Dear Roger, Most of the Christians I know, myself included, feel like our country is drifting further away from God’s principles at an ever increasing, accelerating pace runaway sin and mockery of the things of God. I’m afraid for my country. The truth is, I am afraid for myself, too. I am beginning to see compromise and some drifting away from some of the beliefs and values that I hold dear. And it scares me.  Please give me some advice on how to arrest the drifting. Sincerely, Amanda   Dear Amanda,   I’d be glad to share a few thoughts. Hebrews 2:1 summarizes the issue:   “We must pay more careful attention to what we’ve heard so that we do not drift away.”   Let me illustrate. My three-three year-old daughter, Bronwyn, and I were flying late one Saturday night from Dallas to Tucson. Believe it or not, only five people were on the American Airlines flight. We were playing chase all around the cabin. The flight attendant told us to sit down. So we did. Unfortunately Bronwyn was all full of vim and vigor and before I realized it we were up and running again.   She approached me from behind: “Okay dad,” she said with dripping scar chasm, “ if the oxygen masks come out, whose do you put on first?” I knew the answer to that; but I had to think for a moment.   “Why, mine!”   “That’s correct, but if it happens you won’t have that much time to decide.”   On my next flight I decided I’d better listen when the flight attendant gave instructions. I’ve heard it 1000 times. I grew up on airplanes! I looked around the cabin and everyone was ignoring her. I started listening again to the things that she was talking about, insignificant things, like where to go to get oxygen when there isn’t any.   The same thing can happen to us in the spiritual realm. It’s now happening to our country. It’s now happening in the church.   This generation, like no other, is characterized by people who are rewriting the standards.   Into many of our lives, seldom do we hear the watchword, “Thus says the Lord….” Now we hear, “let’s be reasonable.”   We are finding less sharp edges and increasingly more rounded corners.   Moral purity, marital commitment, ministerial integrity, issues like abortion and gay marriage, and biblical fidelity are things that are up for grabs to many Christians.   Our society is drifting away from our godly heritage and is turning its back on God’s dealings with mankind.   DRIFTING IS DANGEROUS.   The writer to the Hebrews continues in the next two verses:    “Since the message spoken through angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment,   how shall we escape if we ignore so great a salvation?”   Hebrews 5:11-6:6 details another sobering warning:   “…   It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age   and who have fallen [ c ] away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.”   SOME REASONS THAT WE DRIFT   1. A Shallow Work At The Beginning ( Mark 4:13-20 And 2 Corinthians 7:10 ).   John MacArthur encountered a prostitute who said to him, “I need help. Please. I’m desperate.” She was at the bottom. She’d been through the drug scene and wanted to get free. MacArthur shared with her the gospel of Jesus and she prayed to receive Christ. Then MacArthur said, “Do you have your little black book of contacts with you?” “Yes.” “Then let’s just take a match and burn it.” “What do you mean?” “I mean just what I said. If you really experienced Jesus’ forgiveness and want him to be your savior, then let’s have a little party and burn the book and praise the Lord.” “But that book,” she said, “is worth a lot of money…. an awful lot of money.” She paused and then said, “I don’t want to burn my book.” She put it in her purse, looked MacArthur in the eye, and said, “I guess that I really don’t want Jesus, do I?” And she left.   She made a bad bargain. What she kept for a little while wasn’t worth anything compared to what she could’ve had in Jesus Christ forever.   2. Riches In This World ( Psalms 73:3-9 , And Proverb 1:32).   3. Inattention To Divine Warnings ( Proverbs 29:1 And 1 Kings 13:20-24 ).   4. Blindness To Relative Values Versus Actual Spiritual Status (Like Laodicea In Revelation 13 ).   5. Hanging On To Favorites Sins ( Ephesians 4:27 ).   Drifting Is So Easy, And So Damning   DEMAS IS THE PARAMOUNT BIBLICAL EXAMPLE OF DRIFTING.   God gives us three snapshots of Demas, three points on a graph, which show him drifting rapidly downward from “fellow worker with Paul” to apostate.   The first snapshot is in Philemon 23-24 :   “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.”   Demas is a “fellow worker” with the apostle Paul. There are a few honors better than that. He is in the company of spiritual giants. He began with a hot heart. He surrendered to full-time Christian service. He decided to follow Christ at any price.   The second snapshot is in Colossians 4:7-14 :   “Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord…. Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you…. Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.”   Eight individuals are mentioned in this passage and it is no accident that seven of them are pointed out for some good work while Demas is passed over in silence. I believe that at this juncture, Paul was beginning to suspect that something was wrong with Demas.   The third snapshot is 2 Timothy 4:9-10:   “Do your best to come to me quickly,   for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.”   “Demas, my fellow laborer; Demas; Demas has deserted me.”   This is the story of a man who made a fine beginning but a poor ending.   It’s obvious that the qualities which make for a good start are not identical with the qualities that see life through to the end.   I’ve noticed that it’s easy for Christians to be like Demas and to love this present age. Many begin with Christ but then some comfortable corner of this present age invites us and we nestle down. Our Christian profession lapses and we do not amount to much in the end for Jesus.   If I should accuse some of us of being Judas, we would be indignant. We would never deliberately sell out. But Demas, how many of us have been that.   STAYING POWER: HOW NOT TO DRIFT   1. STAYING POWER IN CHRISTIANITY IS ALWAYS ASSOCIATED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF GIVING ONESELF COMPLETELY OVER TO JESUS CHRIST.   Demas had no staying power because Christ had never gotten that deeply into consent Demas.   Think about Paul and Demas. Paul was in with staying power. He could’ve had the simple life as a professor at the University of Jerusalem. He could’ve had all that Rome had to offer; but he set aside all of that and was willing to die for Jesus Christ. Demas was of another sort.   2. STAYING POWER IN CHRISTIANITY IS ALWAYS ASSOCIATED WITH COMPLETE FAITH THAT GOD IS STILL ON HIS THRONE AND IS CARRYING OUT HIS PLAN ON THE EARTH.   Of all the maddening things in history, with Nero on his throne and with Paul in his prison, can you think of anything more unlikely than that the gospel for which Paul stood would outlast the mighty Roman Empire.   Of course, that’s what got to Demas.   Who would ever have believed that one day we would name our sons, “Paul”, and our dogs,” Nero”?   I wish for every Christian a life of great convictions and staying power, which develop, expand, and elevate through life— fine at the beginning, but loveliest of all at the last.   Frankly, is there anything that we can better pray for ourselves than to avoid the opposite?   Well Amanda, I hope that you’ll find my thoughts helpful and that you will choose to stand with Christ at any price.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger,  Several weeks ago, I read the letter you wrote to the lady who wanted to know about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They were part of the seven seals that you described in Revelation. With all that is going on in the world today, and with so many wondering about the second coming, I’d like for you to explain the seven trumpets which are blown after the seven seals are opened. By the way, do you think we’re in the last days?   Sincerely, Susan   Dear Susan,   Frankly, the first time I thought that we were in the Last Days was right after the 1967 War which was won by Israel over their Arab enemies. As we drove in an old school bus from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, we passed scores of burned-out tanks and personnel carriers. I started counting | biblical years and generations. I just knew that the return of Christ was imminent.   Now, I do not know if these are the Last Days or not. I try to live by the following guideline: “Live as if Jesus were coming in the next 10 minutes. Plan as if he were not coming for another thousand years.”   Now, let’s get down to work.   There is a haunting theme throughout the interludes of Revelation: “They refused to repent.” The seven trumpets are all about the devastation that God brings up on mankind in the hope that they will repent and surrender to the Lord Jesus.   Before the seventh trumpet is blown, God allows the Angels to see the destruction he is about to bring upon mankind. Everything in heaven is silenced for thirty minutes as the Angels stare in shock at the destruction to come. Unfortunately, mankind will still not repent.   Revelation 8:6 : Then the seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared to sound them.   The trumpets are divided into four and three. The first four deal with man’s environment. The second three deal directly with mankind.   THE FIRST TRUMPET   Revelation 8:7 : The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down upon the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.   Hail destroys crops and also men and animals!   The food supply is devastated. The “green grass” refers to grain.   By God’s mercy only 1/3 of these things are destroyed. Hope still exists hope for the people who are left to repent and turn to God.   THE SECOND TRUMPET   Revelation 8:8-9 : The second angel sounded his trumpet, and something like a huge mountain, all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood, a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed.   Could this be a falling meteor? Or, perhaps a nuclear missile spewing radioactivity?   This trumpet deals with the salt water oceans! The oceans food supply is devastated. Edible fish and seaweed, raw oysters and raw octopus tentacles are decimated. Very little sushi remains.   THE THIRD TRUMPET   Revelation 8:10-11 : The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water–the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turn bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.   This is an attack upon the freshwater sources of the world. The great star Wormwood contaminates 1/3 of the world’s rivers and lakes. The word “Wormwood” literally means “Bitterness”! The bitter water is drinkable; however, death is the ultimate outcome. This reminds me of the personal-physical agonies as a result of the radioactivity that polluted Hiroshima and Nagasaki (Read John Hersey’s book, “Hiroshima”. It’s well worth it.).   THE FOURTH TRUMPET   Revelation 8:12 : The fourth angel sounded his trumpet, and a third of the sun was struck, a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that a third of them turned dark. A third of the day was without light, and also a third of the night.   The fourth trumpet is an attack on the atmosphere. The light of the sun and moon is diminished. This reminds me of the volcanic eruption of Krakatoa in the mid-1800s. The dust and ash circle the globe. The folks in Europe and America described it as the summer when winter never ended. Crops were stunted resulting in world-wide famine.   This trumpet has two parts. After the dust the sun’s power and intensifies. This is a picture of strengthening global warming intensified. The O 3 ozone layer over Antarctica balloons and ultraviolet rays pile on.   At this point a remarkable creature appears in the Heaven’s proclaiming three great woes on mankind.   Revelation 8:13 : As I watched, I heard an eagle that was flying in midair call out in a loud voice: “Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels!”   “Midair” means “at the Zenith” it’s a picture of an empty sky and one solitary eagle winging its way across the zenith of the sky, forewarning of the doom to come.   Once again God gives warning before he does anything in the way of judgment. He warned Adam not to touch the tree or suffer the consequences. He gave Noah’s neighbors 120 years to repent. If you’re not going to repent after 120 years then one more year probably won’t make any difference. John the Baptist gave a warning: “Repent, Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.”   It’s one thing to strike the environment. It’s another to strike at man himself. The Woes are a warning that it’s time to come to Jesus.   There are over 600 warnings in Bible regarding Hell. It’s like God says, “Repent, Go Back, Bridge Out! Caution”! Only a fool drives over the edge of a cliff, or a blind man! In the interlude, God says, “Beware of Hell!” Come to Jesus.   THE FIFTH TRUMPET   Revelation 9:1 : The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth. The star was given the key to the shaft of the Abyss.   Who or what is the star fallen from Heaven? The Star is Lucifer, the Devil ( Isaiah 14:12-17 ). In Luke 10 the disciples return from a preaching mission and say, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us!”  Jesus replied, “I saw Lucifer, fall like lightning from Heaven.” Lucifer is a fallen archangel ( Revelation 12:7-9 ) who is hurled to earth.   What is the Abyss? The abyss is the prison for the worst fallen angels of all ( Jude 6 ). Luke 8:26-31 describes the story of Gadarene Demoniac. In Luke 8:31 the demons plead:  “Please don’t cast us into the abyss. Send us to the pigs instead.”   Revelation 9:2-4 : When he opened the Abyss, smoke rose from it like the smoke from a gigantic furnace. The sun and sky were darkened by the smoke from the Abyss. And out of the smoke locusts came down upon the earth and were given power like that of scorpions of the earth. They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads.   When the Abyss opens, filthy, dirty demonic spirits who’ve been chained for centuries emerge.   The smoke most likely pictures the veritable soot of Hell which comes forth to cover the earth.   God seals His believers with the Holy Spirit. They are protected from the onslaught of Satan. This sealing is described in Ephesians Chapter Four.   Satan seals his followers with the sign of the beast, 666 in forehead or in the right hand. Those who do not have the seal of the Holy Spirit will be tormented.   Revelation 9:5-6 : They were not given power to kill them, but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes a man. During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.   This passage describes demonic torment. Imagine what it will be to long for suicide and God will not allow it until five months in past! Finally, suicide is allowed and the gate to hell opens.   Revelation 9:7-8 : The locusts looked like horses prepared for battle. On their heads they wore something like crowns of gold, and their faces resembled human faces. Their hair was like women’s hair, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth.   “Like women’s hair” is equivalent to seduction. I remember reading, Susan, in the LA Times, about a young man who picked up a female hitchhiker. He propositioned her and drove to a secluded place. As he leaned over to kiss her she had a razor blade in her teeth…Slit…Slit.  She cut off both of his lips.   This is a graphic picture of seductiveness of Satan. His promises look so good, then slit… slit…   Revelation 9:9-12 : They had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the thundering of many horses and chariots rushing into battle. They had tails and stingers like scorpions, and in their tails they had power to torment people for five months.   Does this sound like helicopters and battle tanks or what?   The first woe is past; two other woes are yet to come.   Five months may give us indication as to when they appear on the scene: five months before Armageddon.   THE SIXTH TRUMPET   Revelation 9:13 : The sixth angel sounded his trumpet, and I heard a voice coming from the horns of the golden altar that is before God.   The horns of the golden altar refers to the voice of Christ calling for judgment!  What a change! The very altar where Christ has been pleading for souls now becomes the place where He orders judgment!  No more mercy!   Revelation 9:14-16 : It said to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” And the four angels who had been kept ready for this very hour and day and month and year were released to kill a third of mankind. The number of the mounted troops was two hundred million. I heard their number.     The Euphrates River (modern day Iraq) has significance all through the Bible. The first sin was committed here. The first murder took place here. The first rebellion against God took place here. Nimrod, the father of idolatry built a blasphemous tower in Babylon here.   Two-hundred million soldiers is a demonic empowered army.  China now has a 200 million soldier standing army. China will come to Israel’s border and be supernaturally held up until God allows them to cross the Euphrates and invade Israel in preparation for battle of Armageddon.   Revelation 9:17-19 : The horses and riders I saw in my vision looked like this: Their breastplates were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow as sulfur. The heads of the horses resembled the heads of lions, and out of their mouths came fire, smoke and sulfur. A third of mankind was killed by the three plagues of fire, smoke and sulfur that came out of their mouths. The power of the horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inflict injury.   How might John describe Jet Planes and Tanks and Anti-Tank Missiles?   John sees a giant war machine moving from the East to Jerusalem. It’s a nuclear Army, under demonic control, which leaves behind a trail of nuclear destruction.   The smoke from the Abyss may well describe germ or chemical warfare or nuclear clouds of radioactive fallout and debris. Zechariah describes this event: “People’s tongues cleave to roof of mouths, skeletons stand and flesh falls from their bones.”   Yet, the people refused to repent.   Revelation 9:20-21 : The rest of mankind that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood– idols that cannot see or hear or walk. Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.   WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US TODAY?   1. The love of God brings many to repentance.  We need to show the love of Christ.   2. The judgment of God brings others.  We need to declare the coming judgment ( John 16:8-11 ).   3. Jesus told us to pray, “Even so, Lord Jesus.” So we will.   4 the Bible says that there is a crown for those who love, and are looking forward to his return. Let’s earn it ( 2 Timothy 4:8 )!   Most people come to Christ with some sort of combination of love and the fear of judgment. Unfortunately, some respond to neither love nor judgment. Their hearts have grown so hardened that they won’t repent under any circumstance!   Well, Susan, I hope that you find this short exegesis is helpful in understanding what’s ahead for the people of this world. Whatever, I’m looking for the rapture. I’m sure you’re looking there, too!   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Recently I saw a bumper sticker with the letters, “WWJD” [“What Would Jesus Do?” I haven’t worn my bracelet in a long time and I am thinking about putting it back on. I remember that you mentioned the WWJD bracelets in a sermon and why you didn’t wear one. Refresh my memory, please. Sincerely, Susan Dear Susan, I don’t really remember the sermon, but I do remember the reason that I didn’t wear one. It was not such a good reason. I wish now that I had never said what I said. I whole-heartedly endorse them. The idea for WWJD bracelets comes from the book, “In His Steps,” by Charles Sheldon which he wrote in 1896. Sheldon the pastor of a Congregationalist church in Topeka, Kansas. Sheldon’s theology was shaped by personal commitment to what we might term today as Christian Socialism. He believed that Jesus was every bit as much of a moral example as He was a Savior figure! In other words, a Christian who failed at meeting the needs of the poor and down trodden wasn’t if he was one at all! It is not at all unfair to describe Sheldon as the “Father” of the social gospel as we know it in America today. The ethos of Sheldon’s approach to the Christian life was expressed by his phrase “What Would Jesus Do?” His novel is now translated in over twenty different languages. The premise of the book revolves around Rev. Henry Maxwell’s encounter with a homeless man who challenges the good Reverend to take seriously the teachings of Christ. The unfortunate individual has a hard time understanding how so many Christians can ignore the poor? In the early pages of the book the incongruence is clearly laid out before the reader: It seems to me there’s an awful lot of trouble in the world that somehow wouldn’t exist if all the people who sing such songs [referring to Christian hymns-Ed.] went and lived them out. I suppose I don’t understand. But what would Jesus do? Is that what you mean by following His steps? It seems to me sometimes as if the people in the big churches had good clothes and nice houses to live in, and money to spend for luxuries, and could go away on summer vacations and all that, while the people outside the churches, thousands of them, I mean, die in tenements, and walk the streets for jobs, and never have a piano or a picture in the house, and grow up in misery and drunkenness and sin [Sheldon, C. (1896) In His Steps, p. 10]. Throughout the book the characters continually ask, “What would Jesus do?” in a variety of situations. As a result, many embraced Christianity as it was taught by Jesus and many find themselves living out the life of Christ. Variations of this behavioral phrase have been used by Christians for centuries. In most recent history Thomas à Kempis (ca. 1380-1471) popularize the concept in his devotional classic, “The Imitation of Christ.” The phrase “What would Jesus do?” is a personal reminder that the life and example of Jesus is to guide behavior in every facet of life. By the way, WWJD has an alternative meaning, “Walk with Jesus daily”. Dan Seaborn who lived in Michigan organized in the early 1990s the grassroots phenomenon of wearing bracelets with the WWJD initials. With amazing speed the initialized bracelets were worn in every state in the nation. The WWJD philoshopy has given guidance in a multitude of areas, some humorous. For example, “What Would Jesus buy?” or “What Would Jesus Listen to?” Stupidly, I refrained from actively supporting WWJD. First, I arrogantly pointed out in the New Testament that Jesus constantly surprised people with what He would do. I didn’t think that we would do a good job of figuring out what He really wanted. I was wrong. The New Testament quite clearly demonstrates what He would do. For example, He declared in Luke 4:18-19 : “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” In most every situation we encounter, we can find in the Bible an example of what Jesus did in that very situation. Secondly, I was afraid of the bad reputation Christianity would get from seeming hypocrites who wore the bracelets and then acted in anything but a Christ-like manner. I was wrong. While some would embarrass Christianity, the good done by the ones truly seeking to live out WWJD would far outweigh any negative connotations. I hope this helps. Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger,   I would like to thank you for all of your insightful posts to the readers’ questions. They have served as enlightenment during those sleepless nights of confusion. I do have a question of my own, can I disown my family? Specifically, my mother, her husband, and my sisters. I have had enough of their toxic behavior and ignorant lifestyles. Allow me to explain my sentiments. I am a Hispanic female, born in Puerto Rico and my parents divorced soon after my birth. My mother relocated to the United States and had three more daughters by a married man. This new relationship was short lived and left my mother raising four daughters on her own. She met another man and after many years together recently married him. My relationship with my mother has always been tumultuous to say the least. I can recall as a second grader, I made her a mother’s day gift and she rejected it. She did not attend my high school graduation because she had “nothing to be proud of.” I also remember the lack of affection on her part and her rigid way of raising me. Her most popular line was “You should be thankful that I feed you and I don’t abandon you.” I received little instructions on life and the legalistic church I attended with my sisters (my mother rarely attended) served as a fear mongering institution, where people believed attending the movie theater was a direct compromise to the sacrifice at the Cross. I eventually became pregnant at 15 and gave birth to a daughter. I didn’t marry her father and continued to live with my family. The family unit progressively worsened. My mother adopted a new method of parenting that included cursing, purposely damaging everyone’s self esteem. The family dysfunction was blamed on my teenage pregnancy, and church, although legalistic, remained my weekly refuge. By this time, I was the only person in my family attending church. Eventually, I joined the United States Army as an avenue to escape the ghetto, but I had become angry and stopped attending church. After my time in service, I moved back home, where the verbal abuse was still in full effect and my self-worth was dancing somewhere in hell. My season of hell on earth was over after I met the most amazing husband ever, life had finally given me a break. Today, I am 27 years old, married to an Army officer who loves the Lord and serves at our non-legalistic church, (by the way, he too comes from a highly dysfunctional family). The Lord has guided us in raising a smart and God loving daughter. I am also finishing a master’s degree in Diplomacy and Terrorism. I have worked so hard to break the cycle of the impoverished ghetto way of life, and most importantly I have a newly found relationship with Christ, where His GRACE has been so sufficient. BUT, in my recent trip home (I live in California and they in Connecticut) my family continued to delve in their disrespectful, evil-like ways. My mother and her husband now attend church, but lack a relationship with Christ. The cursing, fighting and verbal abuse is alive and the same spirit of brokenness is present. There has never been an apology or an attempt to make amends. My parenting skills are mocked by everyone and my capacity as a human being is attacked every available chance. I’m exhausted of praying for them. Honestly, I am so sick of them. Sometimes, I jokingly wonder if I was switched in the newborn unit after my birth. I know my life transformation is due to the relationship I have with Christ, His forgiveness, His grace, His love, and His mercy. Is there anyway I can justify disowning my family? My compassion tank is completely drained; the last drops evaporated during my recent visit. Sincerely, “M”   Dear “ M ,” Yes, you may justify disowning your family. Based on your letter, I would strongly consider never seeing or talking to them again. Your mental and spiritual health as well as your self image are all too precious to risk more harm by even one more visit or phone call to your mom, her husband or your sisters. The Bible Teaches That It Is OK To Avoid People Who Hurt You. Paul recognized this: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” ( Romans 12:18 ). The key words here are, “as far as it is possible.” Sometimes it is not possible. I don’t believe that it is possible to live in harmony with family members who discourage, beat down, neglect, abandon, ridicule, and criticize you mercilessly. Dysfunctional people like these are better left behind. Fortunately, some people are much more likely to build you up than to tear you down. Seek out these people and befriend them. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” ( Ephesians 4:29 ). You may be thinking, “ M ”, that Christians are supposed to get along with every one. Well, stop thinking like that. There are some people that you should stay away from. For example, Paul advised Titus to identify hurtful and divisive people and avoid them: “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” ( Titus 3:10-11 ). Once upon a time a man in our church didn’t like a ministry we had begun. He gathered a number of his friends and invited me to teach a Bible lesson on the ministry. About thirty minutes into the lesson, he interrupted me and said, “See, I told you that we gave him so rope he would hang himself!” They verbally jumped all over me and my theology and departed to spread rumors through out the church family. He threw a sucker punch. He threw two more before he was finished. After everything settled down, he sent a message letting me know that he wanted everything to be back like it was before the initial attack. I never responded to his message. I had long ago decided to invoke Titus 3:10-11 in his case. I considered him a divisive man and wanted nothing to do with him. I couldn’t trust him. He was too dangerous. “ M ”, it is OK to invoke Titus 3:10-11 and disown your family by “avoiding” them. They are the very people Paul was talking about. Let me ask you a penetrating question: “When is the last time you left a visit or finished a phone call from your family feeling better than when you came?” Most people can’t remember. I consider those families to be caustic and dangerous to be around. After sticking your hand in the fire seven times or so with no improvement, it is probably time to keep away from the fire. It Is OK To Find Others WHO WILL Meet Our Needs If Our Family Of Origin WON’T. “ M ”, David Ferguson (Great Commandment.net ) emphasizes that God has designed three safety nets to ensure that our needs for love, grace, blessing, appreciation, approval, security, comfort, encouragement and respect are properly met. The primary purpose of marriage is to care for each other’s aloneness by meeting each other’s needs Genesis 2:18 ). The purpose of marriage is companionship. “ M ”, your husband is designed to be your best friend and vice versa. Fortunately, you have found a man who can do this with you–and vice versa. Unfortunately, not all marriages succeed. So, God has provided the family to minister to our aloneness needs. Unfortunately, not all families are safe places. Yours certainly is not. The third place God has designed needs to our meet our needs is the church. Fortunately, you have a great church. It is OK to leave your hurtful family behind and let the church become the family you never had. Unfortunately, not all churches are safe places. It is ok to forgive without letting the people who hurt US back into our lives. Unfortunately, I have ministered to too many children who were sexually abused by a step-dad who were forced by mom to remain in the same home as stepdad. I can’t imagine! But it happens too often. The abused child needs never to see stepdad again—ever.   Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we must pick up the relationship with the one who hurt us as if nothing ever happened. Something did happen—and it was bad. There are consequences. Sometimes that means a broken relationship which is never regained.   Forgiveness does not demand that we reenter an abusive or toxic relationship with an unrepentant offender. One of the big issues here is trust. Trust is rebuilt slowly and restored relationships usually occur a long time after trust is regained—and not before. We can forgive them and never see or talk to them again.   We can forgive without ever sharing with them how much they hurt us. After all, the soldiers hurt Christ a lot and He forgave them without ever telling them how much they were hurting him.   IT IS OK TO FACTOR IN A LITTLE GRACE AND FORGIVENESS. AFTER ALL, THE WAY THAT OUR PARENTS TREAT US IS MOST LIKELY THE WAY THAT THEY WERE TREATED BY THEIR PARENTS. In the early 1980s Janet G. Woititz published a synopsis of many of the characteristics of adults who grew up in alcoholic families. Shortly after publishing her book, Adult Children of Alcoholics ( Health Communications Inc., 1983) , she discovered that many people with addictions, who grew up in strict and/or judgmental religious upbringings, who were adopted, who lived in foster care, or who grew up in other dysfunctional environments often exhibited the same adult problems as those whose parents were alcoholics. “ M ”, I don’t know all of your family’s background but give them a little grace. Most likely they are passing on what they received. It is all they’ve have to pass on! My family tree is full of alcoholics, drunk drivers, death, sclerosis of the liver, suicides, rebellion and even an abandoned child. Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics. My mother and father never drank, but every one around them did. Personally, I always considered my family to be a good one—and in many ways it was. But, I never understood just how dysfunctional my family was  until I read Woititz’s work and identified with many of the symptoms. Now I understand that many of the dysfunctional characteristics she passed on were passed to her from her ancestors. Mom simply passed on what she was given. According to Woititz Adults whose parents were alcoholics or who grew up in overwhelmingly dysfunctional families: Guess at what normal behavior is; Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end; Judge themselves without mercy; Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth; Have difficulty having fun; Take themselves very seriously; Have difficulty with intimate relationships; Overreact to changes over which they have no control; Constantly seek approval and affirmation; Usually feel that they are different from other people; Are super responsible or super irresponsible; Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved; Are impulsive (they tend to spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up their mess).   I identify with nine of the characteristics. I suppose that our family was about 4/13 th functional. How about yours?   I have often heard it said that the things we don’t like about others are often the things we don’t like about ourselves.   It is Ok not to disown a hurtful family. Once we recognize that members of our families are hurting us out of their own hurt, we may decide to make it a personal project to help some in our family heal their hurts and learn to live life better. Listening, understanding, comforting and refusing to return insult for insult or caustic attitude for caustic attitude lay the foundation for healing.   “ M ”, If you want to stay with your family, I recommend that you establish boundaries that provide safe places to keep you from stumbling into situations where you can get hurt again. But, at the same time, set boundaries in place that are close enough to allow you to minister grace to them.   If you want to stay with your family, then consider partnering up with Jesus to lead them toward emotional, spiritual and mental wholeness. I recommend that you read the Christian classic, “Hind’s Feet On High Places” , by Hannah Hurnard for the inspiration you need to help engender healing in your family.   Finally, recognize that even the most caustic of families can be used by God to build character and value into our lives. Remember Joseph’s dysfunctional brothers meant him great harm. But, one day, Joseph was able to say to them: “You meant this for evil; but God meant it for good.”   My paternal grandfather made moonshine during the Prohibition years. One day dad and some high school friends got into my Granddad’s moonshine. One of the boys spilled some on granddad’s black model T car and it pealed the paint right off. It is no wonder granddad died before my father was eighteen. My dad refused to fold. He had a mother who cared and the drive to succeed. He became the vice president of one of the largest airlines in North America.   My mom didn’t quit. Her dad was an angry drunk who continually threatened the family with harm and finally blew out his brains when I was two. Mom didn’t quit. She raised her children well and did community volunteer work helping desperate families until she was past eighty.   All families have problems. Nevertheless, most need not be forsaken or disowned.   However, “ M ”, in your case I would strongly consider disowning and staying away from the people who are hurting you so deeply and consistently. Since you live so far away you have some built-in space. Consider using it to your advantage. You might consider that it is best for you and your husband to make no more trips back to Connecticut. Let them come to you if you like. (I bet there is less than one chance in ten that they will.) They have hurt you enough and I believe that no amount of pleading and praying will change their behavior and attitude toward you—unless God works some sort of unforeseen miracle—and that is His business, not yours. Again, I’m deeply sorry for the pain and suffering you’ve experienced over so many years. I hope that God restores to you the years that the locusts have eaten ( Joel 2:25 ). Love, Roger

Dear Roger,   I’ve been wondering about guardian angels. Are they real? Do they really protect us? I met someone at a funeral Recently I attended a funeral service for one of my long-time friends named, Randy. There came a moment in the service where the minister invited people to share testimonies of how Randy had touched their lives and what he had meant to them.   The first one to speak was Randy’s brother, Will, who proceeded to share that he had a guardian angel named, Ralph, and that Ralph had a message of love for all the people. Will then shared Ralph’s message that God loved them. It all seemed a little quirky to me that Will had a guardian angel named, Ralph.   His speech brought up several questions. Do Christians have guardian angels? If so, what do they do? Do they have names? Can they tell us their names? Several of my friends think that departed loved ones actually return to “watch over” them in their lives here on earth. What do you think? Do people become angels when they go to Heaven?   Sincerely, “J”   Dear, “J”,   As I read your question, my first thought was, “A guardian angel named, Ralph! Are you kidding me! Sounds crazy! Then, I got to thinking, maybe there is more here than meets the eye. If I can name my life-dependent pacemaker, “Repeat,” then maybe Will can name his guardian angel, Ralph!   Jesus answered the question, “Do we have guardian angels?” in Matthew 18:10 : “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” In discussing the worth and value of children, Jesus mentioned that each of us has a guardian angel who is apparently assigned to us when we are children—probably when we were born.   While angelic activity fills the pages of the Bible, the Bible is not very forthcoming when talking about the particulars of the ministries of guardian angels. The purpose of the book of Hebrews is to declare the preeminence of Jesus Christ. In the opening chapter the writer to the Hebrews demonstrated the superiority of Jesus’ ministry to the ministry of the angels. angel ministry is powerful; but, of course, not as powerful as Jesus’ ministry.   What do angels do? In verse thirteen the one who wrote Hebrews defined the job responsibilities of angels : “Are they not all ministering spirits, sent out to render service for the sake of those who will inherit salvation?”   One thing they do is give us spiritual and physical and spiritual protection.   “At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered.   I’ve heard scores of personal stories from people who have interacted with angels who protected them from physical danger. For example, in our first house Julie and I had a large, floor-level, sunken tiled bathtub when the children were little.   I was working in the front of the house when Julie screamed for me to run to the tiled bathtub. As I raced down the hall way I ran into Julie also racing for the tub. As we reached the bathroom, our two-year-old was tottering on the raised-tile edge about to fall head first into the three-foot deep pool. We grabbed her away from danger.   I said to Julie, “Why did you scream for me when you were already on the way?” She said, “I didn’t scream for you. You screamed for me.” I said, “I never screamed for you.” At that moment we both thought we saw a wisp of white robe departing the room. We were stunned. As we later debriefed the incident, the only conclusion we could draw was that Brianna’s guardian angel was “wide awake” and on duty and screaming for both of us to run to the bathroom as quickly as possible   It may be a shame that we can’t see the protection provided by our guardian angels in the spiritual battles going on behind the scenes for our souls. We would have much more appreciation for our guardian angels. In Job chapters one and two God and Satan were fighting over the righteousness of Job. Job’s life was directly influenced by the ebb and flow of the battle behind the scenes. From this we discover that we are in a spiritual struggle with Satan.   Some demons are assigned to attack individual Christians. Others are designed to destroy nations. The demonic hierarchy includes many levels ( Ephesians 6:10-18 ).   “Then he [the angel Michael] continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia” ( Daniel 10:12-13 ).   I assume that our guardian angels are always on duty and ready to help. I imagine that their help takes many forms.   For example, when I am at the hospital praying with someone before surgery, I always pray for that person’s guardian angel to do everything necessary for a successful surgery and complete recovery.   Julie and I pray for the guardian angels assigned to us by Jesus at our births to fight strongly on our behalf in the spiritual warfare realm and to provide protection in the physical realm as well.   While we seldom get feedback on how successful our prayers are in these arenas, we both feel certain, based on the verses mentioned above, that they are on duty on our behalf.   Was Will totally wrong about his guardian angel bringing a message for him to share at the funeral. As strange as it may sound, the word in Greek for “angel” is ?(“angelon”) which means “messenger.” For example angels brought a number of messages to Daniel. Gabriel brought messages both to Mary ( Luke 1:26-35 ). Why couldn’t Ralph bring a message to Will?   Those who think that a departed loved one returns as some sort of spirit to watch over them, need to rethink their thinking. Once we die, we die. Either we go to Heaven or to Hell depending on whether we received God’s free gift of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ ( John 1:12 and 3:16 ). It is impossible for those who have died to return to earth in any form whatsoever ( Luke 16:19-31 ).   Julie and I tease that our guardian angels really have names. My guardian angel’s name is “Bring It.” Julie’s guardian angel is named, “Wing It.” Just kidding!” While angels do have names (Gabriel in Luke 1:29 and Michael in Daniel 12:1 ), Julie and I have never been told ours—but wouldn’t it be nice to know!?   Despite conventional wisdom, humans are not transformed into angels when they die. For example, in a discussion of whether or not marriage exists in Heaven, Jesus said, “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” ( Matthew 24:38 ). Note that we are like angels—but we are not angels. Paul teaches on many occasions that we keep our own identities, personalities and enough of our earthly features to be recognized by others in eternity ( 1 Corinthians 13:11-12 ). While we will be transformed into the likeness of Christ ( 1 John 3:2 ), we will remain distinctly who we were on earth—and we will not be angels.   Sincerely, Roger

QUESTION : I have been a Christian for over 30 years and I am confused with the teaching about the trinity. Do I have to believe that Jesus is God to enter the kingdom of heaven? As best as I can understand; the answer is in John 3-16 and Romans 10:9-10 .I have read and heard the arguments on both sides and truly prayed about it and I am still confused. HELP!  DB ANSWER: The reason you are struggling is because sorting out the concept of the trinity is one of the most difficult endeavors in Christianity. Do you realize that the word “trinity” is never used in the Bible? On the other hand, the concept is clearly presented throughout the Scriptures. In essence the trinity is the concept that God exists in three distinct persons—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—while still being one Person. By the way, Muslims consider the trinity to be a blasphemous concept as they maintain that “Allah is one.” They believe that Christians worship three distinctly different gods. This is not surprising because many Christians find it difficult to accept the “three-in-one” themselves, much less explain it to someone else.The idea of the trinity is established early in the Biblical record. In Genesis 1:26 , God says, “Let us make man in Our image…” When he says, “us,” he is affirming His multiple-person nature. He is unified one while being more than one. God the Father, God the Son (Jesus) and God the Holy Spirit are God while at the same time three distinct personages with different roles and responsibilities. In broad, sweeping terms God the Father is the overseer of all things. God the Son, is the creator and savior of all things. God the Holy Sprit is the current comforter and Divine person living in every Christ Follower as well as the present sustainer of life. In numerous passages we see clear-cut references to One God existing as three persons. In John 17 Jesus declares that He and the Father are one. In Romans 8:27 Paul writes, “He who searches our hearts (God the Father) knows the mind of (God) the Spirit.” While all three have different responsibilities they are often pictured as fully united in intention and in purpose. God does not metamorphose from one form to the other. They are, however, seen as involved in a variety of significant activities. For example, all three were involved in the process of creation. Again, at the baptism of Jesus, the Holy Spirit descended upon the Son as the Father verbally commended Him to the people there. Again, the Bible is clear that Jesus did not raise Himself back to life. The resurrection was the specific work of God the Father and God the Spirit. I use several analogies in getting a mental grip on just how the triune God might exist. No analogy is perfect, nor is it meant to be. Analogies are models that help us understand the real thing. One analogy I like is the egg. God is like an egg which comprises three distinct parts—the shell, white and yoke. One egg, three parts but all necessary to be one. Another of my favorite analogies compares the trinity to ice, water, and steam. All three are merely different states of the same substance “H2O”. Ice, water and steam have different forms and properties. They do very different things; and yet they are all the same: “H2O”. I think that I like this analogy the best! God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit are all the same—God while existing in three different “states” simultaneously. Don, the real question behind your question seems to be whether or not Jesus Christ is fully God. If He is then we can trust the verses you mentioned as our way to Heaven. If He is not fully God than every thing is up for grabs! My favorite passage where Jesus declared His divinity is in John 8:19-59 . The Pharisees questioned Jesus about His lineage. They declared, “Abraham is our father.” “They then asked Jesus, “Who is your father?” The implication was that Jesus was illegitimate. He did not know who His father was. After declaring that the Pharisees were going to kill Him and that He would die for the sins of the world, the Jews responded, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that if anyone keeps your word, he will never taste death. Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?” Moments later Jesus responded, “Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.”“You are not yet fifty years old,” the Jews said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!”“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds. The reason they picked up the stones was because He had blasphemed by claiming to be God. “I am” is one of the holiest names of God! He declared His name as, “I am.” He knew exactly what He was doing by using that name for Himself—so did the Pharisees. He declared Himself to be God and the Pharisees hated Him for it. Now, for your most significant question: “Do I have to believe that Jesus is God to enter the kingdom of heaven?” I think your answer is in the verses you mentioned above. Both Jesus and Paul answered your question with an unqualified, “Yes!” John 3:16-18 : “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” Romans 10:8-10 : “But what does it say? ‘The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. Well, Don, I hope this clears up some of your confusion. Sometimes, we simply take things on faith because we can never understand them in this life. These incomprehensible truths are often called “inscrutable”. Inscrutable describes things beyond human comprehension. For me the doctrine of the trinity is simply inscrutable. Paul writes, “Today we see in a mirror; then we will see face to face.” I can wait; the time for understanding will come soon enough for all of us . Love, Roger

Dear Roger, How do I know if God is speaking to me? Sincerely, Tom Tom, During the worship service, a woman whispered quietly to Julie: “I have a word from the Lord for you. You will be like the prophetess, Anna, in  Luke 2 . You will be widowed after seven years and spend the rest of your life ministering in sweet service to Jesus.” “Don’t you see me standing here?” I wanted to ask. “Julie’s my fiancé. We’re getting married in June.” I held my tongue and looked at the young girl who would soon be my wife. If this nosy woman were right, I’d be dead in seven years. On our seventh anniversary, I stayed awake until midnight just to be sure that the voice she had been listening to was not God’s. God’s Voice Vs. the Voices of Others God’s voice is not the only voice that speaks. Self and Satan can both wreak havoc in the lives of Christians who are unable to distinguish among the three. Have you ever wondered why there are so few prophets in the Bible? God asked  Hosea 1 , “Do you want to hear me speak?”“I’d love to be your prophet.”“Then, go marry a prostitute.” God asked Jeremiah, “Do you want to hear me speak?”“God, I’m too young to be a prophet; but, I’d love to hear you speak.” So God spoke to  Jeremiah 1 . But the price of hearing God’s message was high. The people cursed him, mocked him, tossed him in jail, and bound him in chains. They threw him in cisterns and beat him senseless. They humiliated him in stocks in the marketplaces. Worst of all, the people never believed a single word he said. One day God commanded  Isaiah 1 , “Take off your clothes.”“Why?”“Don’t ask me why. Just take them off.”“Well, for how long?”“Until I tell you to put them on again.” So Isaiah stripped off his clothes. Imagine the scene as he walked naked down the streets of Jerusalem. “Hey, Isaiah,” mocked the people, “where are your clothes?” “I took them off.”“Why?” Can you imagine the looks when he said, “Well, I heard this voice…”? Finally, three years later, God spoke: “Isaiah, put on your clothes and declare this word from Me: ‘As I have bared your buttocks, so I will bare the buttocks of Egypt and let the Assyrians spank them.'” Can you imagine that for three years he walked around bare-bottomed and the message wasn’t even for Israel ( Isaiah 20 )? Hearing God speak carries a high price tag. In  Exodus 20:18-19  the Israelites refused Moses’ invitation to come to the mountain and hear God speak: “When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, ‘Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But, do not have God speak to us or we will die.’” When we hear the voice of God nothing is ever the same again. Hearing from God produces a dramatic long-term calling that may well alter our choices, lives, values, focuses, and behaviors. This is a paradox. While hearing from God might cost us our lives, the voice of God opens the floodgates so that the Living Water of the  Holy Spirit  might flow from our innermost beings ( John 7:37-39 ) and open the door to abundant life ( John 10:10 ). Full love and intimacy with Jesus can occur only when we hear Him speak. Ways We Can Hear God Speak When is the last time you heard God speak? Some of us say, “Recently.” Others might say, “It’s been a long time.” Tragically, others say, “I am not certain that I have ever heard God speak.” In a day when the secular world is crying for answers, too many Christians are stuttering. I count at least nineteen different ways in the Bible that God speaks into the lives of His people. You may think of some more. If we have ears to hear, we can’t miss what He has to say. The Bible ( Psalms 119:105 ) Jesus Christ ( Hebrews 1:1-3 ) Sign and Wonders ( Acts 3:6-7 ) Tests ( Judges 6:36-38 ) Godly People ( Proverbs 8:32-34 ) Children at Bedtime ( 1 Samuel 3:8-9 ) The Creation ( Romans 1:20 ) Preachers and Prophets ( Acts 11:27-28 ) Donkeys ( Numbers 22:30 ) Bushes ( Exodus 3:1-4 ) Angels ( Luke 1:26-28 ) The Angel of the Lord ( Genesis 22:10-11 ) God’s Glory ( Exodus 33:18-19 ) Circumstances ( Acts 16:6-8 ) Reasons ( Isaiah 1:18 ) Dreams ( Joel 2:28 ) Visions ( Joel 2:28 ) Failures ( Matthew 26:75 ) Holy Spirit to Human Spirit ( Jeremiah 29:12-13 ) Discerning What God’s Voice Sounds Like The voice on the phone was familiar. I’d spoken with her before. She announced that she had a message for me from God. Without pausing, she launched into a detailed pronouncement that my wife Julie and I would soon suffer a divorce. I had neglected my wife, she said, and failed to build the kind of  marriage  that God intended for pastors; and thus, the penalty would be the forfeiture of my marriage. I knew enough not to laugh out loud or tell her what she could do with her message. Later, I considered the implications of her words. What if she were right? After all, the pages of Scripture are filled with stories of unusual people who did strange things as God led them to pronounce, “Thus saith the Lord, (fill in the blank)!” After all, there was some truth in what she said. What pastor ever spends enough time with his family? Was God upset and getting personally involved? Surely not? I called one of my spiritual advisors. “Jack,” I said, “I need your advice. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that her message was not from God. Just help me verify for certain.” He responded, “Did the warning give any hope for reconciling the marriage and avoiding the divorce?”“No.” “When God warned of doom in the Bible, He usually provided a means for avoiding the consequences—often by repentance and/or restitution. Did the message provide any hope for averting the divorce?”“No.” “Then the message was not from God.”“Thanks.” Over the years, I’ve developed a biblical checklist of what I think God’s voice sounds like. The list is in broad generalizations and is certainly not complete, nor foolproof. No one point is sufficient to prove or disprove the voice of God. Nevertheless, I believe that these principles are helpful when they line up in a sensible, godly fashion. God speaks in my innermost human spirit. Self or Satan speaks in my Soul ( Hebrews 4:12 ). God tends to speak with gentle leadings in contrast to what I often perceive to be the compulsive, clamoring, loud demands of Self or Satan ( 1 Kings 19:11-13 ). God’s voice produces freedom. Self’s or Satan’s voice often produces bondage ( Matthew 11:28-30 ). God tends to speak when we are consciously seeking Him. Self or Satan tend to speak with sudden intrusions of thoughts into the mind ( Jeremiah 29:12-13 ). When God speaks there is a definite sense that everything is under control. When Self or Satan speaks there is an inner sense that something is out of control ( Psalms 37:4 ). God gives clear-cut, specific directions. Self or Satan often communicates in confused, uncertain wonderings. God convicts of specific sins. Self and Satan often accuse in broad generalities that leave a lingering sense of haunting and unfocused guilt ( John 16:8 ). God speaks with 100 percent truth that can be tested by the Word of God. Self and Satan often traffic in lies, deceit, and half-truths ( John 14:6 ). God’s voice always leads to a deep, abiding sense of peace. Self or Satan often do not ( Philippians 4:7 ). God’s voice is testable and confirmed by the wisdom of many counselors ( Proverbs 11:14 ;  Deuteronomy 19:15 ; and  Matthew 18:16 ). Communicating Holy Spirit to Human Spirit We were considering the relocation of our church operations. Full parking lots and six weekend worship services had maxed out our site. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror one Saturday I almost dropped my razor at the thought that flashed into my mind. Instead of going to all the trouble and expense of relocating, why not purchase the eight houses surrounding our property? We could build a new worship center and expand our parking lots to make room for new growth. I thanked God for revealing this new course of action. I told our church leaders what God told me and led the church to make plans to purchase the adjoining houses. The surrounding subdivision deed restrictions required that a majority of the one-hundred fifty-six nearby homeowners agree with the required rezoning and sale. Six months, numerous unpleasant neighborhood association meetings, and well over one hundred irate neighbors later, we called off the deal. I was still licking my wounds when a wise saint said to me privately, “You ignored the Tenth Commandment: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.’” The most precious times I have with God are when we are communicating Holy spirit to human spirit. I often refer to my human spirit as my “knower.” Like, have you ever had those times when you just knew deep inside that God was talking to you? Most Christians tell me yes. The preacher was preaching on Jesus searching for lost sheep. All of a sudden, deep in my “knower,” I heard the voice of God: “Roger, you’re a lost sheep.” I was only seven, but the voice seemed so real. I said to Mom and Dad that night after church, “I’m a lost sheep, aren’t I?” Over the next several days my parents explained about lost and found sheep. I gave my heart to Jesus as my Savior and Shepherd, and was lost no longer. Two weeks later it was like the preacher stopped preaching and God was speaking to me. Deep in my “knower” He told me that one day I would be a preacher, too. And become one I did. I am careful in listening for the voice of God. His is not the only voice that speaks. I don’t want to be misled by my own imaginings, and I certainly do not care to be fooled by Satan’s temptations, accusations, or deceits. Neither do I want to be led astray by human ignorance, stupidity, or misguided spirituality. Following the guidelines of  Hebrews 4:12 , I quiet my mind and allow the Word of God to “divide between soul and spirit.” As I listen, I try to discern whether what I hear emanates from my soul (my mind), or from my deep, inner, human spirit where the Holy Spirit lives. The soul is the inner part of me which is my own mind or self. The soul is my organ for intellect, will, and emotions ( Hebrews 4:12 ). My human spirit is the center of my worship and communication with Jesus. As we mature spiritually, our increasing spiritual experience and discernment allow us to distinguish between soul and spirit. The ability to distinguish between them is critical because God indwells and speaks in our human spirit while Self and Satan have access only to our soul. When we discern that the internal voice is coming from our spirit we know that God is speaking. When we discern that the internal voice is coming from our soul, we know that Self, or possibly even Satan, is speaking. When properly cultivated, our human spirit is most dependable and useful in hearing God speak. God speaks to us in the Bible and we speak to Him in prayer. This is described as  praying in the mind . The Holy Spirit also speaks to us in our innermost human spirit. We speak back from out of our innermost human spirit to the Holy Spirit. This what Paul calls  praying in the spirit . Whenever I sense what may be a word from God, I refuse to accept it until I carefully consider whether I am hearing from God, Myself, Satan, or hard-of-hearing, misguided humans. When people say, “God told me…” I often respond, “How are you certain the words were from God?” If they can’t give a definitive answer then I seldom consider the message they are delivering. I don’t want to make a mistake and follow the wrong voice. Well. Tom, I hope this helps! Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, Why does it seems, churches or missionaries seem to be oblivious to us trying to pay tithes and offering every time we come to service. They never stop asking for money. Life is a struggle. Sincerely, D   Dear D, Let Share Some Reasons Why The Church and Missionaries Should Talk About Money And Ask For It Consistently. FIRST: OUR GREATEST FOE IN THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS NOT SATAN; IT IS MATERIALISM. In our United States, Materialism, the rival god to the real God, has destroyed more marriages and lives than Satan ever will. Jesus recognized this: “You cannot serve both God and Money” ( Matthew 6:24 ). Materialism is the only other god that He mentioned during His earthly ministry. Materialism is our greatest spiritual rival. When I teach my classes on Biblical Economics I use a checklist to help people analyze whether or not they are struggling with the sin of Materialism. Materialism is when Money is more important to us than God. What Are The Symptoms Of The Sin Of Materialism? Overspending Compulsive buying Being discontent with what we have Holding on to more wealth than we need (Hoarding) Failing to give God the top portion of our income Spending everything we make and saving nothing for the future Borrowing money for depreciating items (credit cards) Cheating on our income tax Using a credit card and not paying off or being able to pay off the balance completely at the end of the month Getting nervous or upset when the pastor preaches on money   Hopefully, pastors and missionaries talk about money to help people find victory over sin as well as to experience financial blessing.   SECOND: FOLLOWING THE PRINCIPLES OF BIBLICAL ECONOMICS GUARANTEES SUCCESS, GOD’S BLESSING.   God has clearly laid out His plan for how we handle our money. If we do it well He promises to bless us. If we fail to obey then he promises to curse us.   “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, How do we rob you?’ “In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse … because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse,  … Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven …” ( Malachi 3:8-11 ).   Biblical Economics Has Five Major Foundational Pillars.   1. Pay God His 10% Tithe.   God lays out the principle that the first 10% of what we earn belongs to Him.   Jesus said: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices — mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law — justice, mercy and faithfulness. YOU SHOULD HAVE PRACTICED THE LATTER, WITHOUT NEGLECTING THE FORMER ( Matthew 23:23 ).   2. Pay The Government Their Share.   Paul taught: “This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue” ( Romans 13:6-7 ).   3. Spend Less Than You Make.   Solomon observed: “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has” (Proverb 21:20).   4. Stay Out Of Debt For Depreciating Items.   Paul instructed: “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another” ( Romans 13:8 ).   5. Save Some For Future Needs.   Solomon said: “Go to the ant , you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest” ( Proverbs 6:6-8 ).   6. Have Some Left Over To Give To The Poor, to God’s work.   Solomon demonstrated the importance of having a surplus to give to the poor: “He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses” Proverbs 28:27 ).   Biblical Economics seems unreachable to so many people. That is because most Americans spend more than they make.   If you decide to commit yourself to good Biblical Economics remember that it all begins with the tithe. I recommend that people in financial stress don’t try to fix it all at once. I suggest that they start with 2% and repent and confess to God their sin of materialism and not being able to give the tithe right now because of their sin. Then increase your giving by 1% or 2% and after several years you will be up to the 10% tithe.   THIRD: MONEY IS ESSENTIAL FOR FUNDING MINISTRIES AND ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS.   Staff needs to be compensated. Missionaries need tools and living expenses. Church mortgages need to be paid. Floors need to be waxed. Money must be laid aside for those in need. Training materials must be purchased. Church parking lots need upkeep. Utilities must be paid. Overseas evangelism endeavors need continual financial support. Of course, as a church grows, buildings need building.   I remember an angry woman chastising me for our church not paying the mortgage of her friend when she lost her job. “This church has so much money,” she said, “and you won’t help her?! What kind of loving church is this. It is all a fraud.” My response was short and simple. “I am sorry, the money is all already allocated for other things or spent. There is none left. The real problem is that the average church person gives less than 1.5% of their income to the church or missionary causes. ” I pictured her as one of those “Dollar Christians” who look in her purse and pull out a dollar or two for the offering plate. I am sure that I was not wrong. She had nothing more to say.   FOURTH: FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL TAXES HAVE TAKEN AWAY THE ABILITY OF THE CHURCH TO ACCOMPLISH MANY OF ITS GOD-GIVEN RESPONSIBILITIES.   Once upon a time churches had resources and funds to care for the poor and needy. Churches founded hospitals, orphanages, bread lines, soup kitchens, and shelter for the poor.   There was no income tax when the church took care of the nation’s welfare. Then, in 1913 income tax was instituted to raise a few funds for a partial operation of the federal government. Income tax was approved by Congress with the understanding that foreign tariffs would basically fund the government. The average income tax was around 1%. Pundits theorized that the income tax would never approach even 10%. Were they wrong or not! Today the average individual or family works from January 1 to May 15 to pay their governmental tax requirements. The government is now the one responsible for welfare care. It is no wonder the church tries so hard to raise funds for social needs. We have the responsibility while the ability of church people to give has been usurped by the various governments of the land. Missionary living expenses medical care, travel and supplies can be outrageous.   FIFTH: PASTORS, CHURCH LEADERS AND MISSION ORGANIZATIONS MUST USE WISDOM AND BALANCE IN RAISING FUNDS.   Church leaders are to inspire the people to give according to God’s plans. Inspiration revolves around financial success for both the individual and society. This can be exciting and inspirational. Unfortunately, too many churches approach this subject with fear of offending someone or by using guilt to try to motivate the people.   Personally, I used every opportunity to teach and inspire the people about the joys of investing in God’s kingdom. I wanted everyone to hold the offering plate as it passed by to remind them of the importance of Biblical Economics.   We were careful to tell our guests that they were not expected to give anything until Casas, our church, became their church home.   Some churches put a box in the foyer and hope people put something in the box as they enter or leave. I am embarrassed by those churches. God deserves something better than a box. God’s work deserves more than a “tip.”   Looking at the pastor’s heart, the missionary’s heart, balance can only occur when one humbles himself enough to remember that any money given is for God’s sake and not for his.   By the way, the pastor is the chief fund raiser of money in the church. The top five priorities of the church may fluctuate but raising money must be somewhere in those five.   It is hard to prioritize, and the priorities will change with different people. However, next to preaching and to developing my own spiritual life, I considered raising money and teaching Biblical Economics to be the most important things that I did.   Well D, I hope this helps.   Love, Ask Roger   P.S. Shortly after answering D’s question he emailed me the following note: Thank You, it helps to know the right thing. D.

Dear Roger, Please help me! My family and I belong to a church were cliques are always formed- even the leadership seem to be encouraging it. I’ve held on for years but it’s getting worse and what’s more, my daughter is now 10 and maturing very quickly. I have decided to leave for a church were God’s love is being practiced. I do accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world but my daughter has been feeling the negative impact of the cliques as well. I need her to understand that God is not like that and hence my decision to leave. My husband on the other hand, demands I stay with him in the church.  I need biblical advice as to what to do. I didn’t go church last week and the thought of being in that church gives me shivers down the spine. Sunday is approaching and I need help. I don’t want to stay at home this Sunday. Please help!  Jennifer   Dear Jennifer,   I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain and stress. Church is supposed to be a safe place. This may help you in deciding what you should do.   First, I’m glad that your husband wants to attend church. Many women long to have a spouse who wants to be the spiritual leader of the family and take them to church. Peter wrote a letter to wives desiring to evangelize their non-Christian husbands, but the principle is still effective when you and your husband are at an impasse regarding choosing a church home:   “If you are a wife, you must put your husband first. Even if he opposes our message (the gospel, in this case) you will win him over by what you do. No one else will have to say anything to him, because he will see how you honor God and live a pure life.” 1 Peter 3:1-2 CEV   Pray for God to protect your marriage, your family and your husband during these difficult times. Keep your family worshipping together. Don’t make negative comments about the church in front of your child. Discuss these quietly with your husband. I’ve had many experiences where children leave the church as soon as they can because Mom and Dad complained about church issues in front of their children.   Take the opportunity to have a dialogue between you, your husband and your daughter. If your daughter is shy, or has trouble verbalizing her feelings, you might ask her some questions about her experiences at church:   “Do you feel accepted at church? Do you feel overlooked? Do you feel others say unkind words about you? Tell us what you are experiencing.” Be patient. Give her time to express her feelings. Comfort her. Look for those “teachable moments” when she seems ready to be vulnerable.   Remember too that most girls your daughter’s age struggle with low self-esteem and acceptance. The “mean girl” preteens she encounters are probably as insecure as she. Every child needs affection, attention, affirmation and approval from his or her parents. The more you and your husband minister to the needs in your daughter’s life at this fragile juncture, the more confident she will be in any social setting. You can’t always control your daughter’s environment. You can only give her the tools to survive and succeed.    People need each other, and God’s design is for our aloneness needs to be met within the context of a healthy church body. God abhors cliques because they leave too many people feeling isolated and alone. This aloneness is antithetical to the principles of God’s plan. Here is what God wants a church to be like:   “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47  praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” ( Acts 2:42-47 ).   People tend to associate with others who are most like themselves. While this behavior ministers to their aloneness, those outside the “inner circle” leave others alone and hurting.   One possible way to deal with a clique is by asking for prayer. Here is a suggestion. Approach someone in the clique and say to them that you are really hurting and struggling. Most people like to help those in need, and that may be the crack that opens the door. Some groups are just dysfunctional. If they don’t respond with compassion, don’t wait for them to meet your needs. Look elsewhere.   Every church is full of hurting people. Some are hurting more than you and could use your kindness, prayers and mentorship. God can meet so many needs in your own life as you serve someone else. Search for those in the congregation who need your help and support. Serve somewhere in a church ministry. Rock the babies or bring meals to the home-bound.   I will pray that God sends you a trustworthy, mature woman who can pray with you about these matters. You need a safe place. Midweek Bible studies in the community may also help those aloneness needs to be met.   Ideally, your husband would agree to look for a place where all of you are happy.   I hope this helps.  Sincerely, Roger

Hi Roger, A short time ago I heard a sermon by Glenn and it seemed that he was teaching that tithing was obligatory. However, as I study the New Testament scriptures it seems that generous (as one is able) and cheerful giving is taught to New Covenant believers rather than tithing. Please explain and thanks. Andy Dear Andy, I will deal with you query regarding the “giving generously and cheerfully” at the end of my answer. But, first, let me lay a foundation by tracing the significance of tithing.   At face value the answer to your question is simple. Jesus endorsed the principle of tithing. If Jesus taught that the top-ten percent of what we make is immediately set aside to give to God, then we set aside the top-ten percent and bring it to God.   While scolding the Pharisees for neglecting the proper-heart attitudes of love and relationships, Jesus endorsed the practice of tithing. Matthew quoted His pronouncement in Matthew 23:23 : “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices — mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.”   The Pharisees should have practiced the heart attitudes of justice, mercy and faithfulness (the latter) without neglecting their tithes (the former).   The word “tithe” literally means “the top of the heap.” This comes from the large pile of treasures Abraham captured from the four kings who kidnapped his nephew, Lott, and his family. He took the top portion of the captured spoils of war and offered it to God through Melchizedek, the priest of Salem (Jerusalem).   The principle of tithing is instituted in Genesis 14:18-21 : “Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High, and he blessed Abram, saying, ‘Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth. And blessed be God Most High, who delivered your enemies into your hand.’ Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.”   By the way, this passage is authenticated by the Book of Hebrews as a deliberate foreshadowing of Jesus Christ. Jesus is identified as the high priest (Melchizedek) who offers bread and wine on the cross. Melchizedek received from Abraham a tenth as an offering to God. Jesus taught that giving the top tenth was a required offering to God.   Occasionally, someone will negate paying tithes by declaring that tithing was part of the Mosaic Law and we are now living in the age of Grace not “under the Law”. But, notice, the principle of tithing was put in place almost 500 years before God gave the Law to Moses.   God considers neglecting to pay a tithe to be the same as robbing from Him. In scolding the priests in the Book of Malachi He declared in Malachi 3:8-12 : “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’ In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit,” says the LORD Almighty. “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.   Notice the above curse. Could you ever imagine God placing a curse on His people? This tells us that He considers the tithe to be not only an act of worship but also a recognition of submission to His Lordship!   On the other hand, notice the promised blessing for those who faithfully offer to Him the top portion of their income. By the way, this is the only place in the Bible where God invites us to test Him. What an offer!   Now, let’s delve into the “giving generously” part of your question.   Even a cursory reading of 2 Corinthians 8-9 reveals that Paul was encouraging those who were financially blessed to give to a special offering for the beleaguered church in Jerusalem. Famine was raging there and all were suffering. Paul was in the process of collecting an offering throughout the churches of Greece to take personally to the brothers and sisters in need. By the way, notice throughout the passage how Paul stimulated competition among the churches to see which would give the most! He was a master fundraiser!   In 2 Corinthians 9:6-11 he wrote words of principle and encouragement: “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work…. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.   The issue before us is not, “Do I tithe or do I give generously as I am blessed?” We do not choose one over the other! We do both! We bring our tithes to God. In addition, many use the term “offerings” to describe giving over and above our tithes. No matter what our income level the tithe is portrayed in the Bible as a minimum—a minimum starting point. Even the poorest are to give a tithe. This puts us not only in obedience to God but also in position to receive His blessing ( Malachi 3 ).   Biblical economics is designed by God to increase our income so that over time those who have more can share with those less fortunate. Out of our surplus comes our ability to give generously to others.   Unfortunately, most American Christians have little or no surplus. They have neglected simple Biblical economics. As a result, they are up to their eyeballs in debt and can’t afford to pay off their credit card debts—much less to pay God His tithe. They have spent God’s money on themselves. Can you imagine that He is less than impressed—to put it mildly? Robbing God—by the way, the term really means “embezzling from God”—still goes on today.   Where do we give our tithes and offerings? In the Old Testament God had the people bring their tithes to the Temple in Jerusalem which He referred to as the “storehouse.” I think that a good parallel today is the local church we attend. The tithes provide for the ongoing existence and funding of the ministries of the church.   On the other hand, I think that our offerings may be given to any good cause which furthers the Kingdom of God on earth. For example, the Lord promises blessings to those who care for the poor. Evangelization and global outreach are other giving places to consider.   Do we pay our tithes based on our gross or net income? We base our tithes on what we make—not on how much we have left after the government takes out its taxes. God comes first—not the government.   Well, Andy, I hope this answer provides some insight to your question. I will look forward to seeing your tithes and offerings in a giving envelope this Sunday—just kidding.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, A friend of mine criticized me for some life decisions I have made. I believe it is none of his business. However, he is a really good friend, so I am not sure what to do with his words of rebuke. Should I blow him off and not worry about it? Should I feel guilty? Should I defend myself? How should I respond? Sincerely, H.T. Dear H., Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. No one enjoys it; but Proverbs teaches that good criticism is one of the best things that can happen to us. Proverb 12:1 declares: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Since criticism is hard to handle, mentally, emotionally and physically, we want to learn how to handle it well—like David handled it when Nathan confronted him over his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and subsequent murder of her husband, Uriah. Therefore, offering and receiving criticism is an art. Here are just a few tips listed below to help: Have The right attitude. No One Knows Everything; So, Don’t Be A “Know It All.” Proverb 29:1.  No One Knows Everything; So, Develop A Learning  Heart. Proverbs 2:1-5 . No One Is Perfect, So Welcome Rebuke, Even If It Stings. Proverb 25:12. People Have Different Priorities And Expectations; So Evaluate Criticism In Light Of Your Purposes And Calling In Life. Proverb 1:1-6. Consider The Source. Some People Can’t Be Satisfied; Some Criticisms Aren’t Worth Engaging; Some People Aren’t Worth Listening To. Have The right response. Stop and look at the person. Criticism is serious business. Proverb 10:17. Listen to what they have to say. Don’t answer too quickly. Proverb 18:13. Not everyone sees from the same perspective. Accept their perception as real and valid. Proverb 12:15 Resist the temptation to defend. Don’t accuse or use labels. Proverb 23:9. Don’t act like a fool by changing the subject or joking. Proverb 10:8. Seek to understand what was really meant—and said. Restate the critic’s words and feelings in your own words to ensure that you both are talking about the same thing. Proverb 16:21 Let your wisdom show. Respond appropriately with humility, gratitude and apologies, if warranted. Evaluations: If the criticism is true, make appropriate changes. If not, ignore it. Proverbs 13:18 . A Word to Critics. Words are powerful things. Be careful what you say and how you say it. Timing is sometimes more important than truth. You may not know as much about what is going on as you think you do. “Great is the man who can accept criticism. Greater yet is he who welcomes it. But greatest of all is he who knows how to administer it in a spirit of love and sensitivity without causing pain or chagrin.” (Rabbi Norman Lamm) Hope this helps. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Please I need help right now. Today I have just committed adultery, seduced by a prostitute at a hotel and I am staying (I am not trying to justify the action) in a foreign country when my wife is back at home. Since then I have a feeling that I have totally destroyed my spiritual life which had taken years to build and I just came across your website through internet search. I also have a position church and have been critical of sexual immorality in church. I came across an article on religious tolerance which says there is no longer any hope for me as this is an unforgivable sin. To be honest I am quite sure that this is my last as the whole thing was regret after regret, including during the act itself. What do I have to do to be forgiven for this sin and to regain the confidence that I had? Am I already doomed to hell? Anonymous Church Leader Dear  Brother, Adultery is NOT an unforgivable sin. You are not already doomed to Hell. The only unforgivable sin is unbelief in Christ. When we confess our sins and trust Jesus as our Lord and Savior He forgives all our sin for all time. You still have a home in Heaven. That is secure. What you don’t have is security from all the consequences of your sin. First, we will talk about getting things right with God. Then we must talk about how to handle the consequences. Regaining your fellowship with God is your first objective. Remember 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, God will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Paul wrote that “godly sorrow” is an integral part of restoration: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” ( 2 Corinthians 7:10 ). Godly sorrow means that we feel like Jesus felt when He watched us do what we did. This means that we replay our sin in our minds and imagine what Jesus was thinking as He watched us sin. This will break our hearts with sorrow. You are obviously experiencing godly sorrow. The road is open for you to return to fellowship with God. The Christians in Ephesus lost their initial relationship of love with Jesus. He told them to Remember what it was like when they first fell in love with Jesus. Repent that is not that way anymore. Then, Repeat the things that you did when you first fell in love with Jesus. Jesus said to them: “Consider how far you have fallen (Remember)! Repent and do the things you did at first (Repeat)” (Revelations 2:5). God forgave David of his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, Uriah. Take a moment and read Psalm 51 and pray with David as he grieved over his sin and the break in his fellowship with God. Then, pray with David as he experienced God’s forgiveness. But, this is not the end of the matter. God Unfortunately, like David there are consequences to your behaviors. David’s next child died in infancy and his family was cursed with murder, incest, rebellion and hatred. You, too, must face the consequences of you sin. I am so sorry for the personal pain you will be enduring. Let me mention just a few of the possible consequences: Consider shame. Facing your wife, children, family and pastor will be incredibly shameful. Healing from the shame of what you have done will for most people take a long time. So, don’t be surprised and don’t be disappointed if you don’t struggle with shame both before God as well as you family and/or friends. You have broken trust with those who depended on you. Trust will not be rebuilt over night. Loss and depression will at times overwhelm you. You are no longer qualified to minister in your church. The issue here is betrayal of truth and honesty and a loss of leadership. Rejection may dog your heals. So many trusted you and placed faith in you, and now they feel so disappointed in you. They may not want to spend as much time as they used to. Your marriage may or may not survive. Imagine the shame, rejection, loss of trust, and anger that your wife will experience. I could go and on describing the consequences that you may face. But, I will stop here. I don’t want to overwhelm you. May I share a word of encouragement? I have counseled and ministered to many people who have committed adultery. If you hang in there and don’t quit there is every chance in the world that all will eventually be restored and you can have a fulfilled and profitable life. But, I do want to talk to you about the great temptation to hide your sin. Since you were in a foreign country, if you just keep quiet maybe you can keep it all a secret. You can avoid most all of the consequences. There seem to be two approaches in handling this issue with or without others. One is to keep quiet. Some counselors say that there is no reason to inflict pain and suffering on others by telling them what you’ve done so keep it quiet. I agree that there are some secrets in our past that are better kept untold. But, in your case, as a Christian, the problem is that hidden sin will eat out your soul. David talked about how sickness and misery overwhelmed him when he kept quiet about his sin. But spiritual and emotional relief commenced as he came clean about what he had done. After dealing with this issue hundreds of times, my opinion is that you can take your medicine now or you can take it later. It is much better to confess to your wife and pastor now while you have many years ahead to restore what you have done. However, the longer you wait and hope that your sin is never found out may not leave you much time to fix your broken relationships with your wife, family and friends when it is one day exposed. I am truly sorry for what has happened in your life. This should never happen to anyone. Fortunately, many have endured these same storms and come through them stronger than ever. May God grant that to be the case in your life. I know of many couples who have weathered these storms and come through with relationships stronger than they ever were before. I am enclosing below the story of one man who faced much the same circumstances as yours and came out victoriously. I hope his experience will help you as well as others who may be following in your footsteps. May God grant you good days ahead. Love, Roger An Anatomy Of Lust –by an Anonymous Pastor When I was a young pastor, Christianity Today developed a practical quarterly journal for pastors called, appropriately, Leadership Journal. One of the early articles was written by an anonymous pastor detailing his descent into pornography. “An Anatomy of Lust” was a fascinating article. We couldn’t pass it around the church office fast enough. The anonymous pastor was preaching a conference in a particular city and decided to spurn a ride back to his hotel since the hotel was only a few blocks away. It was a lovely evening so he chose to walk. On the way he passed a strip joint. He’d never entered one of these before. He said to himself, “I’ll just duck in here and take a quick look.” When he got inside he saw things he had never seen before—never imagined he would see—never planned to see. Unfortunately, he was hooked. That night in his hotel room, overcome with shame and guilt, he thought, “I’ll never see the light of morning. I’ve committed such a horrible sin that God is going to kill me tonight.” He imagined the hotel roof caving in upon him during the night. But, lo and behold, he woke up just as he had every other day of his life. Pastoral work is hard enough without living a double life. The anonymous pastor detailed the dark side as he struggled with porn. He fell deeper into sexual voyeurism, devoured pornographic magazines, and put dollars in places he shouldn’t be putting dollars. The shame and guilt were incredible. He tried some of the standard ways to find freedom from bondage. “God, take it away!” he cried; but that did not work. He tried will power with no success. “I will never do it again!” he promised God; but, he did. Fleshly will power and repentance and surrender to the Spirit all proved ultimately ineffective. Flying across the western United States he struggled with how his sin was affecting His marriage. He now had a whole sex life apart from his wife. She was realizing that something was wrong, but couldn’t quite put her finger on it. He looked out the window and prayed, “God, since I can’t get victory over my sin of pornography, would you just strike me blind? I’m going to close my eyes and while they are closed I am asking you to strike me blind. He was desperate. But, when he opened his eyes he could still see the desert out the window. God didn’t take away his sight. In the midst of the article he shared a great insight into the lie of pornography: “The great lie of internet porn, sexting, Playboy, TV commercials, and racy movies is that the physical ideal of beauty is attainable and oh, so close. The truth is, of course, that if I sat next to Miss October, she wouldn’t give me the time of day.” Sports Illustrated magazine puts out an annual swimsuit issue with increasingly scantily clad women. The first cover photo in their history to “cross the line of decency” was of super model Cheryl Tiegs wearing a fishnet swimsuit. At this point Anonymous Pastor gained an insight which began leading to his freedom. He wrote, “I began to realize that I can have luscious Cheryl if I wanted–teeth flashing, breasts exposed, and coming right at me out of the magazine. I can have luscious Cheryl,” he said. “But, I can’t have Cheryl and also have God.” Two Christian classics, The City of God by St. Augustine, and What I Believe by the fifteenth century French priest Francois Muriac, contained the keys that opened the door to his freedom. Anonymous Pastor wrote: “I began reading a brief and simple book of memoirs, What I Believe, by Francois Muriac. After brazenly denying the most common reasons I have heard against succumbing to a life filled with lust, Muriac concludes that there is only one reason to seek purity. It is the reason Christ proposed in the Beatitudes: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Purity, says Muriac, is the condition for a higher love—for a possession superior to all possessions: God Himself. Sins are not a list of petty irritations drawn up for the sake of a jealous God. They are, rather, a description of the impediments to spiritual growth. We are the ones who suffer if we sin, by forfeiting the development of character and Christlikeness that would have resulted if we had not sinned.” Cheryl Tiegs coming toward me out of the page, her teeth flashing, her eyes sparkling, her body glistening, is that City of Man. The pure in heart shall see God. Set against luscious Cheryl, somehow that promise does not seem like much. But that is the lie of the Deceiver. The City of God is the real, the substantial, the whole. What I become as I strengthen my citizenship in that kingdom is far more worthy than anything I could become if all my fantasies were somehow fulfilled. “I can have my sin if I want to,” summarized anonymous pastor, but I cannot have my sin and also have pure access to God—and somehow or other, the desire to see God means more than my desire to see Cheryl.” We can sin if we choose; but, we must remember that the degree to which we sin is the degree to which we impair our abilities to see and hear from God! “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.”