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- Encourage Your Husband: 30 Days and 30 Ways
I’d like to encourage you to keep track of what God does in your marriage over this next month. I hope you’ll take time to share what God does in your home as you bless and encourage your spouse. Day One: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12 To refresh your memory . . . here’s the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge: for the next 30 days: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for “choosing you” above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner. One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget-a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!” Day Two: ” . . . through love serve one another.” Gal. 5:13b How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you’re off to a good start. (If you blew it, don’t give up start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them. Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn’t think it’s part of a “Honey Do” list! Maybe your husband’s not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength. Day Three: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19 Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it’s difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn’t had role models in these areas. If he’s not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it’s hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don’t insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can’t expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart. Day Four: ” . . . let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . . ” Eph. 4:28 We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world. Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you “dump” on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others. If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc. Day Five: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29 Another way to describe the positive side of this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” is by using the word “edify,” which means, “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him – in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have. Day Six: “. . . whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31b Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Is your husband the “creative” type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special “knack” he has? Affirm him for his handiwork – a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn’t measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his “creative side,” understand that men’s creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day . . . Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening. Day Seven: “Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! . . . for riches certainly make themselves wings . . .” Prov. 23:4-5 “That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries.” Proverbs 8:21 Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, “Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?” Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead. Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters. If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he’s open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him. Day Eight: How are you doing with the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the challenge: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “. . . but who can find a faithful man?” Prov. 20:6b Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband’s faithfulness—how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has “stick-to-it-iveness” in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may “. . . be won by the conduct of their wives” [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.) Day Nine: We are often so busy speaking that we don’t take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment – negative or positive—that we don’t really “hear” our husband’s heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more! As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord’s admonition today: “Be swift to hear.” If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him. One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it’s an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn’t know, then tell him, “Wow, I didn’t know that!” Day Ten: We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we’re not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, “How can I admire him?” Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him! Day Eleven: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Eph. 5:22 Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission. Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together. If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . .”as to the Lord.” Day Twelve: “With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.” Eph. 4:2 Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart? Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it’s simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others. How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing. Day Thirteen: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” Song of Solomon 7:10 The sexual relationship. It’s one of those elements—along with money and children—that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a “good lover”? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage. In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you. Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways. Day Fourteen: “The righteous man walks in his integrity . . .” Prov. 20:7a Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It’s so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture. Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband’s honesty and integrity with others. Day Fifteen: “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . .” 2 Pet. 3:18a Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband’s faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember—your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth. Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future. Day Sixteen: “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18 God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly. Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being “one flesh” with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you. If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him—smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant “grunt!”—and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him . . . and listen when he does speak. Day Seventeen: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Prov. 9:10 Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband. Is your husband a “wise man?” Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If you are not sure about your husband’s vision for your home, ask him, “Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?” and “How can I help you accomplish that?” If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one. If your husband is not walking with God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord – you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum! Day Eighteen: “You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy . . . Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!” Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b “A merry heart does good like medicine . . .” Prov. 17:22a It’s hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a “little boy” that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times. If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax. Day Nineteen: Read this description of a wife’s description of her beloved—Song of Solomon 5:10-16 Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies. Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world – a loving God designed them all, and they are all “beautiful” in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness. As you look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?) Day Twenty: “And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Eph. 4:32 It’s time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God’s grace and in His power —you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you. Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense? Day Twenty-one: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matt. 6:33 If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world. If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity . . . the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things. Day Twenty-two: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: “If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I’ve said about him, what would they think of my husband?” Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others . . . or do you complain and criticize? Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never “rejoice in iniquity” (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband’s faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area—be wary of sharing barbed “prayer requests.” Remember, “Love will cover a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8b). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a “good word” for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him—and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down. Don’t forget: you are always criticizing—or encouraging—before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace. Day Twenty-three: “Let your speech always be with grace . . .” Col. 4:6a You’re moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you’ve committed: You can’t say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband! “In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works . . .” Titus 2:7a Does the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him. Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed – but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized. Whatever the need, you can be your husband’s cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up. Day Twenty-four: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4 Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband’s leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up. Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills. If you don’t have children—is your husband positive and encouraging around other people’s children? Let him know that you have noticed. If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent—while still maintaining his authority in the home. Day Twenty-five: “. . . seek peace, and pursue it.” Ps. 34:14b “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Is. 26:3 Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today. Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence? Does he bring music, entertainment, books or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices. If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible. Day Twenty-six: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Luke 2:52 If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life . . . and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life. The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband. As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home. Jesus led a balanced life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance. If your husband is out of balance—focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others—consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind? Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example! Day Twenty-seven: “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” Ps. 31:24 You have almost completed the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge.” Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of encouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared. There are lots of “tough guys” in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy? Psalm 27:14says this kind of courage comes from “waiting” on the Lord for His strength. If your budget allows, “award” your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband’s courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home. Day Twenty-eight: “The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.” Prov. 15:33 Sometimes, when we just “know” we are right and our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. As part of your Encouragement Challenge today, pray that you will respond to the Lord in faith and humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely and well, and leave the results to God. The humility that comes from a right relationship with God—the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God and be taught from His Word—is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father’s will (John 6:38; Matt. 26:39). Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from and submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship. Day Twenty-nine: “A prudent man foresees evil, and hides himself; the simple pass on, and are punished.” Prov. 27:12 As you near the end of your Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband’s responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize and avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, and the urge to lie and cheat? This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar’s wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first and foremost, sins against God (Gen. 39:9). Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today-and express your gratitude. Day Thirty: “. . . This is my beloved, and this is my friend . . .” Song of Solomon 5:16b Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so “used” to him that you don’t appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he “just knows”? Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don’t step on each other’s hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge,” celebrate your friendship with your husband. Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him. Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, and read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, and if he is willing, thank God for your love and friendship, asking for His blessing on your home. Encouragement, as you have seen these past 30 days, is a synonym for love in action. How has this challenge changed your heart and life, dear friend? Did God encourage you as you planned ways to encourage your husband? Were there difficult days where you simply needed to trust that God was working? Days when it was hard to leave the results to God? Remember that God is faithful, and He will bless you for your willingness to obey Him. His ways are not our ways, and perhaps He will honor you in ways you do not expect, but one thing is sure—you will never be the same because of your commitment to be more like Christ! What kinds of victories have you experienced in your home since you started the “30-Day Encouragement Challenge”? Would you take a moment to share these victories with us? © Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com. Info@ReviveOurHearts.com.
- How We Fight for a Godly Nation!
Scripture says that the Lord left nations in the promised land “to test Israel by them (that is, all who had not experienced any of the wars of Canaan); only in order that the generations of the sons of Israel might be taught war” (Judg. 3:1-2). To complete our spiritual maturity, the Lord must “test” us with enemies; like Israel, we must be “taught war.” I realize that most of us prefer peace. Yes, as much as it depends on us, we should live at peace with all men (Rom. 12:18). Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but we are in a worldwide conflict with principalities and powers (see Eph. 6:12). You see, there is a “time for war” (Eccl. 3:8). As Christians, we must accept and adjust to this truth. To stand victorious, we need to expand our understanding of who Jesus Christ is. The Bible says Christ “will go forth like a warrior, He will arouse His zeal like a man of war. He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry. He will prevail against His enemies” (Isa. 42:13). Even the rapture must be understood in military terms: “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first” (1 Thess. 4:16). The imagery of the Lord’s coming is explosive: He comes with a “shout” (or “cry of command,” a “war cry”). He’s followed by the stunning “voice of the “archangel,” then a blast of the “trumpet of God,” so loud, so undeniable that the powers of the heavens are confronted and collapse! Finally, the very “dead in Christ” begin to rise! The whole operation is fiercely militant in nature. One may argue, yes the Lord is coming to war, but His first goal is to rescue us. Well, I am certainly not against being rescued, having been rescued many times by the Lord! But the picture of the church is also one of militancy. Remember, Jesus said, “I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it” (Matt. 16:18). Consider again the imagery: it is the church that is advancing against the gates of hell, and it is hell that is not prevailing! The Need for War Truly, I am for peace, but I recognize that I cannot have peace unless I am first trained for war. It is my training for war that secures my ability to have peace. Indeed, it was during the times of warfare – of struggle and battle – when I have grown the most in courage, in faith, in sacrifice, and in love. The battle stretched me beyond the boundaries of my spirituality. Yes, when I was fighting for my family, church or community, it was the fight itself that defined and established my spiritual growth. Indeed, as I have grown older, I have come to understand that every generation is ordained to confront and defeat the enemies of its era. In the last hundred years, men and women fought in WWI; then came the Great Depression, and poverty and fear were conquered. WWII began, and again a generation rose and saved the world from unspeakable tyranny. Next, America rose to stand against the spread of godless Soviet communism. You see, every generation, at some point, will face a war that must be won. In that fight we learn lessons of courage. Do we see this generational warfare? Thus, we cannot interpret the fallen conditions of our world and assume the end of the world is upon us. No! What we are seeing in our world is the battleground of our war against the godless enemies of our times. Remember, I believe in the rapture; I also believe we are in the season of the end. But I cannot excuse myself from facing the giants of today’s wars. As our forefathers had to succeed on the battlefield against great and highly trained enemies, so we too must overcome the radical agenda of those who seek to mainstream perversion into our society. Some of us have fought in physical wars-and we must pray righteous conclusions for these wars as well. Others are fighting to see our nation returned to Christ. I know some are weary, yet it is time that we too “might be taught war.” Regardless of the battle before us, no matter how dark the spiritual atmosphere becomes, we must fight for the purposes of God in the earth. We cannot relax our intercession nor surrender our vision for our nation’s future. We have not entered the day of irreversible darkness. You are no doubt familiar with the Lord of the Rings trilogy written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien, an Englishman, denied that his work mirrored the realities of World War II. Yet much of his manuscript was written during the height of that great conflict, when entire kingdoms were at war. He was clearly influenced by his time. His book is a metaphor for all times and conflicts, especially highlighting the role of common men to attain uncommon levels of valor and victory against forces of evil. In a scene from the third Lord of the Rings movies, The Return of the King , King Aragorn seeks to inspire his outnumbered men to fight in spite of what seems like sure defeat: Hell’s swarming legions have amassed before them and the courage of Aragorn’s fighters is weakening. Riding along the front lines of his gathered, but lowly army, he shouts: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. . . . This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of the West! Let us also put aside our fears and especially the burden of a passive, prayerless existence. Let us take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And let us fight for all we hold dear in our times and culture. Yes, a day may come when the world will fully succumb, for a sprinkling of years, to the forces of evil. But it is not this day. This day we fight!
- What Every Christian Should Know about Israel
You will be astonished at this information. Christians should not be ignorant of God’s plans for His chosen people in His Word. Jews are, biblically speaking, the “chosen people of God” and dearly loved by Him. Another reason for Christians to support the nation of Israel is because of the Abrahamic Covenant. We read of God’s promise in Genesis 12:2-3, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (see also Genesis 27:29; Numbers 24:9). Here are a few extraordinary facts about Israel: Geography: · Israel is only 1/6 of 1% of the landmass of the Middle East. · Israel is roughly half the size of Lake Michigan. · The Sea of Galilee , at 695 ft. below sea level, is the lowest freshwater lake in the world. · The Dead Sea is the lowest surface point on earth, at about 1,373 feet below sea level. · Israel is the only nation in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees. · Jericho is the oldest continuously inhabited town in the world. · The Mount of Olives in Jerusalem is the oldest, continually used cemetery in the world. Demographics: · Israel ‘s population is half the size of Metro New York City. · Israel has only 2% of the population of the Middle East. · Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees per capita in the world. · Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of scientists and technicians per capita in the world – by a large margin. · Israel has the highest number of engineers per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of PhD’s per capita in the world. · Israel has the highest number of physicians per capita in the world. · Israel has the largest percentage of its workforce employed in technical professions in the world. · Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation in the world, per capita. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where the Christian population has grown over the last 50 years. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Christians, Muslims and Jews are all free to vote. · Israel is the only country in the Middle East where women enjoy full political rights. Economics: · Israel has the largest number of startup companies per capita in the world. · Israel is the world’s largest wholesale diamond center, finally surpassing Antwerp in the 1970’s. · Most of the cut & polished diamonds in the world come from Israel. · Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies outside of the US and Canada. · Israel was the first country to have a free trade agreement with the United States. · Apart from the Silicon Valley, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world. · The cell phone was developed in Israel at Motorola’s largest development center. · The Voice Mail technology was developed in Israel. · In the early 80’s, IBM chose an Israeli-designed computer chip as the brains for its first personal computers. · The first anti-virus software for computers was developed in Israel in 1979. · Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed in Israel by Microsoft. · Both the Pentium-4 and Centrino processors were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel . · The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel. · Israel has the highest number of home computers per capita in the world. · The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ was developed in 1996 by 4 young Israelis. · Israel was the first Middle Eastern country to launch a satellite, the Ofek 1, on September 19, 1988. Culture: · Hebrew is the only case of a dead national language being revived in all of world history. · Hebrew had not been spoken as a native tongue by anyone for centuries. · Today it is the native tongue of millions of people. · Israel has more museums per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel has more orchestras per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · Israel publishes more books translated from other languages than any other nation in the world. · Israel reads more books per capita than any other nation in the world. · The most independent and free Arabic press in the Middle East is in Israel Military/Security: · Israel has the largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the US . · Israel has the world’s most impenetrable airline security. · Israel spends more money per capita on its own protection than any country in the world. Other: · Israel’s dairy cows are the most productive dairy cows in the world. · They average 25,432 pounds of milk per cow per year, compared to just 18,747 pounds from American cows; 17,085 from Canadian cows; 13,778 from European Union cows; 10,207 from Australian cows; and 6,600 from Chinese cows. · Israel has more in-vitro fertilization per capita than anywhere in the world, and it’s free. · Israelis, per capita, are the world’s biggest consumers of fruits and vegetables. · Of the 175 UN Security Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against Israel . · Of the 690 UN General Assembly resolutions voted on after 1990, 429 were directed against Israel. So what must we do to support God’s people, even today? Listen to the words of the psalmist: Psalms 122:6 “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, they shall prosper that love you.” Jewish Federation of the North Shore 39 Norman Street, Suite 302 Salem, MA 01970 978-224-4900 info@jfns.org
- Titus: How to Live in a Secular Culture
How should Christians relate to a secular society that does not know Jesus? Paul’s letter to Titus sheds light on this scenario, showing us how God’s grace should motivate Christians to be good citizens and neighbors. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. Titus 3:1–8 Christians are a minority in our secular culture, which largely doesn’t honor Jesus. That’s not going to change, but there’s an ongoing debate among Christians about how we approach a secular culture that doesn’t agree with us about Jesus. As we think about our relationship with our society, it’s important to remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. It’s with this grace in mind that Paul teaches us, through his letter to Titus, how we should respond to a secular society. Grace results in good citizens The first way Christians should engage a secular culture is the same way we always have. We’re to be good citizens, obey the law, submit to authority, and not cause rebellion, strife, or insurrection. We are to be obedient to the law except for when it would require us to disobey Jesus. Christians need to live under the law of the land—it’s one of the ways we manifest our faith in meekness through Jesus Christ. Remember we too were once far from God, but he saved us through his grace. Grace results in good works Christians should care about the people living around us in our city, and we should be active in working toward the common good. We have a responsibility according to this text that goes beyond the walls of the church. Yes, our priority should be the people in the church, but we are also responsible for the well-being of our neighbors and our city. Grace results in good words Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them. This is one of the ways we reflect the goodness of God. It’s not that we don’t call out false doctrine, but we do it in a respectful and loving way. Christians should care about the people living around us in our city. We have more opportunity than anyone in the history of the world to use our words negatively on the Internet. Words are critically important. When Jesus’ disciples were criticized for not ceremonially washing their hands, Jesus emphasized that it’s not what goes into our mouth that makes us unclean—it’s what comes out of our heart. If the gospel, through the power of the Holy Spirit, washes us from sin and gives us a new identity, then good words can flow out of a good heart. Grace results in good manners Christians should be courteous to all people. Good manners are very important, because the basic posture of a Christian is that we see others as more important than us. That means we treat them with respect, dignity, and honor. Christians shouldn’t speak evil of anyone. We may disagree with someone, but we can still respect them.
- Spiritual Darkness
John’s Gospel begins, just like the book of Genesis, with: in the beginning. In Genesis, God speaks, and darkness is divided from the light (Gen. 1:4). Darkness and light have never successfully cohabitated. So it is no surprise that John noted in his Gospel that . . . the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend (or, overcome) it (John 1:5). There has been a battle between light and darkness since time began. The battle only grew more fierce when Jesus, the Light, walked upon the earth. The darkness hated Jesus. It inspired religious leaders to oppose him. It blinded people to His message. And, it ultimately led His own friends to deny and betray Him. Darkness launched every missile in its devilish arsenal to overcome the Light. Yet the Light continues to shine brightly. It probably did not dawn on anyone sitting on the lawn the day Jesus delivered his epic Sermon on the Mount, that they had just been deployed into a cataclysmic battle. Jesus had simply said, “You are the light of the world . . .” (Matt. 5:14). At the time, that statement might have sounded encouraging, even heartwarming. But it was a battle cry. Jesus knew full well what it was like to be light. He was under no delusions that darkness would welcome Him or forge a truce. It would be a fight to the end. Either the Light would prevail, or the darkness would. There was no room, or interest, in compromise. It was a battle to the death. And whether the disciples were ready or not, they were entering a war zone. It should not surprise Christians today when they are attacked, criticized, mocked, or lampooned by the media. It should be just the opposite. It ought to baffle us when we are not in the midst of an evil cannonade. Yet American Christians are continually expressing dismay when the world around them does not affirm or embrace them. Too many Christians have been allowed to enter the Church without being informed that they are entering a spiritual battlefield. Jesus told His disciples: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you . . . (John 15:20). I recently was in Nigeria. It currently has the sad distinction of having more Christian martyrs than any other country in the world. The Islamic terrorist group, Boko Haram, is determined to drive every Christian out of northern Nigeria and to create a strict, Muslim state. To that end, they have murdered hundreds of Christians. In January 2014, they murdered Christians on every Sunday in the month. In February, they killed hundreds of innocent people, including over forty children at a boarding school. These people, in the name of their religion, butchered children and defenseless villagers. Not surprisingly, northern Nigeria is the most backward, impoverished, and uneducated region of the country. The darkness is striving to keep people in bondage. I must confess to you that I have had a heavy heart for the dear Christians in Nigeria who are suffering from such vicious brutality. There the battle between light and darkness is evident for everyone to see. We in the West certainly owe it to our Christian brothers and sisters to be praying for them as each week, they endanger their lives by attending church. But we in America ought not to assume that we are safe from war. We may not have hooded thugs barging into our church auditoriums firing machine guns, but the combatants are just as earnest. The media today is bombarding society with its ungodly messages. The politically correct police will use lies, slander, and bullying to ensure that their version of truth is loudly heralded, why opponents are smeared as bigoted, racist, and ignorant. Christian values are publicly mocked. Christ’s holy name is brazenly blasphemed. Pressures to conform to the standards of darkness are as relentless as they are intense. I talked with a newlywed recently. He told me he was concerned about how he would raise his children in a world that is so opposed to Christian values and truth. I wasn’t sure how to answer him. It will be difficult. The darkness has made numerous inroads into society. It has built strongholds in many churches and denominations. It dominates much of the media. Darkness is as determined to snuff out the light today as it was in Jesus’ time. This is not an easy time to be a Christian. It is even harder to live like one. But this is the age God has placed us. Every “light” needs to be accounted for. Every light must shine brightly. This is no time to have a dim or hidden light. We need to shine more brightly than we ever have before. The darkness is coming for you. May you shine brightly. www.blackabyministries.org
- Twelve Reasons Why I'm a Christian
In 1927, the famed British philosopher Bertrand Russell wrote an essay entitled, “Why I Am Not a Christian.” Russell’s essay inspired the title of this post. By “Christian,” I mean someone who has trusted their life to Jesus Christ as Crucified Savior and Resurrected Lord and seeks to follow Him each day. (I’m keenly aware that the term “Christian” has been hijacked to mean different things, hence the need to define.) Three things to keep in mind about this list: 1) This isn’t a list of theological reasons (e.g., God chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world and the Holy Spirit revealed Christ to my heart). 2) This isn’t a list of why I am indebted to Jesus (He owns me; He bought me with His blood; He died for my sins, etc.) Instead, they are intellectual/emotional/experiential reasons why I trust in and follow Jesus. 3) This isn’t an exhaustive list (I can certainly list more reasons), and it doesn’t reflect any particular order or priority. At the end of the list, I have a question for readers who aren’t following Jesus at the present time. And I’m really looking forward to hearing what they have to say. Why I’m a Christian . . . 1. Because life makes no sense to me apart from Christ. Nor does it have any purpose. 2. Because I’ve tried to not believe in Jesus, and I find that I cannot. (Perhaps this is why the early Christians were called “believers.” We believe for reasons that we cannot naturally explain. We believe because we believe. I have certainly struggled with various doubts along the way and questioned why God does and doesn’t do certain things, but that’s a different issue.) 3. Because I’ve never seen the Gospel narratives refuted successfully. Every critique that’s sought to debunk them throughout the years has been discounted under careful scrutiny and scholarship. The Gospels have stood the test of time. 4. Because I’ve never seen the resurrection of Jesus refuted successfully. Upon careful study of all the historical data, it actually takes more faith to deny His resurrection than to believe it occurred. 5. Because it makes no sense to me that Jesus of Nazareth isn’t who He said He was – the Messiah, the Son of the living God. No human being has had nearly the kind of effect on world history as Jesus has (e.g., I’m writing this post in 2012 – what does “2012” mean?). No serious historian denies that Jesus of Nazareth existed (there is more historical attestation for His existence than there is to Julius Caesar and many other ancient figures). And C.S. Lewis’ trilemma – Jesus is either a lunatic, a liar, or lord – rings true for me. 6. Because I can’t help but see the biblical narrative of Creation, Fall, and Redemption echoed in every play, every work of art, every human story, every drama, every movie, and the news I read each day. The Christian story is deeply embedded in the soundtrack of human history and art. 7. Because every time I meet a true follower of Jesus for the first time, I feel like I’ve known him or her all my life. 8. Because Jesus is the most compelling, intriguing, awe-inspiring, and amazing person I know of who is worthy of the greatest admiration, obedience, love, and (uniquely) worship. To my mind, truth, justice, and beauty are all grounded in Him, and His story (as told in the Gospels) trumps every other story known to humanity. 9. Because I’ve never seen any religion or philosophy deliver people from a life of carnality and bondage to addictions. In my experience and observation at least, Jesus transforms people’s lives greater than anything else on the face of the earth. 10. Because I have a deep and unshakeable belief that the Lord Jesus Christ is with me and taking care of me . . . and has all of my life. I cannot imagine life without Christ. 11. Because there is no rational explanation for some of the prayers that I (and others I know) have seen answered “in Jesus’ name.” 12. Because I don’t weep easily, but I readily cry whenever I detect the fingerprints of my Lord or behold His handiwork. What are the reasons why you haven’t trusted your life to Jesus?
- How We Confront Self-Deception
Share 0 Satan tempts us to sin and stops us in our tracks by accusations, but his most insidious weapon is deception, because we don’t know when we are being deceived. Through deception, the father of lies has led the whole world astray (see Revelation 12:9). That is why truth sets us free and why the belt of truth is the first piece of our protective armor. Jesus prayed that we would be kept from the evil one by being sanctified in the truth of God’s Word (see John 17:15-17). James admonished us not to be deceived (see James 1:16). There are three primary avenues through which we can be deceived: (1) self-deception, (2) false prophets/teachers and (3) deceiving spirits. Scripture identifies at least eight ways that we can deceive ourselves. First, we can deceive ourselves if we listen to the word of God but don’t do it (see James 1:22-25). “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). We will be self-deceived if we think the Bible is just a textbook that provides us with knowledge. We will hardly be aware of how self-centered and self-righteous we are, but others will likely see the hypocrisy. When the Bible is a mirror it knocks us down a notch, picks us back up, and trains us in righteousness. Second, we can deceive ourselves if we say we have no sin (see 1 John1:8). Having sin and being sin are two different issues. We are not sinless saints; we are saints who sin. If we keep saying that we have done nothing wrong, we may start believing it. Third, we can deceive ourselves if we think we are something when we are not (see Romans 12:3; Galatians 6:3). We are children of God, by the grace of God, who are living our lives before God. Those who think they are special don’t know they really are! Fourth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are wise in this age (see 1 Corinthians 3:18-19). In professing ourselves to be wise we become fools (see Romans 1:22). “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). Wisdom is seeing life from God’s perspective, not ours. Someday we shall see fully, but right now we have one eye starting to slightly open. We don’t have a clue what is going right around us in the spiritual realm. Fifth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are religious but do not keep a tight rein on our tongue (see James 1:26). Spirit-filled Christians exhibit self-control and only use their words to build up others (see Ephesians 4:29-30). Those who can’t control their tongues are denying the anger within them. Sixth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we will not reap what we sow (see Galatians 6:7). Everything we think and do has consequences, and we will one day give an account for our words and our actions. Seventh, we can deceive ourselves when we think the unrighteous will inherit the kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We cannot defend a sinful lifestyle and claim to be Christians by calling sin something other than what it is. Eighth, we can deceive ourselves when we associate with bad company and think it will not corrupt us (see 1 Corinthians 15:33). Sin is contagious. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12, NASB). Dr. Neil www.discipleshipcounsel.com For Spanish see www.ficmm.org/blog
- Fear Types and Prayers to Overcome Them
Neil Anderson’s Freedom in Christ Ministry provides powerful, relevant resources for fighting spiritual battles. One of the chief battles every Christian faces is the struggle with fear. “Courage is not the absence of fear, but it is living by faith and doing what is right in the face of untruths. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Proverbs 1:7. Godly fear is the only fear that can overcome all other fears. Irrational fears compel us to live irresponsible lives or prevent us from doing that which is responsible and from being bold in sharing our faith. Lies must be identified, because every irrational fear is based on a falsehood. We must pray for God to reveal what lies beneath the surface of our worries, our controlling fears and pray for victory over them. Here is an example of a prayer that will dispel fear: “Dear God, I confess that I have allowed fear to control me and that lack of faith is sin. Thank You for Your forgiveness. I recognize that “…You have not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and discipline.” 1 Timothy 1:7. I renounce any spirit of fear operating in my life and ask You to reveal any and all controlling fears in my life and the lied behind them. I desire to live by faith in You and in the power of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Many fears can plague us, and the first step to freedom is to identify them. Here is a list that may assist you in discovering why you are afraid: fear of death, fear of never loving or being loved, fear of Satan, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of being victimized, fear of rejection or disapproval, fear of intimacy, divorce, or poverty. We can fear mental or physical illness, the death of a loved one or being a hopeless case. We may fear individuals. Many fear losing their salvation, not being loved by God or committing the unpardonable sin. As you analyze the sources of your fear, ask several questions. When did you first experience a fear and what events triggered it? What lies have you believed that are the basis for the fear? How has the fear kept you from living a responsible life or compromised your witness? Confess any active or passive way that you have allowed fear to control you. Work out a plan of responsible behavior, and determine in advance what your response will be to any fear object. Commit yourself to follow through with your plan. If you do the thing you fear the most, the death of fear is certain. Pray this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I renounce the fear of (name the fear and associated lies) because God has not given me a spirit of fear. I choose to live by faith in You, and I acknowledge You as the only legitimate fear object in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Dispelling fear is a prayer project. Wear your spiritual armor and ask for God’s discernment to fight your fears.” For additional help with fear, read Neal T. Anderson and Rich Miller, Freedom from Fear. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1999.
- Astounding Facts about the Brain God Made
There’s no end to what we can learn about the brain. Check out this now basic information: “The brain has the storage capacity of 6 million years of the Wall Street Journal” (Greg Iles, quoted in “A Better Brain at Any Age”). An online article gives similar information: “For comparison, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, 2.5 petabytes would be enough to hold three million hours of TV shows. You would have to leave the TV running continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage.” http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-memory-capacity A few other amazing facts about the amazing brain that God created: How much does the average brain weigh? 3 lbs. Most of the brain’s cells are formed before birth , but most of the connections among cells are made during infancy and early childhood. When does the brain reach full size? Age 6 …As a child grows, the number of cells remains stable, but the cells grow in size. The brain is made up of about 75% water. Your brain consists of about 100 billion neurons. There are from 1,000 to 10,000 synapses (gaps where neurotransmitters and electricity are exchange) for each neuron. At what age is the brain fully mature? Age 25 There are no pain receptors in the brain. There are 100,000 miles of blood vessels in the brain. About 70% of visits to the doctor for physical ailments are attributed to psychological factors. Every time you recall a memory or have a new thought, you are creating a new connection in your brain. The brain is always changing itself! Stronger, more intense emotional connections are linked to memories prompted by scent. It’s not true that humans only use 10% of their brains; each part of the brain has a purpose. When you sleep, you’re virtually paralyzed because your brain creates a hormone to prevent you from acting out your dreams. Sleep may be the best time for your brain to consolidate (file away) all your memories from the day. Lack of sleep may hurt your ability to create new memories. Memory is formed by associations , so if you want help remembering things, create associations for yourself. Our brain generates 20-25 watts of power continually and uses 20% of the body’s total energy.
- Spring Cleaning: Evaluate Your Life
Cleaning; it’s the upkeep side of life. It’s the irritating drudgery that’s always following us around with broom in hand. Cleaning is the voracious vacuum that’s never satisfied, the frantic feather duster that spews more dust than it captures, and the less than palatable reality that things don’t clean themselves. Cleaning is dirt management. The imagery is one of a collection of plastic buckets, dripping mops, obnoxiously scented cleaning supplies, deteriorating sponges of assorted colors, latex gloves and sweat. Who has time to clean? Much less, who wants to clean? The definition of cleaning in the Encarta Dictionary reads “the activity of making things clean, usually in a domestic or commercial environment.” It seems that even the definition of cleaning is redundant. Sadly, cleaning tends to carry a negative connotation to it. It’s just one of those things that we tend to grimace about when we’ve got to do it, or even think about doing it. It’s not on our top ten list of the most engaging things to do. There’s an old African Proverb that says, “When making a fire people like to join you, when cleaning the ashes you are often alone.” There are two sides to most of life; doing something and then cleaning up after we’ve done it. Most of us like the first part of that, but not the second because that involves cleaning. Cleaning seems oddly self-defeating as well. We clean things knowing full well that we’re going to have to clean again. It’s not like there’s anything of real permanence to what we’re doing. Cleaning is not an effort that we can complete and feel some sustaining pride in what we’ve done because what we’ve done we’re going to have to do all over again in just the same way we just did it. There is no conclusion to the process of cleaning. What’s frustrating is that you can’t eliminate dirt; you can only move it to someplace else. Therefore, we never come to a point where it’s done forever and ever. If you think about it further, cleaning as an action is not about obtaining something. It has nothing to do with the further acquisition of anything, nor does it have anything to do with the improvement or advancement of something. Cleaning adds nothing to our lives except cleanliness, and that’s only temporary anyway. In terms of resources or assets or improvements, it gains us none at all. Rather, cleaning is energy and time that we have to put into maintaining what we already have, which adds absolutely nothing to what we already have. Cleaning in and of itself is an acknowledgement that nothing’s permanent and that everything requires maintenance. The acquisition of something doesn’t insure the continuation of that thing. Cleaning clearly lets us know that. We can buy it, barter it, order it, build it, swap it, charge it, win it, and even steal it, but we’re going to have to clean it. Such is the dusty and dirty reality of life. Our Lives Too often our lives are all about the acquisition of things, but not much about the maintenance of them. In reference to ourselves personally, we have been bred with a fairly fierce mentality of acquisition, whether that’s the acquisition of education, licenses, certificates, knowledge, expertise, wisdom, maturity, social acumen, spiritual depth or whatever it might be. It might be about vigorously cultivating our gifts, talents, and natural abilities. Such goals are certainly healthy, admirable and of great value. But in the obtaining and cultivating, do we ever do any cleaning? Do we ever even come close to realizing that things just don’t perpetuate themselves? Does it dawn on us that if we don’t clean, what we’ve amassed can be diminished by the accumulation of filth? Rationalizing Not Cleaning An unknown author wrote, “Law of Window Cleaning: It’s on the other side.” We don’t do a whole lot of personal cleaning because we like to think “it’s on the other side.” We’re all about acquisition and growth, but not much about personal cleaning; about going through the various rooms, crawl spaces, nooks and crannies of our lives, getting on our knees and doing some serious spring cleaning regardless of what time of year it is. That’s not our focus because it’s not our preference. Cleaning is a distant sidebar to a much larger agenda. It’s really not all that imperative. Dust never killed anyone, and who knows, a little dirt might be good for the soul. A few cobwebs aren’t going to rot anything, and a handful of dust bunnies aren’t going to do anything either other than roll around a little. Besides, if there’s really all that much dirt, it’s “on the other side” anyway. So why clean? Seeing dirt “on the other side” is really more about preferring to ignore the dirt in our lives. Cleaning is about dirt. If it weren’t for dirt, we wouldn’t clean. Dirt is as much a reality of our lives as are the things that we amass. In our own lives we prefer to ignore the dirt. We ignore it because it demands that we do something about it. But more than that, we appear to ignore dirt because we want to believe that we’re above dirt. We want to believe that dirt doesn’t collect in our lives; that we’ve outgrown the whole dirt thing and that dirt is the stuff everyone else deals with. We’re clean. We’re good people. We aren’t prone to those kinds of mistakes. We’re ethical. We don’t have any dirt, and if we do it’s just a scant bit of it at best. When we make that assumption and live in that manner we set ourselves up to dramatically let ourselves down. Yet exactly what kind of dirt are we talking about? What are our cobwebs really? And those dust bunnies, what are they? Our Dirt We all have dirt, and probably lots of it. Some of our dirt is shameful and some of its outright embarrassing. Maybe some of our dirt is immoral, unethical and possibly illegal. Maybe our dirt is choice that we made to short-sheet an employer, short-circuit a relationship or short-change a friend. It’s possible that our dirt is a layered collection of lies, distortions and rationalizations that we rigorously fabricated in order to dump our dirt on someone else. Maybe our dirt has been carted along with us for years and years because we could never bring ourselves to deal with it. It’s possible that our dirt is a betrayal or an abandonment of someone or something. Maybe it’s a blatant rejection, or a wound that we intentionally inflicted. Or it might be that our dirt is brand-spanking new; therefore we’ve either rushed in our panic to hide it, or we have no idea what to do with it so we walk around in it. It might be that our dirt isn’t even something that we’ve done yet, but something that we plan to do. Maybe our dirt isn’t about an action at all. Maybe it’s about an attitude, about hating someone, or being jealous, or wishing ill for someone, or harboring a spirit of resentment. Maybe it’s our unwillingness to forgive, or let go, or let the past be the past. Our dirt can be a whole bunch of different things, but its dirt. Accountability – Saying “Yes, I Have Dirt” Who wants to admit that they’re dirty? More than that, who wants to admit how dirty their dirt really is? The hard truth is that some of our dirt is pathetic, putrid, rancid and raunchy. We’ve covered in some pretty reeking and outright foul stuff. Denying it doesn’t remove it, and in no way does denial sweeten it. Placing blame and rationalizing and justifying doesn’t change the reality of our dirt any more than cleaning with a dirty rag somehow makes us clean. As my father was fond of saying, “you can’t put perfume on a pig.” If we want to rid ourselves of dirt, we must admit to it . . . all of it. Honesty – A Necessity for a Complete Cleaning If we want a full cleaning, we can’t do that in isolation, although we’d like to. Cleaning is a corporate activity. If we want an iridescently deep cleaning we can only scrub out the deepest dirt with the scouring pad of a repentant attitude. That means we confess our dirt to those we harmed. We confess the wrongs, the behaviors, the choices, the attitudes, the selfishness, the intent to harm, the greed . . . we fess up and we confess it. That’s the scouring pad. Then we get on our hands and knees and we take the detergent of honesty and accountability and we clean. When we do that we will live with lightness, vigor and a freedom that we could not have imagined. Cleaning Requires Maturity We have a whole lot of people who walk around seeing themselves as shiny clean. We have this spit and polish attitude about ourselves. Yet, we’re all dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we have to stay dirty. Being dirty doesn’t mean that we’re dirty people. It simply means that we’re all fallen and that we all make mistakes. Bad choices are made in this world, and we make our fair share of them. Being accountable to our dirt and then rigorously cleaning it up allows the vibrancy and richness of our humanity to shine through and shine out. It maximizes who we are rather than forcing us to live a minimized life. It allows for a transparency where we can intersect others and be intersected. And in the end, it just feels plain good. So, how about a deep clean? © Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor Used by permission.
- Three Kinds of Critics and How to Handle Them
Not long ago, someone asked me the following question: “Can you give me some advice on how to handle criticism? I don’t think I’m doing a good job with it. Thanks.” Anyone who is making an impact is going to draw fire. It’s written in the bloodstream of the universe. An oft-repeated platitude is, “If you’re flying over the target, you’re going to catch flack.” Or as Elbert Hubbart stated, “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” If you are someone who is putting (or will one day put) your hand to the plow of God’s work, you will invite criticism. And the more valuable your contribution is to the kingdom of God, the more severe the criticism will be. Just take a look at the long list of specific (and surprising) criticisms that were leveled at both Jesus and Paul during their lifetime. In answer to the above question, here’s what I believe the Lord has taught me about handling criticism. In short, there are three kinds of critics and each should be responded to differently. 1. The Supporters. These are people who love you and support what you are doing. Any criticism they bring your way is constructive. It is designed to make you a better person. Supporters want you to succeed and they are cheering for you and your work. For instance, if you’re a writer, a supporter may point out a typographical or grammatical error. They may also draw your attention to a factual error (perhaps you got a historical date wrong, for instance). Your Response to Supporters. Welcome their criticisms. They are doing you a great service by pointing out your blind spots and oversights. Always thank them for taking the time to draw your attention to such things. Sometimes it’s not easy for them to do so. 2. The Objectors. Objectors are people who have a genuine disagreement with you about something. They aren’t your enemy. Consequently, they aren’t contentious, mean-spirited, and they don’t misrepresent you or your work. None of us can claim immaculate perception; therefore, you could be wrong. So be thankful for these people. Your Response to Objectors. Be open to the objectors because they may be right in their disagreement. Give them an ear and investigate what they are saying. It may turn out that their objection is accurate and they have done you a service by correcting your thinking on something. On the other hand, by analyzing their argument, they may confirm that you are correct. I’ve found that in most cases when I have engaged an objector and we talked through the apparent disagreement, we discovered that we really didn’t disagree. (See So You Think You Disagree? 4 Reasons Why You May Not.) 3. The Trolls. Trolls are people who are set on your destruction. They are governed by hatred, usually rooted in envy or jealousy. Oftentimes, trolls will first deliberately misrepresent you. But if that doesn’t work, they will resort to personal attacks and character assassination. Trolls are dishonest and traffic in manufacturing lies, spinning the truth, and distorting facts. They do not receive correction from anyone, and they lose credibility quickly. Only the gullible and those who also operate by hatred and envy agree with and support them. Trolls usually attack those they don’t know personally. Another common characteristic is that they repeatedly lift themselves up while tearing others down. They are inflicted with an inflated ego that has never gone to the cross. For this reason they are toxic to others. Your Response to Trolls. All social media experts say the same thing: Don’t feed the trolls; ignore them. If you engage a troll and try to correct him/her, it will be in vain. In fact, it’s counterproductive because it simply makes them appear more credible and draws attention to their dishonest statements. The experts point out that trolls don’t dignify a response. They are being deliberately dishonest so there’s no use in trying to correct them. The wisest course of action is to ignore them. As Proverbs 26:4 says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you will be like him yourself.” Eventually, trolls always end up dying on their own swords. Each of the three kinds of critics can be Christians (trolls are often professing Christians, sometimes claiming their Christianity quite loudly). When it comes to criticism, it’s important to remember that all things that come into your life – good or evil — have first passed through God’s hands (Romans 8:28ff.) So be thankful to the Lord for criticism. Receive the constructive kind with a spirit of gratefulness and ignore that which is rooted in falsehood, taking the high road as did your Lord when He was under attack: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23) frankviola.org . Used by permission.
- How You Know If You're a Hypocrite
RESOLVING HYPOCRISY: Most of us are unaware of how hypocrisy controls our lives. Here is a list of symptoms that will identify areas you need to address in your integrity in relationships toward others, toward God and in your morality. Neil Anderson, president of Freedom in Christ Ministries, has provided this powerful, helpful tool. LIST each way, either in the past or present, that you have pretended outwardly something that is not true inwardly. . HYPOCRISY TOWARD OTHERS Pretending to obey parents while being inwardly rebellious. Criticizing other’s failures when my spiritual problems are similar. Pretending to care for others while being bitter, resentful and angry. Saying one thing with my lips outwardly, but thinking differently in my heart. Saying I love someone when, in reality, I really hate them. Only telling the things about myself that I want others to know, instead of what is true. Being afraid of what others would think if they knew what I was like on the inside. Projecting myself as having it all together (no problems) out of fear of rejection from others. Dishonesty in sharing my weaknesses with others for fear of being rejected. Lying about things that happen, to cover up what I do. Lying to gain the acceptance of others. Identifying the problems that others have but not seeing my own. Matthew 7:5 Asking others to do things I am unwilling to do (i.e. clean house, wash dishes, etc…). HYPOCRISY TOWARD GOD Pretending to be close to God, when not desiring or enjoying a relationship with Him. Practicing religious activity to be seen and praised by men. Matthew 6:2,5,16 Pretending to be excited about fellowship with other believers, when in reality only wanting to impress them with my spirituality. Giving money to gain the praise of men. Matthew 6:2 Praying to impress others with my spirituality. Mathew 6:5 Fasting to impress others with my spirituality. Matthew 6:16 Pretending to be excited about service for the Lord, when merely doing it out of obligation. Pretending to live a holy life, but inwardly wishing I didn’t have to. Pretending to be a spiritual person when I’m really not. Saying I love God, but not obeying what He commands in His Word. Luke 6:46 Saying I have an intimate relationship with God, but seldom seeking Him in prayer. Obeying God because of a fear of what others will think of me. Making spiritual decisions based on other’s expectations of me. MORAL HYPOCRISY Pretending to have pure moral thoughts while yielding to lustful thoughts. Telling my spouse I am morally pure when being unfaithful in desires, thoughts or actions. Once you have allowed the Holy Spirit to convict you of hypocrisy, pray this prayer to be freed from Satan’s foothold in this area of your life. “Lord, I acknowledge and renounce my hypocrisy as evidenced through my evaluation listed above. I thank you for your forgiveness for my hypocrisy and choose to respond with openness, truthfulness and honesty from my heart.” Re-printed from FREEDOM IN CHRIST MINISTRIES, Dr. Neil Anderson, founder. Used by permission.







