Dear Roger, Hurricanes, floods, wildfires, brutal ice and snowstorms, oppressive heat and droughts. On the airwaves, Christian leaders beg God to perform a miracle and stay global warming. I was confused. Was this God's judgment on us for turning so dramatically away from its spiritual roots of Christianity?Did God really answer prayers to stay these disasters? I wondered if the problem was that American Christians just didn't have enough many people praying? Thanks, Adam Dear Adam, So many of us wonder if natural disasters can be God's judgment for a nation's sin. The answer to that is simple. Yes, God does sometimes uses nature to punish sin. In 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 God proclaims how He sometimes deals with sin. 13  “When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, 14  if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Let's think for a moment about the United States. Does the U.S. stand under God's hand of Judgment? No doubt. America is no longer a God-fearing nation. It is trending toward a secular country. Sin is everywhere--from top to bottom--from the president to congress to the common people. Mrs. Billy Graham said: If God does not bring judgment upon America then He will have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah." So, we hear about climate change with PAX storms from the frigid arctic paralyzing the entire Eastern half of our nation with snow and ice. Floods and hurricanes are the worst in recent history. Tornadoes are roaring though Tornado Alley at an increasingly prodigious rate. Extreme weather proliferates. The western half of the United States is experiencing a decade-long drought. California is out of water, blazing with wildfires. Many say, "These are God's judgment on a sinful society." I don't think so. These are simply manifestations of natural disasters. God's judgment looks entirely different. When a nation rejects God, loses its conscience and acts as if consequences to sin are inconsequential, God turns His back on that nation. He basically says, "You have rejected Me so I will reject you. You are on your own. Make the best of it as you rot away from the inside and fall inwardly upon yourselves to utter destruction. Please, read the following passage from Romans 1:18-32. You will see the United States, indeed the world, under God's judgment. "The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness...Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." (Romans 1:18-32). God's judgment on America is allowing the internal turmoil that will destroy our country from the inside. The breakdown of the social fabric of many nations has brought on anarchy and civil war. Leaders lie to us regularly. I am reminded of Aaron who tried to excuse his sin by saying, "Don't blame me. The people wanted a god they could see. Invisible gods are hard to see. All I did was throw in the gold and out jumped this calf." Who is to say we in the United States are any different. Sin abounds, the very principles we hold dear are being torn asunder and we cry, Don't blame me." Most natural are simply just that, natural disasters. For example, ice ages cover massive parts of the earth occur every 11,000 to 14,000 years. The last great ice age occurred 11,000 years ago. We are due for another. Why? Because over time the sun varies in the amount of heat it dispenses. Climate change is nothing new. Centuries ago Mesopotamia was lush and fertile with abundant rainfall. Now it is desert. The Holy Land was not called the "land of milk and honey" for nothing. Volcanoes in the Pacific Ring of Fire occur naturally as continental plates collide. Tsunamis result from underwater landslides deep in the ocean which produce water upheaval that create huge waves as they approach land. We can think about God's judgment on America; we also know that He has judgment reserved for our sinful world. The Book of Revelation has three cycles of disasters that occur just before the Lord Jesus returns to set up His earthly kingdom. The first is man's judgment upon himself. The second cycle is that Satan does to man. The third cycle is God's judgment upon mankind. The cycles increase in intensity Man is producing disasters that are not natural, they result from man and his behaviors--like nuclear reactor meltdowns rise in sea levels and fuel emissions. Global warming will destroy our world. The atmosphere of   now filled with carbon dioxide. The surface temperature there is over 840 degrees. The book of Revelation clearly links the disasters of the end times with the Judgment of God. Revelation categorizes the disasters as famine, plague, war, wild beasts. These first four kill off one quarter of mankind. Then come massive earthquakes, energy from the sun increasing to destructive levels, cataclysmic events upon the sun and moon. The earth, rivers and seas are contaminated, demonic manifestations torment millions, Finally, God pours out His wrath upon mankind. It begins with painful sores; every creature in the rivers and oceans dies. The sun increases in intensity killing many. Massive nuclear war occurs. At long last Jesus says, "Now, I am coming to earth." We must continue to live godly lives and help the hurting. They need us more than ever. It's time to pray and preach the Word with boldness and compassion. I hope this helps! Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I have been more miserable as a devout Christian. I do not enjoy life following the things I am taught at church. I mostly feel judged and pressured to be what I am not. I do not want to disappoint God so I have come to realize that I would rather die soon and skip to living in heaven. How do I pray for God to end my life on this earth? Sincerely, Geraldine --- No part of this response should be interpreted as being a substitute for professional counseling from a licensed mental health professional.  Most counties in the United States have many licensed Christian-based counselors with whom you can contract. If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Dear Geraldine, I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard season of heartache and discouragement. We know we live in a fallen world, or in a world of “tribulation,” as Jesus said. And it’s so hard to anticipate or comprehend the impact of this fallen world on the lives of the very people He loves the most: those who are devoted to Him, as you must be, because you are a devout Christian. I have several thoughts and suggestions I think will increase your hope until God changes the season you’re in. One thing that strikes me about your inquiry is that what you are being taught at church is making you feel judged and pressured. Following Jesus offers the freedom of conviction, not the lie of condemnation. I don’t know what kind of a church you are in. I hope its pastors are accurately teaching the word of God. Perhaps, they are not, as your email seems to imply. Without attending there myself, I cannot be sure. Fortunately, although we know that church attendance at a church with loving pastors who preach the word of God is valuable for many reasons, we can and should follow Jesus Himself. We follow Jesus  first .  Jesus said in  Matthew 11:28 , “Come unto me all you that labor and our heavy laden.” (KJV) When I preach, I ask the Lord to take my words and fashion them through the Spirit to speak to people in individual ways that are helpful to them. If anyone is in sin, as you probably know, God’s word will convict that person of the wrongness of any particular sin. This conviction leads to repentance and to a sense of freedom! The opposite is true of condemnation. It’s a hard lesson to learn (or habit to acquire) to look to Jesus, personally, rather than to look to a human being who may mean well but is binding people up with do’s and don’ts. You can be assured that God’s love is unconditional, and He would never lead you into condemnation. You are probably familiar with  Romans 8:1  that says there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. There’s  no  condemnation to you, Geraldine! God has clothed you with a robe of righteousness and a garment of salvation and some day you will see it, feel it, and you will wear it proudly. But God would want you to wait for his timing to don the robe and the garment in a tangible way in the heavenly realm. If, indeed, the pastors are preaching condemnation, that’s not a healthy church to attend. I must remind myself many times throughout the day to get my eyes off myself, my faults, my many problems – even from the negativity of others – and, instead, get my eyes on God! How do I do this? By meditating on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, anything that is excellent and anything that is worthy of praise. You probably know that this is Paul’s strong advice in  Philippians 4:8 . Geraldine, you have said that you are a devout Christian. Therefore, you are a sheep, a bought and paid for member of the body of Christ. Jesus paid an incredible price to purchase your salvation.  Jesus says that His sheep hear his voice and follow Him. God wants you to hear  His voice. God doesn’t want you to hear the voice of the enemy of your soul, or even the voice of a well-meaning person who judges and puts pressure on you. When I pray for people throughout the week, I pray that God will speak to them often – that He will give them gentle nudges, that He will help them to think His thoughts and speak His words. Jesus is the embodiment of grace and truth, and so are His words! When I counsel with folks, I pray with them that they will hear more than my words and that God will use the counseling session to speak to them, personally. I don’t know a better way to become continually open to hearing God’s voice than to meditate on His word.  When Jesus, our role model, was tempted in the wilderness after 40 days of fasting, He answered Satan’s deceptive words with passages of scripture. I don’t know if the pastors are doing this to you by twisting the word of God (or by taking scriptures out of context or by some other means), or if your interpretations of what they’re saying are inaccurate (your email is too short to know). Similarly, we must speak truth to lies. For example, we must tell Satan that God won’t let us be tempted beyond our strength but will provide a way of escape from present difficulties.  We must confess the truth that though we fall, He will not let us be “utterly cast down.” We must confess that the eternal God is our refuge and that underneath us, His everlasting arms go much deeper than our hurt. His everlasting arms never go away and, in His timing, He will always lift us up! When I confess such truths, I usually say them in ways that are prayers. For example, I say, “Lord, you say that I won’t be utterly cast down. I confess that as the truth, and I pray you will not let me be utterly cast down!” Like you, I also want to be with the Lord in paradise! The Apostle Paul wanted to be with the Lord!  However, we know that Paul knew that God’s plan for him was that he would linger for a little longer on earth in order to fulfill God’s plan for his life. Had he taken his life, he would not have spoken before Caesar, which was the probable cause of many of Caesar’s household giving their lives to Christ. I’m certain those folks were quite grateful to be saved all because Paul did not take his own life. While you live on this earth, it’s impossible to know how even a single prayer may change someone, perhaps save someone’s life, or how it may even change the world. We also won’t know until we stand before Him how a word or act of kindness might have helped someone at just the right time. We also have no way of knowing how our absence would probably impact the world in a negative sense, either.  Only God knows such things. So, we know that it is never God’s plan to take our own life. Do you want to know the best and quickest way to see God? It’s to say something like this to God: “God, my life belongs to you. You even sent your only Son into the world to die for me. I do not take Christ’s sacrifice lightly. I want to live for you every moment of the day and night. I know that with your help, I can make it through this difficult season and come to know You in a deeper way than I thought was possible. I love you so much – even when I don’t feel it – that rather than attempting to go to you when I  want to, I will wait to go to you when  you  want me to and when  you  take me to my eternal home. In the meantime, because I am totally devoted to You, I want You to use my life here on earth right now! Because I am totally devoted to You, I will wait on your direction and be sensitive to your gentle promptings to more fully know how to help Your kingdom be established on this earth.”

Dear Roger, Greetings in Jesus name.Let me be sincere with you, things are NOT well with us. Due to the challenges we have undergone last year in our church, my family has been severely affected. Right now, we have no more support from the church, and we are in a serious need. I together with my wife and our two daughters, we don't know where our next meal will come from, let alone paying the bills. And for this reason, kindly I need your prayers. We are in need. And we are trusting God to make a way for us. Sincerely, Pastor E Dear Pastor E, I grieve over your difficult circumstances. We certainly can pray for your needs! We both know that prayer helps many things, and I will be praying with you that God will sustain you, give you a good job, and allow you to provide for your family. I believe that the key to finding strength and hope is found in the book of Philippians 4:10-14 where Paul wrote, “I have learned the secret of being content in every situation. So, you are going through difficult times. Remember that God allows those times for the purpose of becoming like Jesus—with strength, patience, gentleness, and humility.I can do all things through Christ, who pours in the power ” (my paraphrase). As followers of Christ, we are made to survive even seemingly impossible circumstances…when we trust Him to give us the fierce determination and generous grace we need. But remember, with that ability to walk through suffering and scary times comes two even more precious, remarkable gifts from God: patience and contentment . Dr. Harry Ironside was becoming deaf in in his old age. One of his students asked Ironside to pray for him to have more patience. Ironside bowed his head and prayed, “Lord, please give this young man some problems.” Knowing that Ironside was deaf, the young student raised his voice and said, “No! No!” I did not say problems, I want patience.” So once again they bowed their heads, and Ironside quietly said, “Don’t you know that troubles and problems produce patience?” Alongside patience, difficulties offer the opportunity to learn contentment. We can come to understand how to respond when things are bad; and how to respond when things are good…if we choose to. Another of my favorite theologians and pastors, A.W. Tozer, shared a truth I repeat nearly every day: “Suffering brings bitterness or compassion. You choose.” God told Paul that when times were tough, Jesus will pour in the power and give us the strength to be victorious in every situation. This does not mean that all of our problems go away. It means that Jesus Christ gives us the power to handle them well when they do come. Let me give you some encouragement. I’m going to quote a rather long passage in which Paul describes his sufferings for Christ: (2 Corinthians 11:23-28). As you read, remember this…if God could make Paul victorious through Christ in his trials, then he can certainly give us power to get through ours! “Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.” Through these things, Paul learned to be content. In Tozer’s words, “He chose compassion over bitterness.” That doesn’t mean Paul’s life immediately became easier…or even a little better. In fact, to keep Paul from becoming proud, God allowed Satan to thrust into Paul’s side a thorn, a twisting stake, to torment him. Three times he prayed for God to remove it; and each time God said, “No.” However, God told Paul exactly how to be victorious in the midst of it. In 2 Corinthians, chapter 12, verses 7-10; God said to Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And Paul continued to lead thousands to Christ with the honor of writing God’s very words. You see, God gives us just the amount of grace we need to power through even the worst difficulty. Every time. So what do we do when times get tough? First, we study our Bibles to see how God acted in securing the lives of His people in trying situations. If God can do it for them, He can do it for us. Be encouraged, Jesus Christ is right there. Second, we pray . In prayer, we develop an intimacy with God that helps us through those difficult times. James says, “We have not because we ask not.” Third, we go to church to find strength and fellowship from the people around us. I hope that this gives you some encouragement, strength, and peace. Remember, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT) Let me know how things are coming along. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, I am worried that my daughter has joined a cult. She joined this church and it seemed like a good fit for her and then she changed. She lost weight, she cut herself off from friends and family, and she only listened to this pastor. He told her if she didn't follow his "rules" she would go to hell. How do I know if she has been duped? How do I rescue her? Sincerely, A Concerned Mom" Dear Concerned Mom, I know that after my departure, savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them"  ( Acts 20:29-30 ). Paul is speaking to the early church—and to us—about cults. They will and have come. They existed then and now. If we’re not extremely careful, they can draw us away from the truth. One quick note before we begin. The term “cult,” as expressed in the English language, can be used in both secular and religious settings. For example, “the singer's cult of fans” or “the film has a cult following.” Today, we will work with religious cults, defined by Dictionary.com as “great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers; a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.” The following characteristics will help us define and recognize the nature of a cult.  First, the most dastardly, insidious mark of a cult is that it ignores or distorts the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To one degree or another, all cults deny the deity of Jesus Christ. Their teachings and principles will eventually leave a person unsaved, without a relationship with Jesus Christ, and spending eternity in hell. The Bible teaches that faith in Christ, plus nothing else, equals salvation.  Ephesians 2:8-9  reads,  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” The three most obvious cults today are Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Watchtower Society, and Mormons. All three put good works in the place of “nothing else," suggesting the redeeming work of Jesus is not sufficient by itself.  Faith plus anything else is heresy. This characteristic of cults is so significant that Paul literally pronounces a curse as he shares his displeasure and outright anger at these false prophets who minimize, distort, or change the gospel: “I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; ... But even though we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to that which we have preached to you,  let him be accursed . As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to that which you received, let him be accursed”  ( Galatians 1:6-9 ). Please note that the word Paul used for “curse” is the strongest word for cursing in the Greek language. Technically, it dooms the one who is cursed to the darkest, deepest, most horrible fate imaginable. Second, most cults are led by a dynamic, charismatic leader who eventually controls and manipulates his or her followers. Jim Jones was a psychopathic, manipulative, controlling, and insidious leader. He founded the People’s Temple in Indiana during the 1950s. Jim began moving to different cities, gaining followers at each one. In the mid-1970s, he relocated all of his followers to Guyana on the northwest coast of South America. Then in 1978, rumors began to circulate, alleging that human rights abuses were occurring in the People’s Temple. United States Congressman Leo Ryan went to investigate. Ryan and several defectors were murdered by gunfire while boarding a return flight home. Shortly thereafter Jones led all of his 918 followers—including 304 children—to commit suicide by drinking Kool-Aid spiked with cyanide. Jones was a brash overlord who enslaved his followers… ultimately leading to their deaths. In contrast,  true Christian leaders are humble . Jesus described himself as  "meek and lowly in heart"  ( Matthew 11:29 ). Paul mentored Timothy as a pastor and church leader in two of his letters. In  1 Timothy 3:1-4 , Paul described a godly leader: “Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.” Third, surprisingly, most cult leaders grew up in a Christian environment. Sun Myung Moon, founder of the Unification Church, grew up in a Presbyterian home. Jim Jones attended a Nazarene church; later he pastored a Disciples of Christ congregation before founding the People’s Temple. Moses David (David Berg), founder of the Children of God, is the son of evangelical parents and served as a minister in a Christian and Missionary Alliance church. Mary Baker Patterson Glover Eddy, founder of the Christian Scientists, and Charles Taze Russell, founder of the Jehovah's Witnesses, were both raised in Christian homes and churches. Obviously, there are many reasons why cult leaders turn from Christianity. I would guess that some imagined hearing a voice from God telling them that they were divinely inspired to begin something new. Some were deceived by demonic promptings. Others were arrogant con men and con women who knew just enough Bible to get everything confused. Many were arrogant, grandiose people whose pride led them to destruction. Fourth, cult leaders tend to ignore, confuse, add to, and/or demean the Bible’s teachings. It is easy to trap Christians when cultists speak Christian language. This is why churches need to teach the Bible early and definitively. This is why new Christians need mentors. Occasionally, the media draws our attention to a leader who counts up biblical numbers and is convinced that he or she knows the date of Christ’s Second Coming. I recall one such group in southern Arizona that I identified as a “Second Coming Cult.” This particular cult leader went to the Bible, added up some dates, and declared that he had figured out the exact time and day of our Lord’s return (never mind  Matthew 24:36 ). Cults like his spring up occasionally. He convinced his followers to sell all their possessions because they would no longer need them after Christ’s return. Jesus didn’t return on his time. The cult dissipated quickly. Most had nothing to show for it except some clothes in a closet. Like all cult leaders, this man demeaned the truth of the Scriptures. Jesus said that only God the Father knows the day and time of his return. Fifth, cults use devious methods to trap, deceive, and control their followers. In an article entitled "The Power Abusers," Ronald Enroth demonstrates some of the tools used by cults to control their members: Behavior Control:  An individual’s associations, living arrangements, food, clothing, sleeping habits, finances, etc., are strictly controlled Information Control:  Cult leaders deliberately withhold or distort information, lie, propagandize, and limit access to other sources of information Thought Control:  Cult leaders use loaded words and language, discourage critical thinking, bar any speech critical of cult leaders or policies, and teach an “us vs. everyone else” doctrine Emotional Control:  Leaders manipulate their followers via fear (including the fear of losing salvation, and the fear of being shunned, etc.) Personally, I know of one freshman college student who fell into a cult led by a man named Brother David. She had been to church all of her life but became entrapped by both his teachings and personal guidance. She writes:  “Brother David (not his real name) pastored a wildly demonstrative congregation, and people prophesied over me twice a week. I didn't need to listen to God anymore; my fellow followers told me exactly what to do (and what not to do). I had this gnawing feeling growing deep inside that God was mad at me all of the time. I felt that I had disappointed Jesus if I were not fasting and reading the Bible constantly. I withdrew from friends and family, dismissing them as carnal and deceived.” Fasting at his suggestion, she reached 89 pounds before her parents and boyfriend succeeded in wrenching her free. Unfortunately, she was kind enough to tell Brother David why she was leaving. He told her that she could go to hell. Sixth, people join cults for a number of reasons. Some look at the level of religious mediocrity that they see all around them and find cults more attractive, as they tend to be more demanding. Others are looking for a new or deeper spiritual experience. They listen to an attractive personality and admire their reputation for superior godliness. Still, others are attracted to authoritarian movements that offer black and white, clear-cut answers or systematic approaches to life's problems. Some crave a message that seems to support their own beliefs and desires. Many lived through a church split and were hurt and disillusioned. They swore never to return. Then, they were exposed to a cult that seemed fresh and new. They were ripe for conversion. Paul calls out all of these motives in  2 Timothy 4:3-4 : “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths.” One other group is especially vulnerable: young Christians who get confused about the truth. “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming”  ( Ephesians 4:14 ). How to Avoid being Seduced by Cult Leaders and Teachings  1. Study Scripture in order to know true doctrine and biblical teaching. “ All Scripture is God-breathed  and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”  ( 2 Timothy 3:16 ). 2. Don't forget or ignore what you've already learned. “Peter, knowing that his days were numbered, reminded his readers of those truths which they had already learned.”  ( 2 Peter 1:12-13 ) 3. Develop a consistent and committed walk with Christ. Grow up! “As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.”  ( Colossians 2:6 ) 4. Consciously pray and practice the filling of the Holy Spirit. "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit” ( Ephesians 5:18 ). 5. Before leaving the house in the morning, put on the spiritual armor of  Ephesians 6:10-18 . “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes... the belt of truth... the breastplate of righteousness... the shoes out the gospel of peace... the shield of faith… the helmet of salvation... the sword of the Spirit... and pray in the spirit...” 6. Use  James 4:7  as needed for spiritual warfare. “Submit to God; resist the devil; and he will flee from you.” How to Help Deprogram Someone Out of a Cult     We must recognize the power of prayer and our dependence on the Holy Spirit for healing. Since damage was done in a relational context, healing must also take place in a healthy, safe relationship. Use the Scriptures and take time to help the individual identify their cult’s particular biblical distortions in a safe setting. Avoid criticizing, confrontation and arguing. As often as possible, give them an infusion of truth about who God is and how He sees us. -As they emerge to freedom, connect them with a healthy church. I hope this article is helpful. Love, Roger By the way, the freshman college girl is my wife . Best Resources for this article may be found at: Preach It Teach It.org; Bible Gateway.com; Got Questions.com; Wikipedia.com; the helpful teaching of Robert L. (Bob) Deffinbaugh pastor/teacher and elder at Community Bible Chapel in Richardson, Texas; and Steve Dowdle, retired counselor from Casas Church, Tucson Arizona.

Dear Roger, I am presently pastoring a church in a remote area in Nigeria, a community of idol worshipers. My neighbor joined the church. In the process, I discovered that he was in so many religious societies. Free Masons, Ogboni Fraternity, and there is a strong local Juju idol worshipper to which he is strongly attached. He wants the freedom to practice Christianity as one of his religious beliefs. He took ill a couple of months ago and instead of calling on Christ he resorted to a massive and open display of different animal sacrifices. This kept us apart for a while. But after I visited to greet him as a neighbor and admonished him, he resumed church with his family. A few days ago, he performed more sacrifices as he had just been initiated into the traditional palace council of the King. I was advised by one of my pastor friends to visit him again and pray with the family. My spirit is so grieved inside me. I find it difficult to do in light of Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians. Sincerely, Rev. Mrs. Constance Oyolu. Dear Reverend Oyolu, Two issues emerge from your question. The first is the issue of church discipline. The Bible gives an example of church discipline in 1 Corinthians 5:1-13. In this case, the discipline led to excommunication, and the apostle Paul explains the need for discipline. One illustration he used is that sin is like yeast; if allowed to exist, it spreads to those nearby in the same way that “a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough” (verses 6-7). Also, Paul explains that Jesus saved us so that we might be set apart from sin, that we might be “unleavened” or free from that which causes spiritual decay (verses 7-8). Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:25-27 that Christ wants to present His bride, the church, as pure and undefiled.  Finally, the testimony of Christ Jesus (and His church) before unbelievers is also essential. When David sinned with Bathsheba, one of the consequences of his sin was that the name of the one true God was blasphemed by God’s enemies (2 Samuel 12:14). The ultimate goal of any disciplinary action a church takes against a member is to bring about godly sorrow and true repentance. When repentance occurs, the individual can be restored to fellowship. The man involved in the discipline case in Corinth repented, and Paul later encouraged the church to restore him to full fellowship with the church (2 Corinthians 2:5-8). Unfortunately, disciplinary action—even when done correctly and in love—is not always successful in bringing about restoration. But even when church discipline fails to bring about repentance, it is still vital to accomplish other good purposes such as maintaining a good testimony in the world. The second issue you mentioned is idolatry. You know it's not possible to sacrifice to idols and be a Christian. The Ten Commandments are very clear about worshipping the One and Only God. In fact, idol worship is at the top of the list! “You shall not make yourselves any idols: no images of animals, birds, or fish.  5  You must never bow or worship it in any way; for I, the Lord your God, am very possessive. I will not share your affection with any other god!” (Exodus 20:3-5) Many Christians from other parts of the world do not understand that idol worship still exists. They also don’t realize that they too worship idols, but their idols come in different forms. All idolatry is insidious and destructive. What is an idol? And who is an idol worshipper? Usually when we think of idols we think of little statues or wooden figurines that people kneel before and pray and worship. A close missionary friend of mine, Tom Terry, defines an idol as “any representation of a deity or exalted person that people venerate or worship. Idols are usually a focus of worship or a tool used to direct veneration or worship to what it represents.” An idol is anything that is more important to us than God. An idol is anything that absorbs our hearts and imaginations more than God. An idol is anything that attempts to give us what only God can give. An idol is anything that seeks to find meaning apart from Christ. Money, power, and sex are idols that transcend every generation. Essentially, an idol is anything real or imagined that takes a person's focus off of the one true God and gives dedication, veneration, or worship to something or someone other than the one true God. Simply, we worship an idol ay time we attempt to find money, meaning, power, or pleasure apart from God. How can we identify idol worship in our lives and overcome it? First , be aware of your true spiritual situation . Find anything that you might venerate more than or/in addition to, Jesus Christ. Of course, as Christians in the Western World, we are not talking about little statuettes. We’re talking about all of the sins and activities that crowd the Lord Jesus out of our lives. Today, many people worship idols of money, possessions, or reputation. These are our real idols. Second , recognize that idolatry is evil, because no idol represents a true deity or true reality. The only true deity is the God of the Bible and no one knows what he looks like. “God does not have a physical form that can be accurately represented” (Tom Terry). Third , it’s not possible to be fully devoted to Jesus Christ while simultaneously hanging on to our idols. We all have a choice to make. Ask yourself the question, “Do I want my idols or my Lord Jesus Christ?” You can’t have both. If we try to keep an idol while we are attempting to serve the Lord, we will spiral into a decimated Christian life. Jesus demands exclusive rights to our worship. Fourth , make a commitment to let go of your idols and avoid them at all costs. John the Apostle states it simply in 1 John 5:21; “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.” We must conscientiously and deliberately put idols in the proper perspective or throw them away. This means confession, repentance and a renewed commitment Christ as Lord and Savior. I pray you will be able to reach this man. You certainly are a Spiritual Warrior in Christ’s kingdom! Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, What do you do when you get "the call"? You know, the call that your son’s been in a car crash? Or your wife has had a heart attack? Or your daughter’s in the emergency room with an overdose? Or your husband is on the floor unconscious? Or your son-in-law is dying on the operating table? “You’d better hurry if you want to get there in time to say your “goodbyes”. What to do when you get the “emergency call” that may change life as you know it forever? Sincerely, “Traumatic” Dear, “Traumatic”, I got that call this week. My son-in-law almost bled out from an aneurysm in the OR. Several days ago, Julie and I got the dreaded call from our daughter: “Brad has had a heart attack.” Brie was working at Brad’s office, when she found him unconscious on the floor of the bathroom. She did CPR until the ambulance arrived. She called us on our cell phone: “Thank God, it’s not a heart attack after all.” “Then what is it?” “They don’t know. They think that it may be a perforated colon and he has peritonitis.” I whispered to Julie, “That is really bad.” When we got to the hospital they still had no diagnosis. Test showed no peritonitis. Thank God. Several hours later they finally realized that he was bleeding internally. An aneurysm on the artery that goes to his spleen had ruptured. They removed his spleen and as they were working the aneurysm blew wide-open. It took twelve units of blood, four surgeons, two anesthesiologists, four nurses, and a profusionist to stem the tide of rushing blood. Thank God, small Wichita Falls has a level II Trauma Center! When I asked Brie which letter I should answer for Ask Roger this week, she suggested that we share some practical steps to take when the Emergency Call comes. I asked her to take the lead. After experiencing the “Call”, here are her suggestions. 1. CRY OUT TO GOD. Sometimes it’s as simple as, “Dear God help!” and that’s ok. He’s there. And He already knows everything that’s happening (Psalm 70:1). 2. GET RATIONAL. Figure out what needs to be done and do it. Call 911, help him breathe, etc. Put your emotions in a box and deal with the emergency. God gave us a great capacity for emotion—but also for rational thought. Use it. While all hell is breaking loose around you, you keep your focus on doing what needs to be done (James 1:5). 3. KEEP SWIMMING. Don’t let your mind run wild with future implications. You won’t drown when you’re arms keep moving one stroke at a time. Not one day at a time—one moment at a time. Sometimes trusting God means doing what’s right in front of you (Deuteronomy 31:6). 4. LEAN ON FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Ask for help. You are not “fine” and that’s ok. Don’t try to be fine. God gave us each other for a reason—and people who love you want to DO something. Let them. You need it—and they do too. Think about how Paul told the churches to support one another. (2 Corinthians 8:1-5; Galatians 4:14 a) That’s practical—not just in prayer or thought. 5. DON’T BE ALONE. Don’t. Coordinate people to be with you at all times. You are NOT bothering them. Remember that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Let people show you love. 6. AFTER THE CRISIS, REST. Stress and fear ravage your physical and emotional health. There’s a reason Psalm 23:4 is in the Bible—let Him lead you into green pastures and restore your soul. 7. FIND COMFORT IN GOD’S WORD. We need Bible passages we can depend on when life falls apart. Brie read Psalm 91 to Brad when he was screaming with pain in the emergency room:” Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. Personally, I go to Psalm 103: As the father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; For he knows how we are formed, he remembers that he made us out of dust. Well, “Traumatic”, I hope this is helpful. I hope that you never again suffer an emergency call. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, How do we know God's will in our life? Sincerely, Nibin Kalasini Dear Nibin Kalasini, I often think of God's will when I see and hear my wife preparing to conduct our church's symphony orchestra. She lays out her written compositions on a large, over-sized music stand and turns on the CD of the upcoming night's performance. Her hands and arms conduct in rhythm with the music. Occasionally, I notice an unpleased frown and a hitch in her movements. She just made a mistake--and the music keeps right on playing. She never stops the CD to do it over. After all, symphonies don't have time for "do overs". She just jumps right back in and keeps going. God's will is much like that. We go along with the flow. Of course, we will miss some beats; who wouldn't? But, we don't stop, or start over, or change to another song. We just jump back in and keep right on going. We played "Marco? Polo!" when I was a child. The game works best in a swimming pool or lake where you can't move quickly without splashing. One child is blindfolded and tries to find the others by asking, "Marco?" The other children say, "Polo." The blindfolded child tries to find and touch one of the other children who are all free to move about until the blindfolded one again says, "Marco." Mention the phrase, “God’s will,” and too many Christians think of "Marco Polo." Not only are they searching for God's will, God's will is a moving target. Sadly, some Christians play a variation of "Marco? Polo!" called, "You're Getting Warmer . . . " Again, a child is blindfolded. An object in the room is selected. As the blindfolded child tries to find the object, the children give guidance: "You're cold" (far away). The child adjusts direction. "You're cool" (moving slightly in the right direction). The child adjusts the search according to the new information. "You're getting warmer" (relatively close). "You're hot..hotter…hotter" (the child reaches out and finds the object). God is not watching us from heaven saying "You're getting warmer . . . " as we get closer and closer to stumbling on His will. God is playing neither "Marco? Polo!" nor "You're Getting Warmer . . . " Tragically, however, many Christians are. Unfortunately, after many unsuccessful years of game playing many conclude they will never stumble across His will and give up trying. On the other hand, many Christians discover God's will and enjoy many years of adventure and delight in an interactive relationship in which God makes His will the most obvious thing in life. So, how do we find God's will without playing games. According to the Word of God some prerequisites are in order. When these these are met, the need to play "Marco? Polo!" or "You're Getting Warmer," dissipates. Proverb 3:5-6 is a good place to begin: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Each phrase is a prerequisite for discovering God's will. "Trust in the Lord" How willing are you to put your life in His hands whatever His will turns out to be? The man in my office wanted to know God's will for His life. I asked him, “Will you commit to do God’s will whatever It might be?" “First, I want to see what it looks like," he said. "That's not how it works," I said. "Well, give me a hint." "Sorry, I said, "God doesn't bargain." He went away. A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and said, “Are you a Christian?”"Yes."“Do you read your Bible every day?”She nodded her head. “Yes.”“Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?” Do you trust God enough to let Him hold your quarter? "with all your heart" Knowing and doing the will of God isn’t a “spiritual technique” that we use occasionally as needed; it’s a committed lifestyle that involves everything we do. The well-known practice of asking for a person’s “John Hancock” comes from the most obvious signature on our Declaration of Independence. John Hancock’s name is the only signature that can be identified by the casual observer… and that’s exactly what he intended. His expressed intent was to make certain King George III could read his name without the aid of glasses. It was a bold declaration of his personal commitment to the cause for which he was willing to die. John Hancock’s overly legible signature hit the target at which he aimed. During the Revolutionary War, King George offered amnesty to all of the Americans who were willing to stop the war. Hancock was intentionally omitted from this proposition. His zealous signature informed the king there was no turning back. "With all your heart" means that if we want to know and experience the "straight paths" we have already given our “John Hancock” to the Lord Jesus Christ. "lean not on your own understanding" It is not good to seek God’s will alone, so said Solomon in Proverb 15:22: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Wise and loving family, friends and spiritual Christians can often see dangers and detours that are hidden from us. They can scout for open doors that we might easily miss while we look in other directions. Three men were marooned on an island. Suddenly a genie appeared and said, “What would you like to have? Any wish is yours.”One man said, “I miss my family in L.A.” Whoosh–and he was gone. Another said, “I miss my brokerage firm in Boston. I wish I were back at my desk. Whoosh–and he was gone.Then, the third man said, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.” Family, friends and not our only sources for information that keep us from living on our own understanding. "The will of God is always open to reason," the Bible says. Therefore, I think that it's important to come up with a list of pros and cons which is examined by others. This procedure helps clarify our thinking and sort out the issues as we try to discern His will. Solomon agreed in Proverb 19:2: "It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." "in all your ways acknowledge him" Rhonda understood clearly when I asked her what God's will was for her life. She replied, "God's will for my life is to bring Him honor and glory." Jesus is looking for those Christians who acknowledge God's positive activity in their lives. Read Psalm 50 for more insight to this principle. When Jesus answers our prayers for healing, we tell people about it. When we get a new job we tell others how God had a hand in making it happen. Psalm 50 declares that God intends for us to share in public the great things He does for us. "and he will make your paths straight." Making straight paths is God's part of the process. In other words, He lays out His will for our lives and guides us safely along the way. Let Me Share With You The Practical Steps I Follow As I Implement God's Will In My Life. 1. Commit To Doing God’s Will Whatever It May Be (John 7:17). 2. Humble Your Heart In Trust Before The Lord 3. Search The Scriptures To Find Passages Applicable To Your Situation And Then Interact With The Holy Spirit And With Others In Discerning How They Apply. 4. Gather Pertinent Facts And Make A List Of Pros And Cons. 5. Seek Wise Counsel 6. Pray for God to make the plan so clear that we can’t miss it. Now We Listen And Wait Quietly For God To Open the Envelope of His will for us: The Bible Godly people Providential circumstances Wise reasonings Worship and/or prayer Trials and/or sufferings Inner promptings of the human spirit 7. Do Whatever Your Heart Leads You To Do. "But Roger, you didn't tell me whether I ought to go to this school or that one. You didn't tell me about new job or new car or who to marry, etc." If you've experienced the guidelines of Proverb's 3:5-6 and utilized the preceding-practical six things above, and you still are not certain just what comes next. Then just follow your heart and do whatever you most feel like doing. I don't say this of my own accord, I just follow the guideline laid down by David in Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Notice He didn't say that he would fulfill our desires, He said He'd put the desires in there. It's not that He gives you what you want, He gives you the right things to want. Once upon a time I attended the 40th anniversary reunion of my 9th grade football team. We talked about divorces, raising grand children; cancers; heart bypasses, etc. My group of friends went through all the joys, successes, hurts and pains like every group. But, one thing about the group was an absolute shock to me. So many were now following Christ. Thinking back to junior high school I just assumed most would grow up to be pagans. Jay Dolphus even began the reunion with a prayer. Several days later, Gary Courtney, my best-growing-up pal, and I were discussing the transformation. Gary put all in perspective: “Just give us enough time and we will finally get it right.” God is gracious. We are going to get this right.

Dear Roger, Have you ever struggled with doubts? Sincerely, Jack  ---- I was sitting in my office with my friend, Jack, as his heart poured out the pain of the doubts and disappointments he was currently suffering. His faith was waning as he struggled to decide whether or not God even existed. “Have you ever had doubts about Christianity and the reality and existence of God?” I know that many Christians struggle with doubt; therefore, I want share with you more than just a cursory, hit and miss, answer about my own personal doubts. What follows is a more complete account of my own journey through doubt—and the accompanying despair. I know what it is like to preach when I’m not ever sure that I believe in God—try that confession “on for size.” I also know how to work through the issues and rediscover faith by asking hard questions, carefully researching the facts, reasoning rationally, emotional heartache, sessions of intense prayer, and spiritual searching—all of which lead to a restored relationship with Jesus Christ Himself. Those who have ever doubted all have a story to tell. It is hard to admit to doubts in the Christian community. Many will think that you have somehow lost your salvation or never with a Christian in the first place. You may have your own story. What follows is mine—as accurately as I can relate it. The room full of ministers hushed when I asked, “Is there anyone here who’s never once doubted the reality and truth of Christianity?”  One minister raised his hand.  I was incredulous. “Do you mean to tell me that you have never once, in all of your life, had at least one small doubt that Christianity might not be true?” “That’s right,” he replied.  “I have never had a single doubt—not one.” My initial reaction was that he was either an intellectual dullard or a bold-faced liar. Later, as I reflected on his remark, I considered that it was certainly possible for someone to have such simple, child-like faith that doubts never occurred.  I would not know.  I am not one of those persons. My wife, Julie, might be one.  “Why do you ask so many questions?” she wanted to know.  Why can’t you just accept the Bible at face value and believe it?” “Well, it is not that simple,” I reply. Once upon a time, it was. I became a Christian with child-like faith at the age of seven.  Nary a doubt entered my mind.  However, questions regarding the validity of Christianity arose during my senior year in high school when I decided to read the Bible straight through before I was graduated in May. My struggles commenced with the opening chapters of Genesis.  My quandary began that night when I realized that God did not create the sun until day four.  It bothered me that God made light and darkness on day one, and separated the sky from the waters on day two, and created dry land and vegetation on day three, but did not get around to the sun, moon and the stars until day four.  After all, how could the earth have light before it had a sun?  Further, it really bothered me that chlorophyll producing green plants thrived before a sun existed to power them.  However, my racing mind slowed when I reasoned that brand new plants could surely live for twenty-four hours until God got around to making the sun.  So, I read how God made the birds and the sea creatures on day five, and fashioned land animals and man on day six.  Then, I went on to sleep. The next night I discovered what I considered a direct contradiction.  Moses declared in Genesis two that no shrub existed and no plant had sprung up when God formed man out of dust and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.  Did Moses forget what he had just written?  In chapter one he said that plants were created three days before man.  In chapter two, he emphatically declared that no plants existed when God scooped up some dust to fashion a body for man.  What gives? Since my childhood faith was strong, it did not take much to settle my high school musings.  A logical explanation had to exist.  Rehwinkel’s, The Flood , brought comfort that brilliant men had figured out explanations for all sorts of complex interfaces between the Bible and science.  I could live off their faith. My faith held strong through college and into my early pastoral career.  Then, while riding a bus on a high school mission tour from Arizona to Oregon, I read The Red Limit by Timothy Ferris. This astronomical survey of the universe from the big bang to the present was mind-boggling.  During the first three minutes after creation hundreds of subatomic particles came into being including protons, neutrons, and electrons that coalesced into hydrogen, helium and a few lithium nuclei.  After three minutes not enough heat energy remained to fuse any heavier elements. Ferris demonstrated how gravity coalesced into large clouds of hydrogen and helium gas over long periods of time for the makings of stars and galaxies.  Increasing pressure and heat in the small, dense compactions resulted in nuclear fusion and the first generation of stars were born.  Continued fusing of hydrogen and helium created increasingly heavier elements—up to lead in the periodic table.  Due to the physical constraints of mass, heat, and pressure, and the tight electrical binding of lead nuclei, no elements heavier than lead can be cooked up inside a star. Fusion fires dim as heavier elements are produced and usable nuclear fuel is exhausted.  Stars ultimately implode with two significant results.  First, the elements created inside the stars scatter far out into space to be used in new star and planet formation.  Second, the heat of the explosion fuses into existence elements heavier than lead.  The idea that the “dust of the earth” used by God to create Adam was cooked up inside an exploded star somewhere out in the universe conflicted dramatically with my youthful understanding that one day about 6,000 years ago God created the heavens and the earth. I was disillusioned to discover from Ferris that countless stars have burst into existence, lived a full life, and expired before our own sun was created about four and one-half billion years ago.  I was shocked to discover that our sun is so insignificant it is not even in a spiral arm in the galaxy.  We are four-fifths of the way out toward the edge of the Milky Way in a trough between the Sagittarius and Orion arms.  My faith shook as it dawned on me that the physics of star formation demanded the creation of a solar system of planets around every star (now increasingly verified by astronomical observation).  The very idea that life might exist on some planet elsewhere in the universe violently shook my secure Biblical foundations.  How would God relate to other life in the universe?  Could there be other fallen races of life?  Did Jesus die for people somewhere else, too?  Would “the Lamb slain before the foundation of the cosmos ” take on more meaning than I ever imagined?  Much later, I discovered that C.S. Lewis had considered all these issues in his Space Trilogy long before I was born! The barren desert landscape outside the bus window just south of Las Vegas looked much like the inside of my heart. The more I read, the less I believed in a God who was big enough to oversee the whole universe.  Maybe God really was a created figment of man’s hope-filled imagination? If He did exist, how could He be everywhere all the time in a universe so immense?  Earth was not the center of anything.  How could He have time for us?  How could man be made of stardust?  My original doubts flooded back—with a vengeance! Doubts are dangerous, so when we returned home, I decided to squelch my uncertainties and follow Asaph’s model in Psalm 73 for handling doubts. The poet almost lost his faith when he contemplated the earthly success of the ungodly as compared to the godly.  He concluded, “If I had said, ‘I will speak ,’ I would have betrayed this generation of your children.” I vowed to pastor and preach and keep my reservations to myself.  A doubting preacher can bring mass confusion to the flock.  So, I kept my mouth shut while I worked through my struggles with doubt. I trusted that God would honor the preaching of His Word despite my struggles with unbelief.  “God never promised to honor the preacher,” I reasoned. “He promised to honor His Word.” Therefore, I vowed that God’s Word would be carefully and faithfully preached from my pulpit while I quietly fought through my confusions. I would depend on God to honor His Word.  I would not share my wonderings and bring harm and confusion to my flock. Facing doubts is infinitely better than denying their existence and ignoring their effects.  As a result, I resolved to study astral physics and quantum mechanics until I could reconcile the Bible and science.  I started with Einstein’s theories and read books like Einstein’s Universe by Nigel Calder, Relativity Visualized by Lewis Epstein, and A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, until I could explain in simple terms how massive bodies warp space-time, how the universe works, and why time stops at the event horizon of a black hole.  The concept of eternity was easy to accept when observable places exist in the universe where time does actually stand still. I studied quantum mechanics and read books like Taking the Quantum Leap by Fred Wolf, and The First Three Minutes by Steven Weinberg, and discovered that physics on the subatomic level determined the structure of everything on the macro level. I learned that the universe exists in multiple dimensions—most probably six small ones which rolled up at the moment of creation and the four that we discern easily in everyday life, length, width, and height, plus time. Since math is the language of physics, I studied several books on mathematics, like One Two Three…Infinity by George Gamow, and learned that the mathematical models of multidimensional space predict that everything in the universe becomes a single point when passing through eleven spatial dimensions.  This revelation, plus the implications of warped space-time, forever settled my mind as to how God could be omnipresent in an enormous, expanding universe. I resolved to study enough anthropology to get a feel for the creation of man.  Lucy , by Donald Johanson and Maitland Edey, was one helpful resource which provided a broad, sweeping overview of the “emergence” of mankind on earth.  Lucy is a fossilized, three-foot tall, human like and unlike, female creature who walked the savannas of Africa three million years ago.  Lucy was not human; nor was she ape, chimpanzee, or monkey.  I began to understand how easily a prehistoric Lucy fits within the context of any of the Christian based theories of Adamic creation, like the insertion, emergence, God-conscious, or special creation viewpoints—to name just a few. My faith was bolstered in the biological arena when The Search for Eve by Michael Brown, was published.  This scholarly work, based on years of careful research on human mitochondria from people groups all over the world, demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that every human being alive today had one common female ancestor.  Actual scientific proof for the existence of Eve further sustained my faith. I studied geology in order to satisfy my mind that geologists had valid reasons for dating rocks back into the millions and billions of years old.  I soon understood with confidence how a walk down into the Grand Canyon unveils over 3.5 billion years of rock formation with a history of fossilized strata containing creatures that no longer inhabit the earth. I began to see how the geological and biological revolutions of the 18 th and 19 th centuries produced a great gulf between scientists and Christianity. Naturalistic evolution bumped strongly up against the many Christians who ascribed to a literal-Genesis interpretation that God created the earth and the universe in six, twenty-four hour days, approximately 6,000 years ago. During this time I read the works of Christians who attempted to reconcile the division by postulating a “mature earth” theory that God created the universe with fossils and stars that just looked millions and billions of years old, when they really were created just 6,000 years prior.  The idea that God played tricks in the creation was untenable to me—but, I admired this honest attempt by searching Christians to solve the apparent disharmony. Long periods of unresolved doubt stole my joy, sapped my spiritual strength, and affected the faith of those around me.  I am not pleased that I struggled.  I wish I had lived with more faith during those years—but I did not—and there was a price to pay.  Preaching a funeral while wondering if there was life after death was neither fun—nor inspiring.  Preaching with power about the miracles while pondering their validity was neither pleasant—nor possible.  I never dipped into the depths of unbelieving despair.  I never preached things I did not believe.  However, I just was not always as certain as I could—or should—have been. Not surprisingly, relief for my searching uncertainties came from the Bible.  Whatever the creation accounts in Genesis mean, there is no confusion as to the meaning of Hebrews 11:3: “By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what is visible.”  How did the writer to the Hebrews know in the first century—and by faith at that!—what it took science over 1900 more years to discover!?  I concluded that God must have told him. Both science and the Bible agree that the universe exploded into existence at a single point out of absolutely nothing. As a result of my studies, I deciphered how God could create a universe out of nothing.  Einstein’s “E=MC2” means that matter and energy are equal.  According to his formula, a small quantity of matter can unleash a tremendous amount of energy, as in a nuclear explosion.  On the other hand, “slowing down” a tremendous amount of energy will produce a small quantity of matter.  In essence, matter is “frozen energy.”  It is easy to postulate that God as spirit entertains tremendous amounts of energy.  At the moment of creation God froze some energy to make a universe of matter that is “visible out of what is not visible.”  Hebrews 11:3 and Einstein’s equation were a powerful confirmation to me of the existence and reality of God—and the Bible. Many of my questions remained unanswered—and that was all right.  I concluded that God did not reveal enough for us to solve all the riddles of science and the Bible.  I made peace with my doubts when I decided that the main issue of faith is not deciphering the facts of creation, but settling the issue of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I could not reconcile Genesis one and two just yet, but I could trust my life to the One who cheated death and promised that if I believed in Him, I, too, could cheat death and live forever.  I concluded that Paul had the right perspective.  In an attempt to convert the Athenians in Acts 17:16-31, Paul mentioned the God who created heaven and earth, but he planted his arguments firmly in the resurrection fact that Jesus Christ was not in the tomb on Easter morning. I decided likewise to anchor my faith in the resurrection. The answer to unbelief resided in a personal choice of my will.  It was my choice to believe the scriptures—or not.  My faith could not rest on feelings or emotions.  Faith could not depend on my ability to figure everything out.  Faith must rest on the facts of the Word of God.  Mark Twain said, “It is not what I don’t understand about the Bible that bothers me, but what I do understand.”  I understood enough to believe.  The rest would have to take care of itself. God refused to punish me for having doubts; instead, He took steps gently to restore my faith.  He was kind to me.  I never once had the impression that He was angry with my unbelief—disappointed perhaps—but not irate.  I sensed all along that He lovingly supported my searching and stood unflinchingly by my side.  Never once did I feel betrayed or deserted.  He knew that I would work through my struggles.  Perhaps, He considered my life and ministry worth saving.  Most likely, I just benefited from His heart filled with mercy and grace. I was living in faith when I encountered a little known, and I am convinced, totally unnoticed book in the Christian community, by Conrad Hyers entitled, The Meaning of Creation .   Hyers’ premise for untangling the Genesis creation is based on understanding Hebrew poetry. While Moses wrote in prose, he structured the six days of Genesis creation in Hebrew poetical form. English poets tend to rhyme words. Hebrew poets rhymed thoughts. Genesis one was organized in Hebrew poetical form around three strophes.  The first strophe, verses 1-2, outlined the Problem . The earth was in chaos.  It was dark, watery and formless.  The second strophe, verses 3-13, demonstrated the Preparation when God brought form to the formless .   On day one He made light and darkness.  On day two He prepared the sky and the sea.  On day three He created land and vegetation.  Earth was now formed and ready to be filled. The third strophe, verses 14-31, described the Populating, or filling, of what had been formed. On day four God filled the light and darkness with the sun, moon, and stars. On day five God filled up the sky and sea with birds and fish.  On day six God filled the vegetation He had formed on day three with animals and man.  In correct Hebrew poetical style Moses rhymed day one with day four, day two with day five, and day three with day six. According to Hyers, Moses never intended Genesis to be a scientific dissertation on creation.  In fact, Moses would be both startled and confused at the Biblical debates that swirl around science today—and vice versa.  The issue for Moses was not science and the Bible.  His issue was, Who is the real God? Elohim of the Israelis? Or, the myriad gods of the Egyptians?  With each day of the creation Moses systematically demonstrated that the Egyptian gods were not gods at all.  They were all creations of Elohim! With that interpretation of Genesis One God brought peace to my slightly still struggling doubts and unbelief. I feel fortunate that God answered all the questions I had left when He brought Hyer’s book into my life. Not everyone will get such final confirmation; nevertheless, faith can still be had. By the way, I have found many Christians who struggle in the same areas as I. When I share my journey, and especially with engineers and scientists, some are unbelievably threatened. Most, however, are unbelievably relieved. One engineer said to me, “Where were you in high school and college when I needed you?  This interpretation takes all the pressure off having to reconcile science and the Bible in order to confirm the validity of my Christianity! You would have spared me years of confusion, struggle and doubt. Thanks.” Simple faith is preferable to raging doubts.  I wish I never doubted.  I wish I just believed and never entertained misgivings.  I wish I were more like my wife, Julie.  Unfortunately, I traveled a different path; but, fortunately with similar results.  My protracted, intense struggles produced a strong faith.  Simple, unwavering childlike faith is lovely to behold.  But, so is complex, hard-earned, mature faith that takes years to formulate and resolve.Genesis 2:4-7 Rehwinkel, Alfred, The Flood , Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis, Mo., 1966. Ferris, Timothy, The Red Limit , Bantam Books, 1979. Calder, Nigel, Einstein’s Universe , Viking Press, New York, 1979. Epstein, Lewis, Relativity Visualized , Insight Press, San Francisco, 1983. Hawking, Stephen, A Brief History of Time , Bantam Books, New York, 1988. Wolf, Fred, Taking the Quantum Leap , Harper and Row, San Francisco, 1981. Weinberg, Steven, The First Three Minutes , Bantam Books, New York, 1980. Gamow, George, One Two Three…Infinity , Bantam Books, New York, 1972. Johanson, Donald and Edey, Maitland, Lucy , Warner Books, New York, 1981. Brown, Michael, The Search for Eve , Harper and Row, New York, 1990. Jastrow, Robert, God and the Astronomers , W.W. Norton, New York, 1978. Hyers, Conrad, The Meaning of Creation , John Knox Press, Atlanta, 1984.

Dear Roger, Does God lead us into temptation? When I failed in it, really? Just trying to tell me I am weak;… break me. How do follow Him again when following Him leads to heartache over and over again? Lost. Laurie Dear Laurie, I can see why you think God could, or would, tempt us. Jesus taught us in the Lord’s Prayer to pray: “… and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil One…” (Matthew 6:9-13). Both Luke 4 and Matthew 4 tell us that God led Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted by Satan. One the other hand, James tells us that God would never tempt anyone to sin: “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;…” (James 1:13). Perhaps this is a paradox. To us it is inconceivable that both are right. But, in God’s mind there may be no conflict. If this is a paradox then this is one of God’s mysteries. He does have mysteries the answers to which we will only discover in Heaven. Nevertheless, it is hard to go against the “clear-cut” words of James. That is, “God never tempts anyone to sin.” The Greek word used in these passages may be translated as either "temptation" or "trials”. The translator must choose which word he or she thinks best fits the context. While, I do not believe that God will ever lead us into places of temptation, there is no doubt that He often leads us into places of trials and troubles. In your case I think that God is not tempting you to fail or succeed. On the other hand, He very well may be putting you into difficult situations. “Why would He do that?” you are asking. The answer is that God uses, allows or even creates trials and troubles to make us look more like Jesus. Molding us to look like Jesus is God’s intended purpose for every one of His chidren. Romans 28-29: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,…” This says that all things that God may allow or bring into our lives are for the “good purpose” of maturing us to look and act like Jesus. “Though he was a Son, Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered (Hebrews 5-13). Jesus endured suffering and pain to accomplish God’s plan for His life. He uses the same tactics to mature us to look like Jesus. In your question you were asking how you follow God when following God brings you so much pain and misery. The answer is to change your perspective and understanding of what is going on in your life. All of these troubles are designed to help you become more like Jesus. Hebrews 12:5-11 is the classic passage on how and why God allows difficulties to dog your steps, and not just yours, but to dog the steps of all of us who follow Jesus Christ. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6  because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” 7  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father… 9  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10  They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. According to Hebrew 12 we are to handle our troubles with four words of encouragement: Don’t play like you don’t know what is going on. Do understand that all trials are God designed to shape you to look like Jesus. Don’t take troubles lightly. Do remember that fashioning you to look like Jesus is serious business. Don’t get angry and bitter. Do welcome His work in your life. Don’t resist God’s work. Do submit because He intends to finish His plan for your life; so make it easy on yourself and partner with Him. Let me encourage you to stop worrying so much about your failures. Failure does not mean defeat. It means that we are wiser and stronger to meet the next set of difficulties that come your way. You also need not be afraid that God will allow or load more troubles on you than you can handle. The Bible says: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it ( 1 Corinthians 10:13 ). Now, for your homework. Read the following three passages and observe how God poured In the power to help him be victorious in every trouble that he faced. Laurie, I hope that this gives you some help and direction. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I am so overwhelmed. Why doesn’t God meet my needs? I pray and pray, and He doesn’t seem to hear or care. Am I praying for the right things?  When I went to church, my pastor talked about the difference between God’s perfect will, God’s will, and God’s permissive will. I’m really confused. How do I know what my needs really are? How do I know what I’m supposed to ask for? If I get it wrong, is that why I don’t hear from God? Give me some insight about how to be certain that I am asking for real needs and not just my wishes. Angela Dear Angela , The best way to sort God’s will, needs, and wants is by following the biblical principle of gazing and glancing. We  gaze at God’s face and  glance at our needs. When we gaze at God’s face and glance at His hand in our lives, we will have the right relationship and understanding of God. If we reverse our gaze and glance, staring at our needs and only briefly glancing at God, our spiritual lives deteriorate rather quickly. Consider Peter in  Matthew 14:25-30 : “During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It's a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: ‘Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.’ ‘Lord, if it's you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’‘Come,’ He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” Peter walked successfully on the waters of the sea of Galilee by gazing intently at Jesus and glancing occasionally at the waves. However, when he reversed his gaze and glance, he screamed, “Lord, save me!” as he sank beneath the waves.  All was well until he reversed his gaze and glance. Let’s give Peter some credit. It takes real  faith  to step out of the boat and into the sea. But then, there were roller-coaster waves. Peter took his gaze off of Jesus. Instead, he gazed at his circumstances—and he sank. In verse 31, Matthew writes:  “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ He said, ‘Why did you doubt?'" Then, Peter reversed his gaze and glance and walked the rest of the way to Jesus. Perhaps you have lost your job, your spouse, or your health. It’s hard to keep eyes on Jesus. Do you question God’s care? You will survive as long as you get your eyes back on Jesus—like Peter. Bad Things Happen When We Shift Our Gaze from God to Our Needs 1. Reversing Gaze and Glance Allows Circumstances to Dictate Our View of God. Oswald Chambers  wrote: “If we only look at our needs we will get in a huff with God when He doesn’t give us what we want.” What if our need is more money, and we measure God’s love by how He meets that need? Suppose we receive $500. We think, “God brings a little bit, so God loves me a little bit.” But suppose we receive $10,000. We think, “God loves me a lot!” This is a lie that goes directly against scriptural truth. Many couples can’t have children—often for a medical reason. This was an issue in the Old Testament. They believed that barrenness was a curse from God. Today, we know it is not a curse; however it is a deep, painful disappointment. A couple in our church couldn’t have children, so I prayed with them for her to get pregnant. Six months later, they shared the good news: she was with child! I was so impressed! My prayer really worked. My prayers had power! Soon after, they moved away. The couple returned several years later with twins! I was so excited to see the fruit of my prayers. When I mentioned that prayer to the parents, they confessed, “We didn’t want to tell you, but after you prayed, we went to a fertility clinic, and it worked so well, we had twins.” Perhaps you have prayed for a healthy baby. If you have one, you say, “Yea! God loves me!” If you have twins, you say, “God must really love me!” But what if you have an unhealthy baby? You cry, “Maybe God doesn’t love me after all!” When we focus on our circumstances, we have a distorted view of God. 2. Reversing Gaze and Glance Assumes that We Know Our Needs Better than God Does Most of us have little idea what our needs really are. I knew a man who needed a car. When I prayed for him, God said, “Stay out of this. Don’t give him the money. His finances are a disaster—he’s not following biblical economics. He’s wasting My money. I need to teach him a lesson.” Perhaps you have prayed for a wayward child. Maybe God’s answer is to bring that child to repentance through tough love. Remember, God is more passionately interested in taking care of you than you are. Paul wrote in  Philippians 4:19 :  “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” 3. Reversing Gaze and Glance Opens Our Lives to Satanic Deception Satan can provide counterfeit answers to prayer to ruin our view of God and distort our relationship with Him. We need to learn to see the face of God before we seek His hand. If we only see His hand, we can be deceived and led astray by the enemy. Satan distorts prayer in many ways. Heather was teenager with good morals and values. She got involved with a boy who had a bad reputation. Her parents knew he was not good for her. Her mom said, “Pray about it and see what God says.” Heather prayed, “God, if Rich calls by 7:00 tonight, I’ll know it is your will for me to date him.” Satan got involved. “I will answer that prayer!” Rich called at 6:59! Satan prompted the call. Now Heather operated under the assumption that this was God’s will, but God never had a thing to do with it. When Heather got pregnant, she said, “God what have you done to me?” We have a distorted view of God because our prayers are so need-based and crisis-oriented. Gazing at our needs first leaves us open to Satanic deception. 4. Reversing Gaze and Glance Means That Our Sins Are Hard to See God will not answer the prayers of Christians who are harboring sin in their lives. David wrote in  Psalm 66:16-18 :  “Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” Isaiah wrote in  Isaiah 59:2 :  “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” Invisible sins are always more damaging to God and to us than visible sins. If we only seek the hand of God, we will never see those sins. But if we seek the face of God, our sins will be revealed, ready to be confessed and forgiven. We can never sin so much that God won’t hear the prayer of repentance. Remember the promise in  2 Chronicles 7:14 :  “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 5. Reversing Gaze and Glance Is Idol Worship An idol is whatever man conceives in his mind to meet his needs without turning to God. Crisis-praying is the least effective praying we can do. When we are in crisis, we are in the worst position to see our problems from God’s perspective. I wanted to God to answer my prayer about relocating our church. I prayed for Him to help us sell our current site to a big box store so we could finance the church’s move to a much larger site. The neighborhood around our church was in an uproar. They protested the sale and won. How could God thwart my prayer? God had a much better solution. But the church had become my idol. I wanted to grow it my way. Learning to Transition from the Here and Now to the Eternal Is the Holy Art of Prayer Philippians 3:10-11  gives us the biblical motivation that will sustain us in prayer:  “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” Paul also reminds us of God’s purpose in  Galatians 4:19 , teaching,  “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.” When I seek only the hand of God and not the face of God, then my gaze and glance are reversed. If I am only interested in moving a mountain and not knowing the Mountain Mover, then my gaze and glance are reversed. Get the point? Paul’s prayers are concerned with maturing the inner spirit where God lives. That’s how to pray. That’s how to truly know God and find peace and contentment.

Dear Roger, My wife and I both grew up in the Roman Catholic tradition but lost interest a number of years ago. Recently some of our friends invited us to go to their Protestant church and I must say that we really enjoyed it. In fact, we are going almost every week. However, I wonder why the leaders never talk about confessing sins. I used to look forward to confession. I know that sounds strange; but, I felt so clean afterwards. I know that confessing sins is important because we learned James 5:16 in Catholic school: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed closing quote” (James 5:16). Sincerely, Evan Dear Evan, I consider confession of sin to be the “lost art” of the Evangelical Christian church. I consider this to be a great tragedy. Unconfessed sin dirties up our relationship with God. Unconfessed sin is why most prayers go unanswered. Isaiah declared this in Isaiah 59:2: “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” It’s not so much that God will not hear us as much as it is that he will not even look at us. The New Testament parallel is Matthew 5:8: “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” People ask me all the time why their prayers are not answered. In my opinion the most often reason is because they are harboring unconfessed sin in their lives. For example, 95% of all divorces have money problems as significant contributing factors. I’m reminded of how many times I’ve been asked to pray for someone’s finances. They may beg and plead for God to take care of their financial needs but it’s like the heavens are brass. Then, they often get mad at God for not answering their prayers when their lives are falling apart. However, all the time they are trying to pray they are wrapped up in the sin of materialism, spending everything they make on themselves; not having any left over for those in need; neglecting to say for the future; going into credit card debt; and refusing to give God the top 10% of their incomes. I’m sure that God would love to take care of their finances; and sometimes, in His grace, he does. However, most of the time Isaiah 59:2, and Matthew 5:8 come into play and God doesn’t even hear their prayers, much less answer them. I’ll make this so simple that no one can miss it: “Unconfessed sin stops prayer in its tracks.” Of course, there are other things that hinder our prayers. But as far as I’m concerned confessing our sins is where process of answered prayer begins. For example, we can have all the faith in the world! But faith can’t move into the picture until unconfessed sin opens the door. Fortunately, God has provided confession so that hindered prayer may no longer be hindered. Unfortunately, through years of neglect, and lack of teaching and practice, it seems to me that most Christians not only neglect confession, they don’t know how to make an effective one! 1 John 1:9 is the foundation of verse, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Once our sins are confessed, God can begin answering our prayers. Let me share with you the necessary ingredients for a proper confession of sin. 1. The Word “Confession” Means “To Agree With”. We began our prayer agreeing with God that what we did was wrong. We need to be specific. This is not the time to argue with God or give rationalizations for why we did what we did. 2. We Repent Of What We Did Wrong. “Repent” means to turn around. In other words, we tell God that we have no intention of continuing in particular sin. We want to turn around and head a new direction. Sometimes, we don’t want to turn our lives in the right direction. That’s okay as long as we realize that God will no longer hear our prayers. 3. Dirty Sins Need Individual Attention. Too often I hear Christians confessing their sins by saying things like, “Dear God, would you please forgive all the sins that I’ve committed today.” I say to that type of confession, “If that’s the best you can do, don’t bother.” The first time that I ever washed my clothes was after my first week of college. I had other chores that I did at home, but doing the laundry was never one of them. Mom sewed me a canvas bag and told me that when it was full, to go to the laundromat and use a washing machine and close dryer. I was in a hurry and decided to speed things up by just tossing in a whole duffle bag filled with dirty clothes into the washer. I put money in the slot and turned on the washer. Soon afterward my washer began to jump and wiggle all over the floor. That’s what happens when washers are unbalanced. But I didn’t know that then. I was marveling at what to do next when a pretty college girl tapped me on the shoulder and asked , “Would you like some help?” I nodded. She lifted the lid and the washer stopped spinning. She then picked up my bag and shook my soaking wet dirty clothes out of the bag and back into the washer. She looked at me and grinned while she said, “Dirty clothes need individual attention. Take them out of the bag next time.” Dirty sins are like dirty clothes. They need individual attention. 4. It’s Not Possible To Properly Confess Sins Without Entering Into “Godly Sorrow.” Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians: 7:10: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” “Godly Sorrow” means that I began to feel what Jesus was feeling when he watched me do what I did, or said, or thought, or didn’t do what I should’ve done. My wife, Julie, is a creative genius. Totally right brained, she has difficulty accomplishing last brain tasks--like keeping up with her keys. Sometimes, she calls me from the shopping mall and frantically tell me that someone has stolen her car. Of course, it’s not stolen, she just lost it. Being an orchestra conductor requires many hours of rehearsals. I can’t tell you how many times she’s called me at ten or eleven o’clock at night to tell me that she can’t find her keys and that I need to come to church and take her home. I get so tired of it. One afternoon I pulled up beside her car in the church parking lot. I looked in the front seat and the keys were on the front seat and the doors were locked. I thought, “Once again the late night phone call to pick her up would come.” I decided to settle this once and for all. I went into the church building where Julie was practicing with seven child violinists to lead worship on Sunday. I was so angry that I stormed down the aisle, shaking her keys. I was shouting, “Do you know where these were? Do you know where these were? Of course you don’t. You lost them again and I’ve just about had it!” I threw the keys on the piano, turned around, and stormed back to my office. I imagine that the seven children are still in a state of shock from observing their pastor’s behavior! As I cooled down I began to feel really badly about my behavior. In fact, it was time for some godly sorrow. I begin to imagine what Jesus was feeling when I stormed down the aisle shaking the keys and yelling at Julie. Jesus’ heart was hurting for her. I’m twice her size and I stood over her shaking keys yelling. I began to realize she was probably afraid. I had not only sinned against Jesus I’d send against Julie Jesus was hurting from her. I was feeling very sorry for how I behave. Then I imagined Jesus turning his attention toward me. “Look at Roger! Look how he’s behaving. Look at is out of control anger. It breaks my heart to see how he’s acting.” I began to imagine Jesus was weeping for Julie and weeping for me as he watched my escapade. Godly sorrow was occurring. We need to be careful at this point. Too many of us commit ten gallons of sin and only ask for a pint’s worth of forgiveness. Godly sorrow helps us to ask for enough forgiveness to cover all ten gallons.. 5. Now It’s Time To Tell God How Sorry We Are And To Ask For His Forgiveness. Once we begin to experience godly sorrow there’s no doubt we will truly be sorry when we ask for forgiveness. 6. Now it’s time to ask for forgiveness. Out of mercy, grace and Christ’s work on the cross, he forgives us. He’s ready now to listen and respond to our prayers. Of course, I need to deal with Julie’s pain, fear and hurt. So, I sit quietly with Julie and take all the time needed to confess my sin against her. I want her to tell me how much that I’ve hurt her. I don’t want to ask for a pint’s worth of forgiveness when I heard her 10 gallons worth the pain. 7. Don’t Worry About The Sins You Can’t Remember. However, when God brings them to mind, stop what you’re doing and confess. We want our inner spirits to be clean and pure. We want nothing to impair our praying and talking with God. When I confess my sins to God I might pray something like this: “Dear father, today at 4 o’clock in the worship center, I sinned against Julie and against you. I agree with you that yelling at Julie, shaking the keys, throwing them on the piano and losing control of my emotions were all wrong. I repent of these sins. I want to turn my life around and never ever act like that against Julie or against anyone else. I want to now enter into godly sorrow and imagine what you were feeling when you watched me treat Julie like I did. I’m sorry for what I did. Will you please forgive me? I suggest that you get a close friend and confess your sins. Remember James wrote that we should confess our sins to each other so that our prayers won’t be hindered. Evan, may your innermost spirit be always clean and pure so that your prayers may never be hindered. Love, Roger

We’ve recently remarried after the failure of our first marriages? How can we successfully blend our two families into one? Dear Roger, Are you going to preach on what happens when your step-father brings his son home to live in your family? Anonymous Dear Anonymous, I'm not certain whether it was the trace of a tear down her cheek, or the soft quiet voice of the nine-year-old child standing beside me. I had just preached on Biblical family relationships and was moving toward the side door to greet guests. Suddenly, ever so softly, I heard her call "Pastor Roger". I looked down to the little child standing beside me. I bent low to hear her say, "Are you going to preach on what happens when your step-father brings his son home to live in your family?" There was pain in her eyes. "Has your step-father brought his son home to your house?" I asked. She nodded. "And it's not going very well, is it?" She nodded. The next Sunday I preached about blended families. The term "blended family" is the label for the home that is putting two families together. Perhaps a more correct title would be "blending families". Blending marriages is an ongoing process. The child standing beside me represented millions of Americans who’ve gone through the trauma of a broken family—and are now being blended into another one. Unfortunately, not all families work out well . In Ephesians five and Genesis two God outlined His plan for successful marriages. We might summarize His model succinctly: “God’s plan is for one man and one woman to become best friends and partners for a lifetime.” Robert Redford, the famous actor from days gone by, was asked what makes a great lover. He shocked all by not giving the expected macho man answer. He answered, “A great lover is a man who can satisfy one woman for her entire lifetime and she does the same for him. Love is not running around from woman to woman. Any dog can do that!” Blending families is difficult but not impossible. I know that the task is difficult because I can find not one successful bleeding of families in the Bible. Abraham tried to blend Sarah and Isaac with Hagar and Ishmael and finally threw Hagar and Ishmael out of the house (Genesis 21). Jacob tried to blend 4 families with disastrous results (Genesis 29-38ff) First wife Leah and her children Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, and Dinah; Second wife Rachael and her children Joseph and Benjamin; Concubine Bilah and her children Dan and Naphtali; Concubine Zilpah and her children Gad and Asher. Jacob’s family was destroyed by jealousy, murder, rape, deceit, and favoritism. David began with first wife Michael and married perhaps as many as twenty-eight more. His last wife was the infamous Bathsheba. There were numerous concubines in between. At least ten sons are named in scripture. In addition he had "more sons and daughters born to him". You would not want to live in the king's family. He was blending about 30 more families than he had time for. Among his children we read of murder, rape, rebellion, incest, hatred, bitterness and anger (2 Samuel 8-18; 1 Kings 1-2). Solomon's proverbs contain many, many impassioned pleas to have only one wife! In fact at the end of his life he advised us to “rejoice with the wife of our youth” (Proverb 5:18). He had 70 wives and 300 concubines. Looking back, the multiple families he created were more trouble than it was worth. In addition, He grew up in a blended family. He didn't want anyone else to have to go through what he went through." God and Solomon were on the same page when they both advised, “Make your first marriage work.” One msn in our congregation said: “If I had just worked on my first marriage, I would not have gotten divorced. I'm the same guy in the second marriage that I was in the first marriage. I gave up too easily.” Nevertheless, when all is said and done, don't be discouraged. Families can be blended. I know quite a few who have done it successfully even though it doesn't come naturally--or easily. Everyone I know who succeeded testify that the struggles were worth it! By the way, the Old Testament practice of marrying multiple wives is known today as bigamy and is against the Law. In America today, don’t miss the fact that bigamy is widespread. We call it “serial polygamy”—we have several husbands or wives over a life time—just not at the same time. I would like to share a wealth of information I have gathered over the years about successfully blending marriages. Most of the practical advice I know came from the suggestions of Christian speaker, author, and counselor, Craig Massey—much of which is outlined below. Blended families have two extra stressors that God never intended. First is someone else's ex. Second is someone else's child! Stress in blended families is not doubled. It goes up exponentially. Here are some other factors which can hinder successful blending. Finances are often given to more than one family. The blended family is born of loss, failure, hurt, and grief. Everyone needs comforting. Everyone in a blended family has a previous history with ingrained living patterns and already built-in value systems. The parent/child bond predates the married couple . A parent and children from a first marriage form a very tight system. There's little time for the new couple to bond before they are thrown into the complex role of parent someone else’s children. The individuals often lack good conflict resolution skills. Complex, informal alliances form which often exacerbate quite dysfunctional relationships. If a step-family is going to fall apart, it usually happens in the first 2 or 3 years. Newly married couples need the most help and support immediately. Unfortunately most blended couples don’t fell the need until it is way too late. Let me share several suggestions that you may find helpful as you go about the work of successfully blending two families into one. 1. Clarify expectations (Proverbs 3:13-15). It is foolish to think that the blended family members will feel like, or relate to each other like a biological family. It can't be done. However, it helps when the children can see people decide to work together, love each other, and begin to form new bonds. 2. Mourn the losses (2 Samuel 12:15-25). Everyone grieves the failure of their original family after a divorce or death. Understanding, patience, wisdom, comfort and love are essential for all. 3. Build a team ((Philippians 2:1-2). Help everybody build new alliances, or friendships, while still maintaining their old ones. A unified team is guaranteed to make the best of a difficult situation. 4. Strengthen your marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33). Since the weakest link in the blended family is the marriage relationship, invest deeply into the life of your new spouse. Too often the strain of raising children is too much for a remarried couple. I know of one Christian stepmom said, "It was the children—not my husband—that I wanted to divorce". 5. Help the children heal (Matthew 18:1-6). Unfortunately, studies reveal that the majority of children whose parents divorce blame themselves for the break ups: "I think that I was born at the wrong time for them, and I caused a lot of problems for them. If I hadn't been born when I was, I think they would still be together.  I should have just acted better when I was little." Children are not always informed as to what is really happening in their failing families and thus are left to put the pieces together as best they can. Too many children begin to think of themselves as one of the puzzle pieces and assume responsibility for the failure. Many struggle with futile dreams like: “When mom and dad get back together everything will be wonderful.” The second futile dream is that somehow, if they can just figure out how, they can put their parent’s marriage back together again. It takes wisdom to help both dreams dissipate slowly! 6. Work hard at conflict resolution (Matthew 5:25-26). All families have conflicts. My experience is that most blended families aren't skilled in conflict resolution. This is especially devastating when they are still working through significant trauma and grief 7. Agree on discipline. Discipline is usually a big battleground (Proverb 13:14). "You're too hard on mine and too easy on yours." Careful planning is necessary. Develop the same set of rules for all children and enforce them fairly and consistently. The natural parent is in the best position to discipline his or her own children because he or she knows his or her children best. 8. Build a strong relationship with God and other believers (Galatians 6:2). Saturate yourself in Bible study and prayer. Jesus alone understands all your feelings, triumphs and defeats. You will need support, someone in whom you can confide, someone who will listen non-judgmentally, and accept you unconditionally. Step-parenting can be a lonely job. A support group will help fulfill Paul's admonition in Galatians 6:2 to bear one another's burdens. 9. Practice agape love and forgiveness (John 13:34-35). Let love—not merely feelings—direct your behavior. An intense feeling of love for step-children may never come; but, that's okay. Keeping a child's best interests at heart and acting in loving ways is marvelous parenting. Practice forgiveness. There will be occasions when you will have to learn to forgive your stepchildren, your spouse, your in-laws, his ex, and others. 10. Don't be in a hurry (Philippians 4:6). Becoming a family takes time. Our society has raised us to believe that we shouldn't have to wait for anything. If you want it, and can't afford it, charge it. This kind of thinking often gets in the way of blending two families. For example, I counsel couples who say, "We just don't think it is going to work with Johnny. We got married a year ago, and he's not adjusting. We're thinking about sending him to live with his father. Most of the time that would be a great mistake. One year is hardly even a beginning. Hang in there. Be patient, success takes time. If you are now in a blending family, my heart goes out to you. I know you have experienced much pain and loss. Life was never designed to be this way and I am so sorry for what has happened to you. Nevertheless, never lose hope. God usually has good days ahead. My prayer is that you will experience them. Well, Anonymous, I wrote your answer mostly to the couple trying to blend two families. When they do their job well, your life can once again fill with joy and delight. I pray for you, too. Love, Roger