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According to researchers, the vast majority–a whopping 75-98 percent–of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about truly affects us both physically and emotionally. In fact, fear alone triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses in our bodies, activating more than thirty different hormones! Today our culture is undergoing an epidemic of toxic thoughts that, left unchecked, create ideal conditions for illnesses. Remove bad thoughts and wire in new ones (Lamentations 3:23). This is called neurogenesis. You have been designed for deep, intellectual thought (Psalm 139:4). You are wired for love, and fear is a learned and not a natural response. (2 Timothy 1:7). You have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). You are made in God’s image. (Genesis 1:27). All of this knowledge will help you realize these truths: Happiness comes from within and success follows-not the other way around. You can learn how to learn and deepen your intellect. You can overcome learning issues. You can get the chaos in your mind under control. You don’t have to walk around in guilt and condemnation. If you wired those toxic thoughts in, you can wire them out. You don’t have to get stuck in bad habits; you can change them. You can overcome feelings of rejection and hurt. Forgiveness is not the battle that you think it is. You don’t have to worry about things that are out of your control. You are not a victim of the things you shouldn’t be doing. You don’t have to fear that if a condition runs in your family that you are going to get it (for example, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, or depression). You can balance your over-thinking and over-analyzing mind. You can overcome and control depression and anxiety—some scientists re showing You can even control and overcome schizophrenia and OCD. You don’ have to keep digging into the past to get free from it. You can be happy and filled with peace regardless of your circumstances. Summary of: SWITCH ON YOUR BRAIN: THE KEY TO PEAK HAPPINESS, THINKING AND HEALTH. Order from Amazon today! Used by permission of the author.

Is she a collection of body parts? Is she made of plastic? Or is she a whole person with a soul, full of all the things that make a person human: strengths, weaknesses, quirks, fears, insecurities, anxieties, vulnerabilities, likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams? The answer is obvious, yet it escapes so many men lost in our sex-and-skin-saturated culture. Whether by conscious choice or by years of overexposure that has conditioned an addiction, many men view women as objects to be consumed. This trap is so easy to fall in to, most men don’t even realize they are doing it. I know for most of my life, I didn’t. If you allowed yourself to be raised on soft-core pornography the way I did, your mind and body define attractiveness as body parts. You give a woman her worth based on her body parts and not much else. This is just as true for woman you see on a page or a screen as it is for women you see in real life. It’s easy to stare at a photo or movie of a nude woman and create the perfect fantasy with her. You know nothing else about her! The reality is, she’d likely have zero interest in you in real life and you likely would be quite turned off by a variety of things about her as well. But it’s not real life. It’s fantasy. But where do you live? You live in real life, not in fantasy. We all live in real life. So what happens when the way we view women is completely formed in fantasy then we get up from the computer to interact with women in real life? Problems ensue, and ensue quickly. The Stakes If you’re married, these ensuing problems are obvious. If there’s one thing marriage does, it shows the full humanity of a woman and the full humanity of a man. There’s a reason our marriage vows say “for better or worse” in them: marriage is guaranteed to bring with it the best sides of a person, as well as the worst. There is no hiding in marriage—which is the exact opposite of pornography and lust. So as a man, you know all of your wife’s flaws, you smell her breath in the morning, and you see her when she’s tired, stressed out, and without makeup. You see none of these things in pornography—or in the attractive woman you think is flirting with you at the receptionist counter. Fantasy then takes over and you assume this woman has none of these human imperfections. As fantasy crashes headfirst into reality, logical thought goes out the window and obsession and longing ensue—a recipe for disaster in a marriage. But the stakes aren’t any less if you’re single. Many single guys feel they have a license to lust since they aren’t married, as it doesn’t seem like they are harming anyone else. The sobering remedy to this line of thought is simple: if you’re conditioned to view women as objects meant for your consumption, how do you view my wife when she walks in the room? How do you view my daughters? What thoughts go through your head? Where do your eyes go? Exactly. If you are single and you feel this gives you the license to lust, please stay far away from me and my family. This mindset makes you an incredibly unsafe person to be around. As Christians, we are called to be in trusting, dignity-giving community with one another. The only way to do this is to be serious about the damage our pattern of objectifying women does to everyone around us. The Solution The solution to a mindset of objectification is to allow God to rewire the way our brains process the women we interact with. We obviously need to completely cut off the pornography as the “professor” who wired us to turn women into pieces of meat like this in the first place. But beyond the elimination of this force, we need to allow God’s healing and corrective touch to rebuild the way we were designed to view women. Every woman you lust over is someone’s daughter. Would you want someone lusting over your daughter the way you lust over women? Obviously not—because you view your daughter as a whole person, not as a collection of body parts. All of us, men and women, are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). This is full humanity. God tells us that the very definition of sex is two of these full humans coming together as one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Anything less that the full merger of these two humans falls short of God’s design for sex. “Full” meaning all of someone: the good and the bad, and definitely not just their body parts. The reality is sex is not about body parts. It’s about trust, safety and commitment—things that are completely foreign to lust. God did not create women to be consumed, nor did he create you to consume them. So next time you see a cute girl, don’t dehumanize her by placing her sole value on her physical appearance. And don’t let lust dehumanize you by turning you into this kind of consuming monster. Sex and lust make lousy gods. Ask the only God with any real power to heal you and put you on the path to loving all of his image-bearing children the way he loves you, and the way he loves your daughters. www.covenanteyes.com . Guest author Noah Filipiak.

Church history shows us that in key periods of time, God gives specific assignments to His followers. In times past, when God’s church has been at its most prayerful, courageous, unified and culturally engaged, the Lord has used His people to: • Fight slavery • End segregation • Fight human trafficking • Fight child labor • Promote literacy • Oppose gladiatorial combat / death games (in ancient Rome) • Fight infanticide (throughout history) • Oppose child marriage (in 3rd world countries) • End temple prostitution (Rome) • Stand against child sexual abuse and child prostitution • Fight the view that wives are mere “property” • Fight for fair treatment of prisoners • Promote the equality of mankind • Build hospitals, create relief agencies, and invest for the betterment of the human condition …etc., etc. Clearly, when followers of Jesus link arms for cultural engagement, the trajectory of history is changed. As Christians we must ask, “What may I do in my lifetime that will count for eternity? How may my life and abilities be invested in Christ’s Great Commission?” For the following ten reasons, the conversion of Muslims must be a top priority for Christians in America. I also want to share with you HOW to win a Muslim to Christ. Reaching them with Jesus’ love is the only way to truly change the world. 1. Love of Truth Christians are called to love what is true (Philippians 4:8). The truth is: • Mohammed was not a true prophet, because he taught things that contradict Scripture; • Allah is a false god, because there is only one true God, the father of Jesus Christ; • The Quran is not a holy book, as Scripture clearly warns against adding anything to God’s Holy Word; • The message of Islam does not correspond to reality, as its ‘truth claims’ or doctrine are false. These include its interpretation of history, its views of the Jewish people, and its murderous perspective of non-Muslims. Christians must oppose Islam because it is demonstrably false. Because we are called to love what is true, as Christians, we should want to see Muslims come to know the truth as well. 2. Devotion to Jesus Christ One of the biggest differences between Islam and Christianity is the view on the nature and mission of Jesus. Muslims often show respect for faithful followers of Isa (Jesus). And in some places, Islam affirms Christ, called “Messiah,” the Word of God, Spirit of God, “born of the virgin Mary.” Muslims are to honor prophets, and Jesus is called a prophet, and the Koran even says that Jesus performed miracles, and raised someone from the dead. The prophet Mohammed is given none of these accolades in the Koran. However, no Christian can affirm Islam because of its clear denials and distortions about Jesus. Islam denies: • The deity of Jesus • The incarnation of Jesus • The Trinitarian understanding of Jesus • The crucifixion of Jesus • The atonement for sin by Jesus • Jesus’ physical resurrection from the grave Scripture provides a clear way to test whether a prophet is true or false. A true prophet will not deny the deity of Jesus Christ (Col. 2:8-9), and a true prophet will not deny the humanity of Jesus Christ (1 John 4:1-2). Because Islam denies Jesus’ deity, a Christian cannot consider Islam a true religion. 3. Commitment to Scripture 2 Timothy 3:16 clearly teaches that all Scripture is God-breathed, inspired by God, and as Christians, we are called to be not only hearers of the Word of God but also doers, lest we deceive ourselves (James 1:22). Adherence to God’s Word in its entirety is not optional for true believers in Christ. As a result, ‘watering down’ the truths proclaimed in Scripture and acceding that all religions are equal is clear disobedience to God’s Word. 4. Compassion for Lost Souls One of the most important reasons we must pray and work for the conversion of Muslims is that we should be heartbroken that 1.6 billion souls are lost and without hope. There is no other name but the name of Jesus by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). 5. Respect for Human Rights The abuse of women and children in Islamic culture is well-documented, as is the persecution of so-called ‘infidels.’ Forced marriage of young girls and the overt repression of woman is often not only accepted but welcomed. Islam upholds no intrinsic value of human life as created in the image of God, but values only those lives that bring ‘honor’ to the Prophet. There is supposed ‘honor,’ however, in killing those who dishonor him. In The Clash of Civilizations, Harvard University Professor and former Carter Administration cabinet member Samuel P. Huntington wrote: “Wherever one looks along the perimeter of Islam, Muslims have problems living peaceably with their neighbors. Muslims make up about one-fifth of the world’s population, but in the 1990’s, they have been far more involved in inter group violence than the people of any other civilization. The evidence is overwhelming…There were, in short, three times as many intercivilizational conflicts involving Muslims as there were conflicts between all non-Muslim civilizations. (Huntington, Samuel. The Clash of Civilizations. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, 1996. p. 256-258.) As Christians, we are called to esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3); therefore, we should be dedicated to urging Muslims to turn away from a belief system that abuses human rights. 6. Belief in God-Given Liberty Because America is the land of the free, our nation has been able to send missionaries worldwide to share the love of Jesus Christ, and here at home, we have been able to minister to the poor, help the downtrodden, and practice our faith freely. As Christians, if we believe in this God-given liberty and freedom of conscience, we must work to convert Muslims to faith in Jesus, or else, we stand to lose our liberty. Consider that there are 2.4 million Muslims in US today. Two-thirds of these are immigrants, having come here from 68 countries. According to a USA Today article from May 23, 2007, “The USA’s 2.4 million Muslims hold more moderate political views than Muslims elsewhere in the world.” However, “pockets of sympathy for Islamic extremism (exist in the US), especially among younger people.” Additionally, “47 percent of Muslims consider themselves Muslims first and Americans second.” Huntington also wrote: “It is hard to find statements by any Muslims, whether politicians, officials, academics, businesspersons, or journalists, praising Western values and institutions.” (Huntington. The Clash of Civilizations. p. 213.) 7. Patriotism toward America Our primary allegiance as Christians must always be to Christ alone; yet, as we have been given the blessing to live in a free nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles, we also have the responsibility to defend our freedoms, as they provide the best opportunity for sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When Christopher Columbus wrote in his journal about his life purpose as well as his understanding of God’s hand in his actions, his words read that he was “devoted to the holy Christian faith and propagators thereof, and enemies of the sect of Mahomet (Mohammed) and of idolatries and heresies” and that his purpose in traveling to parts of India was “to see those princes and peoples and land and the character of them and of all else, and the manner which should be used to bring about their conversion to our holy faith…” Columbus also frequently quoted Matthew 28:19-20 (The Great Commission) and Acts 1:8 (“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” NIV) in relation to himself, and he believed God had a divine plan for the North American continent and that he was a part of it. And central to this plan was sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Contrast this with the belief of Islam regarding America. Listen to the words of extremist leaders: • “The real matter is the extinction of America, and God willing, it will fall to the ground.” Mullah Mohammed Omar, January, 2002 • “The White house will turn black with God’s help, and America, England, and Israel should be destroyed.” Jerusalem Mufti (the highest Islamic religious teacher in Jerusalem) • “Jihad is our path, let us damn America, let us damn Israel.” Sami Al-Arian, Kuwaiti native and University of South Florida professor • “Have no mercy on the Jews, where ever you are, kill those Jews and the Americans who are like them.” Sheik Ahmed Abu Halabiya, in a sermon broadcast on Palestinian Authority television Consider this: An October 2001 survey of over 500,000 people from so-called “Moderate” Islamic nations yielded more than one-half million responses affirming that Osama Bin Laden—the mastermind behind the 9/11 terror attacks on America— is viewed as “a folk hero, and a righteous Muslim.” If we love our nation, Christians must pray for the conversion of Muslims. 8. Concern for our Descendants Recent billboards in Cairo, Egypt read: “The Muslims are coming! We are going to change the face of the world by Islam, and rule by the Koran!” Dave Phillips is a campus minister to international students, and he works with many Muslim youth, both American and immigrant. In his words: “Muslim parents tend to pass down the good, and bypass the darker stories of the past. They never mention the Christian youths persecuted by Muslims and forced to convert and become the Janissaries, during the Ottoman Empire. They never mention the hundreds of thousands of Armenians killed in Turkey in 1915. Even today, they ignore the Sudanese government which imposes Sharia law on Christian black tribes… through starvation and military attacks.” (Taber. Muslims Next Door. p. 60.) The bloody legacy of Islam has already impacted our generation: • Pan Am Flight 103 • World Trade Center bombing, 1993 • US Military bombings, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia • American Embassy bombing, Africa • USS Cole bombing • World Trade Center Towers, 9-11-01 • Jihad killings of 3,000,000 in Sudan (at one point, 800,000 Christians were killed in under 90 days) Unless the advance of Islam is halted, this is the future our children will face. 9. Quest for Self-Preservation “It [Islam] is the only religion that was started in conscious opposition to Christianity.” (Hume, R.E. The World’s Living Religions. New York, New York: Charles Scribner & Sons. p. 213.) In his book, The World’s Living Religions, R.E. Hume, Ph.D. writes, “Mohammed was a domineering, warring, autocrat. He prescribed war, and advocated violence toward all non-Muslims.” (Hume 218). And perhaps even more sobering is Hume’s observation: “Nowhere in the world is there a notably successful self-governing national administration which has been started by Muslims.” Yet, today, we see Muslims not only refusing to assimilate into Western culture in terms of accepting Western law but also attempting to infiltrate Western culture with Sharia law. Islam has one goal: dominance. Yet, such dominance can exist only when self-government is obliterated. 10. Worship of God In all of this, our highest motive for wanting to see the conversion of Muslims is not so the world will be less violent. It’s not even so 1.6 billion people will avoid hell. For the Christian, our desire to see the conversion of Muslims is also motivated by our desire for there to be more worshippers of the living God! John Piper said that “…missions and evangelism exists, because worship of the true God does not currently exist among all peoples.” Conclusion A great spiritual battle is taking place in our nation, and it’s one that will not resolve on its own. We would do well to remember the worlds of Benjamin Franklin, spoken to the delegates working through a period of crisis during the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia: “We have been assured, Sir, in the sacred writings, that ‘except the Lord Build the House they labor in vain that build it.’ (Psalm 127:1). I firmly believe this; and I also believe that without concurring aid we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel: We shall be divided by our little partial local interests; our projects will be confounded, and we ourselves shall become a reproach and bye word down to future ages.”(Farrand, Max, ed. The Records of the Federal Convention of 1787. Volume I. p. 451-452.) How Do We as Christians Respond to Islam? Certainly, there is a theological response to Islam. For example: • Jesus’ claims about salvation were confirmed by an unparalleled degree of proof. Christ physically rose from death, confirming who He was and what He taught. Mohammad’s teachings were not accompanied by supernatural confirmation, and the Muslim prophet himself said he did no miracles. • Compelling data affirm the trustworthiness of the Bible. Muslims believe the New Testament is not trustworthy because the original documents allegedly have been altered over the years. However, no one can point out the alleged “changes” or when they were supposedly made. The corruptions simply aren’t there. • John 3:16’s literal meaning matters. Whether a Bible translation reads that Jesus is God’s “only begotten Son” or “one and only Son,” this verse does not imply that God had physical relations with Mary, as Muslims believe. The original language asserts that Jesus is, literally, “of the same nature” or “essence” as the Father. • Christianity is unique in that Jesus is a loving and sinless Savior. The Koran’s suras 40:55 and 48:1-2 teach that Muhammad was a sinner. Because Jesus possessed both full divinity and sinless humanity, He was qualified to die sacrificially and capable of rising by His own power. • Christians have an intimate personal relationships with Jesus and great joy knowing they are secure in Christ (John 10:28-29). Where one stands with God is the most important issue of life—more important than culture, family background or social customs. There is also a practical response: • Pray! Prayer is indispensable. Indeed, Scripture teaches that God the Father is the One Who draws people to Jesus. • Be very kind to Muslims. • Be very humble, and avoid an air of superiority or cockiness at all costs. • Be patient, and be ready to re-explain certain things several times. • Quote the Bible freely. Muslims have a degree of reverence for the Bible. • Focus on Jesus Christ. • Emphasize that Christians have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ (John 15:1-8, 1 John 1:3; 1 John 5:11-13; Revelation 3:20). • Emphasize that Christianity is unique among the world’s religions. • Share that Christians have great joy in knowing that they are SECURE in Christ. • Point out that where one stands with God is the most important issue of life. Oh – and did I mention, pray. “…That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.” Romans 10:9-10

The stern warning to Ephesus is followed by an encouragement that is notoriously difficult to understand. It is this encouragement that provides us with a considerable amount of clarity about the matter of criticism itself. 6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate. (Rev 2:6) The encouragement had to do with Christ’s affirmation that the believers in Ephesus do hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans. In order to understand what those deeds may have been we must see what John was asked to write to the congregation in another great Roman city in the Asia Minor – the City of Pergamum. We read in Rev. 2:13-15 “I know where you dwell, where Satan’s throne is… I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols and to commit acts of immorality. So you also have some who in the same way hold the teaching of the Nicolaitans.” ( Rev 2:13-15 ) In these verses we see the evil deeds of Balaam in teaching Balak to entice Israel to sin. The treachery concerned two things 1) eating foods sacrificed to idols and 2) engaging in acts that are sexually immoral ( Num 22-24 ). T hese things are somehow connected with the evil teachings of the Nicolaitans. Incidentally, the decision of the Jerusalem council as expressed in their letter to the Gentile followers of Jesus, while exempting the non-Jews from all kinds of burdens of observance obligatory to Jews, set forth a concrete set of food-related prohibitions for Gentiles as well. We read in Acts 15:28-29 , “For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these essentials: that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell.” It is not hard to notice that out of four behaviors forbidden to Gentiles two had do to with Nicolaitans and Balam/Balak issues (eating food sacrificed to idols and sexual immorality). It is important to see that this combination of food and sex-related offenses was particularly important for the Jewish Apostles and elders to address in their letter to Gentile converts to the Jewish Christ. In other words, is it even conceivable that the Apostles would permit Gentile followers of Christ to commit murder, to steal or to be obsessed with the possessions of their neighbors?! The answer to this is of course not. This was not a comprehensive list. But these issues brought up at the Jerusalem Council (consuming food sacrificed to idols, blood, and illicit sex) seem to constitute central challenges that the Gentile followers of the Jewish Christ encountered in their daily lives in the Roman Empire. In the Roman world, the overwhelming majority of meat sold on the market was first offered/dedicated to one or another deity. The only exception to this was the Judean/Jewish isolation from the rest of the Roman population who had their own slaughter rules and privileges. Most Jews residing in the Roman Empire were a part of the network in which food was handled differently. The writings of the Apostle Paul to the nations (all the letters that Saul/Paul ever wrote that made into our New Testament) show clearly that these issues continued to plague the believers enough for him to address them in considerable detail (1 Cor.8-10). Judging from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians (that we mistakenly call the first Letter to the Corinthians – 1 Cor.5:9) some Gentile Christ-followers felt that they could continue to purchase and consume meat that had been sacrificed to a pagan deity. The Apostle Paul while agreeing with them that these gods (idols) are nothing, sides with the Jerusalem council in forbidding all the Gentile Christ-followers from eating food associated with Greco-Roman worship rituals in any way (1 Cor.8:1-13). Having considered this important issue, let us return to the discussion of the Nicolaitans. Who were the Nicolaitans and what is the origin of this word that first comes up in Rev. 2:6and then is repeated in Rev. 2:15? The main traditional attempt to understand the etymology of the word is often tied to diaconal appointee Nicolas in Acts 6:5 – “The proposal pleased the entire group, so they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, with Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, a Gentile convert to Judaism from Antioch.” Presumably at some later stage Nicolas began to teach what was eventually defined as evil deeds of the Nicolaitans and the matter is quite obscure. However, there is another, often overlooked option, suggested many years ago by great Jewish Christian Hebraist John Lightfoot. It allows one to continue reading the Book of Revelation as thoroughly Jewish anti-Roman document. He suggested that perhaps deacon Nicolas was a wrong trail to follow. Instead Nicolaitans was a Hebraism (in this case something originally said in Hebrew but spelled with Greek letters). What did he have in mind? In Hebrew in order to say “we will eat” verb ???? (nokhal) would have been used. We read in Is.4:1, “And seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat (???????) our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach. If this Hebrew word ???? (nokhal) is transferred into Greek it can be used as a term describing the “we will eat” people. In a sense that this was their motto, their sentiment – “we will eat” the food that others think is forbidden (food offered to pagan deities). Thus ??? ?????????? (ton nikolaton) “the Nicolaitans” as a group or teaching can originate from Hebrew ???? (nokhal) “we will eat” making a cohesive connection to the context of Balaam and Balak and incident in the book of Numbers referred to in Rev. 2:13-15. 7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’ (Rev 2:7) “The one who has an ear, let him hear” is also a Hebraism that is used also on a number of occasions in the Gospels by Jesus himself. For example, in parable of the seed falling on the good soil and producing various level of fruit (Mark 4:1-20). The basic meaning of this Hebraism is this: “if one is able to hear it, one must obey it.” In this case (Rev. 2:7) what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Christ-following congregations of the Asia Minor is so important that if one hears it, one must obey it. Besides the Hebraism there is a word play in Greek of this verse. The one who hears is “the one who overcomes” ?? ??????? (to nikoti) which is a form of the verb ????? (nikao) that means “to win, conquer, persevere and be victorious”. This suspiciously sounds very similar to the term we just encountered – ??????????? (nikolates) “a Nicolaitan”. If the motto of Nicolaitans is “we will eat” then as a pun this is exactly what God promises to the one who overcomes. If they forgo eating food sacrificed to idols they will eat of the Tree of Life and live. The writer of the Wisdom of Solomon compared the righteous people to the trees of life, as if each one of them is a tree. 1 Faithful is the Lord to them that love Him in truth, To them that endure His chastening, (2) To them that walk in the righteousness of His commandments, In the law which He commanded us that we might live. 2(5) The pious of the Lord shall live by it forever; The Paradise of the Lord, the trees of life, are His pious ones. 3(4) Their planting is rooted for ever. They shall not be plucked up all the days of heaven: (5) For the portion and the inheritance of God is Israel. ( Wisdom of Solomon 14:1-5 ) Almighty always keeps those he calls and chooses. He chastises them but always desires for them to prove themselves faithful, so that they may be with him forever, planted as the trees in the House of the Lord. This was a serious warning. www.eteacherbiblical.com . Used by permission.

Complacency is a potently tragic hallmark of our lives. We’ve certainly got bunches of it. In fact, as the old saying goes, we’ve got it “in spades.” Complacency is conceived in the bosom of familiarity , where something becomes so commonplace that we errantly render it as ‘common.’ We’ve yet to beat this terribly corrosive tendency we have to assume that the more we have of something, the less it’s inherent value. And held tight in the womb of such thinking, complacency is vigorously nurtured and eventually borne. With such a debilitating mentality, it often takes the absence of something to help us understand why the presence of that thing is so terribly vital. In fact, how vital something is might best be illustrated by removing it altogether. We are constantly surrounded by things that are absolutely vital to our existence, yet the regularity of their existence renders them ‘common.’ In time, ‘common’ becomes bland. And in time, bland becomes invisible. And over time, we walk in the company things wholly vital to our existence, but we feel ourselves to be walking alone. We become complacent. Diluting of Love One of the things that we become complacent about is love. We blithely toss around the idea of love in a manner that paints it as something of a magical storyline. It seems that far too often we’ve relegated it to the penmanship of misty-eyed novelists or the musings of our own minds, and in doing so we’ve seemed to have created some horribly diluted understanding of love. We’ve created sugary-sweet caricatures of love that we’ve woven into everything from t-shirts to holidays. We’ve penned its prose into a million cards, and we’ve inserted that self-same prose into tens of thousands of chapters that lay nestled between the covers of a thousand novels. We’ve created starry-eyed renditions of love that serve to put the cold realities of our existence at bay, and we’ve crafted innumerable romantic tales scripted to convince us that the shrunken life that we’re living is not all that there is to live. As is the case with far too many great things, we contort and editorialize them to suit our pithy notions and shallow needs. We can’t see great things as being great things unless we extort them and enslave them to some level of servitude. It seems that great things are great if they serve us. And so we take grandiose license with great things to mold and twist and shape them to make them great based on our needs or our schemas. And in doing so we gut them of everything that made them great, and we field dress them to their own death. We become complacent about great things. And it seems that we do that with love. Losing Love to Understand Love If we want to appreciate something in earnest, it seems that we must first lose it. The slumber of complacency is deep. There’s something at the basest core of our humanity that doesn’t awaken until it’s violently shaken. And often that violent ‘shaking’ is to lose the very thing that we need to be awakened to. Sadly, by the time that we’re finally ‘shaken’ awake from our dozing complacency, the thing that we needed to be awakened to is long gone. And out of the ensuing panic we desperately try to figure out how to get it back, or we determine that we can’t get it back so we either settle into denial or grieve our loss. Therefore, maybe the best way to understand love is to understand what life would be like without it. That’s probably not something that many of us think about or have thought about or would like to think about. But, what would our existence be like if this thing that we call ‘love’ simply didn’t existence? Additionally, what if any shred of any emotion that was even remotely similar to love simply did not exist. Take love out of our existence, and the chilling question would be “what’s left?” If we knew that, we might be less complacent. What’s Left Without Love Loss of Community Take away love and we have no reason to consider our fellowman nor join him in the partnership of life and living. The communal foundation forged strong by empathy, fired by sympathy, and cinched tight by respect is obliterated. The unbroken strength of that foundation as faithfully sustained by conscience and ethics would collapse and completely implode. In the collapse, we would become brutally rogue entities savagely committed to the sustenance of our own existence. Life would become wholly adversarial, helplessly falling into the smoldering ashes of anarchy. Without love our world would fall, and in the chaos of the descent it would tear itself apart to its own death. Loss of Self Take away love and our own individual existence would fall into abject irrelevance. The desire to sustain ourselves would devolve to a singularly primitive savagery that would be completely dependent upon the degree of savagery that we possess to sustain it. Hatred of self and for self born of the absence of love would cause us to viciously turn on ourselves, rendering us our own enemies. We would then become the very thing that we fear and the very object that we despise. And in such a pathetic conundrum, we would have no point of escape. The deep passion to expand ourselves, to expotentionally grow, to vigorously nurture the plethora of resources that we possess would simply not exist because we would not have the love for ourselves that would prompt us to such dynamic actions. In essence, to become loveless is to become non-existent. Loss of Life Take away love, and nothing would capture our imagination. We would find nothing compelling. We would never marvel or be held in the mesmerizing embrace of wonder. We would never be lifted to heights of ecstasy, nor would we know the depths to which one could fall. Passion, desire, dreams and hope are all borne of love and entirely sustained by it. And when they are gone because love is gone we become little more than mindless carbon-based life forms driven by a drive to exist that is no deeper than the drive to exist. Without love our humanity vanishes and with it everything that sets us apart from everything else. Rather, our lives would be lived out on a stale robotic continuum where life would have no flavor, no scent, no color, no melody and no texture. We would know nothing of vision and we would cease to be fascinated by ceaseless possibilities. We would lose the ability to visualize something greater than ourselves, and then believe that we have the ability to become that thing. Rather, we would become automatons, driven solely by the baser drive of instinct alone. Take away love and we take away meaning. Loss of Existence Finally, have we postulated that without love existence would never have existed in the first place? While we have done a bang-up job of banging up life, it is love that always puts it all back together again. And when love puts things back together, it always puts them back together better than they were before we messed them up. Love is the single thing that has called humanity up and out at times of monumental crisis. Love is the thing that pressed men forward at those pivotal moments in history when everything that was not love declared all as lost. Love is what pushed civilizations upward and onward when they teetered on the brink of oblivion. Love is what called people to moments of great sacrifice so that others might move on even if those sacrificing could not because of their sacrifice. It is on the winds of love that we have been raised up and thrust out. And so, I would be so bold as to say that if it weren’t for love, existence would have never existed in the first place. Getting Back to Love Love is far more than something that has arisen from the penmanship of misty-eyed novelists or the musings of our own minds. Love is far more than the sugary-sweet caricatures of love that we’ve woven into everything from t-shirts to holidays. It is infinitely greater than the prose that we’ve penned into a million cards, and it is unimaginably superior to the self-same prose that we’ve inserted into tens of thousands of chapters that lay nestled between the covers of a thousand novels. Imagine life without love and you will begin to touch the periphery of this incredible thing that we call ‘love.’ And in doing so, we can once again understand the wonderfully immense power of this thing called ‘love.’ © 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor

“After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” 22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke.” John 21-22 The very thought that someone from his most intimate circle of disciples could betray him gave Jesus what the Gospel calls “trouble in his spirit.” Judas Iscariot was so trusted hat no one looked his way. They looked around with bewilderment. One of the ways we know Judas was trusted by the twelve is because he was the one responsible for the disciple’s treasury. The money bag was guarded from thievery and bandits by Judas Iscariot, which may suggest that the word “Iscariot” was etymologically connected to the word sicarii. The sicarii was a Jewish ultra-zealot terrorist group operating in Judea that leveled blow after blow to the Roman occupation and their supporters. It is possible that Judas was a former sicarii. (They were largely men of principled convictions and excellent fighting skills. Judas was not entrusted with the money because he could count better than the other disciples. Had this been the case, Mathew, the former tax-collector, would have been chosen.) 23 One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, In a world where tables were on the same level as the floor, the disciples partook of their food reclining (almost prostrate) around the area where food was served. One of the disciples was this mysterious person who is called “the beloved disciple.” There have been various theories put forth as to the identity of this disciple. (None fully convincing). He was most likely the author of this otherwise anonymous Gospel. 24 so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. Notice the level of detail that the Gospel gives. It can best be explained by the author (in opposition to Luke’s account) being an eyewitness to the narrated events. He remembers the small points, like the beloved disciple motioning to Jesus to get his attention during the meal where no doubt the disciples were loudly talking. 25 So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. We can almost feel the tension. Jesus speaks of his betrayal by one of the disciples. The beloved disciple asked him quietly to show him who would betray him. Jesus answered just as quietly: “I will show you now”. (It was customary to take a piece of bread and dip it in something tasty and give it directly to another person nearby.) It was the perfect way to tell the beloved disciple something in such a way that no one would guess what Jesus was really doing. 27 Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” 28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. 29 Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. 30 So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night. As Jesus extended his hand to give the peace of bread to Judas Iscariot he told him out loud that he should hurry up. Jesus had routinely given Judas assignments, so it looked like nothing unusual had taken place. 31 When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. 32 If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once. 33 Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going you cannot come.’ It is intriguing that while we normally ascribe the term glorification to Jesus only after his resurrection, Jesus does so in advance of the events. It seems that Jesus viewed betrayal, death, resurrection and ascension as one package, so much so that at the time when the events that ultimately led to his death and resurrection began, he was already able to say: “Now is the Son of Man glorified”. 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” This was intended for of all faithful Christ-followers everywhere and at all times (and rightly so) but originally it was in reference to the 12 apostles. How you may ask? If Jesus was appointing new heads of the tribes of Israel and as such was renewing Israel’s hope; when could we expect there to be some correlation with the narratives of the 12 heads of the tribes of Israel. One of the foundational stories of the sons of Jacob was the story of Joseph’s near-killing and eventual being sold into slavery in Egypt. One can hardly speak of anything more unloving than the heads of Israel’s key family attempted murder of their brother. In our text, here, at the foundation of the renewed Israel through the twelve new heads/apostles, Jesus begins by commanding them to love one another. This is indeed how their authority as true disciples of Christ would be recognized by those who are true Israel. 36 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward.” 37 Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” 38 Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times. Peter’s commitment would soon be tested. Jesus told Peter that when the time would come, Peter would deny him. That time was rapidly approaching. One of the reasons Jesus said this was because he already knew Judas Iscariot was on his way to the Temple to betray Jesus’ location to the authorities for his immediate arrest.

Share 0 Leadership is a rare commodity. It’s almost impossible to imitate. Competitors can only imitate what you do, but they can’t imitate who you are. How do you define a successful leader? A great leader is someone who inspires others to greatness. This simple definition is all-encompassing. Leaders do not fit a single profile. Leaders are not like t-shirts: one size fits all. They are not robots. Different kinds of leaders can be effective. What competency do great leaders have? They know their main objective: the “one thing” that drives every decision, every methodology. What’s your “One Thing?” It is your passion, what makes life worth living for you. This one thing becomes your true north, your inner compass, your centerline. I call it having a clear “Life Philosophy”. Steve Jobs defined his vision: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” If we don’t have a clear life philosophy, we stop thinking, we stop asking questions and we don’t understand the “why” behind things. Having a clear life philosophy has two advantages. You need to know where you are going, or life will take you somewhere you don’t want to go. For example, living life is like navigating an old sailing ship on the high seas. If you drop the sails, have no compass or captain, you are driven by wind, currents and storms. You drift aimlessly. When you live purposefully, you follow the captain. You know your tools, and sail using a rudder, a compass, reading the stars. You can sail through storms, into the wind and overcome obstacles. People sense your authenticity and passion. They identify your purpose, inner conviction, honesty and transparency. Being a purposeful leader gives you freshness and joy. Such character is attractive and compelling. How do you develop your life philosophy? Think deeply. Know yourself and understand life’s principles. We often depend on others to think for us. We listen to media, politicians, preachers and friends to tell us what to think and how to determine right and wrong. Thinking deeply requires simplicity, silence and solitude. What can you eliminate in your life to slow down and focus? What habits clutter your thinking? How much media can you pare down? How much time do you devote to television, internet, social media, e-mails? Do you look at your iPhone 150 times per day? Silence requires us to quiet our minds, talk less and listen more. We need to listen to others, but also to our inner voice. We need to be spiritual people. Solitude is essential to thinking deeply. You spend time with the person you want to get to know. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, meditate and allow yourself to be comfortable with being alone. Peel back layers of pretense and self-delusion and learn who you truly are. By the time we are adults, we form a “protective shield.” Psychologists call it “confirmation bias.” Confirmation bias happens when we filter reality through our prejudices, ignoring evidence that challenges or refutes what we believe and eagerly accepting evidence that confirms what we believe. Confirmation bias becomes a form of “self-delusion” Author Adam Smith writes that self-delusion is the “source of half the disorders of human life,” creating multiple problems in human existence. President Lincoln struggled with the injustices in the South. He knew the Confederate leaders. How could so many reasonable, educated and godly men defend the atrocities of slavery and its injustice? Confirmation bias. They saw what they wanted to see, and disregarded the rest. Mentors, spouses, books, self-evaluation, and psychological testing all help us see the reflection of our “true selves.” Finally, we need to “feed the wolf” as leaders. We must understand the governing laws of life and learn how to utilize them to our advantage. There are laws of nature, economics, and spirituality. If we don’t clearly understand these laws, we will find ourselves fighting against them. Here is just one example: An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.” The boy thought about it and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.” What you feed is what will grow. You are either going to feed good or evil, virtue or vice. Be a focused leader. Think deeply. Know yourself. Practice virtue and integrity. Those who follow will bless you.

Laura’s Question: ?” The other day I was sharing with my husband about my day. It was a hard and long day. As I started to tear up, he launched into solutions to my problems. I’m hurt now because I have asked him to just listen before, but he does not get it. What do I do? How can I get him to understand that I usually just need a listening ear and that I will ask for solutions when I need them?”?? Dr. Leman’s Answer: This is something that men don’t get. Your husband is an absolute perfect specimen of what is a man. Men, by their nature, are fixers. Just like so many women, by their nature of comforters, givers, and huggers. ?Okay? So, we’re asking the crooked river not to bend.? You have to know what you’re up against. And so, that’s probably one of the toughest questions that I could be asked but let me be the wife here for a minute and see if I can pull this off. ?”Frank, I need to talk to you and I don’t want you to say one word for the next three minutes. I just want you to hear what I have to tell you. And Frank, this is very serious.” And there’s a pause on purpose. And then, you launch into it.? ”Yesterday afternoon, when you came home, I started to share with you about my day and about how my day turned ugly quickly. And you could see in my face and you could see the tears in my eyes–this was bothering me. As I began to reach into my heart, to bare my soul to you, you took a meat cleaver and you cut the pork loin in two. Crash. You just cut me off. And I was more than hurt by that.”? “I realize this isn’t easy for you or any of your buddies at work could do naturally because men are not great listeners. They’re fixers. You went on to point out all the things that I need to do to solve my problem. Frank, that’s the least I need from you. That is not what my heart desires. I want you to hear me out and that’s why I’ve asked not for one word out of your mouth for the next three minutes because you really have to understand how I, as a woman, operate.”?“ And I know enough that I’m representative of the female gender. We, as women, have a need to pour our feelings with a safety net underneath us. And that safety net is you. We want to be like that commercial, you’re in good hands with Allstate. We want to feel like there’s tendered gentle hands around our feelings.” ?“And when I share from my heart and that meat cleaver comes down and just shuts me off, I feel hurt. I feel neglected, I feel unwanted, I feel disrespected and it brings up feelings in me. Frank, that quite frankly, I don’t think I would feel at a liberty to tell you how bad those feelings are because it cuts through the very core of who I am.” ?“So, I know it’s difficult for you to just listen. But I need you to just listen to me. I don’t need you to fix anything. So, when I pour out my heart to you, what I need from you is open arms, a smiling face, a warm caress. You know what that means to me? It means you get it. You understand what I’m up against.”? And then, I just might say to you, “Frank, I’m stuck. I need your help. And you come on with your suggestions because you have a logical, linear, A comes before B which comes before C mind. And I’ll admit I need that from time to time in my life. You’re my rock, you’re the man I love. You’re the one I’ve had children with. The only man I’ve ever been intimate with in my entire life. So when I share these feelings with you, I’m almost to that point, just open your hands like Allstate and then mimic and you just squash those feelings by rubbing your hands together that makes me feel like I’m less than a human being.”? “Now, I’m so glad you didn’t say a word. I appreciate you hearing me up. “Now, I’m going to do something that you’re going to love. I’m going to say to you, ‘Frank, tell me how you feel about what I just said.’ “?Now, if he tells you some things at that point, okay? And again, your job is to listen. What he’s done, if he’s missing points, now it’s your turn to come back and say, “Okay, fine. I need to ask you just one more time. I just need one minute of silence on your part because I want to clarify something that I said that I think you misinterpreted.”? Okay? And then you go ahead and clarify it, okay? And then again, at the end of that you say to him, “Alright, now you’ve heard what I said now. Now you have an opportunity to tell me what you think you heard just so there’s no escaping the fact that we, as husband and wife, need to be on the same page. That’s one of the very practical ways I think a husband and wife can stay on the page. But realize you only stand a chance if you’re willing to shut your mouth and really listen to the other person.”

Narrow-minded, judgmental Christians. That’s how many people view Christ-followers. Often we do not convey God’s love, mercy and compassion as we ought. However, Christianity is not simply a set of “shoulds.” Why is Christianity unique among all world religions? Many people say, “Essentially, all religions are alike, with only minor differences. They all reach ‘love your neighbor, be good, don’t steal, don’t kill, don’t cheat, be kind and make the world a better place.’ Take Christianity, for instance. Christ taught that we should follow the Golden Rule by being kind to our neighbors. “So I say religion is like choosing a car. There are lots of models and makes, but they’re all designed to get you where you want to go. Whether it’s Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, or Christ, they all teach the same thing, they all go the same place…” God created man and woman for intimate fellowship with Him and with each other, but they rejected His fellowship and chose to rebel (sin). Subsequently, all have sinned, but God had determined to restore us to Himself. The plan called for Jesus, God the Son, to become the God-man and die on the cross, suffering the penalty of sin on our behalf. The plan was carried out and God’s righteous justice was satisfied. Now God is able to bring us into loving fellowship with Himself as His forgiven children. That’s the gospel; God reaching down to us, offering us a permanent connection with Himself through Christ. Religion, by contrast, is man’s attempt to reach God, an attempt that always fails. Many challengers of Christianity ignore the fact that Christ is the basis for Christianity. For example: I discovered that Christianity is based on the life, character, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, instead of learning that Christ came to teach Christianity, I realized that Christ is Christianity. Most other religions are based on philosophical propositions or theological ideologies. Remove the founding prophet or guru, and the religion remains essentially intact. 1. Mohammed Remove Mohammed from Islam, and Islam remains. Mohammed, being simply the communicator of Allah’s will, is not critically important to Islam; but what he communication about Allah and his will is all-important to that religion. In Islam, then, the message is far more important than the founding messenger. The teachings count for more than the teacher! 2. Buddha Remove Buddha, and Buddhism remains. Buddhism rests mainly on Buddha’s teachings, which instruct the faithful to lead a tranquil life through attainment of a disciplined state of mind. Buddha, himself, is not essential to the quest. 3. Confucius Remove Confucius, and Confucianism remains. Confucianism teaches philosophical concepts about wise behavior. It is a religion in which the identity of Confucius, its founder, is inconsequential. 4. Christ (No Christ – No Christianity) Remove Christ, however, and Christianity crumbles. The identity of Jesus is crucial to Christianity. Without Christ, Christianity would cease to exist, for it rests upon His claims to be the eternal Son of God, a claim attested to by the resurrection. Personal faith in Christ establishes a relationship with God, thereby distinguishing Christianity from all other religions. As a university student, I was challenged by a group of Christians to investigate the truthfulness of Christianity. Not long after I met these Christians, I learned something that altered my outlook on Christianity. I asked one of the students, “Tell me, what changed your life?” She said, “Jesus Christ.” I never thought I’d hear that in the university. I said, “Don’t feed me that garbage; I’m fed up with religion.” She shot back, “Josh, I didn’t say religion; I said the person of Jesus Christ.” My heart was touched. Her reply pointed our something I’d never known before – Christianity is not a religion; it’s an intimate relationship which God is offering men and women through his Son, Jesus Christ. I longed to know that intimacy, unconditional love and forgiveness. For further study, read: Genesis 3:8; Mark 3:14; 1 Corinthians 1:9; Hebrews 4:15; Revelation 3:20 www.josh.org

As a parent, have you ever had the feeling society is working against you in raising your children – particularly in regard to sexual matters? If you have, you might just be right. Let me begin by setting the stage with information from the 2014 National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy Survey which no doubt supports your desire for the very best for your children. The survey found: · Tremendous support among young adults (18 to 24-year-olds) for waiting longer to have sex. · Virginity is widely accepted and respected among young men and women, including those who have already had sex. · Pressure to have sex is common, but the pressure comes more from within than from others. · Many young adults want the media to show more and varied portrayals of those not having sex and they want the media to improve the way they portray young adults’ sex lives. The survey also found: · Most teenagers have not had sex. · Most sexually active teens wish they had waited. · Most young adults think it would help teenagers wait longer if they knew most of their peers are virgins. Note: All Aim For Success abstinence programs conclude with the following statement… MOST TEENAGERS HAVE NOT HAD SEX! BUT NOW . . . The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is encouraging pediatricians across the county and anyone else who will listen, to consider LARC as America’s first line of defense against teen pregnancy. If AAP has its way, the use of birth control pills and condoms for reducing teen pregnancies will soon be a thing of the past. So what is LARC ? It stands for Long-Acting Reversible Contraception which includes IUDs and Implants . Both provide a high degree of protection from pregnancy for up to three to ten years. Ironically, up until recently, IUDs were not considered safe for teenage girls, but now they are being touted as: Easy and Invisible Nothing to Remember Freedom for Girls Get It and Forget It Never Interrupt the Heat of Passion Again! In the September 24, 2014 issue of Pediatrics, AAP provided pediatricians with an eight page policy statement, Contraception for Adolescents, as a means to promote LARC and an instruction manual on how to talk to teenage patients about protecting themselves while having sex. The following is the information on avoiding sexual activity: “Counseling about abstinence and postponement of sexual intercourse is an important aspect of adolescent sexual health care. Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STIs and is an important part of contraceptive counseling. Adolescents should be encouraged to delay sexual onset until they are ready.” The remainder of the eight page policy is devoted to instructing pediatricians about the various forms of contraception along with details on how to work around those pesky parents who might interfere with their Child’s Confidentiality Rights . (Note: The policy states, “In the setting of contraception and sexual health care, American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) believes that policies supporting adolescent consent and protecting adolescent confidentiality are in the best interests of adolescents.”) This approach might be beneficial in lowering teen pregnancies in those teens with no parental involvement or support. But let’s face it, in your home where you are trying daily to help your children learn to make good decisions and build strong character in order to achieve the most from their lives, the ability to go behind your back under Child Confidentiality Rights and provide a message contrary to your values is anything but helpful. However, for those whose ultimate goal is to prevent teen pregnancy, this must seem like the long awaited silver bullet. But here’s a question to consider: With the Nothing to Remember mentality and the ability to circumvent parental involvement in issues pertaining to sexual health – what are the odds of a teenage girl returning to the doctor every year to get tested for STIs? Considering about half of the 20 million new STIs in America each year are contracted by 15 to 24 year olds and the fact that teenage girls are far more susceptible to STIs than anyone else, shouldn’t there be serious concerns about an upcoming rise in the teen STI epidemic? It’s also important to remember the only way to prevent STIs is for two people to remain faithfully committed to each other for life. However, the terms – “marriage”, “lifetime partner” or even “long-term relationship” are not a part the AAP’s policy. They do, however, explain that latex condoms reduce STI transmission. But then they go on to state, “Condoms require commitment at every sex act which tends to drop off over time.” If the concern of STIs is included in the equation of IUDs, and IUDs provide no protection against STIs, then the silver bullet is looking rather tarnished. The American College of Pediatricians (ACP) – not to be confused with AAP – weighed in on the controversy with the following statement: “Even when contraception is used, early sexual debut has been associated with negative consequences including multiple sexual partners, sexually transmitted infections, increased likelihood of psychological injury (feelings of regret, depression, suicidal attempts), greater substance abuse, and lower academic achievement. Delaying sexual activity, ideally until marriage, has been associated with improved emotional and physical health, higher achievement and a more stable marriage.” Dr. Den Trumbull, president of the American College of Pediatricians, went on to state, “Our primary message to adolescent patients must not be contraception, but rather the tremendous physical, psychological and even future marital benefits in delaying all sexual activity until after marriage. Anything less is a compromise.” We at Aim For Success believe your children consist of far more than a body filled with raging hormones. They have a brain, abilities and the potential for a bright future. They also have the ability to develop self-control, self-respect and self-discipline. The AAPs mentality of “not having sex until you’re ready” is nothing more than allowing hormones to dictate the outcome of your child’s life and hoping for the best. Aim For Success is committed to empowering teenagers to build strong character and to save themselves for one lifetime partner inside marriage. This lifestyle provides freedom from pregnancy before marriage, STIs and painful memories. It also paves the way for the freedom to enjoy fulfilled dreams and goals. All parents would be wise to have a conversation with your children’s health care provider to make sure your family values are not being compromised when the doctor closes the door and leaves you sitting outside. So with all this said, do me a big favor – keep reminding your teenagers of the previously mentioned survey that found: · Tremendous support among young adults (18 to 24-year-olds) for waiting longer to have sex. · Virginity is widely accepted and respected among young men and women, including those who have already had sex. · Pressure to have sex is common, but the pressure comes more from within than from others. · Many young adults want the media to show more and varied portrayals of those not having sex and they want the media to improve the way they portray young adults’ sex lives. The survey also found: · Most teenagers have not had sex. · Most sexually active teens wish they had waited. · Most young adults think it would help teenagers wait longer if they knew most of their peers are virgins. And don’t forget – All Aim For Success abstinence programs conclude with: MOST TEENAGERS HAVE NOT HAD SEX! References: http://thenationalcampaign.org/sites/default/files/resource-primary-download/virgin-territory-final.pdf http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2014/09/24/peds.2014-2299.full.pdf+html http://www.acpeds.org/promoting-the-myth-of-safe-sex

Just a few days after my husband’s passing, my phone rang. For the sake of protecting the guilty, let’s say the caller represented Shady Pines Old Folks Home. Me: “A personal care home? Is that one of those places where they cook your meals, clean your room, and even help you with bathing?” Shady: “It certainly is, Mrs. Clark. We can provide a wide range of services in your time of need.” Me: “Awesome. Sign me up.” My two college-age children wondered if grief had taken their mother’s sense of reason. It had not. Neither had it taken her sense of humor. Shady: “Alright Mrs. Clark, I need some more information from you, starting with your date of birth.” Me: “May 15, 1963.” Shady: “1963? Mrs. Clark, did you mean to say 63?” Me: “Sure did. I’m nifty at 50. . . Hello? You there?” And so began the long list of encounters with folks who had little understanding of widows and our needs. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, one-third of all women who become widowed are younger than age 60, and half of those widowed become so by age 65. In fact, seven out of ten baby boomers can expect to outlive their husbands. Here are nine things you need to know about the ever-increasing member of society, the widow: 1. A widow’s deepest pains last longer than a year. Immediately after a death, the church community is adept at responding with flowers or a casserole but far less gifted in maintaining a ministry to her long-term. Her experience can feel like major surgery—a radical amputation, to be specific. She may be numb for several months. After the cards and letters stop, the visits drop off, and friends return to their normal lives, her hardest work has just begun. 2. A grieving widow who lives alone may go several days without hearing another human voice, especially months after the initial funeral. Emails and text messages are good; however, phone calls and visits may be better. While this may not seem like the most efficient use of your time, efficiency and effectiveness are sometimes mutually exclusive. 3. A grieving widow’s pain is unique and volatile. What encourages one woman may be painfully unhelpful to another. Grief is like a virus that waxes and wanes with intensity. Emotional mine fields such as these may require intimate knowledge of the bereaved. A close friend might be better suited to visit than a newly hired pastor. Don’t confuse compassion for a church acquaintance with a call to take personal action. If you don’t know the widow well, allow one of her close friends to direct your ministry efforts. 4. A grieving widow is often physically and emotionally exhausted. Don’t call her late at night or early in the morning. Be patient if she is slow in responding to your acts of kindness. Graciously accept her “no thank you” when she says she’s not up to going to dinner. She isn’t refusing help or harboring bitterness. She may simply need rest. 5. A grieving widow loves her children. Watching her children suffer is a misery that compounds grief and one in which the body of Christ is uniquely suited to offer comfort. The day of my husband’s funeral, students from my children’s college (Covenant) drove more than four hours one-way just to be with my kids. The sight of several pews packed with young adults will forever stay with us. One of my son’s professors eats breakfast with my son nearly every Friday. Loving a widow’s children is loving the widow. 6. A grieving widow often feels second (or third) to everyone else. Months after my husband, Jim, died, an ice storm crippled our city. Power outages citywide and downed trees littered homes and businesses. The damage was so widespread that I couldn’t possibly ask church friends to leave their own homes to address mine. But leave they did. A tree had fallen through the roof of one church friend’s home, yet he and his dad headed first to my place. “I’m waiting on the insurance company to call me,” he said. “I can wait here working a chainsaw as easily as pace the floor there.” 7. A grieving widow’s life is not a tragedy but a gift. When she is ready, encourage her to serve. In many cases, the death of her spouse did not hamper her gifting. Quite the contrary, it is part of how God heals her. Don’t look at her through the lens of her loss, but rather chose to see God’s faithfulness as she deepens her trust in her Savior. 8. A grieving widow’s finances may dramatically change after the loss of the primary breadwinner. More than half of elderly widows now living in poverty were not poor before the death of their husbands. She may have life insurance policies, long-term savings plans, and family to lean on, yet still find her finances overwhelming. After my husband’s death, two of his friends—one an accountant, the other a senior bank vice president—helped me work out a budget based on my lower income level. And these two did not treat me like an obligation. Every time they left my home, a piece of my burden went with them. 9. God loves a grieving widow. He does not despise her tears nor shudder when she doubts her faith in the darkness. The widow knows much of Jacob’s wrestling with God. He walked with a limp the remainder of his earthly life, but gained a changed heart. A grieving widow needs gospel-drenched compassion and not pity. While compassion walks beside the bereaved, pity stands off at a safe distance. The day my husband collapsed, my boss—a physician and head of a busy community clinic—canceled his appointments immediately and came to the hospital. He looked after my in-laws with uncanny tenderness and prayed with them. When my children came in from out of town, he wrapped his arms around them both and shed tears as I told them their dad was not expected to survive. To offer compassion in any circumstance is to share in another’s suffering, and in so doing, we mirror the suffering of Christ on our behalf. Gaye Clark works as a cardiac nurse at University Hospital in Augusta, Georgia, and writes in her free time. She has two adult children, Anna and Nathan. Re-printed from Gospel Coalition. Used by permission.

I would like to introduce David Jenkins, Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries as a guest author of this powerful article. Read his insightful thoughts: Recently a new survey commissioned by a nonprofit organization called Proven Men Ministries and conducted by the Barna Group took a national representative sample of 388 self-identified Christian adult men. The statistics are alarming and paint a picture of the serious problem that is addiction to pornography. The statistics for Christian men between 18 and 30 years old are particularly striking: 77% look at pornography at least monthly 36% view pornography on a daily basis 32% admit being addicted to pornography (and another 12% think they may be) The statistics for middle-aged Christian men (ages 31 to 49) are no less disturbing: 77% looked at pornography while at work in the past three months 64% view pornography at least monthly 18% admit being addicted to pornography (and another 8% think they may be) Even married Christian men are falling prey to pornography and extramarital sexual affairs at alarming rates: 55% look at pornography at least monthly 35% had an extramarital sexual affair while married These statistics are alarming; in fact they can be downright discouraging. The porn addict lives in a world where they go through a cycle of feeling sorry for what they did, but never coming to see the horror and complete depravity of what they have done. The statistics, as I stated earlier, paint a disturbing picture. They demonstrate that we need to help porn addicts understand the seriousness of their sin, the nature of true biblical repentance, and turning away from sexual sin to Jesus Christ. 6 Ingredients of Repentance The great Puritan author, Thomas Watson, once said there are six ingredients for true repentance. 1. The first is sight of sin, whereby a person comes to himself (Luke 15:17) and clearly views his lifestyle as sinful. If we fail to see our own sin, we rarely, if ever, are motivated to repent. 2. The second ingredient for true repentance is sorrow for sin (Psalm 38:18). We need to feel the nails of the cross in our souls as we sin. Repentance includes both godly grief and holy agony (2 Corinthians 7:10). The fruit of repentance is revealed in genuine, anguishing sorrow over the offense itself, not just the consequences of it. Sorrow for sin is seen in the ongoing righteous actions it produces. True repentance lingers in the soul and not just on the lips. 3. The third ingredient is confession of sin. The humble sinner voluntarily passes judgment on himself as he sincerely admits to the specific sins of his heart. We must not relent of our confession until all of it is freely and fully admitted. We must pluck up any hidden root of sin within us. “Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit” (Deuteronomy 28:19). 4. The fourth ingredient for true repentance is shame for sin. The color of repentance is blushing red. Repentance causes a holy bashfulness. Ezra 9:6 says, “O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.” The repenting prodigal was so ashamed of his sin that he did not feel he deserved to be a son anymore (Luke 15:21). Sin makes us shamefully naked and deformed in God’s eyes and puts Christ to shame, the One who took the scorn of the cross on Himself. 5. The fifth ingredient in repentance is hatred of sin. We must hate our sin to the core. We hate sin more deeply when we love Jesus more fully. Repentance begins in the love of God and ends in the hatred of sin. True repentance loathes sin. 6. Finally, the sixth ingredient of repentance is the turning away from sin and returning to the Lord with all your heart (Joel 2:12). This turning from sin implies a notable change, “performing deeds in keeping with their repentance” (Acts 26:20). “Thus says the Lord God: Repent and turn away from your idols and turn away your faces from all your abominations” (Ezekiel 14:6). We are called to turn away from all our abominations, not just the obvious ones or the ones that create friction in others. The goal of repentance is not to manufacture peace among others with perfunctory repentance, but rather to turn to God wholly and completely. This repentance most importantly is not just a turning away from sin. It also necessarily involves a turning in “repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ” (Acts 20:21). Here is the joy that is found in repentance. “It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance” (Romans 2:4). We rejoice that Christ has done so much for us and continues to do for us. By understanding the seriousness of sin and biblical repentance, we can come to understand that there is hope and freedom for the captives. Jesus came to set the captives free. While we live in a world that is full of bad news, in the midst of the bad news of our sin there is hope and healing from sexual sin. Look to Jesus—He is the cure for sexual brokenness. Jesus is in the business of setting the captives free through His finished work. No matter your sexual history, Jesus alone can make you pure again. Turn to Him, and trust in Him. He is all you need.