comment can turn into an argument. These kids have a need to be right! 2. Is he or she overly sensitive? Does your family feel like they have to walk on eggshells around that one son or daughter? We can often find ourselves sticking up for these children, saying “Oh, Fletcher is just so sensitive!” Don’t be fooled. These kids are workin’ ya! 3. Does it seem as if your child has developed a frightening new personality? Was your child once an easy-going cooperative kid who you were proud to call your own? But now that she’s hit puberty, has she developed a personality close to that of a werewolf? These moody curveball kids can really throw you for a loop! 4. Do you feel like you’re always asking questions but never getting answers? Powerful children aren’t always the loud obnoxious kid in the Target. Children can manipulate through silence too, and we can be suckers for the shy kid. We’ll ask him question after question, but he’ll only respond with a shrug or an “I dunno know.” Next Steps? Check your reaction! Chances are, if you have a powerful child, you’re having a powerful reaction. Your heart may pound, your stomach churn, and maybe you can picture more arguments than not with that child. Or perhaps you’ve gone out of your way to placate her. Powerful manipulators come in a variety of packages. And they can leave us pulling our hair out at night! But having a powerful child isn’t all bad. It simply means that the power needs to be redirected, and you (yes, you!), dear parent, can be a circuit breaker on that power. All behavior is learned, and your child is looking to you to set the example. Don’t teach your powerful child to walk all over you with permissive parenting, and don’t fight power with power. It takes two to do battle, so disengage! So next time Johnny says, “Hey, let me borrow the car so I can drive to the football game,” after he’s mouthed-off to you all night, don’t play the typical permissive or authoritarian parent. Don’t let him off the hook with a simple, “Well, alright. But don’t stay out too late!” And don’t give him the “Are you kidding me?! You’re not going anywhere for a month with a tone like that!” Be authoritative. Stay calm. Control your power surges. Instead, calmly say something like, “Maybe I would consider letting you borrow the car, but I don’t like the way you’ve treated me tonight.” This puts the ball back in Johnny’s court and it’s up to him to decide whether he’ll abide by the rules. He may whine and complain at first, but he’ll come around if he wants those keys! Parenting is never easy, but it is simple. Stay consistent, stay calm, and redirect those power surges! Your powerful child can become a powerful force for good. For more information on redirecting your powerful child, check out my new book Parenting Your Powerful Child. If you’ve got a powerful kid, it’s a book you can’t afford to miss! Re-printed from www.birthorderguy.com. Used by permission.