This is usually an “Ask Roger” question. But this time, I have a question, and I am going to ask my resident Thanksgiving expert, Tom Terry. Dear Tom, What is the significance of the Thanksgiving holiday, both politically and spiritually? Dear Roger, More than any other, Thanksgiving embodies both religious and political freedoms, and puts them in their proper place. Of the numerous holidays Americans celebrate each year, Thanksgiving is uniquely American, and uniquely Christian. In the early 1600s a small group of devoutly religious men and women sought to worship God according to the dictates of their conscience. These Pilgrims broke from the Anglican church and were persecuted from England to Holland until they boarded the Mayflower and set sail for the New World. The Pilgrims were separatists, seeking to restore the true nature of the Gospel to Christian practices from what they believed were the pollutants of Catholicism and the Anglican Church. Upon arrival, before disembarking their vessel they signed an agreement known as the Mayflower Compact. The text of the agreement included a vision for a new government: Solemnly and mutually in the presence of God and one of another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil body politick, for our better ordering and preservation, and furthering of the ends foresaid: and by virtue to enact, constitute, and frame such just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions, and offices, from time to time as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony; unto which we all promise all due submission and obedience. It was this band of Pilgrims, after having lost half their population to an extreme winter, that stuck to the vision laid out in the Mayflower Compact. They were thankful for more than surviving harsh weather, they were also thankful that God has preserved their society and would see it to its conclusion. Most interesting about the Mayflower Pilgrims is what they did considering who they were. Essentially, they were normal men and women, devoutly religious, who wanted more than to escape the religious pollutions from the home they left. They wanted to build a new society with a new government founded upon the principles they held dear. Their principles were uniquely Christian, and planted the seeds of what would eventually become American liberties. The Mayflower Compact stated its purpose for the new colony’s existence: The “advancement of the Christian faith” and formation of a “civil body politick.” If the Compact made anything clear, it was that the new government of the colony proceeded from the religious convictions of the colonists—religious freedom giving birth to political freedom. In the 21st century we tend to turn things around. We view religious freedom as a guarantee of the State instead of a transformation of the heart. Even under the former regime of the Soviet Union, effective missionary work was viewed as a limited possibility as long as the communist remained in power. When the Iron Curtain fell, American missionary activity in the former Evil Empire surged. Yet American Christians working in Russia discovered that the Russian Church was alive and well. Likewise, American churches have discovered that in communist China a revival is taking place that will surely transform millions in that country. And many of those who have been transformed by their freedom in Christ have turned to political activism to try and free the nation further from the grip of communism. The Mayflower Pilgrims did not develop their convictions about religion, society, or government after they came to the New World. They had those convictions under the heavy hand of religious persecution in their native land. When they came to the New World they could have refused self-government. Instead they established their society for their own preservation. That government and the ones that followed were built squarely upon the foundation laid in their shared faith convictions. Those that would follow in the wake of the Mayflower and the footsteps of William Bradford and the colony he led, would enact laws and draft constitutions guided by many of those same principles Those early founding documents include, The Fundamental Orders of Connecticut, and The Massachusetts Body of Liberties. Most of the first State Constitutions contained language that placed the burden for the survival of America upon the backs of those who lived according to the principles set down in the Bible. Our concept of liberty has chanced in the last three centuries. What we think of as liberty today is anathema to the colonists of the Mayflower. Their reasons for declaring a day of Thanksgiving were quite different than the reasons most Americans celebrate the holiday today. Let us reclaim the holiday’s original meaning. On Thanksgiving take time to read the account that William Bradford wrote of the Plymouth Plantation. For each day after we should let the principles of those first Americans guide our ideas of religious and political freedom. Love, Tom

Dear Roger, Why does God Tell us to pray for the peace of Jerusalem? With everything that is taking place in the Mid-East, it is easy to see Bible prophecy playing out right before our eyes. The Bible is clear about what will happen to Jerusalem before God intervenes, and it isn’t pretty. Yet, we are continually encouraged to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Are our prayers just an exercise in futility or can they actually affect the outcome in that region. Gary Dear Gary, The prayer for the peace for Jerusalem is a sweet prayer of Blessing and peace for the beloved city. The prayer is found in Psalm 12:2:6-9 and is worth repeating: “6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: “May those who love you be secure. 7 May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels.” 8 For the sake of my brothers and friends, I will say, “Peace be within you.” 9 For the sake of the house of the LORD our God, I will seek your prosperity.” Many enslaved Jews have returned home to Jerusalem after 70 years in captivity in Babylon. Nehemiah has rebuilt the wall to bring some sort of security to their ancestral home. Ezra and others soon commenced rebuilding the Temple. Many years will pass before the ultimate destruction of Jerusalem you referenced in the end-time prophecies in the Books of Daniel, Zechariah, Matthew and Revelation. Unfortunately, Jerusalem has been a battle ground ever since the Jewish Return from captivity. The number of battles in the history of Jerusalem is staggering: decimation by Antiochus Epiphanies (200-175 B.C.); total annihilation by the Romans (70 A.D.);multiple Moslem invasions (700-1000 A.D.); the three-fold-European Crusader waves of invasion (1000-1200 A.D.) and the current, ongoing wars between the Arab nations and Israel which began in 1948 A.D. with the War for Independence and continuing with the 1967 Six-Day War, the Yom Kippur War and the present-day battles with Hezbollah—just to mention a few! Jerusalem, perhaps the holiest city of all time is a battle ground and will be until the last times! How sad! So why pray—because prayer can change things! Prayer often works like a safety deposit box at the bank which requires two keys to open. The bank has a key and the bank depositor has a key. When both keys are turned simultaneously the box will open. Answered prayer often occurs when God’s key (His will for a particular situation) combines with the bank depositor’s key (his/her prayers). Our prayers plus His will blend powerfully. So we pray. Who knows how much more destruction and how many more battles might have occurred there if not for the prayers of the concerned. Therefore, praying for Jerusalem is not futile. According to the Biblical-world view we live in a fallen worl d ( Genesis 3:17-19 ) . In fact Jesus recognized that the whole world is currently under the domination of Satan ( Matthew 4:9-10 ). The Book of Revelation is all about God retaking a cursed world back from Satan. In the last chapters of the Book God reveals to us the beauty of what the world will be like for 1000 years during the earthly reign of Jesus Christ! So, we pray for the present peace of Jerusalem—knowing that our prayers can make a difference today—even though we know that as prophecy is fulfilled Jerusalem will become the final-battle ground. Well, Gary, I hope this helps in some ways to answer your question. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I am a pretty new Christian. I have some Bible studies that help me know about the facts of the Bible, but I am not sure how to apply the Bible to my life. Do you have any ideas? Sincerely, JG Dear JG, Let me make this as simple and practical as I can. I am going to share with you two sets of questions that I consider when I am applying a Bible passage to my life. The first set is designed to help us understand what we believe and how we behave. The second set is designed to help us along in our relationships with God and others. Remember the purpose of the Bible is not to make us smart. The purpose of the Bible is to mature us into more loving relationships with God and others. Jesus clarified this i n Matthew 22:37-40 : “One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Christianity is best understood in terms of what we believe, how we behave and how well we relate with God and others. I always try to open my heart and soul to the guidance of the Holy Spirit as I seek to apply a particular teaching to my life. I begin by asking a set of doctrinal and behavioral questions as I progress through the passage: Are there doctrines that God wants me to know and believe? Are there lessons here for me to learn? Are there examples for me to follow? Are there sins for me to avoid? Are there prayers for me to pray? Are there commands for me to obey? Then, I move to the relational questions. I take my time in meditating on these: What does this passage reveal about God’s heart? What does it do to my heart to realize that God wants me to know His heart? Sadden me?  Gladden me? Humble me? Intrigue me? Compassionate me? Anger me? How am I to respond to God and to His response to the people in the text? How will I live to improve and deepen my relationships? How can I better love the people around me? Well, JG, I hope this helps as you allow God to use the Scriptures to mold you more and more into Christ’s image. Thanks for asking. Love, Roger

Hi Roger, I am intrigued with your “One-Sentence Sermon.” I remember hearing about it but I was not there. I would like to hear the story and I’m sure others would too! Kathy Dear Kathy, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God,” said Jesus in Matthew 6:4 . Anyone who desires to see and hear from God needs a pure spiritual heart. Cultivating a pure heart involves not “grieving” God the Holy Spirit ( Ephesians 4:30 ). Sin grieves the Holy Spirit. Few things impair our ability to hear His voice more than a heart soiled by sin. Cultivating a pure heart also involves not “quenching” the Holy Spirit ( 1 Thessalonians 5:19 ). We quench the Holy Spirit when we say “no” to His inner voice. Few things mature enhance our ability to hear God more than saying “yes” to His promptings. Saying “no” causes our inner spirits to shrivel, shrink and darken. Most of us want a pure heart to see and hear God—at any price! For many years Julie and I opened our home every Saturday night and invited anyone from our church family to meet with us for prayer. One Saturday night I had a deep impression that God was saying to me, “Roger, in the morning, I don’t want you to preach your usual sermon. I want you to walk to the microphone and say, ‘It is not possible to be content in your sins and really be a Christian.’ Then walk off the stage.” “That was strange,” I thought to myself—and promptly dismissed it from mind. Ten minutes later the same overpowering impression arose. I replied, “But, God, why would I want to do that? My sermon is ready to preach! It’s a good sermon.” God said, “No. Tomorrow, I want you to walk to the microphone, and say, ‘It is not possible to be content in your sins and really be a Christian.’ Then walk off the stage.” When the prayer meeting was over, I said to Julie, “The strangest thing happened to me tonight. I had this deep impression that God told me not to preach my sermon tomorrow.” I repeated His instructions to her. She replied, “You’re not really going to do that, are you?” “I don’t know. I don’t know.” Sleep came uneasily that night. I value my sermons highly. I never want to do anything stupid or desecrating or unholy during my preaching. The next morning when the clock alarm sounded Julie’s first words were, “You’re not really going to do that, are you?” “I don’t know.” When I gathered with my staff for our early Sunday morning prayer time I thought to myself, “I’ll tell these folks what I intend to do. That way it won’t be a total shock.” I sensed God say, “No, Roger. You may not tell a soul.” The first service began. Soon, it was my turn to preach. I walked to the pulpit and said, “It is not possible to be content with your sin, and really be a Christian.” I walked off the stage. Our worship leader whispered nervously as I passed him on the way off the platform, “Where are you going? Where are you going?” God said to me, “You can’t say a word.” I walked off the stage, down the stairs, out the side door, around the church building, into my office, opened the door, went inside, closed the door, and fell on my knees and wept: “Oh God! Oh God! How could you do this to me?” I had humiliated myself. Later I learned of the pandemonium in the worship center: “What happened?” “Did he retire?” “I think he had a nervous breakdown!” Finally, our worship leader led a couple of songs and dismissed the crowd. I had to repeat my “performance” for two more services that Sunday morning. Everyone in the final service knew what was coming. But, I did my duty. I did what I felt God told me to do. I preached my one-sentence sermon. I would like to tell you that hundreds of people came to know Christ as a result of that sermon. I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t know of a single soul who received Christ or whose life that was changed because of my one-sentence sermon. I can’t. I did not receive a single note or email about my actions that day. No one ever mentioned it to me at all. It was as if my one-sentence sermon never happened. Several months after preaching the one-sentence sermon I heard God deep in my inner spirit explaining that my one-sentence sermon was for me —not for the church. Was I willing to hear Him speak at any price—even to the point of my personal humiliation (see Isaiah 20 )? That sermon was not only a test, it was a time of strengthening and maturing my inner-most spirit. After all, I was praying to become a spiritual father at any price. Of course, God does not ask every Believer to preach a one-sentence sermon. But, I do believe that Jesus Christ engineers multiple opportunities for His children to grow and mature dramatically by their positive responses to the speaking of His voice deep within. Well, Kathy, that is the story of the one-sentence sermon. It was somewhat unusual; however, one of my preaching mentors would certainly have enjoyed it. He once said to me, “There is no such thing as a bad-short sermon. For example, I’m sure that the people in our third service loved the one-sentence sermon. They were first in line at the cafeteria that Sunday! Thanks again, Kathy, for asking the question. I hope it helps. Love,Roger

Dear Roger, I was at the soccer field, sitting next to one of my Bible group friends, when my 10-year-old made a goal. I said to my friend, “I’m so proud of him." My friend replied, “It’s a sin to be proud. The Bible teaches that God hates pride.” Is that right? Samantha Dear Samantha, There is a giant difference between being “proud” of someone else and having “pride” in yourself … and it’s a spiritual difference worth studying. WHAT IS PRIDE? Pastor and Theologian Charles Finney described pride as “a disposition to exalt self, to get above others, to hide our defects, and to pass for more than we are." Founding Father Daniel Webster called pride “inordinate self-esteem; conceit; ostentatious display." My definition? “Pride is an over-concern with myself.” Pride destroys our relationship with God and others. It also makes us stupid! Here’s one of my favorite stories: A minister, a Boy Scout, and a computer expert were the only passengers on a small plane. The pilot said that the plane was going down but there were only three parachutes and four people. The pilot added, “ I should have one of the parachutes because I have a wife and three small children.” So he took one and jumped. The computer whiz said, “I should have one because I am the smartest man in the world and everyone needs me.” So he took one and jumped. The minister turned to the Boy Scout and with a said smile said, “You are young and I have lived a rich life, so you take the last parachute and I’ll go down with the plane.” The Boy Scout said, “Relax, Reverend, there are still two parachutes left. The smartest man in the world just picked up my knapsack and jumped out!” I wanted to be the best pastor God ever had. I imagined walking through St. Peter’s Gate into heaven and hearing God say, “Oh, Roger, You’re finally here! You were the best pastor I ever had! You did things Moses never did!” I thought that growing a big church made me a great pastor. But in truth, is this not pure, unadulterated, ugly pride? Pride is a secret fondness to be noticed. Pride is a love of supremacy. Pride is drawing attention to yourself in conversation. Pride is enjoying being flattered. Pride is a swelling out of self when we’re free to speak or to pray. Pride is loving to have your name at the top of the list. Pride is when the praise of men is sweet to your taste. A “Christianity Today” survey of almost one hundred pastors of large churches revealed a great passion to build a large church, but not a corresponding passion to know God. That breaks my heart … I know it breaks God’s too. WHY DOES GOD HATE PRIDE? God is not out to hurt our pride.  He's out to kill it . In Proverbs 8:13, He declares, “I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” King Solomon writes in Proverbs 16:5, “The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: ‘They will not go unpunished.’” When we understand why God hates pride so deeply, we will hate it, too! 1. God Hates Pride Because Of The Absolute Devastation That Comes Through IT. Proverbs 16:18 teaches that “ Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Satan was the worship leader in heaven until he got proud. He said, “I will ascend to heaven. I will be like God.” This is simply unadulterated pride. God and Satan were no longer friends; in fact, they were now archenemies. Satan tempted Adam and Eve. Once again we see unadulterated pride:  "You can be like God." They never walked together in the Garden again … and our sinful, ugly, broken world is the direct result of pride. 2. GOD HATES PRIDE BECAUSE IT RUINS RELATIONSHIPS. Proverbs 13:10 says, "Pride only breeds quarrels." Proverbs 6:16-19 declares, “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes lying tongue, … and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” What begins with pride ends with fighting among brothers! Once upon a time we needed new baby cribs for the church nursery. About half the women wanted steel and the other half wanted wood. The church family watched them “duke it out” at a Wednesday night business meeting. No one won. But from the best I could tell, both sides were left “cut and bleeding” by the side of the road. Just think of how many church fights occurred because someone got proud! How many homes and civilizations are destroyed because of pride and selfishness? 3. GOD HATES PRIDE BECAUSE PRIDE IS AN OVER-CONCERN WITH MYSELF. The Bible says that our “self” is the person that we are. It is often good and holy. Paul called this our new nature as Christians. There are times when our “self” is wicked and sinful. Paul calls this our “sin nature.” Our sin nature manifests itself in three ways. Look carefully and you will realize that every single sin in the Bible traces back to one or all of these three activities of the “self.”   Self-Reliance : “If I have a problem I don’t need you or anyone else to help. I can take care of it myself.” This is a superiority complex. Self-Centeredness : “I will take from you to meet my wants and needs.” This also is a superiority complex. “I am more important than you are!” Self-Condemnation : “I’d love to do things for God but I’m not worth much. I can’t do much. God’s not interested in using me.” This is an inferiority complex. My wife Julie was sharing that she hated to ask anyone for help. Self-reliant and exhausted, she worked tirelessly in her music ministry until she realized her self-reliance was a form of pride. God wanted to bless others by coming alongside of her. What freedom! 5. Pride ruins our ability to fulfill the Greatest Commandment to Love God and Love Others. Can you imagine that if you are filled with self-reliance, self-centeredness and self-condemnation that you would have a difficult time fulfilling Matthew 22:37-40? Matthew 22:37-40: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” 6. GOD HATES PRIDE BECAUSE PRIDE IS SO DECEPTIVE THAT WE MIGHT MISS IT FOR WHAT IT IS. Author and theologian C.S. Lewis wrote, “There is one vice of which no man in the world is free, which everyone loathes when he sees it in someone else, and of which hardly anyone imagines that he is guilty. . . I am talking of pride.” People admit that they are bad-tempered, cowards, jealous, bitter.  But few accuse themselves of pride. Why did Pastor “Jones” have an affair? Of course he had some needs and tried to meet them in another person (self-centered selfishness). But the bottom line was pride. He thought he was above all else and somehow would get caught. Why did “Bill” the worship leader almost have an affair? He laid his eyes on a woman in the choir and began to lust. He arranged for her to accompany him to a music conference in California. Unfortunately for him, he used MasterCard to pay for the tickets and had them sent to his house. All I can think of is that he was so blinded by the deceitfulness of sin that he did something really stupid! 7. GOD HATES PRIDE BECAUSE WE DEVALUE HIS IMAGE IN US. The flip side of pride is self-condemnation , or what we might call an inferiority complex. David wrote in Psalm 139: 13-14: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” I heard of a man who came running out of a Psychiatrist's office. He was so excited. He gleefully said, "I found out in there I don't have an inferiority complex! I am just inferior!" Of course, some are extroverts and some are introverts. Both sides of the coin are capable of self-condemnation. I'm suggesting that our self-condemnation and fear of what people think of us are nothing more than the flip side of pride, which is sin. Why are you always withdrawing? Why? What's the problem? Perhaps you're afraid? You're afraid of what others will think of you. This is pride! HUMILITY IS THE ANTIDOTE TO PRIDE James taught us that humility is a verb: "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:7-10 NIV What does humility look like? Humility has many faces. Humility is allowing our needs to be met in the context of others. Humility is washing dirty feet. Humility is receiving a complement or a gift without trying to give it back. Humility is having a heart of service to meet the needs of others. Humility is love and comforting others. Humility is tenderness and compassion. Humility is driving out selfish ambition and vain conceit. Humility is caring for the sheep on the back side of the mountain when no one else is around to see. Humility is considering others better than yourself. Humility is following in the footsteps of Jesus. Only one time in all the Scriptures does Jesus describe his character. He described himself as “gentle and humble of heart” (Matthew 11:29). Look at Jesus! “Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became  human. Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a brutal crucifixion.” Phil. 2: 5-8 MSG WHAT IS “PROUD”? Samantha, we’ve taken a long look at pride. We know what it is. On the other hand, “proud” has to do with feeling good about ourselves and rejoicing in the goodness and the accomplishment of others. It’s okay to be proud of your son; just don’t become arrogant and obnoxious. Humility exhibits the attitude of John the Baptist when he was confronted with the fact that Jesus was baptizing more than he was! He simply said, “He must become greater, I must become less” (John 3:30). John pointed the way to Jesus … many times he revealed that he was proud and humbled to pave the way for the Messiah. My spiritual mother, Doris Wanslee, is the most humble person I’ve ever met. She prays earnestly for others. She constantly affirms and encourages those around her. Now, at the age of 90, Doris still leads prayer meetings for our church and attends every Sunday without fail. When I see Doris, I see Jesus. Samantha, your son should always know you are proud of him! Affirm him. Encourage him. Love him unconditionally. But as he grows up, teach him to be selfless and humble. Samantha, I know that I answered more than you asked; nevertheless, I hope this is helpful. Sincerely, Roger

Hello Roger, Church is killing me. It started out that my husband, Ben, was serving with five or six other people several times a month on the soundboard. That has since dwindled to two people who serve one week a month. The rest of the time Ben is alone. He has had one Sunday off in the last six months. I work alone on Wednesday night soundboard (a two-person job) and have for the last six months or so. We have been begging for help for months. In order to get us some help, my pastor made it mandatory for everyone who serves on the worship team to help on soundboard rotationally. That was over two months ago, and not a single person has even agreed to be trained. The pastor hasn't followed up on it, let alone enforced it. I used to read my Bible for 30 minutes every day, and I know my husband spent daily time in the Word as well. Between practices, services, and all special events we practically live at our church and don't have time as a family anymore … much less the time or energy for spiritual things. Yet the church keeps asking for more with no end in sight. So, the question stands, do I continue to fight the good fight, do I set down some ground rules to make a change, or do I simply leave and find a new church with a servant’s heart? Waiting for your input, Kirsten Dear Kirsten, In today's culture, people just aren’t volunteering in the church anymore. We’re all “busy,” and serving just isn’t a priority. So many figure that someone else will help out … and after a while, no one is left. When a church finds someone who is willing to volunteer, they oftentimes over-utilize them, asking for more and more until the once-excited servant is completely burned out and exhausted. Obviously, you were pushed and pushed, and now you’re experiencing total burnout. First, I see no need for you to leave your church. Since you have so many ties, it would be a shame to lose those friends and relationships and start over again in a new place. SO LET ME SHARE SOME THOUGHTS ON HOW TO GET WELL FROM CHURCH BURN OUT. 1. TAKE SOME NOURISHMENT AND THEN ENJOY A LONG NAP. After Elijah defeated Jezebel’s 400 prophets of Baal, the wicked Queen declared that she would kill Elijah that very day (1 Kings 18). Elijah took off running. He ran and he ran until he came to Beersheba in southern Israel. After running scores of miles, he reached the mountain of Horeb in southern Judah; he felt exhausted and burned out. Presently an angel arrived, awakened him, and gave him food to eat. He was still burned out and hurting, so after falling asleep a second time, the angel reappeared and gave him nourishment. As he recovered, God reengaged Elijah in ministry. Just recently, forty master level students at MIT participated in a research project that kept them awake for 48 hours. They then were given EEG scans and discovered that a student kept awake for 48 hours has basically the same brain scan as a schizophrenic. Have a good meal and go to sleep … in other words, take time to care for your physical needs. You can’t begin to recover mentally, emotionally, or spiritually until you’ve recovered physically. That takes time. Make it a priority. 2. SET BOUNDARIES Jesus set boundaries on his ministerial activities. He knew when it was time to draw away from the crowds to pray and rest and recover from the rigors of ministry. Give your pastor at least one more month to make a transition to new workers. But tell him that after one month, you plan to retire and take time to heal and get well. Ultimately, it is not your responsibility to staff every church ministry with volunteers, including your chosen ministry. That is the pastor's job. It's like leaving your job at work. You give two to four weeks notice so the company can make plans for the transition, and then you leave. Set a boundary which says you will not work at the soundboard until you recover from burnout. 3. GO TO A CHURCH HOSPITAL AND SIT ON THE BACK ROW. Recognize that you are wounded and spiritually exhausted. It’s time to go to a church hospital behind the lines and recover. I have dealt with many people over the years who come to our church after being burned out in another church. My advice is always the same. Sit back and just enjoy your worship and church experience. It may take a while, but there comes a time when you can reengage in ministry. Nevertheless, take your time. So take a break and remember not to reengage too soon. There’s plenty of ministry for you in the days ahead. And often, after healing and resting, you’ll be able to return to your church with strength. 4. CONSTANTLY MONITOR YOUR SPIRITUAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL GAUGES. Most burned out churchgoers are greatly overextended in one or more of these four areas. And frankly, if you overextend in any of them it’s no wonder that you are burned out. It’s okay to say “No” in order to keep your life in balance. Jonah burned out. God told him to go to Nineveh and tell them to repent. Jonah wanted Israel’s greatest enemy to be destroyed. He was mentally confused about God’s intentions. After spending three days and nights inside a great fish he obeyed, went to Nineveh, and the whole city repented and turned to Jehovah. But when Nineveh repented, Jonah got angry at God. Instead of rejoicing that an entire city came to Jehovah, he got angry and complained that God was a hard task master (Matthew 25:24-26). God often becomes a hard task master when we burn out … but when we say “No” and heal, we’re better able to see His plans for us. 5. REFUSE TO OVEREXTEND YOURSELF. David wrote Psalm 131: “O, Lord my eyes are not proud. I do not occupy myself with things too high and mighty for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a child that is quieted at its mother’s breast, like a child that is quieted is my soul.” He simply stopped. Period. In this situation, I’m always reminded of Arnold Palmer’s Pennzoil tractor. In a TV commercial he stood beside his tractor and declared that it was over 80 years old, thanks to regular maintenance with Pennzoil. Instead of burning out after several short years of ministry, let’s change the oil regularly and enjoy a long, profitable and satisfying ministry for many years to come. So Kirsten, learn a lesson for next time. Before re-engaging in service, check to see that your spiritual, mental physical, and emotional gauges are well within the monitoring lines for health and balance. Keep the machine well oiled. Please let me know how things are coming along, Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, A man in our small group mentioned the seven deadly sins. I’ve heard about them but I’m wondering just which sins they are. Why are they more deadly than any other sin? Can you explain this to me? Sincerely, Jack Dear Jack, “Why don’t you pastors get together and make a list of sins so we all will know what they are?” she asked. “The problem,” I replied, “is that every pastor would have a different list!” The idea of the seven deadly sins isn’t new. The seven deadly sins have been around since early Christianity. The Roman Catholic Church came up with the list and declared that every possible sin was spawned, in one way or other, from these seven. Personally, I would narrow it down and say that pride is the root of all sins. These seven are often tied to Proverbs 6:16-19 where we find a list of the six things that God hates The early Roman Catholic Church taught that these sins could not be forgiven. However, according to the Bible these seven deadly sins are completely forgivable by God. The only sin which cannot be forgiven is the sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit., This occurs when the Holy Spirit tells an individual that he/she needs to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. When that person says, “No, I don’t need him to forgive my sins,” he/she has called the Holy Spirit a liar which is the meaning of blaspheming the Holy Spirit. This is the unforgivable sin. God can forgive every sin except saying “no” to Jesus and his forgiveness of sin. PRIDE Once upon a time a loving mother told me how proud she was of her son and the good choices that he was making. “What I want to know,” she asked,” is if it is okay to be proud of my son when the Bible says that pride is a sin?” “Of course you can tell your son how proud you are of him,” I said. Pride is an over-concern with myself. Pride is a two-edged sword. On the one hand, some people are all out front in a way that purposely calls attention to themselves and to their accomplishments. When they enter the front door, everyone else is backdoor. Pride says people, “I’m better than you.” Pride was Satan’s problem at the creation. He thought that he could be as good, if not better, than God himself. It’s one thing to think too highly of yourself; it’s another thing to think too little of yourself. These self-deprecators are often gathered at the back door, reluctant to move out into life because they are afraid of what people may think of them. I call this the flip side of pride. It is a twisted over-concern with themselves. Romans 12:3: “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Don’t think of yourself too lowly either. LUST When we think of lust we think of sex. However, we all know that it’s possible to lust for things other than sex--like money, power, fame or control. As a result, we might define lust as an over-craving, inappropriate, desire in any number of areas. Of course, we naturally associate lust with sex. Most all of us will be tempted with lust at one time or another. Remember that it is not a sin to be tempted. The sin comes when we began to dwell on it. You have probably heard the old adage, “We cannot keep the birds flying over our heads; but we certainly can keep them from nesting in our hair. GREED Greed is an overarching desire for material wealth or gain. The saddest manifestation of greed is hoarding whereby an individual gathers material wealth that is never released to help people in need. First Timothy 6:9-10: “Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” “Pierced themselves,” are Greek words that describe roasting meat on a spit over an open fire. Paul says that the greedy are slowly roasted by the very things they consider so near and dear to their hearts. SLOTH Sloth is excessive physical laziness or the failure to utilize one’s talents. Sloth is avoiding work. Let me say a word to parents about lazy teenagers. Children are programmed to get up early— full of energy and ready to go. Teenagers on the other hand, are programmed to sleep a little later. This has to do with energy. It has always intrigued me that many school districts begin school early for teenagers and later for children. This is exactly the opposite of human behavior. In our culture we have extended adolescence into the middle and late twenties. This is an aberration to the normal order of things. In most cultures females are considered ready for marriage when they began menstruation. The main function of young females is reproduction. Therefore, their bodies are programmed to save energy that’s needed for the baby. Colossians 4:5: “Walk in wisdom towards them that are without, redeeming the time because the days are evil (KJV).) WRATH Wrath transcends anger. It’s possible to be angry and keep our feelings and emotions in line so that we may respond properly. On the other hand, when anger degenerates to wrath our intentions turn to hurting and bringing pain to those who hurt us. While anger itself isn’t a sin, out of control anger and hate often lead to wrath which is a sin. When wrath begins to take over, we forget about forgiveness. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, … for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord’”. (Romans 12:19). ENVY Jealousy wants what someone else hands. Envy wants them not to have it. Proverb 14:30: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” GLUTTONY Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than we need. Gluttony overindulges to the point that waste enters the picture. We usually associate gluttony with overeating. However, gluttony can occur in many arenas. Gluttony leads us to waste things needed by others. The operative words here are, “self-control.” Proverb 16:32: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” Proverb 25:28: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” By the way, don’t miss the fact that of the seven deadly sins, gluttony is the only one that is a sin of the flesh. All the others are sins of the spirit. What is the Cure for These Sins? The cure for the seven sins it’s like the cure for any sins. We experience godly sorrow by picturing Jesus’ broken heart as he watched us do what we did. 2 Corinthians 7:10: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” Next, we confess to God that what we did was wrong and we repent by declaring that we’ve turned around and have no intention of continuing in that sin. Finally, we ask God for forgiveness, and fill our hearts with gratitude because he promises to forgive us fully. 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Jack, let me close my thoughts with a favorite passages which describes how God cleans us up after we sin. Ezekiel 36:26-27: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you will keep my judgments and do them.” Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I have an inoperable brain tumor. The pain is increasing. I am on heavy pain medicines. It still hurts. I’ve read several articles on dealing with pain, done some study, and used my coping mechanisms. They help a lot; however, I would like your thoughts from a more spiritual setting to give me some peace. Can you help me? I’ve decided that the problem with pain is... that it hurts. Sincerely, Chris Dear Chris, I am so sorry for your pain. I am sorry that the tumor is inoperable; and I grieve for you over your suffering. I’ve had my share of pain. I have spent hours in the “devil’s grip” when my heart contracted so violently the strongest painkillers couldn’t dull the pain. I have ridden the “lightning” of a defibrillator at highest strength. I have been through multiple surgeries… I understand pain. So, I’ll give you my thoughts about the things that matter most to me when I’m in pain. I’ve always found the book of James to be helpful in handling the subject. 1. I remind myself of the purpose of pain. James reiterates the purpose of pain succinctly in  James 1:1-4 :  “Count it all joy when you fall into all kinds of trials and troubles, knowing that the trying of our faith has a design.”  God ultimately intends to mold us into the image of Jesus. There is no growth apart from tension. Spiritual maturity comes quite slowly when all is well. God knows that the best climate for making us just like Jesus is the crucible of fire and testing. After all,  Hebrews 5:8  tells us that Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. If His sufferings were instrumental in His maturity, why should we think it might be different for us? "I walked a mile with Pleasure, she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser, for all she had to say. I walked a mile with sorrow, and ne'er a word said she; But, oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me." 2. I try to find some joy. Of course, no one can be happy for their pain. However, both James and Paul declare that we can experience joy, even when we are walking through our pain (read Philippians chapters 1-4). "Count it all joy" is an incredibly unnatural reaction! However, finding joy is supernatural… it is a gift from God’s heart to you and me just when we need it most ( James 1:2-3 ). When difficulties come to an immature Christian, he or she evaluates the pain and often gets angry, or bitter, discouraged and they say something like, “I quit” or “I’ll never go to church again.” On the other hand, the mature Christian says, "The last time I had difficulty, I faced it and grew. I'll see what God can teach me now." This is joy! The fence has two sides. On God’s side the language is Praise! On the self-side the language is “Gripe and Complain.” One side is joy and the other is misery. One of my favorite authors, Pastor A.W. Tozer, wrote, “Suffering breeds compassion or bitterness. We must choose.” In the midst of pain, we have a decision to make. We must choose one side or the other. Unfortunately, too many Christians try to do both. Remember, the only trouble with straddling the fence is that it always hurts in the middle! ( James 1:5-8 ). 3. I try to remind myself that the world is filled with suffering people. I just happen to be one of them. Sometimes, we may feel like we are getting picked on, that things aren’t fair, or that God doesn’t like us. Think about this: in our immediate family we have three cancer survivors, heart and nervous system issues, countless surgeries, serious immune disorders, and brain issues. Your family is probably the same. God never promised that when we became Christians, all of our problems would be over. In fact, the  Bible  teaches just the opposite. Pain, problems, and trials are not optional. They are essential. Pain and suffering are not an elective course that we can take or leave. They are required if we want to become more like Jesus. 4. I remind myself that pain produces patience ( James 1:3-4 ). We all want patience; but few of us want the process. The process for developing patience is fiery trials and troubles. A student of Dr. Harry Ironside asked him to pray that he might have more patience. Dr. Ironside began to pray, "Lord, send him troubles.” The young student stopped Ironside in the middle of his prayer; “No! No! I didn’t say problems, I said patience.” Ironside again begin to pray: “Lord, send this young man some problems.” “No! No!” interrupted the young man. “I asked you to pray that I will have more patience.” Ironside replied, “Don’t you understand? Problems and troubles are what produce patience.” The Greek word for “patience” is "Hupomone". This is the ability to bear great pain while turning them into glory. We Christians are not without problems. Fortunately, we have the Problem Solver living within. Jesus can pour in the power and give us the grace to endure in the midst of our pain and suffering. 5. God promised that if I ask for wisdom as to why I am experiencing a particular pain, he will tell me ( James 1:5-9 ). James is saying, "Look, when we are in the midst of the troubles and we need wisdom as to how to handle it, ask God for wisdom and He will tell you what to do.” I have a list of the questions I ask God when I am struggling with a pain. Is this suffering designed to bring God glory? Is this suffering the result of a sin I have committed? Is this suffering to mature me to be more like Jesus? Is this sickness the result of the fallen world in which we live? Is this trial the result of some spiritual battle in the spirit realm? Is this suffering the result of following Christ? Is this suffering the result of doing good? Is this suffering intended to keep me from future sin? Is this suffering designed to increase my faith and dependence on God? 6. I try not to waste my experience. How can we waste our experiences? We can run away from them. We can wallow in self-pity. We can get angry, bitter, depressed, or give up. We can waver back and forth trying to see whether or not we are committed to God and His plan, whatever it might entail. Nothing ever says that we must understand what God's purpose is in our lives. It simply sufficient to know that God has a purpose. That's where we must rest our case. We are not smart enough to know all that He's accomplishing. So it becomes a matter of trust. 7. It’s okay to endure some pain when we’re heading for king territory ( James 1:9-11 ). Not until we come to the place where we can distinguish between the permanent and the perishability of things will our pain ever make sense. I watched as the house of one our church members burned to the ground. He lost it all. Standing on the sidewalk, he cursed God, the fire department, the firemen, the fire, the neighbors for not getting a garden hose to help. Of course, he used language that I can’t repeat. I watched his behavior, and I thought to myself, "What would I lose if that happened to my house?" If tomorrow I were to lose my personal possessions or my health, would I have anything left? The answer is, “Of course, I have something left. I have the treasures that I have laid up in heaven.” When I was a boy, I played a lot of checkers. I considered myself to be the champion checker player of our neighborhood. However, one of the older children on our block was said to be best. I reasoned that was only because he hadn't played me. One day he challenged me to a game. Before he could say another word, I was seated at one side of board setting up checkers. He said, "You go first." I thought, "Okay, I'll set the pattern to the game." We exchanged a few checkers. Pretty soon he fed me a checker and said, "Jump me." I jumped him. He fed me another checker, "Jump me." I jumped him. Another. This was even easier than I thought. To this day, I can still remember the smile on his face as he took a checker and went, plop, plop, plop, plop... "King me."  King me! He knocked every checker I had off of the board with one turn! No good checker player minds losing a few checkers when he or she is headed for king territory. Here’s the best advice and comfort I could possibly give to you: “Count it all joy when you fall into all kinds of trials and troubles, knowing that the trying of our faith is designed to mature us to look just like Jesus!” Again, to you, Chris, I hope this is helpful. May God give you great grace for the days ahead as he molds us to be like Jesus. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger,  What do you think about the following marriage situation - An unbeliever commits numerous acts of adultery while single, then deceives a believer into getting married. Does the unbeliever carry the sin over into the marriage? If so, does the believer have biblical grounds for divorce? Thanks for your consideration. DK Dear DK, You ask, “What do I think about the situation??” I think that it is sad and painful. Nevertheless, it’s possible, if the right things fall into place, to have a great marriage even under these circumstances. You asked, “Does the deceitful, sexually sinful individual carry those sins over into the marriage??” Yes, without a doubt.  Whether or not you have biblical grounds for divorce depends on whether or not the unbeliever becomes a believer-- as well and several factors. First, you may choose to stay married. There is nothing that says that you must get a divorce even if you have justifiable reasons. Second, if the unbeliever repents of his/her past sins, confesses and receives Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, then grace covers and forgiveness cleanses. The foundation for a successful Christian marriage is now in place. Of course, both partners have much psychological healing to do because of the hurts, real and/or imagined, which exist both within and between the couple. There are no grounds for a biblical divorce in this situation.  Third, Paul taught in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that if an unbelieving spouse wants out of the marriage then the believer has grounds for a biblical divorce.  Fourth, Paul taught in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that if an unbeliever is married to a believer and the unbeliever wants to stay married, then the believer has no grounds for divorce. Hopefully he/she may guide their partner into a salvation relationship with Jesus.  Fifth, marriage is a contract which is based on honesty and trust between two or more parties. A contract which is entered into based on deception and deceit is a fraud. Therefore, it is not a valid contract and cannot be legally binding or enforced. The Bible is filled with contracts. In the Old Testament they are often identified as covenants. God made many covenants with Israel and when Israel sinned, and failed to hold up their end of the contract, God felt no obligation to hold up his end either.  Although it is never strictly said, following the biblical guidelines of a covenant, since your marriage was based on a deceitful lie there is no valid contract between you two. You can get divorced with a clear conscience. I’m sorry, DK, for the awkwardness in which you find yourself. I do understand that you might be asking this question for another, and if so, I hope that my answer is helpful for your friend as well. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, Last week I helped lead my friend to Christ. It’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. She began crying as she confessed her sins and prayed to receive Christ. I want to do it again! I know that we’re supposed to pray and know the gospel so we can tell it to others. Is there more that you can share with me about reaching people for Christ? I once heard a preacher say that 98% of all Christians never lead anyone to Jesus as their Savior. I do not want to be like one of those. Sincerely, Craig Dear Craig, I’m going to answer your question with a series of stories. Jesus loved teaching with simple stories and parables. Why? Because the most profound truths are often communicated with short sayings, stories and parables. Or, as Harry A. Ironside used to say, “Put the cookies on the lower shelf where everyone can get to them.” In reaching people I have discovered that there is one thing that I intend to hang on to, and three things that I want to give up. A Loving Concern For People Is Worth Keeping. Our Luxuries Aren’t Worth Keeping. Our Rights Aren’t Worth Keeping. Our Prejudices Aren’t Worth Keeping. A LOVING CONCERN FOR PEOPLE IS WORTH KEEPING (1 Corinthians 9:1-27). Let me tell you about a department-store-sales woman who was hanging on to love and compassion while laying aside her rights and prejudices. This associate minister at a Presbyterian church in Hollywood loved to go to Nordstrom’s department store during the Christmas holidays. She couldn’t afford to buy, but she loved the decorations. The finest dresses in the world were on the top floor. Presently, an elevator door elevator opened and out stepped a bag lady. Her clothes were dirty; her stockings were rolled down to ankles, her gym bag was overstuffed with stuff. Obviously, she was out of place. Most likely she had a dollar or two in her purse-but she needed several thousands of them! The Saleswoman asked, “May I help you, madam?” “Yeah, I want to buy a dress.” “What kind of dress?” “A party dress.” “You’ve come to the right place! We have the finest party dresses in the world.” They spent 45 minutes matching dresses with her eye color and complexion. They selected three dresses and invited her to the dressing room. The bag lady tried on dresses with the saleswoman’s help. After about 20 more minutes, the bag lady said sternly, “I’ve changed my mind. I am not going to buy a dress today.” “That’s OK,” the saleswoman said gently, but, here’s my card. Should you ever come back to Nordstrom’s again, I do hope that you will ask for me. I would consider it a privilege to wait on you again.” This, of course, is exactly what Jesus would do, if Jesus were a saleswoman in Nordstrom’s. Please take a moment and interact with this story. Has an expression of your love ever reached someone for Christ? OUR LUXURIES AREN’T WORTH KEEPING (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). Paul had a race course in mind. He was thinking about athletics: “I beat my body black and blue.” If we want to stay usable to God, we must deny ourselves soft living. The trip home from Korea was brutal. With layovers, changed flights and mechanical problems, I hadn’t slept in 30 hours and still far from home. Our plane was late into the Los Angeles airport. The last flight to Tucson was scheduled to board soon. I had to run to a different concourse. Clearing security was a nightmare. I had to run to a different concourse. I just made it. All I wanted to do was sleep. I was seated next to a lawyer coming to Tucson for a deposition. As we talked the door opened to share the gospel. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a simple Bible story about Heaven and Hell. I let him read the good things in store for those who receive Christ as their Lord and Savior. Then, I showed him how at death God would play back a movie of all his sins and judge him accordingly. The little book concluded by detailing the coming Lake of Fire as judgment upon all of those who tried to make heaven by their actions. Everyone needs Jesus. He was under deep conviction as I invited him to pray to receive Christ as his Savior. He was sweating. He loosened his tie and finally shook his head “No”. We talked until Tucson. I told him that I would pray and fast for him to become a Christian. I called him occasionally to see how he was doing; but, we never crossed paths again. Sleep might’ve been a luxury; however, at that moment it just didn’t matter. Please take a moment and meditate on this story. Have you denied your luxuries to lavish them upon someone else? OUR RIGHTS ARE NOT WORTH KEEPING (First Corinthians 9:1-18). The apostle Paul gave up many of his rights in order to reach others for Christ I’ll paraphrase: “I gave up my rights for the sake of the gospel! I gave up my right to food and drink. I gave up my right to be married. I gave up my right to receive a salary. Others receive support; but I gave up my right to it. Why? So that I can offer the gospel free of charge.” I was waiting to board a flight to Tulsa, Oklahoma, when the man sitting next to the struck up a conversation. “My wife told me that I didn’t have enough friends,” he said, “so I bought a dog. After all, people say that a dog is man’s best friend! A door was wide open to share the gospel: “What a friend we have in Jesus.” They called my flight for the final time. It was a tough choice; nevertheless, I gave up my right to board because we weren’t finished. The story has a good ending. He received Christ and two standbys later I boarded a plane to Tulsa. Stop and reflect on this. When was the last time that you gave up one of your rights to further the cause of Christ? OUR PREJUDICES ARE NOT WORTH KEEPING (1 Corinthians 9:19-23). Before Paul became a Christian he was deeply imbedded in prejudice.  After he became a Christian, God tore down his racial prejudices so he could build bridges from any man straight to Christ. Paul said: “To the Jews I became like a Jew.”  His motive was clearly to win Jews to Christ. “To those who are without the law, I became as without the law.”  Paul was willing to live like a Gentile when he worked among the Gentiles. “To the weak I became weak.”  Paul was willing to do anything to reach those who did not understand the gospel. I pastored my first church when I was in college. Every Sunday, my wife Julie and I, spent time visiting our church families. One day, we crested a hill to find a number of houses we had not noticed before. We discovered later that this was what the white people called “Colored Town.” (This despicable term was used by white people to describe African-Americans for way too many generations. Racial prejudice was rampant for centuries in America. Before the church service that night, our one deacon, Mr. Beard, pulled me aside and warned me not to go there again. I was shocked. I was flabbergasted. I decided not to make a big issue of it at that time. I decided to spend the next year preaching on love and compassion for people of all races. One year later black families were welcomed in our church. Many of us are prejudiced against folks who are not Christians. Many of us are prejudiced against Jews, Muslims or people who are not like us. Many of us are locked in a little circle of Christian friends. Very seldom do we take the plunge outside our small group to spend time with folks who know not Jesus. Now, Greg, take a moment and identify some of your prejudices. We all have some. Ask God to clear your heart and soul of the prejudices you quietly harbor. May I share one more story that illustrates all four of these reaching people concepts? One hot July afternoon my younger daughter, Bronwyn, invited me to go downtown with $25 and help some poor people. She had just returned from The Continentals singing missionary tour and this was one of their exercises. We stopped at the grocery store to buy mayonnaise, bread, baloney and power bars. We bought paper sacks and had enough lunches for twelve people. The park was filled with men and women who were down and out on their luck. I began to hand out the sandwich bags and Bronwyn said, "Aren't you going to talk with them? Nobody ever takes time to talk with them. Why don't you slow down and spend some time with them?" This was not easy for me. I was not having any fun. Finally, it was over and we went home. The next Sunday, she went again. I really had no desire to go, but I had to set a good example of my love and concern for people, so I agreed. I headed for the grocery store and she said, "No, not this time. Let's do something different." We went to the thrift store on Fourth Street. I intended to pay for someone's purchases. After a while a woman entered the store with two children. I watched her select some clothes and let each child pick out one toy. As she approached the checkout register I introduced myself and told her that I would be pleased to pay for her purchases. She scowled with anger: "I'm a schoolteacher and I have a job. I don't need your help. Leave me alone!" Bronwyn said with a grin, "You're not very good at this, are you?" No I wasn't very good at it. But I’ve practiced. I’m getting better. Craig, I hope this is helpful to you and your friends. May God grant you wisdom, insight and the power of the Holy Spirit in reaching people for Christ. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, My mom passed away a few months ago. Can she hear me in heaven when I talk to her? Sincerely, Brian Dear Brian, No one can answer your question with any degree of certainty. As far as I know, the Bible never gives a definitive answer. Nevertheless, the Bible does give some insight into the matter. In Revelation 6:9-11, a group of Christian martyrs are pictured under the altar in Heaven watching death blows rain down upon Christians who are alive on earth during the Great Tribulation. These men and women are obviously aware of the events on earth and are pleading for God to get even with the persecution perpetrators. Acts 7 records the stoning of Stephen for the “crime” of preaching the Gospel. He was the first Christian martyr. Just before dying he saw Jesus leaning over the ramparts of Heaven looking on him with compassion and concern: “When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.’ At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him” (Acts 7:54-58). In Matthew 17, Moses and Elijah clearly already knew the events going on when they appeared with Jesus on the mount of transfiguration. In Luke 15 Jesus speaks of rejoicing in the presence of the angels, not BY the angels but in their presence, whenever a sinner repents, suggesting God's people in heaven rejoice at God's work in lives on earth. To rejoice at it, they obviously must be aware of it. Some view Hebrews 12:1-2 as evidence that Christians in Heaven can observe activities occurring on earth. The Heroes of Faith are pictured in Hebrews 11 as standing in a great stadium as they cheer for Christians who are running the “race that is set before them.” I don’t particularly agree with this interpretation. I think that the writer to the Hebrews was simply using them as encouraging examples to us that our faith can result in victorious living, too! On the other hand, Julie and I listened with rapt attention as one of our missionary friends from the Middle East described the raid on her family by the secret police of a nation that often persecuted Christians. Her skull was split open by an axe. Her husband was beaten mercilessly. God miraculously protected their children. She was air evacuated to Vienna and miraculously survived with all her mental and motor skills intact! Her husband fully recovered. She wept as she described the horror of the attack; however, moments later her lips curled up in a soft smile as she told of the vision she had during the attack of the saints of Hebrews 11 cheering her on in her pain. While these examples might hint at your mother being to hear (and see) you on earth, they are certainly not definitive. My opinion is that—I just don’t know the answer. But, maybe the following story can put things in perspective. When our baby daughter, Jessie, died in our arms, Julie and I said, “Good bye,” and then knelt to pray. I remember asking God to tell Jessie that we were her mommy and daddy and that we loved her more than words could tell. I asked God to relate to her how glad we were that she finally had a working body with which to enjoy the delights of Heaven. I prayed for God to tell her that we were looking forward to seeing her again soon! At her funeral I prayed for Jesus to tell Jessie that we really wished she were still here on earth us, but that we did not begrudge her one bit the great time she was having in Heaven. Brian, I find myself still quietly praying those prayers still today—thirty-eight-years later. I don’t know if Jessie can observe or hear from me directly; on the other hand, I know that God can, and that makes me confident that Jessie knows as well. Ask God in prayer to tell your mom whatever you want to tell her. It just may be that God passes the message along. Thanks for the question. I hope my thoughts are helpful. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, What can we do about the person in our small group who talks too much? He has a know it all attitude and tries to dominate every conversation. It is getting to the point where we are talking about how to get him out of the group. Any help? Sincerely, N Dear N, My experience is that people tend to come in three categories. I call them Drainers; Energizers; and Neutrals. Let’s say a Drainer invites you over to dinner. You really don’t want to go; but, since they are in your small group, you really have to go. You get there at 7:00 pm and after what seems like several hours you look at your watch—7:30 pm! They are sucking you dry! On the other hand, some people in our lives are what I call Energizers. Let’s say than an Energizer invites you to dinner. You look forward to the evening for several weeks. Finally, Friday night arrives. You ring the doorbell at 7:00 pm. You have been there for what seems like 30 minutes. You look at your watch—11:30 pm! Where did the evening go! You walk down the sidewalk and say to yourself, “What a great evening! I can hardly wait to be with them again. Finally, there are what I call the Neutrals. You go to their house for dinner at 7:00 pm and about two hours later you look at our watch and it is 9:00. Most of the people we know are Neutrals. We have a nice time with them and if we do or don’t go to dinner with them, it really doesn’t matter. They are just good people to be around. Now, let me share several observations. First, let’s model our lives after Jesus. Jesus had some of all three types in His discipleship group. Peter, James, John were Energizers. Philip, Matthew, Andrew, Nathaniel were Neutrals. Thomas and Judas were Drainers. If we are not careful we will try to spend all of our time with the Neutrals and Energizers—and avoid the Drainers. But, in following Jesus we must keep a balance. We need some Energizers who are like best friends. Most of the people in our lives will be Neutrals. We might call them friends and acquaintances. Finally, we may not need the Drainers; but, the Drainers might need us. Also, keep in mind that Drainers for some people might be Energizers for others. Now, let me be more specific in answering your question. It is not necessary to allow the Drainers in your group to dominate and ruin it. Sometimes in church work we refer to the Drainers as EGRs—Extra Grace Required. They need a little more grace and guidance. Usually, they don’t recognize that they are dominating or “ruining” a group. Set some boundaries. Designate two or three from your group to approach the Drainer and outline for the person his or her offending behaviors. They might well be so offended that they quit the group. Well , that is a shame, but it is their choice. However, many will respond well. Next, explain to them the offending behavior. You’re not just helping them function better in your group, you are probably helping them in bettering many of their life skills. Then, set up some boundaries. For example, they are not allowed to interrupt one who is already speaking. They may speak in the group setting no more than three minutes at a time. They have to let five people speak before they can have another turn. Then, make up a signal for when they overstep the boundaries: like clearing your throat twice, or snapping your fingers. Make the signal not too obvious, but enough to get their attention. Be certain that everyone in the group knows the boundaries and the signals so all can help modify the Drainer’s behavior. There is no reason to let anyone ruin your group. Don’t suffer in silence. Take the “bull by the horns” and address the problem in a kind and loving way. Well, N, I hope this helps. My advice probably won’t work in all situations; but I hope it works in yours. Love, Roger