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Why Men Hate Going to Church is a best-selling book by David Murrow, founder of www.churchformen.com . He offers invaluable information pastors and church leaders should digest. If we take Murrow’s work seriously (and we should), we will change the way we do church forever. Here are just a few statistics we should know: The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. [1] On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. [2] This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. [3] Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. [4] The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). [5] Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return. [6] More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. [7] Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to 9 women for every adult man in attendance. [8] Christian universities are becoming convents. The typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every 1 man. [9] Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. [10] Church is good for men: Churchgoers are more likely to be married and express a higher level of satisfaction with life. Church involvement is the most important predictor of marital stability and happiness. [11] Church involvement moves people out of poverty. Its also correlated with less depression, more self-esteem and greater family and marital happiness. [12] Religious participation leads men to become more engaged husbands and fathers. [13] Teens with religious fathers are more likely to say they enjoy spending time with dad and that they admire him. [14] And men are good for the church: A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of involved men was statistically correlated with church growth, health, and harmony. Meanwhile, a lack of male participation is strongly associated with congregational decline. [15] FOOTNOTES: [1] “U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003, < www.uscongregations.org/key.htm >. [2] This statistic comes from Barna’s figures on male/female worship attendance, overlayed upon the Census 2000 numbers for adult men and women in the U.S. population. [3] I came up with this figure by taking the U.S. Census 2000 numbers for total married adults and overlaying Barna Research’s year 2000 percentages of male vs. female attendance at weekly worship services. The figures suggest at least 24.5 million married women attend church on a given weekend, but only 19 million married men attend. That’s 5.5 million more women, or 22.5%. The actual number may be even higher, because married people attend church in much greater numbers than singles. [4] Barna Research Online, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America,” 6 March 2000, < www.barna.org >. [5] Ibid. [6] “LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 22 Year Olds Drop Out of Church,” PowerPoint presentation accompanying study, available at the LifeWay Web site, http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0,1703,A=165949&M=200906,00.html , accessed 12 September 2007. [7] Barna, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America.” [8] I get an e-mail message about once a month from a pastor overseas whose congregation is almost totally female. [9] Camerin Courtney, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Christianity Today, Single Minded. View at http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind40630.html . [10] Based on a show of hands at the National Coalition of Men’s Ministries meeting in 2005. The consensus in the room among hundreds of men’s ministry experts was that less than 10% of congregations had any ongoing ministry to men. Compare this to the 110% of churches that offer women’s and children’s ministries. [11, 12] “Why Religion Matters: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability ,” The Heritage Foundation Backgrounder, 1064, 25 January 1996,  < www.heritage.org >. [13] Penny Edgell (Becker) and Heather Hofmeister, “Work, Family and Religious Involvement for Men and Women,” Hartford Institute for Religion Research, < http://hirr.hartsem.edu >. [14] Christian Smith and Phillip Kim, “Religious Youth Are More Likely to Have Positive Relationships with Their Fathers,” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 12 July 2002, findings based on the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1997). [15] C. Kirk Hadaway, FACTs on Growth: A new look at the dynamics of growth and decline in American congregations based on the Faith Communities Today 2005 national survey of Congregations. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, http://hirr.hartsem.edu . Read Why Men Hate Going to Church , David Murrow, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005, or to book David for a conference, visit www.churchformen.com

I have learned that my faith in Christ is an intelligent faith. It is based on the weight of the evidence. This brings my mind and my heart into harmony, for I trust Christ with my whole mind, will, and emotions. Intelligent faith provides meaning and purpose for my everyday circumstances, for I see how they fit into God’s plan for my life. That intelligent faith enables me to apply truth to my life, knowing that everyday circumstances can be God’s tools for making me become like Him. Faith reveals God’s purpose for me.   The man without God says: “You and I control our own destiny. God expects us to make things happen. Faith may give you peace and the freedom to find meaning for yourself, but remember, faith is a private matter. The important thing is for each person to determine his own purpose in life, hoping in some way to leave a lasting impression on the world…”   But God invites us to ask, seek, and knock. This requires the use of our minds, for He wants to share with us His intimate secrets so that we may relate truth to our everyday living.   1. Understanding requires application   Understanding takes place when we know how to apply truth correctly. Simply knowing a truth or principle without applying it with the hearts is not satisfactory.   “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good life, his deeds performed in the gentleness of wisdom” ( James 3:13 ).   “And the one on whom sees was sown on the good ground, this is the man who hears the Word and understands it; who indeed produces a crop, and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty” ( Matthew 13:23 ).   Intelligent faith unites the intellectual evaluation of truth and inward perception of the heart with its application to our lives. We glorify God when our faith results in the mind and heart joining together to produce godly behavior.   2. Understanding requires association.   In some of the richest language of Scripture, Paul emphasizes that the key to understanding is knowing Christ.   “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…” ( Philippians 3:8 ).   “…That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death…” ( Philippians 3:10 ).   Understanding with our hearts and minds how truth applies depends upon our knowing Christ well. As believers, our hope is founded upon the intimacy of our relationship with Christ.   3. Understanding requires examination.   The early church leaders frequently urged believers to evaluate intelligently any doctrine they received. They gave their converts solid criteria for judging doctrine ( 2 Corinthians 11:4-15 ; Galatians 1:6-9 ).   A stimulating challenge to us, as believers, is the example of the Bereans. Pail and Silas preached the gospel to the Bereans, who didn’t just accept this new doctrine blindly. ( Acts 17:10-15 ).   The Bereans were not about to accept something just because missionaries in sandals came along and taught it! The Apostle Paul did not discourage their open-minded search by saying, “Just believe.” Examining the Scriptures to understand how to apply God’s truth to our own lives is the only sure way of establishing a solid foundation for our faith.   II. Intelligent faith provides purpose ( Romans 8:28-39 ).   Faith is the assurance of the heart, resting in the adequacy of the evidence.   Certainty about God’s control comes when I intelligently submit, surrender, rest in, acknowledge and accept His work in my life. This creates a deep conviction that God does have a plan for me to follow. I am a person of destiny!   God, who is in control of the events of every believer’s life, focuses even apparently meaningless events into one meaningful purpose. His plan is to make us like His Son Jesus. He is at work in each experience and circumstance to give us the opportunity to trust intelligently in His control. And while God does not will adverse conditions or circumstances upon us, He is able to use them to achieve the goals of making us more like Christ.   Intelligently understanding the basis of my faith leads to a deeper understanding of God’s purpose for every circumstance I face. He does not want me to accept blindly what comes; rather; He delights in my humble search to know Him and His plan for me. When I acknowledge and submit to His sovereign control, I discover how He uses my present circumstances to create in me the family likeness of His Son. He wishes to use even mundane events as opportunities for me to trust in His control.

A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. “The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.” One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if I had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. The president called all of the executives into the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful—in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him! When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!” All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!” When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed. “How could he be the new CEO?” the others said. Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow. So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!” ·      If you plant honesty, you will reap trust ·      If you plant goodness, you will reap friends ·      If you plant humility, you will reap greatness ·      If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment ·      If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective ·      If you plant hard work, you will reap success   Think about this for a minute….   If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care? If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come? If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day? If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?  This is a test to see who your real friends are or if you are just someone to talk to. Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes? They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together, and they sleep together, but they never see each other; ….that’s what friendship is.. Your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it!

Angels are spiritual beings, usually invisible, although they can take on human forms. We learn in Isaiah 6 and Ezekiel 10 there are different types of angels.  Angels serve as messengers.  Angels serve as protectors.  And you don’t know when you might encounter one.  But they are not to be prayed to.   Hebrews 13:2 reads: “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”   Twenty-two years ago the Southeast Church bus was out in the middle of nowhere on the WK Parkway, bringing about 25 kids back from church camp.  That night the steering column malfunctioned and the bus was going about 60 mph when it wrecked in a ditch.  About five or six kids had to be taken to the hospital but fortunately there were no life-threatening injuries.   But right after the wreck, there was a man who helped the kids get out of the bus and tried to comfort them and encourage them during those frightening moments while some were still in shock.  Later, as they compared notes, they realized that many of them had the same story: they had come in contact with this same calming and helpful man (he was wearing a cap), but what was strange to those who had been comforted by him, was that no one saw him come on the scene, nor did anyone see him leave.  At that stage, when it initially happened out in the middle of nowhere, there was no other vehicle on the scene as he helped the kids off of the bus.  Now was that an angel?  Could be…or it could have been a very unusual coincidence when that exact moment a man was out walking along the edge of acres of farmland with no house in sight.    Matthew 18:10 is where the concept of guardian angels for kids originated. Jesus says: “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones.  For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”   These angels aren’t to be prayed to—only God is worthy of our prayers.  And while I would guess that most of those are unseen beings, obviously some are visible or else the Hebrew writer wouldn’t say that, at times, we’ve been unaware that we have been socializing and greeting angels.   Evidently, angel appearances are quite rare.  Throughout the entire time period of the Bible, spanning some thousands of years, an angel appears only a dozen times or so.  So on Monday don’t expect a divine apparition to show up at your cubicle!   Angels typically were delivering some type of a message.  They are trying to convey God’s plan for a situation in which they find themselves.  At Christmas, we see angels everywhere—on front lawns, in nativity sets, in children’s plays, and in malls (though you probably won’t see a lot of angels in the parking lots of malls!), but you will see figurines.  Here’s what I’m hoping…I’m hoping that whenever you see an angel you will immediately think: God is at work—unfolding His plan .   We look at life as though we’re looking at the backside of a tapestry.  Every thread looks jumbled up and it has no meaning.  But God sees our lives from the correct side – the eternal side – and from his vantage point every thread has a purpose.  The tapestry was woven together so that when it was completed, from one side it would make sense and it would be beautiful.   Throughout Biblical times and even today there are plenty of moments when we aren’t sure why things happen the way they do.  In some of those rare occurrences God allowed angels to clarify His plan to help with the process.  You see, angels are images of providence.

At the Global:Church Forum, Michael Ramsden of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries discussed how the global Church is changing. In Luke 14:12-33, Luke relates Jesus’ parable: “He said also to the man who had invited him, ‘When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers[b] or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.’ When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!” But he said to him, “A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant[c] to say to those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to examine them. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ So the servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.’ And the servant said, ‘Sir, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.’ And the master said to the servant, ‘Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you,[d] none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet.’” Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” What happens at the end of the world? There will be judgment. There will be a new heaven and a new earth. And western cultures say, “Oh, and there is going to be a banquet!” But what type of banquet? A wedding banquet. And whose wedding is it? Partly ours. What does it mean to be betrothed? Think of the anticipation. Yet I find it interesting that we often struggle to live as though we are the bride of Christ. Most people in affluent cultures, find themselves having to constantly increase the pace and volume of consumption in order to maintain the same level of enjoyment. This cycle is called the Hedonic treadmill. Research shows that consumers consistently make self-defeating choices. Now in Jesus’ parable about the wedding banquet, the servant is not inviting people to the banquet when he goes out. The invitations have already been sent out and accepted. When the servant goes out, he is merely ringing the dinner bell. But everyone made excuses. The first 2 excuses are commercial in nature, and we understand how people get caught up in money. This is what happens with the affluent. But the third excuse causes a lot of Westerner’s problems. The third excuse is a man saying, “I have a women at home, and I would much rather be doing something with her than you. The is not an affluent excuse but a sexual one. The modern era has become too focused on viewing men and women as sexual objects. We live in e that tells women that they are empowered if they act as sexual objects. How is that progress? In the Western world, sexual desire was driven by a sense of spiritual connection. In India, sex has been long thought of as a mystical connection. But today sex is increasingly viewed as a product to consume. Pornography is rampant. And we increasingly think of ourselves as animals. Slavery reduces people to objects rather than people. Pornography treats people as objects. Sin dehumanizes us. It makes us less human than we actually are. When we treat people as objects, we lose our way. Is it even possible that today’s Christians treat God as an object that is to be consumed? One U.S. government analyst said, “Hypocrisy is the new unforgivable global sin.” When you marry objectifying people and unhealthy consumption with our integrity, what do you have? In Jesus’ parable of the wedding banquet, people had an invitation that they ultimately rejected, so the servant went out and evangelized. The servant sought out who would come. The servant compelled people. He must be compelling. If you do not pick up your cross and forsake all you have, you cannot be Christ’s disciple. That statement cannot be compelling unless God’s servants live it. The trouble is we are trying to teach morals of discipleship that do not demand everything. Even some churches treat people as objects that give them money. Don’t ignore the people in the trenches that are laying down their lives. We have arm chair quarterbacks that are ignoring the pleas of help from those in the trenches as well as their feedback on how to do things better. I’ve known people that would not fund a ministry initiative because they are afraid people will be martyred. But I wouldn’t fund ministry by people who weren’t willing to lay down their lives. Salt that has lost its saltiness is worthless. If the impurities in salt reach a certain level, it will be thrown out and trampled underfoot. Poor areas of the world are modeling out an incredible spiritual richness. So since we are in the West, it is not just enough to learn from the theology of the Church of the South and the East. What we need to do is learn from those who are persecuted and willing to die yet keep growing in their passion for Christ. If as a Church we are willing to pay the cost that the majority of the Church is paying, you will be scared at times, but you will also be more effective. Affluent cultures are born by sacrifice. When we are poor, we mistake scarcity for spiritual discipline. But when affluence comes and scarcity becomes scarce then peoples lives are destroyed if they lack discipline. The trouble is that in the West, we have been affluent for a very long time. The types of disciplines that we need have been gone for a very long time. God has a habit of humbling people who trust in themselves. The goal of life isn’t to live as long as possible but to live a life that is obedient to Him. That is the only life worth living. I think the models of discipleship we have in the West (1) move too slowly, (2) expect to little, (3) promise too much, and (4) expect quick maturity. www.churchrelevance.com . Used by permission.

She sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee and check her e-mail on her iPad. Trying to find a website she visited the day before, she opened the browser’s history. Instead, what she found completely shocked her. One after the other, a list of sexually explicit titles appeared in the history log. Page after page, the raunchy titles continued. Slightly panicked, but paying careful attention to the details, she noticed these sites were all accessed in the afternoon the day before. Her husband had been at work then. Wasn’t him. Then she remembered letting her 10-year-old son borrow the iPad to play some games. Reality sank in. From what she could tell, her son had spent at least an hour or so glancing through these pages. The question that plagued her was: What should she do now? A Parental Nightmare Many parents today feel like they are playing catch up when it comes to educating their kids about sex. It seems our sex-saturated world is getting the first word in too fast—and our kids are growing up too fast. When a Christian parent discovers that their child or teenager has been looking at pornography, to some this can seem like a small nightmare. How can parents approach this topic with tact and love? More importantly, what prevents parents from having this discussion, even when they know there is a problem? 1. Because parents are uncomfortable talking about sex The first big reason parents don’t like the idea of talking about porn is because the idea of talking about anything sexual with their child bothers them. Porn touches on all the things about sex that seem like awkward topics: different body parts and what they do, the pleasure of orgasm, not to mention all the sexual variety porn portrays. If sexual topics are uncomfortable, the topic of porn is way out in left field. 2. Because they believe a little porn is nothing to worry about A child discovering his or her own sexual desires is as natural as the day is long. Our children are sexual beings. Parents often look back to their own childhood, how they clumsily figured out their own sexual feelings, and say to themselves, “Looking at a little porn won’t hurt anything. They’re going to see it anyway, right? I’ll just keep tabs on things. No need to make a big deal out of this. 3. Because they don’t have a good theology of sex It is one thing to be uncomfortable talking about sex with a child or teenager. But for many parents it goes beyond comfort to confusion: they simply don’t know what they would say about porn or sex. They would have a hard time coming up with words that give their children a foundational understanding of why God created sex, why God created it to be so pleasurable, and why porn is a problem. 4. Because they are afraid they will awaken sexual curiosity too early For many parents, the question of timing is the biggest concern. How early is too early? How late is too late? If they err, they would rather err on the side of silence. They don’t want to awaken undue sexual desire in their child too soon. What if they say something about sex and want to find pictures of it online—or worse yet, try it with someone? Many parents want to wait until they are absolutely sure the time is right. 5. Because they’ve never seen it done before Many parents know that talking to their kids about sex is a good idea, but some are paralyzed by the fear of “doing it wrong.” No one ever talked to them about sex when they were kids (aside from maybe a discussion about anatomy). The thought of a parent-child relationship that freely and naturally discusses sexual topics is about a foreign to them as Greek or Swahili. Shattering the Fears Five facts demolish these five fears: 1. You may be uncomfortable talking about sex, but you are the person most equipped in your child’s life to converse with them about it. No one knows your child like you do. 2. A little porn can do a lot of damage. Porn is the worst kind of sexual education a child can get, and the more they see, the more their sexual beliefs will be shaped by it. 3. You may not feel like you have a good “theology of sex,” but there’s never been a time in history easier to learn. Countless resources are available to parents today. 4. If your child/teen has been exposed to porn, it has already provoked a curiosity about sexual matters. This is not the time to hold back because you are afraid of speaking too soon. Your son or daughter needs your wisdom, not your silence. “Too much too soon” is a rare circumstance in today’s world. 5. You do not need to see this done in person to do it well. Glean from those who’ve done it before. To help you along with this, you can download this free step-by-step discussion guide, When Your Child is Looking at Porn. Don’t let inexperience or ignorance be an excuse anymore. www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

Church leaders want to be good stewards of what is entrusted to them, but each generation has struggled to find an appropriate way to measure their effectiveness. Businesses measure return on investment (ROI), but measuring return on ministry investment (ROM) is much trickier. Here’s a few reasons why: The Inputs Healthy ministry takes more than money and heavily relies on a mix of time, money, talent, and obedience to the Holy Spirit and God’s Word. These inputs are a difficult mix to quantify. The Results Even trickier is attempting to measure spiritual fruit – authentic conversions, maturing believers, discipleship, accountability, right heart attitudes, purity, and biblical obedience. God’s Economy What is the most effective thing in ministry doesn’t always make rational sense. After all, God likes to use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). While it is good to be strategic and make wise choices in ministry, we must always be sensitive and obedient to leadings from the Holy Spirit. In other words, we must be willing to throw out our plans and programs and follow the Holy Spirit when He guides differently. Sometimes healthy and obedient ministry is reaching thousands of people, and sometimes it is spending 40 years to win one convert. What matters is obedience. Reality is it’s impossible to measure ministry effectiveness with man-made metrics. There will always be some mystique to the way God works and what He truly defines as effective. So how do churches measure their effectiveness? While there will never be a perfect formula, churches have found supplemental metrics by counting attendance, finances, commitments to Christ, baptisms, small group participants, and volunteers. While not direct indicators, these metrics can be good hints as to a ministry’s health. Some church leaders have borrowed tools from the business world, such as Harvard Business School’s Balanced Scorecard (BSC) for performance management. Nonprofits and businesses have been using the Balanced Scorecard for two decades to: Align efforts with the organization’s vision and strategy Improve communication internally and externally Help prioritize programs and projects Evaluate performance against strategic goals Free Ebook Ministry consultant Eric Soon has tweaked the Balanced Scorecard to better fit churches’ needs, and ACTIVE Faith is offering a free whitepaper – “Excellence in Ministry: Balanced Scorecard” – as a great introduction to using the BSC in ministry. If your ministry is healthy and built on a strong foundation of prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit, then tools like the Ministry Balanced Scorecard can be a wonderful complement to your ministry and produce greater stewardship as long as you use it within the framework of your unique calling. Church Relevance, Used by Permission of Kent Shaffer. 2013. Special thanks to ACTIVE Faith for supporting Church Relevance by sponsoring this post.

Many church leaders are aware that pornography is a massive problem among Christians. According to some surveys, it is one of the most confessed sins and is deemed by church leaders nationally to be the most sexually damaging problem in their churches. Porn use starts young: over half of boys and nearly a third of girls see porn before their teenage years. In these tender years when sexual beliefs are still forming, pornography serves as a powerful kind of sex education—the wrong kind of sex education. Parents are the Key Parents have always been and always will be the best defense. Not only do they have the ability to put up fences to protect against exposure to porn, but they are the ones responsible for teaching their children about authentic and godly sexuality. Find good training tools Parents need good instruction about the prevalence of pornography, its impact on children, and how to counter the false messages of our over-sexualized culture. Many church leaders are starting to use resources like UNFILTERED, a DVD workshop for parents. This workshop offers parents both a spiritual and psychological understanding of why pornography is so damaging, and gives them the rules and tools they can use in their homes to combat it. Incorporate training into existing meetings Many churches offer classes or groups for parents. Church often have Sunday School programs for different ages and stages of parenting. Churches that offer catechism or confirmation programs often will have a “parents’ track.” Many churches have small groups, formal and informal, of parents doing life together. The best way to implement a curriculum like UNFILTERED is to simply integrate it into these existing groups. Churches that try to host a special event—something that advertises itself as a “porn workshop” for parents—might be attended by some concerned parents, but probably won’t be widely attended. Instead of hosting a special event, choose to integrate this training into what parents already attend. Help parents see the big goal Ultimately, parents will not be the protectors of their children forever. Kids grow up and become young adults. The big goal parents should have when thinking of protecting their children from porn is preparing them to live in a world without fences, without filters, without guardrails. The goal is to teach kids to become their own watchdogs, and this is the goal of UNFILTERED as well: to train parents to teach their children discernment and wisdom. www.covenanteyes.com . Used by permission.

Internet Pornography: A Ministry Leader’s Handbook —This free e-book, written by pastors and counselors, helps ministers who struggle with pornography understand the importance of confession and accountability. It addresses why pastors are particularly vulnerable to pornographic temptations and what should be done to bring this truth into the light. 10 Stories of Pastors in the Struggle — Read, watch, and listen to the stories of pastors who have struggled deeply with porn and sex addiction and how God set them free. PornToPurity.com — Jeff and Marsha Fisher were church planters until Jeff’s porn addiction came to light. After he was removed from church leadership and found help in overcoming his sin, he started PornToPurity.com, a website for anyone trapped in sexual temptations. Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle , by Michael John Cusick — Michael was sexually abused and exposed to pornography as a child. Later in life, serving as both a youth pastor and a counselor at a Christian university, his sexual struggles only became more acute with porn and prostitutes. This book talks about what he learned in the midst of recovery Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction, by T.C. Ryan — Pastor Ryan had a lifelong struggle with sexual addiction and secrecy. This book shares his story of learning to let the gospel of Christ transform him into a man who can be open, honest, and unashamed before God and his Christian family. Breaking the Silence: A Pastor Goes Public About His Battle with Pornography , by Bernie Anderson — Bernie Anderson battled behind closed doors with pornography for years. In this book, Anderson tells his personal story of struggle and how God changed his life, giving practical tips to protect yourself and your family. My Struggle, Your Struggle, by David Erik Jones — Pastor Jones struggled with porn as a pastor. This book is his personal story of porn addiction that lasted 20 years and how he found freedom while serving in the ministry. Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough, by Justin and Trisha Davis — Justin didn’t just struggle with porn. As a pastor, he also began an affair with another church staff member. This book shares Justin and Trisha’s story and how their marriage recovered. The Pornography Trap , by Dr. Mark Laaser and Ralph Earl, Jr. — This book addresses what should be done when ministry leaders (pastors, deacons, choir directors, Sunday school teachers, etc.) struggle with Internet pornography. The authors share the core issues related to sexual sin and how to develop a biblical view of healthy sexuality. Restoring the Soul of a Church, edited by Dr. Mark Laaser — This book from the The Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute describes the devastation that can happen to a church congregation when a pastor sexually sins and is removed from the church. It gives insight about the neglected secondary victims of abuse: the congregation, the wider community, other clergy, the wider church, the offender’s family, and the pastor who takes over. Stone Gate Resources — Dr. Harry Schaumburg has been counseling Christian men and women about sexual and relational brokenness for years—with a special emphasis on caring for pastors and ministry leaders caught in sexual sin. His intensive counseling is known around the world as one of the best for sexual addiction. ThrivingPastor.org — This is a ministry of Focus on the Family for pastors, including a pastoral care line for ministers who need to speak with a trained counselor. 8 Resources for Ministry Leaders Who Want to Equip Their Church Porn-Free Church: Raising up gospel communities to destroy secret sins — This free e-book is for church leaders who want to create a safe community where taboo sins can be confessed and people can find healing. False Love and True Betrayal — This video series by Summit Church is designed for small groups or recovery groups focused on the pain caused by sexual sin. False Love walks men and women who struggle with sexual sin through a step-by-step process of repentance and restoration. True Betrayal walks spouses of sexual strugglers through the same process as they overcome the pain of sexual betrayal. Pornography Statistics: Annual Report — This conglomeration of more than 250 stats, quotes, and facts about pornography can help any pastor preparing to teach others about this subject. A Bird’s Eye View of Lust and Pornography — This free sermon series can give pastors a place to start for talking with their congregations about pornography in a way that is biblically sound and practically helpful. Fight Porn in Your Church: What works and why it matters — This free white paper from Covenant Eyes looks at how real churches are addressing the issue of pornography and gives practical ideas for programs churches can implement today. Confessing Sin: How Matt Chandler preaches a culture of grace — Matt Chandler of Village Church understand that church leader set the pace when it comes to being open about sin. In this sermon clip , Chandler talks about not being afraid to be honest about sin and being vigilant to fight it. The Quick Reference Guide to Sexuality & Relationship Counseling, by Dr. Mark Laaser and Dr. Tim Clinton — This book gives pastors, counselors, and everyday believers the information they need to help congregants, clients, and friends with their most intimate sexual and relational issues. Join1MillionMen.org — This movement, spearheaded by Pastor Jay Dennis, is equipping church leaders nationwide to bring the issue of pornography into the light where church members can find help and healing. Reprinted from Covenant Eyes. Luke Gilkerson. Used by permission.

To my fellow humans who are entering that most precarious stage of human development. Let me begin by congratulating you on making it through the embryonic stage. Too many of our fellow humans don’t even make it as far as you have now. Many died of natural causes. Others were cut down prior to implantation by an abortifacient. Still others are trapped in the freezers of IVF clinics, in suspended animation awaiting their fate. You have made it to the second stage of life. But you’re not out of the woods, as they say, until you’re out of the womb. In America there are roughly 250 abortions for every 1,000 live births, which means that you have (all other things being equal) a one in five chance of still being aborted. Here are four reasons you might be aborted and what you can do to avoid this gruesome fate. #1. Don’t be the unlucky third in series of IVF induced triplets Many couples who are unable to have a child naturally because of infertility are willing to pay a high price (between $10,000 – $20,000) in order to bring a child into this world. However, some are a bit more cost conscious, and are willing to pay an extra cost in human life rather than in dollars. To save money on in vitro fertilization, couples can implant several embryos at one time in order to increase the changes of pregnancy and reduce the cost of multiple procedures. Although it lowers the cost, it increases the chances of multiple pregnancies, which increase the risks to both mother and children. As the Washington Post noted several years ago, “Carrying three babies to term would more than double the woman’s risk of developing the most severe diseases of pregnancy, such as preeclampsia. The average triplet is born two months premature, significantly raising the risk of disabilities such as cerebral palsy and of lifelong damage to the infant’s lungs, eyes, brain and other organs.” Unlike embryos, money can’t be created in a Petri dish. Which is why it is less costly (in economic if not in human terms) to just kill you rather than pay for another round of IVF. They euphemistically refer to this as “selective reduction”— your parents have selected to reduce your chances for survival to zero. If you find yourself bumping into other siblings in the womb, you might hear a conversation similar to this one: “Triplets,” [Sonographer Rachel] Greenbaum said. “So they tell me,” the woman said, her voice hollow. And, sure enough, on Greenbaum’s screen were three little honeycombed chambers with three fetuses growing in them. The fetuses were moving and waving their limbs; even at this point, approaching 12 weeks of gestation, they were clearly human, at that big-headed-could-be-an-alien-but-definitely-not-a-kitten stage of development. Evans has found this to be the best window of time in which to perform a reduction. Waiting that long provides time to see whether the pregnancy might reduce itself naturally through miscarriage, and lets the fetuses develop to the point where genetic testing can be done to see which are chromosomally normal. Which leads us to step #2 for how to stay alive until birth: #2 Don’t be anything other than “chromosomally normal” May our Lord have mercy on your poor fetal soul if you have the misfortune to possess a chromosomal abnormality. Once you make it out of the womb you can be filled to the brim with bile — indeed you can rape, pillage, plunder, and murder — and you’ll have people defending your right to live. But right now if they measure the fluid behind your neck using a nuchal scan and discover you have too much— well, you’re as good as dead. Such a test reveals that you may have the unforgivable condition of Down syndrome. Down syndrome itself is not an inherently fatal condition. Indeed, many children with this condition grow to become loving, sweet-natured, and gentle children. Such behavior, however, merely confirms that these children are freaks of nature since “normal” children do not act that way. Therefore, society has decided that it is better for you to be put to death rather than for us to have to suffer the cost and inconvenience of having to love such seemingly imperfect humans. Nothing turns our American hearts to stone faster than seeing the cheerful smile on a “mongoloid” visage. It’s a horror that we cannot tolerate. #3 Don’t be a girl Speaking of chromosomes, be sure you have a Y chromosome to go along with the X. If you have the misfortune of being of the homogametic sex you have an increased risk of being killed. It may not be a concern if your parents are white, black, or Hispanic. But if you’re parents are Chinese, Japanese, Indian, or Filipino you may be in trouble. Of course, just because the sex ratio at birth for Asian Americans is biologically impossible does not mean that they are aborting baby girls. There may be some other reasonable, morally unobjectionable explanation for this unnatural phenomenon. Still, you’ll be better off playing it safe and getting that X chromosome. #4 Don’t squint Several years ago in England, doctors were given permission to create a baby free from a genetic disorder which would have caused the child to have a severe squint. According to the Daily Telegraph, the license was granted by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) to Prof Gedis Grudzinskas. The good professor said he would seek to screen for any genetic factor at all that would cause a family severe distress. When asked if he would screen embryos for factors like hair colour, he said: “If there is a cosmetic aspect to an individual case I would assess it on its merits. “[Hair colour] can be a cause of bullying which can lead to suicide. With the agreement of the HFEA, I would do it. “If a parent suffered from asthma, and it was possible to detect the genetic factor for this, I would do it. “It all depends on the family’s distress.” The good news is that this is not England, where doctors are granted a “license to kill” anyone who might end up looking like Clint Eastwood. The bad news is that this is America. Here a doctor can abort you for any reason at all. We believe in being pro-choice, which means that we respect a mother’s choice to kill you for cosmetic or other eugenic reasons. Therefore, you need to play it safe: when you hear the whirring of the sonogram machine, keep your eyes wide open. There are other things that would increase your chances of making it through gestation. For example, if you are in the womb of a white 27-year old happily married Catholic woman who has never had an abortion and has a household income of $60,000+ a year, you are fairly safe. Unfortunately, while your parents can choose you — even choose to kill you — you can’t choose your parents. Your best hope is to pray and hope that others are praying for you too. With any luck you’ll survive the fetal stage of development and move on to infancy, adolescence, and adulthood. Once you reach this stage of life you’ll be able to join other Americans in exercising one of our most cherished and incontrovertible rights: the right to kill a fetus for any reason you choose. Re-printed from the Gospel Coalition Blog. Used by permission. Other posts in this series: Why Christians should care about bioethics How Christians should think about bioethics 38 ways to make a baby Eleventh Week Eugenics: On killing children with Down syndrome Still in the world Further Learning Learn more about: Life, Abortion, Science, Bioethics,

READ JOHN 12: 20-32 There are two words in the Greek language that could be translated as Greeks – Hellenistoi and Hellenes. Both refer to Greek affiliation. John uses here the latter word. The difference between the words is usually understood as the following: Hellenistoi is used for Greek-behaving people, like Greek-speaking Jews (Hellenized Jews); while the second word refers to ethnic Greeks (in this case probably the Greek God-fearers that we meet in the book of Acts). However, in John’s Gospel, we are faced with an interesting dilemma. John does not seem to use hoi Ioudaioi (usually translated as the Jews) as others use it. He has his own use that is particular to his Gospel, given his unique audience and situation. (The use of hoi Ioudaioi meant something to his audience that it does not mean to others). NOTE: To read posts on all previous chapters of John, please, click “The Jewish-Samaritan Journey” banner that appears on the right bar. Thinking along the same lines it is entirely possible that John has his own use of Hellenes as well. Whereas others use the term Hellenes for ethnic Greeks, John may be using it in a different way. But this of course is only a possibility. The burden of proof is upon those who would like to argue that these were Hellenized Jews and not God-fearing Greeks. We must however think of both possibilities with the first still being the most probable one. Whether Hellenized Jews are in view or Greeks God-fearers (probable version), who were seeking out Jewish religious leader for a meeting, Jesus’ following had reached the farthest corner of Jewish influence! (If one looks at the Israelite umbrella of various Jewish movements, the Gentile God-fearers who had not fully joined Jewish community, but in many ways affiliated themselves, can be viewed as occupying the furthest corner of Jewish communal influence.) Now that Jesus has followers not only in Judea, Galilee, Samaria, but also in the Diaspora he declares that the time for the Son of Man to be glorified has finally come (something that he denied number of times before). 24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. What is very intriguing here is that the Gospel does not tell us if Jesus actually met with the Greeks. Instead the author switches his emphasis to the words of Jesus where he spoke of his coming death and sacrifice. It is likely that Greeks were invited in; and what comes in the following verses may constitute a summary of that conversation. Jesus’ point is simple. Unless he dies, his ministry will not bear much fruit. Those who sanctify God’s name might also be required to die with him, but his Father will honor them. NOTE: You can sign up for research updates (if you don’t get them already) on any page of this site or invite your friends to do so by typing into the box their email address (http://JewishStudies.eteacherbiblical.com) “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name.” The words of Jesus speak deeply of his full humanity. It is not natural for a human being to want to suffer and die. Jesus, understanding the core of his mission, is willing to do so. Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that stood there and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” 30 Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not mine. The connection between God’s voice and thunder is important here. We read in Ex.19:16-19: “16 On the morning of the third day there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud on the mountain and a very loud trumpet blast, so that all the people in the camp trembled. 17 Then Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet God, and they took their stand at the foot of the mountain. 18 Now Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke because the Lord had descended on it in fire. The smoke of it went up like the smoke of a kiln, and the whole mountain trembled greatly. 19 And as the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him in thunder.” The voice of God in speaking of the glorification of Jesus is, therefore, set in the same glorious context. 31 Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. As I discussed in the previous section, while it is traditional to assume that the ruler of this world is Satan, the enemy of God’s purposes on this earth, it is also possible (though this is only a possibility) that a particular evil leader of the hoi Ioudaioi in fact was in view instead. The Qumran community speaks of a wicked priest as a towering evil figure in the Qumranic imagination. While one cannot simply draw quick conclusions, we are justified however in entertaining the possibility of such a figure. It is noteworthy that every known case of persecution against Jesus and the Jerusalem believers in Jesus, especially their leaders, “was taken when the reigning high priest was one of those who belonged to the powerful Sadducean family of Annas.” Caiaphas, Annas’ son-in-law condemned both Jesus and Stephen. James the Son of Zebedee was executed and Peter was arrested by Agrippa I; while Matthias, son of Annas, was probably a priest. In Acts 12:3 we are told that the king was motivated to gain the favor with “the Jews,” that is to “placate the high priest Mathias and his family” since some time before Agrippa had humiliated Annas’ family by deposing Theophilus, brother of Mathias. Another son of Annas, Ananus II, put James to death taking advantage of being Roman Emperor’s before the appointment of the next leader of the Empire. The above shows that we are justified to speak of a case of family vendetta against “the followers of a man whose movement Caiphas (as a member of Annas priestly family) had expected to but failed to stamp out”.[1] 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die. It was clear to Jesus that he would be crucified and would be lifted up on the Roman cross for criminals. When this dying/sowing of the seed happens, it would produce much fruit and all men (in this nearer sense, Israel, though certainly not only) would be drawn to him. [1] See Bauckham, R. 2007. James and the Jerusalem Community. In Jewish Believers in Jesus: The Early Centuries. Edited by O. Skarsaune and R. Hvalvik. Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, 75. www.eteacherbiblical.com . Used by permission.

There’s enough circulating in the media today to discourage Christians about the future of marriage and family. In a recent Atlantic article, “All the Single Ladies,” Kate Bolick suggests we stop thinking of “traditional marriage” as society’s highest ideal. Divorce is no longer the “new” normal, it’s just normal. In the 1980s and 90s, the term “turn-key kids” was meant to represent a sad reality for children. Now the term has been largely retired because of its regularity. These cultural developments have led evangelicals to become more family-centered, both for our own sake and also for the sake of our neighbors. Promise Keepers encouraged men to love their wives. John Piper and Wayne Grudem edited a scholarly and pastoral—in my opinion, definitive—book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, arguing for a complementarian understanding of the home and local church. The name Focus on the Family speaks for itself. But with every response, there’s always the danger of over-correction. It’s not that I think some evangelicals have become too conservative or too traditional. I worry that they’ve simply adopted traditional cultural and societal norms, instead of biblical norms. Zechariah and Mary The two birth announcements in the Gospel of Luke to Zechariah and Mary reveal how a society’s “traditional” family values may not line up with God’s. Zechariah, the priest married to a barren woman, and Mary both heard miraculous announcements about impending childbirth. Yet while Zechariah responded with skepticism and doubt, Mary responded with faith and wonder. So why would Zechariah, a priest, doubt an angel of the Lord? He knew the story of Abraham and Sarah, so the idea of an older, barren woman giving birth wouldn’t be ridiculous to him. But consider Zechariah and Elizabeth’s situation. Some of you may know the pain of not being able to have children. It’s the feeling of 10, 20, even 30 years deeply desiring children with hopes unfulfilled. Zechariah and Elizabeth also suffered shame. Luke 1:24-25 reveals Elizabeth’s heart. She said, “Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.” By reproach she meant the shame that comes from known barrenness. Maybe some of you have experienced this reproach from more conservative societies, where family is held in such a high regard. If you’re nearing your 40s with no children and maybe not even married, you start to receive questions like, “When are you going to get yourself a husband?” “When are we going to start seeing some little ones around here?” You hear the whispers. Every baby shower brings guilt and shame. Zechariah and Elizabeth also dealt with questions about whether they did something wrong to deserve barrenness. Was there some hidden sin? Worse, Zechariah was a religious leader, a priest! Can you imagine how this public shame undermined his position, his authority? So for Zechariah, pain and sorrow turned to shame and disgrace. He held on tightly to the cultural idol of family. This idol filled his heart so that there was no room for the truth of God’s promise, even if he heard it from an angel. The good news of a coming son did not inspire joy but unbelief. It’s too late. We’re too old. Two Common Errors Reading about Zechariah and Elizabeth while studying our own age, we discern two errors common to societies when it comes to family. First, a society can value personal independence and autonomy to such a degree that family and children become burdens. What God has provided for our joy and human flourishing, we regard as a killjoy, draining personal resources that we’d rather use to advance our own dreams, ambitions, and plans. But there’s another wrong view. A society can make the family the most important thing. It can become an idol, something that fundamentally defines us. We regard anyone who never marries or cannot have children as somehow subhuman. They must have done something wrong to upset God. By contrast, the Bible actually teaches a radically subversive message about the family. God, we often discover, is the cause of barrenness in women. Stories of family dynamics rarely flatter. You’ll never find a Leave it to Beaver household in the Bible. Rather, we see constant distress, rivalry, and jealousy. Usually this dynamic doesn’t result from undervaluing children. No, we see it when children become the most important thing! Not only that, Jesus also has some deeply alarming things to say about the family, sounding almost cold and uncaring—see Mark 3:31-35 and Luke 14:26. And finally, it’s difficult to make family the most central thing for Christians when the two most prominent figures in the New Testament, Jesus and the apostle Paul, were both single. Actually, Christianity made singleness a legitimate way of life for the first time in any culture or religion. Christ and the Church Before you thumb your noses at traditional values on marriage and family, remember this: When God wanted to paint a picture of his great love for he church and cost of his death, he cited marriage between a husband and wife. God in Jesus Christ is the faithful and sacrificial husband for his bride, the church. In fact, the Bible often describes our spiritual union with one another and God using the language of family. Through the cross of Jesus Christ, we see that God is no distant judge, but a Father; Jesus is not only a friend of sinners, but our brother; we share not only a common belief system, but we also live in community as brothers and sisters. While the family cannot be so important that it invades the space in our heart that only God should occupy, we see that even from Creation, God designed marriage and family to result in a maturing society. Zechariah, however, warns us not to make family the ultimate thing. He turned it into a false god, leaving no room for the truth of the real God. Not so with Mary! She responded with wonder and faith, saying, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). She, too, had dreams and hopes for family. She was even betrothed. You don’t think she daydreamed of what her family might be like? We know from John 8 that Mary’s pregnancy out of wedlock was public knowledge. Many believed that Jesus was born from “sexual immorality.” So Mary endured the whispers, stares, and brooked smiles. A virgin birth was hardly family-centered in that traditional society. Might we have whispered and wondered about her, too? Christians should have strong convictions about marriage and family. But their convictions should come from the Bible, not simply the norms of traditional societies. John Starke is an editor for The Gospel Coalition and lead pastor of All Souls Church in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. You can follow him on Twitter.