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Dear Roger,   I’ve struggled with fear, anxiety and worry my whole life. Now, more than ever, death, disease and financial uncertainty plague all of us. My mother used to tell me that the best way to handle worry was to imagine the very worst thing that could happen. Then, she’d say, “Things would never be that bad.” I was groomed to think the worst.   My friend’s dad took a different approach. He’d say, “Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you think it is.” That philosophy helped a lot until one day another friend said, “Sometimes things are worse.”   I know that you’ve occasionally mentioned from the pulpit some of your own severe struggles with fear, anxiety, worry.. Could you please give me some thoughts on how to handle things when my worst fears come true?   Sincerely, Lewis   Dear Lewis,   Once upon a time, we asked our church family to write down and share with us their greatest fear. We received over 400 responses.   Here are three of them:   “I’m afraid I will never fall in love.”  “That my (Christian) husband will someday leave me for another woman especially as I grow older, and I will end up living under a bridge.” “I’m afraid the cancer will return and I won’t see it.”   The best example of someone’s worst fears coming true has to be what happened to Job (Job chapters 1-2). Let’s use him in his responses as a model.   In a quick and brutal sweep of calamities, allowed by God, but engineered by Satan, Job is left penniless, homeless, helpless, and childless.   On Day One Job lost his family and his possessions.  But on Day Two, it got personal. Who could have guessed that the next day he’d be sitting in the garbage dump, covered from head to toe with painful boils, scraping off dead skin with a piece of broken pottery.   At this point Job revealed that his absolute worst fears were coming true: “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me” ( Job 3:25 ).   For Job, as for many of us, there was no date, no warning, no understanding. It’s just that one day things were fine and the next day they were horrible. One day he was healthy and moments later he was sick unto death.   His worst fears came true.   Let’s consider some of the nightmarish fears that actually came true for Job— and are still things to fear today.   JOB FEARED PHYSICAL PAIN.   We do not know the disease he suffered, but we know it was so painful that he couldn’t sleep at night.  It was gory.  It was tormenting.   We all fear to some level a failing body or long-time experience with pain. I’ve walked often through the doors which nurses have told me should be emblazoned with the words, “Man’s greatest inhumanity to man.” I’m talking about the ICU unit at the local hospital where patients are kept alive medically and not allowed to die naturally. Pain.   I’ve told Julie that if I end up in the hospital with debilitating pain to call my doctor and have them turn off my pacemaker. I don’t want to die in pain. Neither do you.   I know what it’s like to live in great physical pain. Too many operations in too many places. But there’s one pain I fear greatly. It’s called, “the devil’s grip”, which occurs when the fluid in the pericardial sac around the heart dries up. Those who measure pain with an brain-inserted electrodes say that kidney stones and childbirth shrink to insignificance in the presence of “the devil’s grip.” I suffered with it twice— which is twice too many. I fear it.   JOB FEARED EMOTIONAL PAIN.   Sometimes the emotional pain is so great that we can’t even begin to process it.   One of our daughters was sexually molested in high school. She was so horrified and shamed that she buried her secret deep within. She carried that pain for years. She joined the fencing team in college. Occasionally, she’d stab with her rapier at a man’s crotch. The pain in her subconscious mind was manifesting itself in inappropriate ways because of what she had experienced. Not long afterward she fell in love and built up enough courage to tell her fiancée. After months of intense counseling, she found late emotional healing.   In my online, “Ask Roger,” column, at “ piti.wpengine.com ”, I’ve dealt with hundreds of women whose marriages bring nothing but pain, embarrassment, abuse, rejection, abandonment and misery. Marriage was never designed by God to be like that. However, far and away the most frequent issue that I deal with is the emotional pain suffered by women because of an abusive, jerk of a husband. The worst fears of these women has come. It’s gut wrenching to see their fear and pain.   JOB FEARED MENTAL ANGUISH.   He couldn’t comprehend how he and his wife would survive. He was wondering what terrible calamity would come next.   In college, Julie was stalked for several weeks until the police finally got involved. Her apartment was broken into by the stalker. She was afraid to walk home at night.   In Tucson, we finally stopped telling the church family whenever I was leaving town for a conference in another city. The problem was that whenever I left town Julie would receive frightening prank calls. One night when I was gone the phone rang and a man said, “I’m on the roof, and I’ve come to get you.” Julie began to have nightmares whenever forced to be alone. Her mental anguish during these times was debilitating.   SPIRITUAL PAIN WAS PROBABLY JOB’S DEEPEST FEAR COME TRUE.   He felt that the God he knew and loved and served and worshiped had forsaken him.  His wife, his beloved partner, told him to curse God and die.  He wondered over and over again why God would let this happen to him.  I have grieved with many people who have suffered spiritual pain in unspeakable ways. Many feel that that God deserted them in their most desperate moments. Some feel that He has led or left them in some difficulty that was all His doing—and they are struggling to find solutions on their own.   The broken faith that they dreamed would never happen to them has come.   “WHAT SHALL WE DO WHEN THE THINGS WE FEARED THE MOST COME TRUE?”   1. WE CAN EXPERIENCE THE LOVING HEART OF gOD THE FATHER THROUGH Jesus Christ.   God the Father understands and has experienced fears and the horror of those fears coming true. Jesus struggled with fear and dread.   Matthew 26:38 : Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane facing death: “ Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’”    Matthew 27:46 : About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi,  lama sabachthani?”-which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?   His worst fear was finally realized? He was separated from His Father.   However, it wasn’t long until the relationship was restored. We will often discover that what seems to be forsaking is just the prelude for deepening love and kingdom success.   God’s “perfect love” is able to cast out fear: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear… We love because he first loved us” ( 1 John 4:18-19 ).   2. WE CAN EXPERIENCE PEACE BECAUSE OUR SUFFERING IS FOR SOMETHING—and FOR someone.   “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold” ( Job 23:10 ).   Scientists are now able to measure the intensity of the pain we feel. They can measure that a migraine hurts more than a skinned knee.   And they have determined that two of the most painful things human beings can experience are giving birth and passing a kidney stone (and the “devils grip”).   But the two are so different. The pain of passing a kidney stone is simply pointless suffering, the result of a natural malfunction in our bodies. But the pain of birth is creative pain. It is pain that has meaning, life giving pain that leads to something special. That is why the person who passes a kidney stone will usually say, “I’d give anything not to have to go through that again.” But, the woman who has given birth to a child can transcend her pain and contemplate repeating the experience. “Honey, I think I am ready to have another one.”   No one wants to suffer for nothing (kidney stone). We handle it better if we are suffering for something (having a baby).   We handle life best if we understand that even our greatest fears have a purpose in the plan of God.   “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” ( Hebrews 12 :10-11).   3. WE CAN EXPERIENCE CONTENTMENT BECAUSE GOD PROMISES TO POUR IN THE POWER WHEN WE NEED IT.   “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” ( Philippians 4:11-13 ).   4. IT’S PROBABLY TIME TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.   I’ve used coping mechanisms of every sort in attempts to alleviate my fears, anxieties and worries. I’ve done everything from putting them in imaginary boxes and closing the lids to spending two or three hours at the gym just trying to get enough endorphins to get emotionally up off the floor.   I’ve found much relief from discovering that much of my worry, fears and anxieties are chemically driven by the neurotransmitters in my brain. Ongoing, out-of-control worries fears and anxieties are mostly brain chemistry issues. Of course, there are times that we need to be afraid, anxious and worried because of bad circumstances surrounding us. However, if our problem is ongoing and not just situational, then under a doctor’s care the right medical drugs can bring much of the worry, fear and anxiety to a screeching halt.   Of course, no amount of medical help could have isolated Job from the sufferings and fears he endured. Nevertheless, the right medicines could have made a big difference in how he handled everything that happened to him.   Well, Roger I hope that you find some useful thoughts as I shared my thoughts. With God’s help and grace, and perhaps balanced medical care, your life will be much more enjoyable.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I’ve had three daughters. The first one died in my arms. The second one has debilitating medical challenges. She’s lain on a deathbed more than once. The third one struggled with depression and mania in the past. How do you handle it well when your children are suffering? Sincerely, Anna   Dear Anna,   Children are not supposed to die before their parents.   Unfortunately, children are not immune from pain and/or suffering– neither are mom and dad.   Let me share a few thoughts on how to handle it well when your children are suffering.   FIRST, CONCENTRATE ON WORKING THROUGH, AND COMPLETING, THE SIX STAGES OF GRIEF.   1. Shock 2. Denial 3. Grief 4. Anger 5. Depression 6. Resolution   These stages often occur in this order, but not always. Sometimes we are working through a mixture of two or more at the same time. Many people work through all of the stages and get healed. Some, unfortunately, never reach step-six resolution and thus short circuit the healing process. Please, don’t be in a hurry. We will work on these steps for any number of years. I know you still experience waves of grief. Sometimes a trigger will unearth the pain. But resolution can still come. The deepest hope lies in the assurance that we spend eternity together, and it will be here before we know it. SECOND, SECURE SOME FRIENDS WITH WHOM YOU CAN POUR OUT YOUR HEART. It’s not good to handle suffering alone. Jesus says, “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.” Only mourning and comforting heels hurts. We can’t do this alone. I know that it sounds difficult to find some friends like that. But it is worth a try. Bond deeply with your church group and spend time with them. Open up and allow them to comfort you. Find a prayer partner you trust and pray with her honestly and often. A spiritual mother or father can inspire you because you can watch how they navigate deep waters of sorrow and emulate his or her godly life. THIRD, SOLIDIFY YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST SO YOU CAN ENTER FULLY INTO HIS GRACE. Read 2 Corinthians chapters 11 and 12 and Philippians 4:10-14 . Recognize that the overcoming grace that Jesus gave to Paul in his sufferings is the same overwhelming power and grace that Jesus can give to us to empower us to handle well the suffering of your children. FOURTH, COVER YOUR SUFFERING CHILD WITH SUPPORT, UNDERSTANDING, ENCOURAGEMENT AND COMFORT. BE SURE HEALTHY FAMILY MEMBERS STILL RECEIVE LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT AND ATTENTION. Be there when your children need you. When they call, you come. FINALLY, START EARLY TO HELP THEM FASHION THE TOOLS THAT THEY’LL NEED TO STAND STRONG IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith— of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire— may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” ( 1 Peter 1:6-7 ). Recently, my second born wrote on Facebook her story of intense suffering and the grace God gives her to handle it.   She writes:   I don’t talk about this much.   It’s too hard. But God calls me to share it now and then. This is one of those times.   I know, because I heard Him challenge me, deep in my heart.   “Brie, it’s time. Again. Will you choose to say ‘It is well’? Are you going to trust me?”   My husband, Brad, and I led worship for our church yesterday. I LOVE singing with Brad. That’s partly how I knew he was the man God had for me. In fact, after our second date, I left the country for a few weeks. Brad made me a CD of himself singing hymns and worship songs. I listened to it every night. (Note to guys courting a woman, serenading her every night—even thru a good, old CD—is a BRILLIANT idea.   And I married the man. Best decision of my life.   But I digress.   Yesterday morning, I woke up to the sound of Brad practicing one of the songs for the service, an unusual arrangement of “It Is Well with My Soul.”   Grander earth has quaked before Moved by the sound of His voice Seas that are shaken and stirredCan be calmed and broken for my regardEven when my eyes can’t seeWill be thrown into the midst of the sea Ten years ago, I remember laying in a hospital bed with a serious case of pneumonia. Every breath hurt. In fact, everything hurt…and I was terrified. I dare you to find anything more frightening than fighting for a breath that won’t come.   But then, I heard my doctor and my parents speaking in low tones just outside my door. “You better prepare yourselves…she may not make it through the night.” Add terror to terror, why don’t you?!?   Honestly, I don’t remember much after that. I know that I did wake up the next morning, and the next. It took weeks for me to recover. Then then next bout of pneumonia hit. Hello, hospital!   Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you             Through it all, through it all, it is well…             Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you             And it is well…with me.   Fast forward a couple of years. After six bouts of pneumonia, multiple cases of bronchitis, flu, and everything else under the sun, my doctors finally decided to test my immune system and find out why I couldn’t fight off infection.   I waited and waited for the results.   The verdict? CVID, Common Variable Immunodeficiency, a genetic disorder that means my body does not synthesize immunoproteins. In simple terms, no immune system.   As every wise patient does, I immediately began to scour the internet.   There are only about 6,000 CVID patients in the U.S. You know the ribbons that represent fighting for a cure? Mine is a purple zebra. PURPLE ZEBRA. Could we be more rare or have uglier tee-shirts?   Most CVID patients are diagnosed as kids; very few make it to adulthood if they aren’t. Apparently, I’m one of the fortunate.   CVID patients tend to die from one of three causes: respiratory infection, lymphoma, or leukemia. Life expectancy is significantly decreased. No one will say by how much. I actually think I’m ok with that. Maybe.   Thank God; there is a viable treatment called IGG. Basically, I spend eight hours every 3-4 weeks hooked up to an IV, receiving an immune system in a bottle. The side effects stink. Huge migraine. Inflamed joints. Nausea and vomiting. The list goes on.   I’ll be tethered to IGG for the rest of my life. At a cost of about $15,000 per treatment. Insurance companies hate me. But again, God has provided and I’ve cobbled together coverage over the years. Still, no subject throws me into a panic like health insurance.   As Brad would say, “Good Night, Nurse!” I think that’s Texan for “Good grief!” but with a lot more feeling.   Far be it from me to not believe And this mountain that’s in front of me   Have you ever been mad at God?   I remember comedian Mark Lowry asking that question during a concert. Mark said, “Well, if you’ve ever been mad at God, you might as well tell him. Because he already knows.”   Truer words. Truer words.   I was mad. REALLY mad. Mind you, I haven’t shared much of my background. I was shot in a drive-by shooting at school when I was 13. I watched my dad strap on bulletproof vests to preach on Sundays, because of threats against my family. I survived an incredibly abusive first marriage. The list goes on, but I think you get the idea.   So now we have it. I will most likely die early. And I will hurt every day until I do.   I wrestled with my anger for months. And I felt guilty about being angry. And that made me even more angry…   Until one day when I just gave up. I’d had enough.   So let go, my soul, and trust in Him, The waves and wind still know His name. Let go, my soul and trust in Him, The waves and wind still know His name.   I remember laying on the bed in the guest room at my parents’ house. Sometimes Mom practices on the piano downstairs, and it reminds me so much of being a little girl, laying on my belly under the piano while she taught lessons.   That day, she started to play, “It Is Well with My Soul,” a hymn I’ve always loved. Right then, plain as day, God spoke directly to my heart. I’ll never forget it.   He said, “Choose.”   “Choose?” I thought “What do you mean ‘Choose’? Choose not to be angry? Choose not to be scared about all this? Choose what?”   Mom sang, “Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, ‘It is well, it is well with my soul.”   “It’s your choice,” I heard Him again, deep in my spirit. “Will you choose to say ‘It is well?” Or will you choose to stay angry and become bitter? It’s your choice. But if you choose to trust Me, ALL WILL BE WELL.”   Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you             Through it all, through it all, it is well…             Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you             And it is well…with me.   In that moment, I made my choice.   No matter what comes, no matter how scary the future looks, no matter how much pain I’m in, no matter how many surgeries I undergo, no matter how many times they stick me with needles, no matter how badly the migraines hurt, no matter how often I have to fight to breathe…no matter what.   I choose to say, “It is well…with me.”   REMEMBER, GOD KNOWS THE PAIN OF SEEING HIS ONLY SON SUFFER. JESUS SUFFERED FOR YOU. AND GOD WEEPS WITH YOU.   Well, Julie, I hope that my thoughts have given you some insight on how to handle it well when our children are suffering. And I hope that our story will comfort other parents walking through this valley now.   Thank God that He’s on our side. He knows exactly how we feel. He’s been there.   Sincerely, Roger

Hi Roger, When was Jesus born? Thanks, “LAC” Dear “LAC”,   What an interesting question! It may or may not surprise you to know that there is much discussion—even argument—throughout Christendom as to the birthday of Jesus. One thing, however, is certain. Jesus was not born on December 25, 0 b.c/a.d. Frankly, no one can pinpoint the exact day or year of His birth—although many have tried. In fact, it seems that no one in the Christian faith even cared about His birthday until the third century a.d. People have been guessing ever since.   Some of the guesses are rather ludicrous. For example, one group of astrologers postulate that December 25 could not possibly be the correct date because Jesus would be a Capricorn and would have been more likely to be a philanthropist or run for public office than sacrificing His life on the cross! One prominent minister/astrologer, Rev. Don Jacobs, used a main frame computer to replicate the same celestial dynamics observed by the ancient Magi who were “center stage” in Matthew’s gospel, as well as possible astrological charts of Christ’s time to declare that Jesus was born on March 1, 7 BC, at 1:21 a.m. in Bethlehem.   The year of His birth is unknown but certainly fits within certain known parameters. The key verses are Luke 2:1-4 : “In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.   Jesus was born in 6 b.c. or after because of historical evidence purporting that Quirinius became governor of Syria in 6 b.c.. Jesus was born in 4 b.c. or earlier because Herod died in 4 b.c.. Also, a birth before 4 b.c. is reckoned because the Roman emperor Augustus who issued the decree died in 4 b.c. Jesus had to have been born before the tax degree was implemented.   Astrological evidence also helps pinpoint the year. This evidence relates to the “star” which appeared to the wise men from Babylon. Many have postulated a numerous guesses as to what the star was and especially how it moved to lead the Babylonian astrologers to the very house where Jesus was staying when He was about two years old. Jesus fled with his parents to Egypt just before King Herod invoked the command to kill all the baby boys two years or under. It is likely that the three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh financed the trip.   Of course the star could have easily have been a supernatural miracle from God. After all, the “star” moved and “remained” over the house until the wise men arrived. Another suggestions is the astronomical lining up in a line of the planets Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn as viewed from earth. Since a confluence like this occurs only once every 25,000 years, or so, this monumental astronomical event could easily have gotten the attention of Babylonian observers. The confluence occurred in 7 b.c. which corresponds closely with the above evidence.   Another suggestion regarding the star was stated by the Roman Historian, Josephus, who mentioned the eclipse which occurred in 4 b.c. which again is close to the above historical evidence.   Why was Jesus not born in 0 b.c/a.d? The answer is rather simple. In the 10 th century several European scholars decided it was time to draw up an accurate-historical time line which began at Jesus’ birth and continued into the present. The men miscounted by 4 to 7 years or so!   By the way, for the past millennium all reference to years before Christ were known as “B.C.” and stood for the words, “Before Christ”. The years after Christ’s birth were identified as “A.D.” which stands for “Anno Domini” which means “In The Year Of Our Lord.” In the past fifty years secular scholars have led the intellectual community to get Jesus out of the dating altogether. The term now used for the years before Christ is “b.c.e.” which means “Before Common Era.” The term now used for the years after Christ is “c.e.” which means “Common Era.” What a shame! By the way, I refuse to use the new Christless terms. They gall me.   Again, the Bible doesn’t explicitly identify a particular day as the birthday of our Lord. Nevertheless, many scholars have developed diverse opinions as to the likely birthday of Jesus. A careful analysis of the Bible clearly indicates that December 25 couldn’t be the date for Christ’s birth. Here are two primary reasons:   First, shepherds were in the fields watching their flocks at the time of Jesus’ birth ( Luke 2:7-8 ). Shepherds were not in the fields during December. Luke’s account (based on the dates of Mary’s pregnancy in relation to the birth of John the Baptist) suggests that Jesus may have been born in summer or early fall. Since the winter months are cold and rainy in Judea, it is very likely that the shepherds would not be out in the fields at night but sheltered somewhere from the elements. Second, no competent Roman administrator would require registration involving travel during the winter season because of the travel hardships involved.   Although it is difficult to determine the first time anyone celebrated December 25 as Christmas Day, historians say that it was sometime during the fourth century. The first recorded mention of December 25th is in the Calendar of Philocalus (AD 354), which declared Jesus’ birth to be Friday, December 25th, AD 1.   A close look at the pagan-Roman-religious holidays may give clues as to why December 25 became so popular. The date of December 25th was actually a vestige of the Roman holiday of Saturnalia, observed near the winter solstice, which celebrated the “birth of the sun.” Since December 21 is the shortest day of the year each day becomes increasingly longer after the winter solstice as Spring approaches. Many suggest that the early Roman Christians simply “Christianized” many of the Roman-pagan holidays which they themselves inherited from the earlier Babylonian priesthoods (read “wise men.”). In one sense, simply making these holidays Christian ones could be considered evangelistic wisdom because the gap from paganism to Christianity was shortened dramatically making conversion to following Christ easier.   Well, “LAC”, I hope my answer is satisfying. I was short on time this week and I chose your question to answer because I thought it needed only a quick paragraph or two. But, the more I thought about it, the more intriguing became “When was Jesus born?” Thanks so much!   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, What do we really know about angels, and how do they reveal themselves to us? How do angels appear to people in the Bible? Angels appeared to people in the Bible in three ways. First, some angels appeared to people in a recognizable form, even seeming to be human. For example, the angel that announced the virgin birth to Mary appeared in some kind of recognizable form ( Luke 1:26-38 ), as did the angel who appeared to the shepherds and the angelic multitude who praised God ( Luke 2:8-15 ). The angels who appeared to Abraham and Lot in  Genesis 18—19  were humans from the men’s standpoint. Second, other angels appeared to people in dreams. This was especially true surrounding the birth of Jesus. An angel appeared to Joseph, the man engaged or betrothed to Mary, in a dream to tell him to take Mary as his wife and that their son would be Jesus, the Messiah ( Matthew 1:20-21 ). An angel also appeared to Joseph in another dream to warn him to flee to Egypt with his family ( Matthew 2:13 ). Third, some angels appeared to people in visions. This was true of Ezekiel ( Ezekiel 1  and  10 ), as well as John’s vision in Revelation. These visions were distinct from dreams, as they took place when the individuals were awake. However, these visions were also different from appearances in which angels came to people in a recognizable way, or as humans, and could be seen by others.1   Most of us seem to know very little about the existence and ministry of Angels. We use them to decorate our Christmas trees, to wear as jewelry, to decorate our nurseries or carve into our tombstones. Children don cherub costumes for Christmas programs.   Angels have a lot to do, especially for those who have eyes to see. I believe that most of their work goes on behind the scenes where they are usually not noticed.   Let me give you a short Biblical primer on the nature and work of angels.   1. God Created The Angels Before He Created Anything Else In The Universe.   The angels watched God work and shouted for joy at the results of the creation ( Job 38:4-7 ).   2. All of the angels were created simultaneously.   They are unable to procreate. ( Matthew 22:28 ). The number of angels has always been constant.   3. The Number Of Angels Is Incomprehensible.   Revelation 5:11 records the number of Angels: “Ten thousand times ten thousand and thousands and thousands.”   4. Some Angels Rebelled Against God.    Lucifer, who was in charge of guarding the throne of God and with bringing God praise and worship, and who was apparently co-equal with the angel Michael, chose to rebel ( Isaiah 14 ).   A huge number of angels rebelled with him.  Fallen angels (demons) live in one of two places today:  (1) On earth, attacking and discouraging humans; and (2) In Tartarus, a prison cell in the lowest hell, waiting to be released during the Great Tribulation.   5. Angels Are Powerful.   Only one angel was needed to wipe out 185,000 Assyrians in a single night ( 2 Kings 19 ).   6. Angels were created to praise and worship God around His throne.   Revelation 5:11-12 :  “In a loud voice they sang, “Worthy is the Lamb, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!”   7. Angels are charged with the responsibility of guiding the affairs of nations.   We learn from Daniel 10 that angels are intricately involved in guiding our heads of state. Every nation also has a demon charged with the responsibility of bringing that nation to destruction (Ezekiel).   Daniel also revealed that every nation has a demonic spirit assigned to it to bring pain and destruction.   8. Angels Fight Satan And His Demons Until The Victory Is Won At The End Of Time.   Revelation 12:7-9 :  “And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. . . .”   9. Every church is assigned an angel to watch over it and to help protect it.   Revelation 1:20 : “The mystery of the seven stars . . . the seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven lampstands are the seven churches.”   10. Angels Will Separate The Wheat From The Weeds At The Final Judgment (The Saved From The Lost).   Matthew 13:38-42 : “The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the sons of the kingdom. The weeds are the sons of the evil one, and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.”   11. Angels Minister To Those Who Believe In Christ.   Jacob’s dream of a ladder, by which angels ascended and descended between heaven and earth, is a beautiful picture of their incessant activity for us ( Genesis 28:12 ).   12. Angels provide for physical needs of believers as in the case of Elijah under his juniper tree ( 1 Kings 19:5-7 ).   After a Wednesday night service several years ago, a lady told me of an angelic protection. Driving on a lonely desert road in her VW with her children the car’s engine caught fire. She stopped and tried to open the hood. She couldn’t; it was too hot. Suddenly, another car pulled up behind her. She thought that this was strange because she’d seen no other cars on the road. He pulled out this big pair of asbestos gloves, opened the hood and used a fire extinguisher to put out the blaze. She turned to thank the man and he was gone. Both he and the car had disappeared.   13. Angels Protect Believers From Danger   As In The Case Of Watching Over The Three Hebrews In The Furnace (Daniel Chapter 3), Or By Watching Over Daniel In The Lions’ Den (Daniel Chapter 6).   Once when Brianna, our oldest daughter, was just learning crawl, Julie heard me yell from the back bathroom. “Julie, come quickly!” At the same time I heard Julie call from the back bathroom, “Roger, come quickly.” We both ran quickly to discover Brianna about to tumble headlong onto the tile of our three-foot-deep sunken tub. We grabbed her just in time.  Julie said, “I’m sure glad you called me to get back here quickly.” “I didn’t call you,” I said. “You called me.” “I didn’t call you,” she said. We had an angelic visitation from Brie’s guardian angel!”   Experiences like these make Psalm 34:7 come alive: “The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear God and deliver them.”   14. Angels sometimes reveal the Lord’s plans, for example to Daniel ( Daniel 9:21-23 ), to Cornelius ( Acts 10:3-6 ), or to Mary at the birth of Jesus ( Luke 2 ).   15. Angels Minister To Us At Our Time Of Death.   Luke 17:22 : “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.”   A cold chill runs up many of our backs to think that sometime in the future, and perhaps in the very near future for some of us, the Death Angel will be dispatched from Heaven to Earth.   If we are Christians, we need not be afraid of the Death Angel.  They may be our rod and staff which brings us through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.   D.L. Moody, a Billy Graham type evangelist from a previous generation, saw angels on his death bed: “Earth recedes, Heaven opens before me… this is no dream, it is beautiful… angels, usher me into the presence of God. God’s allowing me to see beyond the veil that separated this life from the next. I see the faces of loved ones long lost.”   Dying patients today are given so many drugs that we don’t seem to hear many stories like these anymore. But to those who face death in Christ, it is a glorious experience. It’s a guaranteed angelic escorted journey into the presence of God.   16. Not All Angels Are Good.   Galatians 1:8-11 : “But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned. …I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.”   This reminds me of the story of the Angel Maroni giving to Joseph Smith the golden plates upon which Mormonism stands.  I have no doubt that an angel appeared to Smith.  However, the angel was not from God. How do you know? The Angel was preaching another gospel than the gospel of Jesus Christ which Paul was preaching l!   17. Have You Ever Wondered About Guardian Angels?   Matthew 18:10 : “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”   I pray often for my guarding angel. I pray for him/her (it?) to be “strong” on my behalf in the spiritual battles that I fight. When I am praying for someone about to undergo surgery, I never fail to pray for their guardian angel, assigned to them at birth, to help guide the hand of the surgeon for a successful surgery. I want him/her (it?)and me to be good friends. I am looking forward to seeing him/her(it?) in heaven.   I hope that this short primer on angelology is helpful to you on understanding the work and ministry of angels.   Sincerely, Roger 1  Gotquestions.org .

Dear Roger,   My six year old son, William, had a question tonight to ask you: “If you have Jesus in your heart can you still get on Santa’s Naughty List?” His mind was really working on this after watching Santa Clause movies. Sincerely, Britney, Dear Britney, You have a great opportunity to teach about grace and the God-given conscience and how it comes into play in our every day living.   I grew up with Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Halloween. I loved them all. So many wonderful experiences and memories! Mike Everett, an older friend in the neighborhood, was the one who told me that there was no Santa Clause. I was heartbroken. My mom was mad at Mike for the rest of the year. It took me about two hours to get over it. After all, the toys, chocolate bunnies, quarters electric trains and candy trump Santa every time. The childhood years are the Golden Years. They are times of dreaming, learning, character building, fantasy and storytelling. For my brother Ronnie and me Santa added a little more spice to our lives. We are all the better for it.   Of course, not all Christians agree with me. Here is a sampling of some of the criticism I’ve received for allowing Casas to celebrate Christmas in the traditional way with our children.   *Umm, isn’t it kind of… sinning to tell children that there is a Santa watching them 24/7 who will come down there chimney using MAGIC and leave them gifts?   *I don’t mean to start an argument here, but “Santa” IS a lie. A “white lie” but a lie. The Bible clearly states that lying is a sin, and that there is a special place in hell for liars. The Bible also tells us to stay away from witchcraft, like the kind it would take to make reindeer fly…   *I’m only 17 so this is just a stupid opinion here. But why lie on the day we celebrate Christ’s BIRTH? I personally would not to that. Too afraid of lightning.   I am not criticizing the above comments. They are valid as far as they go and any parent can decide not to emphasize Santa and the Easter bunny and still raise fine children. Most of us know that Christmas and the Easter eggs and bunny were both adopted to be celebrated from ancient Roman holidays. They were “Christianized”. On the other hand, most Christians are surprised to discover that the church invented Halloween.   One person shared with me how she handled the “Santa” issue. I thought that this was really good.   *Why not tell your children about the three wise men who brought gifts to Jesus, and about how the REAL St. Nick brought gifts to boys and girls, who is probably (I’m not God, I don’t know) in heaven with Angels right now? And that in the spirit of CHRISTmas we give each other gifts?   Britney, use Matthew’s question as an opportunity to teach good Christian lifestyle truths.  Can a Christian be on Santa’s naughty list? Certainly! When we become Christians all of our sins are forgiven—but this does not mean that we stop sinning. We will interpret “Santa’s good list” to mean that our fellowship with God is pure and unimpaired. Unfortunately, when we sin we hurt our fellowship with God. This is the “naughty list”.   Notice that our fellowship with God is impaired by our sin but our relationship with Him can never be lost. My daddy is always my daddy. I may hurt his feelings (impair fellowship) but nothing can ever break the bond between us (relationship). I’m forever related to him as father to son. Our relationship with God may suffer at times because of our sin; but nothing can ever change or alter our relationship to God as Father and son ( Romans 8 ).   Use the idea of good list and naughty list to talk about sin and marring out fellowship but never our relationship. Some Christians do very naughty things and belong on His naughty list. Their sins are still forgiven and by God’s grace they will go to Heaven. The best way to stay on “Santa’s good list” is to follow and obey the voice of Jesus. In Ephesians 5:18 Paul told us to be “filled with the Holy Spirit.” This means that we listen carefully when God tells us what is right or wrong. It also means that we ask God to show us what to do. It also means that we think of what Jesus would do and do that.   Britney, this is a great time to teach William about our conscience. Since he asked about it, it is safe to assume that his conscience is reminding him of some behaviors that could put him on the naughty list.   In the Disney classic, “Pinocchio,” Jiminy Cricket advises us to “follow our noses” to know what is right and wrong. I was five-years old and riding my bike when I followed my nose right into an arborvitae bush.  “Give a little whistle, and always let your conscience be your guide,” Jiminy sings.  Romans One teaches that God has placed within each of us an understanding that He exists, but this is not our conscience.  Britney, remember this, the conscience does not tell us what is right and wrong. The conscience tell us what we’ve been trained is right or wrong. This is why Christian parenting is so crucial. Paul tells us that a good conscience must be carefully cultivated according to the principles of the Bible. Without a trained conscience, we are literally on our own.  Be certain that you are teaching William Biblical truth instead of teaching personal convictions as if they were Biblical truth. My growing up pastor taught us that dancing, consuming alcohol in moderation, riding motorcycles, women wearing pants, and not attending church were sins according to the Bible. These were not sins. They were his personal convictions which he taught as Biblical truth.  Let William think Santa will be coming down the chimney. Have fun with Christmas. Make great family memories. When he is old enough he will handle well the idea of Santa as a lot of fun. The real issue for Christian parents is not whether believing in Santa will mislead their children later on. The issue it how well they’ve trained their conscience to line up with Biblical truth.   Have a Merry Christmas. Tell Santa not to eat all the cookies. Save me a couple of chocolate macadamia nut; they are my favorite.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I’d like to understand more about the … Christmas Star. Sincerely, G Dear G, Let’s talk about the Star itself and what it might be. Then, let me gather some light of application from the Star.   The Star Passage:   “After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem 2 and asked, ‘Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.’ … 9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed” ( Matthew 2:1-2 ; 9-10).   Much speculation surrounds the nature of this star.   Some suggest Halley’s Comet that passed overhead in 11 B.C. Most peg Jesus’ birth around 4 B.C based on the fact that Augustus Caesar died in 4 B.C. and he was alive when Jesus was born. In the Middle Ages a monk (I forgot his name) set out to draw a time from his day back to the birth of Christ. Scholars later checked his research to discover that he missed the actual date by about four years!   Others suggest a meteor or a shooting star. However, the Christmas Star hung around for quite some time. Meteors and shooting stars last only moments in the atmosphere. These two are too just too brief to be the Star.   Others suggest a supernova in which a dying star implodes in upon itself. Supernovae are extremely luminous and cause a burst of radiation that often briefly outshines an entire galaxy before fading from view over several weeks or months. The appearance of a supernova would easily be interpreted by the Wise Men as the birth of a great king according to their Babylonian religious beliefs. However, supernovas are stationary in their place in the sky. They don’t move around like the Christmas Star.   Still others conjecture that the star was a confluence of Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars in which all three are lined up visually from earth. A confluence of these three planets occurs every 800 years. This phenomenon would also be interpreted by the Wise Men as protending the birth of a great king. However, the 67 B.C. confluence was certainly too early to signal the birth of Jesus.   I find it difficult to believe that this was an actual star at all. It moved before the wise men appearing disappearing as it led them to Jesus.   I’m inclined to believe that the “Christmas star” was some sort of miraculous-luminous appearance in mid-air–something akin to the pillar of fire that led Israel in the wilderness!   Do you ever wonder what happened to the star? Tradition says that when the star’s work was finished, it fell into a well in Bethlehem where it can still be seen at certain times by those whose hearts are pure.   Once, when I was in Bethlehem, I looked down the well and saw the star. Just kidding!!   Now, let me move on to several applications. What light can we gather from the star?   This Star’s Ministry Was All About Jesus.   The wise men said, “We have seen His star.” The star belonged to Jesus. The faithful Christian, like the star, belongs to Jesus. Every beam in that star shown forth for Jesus. It was His star.   It is well for us to forget ourselves in the person of Christ so that our every movement, our every action, shines forth Christ.   You may be a very little star, twinkling for Jesus. However feeble your light may be, let it be plain that you are His star. So that even if people may wonder what you are they may never wonder whose you are.   This Star Led People To Jesus.   The star that leads people to Jesus must always be going toward Christ. Souls are much better led to Christ by example than driven by exhortation.   It is a small thing to shine for Jesus. But it is a great thing to lead people to Jesus. Our mission is not complete until we bring them face to face with the living Christ.   The Star Which God Used Stopped At Jesus.   The Christmas Star brought them to Jesus. Then, it stood still where Jesus was.   There are some remarkable stars in the theological skies these days. They claim to lead people to Christ; however, they then keep on going to add more to the Bible and/or the Gospel. Others claim to lead to Christ and stop before they get all the way to Him.   When the star came to where Jesus was, it stood still and so should our minds become settled and fixed and focused in upon Jesus. Never indulge for a single moment the notion that you need a broader philosophy or a deeper spirituality than is to be found in Christ.   We will do well to live Christ-like lives so that when we ultimately die people will find us still shining for Jesus and pointing to the place where the Savior may be found.   Well, G, I hope you understand a little bit more about the star and especially about some of the lessons we can learn from the Christmas Star.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, How could Herod miss Christmas? How could he hear the Wise Men coming so far to find this baby, and not recognize the signs? I don’t want to be like him. How can I honor Jesus this Christmas? Love, Stephanie Dear Stephanie, Good question! So many of us miss the true meaning of Christmas. In Orange City, Fla. — A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on iPads trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious as they scrambled for the shelves at a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Patricia VanLester had her eye on a $50 iPad, but when the siren blared at 6 a.m. Friday announcing the start to the post-Thanksgiving sale, the 41-year-old was knocked to the ground by the frenzy of shoppers behind her. “She got pushed down, and they walked over her like a herd of elephants,” said VanLester’s sister, Linda Ellzey. “I told them, `Stop stepping on my sister! She’s on the ground!'” Ellzey said some shoppers tried to help VanLester, and one employee helped Ellzey reach her sister, but most people just continued their rush for deals. “All they cared about was a stupid iPad,” she said Saturday. Paramedics called to the store found VanLester unconscious on top of an iPad, surrounded by shoppers seemingly oblivious to her, said Mark O’Keefe, a spokesman for EVAC Ambulance. She was flown to Halifax Medical Center in Daytona Beach, where doctors told the family VanLester had a seizure after she was knocked down and would likely remain hospitalized through the weekend, Ellzey said. Hospital officials said Saturday they did not have any information on her condition. “She’s all black and blue,” Ellzey said. “Patty doesn’t remember anything. She still can’t believe it all happened.” Ellzey said Wal-Mart officials called later Friday to ask about her sister, and the store apologized and offered to put an iPad on hold for her. Wal-Mart Stores spokeswoman Karen Burk said she had never heard of a such a melee during a sale. “We are very disappointed this happened,” Burk said. “We want her to come back as a shopper.”  Somebody missed the meaning of Christmas.  If there had been a baby there they would have killed it.  Many court rulings outlaw religious songs, at Holiday concerts. They killed the Baby.   If we are not careful, we can go through the entire Christmas season and miss Christmas. It happens to people all the time—we might as well kill the Baby. I want us to get Christmas right as we go through the holiday season.   We are not the first to kill the baby.   King Herod began the tradition. In fact, he took it literally. He killed about 200 of them at the first Christmas time.   Matthew 2:1-3 : After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.” When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him.   Zoroastrians were the King Makers of the ancient world. This is a big deal—especially to Herod who is the King of the Jews. Herod was not really a Jew. Dad, not mom was a Jew. He was an army general who made friends in Rome. He rose to power as a tetrarch, a petty king because of delivering land and taxes to Rome. Herod hobnobbed with the rich and famous. In a civil war between Caesar and Pompey, he choose the right side.  The right side was with Mark Anthony against Brutus and Cassius—Fortress of Antonio ruins—where Pilate interviewed Jesus. The wrong side with Mark Anthony and Cleopatra versus Octavian—Caesar Augustus. Herod killed his own sons in plot to give power to Augustus: “I would rather be Herod’s hus (pig) than his huis (son).”   There is no doubt what he intends to do with a rival.   Matthew 2:4-6 : When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written: “‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'”   Matthew 2:7-9 : Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.” After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.   This was a rather unusual star. It was a confluence of Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and Venus in 7 B.C. Jesus was born 7 years before Christ. The calendar was messed up. King Herod died in 4 B.C., so Jesus had to be born before that.  The Scripture says that the Star moved—perhaps it was a specially designed light just for the occasion.  Matthew 2:10-12 : When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.   Matthew 2:16 : When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.   Jesus, at this time, was not in the manger—note the previous verse, now living in a house . Perhaps a year or two after the birth—that is why Herod said to kill all babies 2 years or younger. It is time to be celebrating the Baby—and Herod is killing babies.  King Herod missed the peace, love and joy of Christmas.  He was known as Herod the Great. He built monumental building projects to make people love him: Herod’s Temple in Jesus’ time was glorious. But he lived a terrified man.   Herod was instructed and told about Messiah—but he missed it all. He was afraid of the Savior—he had no idea what it was all about.  Herod died a miserable man with a miserable death—His symptoms recorded for posterity. Venereal disease when accompanied by deterioration of the heart and kidneys, would result in the symptoms described. Bodily poisons would not be excreted properly and would accumulate in the blood, causing general itching, sharp, constant abdominal pain, diarrhea, and possible ulceration of the bowels. In extreme cases, which is plainly what we’re dealing with here, the scrotum could become distended and gangrenous, at which point a lesion might well become infested with maggots, personal hygiene not being a priority back then. Now that’s a disgusting, horrific death.   Herod had misplaced hope: politics, materialism, sensual things, building projects—all hopeless endeavors.  We put our hope in cars, savings accounts, houses, presents, jobs. This is a recipe for hopelessness.  That is how we miss Christmas.  Don’t place your hope for a successful Christmas with money and presents. How quickly the toys grow old! You want something that will last.  All of this reminds me of Brad Pitt. In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Brad Pitt reflected on what it means to have the American dream and yet remain unsatisfied: Pitt: “Man, I know all these things are supposed to seem important to us—the car, the condo, our version of success—but if that’s the case, why is the general feeling out there reflecting more impotence and isolation and desperation and loneliness? If you ask me, I say toss all this—we have got to find something else. Because all I know is that at this point in time, we are heading for a dead end, a numbing of the soul, a complete atrophy of the spiritual being. And I don’t want that.” Rolling Stone: So if we’re heading toward this kind of existential dead end in society, what do you think should happen? Pitt: “Hey, man, I don’t have those answers yet. The emphasis now is on success and personal gain. I’m sitting in it, and I’m telling you, that’s not it. I’m the guy who’s got everything. I know. But I’m telling you, once you’ve got everything, then you’re just left with yourself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it doesn’t help you sleep any better, and you don’t wake up any better because of it.”   By the way, Brad Pitt grew up “…Brad himself was brought up in a typical Mid-Western town, Springfield, Missouri, the oldest son of devout Baptist parents.”   What did he miss?  LUKE 2:8-12 .  Luke 2:13-14 : Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good-will toward men.”   Ah, that’s what Christmas is all about.  Why is Christmas so important? Because the world did not become a place of peace, love, and joy at His first coming.  The four candles of Advent represent: 1. Hope2. Peace3. Joy4. Love  We live too much in a world of war—not peace;  I recently reread “ All Quiet on The Western Front (WWI); Hiroshima (WWII); We Were Soldiers Once and Young (VietNam).   We live too much in a world of misery—not joy;  We see devastation, mass murders and starvation.  We live too much in a world of hatred—not love.  However in the heart of all men and women is something better. We long for a better world. While the promises of the First Coming will be fulfilled at the Second Coming, deep down inside we long for our world to be a better one right now.   This is the meaning of Christmas. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough times for me. I really don’t want to spend any time with my family. It’s like when we get together the pain and hurts all come back. I can bury the pain and rejection for most of the year but family get togethers brings it all back. I guess that the hardest part is that I get more hurt every time we get together. Mom yells; dad says for the hundredth time how I’ll never amount to anything, and my brother and sister still gang up on me and criticize me and make fun of me. My husband asked me when was the last time that I left my family and felt better than when I came. I can’t remember one time. I always leave with more hurt than when I came.   The truth is that I have “amounted” to something. I have a great job and a wonderful husband. I love his in-laws and they love and support me. When it is time to leave I always feel better than when I came.   I am looking for suggestions. I am tired of being “beat up” every time we get together with my family.   Sincerely, Pamela   Dear Pamela,   I see three options. First, think of some positive ways to make it better. Second, don’t go; and third, “grin and bear it.”   David Ferguson of Intimate Life Ministries tells of an experience he had that you might find encouraging.   A pastor and his wife were having marriage difficulties. The church was fine, family OK, but their relationship was struggling. David had them fill out a questionnaire before the sessions began. One of the questions was, “How did your father praise you?” The wife left it blank. Dave reflected: “It looks like you may have missed praise and appreciation from dad. Is that right?” She said, “Yeah, that’s right, and it hurts a lot-because he’s the most important man in my life.”   At that point, how do you think the husband was feeling? They’d been married 20 years! We are talking hurt, pain, and rejection here!   Note the dysfunctions playing out in this family. My experience is that if your family was and/or is painful and hurtful that you certainly won’t want to spend the holidays with them.   David continues story.   Christmas time was near and the pastor and his wife were about to make a trip from Texas to Michigan to be with her mom and dad for the holidays. At the conclusion of the session Dave asked the husband to stay behind for a moment and after his wife left. Dave gave that husband a homework assignment.   They spent three or four days with her mother and father. Dad was no more affirming, affectionate, or approving than he ever had been. He was distant, withdrawn, critical and negative.   The pastor and his wife were about to get in the car and head home. They were standing in the kitchen, husband, wife, and her mother and father. It was time for this husband to do his homework. He looked at his mother and father-in-law and said, “I don’t know if I ever told you this or not, but you have a very special daughter. I am proud that she is my wife. She is great with the children, loves and prays for the church family, and supports me in everything that I do.” As soon as they got in the car his wife scooted over next to him and burst into tears of joy. All of the affirmation, praise, and appreciation that she’d longed for decades for her dad to express were being ministered deeply to her by her husband.   A powerful healing took place. She left her family feeling better that day than when she first came.   This story illustrates a creative way to protect you from your hurting family. Your husband contradicts every criticism with a positive expression of your personality and character.   This is what the Bible calls, “pouring hot coals on your enemy.” This is like doing good things for someone while you are really “thumbing your nose at them” as we might very loosely translate that term in today’s vernacular (Proverb 25:22; Romans 12:20 ).   I am not sure that intentionally heaping coals is a nice thing to do; but, it sure can make you feel better.   For those not married, perhaps you can partner with one of your siblings to finally stand up to your antagonizing family. Enough is enough. Spend time with the most functional ones in your family and try to build each other up so that you feel better when you leave than when you came.   Another option is to “grin and bear it.”   This option is one you must prepare for. Get your expectations in line with reality. Accept the fact that you will get hurt and rejected again. You will be in a hostile environment. Before going, consciously build a hedge of protection around yourself ( Job 1:10 ) so that their harsh words and evil criticisms cannot penetrate your feelings and emotions and leave you rung out, devastated, and fallen on the floor.   Plan to arrive late and leave early. Expose yourself to the poisonous venom as little as possible.   Another option is simply don’t go. Again, it was holiday time. I was advising a husband and wife soon to depart Tucson for Christmas on the East Coast with her family. Several years ago she and her husband made a conscious choice to move 2,000 miles away just to get away from her painful, dysfunctional family. She related the pain she still experienced when even when her family members continued to chide her for deserting the family by moving away.   She didn’t want to relive again all the reasons she chose to get away from them in the first place. “Then, why go,” I asked her. “Because I would feel guilty for not going.”   After chatting for over an hour it became obvious to her that nothing good could come from her going—and it was not her fault. One visit was not going to fix anything and all she would do was expose herself to more mental and emotional anguish. She made up her mind not to go before I had the opportunity to advise her likewise.   There are some families you just don’t want to grow up in, or be in.   I told her that she reminded me of Joseph. He grew up in a family filled with murder, rape, rejection, favorites and pain. His brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt when he was a teenager. Yet, he was the only one in the family who turned out all right. “You’ve made the steps to come out all right,” I said. “Maybe someday you can reconcile with your family—like Joseph did with his brothers—maybe not, but at least now is not the time.”   I hope that you can have a positive and joyful holiday experience. I hope that you have a great family and are looking forward to a great holiday season with them. I’m sorry if you family is so hurtful that you really hate to be anywhere near them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. May God give you grace and perhaps some delightful surprises with your family this holiday season.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I think that if I understand how to really praise God, I will deepen my walk with Him and live a more positive, victorious life. The professor in my college Bible class made the comment that not all the words for “praise” in the Bible really mean “praise”. She mentioned that there were several different Hebrew words which are often translated as “praise” but in fact have deeper and multiple meanings. Could you please elaborate? Thank you, Jennifer   Dear Jennifer,   Your professor’s right. Not all the words translated as “praise” are equal. Some words translated as “praise” mean “to throw up the hands”. Others describe loud shouting. Some refer to playing the guitar. Others describe hope in the midst of hopelessness, anticipating God’s while we are still in our troubles. Let me share with you some of the most often used words for praise in the Bible   1. “HALLAL” IS THE MOST COMMON WORD FOR PRAISE.   ( Joel 2:26 ; Psalm: 63:11; 150:1-6; Ezra 3:10-13 )   This word simply means to boast, brag, or rave about God even to the point of appearing foolish. People who attend football games often shout and scream and holler for their favorite team. They are called fans. Unfortunately, for most of us, if we shout and scream and brag on God we may be labeled as fanatics-as if something is wrong with us.   “ Because your love is better than life,my lips will glorify you.I will praise you as long as I live . . . ” ( Psalm 63:3-4 ).   2. “YADAH” MEANS TO WORSHIP WITH EXTENDED HANDS.   “Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord” ( Psalm 134:2 ).   ( Psalm 43:1-5 ; 134:2 ; 2 Chronicles 20: 1- 21 ; Nehemiah 8:6 ; 1 Timothy 2:8 )   Yadah pictures a three-year-old child, hands raised, running towards daddy, crying, “Hold me, daddy, hold me!” Yadah is often translated as, “giving thanks.” Yadah is often a cry for help. Yadah praise is used when we are in desperate straits and need a victory from the Lord.   Raising the hands is one of the most explosive and meaningful expressions of praise. Raising the hands is an international sign of surrender. A worshiping person raises hands in adoration and surrender to God.   3. “BARAK” is used to denote blessing.   “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,and naked I will depart.The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;may the name of the Lord be praised” ( Job 1:21 ). ( Judges 5:1-2 ; Psalm 72:15 )   Barack suggests the transcendent privilege of blessing the Lord.   4. “TEHILLAH” means to sing or to laud.   “Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;    you are the one Israel praises” ( Psalm 22:3 ). ( Exodus 15:2 ; Isaiah 61:3 ; Deuteronomy 10:21 )   Tehillah involves music and singing-especially singing. Singing is vital to the worship of God. There are over 300 Bible mandates to sing. This word suggests that God himself is a song of praise. We might say it like this, “God is our song.”   5. “ZAMAR” means to pluck the strings of an instrument. “For the director of music. Of David the servant of the Lord. He sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul.” “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,. . . I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,and I have been saved from my enemies” ( Psalm 18:1-3 ). ( Nehemiah 8:10 ; Psalm 18:1-4 , 46-50 ; 68:1-4 ; Ephesians 5:19 )   Zamar speaks of rejoicing. It is involved with the joyful expression of music.   Zamar means to sing praises or to touch the strings. It speaks of involving every available instrument to make music and harmony before the Lord. It is God’s will that we be joyful.   Use Zamar when you are rejoicing after God has done something great for you.   Zamar is translated into the New Testament has “Psallo”. “Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord” ( Ephesians 5:19 ). Psalms = Psalms Hymns = Songs Based On Scripture Spiritual Songs = Songs Based On Personal Testimony Or Songs From The Spirit.   6. “TODAH” means to shout or to address with a loud voice.   But Todah goes even further. It includes an attitude of gratitude for God’s promised deliverance even while we are still in need. This type of praise also refers to lifting of the hands in inviting God’s help. Todah praise is having faith and assurance that is well even before the victory actually comes.   For example, David is trapped by the Philistines in Gath. He gives thanks and offers Todah praise even before God delivers him. “Be merciful to me, my God,for my enemies are in hot pursuit; . . .   When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.       In God, whose word I praise— . . .All day long they twist my words;They conspire, they lurk,they watch my steps, hoping to take my life.Record my misery; . . .   Then my enemies will turn backwhen I call for help.By this I will know that God is for me” ( Psalm 56:1-12 ).   Offer Todah praise and trust that God will deliver.   7. “SHABACH” also means to shout or to address in a loud tone.   For example, the pagan king of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, was struck insane by God because of his pride. When God restored his sanity seven years later Nebuchadnezzar shouted words of Shabbat praise:   “Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble” ( Daniel 4:37 ).   “HALLELUJAH” is the premier word for praise in the Bible. Hallelujah transcends the languages of the world. It is not translated; it is transliterated. “Hallel” means to boast or to brag on, to make a show, even to the point of looking ridiculous. “Jah” is the short form of the name for God.   Hallelujah is the spontaneous outcry of one who is excited about God. It is used only 24 times in the Old Testament all between Psalm 104 and 150 . It is reserved for times of extreme exultation. “1  Praise the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary;praise him in his mighty heavens. 2  Praise him for his acts of power;praise him for his surpassing greatness. 3  Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,praise him with the harp and lyre, 4  praise him with timbrel and dancing,praise him with the strings and pipe, 5  praise him with the clash of cymbals,praise him with resounding cymbals. 6  Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord” ( Psalm 150 ).   The word hallelujah is used only four times in the New Testament, all of them  in Revelation 19:1-7 . Hallelujah!  Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, Hallelujah! Revenge on the Harlot: God is just after all. Hallelujah! God is still on his throne even though the world is destroyed. “Hallelujah!     For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be gladand give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come,and his bride has made herself ready.   HOW DO I FIND WHICH WORD FOR PRAISE IS BEING USED IN THE PASSAGE THAT I AM READING?   If you can find a discounted copy Strong’s Exhaustive Bible Concordance” then you have found a real treat. But even better, the following three sites and others like them will prove most helpful in identifying which Hebrew word for praise is used in various passages.   Worship Basic 101 Biblehub.com Gatewaychurch.org   I hope that you’ll find my answer helpful. Let me know how things are coming along.   Sincerely, Roger

Dear Roger, I’d love to understand more about the Magi and the star – what made them think this star would lead them to a king? Is there anything in the Old Testament that forbids or warns against using the stars to search for guidance? There are many traditions related to the Magi–what is in the scriptures? Gayla Dear Gayla,   The reason that the wise men thought that the star would lead them to a king is because of the ancient belief that signs in the heavens portended great–or terrible–things to come–depending on who is interpreting the sign. Some unusual movement or stellar event of great magnitude was often thought to herald the birth of a King or someone of great personage. An event occurred in the sky and they went looking. The fact that the star appeared and moved indicates more of a miraculous appearance than a natural one.   Deuteronomy 18:9-13 forbids activities like using the stars for guidance.   Many traditions surround the wise men. Legend makes them all kings; but, this is not true. They were wise men. They were most likely the King’s personal advisors whose responsibilities included reading the stars among other things.   They were from “the east” which most probably meant Persia or Babylon.   Early church traditions put their number at twelve. Today, we imagine there were three (probably because there were three different types of gifts).   Church traditions have assigned them names and personalities. Melchior, old, grey-headed, with a long beard brought the gold. Caspar, young, beardless, with a ruddy complexion brought frankincense. Balthasar, swarthy with new beard brought myrrh.   The wise men were not at the manger on Christmas night. When they arrived in Bethlehem several months to two years later, Joseph, Mary and Jesus were living in a house.   The three gifts they brought to Jesus were most likely used by Joseph to finance their “flight to Egypt” to escape Herod’s order to kill all the boy babies under the age of two.   Let me gather two lessons from the wise men and then share with you the traditional story about Artaban, the fourth wise man. I think you will enjoy it.   These Men Were Wise Because They Were Seeking After Christ.   What could we better do in this world than to seek after Christ? The wise men thought all other pursuits of small account compared with this.   The search to worship Jesus Christ is all out of proportion to anything else we may do in life.   These Men Were Wise Men Because They Refused To Worship Empty Handed.   Everyone knows that gifts have something to do with Christmas; but, after that, there is mass confusion. If we read the Christmas story carefully, we find that the wise men did not exchange gifts with one another. They gave gifts to Christ.   The lesson here is that true recognition of Jesus Christ will ever be attended by the spontaneous surrender of our best to Him.   Now Let Me Share With You The Traditional Story Of Artaban–The Fourth Wise Man. Artaban set out to follow the star and took a sapphire, a ruby, and a pearl beyond price as gifts for the king. He was riding hard to meet his three friends – Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar at the agreed-upon meeting place. Time was short. He knew they’d leave if he were late. Suddenly, he saw the dim figure of a traveler in the road ahead. He was sick–his body racked with fever. Artaban knew that if he stopped to help he would miss his friends. But, what else could he do? When he arrived at the agreed upon meeting place his friends were gone. He now needed camels and bearers to cross the desert. He had to sell his sapphire to get them. He was sad because the new king would never get his gem.   He was late to Bethlehem. Mary and Joseph were gone. He took lodging in a little house where there was a small child that he had come to love. Herod gave the order for all male children to be slain. Soldiers came to carry out the order. The weeping of stricken mothers could be heard throughout the city. Artaban stood in the doorway. When the soldiers came Artaban bribed them with his ruby not to enter. The child was safe; the mother overjoyed; but the ruby was gone. Artaban was sad because the new king would never have his ruby. After over thirty years of searching for the king he came to Jerusalem. A crucifixion was scheduled for that day. Artaban had heard of this Jesus who was to be crucified, and thought that he sounded much like the King for whom he was searching. So, Artaban headed for Calvary. Maybe his pearl could buy the life of his King.   Suddenly a girl came sprinting down the street, crying out: “Save me! My father’s in debt! He’s going to sell me as a slave to pay his creditors. Somebody help me!”   Artaban hesitated. Then, sadly, he brought out his pearl and gave it to the creditors to settle the debt.   Then, all of a sudden the skies grew dark and an earthquake ensued. Flying tile hit Artaban on the head and knocked him half-conscious to the ground. The girl he’d just ransomed pillowed his head.   Suddenly Artaban’s lips began to move. “Not so, Lord. For when did I see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you a drink? When did I see you a stranger and took you in, or naked and clothed you? Thirty-three years I’ve looked for you; but, I’ve never seen your face, nor have I ministered to you, my King.”   Then, like a whisper from far away came a sweet low voice. “Truly, I say unto you, Artaban, inasmuch as you’ve done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me. Enter into the joy of the Master’s Kingdom.”   Then, mortally wounded, Artaban smiled. He knew that the King had received his gifts after all.   Well, Gayla, I hope that I’ve answered some of your questions and that you enjoyed the story.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I’ve celebrated Christmas more than 70 times in my lifetime. Tell me something I probably haven’t heard about the Christmas story, something I can apply to my life.  Sincerely, Randy   Dear Randy,   One of the challenges facing pastors is how to be creative and do something special every year when Christmas rolls around. This problem reminds me of Solomon’s statement in Ecclesiastes: “There is nothing new under the sun. It has all happened before.”   One of my favorite Christmas lessons that you may not have heard is what I call the, “Bethlehem Principle.” I recently preached on the “Bethlehem Principle.” for the first time in my life. Maybe this will be something new for you.   According to the “Bethlehem Principle”, God can use the weakest things in our lives to be actually the strongest.   The “Bethlehem Principle” is my high school mentor whose ravaging brain cancer gave him just three months to live motioning me to draw near to his hospital bed and lean down close to his lips. “Roger,” he said, “ watch me, I want you to see how a Christian dies.” By God’s grace, he was manifesting strength during weakness and glory for God.”   The “Bethlehem Principle.” applies in two ways.   First, God gives me grace to handle any weakness. Second, God gets glory when I handle my weaknesses in a positive way.   The “Bethlehem Principle.” is found in Micah chapter five and Matthew chapter two.   It’s 600 BC and the Babylonians are decimating the southern provinces of Israel. Micah, a Minor Profit describes the scene in Micah 5:1 : “Marshall your troops for a siege is laid against us. They will strike Israel’s ruler on the cheek with a rod.”   Israel was weak and defenseless. No hope. All was lost. King Jehoikim lost his head. Unless God sent a Savior, the Babylonians would kill, murder, steal, burn, kill babies, rape women, knock down the temple and enslave those who were still alive.   In the midst of this horror, Micah makes a startling, almost incomprehensible, promise. He declared that a Savior was coming out of one of the smallest cities in Israel: Bethlehem. But of course, no Savior arrived to defeat the Babylonians.   Micah 5:2 : “But you, Bethlehem, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from old, from ancient times.”   Israel was destroyed because no Messiah arrived. However, like many Old Testament prophecies, Micah’s promise of the coming Messiah was an overarching prophecy spanning 600 BC to the birth of Christ.   Matthew picked up on the “Bethlehem Principle.”   Matthew 2:1-6 : “When Herod heard about the newly born baby King, he was disturbed. He asked the Temple priests where the Messiah was to be born.” They replied, “In Bethlehem, just like Micah said.”     FIRST, THE “BETHLEHEM PRINCIPLE” PROVIDES STRENGTH TO POWER US THROUGH THE WEAKEST OF OUR WEAKNESSES.   Of all the places for the Savior to come from, why in the world would God pick Jerusalem? Nobody who is anybody came from Bethlehem.   If Jesus were to come to Texas he would not come to Dallas. Dallas looks down on Fort Worth. Fort Worth looks down on Arlington. Arlington looks down on Waxahachie. Waxahachie looks down on Ennis. Ennis looks down on Gun Barrel City.   If Jesus were to come to Texas, he’d likely be born in Gun Barrel City.   The “Bethlehem Principle.” is the hope of Christmas. If the Messiah can come as a little baby from one of the weakest villages on earth, then he certainly can be down on my level to care for me.   The contemporary relevance for this aspect of the “Bethlehem Principle” for the Christmas season is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:    “But God said to me, ‘my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ power can rest on me. That is why for Christ sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak then I am strong.”   In 2 Corinthians chapters 11-12, Paul details his sufferings for Jesus: imprisonments, beatings, near-by stoning, whippings by the Jews, beatings with metal rods by the Romans, shipwrecks, danger during frequent journeys, many sleepless nights, hunger and thirst, often without food, cold, malaria, epilepsy, and to top it all off, God gave him a tormenting thorn from Satan to keep him humble.   To one degree or another, we are all like Paul in our weaknesses.   How many of us have stepped on the gas but we have to admit that the power just isn’t in us. God didn’t equip us with eight cylinders, or was six, only – – those not too good.   I know people who’ve had expectations for normal, well-adjusted, happy lives; but, like beasts from ambush, an accident or sickness leapt out from nowhere and now they must work with crippled machinery.   Others dream of love and marriage and missed it.   Many are heartbroken dream about a marriage that might’ve been a thing of beauty, but was a tragedy instead.   Some children who were created as a blessing, became an inward agony.   In some households, the tie that binds has been ripped asunder.   Then comes the “Aha” moment when we understand that God promises to give us the same grace for our weaknesses that he poured into Paul during his weaknesses.   Grace is not some sweet, petite, graceful ballerina. The working hypothesis behind grace is awesome, unleashed power.   Grace is experienced as a deep-inner strength and peace that carries us through the most difficult of circumstances.   SECOND: GOD’S GRACE IS PUT ON DISPLAY AS WE POWER THROUGH OUR WEAKNESSES. GOD RECEIVES GREAT GLORY BY HOW WE HANDLE THOSE WEAKNESSES.   Paul sums up the second aspect of the “Bethlehem Principle”  in 2 Corinthians 4:7-11 :   “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.   We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.”   Well Randy, perhaps you’ve heard of the “Bethlehem Principle” before. Maybe not. But if you have, hopefully it was good to hear it again from my perspective.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Is there any one thing that I’m not doing now that might transform my prayer life? Sincerely, Brooke Dear Brooke, SEE ALSO:  When You Pray for Your Children with No Results ” Yes! Practice praying a spiritual prayer. A spiritual prayer is based upon biblical passages which focus on our bodies, souls, and human spirits. We are three-part creatures. ”May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus”   (1 Thessalonians 5:23 ). “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow (body) it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart”   (Hebrews 4:12 ). SEE ALSO:  Why You Don’t Want to be a Spiritual Baby Regarding our bodies, we are all concerned about praying for healthy bodies, for others as well as for ourselves. Some prayers originate in our souls. Our soul is the essence of who we are. We feel, think and make choices in our souls. In our souls we pray for people and things. Praying through a “prayer list” is an example of prayers that originate in our souls. Most of us are not so familiar with praying in our inner-human spirit. At the moment of our conversion, God the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our human spirit. The human spirit is where we commune with God and experience true worship. Our human spirit prompts us to pray in our souls for things that are not on our “prayer list.” 1. A spiritual prayer begins with praise. SEE ALSO:  How to Recover from a Spiritual Backslide Praise occurs when we tell God and others how impressed we are with God’s majestic character. Praise means focusing upon his love, compassion, mercy, righteousness, purity and holiness. Praise also occurs when we call to mind the demonstrations of his awesome power. He stood on the edge of nothingness and spoke the universe into existence! He turned the Nile into blood, split the Red Sea, and resurrected Jesus from the dead. Finally, praise occurs when we thank God for both his character and power. As we praise him for his marvelous character and awesome power, our faith is stimulated. We are encouraged that he is able to handle, in a loving way, any difficulty that comes our way. 2. We quiet our souls. We refuse to let our minds run away in multiple, uncontrolled directions. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”  (2 Corinthians 10:5 ). Fortunately, we have complete control as to whether we want to quiet down our souls or not. David wrote: “My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, like a child quieted and its mother’s breast; like a child that is quieted is my soul”  ( Psalm 131:1-3 RSV). 3. We enter into a time of mindful meditation. Meditation means that we quiet everything down as we prepare ourselves to enter the throne room of Heaven. As we seek to pray spiritual prayers, we focus cut on biblical and godly themes. For example, imagine  Psalm 23 , Jesus is your Shepherd. Imagine what he may look like. Do you picture him in a brown robe with long chestnut colored hair? He’s wearing sandals. You look up into his eyes as he looks down into yours. He’s smiling. Can you sense his love and compassion? Are you sensing his mercy and care? Imagine him putting his arms around you as he tells you how much he cares for you. Are you anxious? Meditate for awhile on  1 Peter 5:7 :  “Cast your anxieties on him because he cares for you.” Consider putting yourself in a  Bible  story. I often imagine that I am the last Israelite in line hurrying to get across the Red Sea before being caught by the thundering Egyptian army. I make it just in time as the waters close. What a sense of relief! 4. We’re ready now to transition from soul to spirit. Don’t be in a hurry here. We did most of the talking when we prayed in our souls. Now, it’s time for us to be quiet while God does the talking. “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. A dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool”  (Ecclesiastes 5:1-3 ). Here we listen for the promptings and guidance of the Holy Spirit. He may give us answers to questions. He may give us a better understanding of his will, or his plans for our lives. He may tell us about people and things who/which need our prayers that we would miss if we only focused on praying in our souls. While we’re praying in the spirit, it’s a good idea to spend some time in worship. Jesus said,  “God is looking for worshipers who will worship him in spirit and in truths” (John 4 ). Well Brooke, thanks for asking this question. I hope that my answer will bless your heart, and the hearts of many others. Sincerely, Roger