A pastor admits to requesting sex from some of his female staff members. A woman commits suicide after being told she was demon-possessed. A four-year-old boy dies for lack of a saving medical procedure because they were instructed by their pastor not to call a doctor, but to rely on prayer alone. Several couples in a rural community divorce because the pastor told them they were outside God’s perfect will. There is a danger of any spiritual leader, whether it be a pastor, counselor, chaplain, or an other leader in a powerful position, to use their influence to manipulate care-receivers. An entire church system spends millions on out-of-court settlements to those who claim to have been sexually molested by their priests. Some abuse, such as pat answers to life’s problems that are given to a voice further engagement into a person’s life, is done innocently, without malicious intent. Other abuse comes when a minister or counselor takes advantage of their power to manipulate the weak in order to gain something for themselves. How do we identify spiritually abused Christians? They may develop a distorted image of God. A demanding God who is never satisfied. A mean vindictive god who delights in humiliating punishment when one makes a mistake. An apathetic God who watches people who are hurting or abused and does nothing to help. An unaware God who does not know when his people are abused. A powerless God who cannot help. A fickle God who is inconsistent in His attitude toward people. An “utterly holy” God so perfect He cannot identify with people. They may be preoccupied with spiritual performance. Going by certain formulas in order to gain God’s acceptance or to have a problem-free, orderly life. It results in legalism and promotes extreme forms of self-righteousness and shame. They have a distorted Christian self-identity. Lack of biblical understanding or awareness of what it means to be new creations in Christ. Confusion between guilt and shame. Guilt is a signal indicating wrong performance. Shame indicated that something is wrong with the person. Shame is the primary motivator of good behavior or performance. The negative understanding of self can be solved by good behavior, or doing good deeds. A high need to focus on the negative view of self in order to explain negative behaviors. For example, I am just a “sinner saved by grace,” or “I am worthless before God.” They have a problem relating to spiritual authority. Once abused, people develop ways to defend themselves from further abuse. They may become extremely compliant or defiant when under someone’s authority. They have a difficult time with grace. Being treated gracefully is not accepted. It is difficult for the abused to receive gifts from God or people without feeling a deep need to repay that person. They feel holiness is not a grace given, but is earned by doing. They may have a problem with personal boundaries. An unclear understanding about “death to self” teachings and “rights” boundaries are invisible barriers that tell others where they start and stop. Leaders who have misused their power have beaten down the boundaries of other people. They have difficulty with personal responsibility . A person may be under-responsible in their relationship with God and others. They have realized that no amount of performance will gain acceptance and love, so they opt to be undisciplined and uncaring to others. On the other hand, some will be over-responsible. They feel a personal responsibility for other people’s problems. They have a greater sense of god needing them, rather than them needing God. They may suffer from a lack of living skills. Some religious organizations develop a “bunker mentality.” This means that they are closed to the outside world and secretive to what goes on in the inside. Some are not able to function in the outside world due to this kind of teaching. They may have a hard time admitting the abuse. No one wants to confront the “man of God.” This is common because they are often told that they are the problem for confronting a leader about a problem. Admitting the abuse feels like they are being disloyal to the family, church or to God. People who have experienced spiritual abuse have lost track of what normal is. Natural human denial is often a reason people do not admit the abuse. Finally, shame keeps people in darkness. They do not admit the abuse. They do not want to admit they were so naïve to have not recognized the abuse. They have a hard time trusting people again. Once people have been hurt by an abusive pastor, it is very hard for them to ever trust any pastor again. Those who have been spiritually abused by an abusive religious system will have a hard time trusting a healthy religious system also. John Kie-Vining. Home Is Where the Hurt Is . Marriage Comission, pp. 139-143. Used by permission.

Josh McDowell answers a number of relevant questions for parents and Christian leaders. Here’s one: “Some question whether a person who has committed suicide will go to heaven or if it is the unforgivable sin. Lloyd and Gwendolyn Carr address this in their book, The Fierce Goodbye : “Nowhere in the Bible, either Old Testament or New Testament, is the act or attempt of suicide explicitly condemned. There are several suicides recorded in Scripture and without exception they are treated just as any other death. The victim is given a normal burial, mourning, at least for some of them, is recorded, and there is no stigma attached to the act itself.” (p.95) Some of the suicides recorded in the Bible are Samson, who killed himself along with all the Philistines in the temple of Dagon, King Saul who fell on his own sword, and Ahithophel, a counselor of King David. Because the sanctity of human life is affirmed in Scripture, these suicides were not the Lord’s answer, but neither were they the unforgivable sin. See quotes below: “The evidence, then, is that there is neither valid biblical nor natural grounds for the church’s condemnation of suicide as an unforgivable sin. It is an act which we do not want to condone or encourage, yet there is no evidence that it brings eternal damnation to its successful practitioners.” (p. 97) You would need to read the entire book to become familiar with all the guidance given for those who worry about the eternal fate of loved ones who have committed suicide. Baker and Nester, authors of Depression: Finding Hope and Meaning in Life’s Darkest Shadow , said the following about suicide: Many feel that suicide is the ultimate sin for which there is no forgiveness. . . This is obviously a misunderstanding of the gospel of God’s grace. The only sin that truly keeps one from God’s presence is the sin of unbelief—of not trusting the work of Christ personally. The inability to confess suicide as a sin is not a real issue. If salvation depended upon confessing every sin committed as a believers, no one would qualify! The unfortunate and sad ending of an individual’s life of his own hand does not nullify the effect of the grace of God in his life. Suicide victims who are children of God are redeemed souls in the presence of their Heavenly Father. This is just a glimpse of some statements about the issue from a variety of sources.” www.josh.org In addition to Josh’s answer, here is some further research from his sources. Here are just a few key elements in recognizing and preventing suicide in a loved one from Lloyd and Gwendolyn Carr: If someone you know: Threatens suicide Talks or writes about wanting to die Appears depressed, sad, withdrawn, hopeless Shows significant changes in behavior, appearance, mood (either from being “normal” to being depressed or the reverse) Abuses drugs, alcohol Deliberately injures himself or herself Says he or she will not be missed if gone Gives away treasured belonging You can help: Stay calm and listen Take threats seriously Let him or her talk about his or her feelings Be accepting; do not judge Ask if he or she has suicidal thoughts Ask how intense and frequent these thoughts are Ask if he or she has a plan Ask if he or she has a means to carry out the plan Don’t swear secrecy – tell someone Assure the person it is OK and necessary to get help Copyright (c) November, 1999, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. (http://www.elca.org/dcs/suicide_prevention.html) Produced by the Department for Studies, Division for Church in Society. Get help: You cannot do it alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – a prevention hotline dedicated to providing immediate assistance. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

If you are a guy, you have been tempted with sexual sin. If you deny it, you are a liar or are you are dead. But there are some powerful principles for gaining victory over sexual sin and some great Scripture passages regarding the subject. Here are Perry Noble’s wise, succinct words. #1 – Who or what you pursue will ultimately determine what you do and who you become. It is a spiritual impossibility to pursue Jesus AND sexual sin at the same time. (Psalm 25:15) #2 – As a friend of mine has often said, “God is not after our begrudging submission but rather our joy!” And long term joy, peace and fulfillment are never the result of pursuing sexual sin. (Please read Proverbs 5, Proverbs 6 & Proverbs 7 for further confirmation in regards to this point.) #3 – Sexual sin is not something that can be “prayed away,” nor can we simply read Bible verses about grace after committing it in order to feel better. NOR can we simply promise God over and over that we won’t do it again (how’s that working for you?) We CAN be set free from it…but it will not be pretty. It must be confessed (James 5:16) and repented of (Revelation 2:21-23!) (I did not overcome my nearly 20 year battle with pornography until I confessed it and asked for help!) YES, it may “cost you” when it comes to your reputation…but remember, the costs of concealment are far greater than the costs of confession…and repentance is WAY more important than our reputation. #4 – Sexual sin costs us our spiritual esteem…people who are involved in sexual sin feel disconnected from God, guilty and spiritually dead. #5 – For those who want to STOP sinning sexually…a decision MUST be made to renew your mind (Romans 12:1-12,) to FIGHT the battles in your mind (II Corinthians 10:5) and to ask GODLY men and women to come along side of you and both encourage and spur you when necessary (Hebrews 10:24-25). (PS…this means you have to stop saying, “I messed up sexually.” OR, “I made a mistake!” Call it what it is…sin. AND stop meeting with people who are doing the same things that you are doing and so when you get together to “hold one another accountable” you are actually hoping that the other person “messed up” so that you don’t feel bad about doing so!) #6 – Understand that IN CHRIST you CAN have victory over sexual sin!!! (See Romans 8:37, I Corinthians 15:57, Philippians 4:13!) IN CHRIST you are NOT a victim but rather a receiver of VICTORY! If Jesus overcame DEATH then Christ in you can help you breakthrough the stronghold of sexual sin!!! (Luke 1:37!!!) #7 – For those who belong to Christ and are trying their best to pursue Him on a daily basis but are still haunted by a sexual past…remember that is who you WERE, it is not WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST!!! (II Corinthians 5:17!) Do not allow what used to defeat you to define you! You are no longer defined by what you did but rather by what CHRIST did for you on the cross!!!

Romans 14 is an excellent chapter for study in regard to making decisions concerning various issues not addressed in the Bible. Since most of what we do affects our relationships with others, study of this passage may help you reach a Christ-like decision that is best for you in your walk with the Lord, as well as your relationships with others. Often it is easy to fall into the practice of passing judgment on those whose thinking does not line up with our own regarding a particular issue. Rather than pass judgment, we are to accept one another (Romans 14:1). Matters of the conscience–those not strictly addressed in the Bible–must be settled in relationship to God (14:4, 7-8, 12, 22). Our actions should not bring condemnation on us. We should be completely convinced in our own mind concerning our convictions. If we have heard God correctly, we will have a clear conscience. Pleasing God is the determining factor for a clear conscience, not the opinions of others. We are not to do anything without believing that it is right. Everything that does not proceed from faith is sin (verse 23). We are, however, to guard our influence. Verses 13, 20, 21 say not to do anything that makes your brother stumble. Others are watching our walk as a Christian, therefore, it is important to keep in mind the higher law of love. The welfare of my brother is more important than my rights. Verse 16, 17 say, “Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” The kingdom of God requires real righteousness, personal integrity, loving relationships with others, and a moral influence. How do we resolve the conflict that may arise when we feel released by the Lord to exercise our freedom to participate in an activity while others feel just as strongly that such participation is unChristlike? How do we accept others and refrain from passing judgment, yet still guard our influence and not cause another to stumble? The answer is by imitating Christ. What did Christ do? Obviously, we will encounter situations in today’s society which Christ did not encounter, yet we can always look to Him as our example for every decision. Look at the first few verses of Romans 15. Jesus glorified the Father (15:5-7). He accepted others (15:7). He became a servant of others on behalf of God’s truth (15:8-12). When our life in relationship to others is in conflict, imitate Christ. A good motto to follow is, “In essentials unity, in nonessentials liberty, in all things charity.” In Psalm 32:8, the Lord says that He will lead you and guide you in the way that you should go. You can be confident that He will make His will clear to you in this matter if you are diligently seeking Him. It is your responsibility to follow the leading of the Lord. Susannah Wesley said, “If anything hinders your relationship with God, for you it is sin.” Our place is to listen to what God says and not worry whether God is dealing more or less strictly with a brother or sister in the Lord. Our job is to hear and obey, not to judge. http://www.josh.org . Used by permission.

Have you heard about this church that’s building itself on a military metaphor? It’s led by a general, not a bishop. Their clergy are not referred to as pastors, priests or vicars – instead it’s captain, major, colonel and commander. Officers go through seven years of training and are barred from earning outside income. This church even tells officers whom they can and cannot marry. Membership requirements are rigorous. When you join this church, you are referred to as a soldier. You must sign a declaration of faith and practice known as Articles of War, and you are required to give volunteer service to the church. You’re required to abstain from all tobacco, illegal drugs and alcohol. The organization’s magazine is called War Cry! Sounds like some weird cult, doesn’t it? So what’s the name of this unusual church? The Salvation Army. You may not realize it, but the Salvation Army is a church. Unlike most churches, it’s not known for its worship services. Instead, it’s known for helping people. And no church feeds more, clothes more or comforts more. The church has only about 600,000 members, but this year alone it will help more than 30 million people. The Salvation Army is at work in more than 100 countries around the globe. How is it possible to accomplish so much with so few members? While most churches are built around an academic model, the Salvationists are building on a military model. The entire church is structured for outreach. As a result of this structure, this relatively small denomination is able to accomplish more social service than all other denominations combined. What lessons can the local church learn from the Salvation Army? A masculine organizational model is desirable. By using a military metaphor, the Army. High standards are good. Call many, choose few. Effectiveness is more important than size. Most churches try to be everything to everyone. But a church that focuses like a laser on a particular aspect of the gospel will outperform the multi-focused church every time. It’s time to lift the de facto ban on military imagery and songs in the church. How long has it been since we’ve been allowed to sing Onward Christian Soldiers? Military imagery does not create violent men; it helps them focus their passions on the good fight. Instead of gender neutralizing our churches, we should celebrate both masculine and feminine expression. Androgyny has no place in God’s creation.

God has promised so many gifts for His children. Here are just a few. Gifts from Romans 5 : 1. Justified by faith (v. 1) We have a right standing with God because we have been declared righteous before Him. This is a legal verdict, and it includes: pardon from the guilt and penalty of sin; imputation of our sin to Christ’s account; our sins no longer counted against us; Christ’s righteousness credited to our account; and God declaring us “righteous,” solely on the merits of Christ’s righteousness. 2. Peace with God (v. 1) We are no longer God’s enemy. “God has declared Himself to be at war with every human being because of man’s sinful rebellion against Him and His laws. But the first great result of justification is that the sinner’s war with God is ended forever.” (John McArthur) 3. Access to the Father (v. 2) The access that was unthinkable in the Old Testament is now made possible through Jesus Christ. 4. Stand before God in grace (v. 2) In God’s saving grace, we enjoy a permanent, secure position. We also have sanctifying grace, sustaining grace, enabling grace, and suffering grace. Our position is not based in our own performance, but in God’s. 5. Hope of the glory of God (v. 2) “Hope” does not speak of uncertainty, but of something that is certain, but not yet realized. Our ultimate destiny is to share in the glory of God. 6. Suffering and tribulation (v. 3) Trials are the “pressure” that, like a “juicer,” produces the sweet “juice” of perseverance, endurance, character, and hope. This gift comes especially as a result of our relationship with Christ or because we choose to do right. 7. Love of God (v. 5) is lavished on us, overflowing in us. Understanding His great love for us will result in overflowing love for Him. 8. The precious Holy Spirit (v. 5) He lives in us: “God has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come” ( 2 Cor. 5:5 ). The Holy Spirit convicts of sin, comforts us, makes Christ known to us, teaches us the truth, and guides us. 9. Saved from God’s wrath (v. 9) Christ bore the full fury of God’s wrath against us and our sin. 10. Reconciled to God (vv. 10-11) Formerly separated and alienated from God, we are now brought to a state of right relationship with Him. Gifts from Ephesians 1:1-8 11. Adopted into God’s family (v. 4) God is our Father. We are children of God with a new nature, in a new family relationship. We bear God’s likeness. 12. Redemption through His blood (v. 7) This is a word picture from the ancient slave markets. A redeemer paid the necessary ransom to purchase the prisoner or slave’s release from bondage. We can sing, “Redeemed, how I love to proclaim it, Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb; Redeemed through His infinite mercy, His child, and forever, I am.” 13. Forgiveness of sins (v. 7) In the words of another song: “My sin–oh, the bliss of this glorious thought–my sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul.” Forgiveness leads to joy: “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” ( Ps. 32:1 ) Because of the blood of Jesus, God is faithful to forgive our sins–past, present, and future ( 1 John 1:9 ). 14. Purpose for living (vv. 12, 14) We exist “for the praise of His glory.” Gifts revealed in other scriptures: 15. The righteousness of Christ ( 2 Cor. 5:21 ) Christ’s righteousness comes in exchange for our sinfulness. 16. Christ in you ( Col. 1:27 ; Gal. 2:20 ) He is our “hope of glory,” and the perspective of our lives is “no longer I, but Christ.” 17. Life ( 1 John 5:11-13 ) We have eternal life, which speaks of its quantity (length), and we have abundant life, which speaks of its quality. We are spiritually alive because we are in relationship with Jesus, partaking of His life. 18. Mercy ( Ps. 103:10-11 ) God does not treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities. We will experience His unmerited mercy throughout our entire life. 19. The peace of God ( Phil. 4:6-7 ) God’s peace, which comes as a result of prayer, stands guard in our hearts and minds. 20. Joy ( Ps. 16:11 ; 1 Peter 1:3-9 ; 4:13 , 14 ) In God’s presence, there is “fullness of joy.” Far more than earthly happiness, we receive “exceeding joy,” a joy not based on circumstances. There is even joy as we endure trials of our faith, partaking in Christ’s sufferings and reproach. 21. Victory over sin ( Romans 6:6-23 ) We are “freed” from the power of sin. When we reckon ourselves to be “dead” unto sin (crucified with Christ), and yield our bodies to God as instruments of righteousness, we are no longer under the dominion of our flesh. 22. The Body of Christ ( 1 Cor. 12:12-27 ; Romans 12:5 ) We instantly have countless “brothers and sisters” in the family of God and are “members one of another.” 23. Spiritual gifts ( 1 Cor. 12:4-7 ; 1 Peter 4:10 ; Rom. 12:6-8 ; Eph. 4:7 , 11-16 ) Every believer has one or more spiritual gifts-which are to be used to glorify God and edify the Body of Christ. 24. Future glory ( Rom 8:17-18 ) As heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ, we will be glorified in heaven. 25. Two great intercessors ( Heb. 7:25 ; Rom. 8:34 ; Rom. 8:26 ) Jesus intercedes for us in heaven, and the Holy Spirit intercedes within us. 26. The power of God ( Eph. 1:18-20 ) We begin to understand how God uses His exceedingly great and mighty power on our behalf. 27. Prayer ( Heb. 4:16 ; Phil. 4:6 ) We are encouraged to “come boldly unto the throne of grace” and to let our “requests be made known unto God.” Remember: “Oh, what peace we often forfeit… when we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” 28. Wisdom ( Prov. 2:6 ; James 1:5 ) Man may have knowledge, but true wisdom comes from God. He enables us to see from His perspective. Want more wisdom? “Ask of God.” 29. A home in heaven ( John 14:2-3 ) Christ is preparing a place for us in our Father’s house. 30. Freedom from fear ( Ps. 23:4 ) God’s presence makes all the difference in the world. Because God was with Him, the Psalmist said, “I will fear no evil.” 31. No condemnation ( Rom. 8:1 ) While the Law condemns, there is no condemnation in Christ, our Deliverer. 32. An advocate ( 1 John 2:1 ; Rev. 12:10 ) We have a defense attorney in heaven: “If anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous.” Jesus defends us against the prosecution, Satan, who accuses believers day and night. 33. Future rewards ( 1 Cor. 3:11-15 ; 2 Cor. 5:10 ) Rewards will be given for faithfulness and for service. 34. The presence of God ( Matt. 28:20 ; Heb.13:5b )-His loving presence is continuous: “I am with you always.” The changeless Christ will never leave or forsake His own. 35. The Word of God ( Ps. 119:105 ; John 17:17 ; John 15:3 ) Not only is the precious Word a light to illumine our path, it also sanctifies and cleanses us. 36. Provision ( Ps. 37:25 ) The Psalmist said, “I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” God’s provision is expressed in a powerful church hymn, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”–“All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.” 37. Guidance ( Psalm 23:3 ) David said, “He leads me in paths of righteousness . . .” All we have to do is follow and obey. 38. Protection against the enemy ( Ps. 121:1-8 ; Eph. 6:10-17 ) God, who never sleeps and is always watching over us, gives us His armor for protection, and His presence preserves us from evil “evermore.” God gives us victory over Satan. 39. All spiritual blessings ( Eph. 1:3 ) “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” 40. He restores my soul ( Ps. 23:2-3 ) “He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” 41. A future inheritance ( 1 Peter 1:3-4 ; Eph. 1:13 ; Rom. 8:17 ; 1 Cor. 3:21-23 ) Christians will receive “an inheritance that is imperishable” and “kept in heaven.” 42. Kept by God ( Ps. 121:5-8 ; 1 Peter 1:5 ; Jude 24 ) God’s power will keep us from all evil. 43. Life and godliness ( 2 Peter 1:3 ) God’s power gives us “all things pertaining to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him.” 44. Great promises ( 2 Peter 1:4 ) God has “granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of this divine nature.” 45. Call to ministry ( Gal. 1:15 ; Eph. 3:7-8 ; 1 Tim. 1:12 ) “He who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace.”

Why Men Hate Going to Church is a best-selling book by David Murrow, founder of www.churchformen.com . He offers invaluable information pastors and church leaders should digest. If we take Murrow’s work seriously (and we should), we will change the way we do church forever. Here are just a few statistics we should know: The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. [1] On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. [2] This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. [3] Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. [4] The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). [5] Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return. [6] More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. [7] Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to 9 women for every adult man in attendance. [8] Christian universities are becoming convents. The typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every 1 man. [9] Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. [10] Church is good for men: Churchgoers are more likely to be married and express a higher level of satisfaction with life. Church involvement is the most important predictor of marital stability and happiness. [11] Church involvement moves people out of poverty. Its also correlated with less depression, more self-esteem and greater family and marital happiness. [12] Religious participation leads men to become more engaged husbands and fathers. [13] Teens with religious fathers are more likely to say they enjoy spending time with dad and that they admire him. [14] And men are good for the church: A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of involved men was statistically correlated with church growth, health, and harmony. Meanwhile, a lack of male participation is strongly associated with congregational decline. [15] FOOTNOTES: [1] “U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003, < www.uscongregations.org/key.htm >. [2] This statistic comes from Barna’s figures on male/female worship attendance, overlayed upon the Census 2000 numbers for adult men and women in the U.S. population. [3] I came up with this figure by taking the U.S. Census 2000 numbers for total married adults and overlaying Barna Research’s year 2000 percentages of male vs. female attendance at weekly worship services. The figures suggest at least 24.5 million married women attend church on a given weekend, but only 19 million married men attend. That’s 5.5 million more women, or 22.5%. The actual number may be even higher, because married people attend church in much greater numbers than singles. [4] Barna Research Online, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America,” 6 March 2000, < www.barna.org >. [5] Ibid. [6] “LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 22 Year Olds Drop Out of Church,” PowerPoint presentation accompanying study, available at the LifeWay Web site, http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0,1703,A=165949&M=200906,00.html , accessed 12 September 2007. [7] Barna, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America.” [8] I get an e-mail message about once a month from a pastor overseas whose congregation is almost totally female. [9] Camerin Courtney, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Christianity Today, Single Minded. View at http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind40630.html . [10] Based on a show of hands at the National Coalition of Men’s Ministries meeting in 2005. The consensus in the room among hundreds of men’s ministry experts was that less than 10% of congregations had any ongoing ministry to men. Compare this to the 110% of churches that offer women’s and children’s ministries. [11, 12] “Why Religion Matters: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability ,” The Heritage Foundation Backgrounder, 1064, 25 January 1996,  < www.heritage.org >. [13] Penny Edgell (Becker) and Heather Hofmeister, “Work, Family and Religious Involvement for Men and Women,” Hartford Institute for Religion Research, < http://hirr.hartsem.edu >. [14] Christian Smith and Phillip Kim, “Religious Youth Are More Likely to Have Positive Relationships with Their Fathers,” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 12 July 2002, findings based on the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1997). [15] C. Kirk Hadaway, FACTs on Growth: A new look at the dynamics of growth and decline in American congregations based on the Faith Communities Today 2005 national survey of Congregations. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, http://hirr.hartsem.edu . Read Why Men Hate Going to Church , David Murrow, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005, or to book David for a conference, visit www.churchformen.com

A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. “The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.” One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if I had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. The president called all of the executives into the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful—in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him! When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!” All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!” When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed. “How could he be the new CEO?” the others said. Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow. So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!” ·      If you plant honesty, you will reap trust ·      If you plant goodness, you will reap friends ·      If you plant humility, you will reap greatness ·      If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment ·      If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective ·      If you plant hard work, you will reap success   Think about this for a minute….   If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care? If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come? If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day? If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?  This is a test to see who your real friends are or if you are just someone to talk to. Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes? They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together, and they sleep together, but they never see each other; ….that’s what friendship is.. Your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it!

Angels are spiritual beings, usually invisible, although they can take on human forms. We learn in Isaiah 6 and Ezekiel 10 there are different types of angels.  Angels serve as messengers.  Angels serve as protectors.  And you don’t know when you might encounter one.  But they are not to be prayed to.   Hebrews 13:2 reads: “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”   Twenty-two years ago the Southeast Church bus was out in the middle of nowhere on the WK Parkway, bringing about 25 kids back from church camp.  That night the steering column malfunctioned and the bus was going about 60 mph when it wrecked in a ditch.  About five or six kids had to be taken to the hospital but fortunately there were no life-threatening injuries.   But right after the wreck, there was a man who helped the kids get out of the bus and tried to comfort them and encourage them during those frightening moments while some were still in shock.  Later, as they compared notes, they realized that many of them had the same story: they had come in contact with this same calming and helpful man (he was wearing a cap), but what was strange to those who had been comforted by him, was that no one saw him come on the scene, nor did anyone see him leave.  At that stage, when it initially happened out in the middle of nowhere, there was no other vehicle on the scene as he helped the kids off of the bus.  Now was that an angel?  Could be…or it could have been a very unusual coincidence when that exact moment a man was out walking along the edge of acres of farmland with no house in sight.    Matthew 18:10 is where the concept of guardian angels for kids originated. Jesus says: “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones.  For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”   These angels aren’t to be prayed to—only God is worthy of our prayers.  And while I would guess that most of those are unseen beings, obviously some are visible or else the Hebrew writer wouldn’t say that, at times, we’ve been unaware that we have been socializing and greeting angels.   Evidently, angel appearances are quite rare.  Throughout the entire time period of the Bible, spanning some thousands of years, an angel appears only a dozen times or so.  So on Monday don’t expect a divine apparition to show up at your cubicle!   Angels typically were delivering some type of a message.  They are trying to convey God’s plan for a situation in which they find themselves.  At Christmas, we see angels everywhere—on front lawns, in nativity sets, in children’s plays, and in malls (though you probably won’t see a lot of angels in the parking lots of malls!), but you will see figurines.  Here’s what I’m hoping…I’m hoping that whenever you see an angel you will immediately think: God is at work—unfolding His plan .   We look at life as though we’re looking at the backside of a tapestry.  Every thread looks jumbled up and it has no meaning.  But God sees our lives from the correct side – the eternal side – and from his vantage point every thread has a purpose.  The tapestry was woven together so that when it was completed, from one side it would make sense and it would be beautiful.   Throughout Biblical times and even today there are plenty of moments when we aren’t sure why things happen the way they do.  In some of those rare occurrences God allowed angels to clarify His plan to help with the process.  You see, angels are images of providence.

John’s Gospel begins, just like the book of Genesis, with: in the beginning. In Genesis, God speaks, and darkness is divided from the light (Gen. 1:4). Darkness and light have never successfully cohabitated. So it is no surprise that John noted in his Gospel that . . . the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend (or, overcome) it (John 1:5). There has been a battle between light and darkness since time began. The battle only grew more fierce when Jesus, the Light, walked upon the earth. The darkness hated Jesus. It inspired religious leaders to oppose him. It blinded people to His message. And, it ultimately led His own friends to deny and betray Him. Darkness launched every missile in its devilish arsenal to overcome the Light. Yet the Light continues to shine brightly. It probably did not dawn on anyone sitting on the lawn the day Jesus delivered his epic Sermon on the Mount, that they had just been deployed into a cataclysmic battle. Jesus had simply said, “You are the light of the world . . .” (Matt. 5:14). At the time, that statement might have sounded encouraging, even heartwarming. But it was a battle cry. Jesus knew full well what it was like to be light. He was under no delusions that darkness would welcome Him or forge a truce. It would be a fight to the end. Either the Light would prevail, or the darkness would. There was no room, or interest, in compromise. It was a battle to the death. And whether the disciples were ready or not, they were entering a war zone. It should not surprise Christians today when they are attacked, criticized, mocked, or lampooned by the media. It should be just the opposite. It ought to baffle us when we are not in the midst of an evil cannonade. Yet American Christians are continually expressing dismay when the world around them does not affirm or embrace them. Too many Christians have been allowed to enter the Church without being informed that they are entering a spiritual battlefield. Jesus told His disciples: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you . . . (John 15:20). I recently was in Nigeria. It currently has the sad distinction of having more Christian martyrs than any other country in the world. The Islamic terrorist group, Boko Haram, is determined to drive every Christian out of northern Nigeria and to create a strict, Muslim state. To that end, they have murdered hundreds of Christians. In January 2014, they murdered Christians on every Sunday in the month. In February, they killed hundreds of innocent people, including over forty children at a boarding school. These people, in the name of their religion, butchered children and defenseless villagers. Not surprisingly, northern Nigeria is the most backward, impoverished, and uneducated region of the country. The darkness is striving to keep people in bondage. I must confess to you that I have had a heavy heart for the dear Christians in Nigeria who are suffering from such vicious brutality. There the battle between light and darkness is evident for everyone to see. We in the West certainly owe it to our Christian brothers and sisters to be praying for them as each week, they endanger their lives by attending church. But we in America ought not to assume that we are safe from war. We may not have hooded thugs barging into our church auditoriums firing machine guns, but the combatants are just as earnest. The media today is bombarding society with its ungodly messages. The politically correct police will use lies, slander, and bullying to ensure that their version of truth is loudly heralded, why opponents are smeared as bigoted, racist, and ignorant. Christian values are publicly mocked. Christ’s holy name is brazenly blasphemed. Pressures to conform to the standards of darkness are as relentless as they are intense. I talked with a newlywed recently. He told me he was concerned about how he would raise his children in a world that is so opposed to Christian values and truth. I wasn’t sure how to answer him. It will be difficult. The darkness has made numerous inroads into society. It has built strongholds in many churches and denominations. It dominates much of the media. Darkness is as determined to snuff out the light today as it was in Jesus’ time. This is not an easy time to be a Christian. It is even harder to live like one. But this is the age God has placed us. Every “light” needs to be accounted for. Every light must shine brightly. This is no time to have a dim or hidden light. We need to shine more brightly than we ever have before. The darkness is coming for you. May you shine brightly. www.blackabyministries.org

In 1927, the famed British philosopher Bertrand Russell wrote an essay entitled, “Why I Am Not a Christian.” Russell’s essay inspired the title of this post. By “Christian,” I mean someone who has trusted their life to Jesus Christ as Crucified Savior and Resurrected Lord and seeks to follow Him each day. (I’m keenly aware that the term “Christian” has been hijacked to mean different things, hence the need to define.) Three things to keep in mind about this list: 1) This isn’t a list of theological reasons (e.g., God chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world and the Holy Spirit revealed Christ to my heart). 2) This isn’t a list of why I am indebted to Jesus (He owns me; He bought me with His blood; He died for my sins, etc.) Instead, they are intellectual/emotional/experiential reasons why I trust in and follow Jesus. 3) This isn’t an exhaustive list (I can certainly list more reasons), and it doesn’t reflect any particular order or priority. At the end of the list, I have a question for readers who aren’t following Jesus at the present time. And I’m really looking forward to hearing what they have to say. Why I’m a Christian . . . 1. Because life makes no sense to me apart from Christ. Nor does it have any purpose. 2. Because I’ve tried to not believe in Jesus, and I find that I cannot. (Perhaps this is why the early Christians were called “believers.” We believe for reasons that we cannot naturally explain. We believe because we believe. I have certainly struggled with various doubts along the way and questioned why God does and doesn’t do certain things, but that’s a different issue.) 3. Because I’ve never seen the Gospel narratives refuted successfully. Every critique that’s sought to debunk them throughout the years has been discounted under careful scrutiny and scholarship. The Gospels have stood the test of time. 4. Because I’ve never seen the resurrection of Jesus refuted successfully. Upon careful study of all the historical data, it actually takes more faith to deny His resurrection than to believe it occurred. 5. Because it makes no sense to me that Jesus of Nazareth isn’t who He said He was – the Messiah, the Son of the living God. No human being has had nearly the kind of effect on world history as Jesus has (e.g., I’m writing this post in 2012 – what does “2012” mean?). No serious historian denies that Jesus of Nazareth existed (there is more historical attestation for His existence than there is to Julius Caesar and many other ancient figures). And C.S. Lewis’ trilemma – Jesus is either a lunatic, a liar, or lord – rings true for me. 6. Because I can’t help but see the biblical narrative of Creation, Fall, and Redemption echoed in every play, every work of art, every human story, every drama, every movie, and the news I read each day. The Christian story is deeply embedded in the soundtrack of human history and art. 7. Because every time I meet a true follower of Jesus for the first time, I feel like I’ve known him or her all my life. 8. Because Jesus is the most compelling, intriguing, awe-inspiring, and amazing person I know of who is worthy of the greatest admiration, obedience, love, and (uniquely) worship. To my mind, truth, justice, and beauty are all grounded in Him, and His story (as told in the Gospels) trumps every other story known to humanity. 9. Because I’ve never seen any religion or philosophy deliver people from a life of carnality and bondage to addictions. In my experience and observation at least, Jesus transforms people’s lives greater than anything else on the face of the earth. 10. Because I have a deep and unshakeable belief that the Lord Jesus Christ is with me and taking care of me . . . and has all of my life. I cannot imagine life without Christ. 11. Because there is no rational explanation for some of the prayers that I (and others I know) have seen answered “in Jesus’ name.” 12. Because I don’t weep easily, but I readily cry whenever I detect the fingerprints of my Lord or behold His handiwork. What are the reasons why you haven’t trusted your life to Jesus?

Share 0 Satan tempts us to sin and stops us in our tracks by accusations, but his most insidious weapon is deception, because we don’t know when we are being deceived. Through deception, the father of lies has led the whole world astray (see Revelation 12:9). That is why truth sets us free and why the belt of truth is the first piece of our protective armor. Jesus prayed that we would be kept from the evil one by being sanctified in the truth of God’s Word (see John 17:15-17). James admonished us not to be deceived (see James 1:16). There are three primary avenues through which we can be deceived: (1) self-deception, (2) false prophets/teachers and (3) deceiving spirits. Scripture identifies at least eight ways that we can deceive ourselves. First, we can deceive ourselves if we listen to the word of God but don’t do it (see James 1:22-25). “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). We will be self-deceived if we think the Bible is just a textbook that provides us with knowledge. We will hardly be aware of how self-centered and self-righteous we are, but others will likely see the hypocrisy. When the Bible is a mirror it knocks us down a notch, picks us back up, and trains us in righteousness. Second, we can deceive ourselves if we say we have no sin (see 1 John1:8). Having sin and being sin are two different issues. We are not sinless saints; we are saints who sin. If we keep saying that we have done nothing wrong, we may start believing it. Third, we can deceive ourselves if we think we are something when we are not (see Romans 12:3; Galatians 6:3). We are children of God, by the grace of God, who are living our lives before God. Those who think they are special don’t know they really are! Fourth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are wise in this age (see 1 Corinthians 3:18-19). In professing ourselves to be wise we become fools (see Romans 1:22). “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). Wisdom is seeing life from God’s perspective, not ours. Someday we shall see fully, but right now we have one eye starting to slightly open. We don’t have a clue what is going right around us in the spiritual realm. Fifth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we are religious but do not keep a tight rein on our tongue (see James 1:26). Spirit-filled Christians exhibit self-control and only use their words to build up others (see Ephesians 4:29-30). Those who can’t control their tongues are denying the anger within them. Sixth, we can deceive ourselves when we think we will not reap what we sow (see Galatians 6:7). Everything we think and do has consequences, and we will one day give an account for our words and our actions. Seventh, we can deceive ourselves when we think the unrighteous will inherit the kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We cannot defend a sinful lifestyle and claim to be Christians by calling sin something other than what it is. Eighth, we can deceive ourselves when we associate with bad company and think it will not corrupt us (see 1 Corinthians 15:33). Sin is contagious. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12, NASB). Dr. Neil www.discipleshipcounsel.com For Spanish see www.ficmm.org/blog