How We Become Vulnerable to Satan When I was a teenager my family toured Carlsbad Caverns. I shall never forget how dark the “main room” became when the park ranger turned out the lights. Surely my eyes will adjust, I thought to myself. Surely I will be able to see something in just a moment! Truth became evident; as the axiom says, “I could not see my hand in front of my face.” Then the same ranger who had plunged the mysterious room into total darkness struck a single match. It was amazing! We could see again. Indeed, a little bit of light makes a big difference. This study has the potential for shedding a little bit of life-changing Light into the hidden darkness in the lives of some in your Bible Fellowship. The lesson is about “footholds” and “strongholds” that might have been erected in members’ lives because they have failed to resist the enemy in one or more of the seven major categories of sin: occult involvement, deception, bitterness, rebellion, pride, habitual sin, and generational sin. In addition, they will have an opportunity to review several reliable indicators of demonic oppression related to the seven categories of sin. For several years Casas has helped people gain freedom from the bondage of these types of sin through what we call the “Seven Steps to Freedom.” My first experience with the “steps” occurred in the early 1990s. Again I was amazed at how a little bit of Light made a big difference. I found that I needed to confess, renounce, and seek God’s forgiveness and healing from things in each category of sin. For me, the steps served well as a “serious spiritual inventory.” I was surprised by some of the things that I discovered when I trusted the Lord to tell me the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). I had grown blindly comfortable to a couple of areas of bondage because I had allowed myself to be deceived and had deceived myself. Consequently, I repeatedly sinned in some areas, giving demons an opportunity to gain a foothold through my thoughts and actions. Over the last decade Casas ministers, pastoral counselors, and numerous trained and dedicated volunteers have served as prayer partners or facilitators to help many others work through the Seven Steps to Freedom. For many, the resulting spiritual freedom has been remarkably life-changing. I continue to regularly work through the steps related to both bitterness and pride. These are areas in my own life where I have to remain vigilant and alert to the schemes of the enemy. May I encourage you to carefully consider the fact that you, too, may be vulnerable to demonic oppression in some of the seven categories of sin? You may discover footholds and strongholds that need to be destroyed. Be open to allowing the Spirit of Truth to shine liberating Light upon your own thoughts and actions. Remember, Jesus said, If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:31-32) My prayer for you and for those you teach is that the Spirit of Truth will lead each one to know the truth and that all will choose to allow that truth to lead them into a lasting freedom in Christ. Studying the Word Together For the sake of those who come to see me for help, I never accept the excuse, “The devil made me do it.” We are all responsible for our own attitudes and actions. Satan simply takes advantage of the opportunities we give him. We have all the resources and protection we need to live a victorious life in Christ. If we’re not living it, it’s our choice. When we leave a door open for the devil by not resisting temptation, accusation, or deception, he will enter it. And if we continue to allow him access, he will assume squatter’s rights. If you have failed to stand firm in the faith or you have willfully sinned, it is your responsibility to do whatever is necessary to maintain a right relationship with God [and others]. Your eternal destiny is not at stake, but your daily victory is. —Dr. Neal T. Anderson At Casas we believe that Christians can make themselves vulnerable to demonic attack, allowing the devil to establish footholds and strongholds in their lives. In this lesson we will: ♦ Define footholds and strongholds ♦ Review seven areas of vulnerability which Christians must confront in order to maintain their freedom to live freely and abundantly in Christ ♦ Review a list of symptoms that might indicate that a person is being demonized Footholds and Strongholds The evil one and his demons seize opportunities to cunningly influence our thinking in many different ways and to varying degrees. If his schemes remain hidden from our conscience thought they can form a foothold or establish a stronghold in our souls from which evil spirits can operate unimpeded. Foothills The most common use of the word foothold today is as a place or thing that will support a climber’s foot or as a secure starting position from which further advance can be made. In biblical Greek it can refer to a spot, place, location, room, home, position, tract, occasion, opportunity, locality, region, or condition. Paul gives us insight into how Satan might establish a foothold in our thinking from which further advancement can be made. He says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27) In these verses Paul warns us to quickly forgive an offense so that retained anger does not turn into bitterness, because bitterness (long held unforgiveness) can give Satan a “foot up” in our thought life. It can give him a platform that will support further incursions into our thought life. Let me illustrate. When I am offended or emotionally wounded, becoming angry or embittered, I may think things such as: 1. If I forgive the person who offended me, he/she will just hurt me again. 2. By holding onto my anger, I can punish the one who offended me. 3. This offense is so egregious, I cannot forgive. There is no truth in any of these thinking patterns. The behavior that typically follows these kinds of deception is sinful disobedience of Christ’s instruction and example of forgiveness. Through unwilling ness to forgive, the evil one gains a foothold —gains ground, a place, or a spot from which to make further advances into his target’s thought processes and actions. Strongholds Another of Satan’s deceptive schemes is to establish strongholds in our mind. Look at what the Apostle Paul has to say about this: …though we live in the world we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) The Greek word for stronghold is used in the Greek Old Testament several times where it always carries the literal meaning of a fortress. The above passage is the only occurrence of the word stronghold in the New Testament and it is used figuratively to refer to the “strength of false arguments.” The words rendered arguments and pretension in the Greek tell us that the stronghold—the strong false argument—is established by a proud adversary for evil purposes. Look at the way Today’s English Version expresses it: The weapons we use in our fight are not the world’s weapons but God’s powerful weapons, which we use to destroy strongholds. We destroy false arguments; we pull down every proud obstacle that is raised against the knowledge of God; we take every thought captive and make it obey Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5, TEV) Mark Bubeck defines stronghold, saying: “a stronghold is an idea, belief, fear, feeling, desire, or anything else (arguments, pretensions against the knowledge of God) that has a strong hold, or a firm grip on, our mind, spirit, body, or heart—enslaving us—motivating us to act out against God’s will through repeated sinful behavior. A stronghold is a believed lie we have allowed to become reality to us and hold us in bondage to sin. It’s a lie that has darkened our minds to the truth of Christ.” The differences between footholds and strongholds are subtle. But we can make this distinction. A foothold is based upon lies one believes that lead him/her into sin for which he/she remains unrepentant. Continuing to function in that sin gives Satan a place from which to advance against us—to gain more ground in our lives. A stronghold seems to be directly connected to a proudly held strong argument or belief that weakens a person’s faith in God or leads the person away from God. Such false beliefs may stem from apostasy, habitual sin, or from misinterpretations of traumatic events in a person’s life. The false belief is so deeply ensconced in the person’s thinking that Satan can safely operate in the person’s life as if he were protected within the walls of a strong fortress. Now let’s look at some ways we can give evil spirits an opportunity to establish footholds and/or strongholds in our lives —ways in which we can become vulnerable to demonic attack. Becoming Vulnerable to Demonic Attack through Sin The door for spiritual attack in our life is opened both by the sins we commit and the sins committed against us. A review of writings of the “experts” in the field of spiritual warfare reveals that there are numerous areas of sin through which the enemy gains ground in our lives so that he can harass, oppress, and demonize believers. These include involvement in the occult (false religions), deception, bitterness, rebellion, pride, habitual sin, and generational sin. Involvement in the Occult Replacing the worship of God with the worship of Satan is the core characteristic of involvement in the occult. The worship of Satan is often hidden in the activities and beliefs of occult groups (occult means “hidden”). Just as Satan in his Temptations of Christ openly offered Jesus ruling power (Matt. 4: 8-9), the occult is seductive and deceptive as it offers power to the seeker. It seems there are two kinds of occult practitioners: those like witches and Satanists, who are clearly seeking power over others, and those who are unaware both of the demonic nature of the power “source” and the seductive pull they experience. Those who have been caught up in occultist practices are often surprised to learn that Scripture specifically warns against such involvement. When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord…. You must be blameless before the Lord your God. (Deuteronomy 18:9-13) In this passage Moses warns the people of Israel to avoid “these detestable ways” in order to be “blameless before the Lord your God.” Although there are many other occult activities, notice the specific practices mentioned in verses above: 1. Human sacrifice to idols 2. Divination 3. Sorcery 4. Interpretation of omens 5. Witchcraft 6. Casting of spells 7. Being or consulting a medium, spiritist, or one who consults the dead Deception Bitterness (unforgiveness) is one of the primary areas of vulnerability for many Christians. Neal Anderson says, Of the hundreds of people I have had the privilege to help find freedom in Christ, forgiveness has been the primary issue, and in some cases, t he only issue that needed to be resolved. Ask any of my staff members what affords Satan the greatest access to [individual believers], and based on experience, they would all say “unforgiveness.” Some people struggle with bitterness because they have misconceptions about what it means to forgive. Forgiveness assaults their sense of justice. For these, forgiving someone for an offense means to let the offender off the hook. This smacks of weakness and codependency. The opposite, of course, is true. Forgive ness takes great courage and it reflects the grace and mercy of Christ. Frankly, my experiences with counselees tell me that some do not want to forgive because they want vengeance. And they are dedicated to extracting that vengeance. Some do it with cruel and direct retaliation. Others are more covert. They get their vengeance through gossip, manipulation of relationships, and other passive-aggressive behaviors. Some just enjoy hating the offender. Hanging onto bitterness is self-destructive and poisons the soul (Heb. 12:15; Eph. 4:30 32). It is a violation of love (1 Cor. 13:5); it is rebellion against Jesus’ instruction to His followers (Matt. 6:12, 14-15). We will study forgiveness in detail in a later lesson. But for now let’s make these observations: 1. Forgiveness is not forgetting. 2. Forgiveness is letting go of resentment; we forgive in order to heal. 3. Forgiveness is not seeking revenge (overtly or covertly). 4. Forgiveness is something you do for your sake; it is between you and God. 5. Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another’s sin. We pay the price for the evil we forgive, just as Christ did. 6. Forgiveness is a crisis of the soul; it is an act of the will—a choice we make even if we do not feel like it. 7. Forgiveness sets the offended one free to heal and grow beyond the pain of the offense. Rebellion Rebellion is failing to submit to the authority of God and to the authorities that He has placed over us in the structures He has ordained. The essence of rebellion is rooted in this question: Who is in control? When we rebel against those God has placed in authority over us we are taking control away from God and claiming it for ourselves. The Bible says this about rebellion: Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness [insubordination] is as bad as worshiping idols. (1 Samuel 15:23, NLT) Witchcraft and idolatry are both on God’s list of “detestable ways.” That makes rebellion and stubbornness [insubordination] detestable to God. How sobering! The Word gives us specific information about those to whom we are to submit—those not to rebel against. ♦ Civil government. This includes government officials and the laws they have imposed (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Tim. 2:1-4; 1 Pet. 2:13-17). ♦ Parents, stepparents, or legal guardians (Eph. 6:1-3). Children should also be submissive to teachers, coaches, and school officials (Rom. 13:1-4). ♦ Husbands (1 Pet. 3:1-4; Eph. 5:22). ♦ One another (Eph. 5:21). This includes husbands being submissive to the needs of their wives and Christians being submissive to the needs of others in the Body. ♦ Church leaders (Heb. 1:3-7). ♦ Employers (1 Pet. 2:18-23). ♦ God, Christ, Holy Spirit, and the written Word (Dan. 9:5-9). Christians become vulnerable to Satan and attacks by his demons when they rebel against authority in any of the above areas. We cannot leave this section without acknowledging that we are not to submit to an authority that instructs us to do something that is against God’s teaching. Nor are we to submit to an authority that is physically, emotionally, or spiritually abusive or that tries to keep us from doing that which God teaches us to do. In either case, we are to obey God rather than man. Pride When we behave arrogantly or harbor prideful attitudes, we are emulating Satan rather than being an image-bearer of Christ. Remember that Satan was removed from the presence of God and cast to the earth because of his pride. Notice the connection between pride and spiritual warfare in the following verses: He gives us more and more strength to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God sets himself against the proud, but he shows favor to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. (James 4:6-8, NLT) “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. (1 Peter 5:5-9, NLT) Pride often manifests itself in self-reliance, selfishness, and self-condemnation. Pride is a nasty 5-letter word! It is an issue that many Christians must constantly battle because it is so deeply entrenched in our human sinful nature. It is easy for Satan to gain a foothold or to establish a stronghold in our lives through this sin. (Review Lesson 9, “Of Pride and Brokenness,” in The Prayer God Always Answers for further information.) Habitual Sin The habitual practice of a specific sin can lead to bondage to “the god of this age.” In the previous lesson we learned that Paul, using the sin of bitterness and unforgiveness as the example, clearly identifies this principle. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27) If we habitually remain unforgiving, holding onto anger, we create an opportunity for Satan to establish a foothold or beach head in our life from which he may advance. This principle works because it is based on the nature of sin. Sin is rebellion against God and rebellion is at the core of who Satan is. He was the first rebel against God and has continued to work his plans against God by tempting man to join with him in his rebellion by committing sin. Demonization can take place when we join Satan in his rebellion by our habitual sin, giving him a place to build a stronghold. Of course, unforgiveness is not the only habitual sin that can give evil spirits entrance into our mind and will. A habitual gossip, liar, thief, etc., can open himself or herself to demonization as well. This principle is at work in the lives of many addicts, too.7 Drug addiction, sexual addiction, and alcoholism are all forms of habitual sin that open people up to demonization. Generational Sin People can be spiritually influenced in a negative way by the idolatrous sins of four generations of their ancestors. Look at these passages: "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments….” (Exodus 20:4-6) “Now may the Lord’s strength be displayed, just as you have declared: ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.’ In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” (Numbers 14:17-19) You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the fathers’ sins into the laps of their children after them. (Jeremiah 32:18) Now look at these two passages: Now look at these two passages: In those days people will no longer say, “The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” Instead, everyone will die for his own sin; whoever eats sour grapes —his own teeth will be set on edge. (Jeremiah 31:29-30) The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: ‘The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? “As surely as I live,” declares the Sovereign Lord, “you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son —both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die….” (Ezekiel 18:1-4) It is clear from these two passages that we are not accountable for the sins of our forbearers, nor will we share any guilt as the result of their sin. However, it is also important to recognize that we can be affected both psychologically and spiritually by the consequences of the sins of previous generations. We sometimes refer to evil spirits that demonize one generation of a family after another as either “generational” or “familiar” spirits. Some refer to them as “familial” spirits. These spirits have gained ground in the family because of a particular family member’s sin—usually a sin of idolatry —the sin of putting something else in the place reserved for God and God alone. We acknowledge that this entry point for demonization is difficult to understand. However, in our experience at Casas we have seen it demonstrated in the lives of many we have helped over the years. It is easy to connect the sins of the fathers in a social context. A person who has been physically abused by his father is likely to abuse his own children. Addiction has a genetic component and is easily tracked from one generation to the next. Sexual sin can be observed generation to generation. Indicators of Demonic Oppression/Attack Perhaps it would be of interest to you to have a check list to aid in determining if the symptoms presented by a person might have a demonic origin. Casas pastoral counselors, healing team members, and intercessors have found helpful the following indicators of demonic oppression/attack: ♦ A family history of demonic influence coming from witchcraft or satanic worship; Native American, New Age, or Eastern religious practices; Freemasonry ♦ Disinterest in or inability to read Scripture, comprehend the teaching of the Word, or participate in worship and prayer ♦ Possession of items used in Pagan, New Age, Eastern, or Native American worship rituals or in Freemasonry ceremonies ♦ Fearful, bizarre dreams and/or night experiences related to sexual perversion, occultic symbolism, or violence; evil presences, visitations, or impressions of demonic faces ♦ Conscious invitation extended to Satan and/or demons to become involved in one’s life ♦ Systematic patterns of personal sinfulness, i.e., lying, dishonesty, and resentment toward others; sexual acting out; and racial hatred ♦ Personality disturbance, i.e., paranoia, vengefulness, abuse of others (physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual), self-mutilation, suicide attempts, depression, rebellion, and bizarre, violent, blasphemous thoughts ♦ Addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, work, food, exercise, internet, or television ♦ Experiencing no relief from medical treatments (including prescribed drugs), personal prayer, or psycho logical counseling This list should be used as a guide rather than as a determinant of the presence of the demonic. For example, we know that addictions can have many causes, includ ing genetic factors, and we would not assume an addiction was solely the work of the demonic in a person’s life. However, it is incumbent upon us to consider that the demonic probably plays a role in the addiction. Application Ideas and Questions The objective of this lesson is to help our Bible Fellowship members understand that many Christians have given ground or surrendered a foothold or stronghold to the enemy though particular areas of sin. In addition, we want to help them learn to identify demonic harassment, oppression, or other forms of spiritual attack. Our objectives are met when they can apply in their lives what they have learned. Here are some questions that you might ponder as you continue to prepare: ♦ Have evil spirits gained a foothold or stronghold in any area of my life? ♦ If I were to take a serious spiritual inventory, which of the seven areas of vulnerability would be most likely to hold me in bondage at some level? Past or present involvement in the occult? Deception? Bitterness? Rebellion? Pride? Habitual sin? Generational sin? ♦ What indicators of spiritual attack do I see in my life? Commentary A decision to minimize information on deception in this lesson’s Studying the Word Together was made based upon several things: 1. We covered the concept of deception thoroughly in Lesson Five. 2. In an effort to keep the length of Studying the Word Together to a manageable length, we elected to provide additional information in the Commentary for those who either needed or wanted a more through summary. The material that follows is abridged from information provided by Steve Dowdle in Casas’ Guide to Spiritual Warfare and the Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neal Anderson. Deception Deception, by its very nature, is something we are not aware of as it is taking place in our lives. It is one of the most effective strategies Satan uses against the individual believer and the church. Jesus described Satan as the father of lies. “Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). If he can convince us to believe a lie about ourselves or God, about someone we are in relationship with, about our church and its leadership —and the list goes on—then he can influence us to act in accordance with whatever we have chosen to falsely believe is true. On the other hand, God wants us to live our lives based on what is true—not what the world says is true, not what we have told ourselves, not what others have told us—but solely on what God says is true. We live our Christian lives by faith according to the Word of God. We know Jesus is the Truth, the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth, God’s Word is truth, and we are to speak the truth in love (John 14:6; 16:13; 17:17; Eph. 4:15). Lies keep us in bondage, but the truth sets us free (John 8:32). but the truth sets us free (John 8:32). We can see the heart of Jesus for us as it is expressed in His dialog with the disciples at the Last Supper. He prayed: “I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one” (John 17:15, NASU). He then revealed how this can actually take place. “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is the truth” (John 17:17, NASU). Knowing and acting on the truth taught in the Scriptures is the mark of a disciple of Christ. Jesus said, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free” (John 8:31-32, NASU). In Lesson Five we learned that Satan seeks to capture our mind, emotions, and will through deception. We also learned that we must to be alert to several sources of deception. Satan and his demons can directly deceive people (1 Tim. 4:1). Other people can deceive us (Matt. 24:4-11). We can be deceived by the culture in which we live (Rom. 12:2). We can deceive ourselves (1 Cor. 3:18). Although it is often difficult to pinpoint a direct cause-effect relationship between a lie that we believe and the source of the lie, we know that Satan’s power is always in the lie because he is the father of lies. The list below reflects examples of lies that some have chosen to falsely believe: Acquiring money and things will bring lasting happiness. Excessive food and alcohol can relieve your stress and made you happy. An attractive body and personality will get you what you need. A person spiritually needs more than what God has given you in Christ. An individual regularly can read, see, observe, or listen to things inconsistent with the moral/ethical behavior taught in Scripture without being corrupted. An individual can choose to just hear God’s Word but not do what it says. They have no sin. A person can be truly religious but not bridle their tongue. Often a person who is unaware that they are operating under the influence of deception or who is not wanting to deal with the truth will develop “defense mechanisms” that help him or her avoid being confronted with the truth. Some of those mechanisms include: Denial (conscious or subconscious refusal to face the truth) Fantasy escape (avoiding “real world” truth) Emotional insulation (withdrawal to avoid rejection) Regression (mentally reverting back to a less threatening time) Displacement (taking out frustration or anger on others) Suggested Lesson Plan NOTE TO TEACHER: This suggested lesson plan contains many elements that, if employed, will help maximize learning for life-change in your Bible Fellowship. If you are an experienced teacher, you have freedom to create your own plan based upon the “Studying the Word Together” section. If you are less experienced, we suggest that you “stick to the plan.” However, even less-experienced teachers should feel free to modify the plan based upon the needs of your Bible Fellowship. This plan is designed to be presented in 35 minutes. It is important, therefore, that you carefully plan your presentation so that you communicate the main points with brevity and clarity. Important Scripture References: ♦ Ephesians 4:26-27 ♦ 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ♦ Deuteronomy 18:9-13 ♦ 1 Samuel 15:23 ♦ 1 Peter 5:5-9 ♦ Exodus 20:4-6 Teaching Goals: ♦ Learn: Bible Fellowship members learn that Christians make themselves vulnerable to demonic attack through seven categories of sin ♦ Experience: John 16:13 spirit of truth revealing or confirming areas of demonic attack in their lives Before Class Begins: ♦ Distribute handouts. Step One: Getting Ready to Learn (5 MINUTES) ♦ Begin by telling your department that today’s lesson is about how Christians make themselves vulnerable to demonic attack. Then say something like: “I want each of you to do a short exercise to get ready for our discussion.” ♦ Refer everyone to the “Opening Exercise” on their handout. Invite each man to silently read Ephesians 4:26-27 (on handout) and, based upon how they think Paul is using the word in the passage, to write down a definition of “foothold.” Invite each woman to silently read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (on handout). Then, based upon her understanding of how Paul is using the word in the passage, write down a definition of “stronghold.” ♦ Ask one or two men and one or two women to share their definitions Step Two: Footholds and Strongholds (5 MINUTES) ♦ Footholds: Briefly explain the concept of a “foothold” as a point of entry resulting from sin, which gives Satan ground, a place, or spot from which he can make further advances into our thought processes and actions. ♦ Strongholds: Briefly explain the concept of a “stronghold” and define it using M. Bubeck’s definition: “A stronghold is an idea, belief, fear, feeling, desire, or anything else (arguments, pretensions against the knowledge of God) that has a strong hold, or a firm grip on, our mind, spirit, body, or heart—enslaving us —motivating us to act out against God’s will through repeated sinful behavior. A stronghold is a believed lie we have allowed to become reality to us and hold us in bondage to sin. It’s a lie that has darkened our minds to the truth of Christ.” ♦ Tell your group that: The differences between footholds and strongholds are subtle. But we can make this distinction. A foothold is based upon lies one believes that lead him/her into sin for which he/she remains unrepentant. Continuing to function in that sin gives Satan a place from which to advance against us—to gain more ground in our lives. A stronghold seems to be directly connected to a proudly held strong argument or belief that weakens a person’s faith in God or leads the person away from God. Such false beliefs may stem from apostasy, habitual sin, or from misinterpretations of traumatic events in a person’s life. The false belief is so deeply ensconced in the person’s thinking that Satan can safely operate in the person’s life as if he were protected within the walls of a strong fortress. Step Three: Becoming Vulnerable to Demonic Attack through Sin (20 MINUTES) ♦ Explain to your group that there are at least seven categories of sin through which evil spirits can easily estab lish footholds or strongholds in our lives. Refer them to the list on their handout. ♦ (NOTE: Carefully prepare this section. Plan your words so that you can complete your lesson in 35 minutes. If you have additional time for teaching, this is the section to use it in.) Using applicable Scriptures, briefly explain each of the seven cate gories. (NOTE: Italicized Scripture references below are passages you may ask someone to read from “Today’s Scriptures” on handout.) Involvement in the occult (Deut. 18:9-13) Deception Bitterness Rebellion (1 Sam. 15:23) Pride Habitual Sin Generational Sin (Ex. 20:4-6) Step Four: Application and Closing ♦ Refer your group to the closing exercise on their handout where they can find a checklist that can be used as an aid in determining whether the evil one or his agents might have established a foothold or stronghold in their lives. (NOTE: You should do this exercise before leading your Bible Fellowship through it. If you are comfortable doing so, share any things the Spirit reveals to you, or has revealed in the past, concerning things you may need to work through or have worked through.) ♦ Invite each member to silently pray the following prayer: Holy Spirit, the Word of God declares that you are the Spirit of Truth who has come to guide me into all truth. I submit myself to You and ask that You reveal to my mind—or confirm to me—truth concerning these indicators that may reveal where I have made myself vulnerable to demonic oppression (John 16:13). It is the desire of my heart to recognize and destroy footholds and strongholds that evil spirits may have established in order to influence my thoughts and actions (Psalm 21:2; Eph. 4:26-27; 2 Cor. 10:3- 5). I thank You in the Name and Authority of Jesus, the Christ. Amen . ♦ After giving them a moment to pray silently, invite them to review the indicator list and to place a mark by any of the indicators that the Spirit seems to confirm in their spirit. ♦ Give people a moment to read the list and then suggest to them that they pray the following prayer: Lord Jesus, I thank You that You have provided me with all of the resources that I need for abundant spiritual life in You (2 Pet. 1:3). Holy Spirit of Truth, I thank you for revealing to me indications of possible demonic oppression in my life. I trust You, in accordance with your Word, to liberally give me the necessary knowledge and wisdom to destroy any footholds or strongholds established in my life by the enemies of God and Christ. I understand that Your knowledge and Wisdom may be provided to me through your Word and through godly and wise counsel of other believers. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. ♦ End your teaching time by reminding your group of the opportunity to participate in the Seven Steps to Freedom process on April 21. This may be the opportunity through which God would desire to help them destroy any footholds or strongholds. Some may prefer to contact Pastoral Ministries (878-1136) to make an appointment to talk through their discoveries with a Casas Pastoral Counselor who can arrange for them to meet with some prayer partners to help them work through the Seven Steps. Today in My Bible Fellowship Opening Exercise ♦Men: Silently read Ephesians 4:26-27 (in “Today’s Scriptures”) and, based upon how you think Paul used the word in the passage, write a definition of “foothold.” ♦Women: Silently read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (in “Today’s Scriptures”) and, based upon your understanding of how Paul used the word in the passage, write a definition of “stronghold.” Seven Categories of Sin Which Can Result in Footholds or Strongholds 1. Involvement in the occult (Deut. 18:9-13) 2. Deception (by Satan, 1 Tim. 4:1; by other people, Matt 24:4-11; by the culture in which we live, Rom. 12:2; by ourselves, 1 Cor. 3:18) 3. Bitterness/unforgiveness (Heb. 12:15; Eph. 4:30-32; 1 Cor. 13:5; Matt. 6:12, 14-15) 4. Rebellion (1 Sam 15:23) 5. Pride (James 4:6-8, 1 Pet. 5:5-9) 6. Habitual Sin (Eph. 4:26-27) 7. Generational Sin (Ex. 20:4-6; Num. 14:17 19; Jer. 32:18) Indicators of Demonic Oppression/Attack 1. A family history of demonic influence coming from witchcraft or satanic worship; Native American, New Age, or Eastern religious practices; Freemasonry 2. Disinterest in or inability to read Scripture, comprehend the teaching of the Word, or participate in worship and prayer 3. Possession of items used in Pagan, New Age, Eastern, or Native American worship rituals or in Freemasonry ceremonies 4. Fearful, bizarre dreams and/or night experiences related to sexual perversion, occultic symbolism, or violence; evil presences, visitations, or impressions of demonic faces 5. Conscious invitation extended to Satan and/ or demons to become involved in one’s life 6. Systematic patterns of personal sinfulness, i.e., lying, dishonesty, and resentment toward others; sexual acting out; and racial hatred 7. Personality disturbance, i.e., paranoia, venge fulness, abuse of others (physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual), self-mutilation, suicide attempts, depression, rebellion; and bizarre, violent, blasphemous thoughts 8. Addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, work, food, exercise, internet, or television 9. Experiencing no relief from medical treatments (including prescribed drugs), personal prayer, or psychological counseling Prayer for Revelation: Holy Spirit, the Word of God declares that you are the Spirit of Truth who has come to guide me into all truth. I submit myself to You and ask that You reveal to my mind—or confirm to me—truth concerning these indicators that may reveal where I have made myself vulnerable to demonic oppression (John 16:13). It is the desire of my heart to recognize and destroy footholds and strongholds that evil spirits may have established in order to influence my thoughts and actions (Psalm 21:2; Eph. 4:26-27; 2 Cor. 10:3-5). I thank You in the Name and Authority of Jesus, the Christ. Amen. Thanksgiving and Prayer for Knowledge and Wisdom: Lord Jesus, I thank You that You have provided me with all of the resources that I need for abundant spiritual life in You (2 Pet. 1:3). Holy Spirit of Truth, I thank you for revealing to me indications of possible demonic oppression in my life. I trust You, in accordance with your Word, to liberally give me the necessary knowledge and wisdom to destroy any footholds or strongholds established in my life by the enemies of God and Christ. I understand that Your knowledge and Wisdom may be provided to me through your Word and through godly and wise counsel of other believers. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. Today's Scriptures Ephesians 4:26-27: “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5: For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Deuteronomy 18:9-13: When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord…. You must be blameless before the Lord your God. 1 Samuel 15:23: Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness [insubordination] is as bad as worshiping idols. (NLT) Exodus 20:4-6: “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments….” Daily Reflections Begin each daily reflection by meditating a few minutes on the suggested Scripture passage. Seek to listen to the Holy Spirit as He speaks to you. Then consider the comments and questions about the passage. Be aware of both your thoughts and your feelings. Respond to God through both. Monday: In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-28) Unforgiveness—bitterness—makes you vulnerable to demonic attack. Demons can use it to establish a foothold in your life. Ask God to search your heart and reveal any unforgive ness there. As He does, make the choice to forgive and then prayerfully confirm that choice with God. Tuesday : … [T]hough we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) The enemy uses distorted truths and false beliefs—also known as “stinking thinking”—to establish strongholds in your mind. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any of your “stinking thinking” and commit to Him to pursue His truth with which the stronghold can be demolished. Wednesday: When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord…You must be blameless before the Lord your God. (Deuteronomy 18:9-13) Even innocent, casual, or “playful” involvement in the occult and false religions can open the door to demonic harassment or oppression. Confess to God and renounce any instances of occult involvement and declare your commitment to God’s truth and your heart’s desire to worship Him only. In Jesus’ Name, command any evil spirits that have gained ground in your life through participation in the occult or false religions to depart from you. Thursday: Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft and stubbornness (insubordination) as bad as worshiping idols. (1 Samuel 15:23, NLT) Rebellion is the opposite of submission. The Bible teaches us that we are to submit to— or not rebel against—civil governments, parents, spouses, one another in the Body, church leaders, employers, and God. Invite the Holy Spirit to reveal any acts of rebellion in your life. Agree with the Spirit in confession and seek God’s forgiveness, committing to submit to Him and any authority He has placed over you. Friday: “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. (1 Peter 5:5-9, NLT) Our “worries and cares” provide opportunities for demons to entice us to question God’s love. These are the times when we can be tempted to wrestle control from God and claim it for ourselves. Confess any ways in which you seek to “take control” because you question God’s love for you. Seek His forgiveness. Sin, bitterness, pride, arrogance, rebellion are all dangerous impediments to our spiritual lives and make us vulnerable to Satan’s influence. Sin, bitterness, pride, arrogance, rebellion are all dangerous impediments to our spiritual lives and make us vulnerable to Satan's influence.

BEGINNER'S GUIDE: BASIC BIBLE READING There are certain regular practices that every new Christian should get accustomed to if he or she wants to experience all that God has to offer. Those practices include: • Bible Reading • Prayer • Church Attendance • Sharing your Faith, and • Obedience to God’s Word This study explores the basic practice of Bible reading, how to read the Bible, and how through that reading you can experience significant changes in your life. Do you want to experience all that God has in store for you? The gateway to much of that experience is in the scripture. The Bible says of itself: “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (II Timothy 3:16-17). I was once asked by a young Christian why he couldn’t hear God speak. He said that he didn’t have time to read the Bible but wanted to hear God speak. I told him, “If you aren’t listening to what God has already said in the Bible then why would He have anything else to say to you?” As you learn to read and love the scripture you will find a treasure of wisdom and help for everything you need in life. READING THE BIBLE EDUCATES US Read: II Timothy 3:16-17; II Peter 1:3-4; Deuteronomy 30:11-14 The Bible presents itself as historical and factual, not a book of philosophy. We should therefore treat it as such. (II Timothy 3:16-17) The writers of the Bible were not philosophers trying to communicate a new way of living. They were average men who God inspired to write accounts of his plan to redeem man from the ravages of sin. The Bible is an historical document, telling the history of God’s relationship with man. Read chapters 3 and 4 in the book of Genesis. What does it tell you about man’s nature? The Bible presents itself as the inspired Word of God. As such, it has authority to instruct you in every area of your life. (II Peter 1:3-4) Because the Bible is inspired by God it carries God’s authority. It is through God’s authority that we are able to live transformed lives. No other book or writing in history has the authority to change us the way the Bible has. How has reading the Bible changed you so far? What ideas or lifestyle habits have you already changed in your first experiences with the Bible? The Bible presents itself as truth. The Bible is accurate and trustworthy for every topic that it addresses, therefore, we should trust it. (Deuteronomy 30:11-14) Since God is the Creator of all things—even us—it stands to reason that God is trustworthy when He has something to say in the Bible about our lives. In your reading of the Bible so far, what do you see in its pages that are relevant to your life? Will you trust it? KNOWING THE BIBLE CHANGES US Read: Romans 4:23-24; 15:4; II Timothy 3:16-17; John 17:17 Because the Bible is historical and factual it has many examples in its pages that we can apply to our lives. (Romans 4:23-24; 15:4) The Bible is not simply a book of philosophy or stories. The objective of the Bible is to provide life-changing transformation for the person who trusts its truth. Throughout the Bible there are many examples to follow to help us become all that God wants us to be. You get to know the Bible by reading it! As you read the stories about Jesus in the New Testament, what stands out to you about Jesus’ character that you want to emulate? If we trust the Bible as inspired and authoritative then we can experience personal transformation facilitated by its pages. (II Timothy 3:16-17) When we say the Bible is inspired it means that its words come from God who inspired certain writers to write them down for our benefit. When we say it is authoritative we mean that the Bible carries God’s authority to transform us since it comes from God. How can you express your trust in the Bible to transform you? How can you act upon what you read in the Bible to help change your life? The Bible can help us become people of truth. (John 17:17) The Bible can help us become people of truth because the Bible is truth. When we trust its words as coming from God we can change our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to make our character more in line with God’s truth. Do you want to become a person of truth? Why? What can you do today to express your trust in God’s truth? SHARING THE BIBLE CHANGES OTHERS Read: Matthew 28:19-20; James 1:21-25; I Corinthians 11:1 When we share the Bible with others it can help change their lives. (Matthew 28:19-20) Every Christian is called by God to share his word with others. When we teach others to observe his commands we are sharing his word, his truth. Just as your life is changed by God’s word, so too you can help change others by sharing what you know from the Bible. Have you recently told anyone about your experience with Jesus? Telling others about Jesus can be life changing. Who will you share with today? Our Bible reading is incomplete unless we allow it to work a change in our lives. (James 1:21-25) Imagine if you studied for a career in school but forgot everything you learned. Where would you career be? Your schooling would have been a waste. So too, the Bible has many things to teach us. As our lives change, others see that and it can have an impact on them as well. What do others see in your relationship with Jesus that they would like to have? How can your life transformation be an example to others? By becoming people of truth, guided by the scriptures, we can live as an example to others of how God can change a person’s life. (I Corinthians 11:1) Your life might be the only Bible that some people read. Therefore, how we live our lives in front of others is important to helping them see the light and truth of Jesus. How are you trying to imitate Christ today? Do you know of any other Christians whom you would feel confident in imitating their way of life?

Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. (Ps. 33:8) Our culture cannot get enough exposés on fallen Christian leaders. Something about the revealed hypocrisy, told in such delicious detail, makes a cynical world feel much more at ease in their own sinful skin. But a true Christ Awakening would change all of that. If our church leaders were kept on their faces before God, sure in their callings and submitted to all accountability for their actions and motives, we would see revival in our land. Jesus obviously saved His sharpest rebukes for religious leaders who failed to deal with the pride and sense of entitlement they felt in their own vaunted positions. But the Word is clear that a holy, courageous army of leaders, committed to right teaching and the character to match, is a pleasing sight in the eyes of the Lord. If we genuinely expect a renewal of purity and justice in the land, we are off-base to expect it to begin anywhere other than here, in God’s house, with us. Pray that our church and ministry leaders would open their hearts wide for an awakening to the “fear of the Lord” rather than the approval of people, thus restoring integrity and credibility. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7) “. . . become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Phil. 2:15) Where has God’s glory gone in American ministry? When did we make the shift from laying it all down for the sake of Christ to joining the latest “bless me” club? When did the simple, pure gospel of the Savior become about “me,” “my,” and “mine”? What happened to the transparency and integrity that marked the church for centuries, when following Christ meant hardship, denial, and even death Do we as spiritual leaders realize how precipitous is our position as a nation? The world financial markets are spiraling downward. Rogue nations are going nuclear and possibly proliferating their weapons to others. Terrorists are constructing endless plots to wreak havoc in our safe cities. We feel secure, but even secular programs show us that we are one blast, one germ, and one market turn away from collapse as a nation. In the church world, education, connections, manipulation, innovation, entrepreneurship, and aggressiveness can amplify a person’s gift. The fact that someone’s ministry continues to expand and looks exciting is no guarantee that the person is operating in the anointing. The anointing operates in brokenness and is yielded at the cross. The anointing focuses people on Jesus instead of a person. It is “pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17). The anointing submits to the correction of others, is transparent, and operates in relaxation and peace. God is calling for change. Every day our newspapers relate the stories of what we thought were exemplary ministries, announcing the amicable divorce of their leaders or a violent end to their marriage. Conservative, pro-family political leaders face public humiliation when their names appear on a prostitute’s phone list or a policeman catches them in a compromised position in a restroom. Pastors divorce their wives, marry assistants, sell church properties, and simply start other churches elsewhere. Huge, mainline denominations as well as independent churches are reeling from the im pact of the exposures of so many fallen leaders. We must do something radical and immediate. The patient is internally bleeding, though perfect in outward health and appearance. It’s difficult to quantify a code of conduct by which pastors should live. However, for the sake of changing our nation, the following ten points provide a basic commitment by which to live. These “Ten Commandments of Ministry” will help restore integrity and credibility to ministry leaders. Prayer and Fasting The first commitment of ministry leaders involves pledging to a life of prayer and fasting, making time with God the highest priority. Faithful to Scripture The second commitment of ministry leaders includes pledging to faithfully studying, teaching, and preaching Scripture. Life of Integrity The third commitment of ministry leaders involves pledging to integrity in the areas of financial accountability, commitments, honesty, and doctrine. Moral Purity The fourth commitment of ministry leaders relates to pledging moral purity in thoughts, media, appearance, and the marriage covenant. Being an Example The fifth commitment of ministry leaders includes pledging to be an example in work habits, community reputation, and family relations. Covenant Relationships The sixth commitment of ministry leaders regards pledging to covenant relationships, which foster accountability, net working, team building, and a kingdom mentality. Kingdom Philosophy The seventh commitment of ministry leaders involves pledging to a philosophy of implicity, sincerity, and sacrifice. Life of Faith The eighth commitment of ministry leaders includes pledging to a life of faith through clear vision, fearless trust, and a conquering mentality. Spiritual Warfare The ninth commitment of ministry leaders relates to pledging to spiritual warfare against principalities, not people. Walking in Wisdom The tenth commitment of ministry leaders involves pledging to walk in the humility, teamwork, order, and creativity of wisdom. Though certainly not all-inclusive, these ten commitments form a good foundation on which to base a solid, fruitful, lifelong ministry. We can change our nation if we first change ourselves. Pastor by pastor and leader by leader, a new leadership will emerge, “blameless”, “innocent”, and “above reproach”. Let’s purpose from this moment forward that we will make our highest aim in ministry to be a part of the remnant who are committed to the “fear of the Lord”, rather than approval of people. Larry Stockstill, The Remnant: Restoring Integrity to American Ministry (Lake Mary: Charisma House, 2008), x-xiii, 167-69, used by permission. Thanksgiving Thank You, Father that “the fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever” (Ps. 19:9). We are grateful, Lord, for Your eyes “are on those who fear” You, “on those whose hope is in” Your unfailing love (Ps. 33:18). Dear God, we appreciate Your concern for our integrity and the way in which we represent ourselves to others, for “a good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Prov. 22:1). Confession Purity has become a laughable term. Forgive us, Lord, for not taking actions to filter out impurity, for it is “the little foxes that ruin the vineyards” (Song of Songs 2:15). We repent of an unwillingness to be an example, not to go the second mile in our neighborhood and community. Dear God, we regret that we often have not “set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in pu rity” (1 Tim. 4:12). We have often focused on stockpiling our resources, rather than building our relationships. Jesus, cleanse us for not “being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose” (Phil. 2:2). Our philosophy of ministry has often created a burden for others. Change us, Lord, for Your “yoke is easy and burden is light” (Matt. 11:30). Petition Let us “serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling” (Ps. 2:11). Let us “who fear the LORD praise him!” (Ps. 22:23) “Make vows to the LORD your God and fulfill them; let all the neighboring lands bring gifts to the One to be feared” (Ps. 76:11). Promises to Claim Moral Purity We, beginning with me, pledge to moral purity in thoughts, media, appearance, and the marriage covenant—for “marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb. 13:4). Being an Example We, beginning with me, pledge to be an example in work habits, community reputation, and family relations—to “be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach . . . manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect . . . have a good reputation with outsiders” (1 Tim. 3:2, 4, 7). Covenant Relationships We, beginning with me, pledge to covenant relationships, which foster accountability, networking, team building, and a kingdom mentality—to “obey leaders and submit to their authority . . . as men who must give an account” (Heb. 13:17). Kingdom Philosophy We, beginning with me, pledge to a philosophy of simplicity, sincerity, and sacrifice—so that “our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world . . . in the holiness and sincerity that are from God” (2 Cor. 1:12). Life of Faith We, beginning with me, pledge to a life of faith through clear vision, fearless trust, and a conquering mentality-to “fight the good fight of faith.” (1 Tim. 6:12) Author Larry Stockstill penned this prayer guide as a chapter in Praying for a Christ Awakening by Dr. David Ferguson.

How to Activate and Apply God's Word If ever there was a time when we needed to depend on the Word of God, it is now! It is the only standard of truth that exists. We need to embrace the Scriptures about protection, Scriptures about provision, Scriptures about having wisdom, Scriptures about healing. The purpose of this Bible Study is to enable you to ACTIVATE the Word of God in your life. There is a difference between APPLYING the Word and ACTIVATING the Word! ACTIVATING the Word is like walking into your bedroom and flipping the light switch on, which activates the electricity which is always available to your home, which activates the light. When you pick up a book to read in your room, you APPLY the light to read the book. The mighty Word of God can become ACTIVATED in your life, and you will never be the same again!!! It is such an exciting way to live, and your faith will rise to new heights as you see God’s Word come alive in a brand-new way. What about YOUR words? Do they all have meaning and power? Not hardly. But God’s words do. Have you ever created something by your words? One thing we can create with our words are problems! And boy, I surely have done that. I have wished to goodness that I could take those words back. All they accomplished was to cause trouble. Ouch! We can also bring comfort to others and to ourselves with our words. Words aren’t cheap. There are consequences to our words. They can build up or tear down. Have you ever said something you wished you hadn’t said? What were the consequences of doing that? Hurt feelings? Misunderstandings? Anger? Resentment? Words. They are so very important. Words are the way we communicate with each other; words are also the way we communicate with animals. Words are important. They can cause problems or alleviate them. They can bring comfort or pain. But think about God’s words: Genesis 1:1-29 – “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the water. And God said (God’s words), ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. Then God said (God’s words), ‘Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters ..’ so God separated the waters which were under the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse. Then God said (God’s words), ‘Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together in one place.’ God called the dry land earth and the gathering together of the waters He called Seas. Then God said, ‘Let the earth produce vegetation,’ and it was so. And God said, ‘Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night.’ Then God said, ‘Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures and let the birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens.’ So God created great sea creatures and everything that moves.. Then God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds..’ Then God said, ‘Let us make man (humans) in Our image, after Our likeness and let them have dominion over all the earth and all the living creatures.’” God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit were all present at that event. Not one word that God spoke was useless. Every word God spoke had a purpose. Every word God spoke had power to create. This is why the Word of God – our Bible – is so important. Every word in this book is of great value. God left this Book on earth so that we would know His thoughts, His ways and His truths. Every word was recorded by men from the inspiration of God Himself. Almighty Jehovah God had a purpose in this: That we might know His thoughts, His guidance and His truth. He gave us specific promises that we could appropriate. We are SO used to hearing and using the term, “God’s Word.” That can be a real hindrance to actually thinking about what we are saying. It’s like driving through your neighborhood: You pass the same things every day so that you don’t even see them after a while. But stop and think a minute about what we have just heard. God SPOKE and His words created universes, stars, suns, worlds. His word created them out of NOTHING. There was that much power in His spoken words. He said, “Light, BE!” And light blazed forth! The sun, the moon and millions of stars! Every time He spoke, something of great magnitude was created. Think of that: Every time He spoke, something of great magnitude was created. And after His final creation of Human Beings, HE SPOKE TO THEM, giving them specific directions to follow. And He visited with them in the cool of the day to fellowship with them! Imagine walking with the CREATOR GOD every day in the most beautiful place on the earth that God created! Oh, what divine fellowship! Think of the power in a Being Who can speak forth universes into existence! Think of the power in His words! And none of them were superfluous. All His words had meaning and power. All His Words were and are important. God’s words are never wasted, and none of His words are without power. Isaiah 55:11, “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from Heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth and make it bring forth and bud that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My Word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty without accomplishing the purpose for which it was sent.” Think of that! God said His Word would not return to Him without accomplishing the purpose it was sent out for. If God’s Word is full of power as He said, and it is, should we be so casual about it? How can we treat the Word casually? Many of us have been taught the Word of God in our churches since we were young, and we are grateful for that. Very grateful. But how many of us read it, hear it, and truly believe that it will do what it says? We certainly believe the Gospel message. As Christians, we certainly believe that whoever accepts Jesus as their Savior will be born again. That is a Given. But what about the rest of it? It seems to me that that is where we fall short. We have the knowledge of the Bible, we can quote it verbatim, but do we actually believe what it says, especially regarding God’s promises to us? I mean, REALLY expecting God to do what His Word says He will do? We know that the Bible says that God is not a man that he should lie. God cannot lie. His Word is Truth. This Scripture is makes an important point: “ This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” Joshua 1:8. How do you get to the place where you actually EXPECT God to fulfill His promises to you? How do you get there from here? First, ask God to give you the ability to allow His Word to become so real in you that you absolutely believe every promise He has given us. That requires a soft heart, as soil that has been plowed up to receive seed. I’m not saying that this is an easy process. It requires us to open our minds to the supernatural power of God. That sounds scary, but all that means is that we are open to God in the Person of the Holy Spirit to make this happen in us. The Holy Spirit is the Presence of God in the world. It is through God the Holy Spirit that we are born again, that we receive revelation from the Word of God, that we receive healing, that we are protected. Our God provides everything we need to enable us to allow the Holy Spirit to change our thinking and our understanding. This will bring us into a whole new realm of living! One effective way to have your mind renewed to the Word of God is to dwell on a Scripture verse. Read that Scripture out loud, read it several times a day every day. The reason that it is so important to read the Scriptures out loud is that we believe what WE hear ourselves say more than we believe what we hear others say. That’s why it is so important to only say positive things about yourself. Every time you think a thought over and over, that thought is making a deeper groove in a neural pathway in your brain. The more you say or think a thought, the deeper the groove becomes so that the brain begins to automatically think that thought. That is why negative words and thoughts about ourselves are so harmful to us. The opposite is true as well. The more you think positive things about yourself, the effect on you is helpful and positive. The same is true about Scripture: The more you quote a Scripture over and over out loud, the more it becomes ingrained in your mind so that it becomes second nature to think and/or say it That is when the Word of God begins to become alive TO you and IN you. Hebrews 4:12 “The Word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword.” What does that mean exactly? This Word is alive! It is a living thing. The Word of God is not passive. It is not just printed words on a page. According to this Scripture, God’s Word has the power to change things. These are God’s Words. These are power-filled words. God has guaranteed that His Word is the truth. No matter what you see or hear or think or feel, God’s Word is the truth of the situation. And we stand on what His Word says, no matter what. When you have your quiet time with the Lord every day, begin to include a time when you ask the Lord to make a Scripture come alive to you. God is such a good God. He loves you so, and wants so much to have His Word become ACTIVATED in you, so that every word that comes from His written Word will become life to you, and you will see results from praying and speaking His Word over any situation. WHAT PASSAGE WILL YOU CHOOSE TODAY?

NEGATIVE FEELINGS RENEW YOUR MIND WITH THE TRUTH Abandoned – Hebrews 13:5; 1 Cor 6:17; Mat 1:23; Psalm 139:7; Acts 17:27-28 Accused – 1 John 2:1; Job 16:19; 23:11; Jer. 50:34 Agony – Psalm 55:22; 68:19; 1 Peter 5:7; 2 Cor 1:4-5; Psalm 23:4 Alienated – One with God - John 17:22-23; John 14:20; 1 Cor 12:27 Alone – Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 139:7-16; Duet 31:6; Zeph 3:17 Angry – Romans 5:1; Eph 2:14; 1 Cor 13:3-8; Eph 4:31-32; Col 3:12-14; Gal 5:22-23 Annoyed – 2 Tim 2:24; 2 Peter 3:9 Anxious – Phil 4:6-7; 1 Peter 5:7; Eph 2:14 Attacked – My shield and protector – Psalm 91:4; Prov 30:5; John 17:11 Battered – Isaiah 43:1-2; John 16:33; Psalm 18:1-3 Belittled – Valued – Mat 6:26; Mat 13:44-45 Bereaved – Romans 8:37-39; 1 Thes 4:6 Betrayed – Faithful, true and trustworthy – Rev 19:11; 2 Tim 2:13; 1 Thes 5:24 Bitter – Forgave me all my sins – Col 2:13; 2 Cor 2:14; Eph 1:7; Col 1:14; Isaiah 55:7; Mic 7:18 (in) Bondage – 2 Cor 3:17; Gal 5:1 Cheated– Meets all my needs – Phil 4:19 Condemned – Romans 8:1 Confused – Mind of Christ – 1 Cor 2:16; Psalm 37:23; 73:24; 48:14; John 14:6; 1 Cor 2:12; 14:33 Controlled – Gal 1:10; 1 John 4:4 Crazy – Mind of Christ – 1 Cor 2:16; 2 Tim 1:7 KJV Criticized – Jude 24; James 1:5; Romans 8:1 Cursed – Gal 3:13-14 Damned – Romans 8:1; John 3:15; Romans 10:13 Deceived – John 1:14; 17; John 14:6 Defeated – 2 Cor 2:14 Degraded – Valued – Mat 6:26; Mat 13:44-45 Demeaned – Honored – Isaiah 43:4 Demoralized – Beloved child of God – 1 John 3:1-2; John 1:12 Depressed – Col 1:27; 1 Tim 1:1; Psalm 118:24 Deprived – Phil 4:19 Despair – Col 1:27 Different – Gen 1:26; Psalm 139:14; Eph 2:10 Dirty – Cleansed – 1 John 1:7,9; 1 Cor 6:11; 1 Cor 12:27, Hebrews 10:22 Disappointed – James 1:17; Romans 8:32; Luke 11:13 Disgraced – Honored – Isaiah 43:4 Disgusted – 2 Cor 2:14-15 Doubtful – Romans 12:3 Embarrassed – Roman 8:1 Empty – Col 2:9-10; Eph 5:18; John 17:13 Enraged – Col 3:12-14; Eph 4:31-32; Gal 5:22-23; 1 Cor 13:3-8 Failure – Phil 4:13; 2 Cor 2:14; 1 Cor 1:30; Gal 3:13-14; Romans 8:37 Foolish – 1 Cor 1:30 Frightened/Fearful – Isaiah 41:10; 1 John 5:18; Psalm 91:4-6; Hebrews 13:6; Prov 3:25; Gay – Gen 1:27 Helpless – Psalm 54:4; Romans 8:31; Heb 13:6; Psalm 46:1 Hopeless – Col 1:27; 1 Tim 1:1; Romans 5:3-5; Lam 3:24 Humiliated – Romans 8:1 Hurt – 1 Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:4-5 Ignorant – 1 Cor 1:30 Inadequate – 2 Cor 5:17-21; John 15:16; Eph 2:5-6 Incompetent – Mind of Christ – 1 Cor 2:16 Insecure – Established, anointed, sealed by God 2 Cor 1:21-22; Romans 8:35-39; Romans 8:1-2 Insignificant – significant – Mat 5:13-14; John 15:1, 5; John 15:16; 1 Cor 3:16; Eph 2:6; Eph 2:10 Insulted – Accepted – Luke 6:22-23; 1 Cor 13:5; Eph 4:32; Eph 1:4 Irresponsible – Phil 4:13; 1 Thess 4:11-12 Jealous – One in Christ – John 17:21 Left out – Bold access – Eph 2:18; 3:12; Citizen of heaven Phil 3:20 Lonely – Psa 63:1; Heb 13:5; Eze 34:11-15 Lost – Romans 10:13; Psalm 139:2-12 Lustful – Psalm 17:15; Romans 8:9; Psalm 36:8; Misunderstood – Psalm 139:1-4 Nasty – 1 John 1:7,9; 1 Cor 6:11; Heb 10:10 Not approved – 1 John 3:1; Psalm 5:12 Not cared for – 1 Peter 5:7 Not comforted – 2 Cor 1:4-5 Not nurtured – Phil 4:19; 84:11; Psa 91:4; Prov 30:5 Not loved – John 3:16; Isaiah 43:4; Gal 2:20b Not protected – Col 3:3; Psa 91:4; Prov 30:5 Not safe – Psa 4:8; Psa 61:3; Prov 18:10 Offended – Eph 4:31-32 Out of control – 2 Tim 1:7; Isaiah 33:6; yielded to God – Rom 6:13-14 Overwhelmed – My all-able, almighty God – 2 Cor 9:8; Eph 3:20; Rev 4:8, 19:6; Isaiah 9:6; John 16:33 Panicky – 2 Tim 1:7; Prov 3:25; Isaiah 41:10 Powerless – Dan 11:32; Psa 18:1; 59:9-10a; 59:17; Isa 12:2; Eph 1:19; Phil 4:13 Pressured – Gal 1:10; Gal 5:1; John 8:36; John 16:33 Put-down – Eph 2:6; Eph 2:10 Raped –Col 1:17; Rom 11:36; body washed with pure water - Heb 10:22b; Romans 8:37 Rejected – Romans 15:7; Eph 1:6 Repulsed – Hebrews 9:22 Resentful – Eph 4:31-32; Eph 1:7; Col 1:13-14; Mic 7:18 Ruined – Renewed – 2 Cor 4:16; Psa 23:3 Scorned – I am the apple of His eye – Deut 32:9-10; Psalm 31:16 Seduced – 1 Cor 6:19-20; Psalm 23:1-3 Selfish – Phil 2:3; Gal 2:20 Shattered – Complete in Christ – Col 2:10; Romans 8:37 Sickened – Hebrews 9:22 Smothered – Rom 8:11; Isa 12:3; Gen 2:7 Stupid – 1 Cor 2:16; 1 Cor 1:30; James 1:5 Suffocated – Rom 8:11; Isa 12:3; Gen 2:7 Tainted – Heb 10:22 Terrified – Heb 13:6; Psa 46:1; Psa 32:7; 1 John 4:18-19; Prov 3:25-26 Timid – 2 Tim 1:7; Isaiah 41:10; Hebrews 13:6; Prov 3:25-26 Tormented – Rom 5:1; Matt 18:35 Unaccepted – KJV Eph 1:6; Rom 15:7 Unhappy – Phil 4:11 Unloved – 1 John 3:1; Isaiah 43:1-4; Gal 2:20b Unsafe – I am a child of God and the evil one can not touch me – 1 John 3:1; 1 John 5:18; Psalm 4:8 Unprotected – 1 John 3:1; 1 John 5:18; Psa 91:4; Prov 30:5 Victimized – Gal 3:13-14 Violated – Romans 8:37 Weak – Psalm 27:1; Daniel 11:32 Whore – Col 3:12; Roman 1:7; 1 Cor 6:11 Worthless – 2 Cor 5:21

WHAT JESUS WAS DOING DURING HIS LAST WEEK ON EARTH I hope this gives you a deeper appreciation for the work of Christ and a motivation of our love for those around us. I will do this in the context of the events that occurred during the last days of Jesus on earth. THE WEEK BEFORE THE WEEK TWO CRITICAL EVENTS OCCURRED. 1. Jesus revealed His Father’s and His heart of compassion for a man who was born blind. 2. He raised Lazarus back to life which led directly to the crucifixion. 3. Jesus revealed His Father’s and His heart of compassion for a man who was born blind. John 9:1-6: 1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" 3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life….” 6 Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. 7 "Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing. Who would you rather have taking care of your family? The disciples who wanted to know, “Who sinned”? Or, Jesus who looked at him at compassion and restored his sight? If we are going to be moved with compassion instead of by judgment, we need to get in touch with the sufferings of Christ. Pastor at G-6: “How can I be a good comforter? I just don’t have much compassion.” Spend time with hurting people. Enter into the sufferings of Jesus and begin to get His heart for Lost and Hurting people. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings …” (Philippians 3:10). How many want to know Christ? How many want to know the power of His resurrection? How many want to share in the fellowship of his sufferings? AIDs victim in San Francisco The trembling man shaking hands with me after church was hiding something. He asked for an appointment and I agreed to meet with him. Later that afternoon we again shook hands and I noticed how wet and sweaty were his palms. He soon revealed that the AIDS virus was coursing through his body. Immediately, I stopped thinking about Him. All I could think of was me. These were the early days of the AIDS epidemic. The medical community was still sorting out how the virus was transmitted. Sex could do it; that was already proven. How about kissing? Or sweat? Those two avenues were still under investigation. I slowly spread the fingers of my right hand, the one now intermingling my sweat with his. As he poured out his heart, confessing his illicit sexual lifestyle, wondering if God could ever forgive him and bring restoration and healing to his body, I was strangely unmoved. All I could think about was getting to the restroom to wash my hand of his sweat. I held my fingers stiffly apart, not wanting to risk pressing any of his sweat up tight against my skin. I said perfunctorily the things a pastor is supposed to say as I planned how to end the session as soon as possible and avoid shaking his hand again as I made my way to the sink. I am not proud of my behavior. I had little or no compassion for him. I did not even really care “who sinned?” All I wanted to do was wash my hands. Have you ever entered an AIDs clinic? It is so painful. Babies, health care professionals, pregnant women, drug addicts, hemophiliacs, homosexuals. Went to pray, one of first questions is, “I wonder how they got it?” God said, “This is your John 9 encounter. You have been asking, ‘Who sinned?’ in contrast with a savior who would come through here and be moved with compassion for all the patients.” God began to tenderize my heart to care for people I had never cared for before. By the time I left the clinic I was broken by what was in my heart. Several years later I visited an AIDS clinic. I entered wondering as I walked the halls, “who sinned?” As far as I was concerned, most of these people didn’t have to be here. Their AIDS was a direct result of their sinful lifestyles. With each passing moment, my attitude changed. I saw some involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle. But, I also saw some hemophiliacs, some health care workers, some children and babies. As I saw the suffering I thought of John 9. Would I ever stop asking, “who sinned?” and finally be moved with compassion for the people. Suddenly, it did not matter, anymore, how they “got it.” My heart ached as I looked into the confused, hopeless, hurting eyes of men, women and children facing the fight of their lives. I began to sense how Christ was feeling about the suffering in their lives. He was grieving for them just as he grieved over the blind man in John 9. The whole experience was breaking my heart. I wanted to comfort the hurting people. On a deeper level, I wanted to comfort Christ as He grieved over the people He made whose lives were not turning out at all as He As we enter into what Paul called the “fellowship of His sufferings”, we feel what Jesus feels. We hurt for others just like Jesus hurts for them! “Entering into the fellowship of His sufferings” opens the door for true compassion. He raised Lazarus back to life which led directly to the crucifixion. John 11:1-44: Lazarus is dead. “Where were you? If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Approaches the tomb—sees all the weeping, knows it won’t last—miracle about to occur--Jesus wept. Can you feel that? Many of Mary’s friends put their faith in Jesus. Scared the church leaders! Pharisees and Sadducees: At that moment they put into place a plan to put Him to death. JOHN 11:49-50: Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, "You know nothing at all! 50 You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish." JOHN 11:51-53: He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, 52 and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one. 53 So from that day on they plotted to take his life. Less than two weeks before the crucifixion, perhaps on Monday before His triumphant Palm Sunday entry into Jerusalem, Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. When He finally arrived in Bethany Lazarus had been dead in the grave for the past four days (John 11). The main street of Bethany was lined with mourners as Jesus approached. Martha was the first to greet Him. “Lord,” she said, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Do you ever wonder just how she said that? I wonder if there were not some hurt and anger behind those words: “Where were you? You should have been here! We sent for you four days ago. Jerusalem is only thirty minutes away. What were you doing? Lazarus was one of your best friends. I know he will be resurrected one day; but we wish he were here now.” Have you ever wondered that her accosting of Jesus might well have hurt His sensitive heart? When Mary heard Jesus had come she came and knelt at His feet. She said essentially the same thing as Martha, but the Greek construction she used implied a little different approach. She may well have said something like this: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died; but, it’s all right, we will all see him again in the resurrection.” Then follows the shortest, easiest to remember verse in the Bible: “Jesus wept.” I used to wonder why He was crying. After all, He knew that Lazarus would soon be alive again and every one would be shouting and rejoicing. It was not until I closed my eyes and meditated on the scene that I saw Mary’s tears and the weeping of all their friends. Then I understood that the sensitive Savior was moved deeply with compassion. He wept. What does it do to your heart to realize that the shortest, easiest to remember verse in the Bible is about the God Who weeps?” Let’s meditate for a moment on the human hurts of Christ and see if we can enter into the fellowship of sharing His sufferings. THE LAST WEEK SUNDAY Palm Sunday, Triumphant entry into the Golden Gate in Jerusalem High point of ministry: Feelings of Jesus heart. Even rocks would cry out! Receiving praise and enjoying it. Sunday afternoon drove the Money changers out of the temple: extremely angry. Spent every night of last week at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus in Bethany just over the Mount of Olives from Jerusalem. MONDAY AND TUESDAY Sparring with the Pharisees and Sadducees Paying taxes to Caesar Who will marry whom in Heaven? The greatest commandment: Love God, others and self. Tuesday—late afternoon: Woes to the Pharisees “Shut the kingdom in men’s faces” “Travel over land and sea to make a convert and then make him twice the son of Hell that you are.” “You are like whitewashed tombs, clean on outside, filthy dirty on inside” Matthew 26:1-4: When Jesus had finished saying all these things, he said to his disciples, 2 "As you know, the Passover is two days away — and the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified." 3 Then the chief priests and the elders of the people assembled in the palace of the high priest, whose name was Caiaphas, 4 and they plotted to arrest Jesus in some sly way and kill him. WEDNESDAY NIGHT Mary anointing Jesus We know what He was thinking: “She is the only one in the room who has figured out that I am going to die. I have told these disciples for the last three years that I was going to Jerusalem to die and they still don’t get it. She is the only one close enough to read my Heart. Now she is anointing my body with perfume for burial while I am still alive and can enjoy it!” Judas, “What a waste!” See if you can feel this? “Leave her alone . . . she has anointed my body for burial.” Later on the cross, “What is that I smell? Can you sense the feeling and emotion. The next evening, less than one week before the cross, Jesus was enjoying dinner in the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Suddenly, Mary violated the room of male sanctuary, took a bottle of pure nard and anointed Jesus. I want you to imagine those two in your mind as Mary knelt again at Jesus’ feet. Picture Jesus however you like: home-spun robe; long-flowing, chestnut-colored hair, parted in the middle; olive-colored skin; sandals on His feet. Do you see the look of loving adoration on Mary’s face as she gazed intently up into His eyes? Now look at the expression on Jesus’ face. We know what He was thinking: “She is the only one in the room who has figured out that I am going to die. I have told these disciples for the last three years that I was going to Jerusalem to die and they still don’t get it. She is the only one close enough to read my Heart. Now she is anointing my body with perfume for burial while I am still alive and can enjoy it!” I have often thought that when I die some people will most likely send flowers as an expression of sorrow and love. But, I decided long ago that I would rather have one rose, right now, that I could smell and enjoy, than 10,000 after I am dead and gone. Wouldn’t you? Mary brought Him roses while He was still alive and could enjoy them Suddenly, sinisterly, Judas snarled, “Jesus, tell her to stop! She is wasting that perfume on you!” Then all the other disciples joined in criticizing her! Surely, these words stung Him deeply! I used to think He spoke the next sentence with frustration and anger. But now, I think not. I believe He was filled with sorrow as He said, “Oh, Judas. Did you have to spoil it? I was really enjoying this moment. She is the only one who has figured out what is going on. She is anointing my body for burial while I am still alive and can enjoy it. What she has done will be spoken as a memorial to her until I come again.” THURSDAY NIGHT The fumble in the Upper Room Classic passage on comfort: “Let not your heart be troubled, I go to prepare a place for you that you may be with me always.” Thomas replies, “We don’t know where you are going; how can we get there?” You don’t think that hurt. Phillip says, “Yeah! We don’t even know who you are! Show us the Father and we will be satisfied.” Philip, have I been so long with you and you don’t even know Who I am!” See if you can feel this pain. He was making His final ministry handoff before the cross and they are fumbling the ball on the goal line. What if they failed to carry on the Work? Jesus: “If you have seen me you have seen the Father.” The next night He was sharing His last words with the Disciples. He pronounced that classic passage on comfort from John 14:1-6: “Let not your hearts be troubled, you believe in God, believe also in me…. I go to prepare a place for you that you may be with me always. You know where I am going and you know how to get there.” Thomas fearfully replied, “No! We don’t know where you are going, and we don’t know how to get there.” Imagine how much that must have hurt. Immediately Philip spoke in confusion, “Yeah, we don’t even know who you are!” “Philip, have you been so long with me and you still don’t know who I am! (I wonder to how many Christians Christ might say those same words today?) Don’t miss this, men, if you have seen me you have seen the Father!” The Lord’s supper This is my body...blood...Then, I imagine few if any in this room know what happened next! Luke recorded the moment: “An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest” (Luke 9:46). He was giving His life away for the world and all they could think about was which one of them was the greatest. Think how that hurt! The Garden of Gethsemane He confessed to His men, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Watch and pray” (Matthew 26:38). Did you just read those words? Or did you stop to consider how He said what He said? He was getting ready to die. He was mourning and grieving: “I am about to die.” Do you now hear the pain and agony? What He wanted was for His men to put their arms around Him and comfort Him. But, they did not do it. Stay here and pray with me.” Then he returned to the disciples and found them sleeping. “Can you not pray with me one hour?” That is a hurting savior. He experienced the pain of rejection. They’re all asleep. So He returned to pray for another hour. This time the intensity was so powerful that the sweat capillaries in His forehead burst and He sweated drops of blood from His forehead. “Father, is there any other way we can do this?” He pleaded. “Nevertheless, Your will be done.” Fortunately, God sent angels to comfort Him. He returned to discover them sleeping once again: “Wake up! The betrayer is at hand.” Sure enough Judas was guiding the band of soldiers to arrest Him. Judas walked directly to Jesus and kissed Him. Listen to the next line: “Must you betray me with a kiss?” Do you hear the pain in His voice? Judas could have pointed, or called out Jesus’ name. Instead he kissed him. By the way, this was no ordinary kiss. The Greek word used is the one reserved for a passionate lovers kiss. FRIDAY Shortly thereafter the trials, mockings, beatings and crown of thorns commenced. He held His hands still as the nails penetrated His flesh. Can you imagine the sorrow as He was put to death by the very men He had created? Can you imagine His feelings of rejection: “He came unto His own and His own received Him not” (John 1:10-12). Then, the cross slammed down into place. Now listen to Him—enter further into the fellowship of His sufferings. He is nailed to the cross: He looks down to see the soldiers gambling for His robe and he prays, Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” To the thief: “Surely, today, you will be with me in Paradise.” Then He looked down and saw His mother whom He loved: ‘Woman, behold your son.” Then he said to John, the only disciple who stuck around, “John, behold your mother—take care of her for me.” Darkness covers the earth: “My God, My, God, why have you forsaken me?” “I thirst.” He cried with a loud voice: “It is finished.” “Into your hands I commit my spirit.” Explain video: bridge, child looking for dad, falls into machinery. Dad’s choice Two key things going on that last week. Sacrificing His life for the sins of the world. John 10:11: "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” 2. Let’s move back into the realm of compassion. Don’t you like to imagine that if you were in the Garden that night with Jesus you would have responded differently than the Disciples did? Can you imagine that you might have put your arms around Jesus and comforted Him in His hurts? Can you see yourself weeping with Him as He wept and praying for Him as He longed for you to hold Him up in prayer? Wouldn’t you like to minister to the needs of a hurting Savior? Sure you would. You might say, “Well, I can’t do that. That was a long time ago—and I wasn’t there.” Yes, you can. Jesus said in Matthew 25:34-40: Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, … [enter] the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?” The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

I Will Answer The Heavens, And They Shall Answer The Earth 15 ‘And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the Sabbath, from the day that you brought the sheaf of the wave offering: seven Sabbaths shall be completed. 16 Count fifty days to the day after the seventh Sabbath; then you shall offer a new grain offering to the Lord.[2] This is our Scripture for dating Shavuot – the Feast of Weeks – one of the three Biblical pilgrimage festivals. The Torah doesn’t provide a specific date for this Festival, linking its date directly to that of Passover. The word Shavuot means “weeks” and the festival of Shavuot marks the completion of the seven-week counting period between Passover and Shavuot. Today, Shavuot is held on the 6th of Sivan, fifty days after the second day of Passover. It is one of the three major annual feasts in the Biblical calendar. The Torah readings for this holiday include Exodus 19-20: Moshe’s ascent of Mount Sinai, and the Ten Commandments. Why? Not many Christians are aware of the fact that in Jewish tradition, Shavuot came to be understood as commemorating the giving of the Torah to Moses on Mount Sinai. Although there is no an explicit reference to that in the Torah, in Exodus 19:1 we read that the Israelites came to the foot of Mount Sinai “in the third month”. The third month after the Exodus is Sivan; since this was also the month of Shavuot, the rabbis deduced that God gave the Torah on Shavuot. Thus, Shavuot became associated with the giving of the Torah, and gradually in Jewish tradition it became the Festival of the Giving of the Torah. The Day of Revelation: New Testament Perspective You probably know that Shavuot and Pentecost are two different names for the same Festival. The Bible says: “count fifty days”, which is why, in the New Testament, the name for the holiday is usually translated as “Pentecost”. Therefore, it is against the background of Shavuot that the events of the first two chapters of the book of Acts must be seen. For instance, when in Acts 1:4 Jesus commanded his disciples not to “depart from Jerusalem,” we would better understand this command if we remember that Shavuot is one of the three Biblical pilgrimage festivals when all the Jews were supposed to be in Jerusalem: “Three times a year all your males shall appear before the Lord your God at the place that he will choose: at the festival of unleavened bread, at the festival of weeks, and at the festival of booths.”[3] And then we read in Acts 2 that, “when the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. 2 And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. 3 Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them.”[4] If we remember that, by the first century, Shavuot was already associated with the giving of the Torah to Moses on Mount Sinai, we would understand that it was certainly no coincidence that the descent of the Spirit is described on the day of Pentecost. Moreover, we would be able to see all these beautiful and profound parallels between God giving His Word and God giving His Spirit. Luke consciously and intentionally describes the events of Acts 2 in terms of a “second Sinai”. The “noise like a violent wind” in Acts 2 certainly echoes the thundering from Exodus 20:18, and the fire of Acts parallels the fire of Exodus. In Midrash Exodus Rabbah , we have this commentary on Exodus 20: “One voice was split into seven and they were divided into seventy languages.”[5] Hillary Le Cornu and Joseph Shulam quote an even more striking sentence from a Midrash: “The voice went out and was divided into seven voices and from seven voices into seventy tongues, so that all the nations will hear. And every nation heard the voice in its own tongue and was amazed.”[6] Doesn’t that sound almost like a quotation from the Book of Acts: “And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed.” Thus, on both occasions, Shavuot becomes the day when Heaven is opened and God Himself claims His people. Jesus’ command to the Apostles to wait in Jerusalem (in Acts1:4) might also be understood as a hint that, as His Word was given on Shavuot, His Spirit will also be given on Shavuot. The Day of Revelation: The Hidden Messiah is revealed! We can safely say now that revelation is the main theme of Shavuot , both in the Jewish and in the New Testament tradition . Not many are aware, however, of the additional revelation that happened on that day. Those of my readers who read my book about the Hidden Messiah[7] might recall that it is here, in the second chapter of the Book of Acts, that the messianic status of Jesus is revealed publicly for the first time. The contrast with His hiddenness in the gospels is dramatic. No words can better describe this abrupt change in the atmosphere from Luke’s Gospel to Acts, than the verse from Luke himself: “What you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops”. As against the hidden/concealed/only “in the ear” revealed secret of the messianic identity of Jesus in the Gospel, here in Acts 2, on the Day of Pentecost, we hear an open proclamation of his Messiahship—for the very first time. In his first public speech, Peter proclaims loudly (almost literally ‘on the housetops’ ), that Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah: “Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.” The secret, esoteric knowledge of the Gospel all of a sudden becomes a widely broadcast message in Acts; the secret of Jesus’ messiahship is revealed – and it also happens on Shavuot, along with two other profound events.

Introduction Welcome to the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge! It didn’t take many weeks of marriage for me to learn that my attitudes and words have a profound effect on my husband. I have the ability to make Robert feel encouraged and cherished. But I also have the ability—more than any other person in his life—to deflate and discourage him. We all need honest input from those who know us best and can help us see blind spots we may be oblivious to. But our ability to give humble, helpful critique and have it be well-received is in direct proportion to the effort we make to give the gift of encouragement. Knowing how important (and neglected) this gift is in many marriages, I have often urged wives to take the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. Thousands of women have written to share with me how this simple exercise changed their heart toward their husband. Many have also shared how it changed their husband’s heart toward them. The challenge has two parts: 1. For the next thirty days, don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. 2. Each day, for the next thirty days, tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Starting tomorrow, for the next thirty days, you’ll receive an email with a Scripture verse, a short devotional from one of our Revive Our Hearts staff members or bloggers, and reflection questions—all designed to help you plant seeds of grace and encouragement in your relationship with your husband. Each day will also include a response from someone who took this challenge and saw the difference it made in her life and marriage. On a scale of one to ten, your marriage may be at a negative two right now. Or maybe things are going well but there’s room for improvement (as there always is!). This little challenge is probably not going to give your relationship an overhaul overnight. But if you’ll stick with it for the next thirty days, I believe it will change you. And in time, as you water the soil of your husband’s heart with affirmation and appreciation, you may see him change as well. Either way, you can’t go wrong. May the Lord encourage you as you encourage your man! Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth Day 1: Voice Your Gratitude By Mindy Kroesche Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. —Proverbs 31:11–12 Devotional I’ll never forget the day my husband proposed. I was on cloud nine because this man I loved so much had just asked me to be his wife! Now, twenty years later, there are still days I’m amazed I get to do life with him. But there are also moments of frustration, annoyance, or taking him for granted. With over 6.6 billion people on our planet, have you ever considered the wonder of two people choosing to join their lives together in marriage? Out of all the women in the world, your husband chose to commit himself to you. He found you attractive as a person and appreciated you. Have you ever thanked him for it? Though circumstances in your marriage may have changed since the day you said, “I do,” it’s important to let your husband know you’re glad God brought you together and you want to be a blessing to him. Make sure he knows he can trust you to be in his corner and support him—no matter what. Prayer Heavenly Father, I want to do good to my husband by encouraging him for the next thirty days. Soften my heart toward him, and show me how to voice my gratitude better. Teach me how to be in his corner so I can be his biggest supporter. A Praise Story “I’m seeing my husband light up when I’m specifically positive about his gifts and services. I’m feeling more harmony—tremendously so—in our home. I’m even surprised to hear my husband verbally encourage me more. It’s contagious!” Reflect and Respond • Do you remember how you felt when your husband first proposed? How can you recapture that feeling as you go through the day-to-day of marriage? • What are some reasons you’re thankful for your husband? How can you express that gratitude to him today? • How can you specifically show your husband you support him? Go Deeper One of the best opportunities to express gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? What’s one way you can assure him of your love at the start of the day? Want more ideas on how to support your husband? Listen to the Revive Our Hearts podcast “Affirm and Support” while you’re driving in the car today! Day 2: Notice the Ways He Serves By Betsy Gómez Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Through love serve one another. —Galatians 5:13 Devotional One of the sinful tendencies of our hearts is to lack gratitude. If we neglect to appreciate the evidence of grace around us (and it becomes a habit), we slowly start to take everything for granted. One area where I need to be diligent in gratitude is in appreciating my husband’s service to our family. I can quickly get used to his involvement in housework or with our children and then lose the opportunity to express how much I value his servant’s heart. Don’t let ingratitude blind you to your husband’s acts of service. Be on the lookout today for the small ways he shows his love for you and your family. Thank him and let him know how valuable his service is to you. Prayer Lord Jesus, thank You for my husband. Give me the humility that’s needed to notice evidence of Your grace in his life. Open my eyes to the many ways he serves our family and others, and give me the joy of celebrating them. I pray with hope, knowing that You are the greatest servant. A Praise Story “I just started the challenge three days ago, and already I’m seeing change—in both my husband and me! I told my husband last night that this challenge has helped me recognize that he had a servant’s heart and that I was sorry for not noticing on my own. His face lit up and a smile came across his face!” Reflect and Respond • Do you frequently remind your husband of undone tasks around the house? If so, how can you point to ways he serves your family instead? • How does finding your satisfaction in Jesus alone lead you to be grateful toward others? • How can you make it a habit to end your day with gratitude for your husband? Go Deeper Think of ways you could thank your husband for his servant’s heart. If you have children, involve them in this exercise and make gratitude a family core value. Write him a note or thank him in public, but most of all, ask the Lord to give you a grateful heart. Get inspired to recognize your husband’s service to your family (before it’s too late!) through the True Woman blog post, “What I Learned About Marriage by Losing My Husband.” Day 3: Cultivate Patience toward Your Husband By Heidi Jo Fulk Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. —Proverbs 16:32 Devotional Patience is better than power? Yes. Patience—waiting with a good attitude or refraining from criticizing—can produce more desirable results and edify your husband in ways that exerting power never could. You can cultivate patience with your husband by allowing the Holy Spirit to control your reactions and emotions in the midst of a frustrating, annoying, or tedious situation. That Holy Spirit control is necessary for your heart, mind, and mouth. For the momentary patience you need and the difficult, long-term waiting that you may be enduring, patience can act as a soothing salve. So, when your eyes want to bulge from seeing your husband do something “the wrong way” or you want to give up on waiting for a change, choose patience instead. Prayer Lord, Your divine power gives us everything we need for life and godliness, including patience. I surrender my selfish thoughts and desires to You. In their place, I ask that the Holy Spirit would take control of my mind, heart, and mouth so that I might have the patience and endurance I need with my husband. Build patience in me so that I might build up my husband. A Praise Story “Before this challenge, my husband was cold, distant and barely talking to me. I didn’t want to talk to him, let alone encourage him, and I couldn’t find anything about him to encourage. Through this challenge and prayer, I have seen my husband’s attitude change toward me drastically. He now does little things for me and around the house that he would rarely do, and he is more open to me. Our relationship has grown so much that it has helped me to see the gem I have in my husband and to appreciate him even more.” Reflect and Respond • How can you make it a habit to assume the best of your husband before jumping to conclusions? • What small act of patience can you do today that might grow your patience for more difficult circumstances? Go Deeper Adjust your perspective and expectations. Your way and your desires are not ultimate; God’s are. Seek to know more of Him so that your mind and heart will be shaped by Him. Only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart. You can learn more about cultivating patience toward your husband in this True Woman blog post, “Learn to Put Up with a Few Things.” Day 4: Praise Your Husband’s Work By Monica Hall Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands. —Ephesians 4:28 Devotional During our eighteen-plus years of marriage, my husband has worked as a youth pastor, a UPS package handler, a church planter, an exterminator, a pastor, a substitute teacher, and other smaller jobs, many times working two or three of them at once. Maybe you can relate to this, or maybe your husband has worked the same job since he entered the workforce. Maybe you just wish your husband could find a job, any job. Regardless of our situations, we must look for ways to encourage our husbands in their work. God has uniquely designed men to bear His image. They seem to be hardwired with a strong, inherent drive to provide. One of the most discouraging things a wife can do is to belittle her husband in this area that’s right at the core of his masculinity. Complaining about his hours or his paycheck or nagging him to do more or better will drag him down. Instead, look for ways to build him up. Thank him for the work he does. If he’s unemployed, praise the qualities you see in him that make him a good worker. Let him know you respect him for working hard in any context that you see it. Prayer Jesus, thank You for the way You’ve shaped and gifted my husband for the work he is able to do. Help me to support his work and praise him specifically for what he does. Plant in him a vision for how his gifts will build Your kingdom and serve others. Impress upon him the desire to be faithful with his gifts and use them fully. Protect him from discouragement, stress, dishonesty, and sluggishness so that he might bring praise to Your name. A Praise Story “I am married to an unbeliever, and at first it was hard for me to think of things I could encourage and appreciate about him. I asked God to let me see my husband with His eyes and, oh, did He! I thank my husband for the little things he does do, like take out the trash, grabbing something from the store on the way home, etc. Now I am able to see the important things he does for me, which makes me admire him even more. Even if your encouragement for your husband starts small, God can turn it to something more than you can ever imagine or think!” Reflect and Respond • When is the last time you thanked your husband for doing his job and providing for the family? • What are some qualities you see in your husband that make him a good worker? For example, is he persistent? Honest? Dependable? Creative? Responsible? Go Deeper Make it a point to thank your husband for his work. If this is an area of frustration in your marriage, it may be difficult to find ways to encourage your husband. Ask the Lord to show you specific qualities in your husband that you can honestly praise. For more help, check out the Revive Our Hearts podcast “Encouraging Men to Provide and Protect.” Day 5: What’s on Your Tongue? By Sheila Dougal Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. —Ephesians 4:29 Devotional Whether your husband is following hard after Jesus or is an unbeliever, it can be easy to see his sin and weakness. And it’s easy in your own sin and weakness to use your words to tear Him down. But Christ would have you catch those sinful tendencies before they go from thoughts to words . Ask the Holy Spirit to put a guard on your tongue. Even when it’s good and right to draw attention to sin or error in your husband’s life, you can choose words that come from a humble heart and fit the situation to build him up. Choose to show him the same grace you want him to show you. However, showing grace doesn’t mean that you coddle or ignore sin; instead it is building up the hearer even when it has to expose a grievance. Notice today the thoughts that come to mind about your husband. Before you let words come out of your mouth, consider whether what you want to say comes from a sinful desire to rule over him or from a desire to build him up. Deal with your own sin of pride first. Ask God for humility to speak with your husband about what’s concerning you and for wisdom to find fitting words to build him up. Prayer Father, I confess that I’ve torn down my husband with my words. I ask for Your forgiveness. Help me to look for fitting times to speak words that bring grace to my husband’s ears. Help me not to ignore or coddle his sin but to deal with my own sin first so I can speak with my husband in humility and grace in a way that builds him up. A Praise Story “On Day 17, my husband surprised me with this statement. ‘Honey, I’ve been a hard man and I don’t need to be like that to you. I know nobody would stay with me, except you. Will you forgive me?’ Wow! I was so touched by his sincerity and love. Not only has this challenge changed my husband, but it has changed me, too. It helps me to be mindful of how I should act toward him and be careful of what I say.” Reflection Questions • What bothers you the most about your husband? • Is it really sin in him that bothers you or just idiosyncrasies or differences of opinion? • How do you want your husband to approach you about your own sin? How can you model that approach? Go Deeper How are things going so far in the challenge? Even if you’re not seeing changes, don’t give up! Keep looking for ways to encourage your husband and praying that the Lord will do “abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Eph. 3:20). Spend some time today focusing on the words you use with your husband. If you tend to use your words to tear him down, focus on confessing this sin to God before you say a word. Only then should you go to your husband. First tell him the good you see in him. Then, in the right time with words of grace, address your concerns in such a way that your husband knows you’re on his side. Want more wisdom in knowing what (and what not) to say? Check out this Revive Our Hearts podcast on the power of words. Day 6: Celebrate His Creativity By Erin Davis Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. —1 Corinthians 10:31 Devotional My husband is a true craftsman. He is energized by a fine hide of leather or a perfect plank of wood. His mind is always working ten steps ahead, considering what he will build next. I admire this about him, but I admit I haven’t always. He is a man of many hobbies and talents; I tend to be more of a one-trick pony. He values creative expression, an often messy and open-ended process; I tend to prioritize systematically ticking items off my to-do list. He likes things done right; I just want them to get done. But I’ve learned to adore my husband’s creative side because I see it as a way my husband bears the image of God. God is infinitely creative. He paints sunrises and sunsets in thousands of shades of color. He made over 10,000 species of birds. He carved giant mountains out of stone and sparkling diamonds out of carbon. No doubt the process of creation is never-ending and sometimes messy, yet aren’t we grateful we love and serve a creative God? Be on the lookout for your husband’s creative side. Does he carve, build, or paint? Does he tinker on cars or strum a guitar? Let him know that you notice and appreciate the ways he is different than you in this area, and consider: Does your husband’s creative side have something to teach you about the character of God? Prayer Heavenly Father, show me how You have wired my husband to reflect Your creative heart. Teach me to be an encouragement as he uses his gifts and talents to solve problems, serve others, and advance the kingdom. Thank You for revealing Your creativity through my husband for Your glory! A Praise Story “This challenge has been a blessing, not just in my marriage but for me on a personal level. My husband has been so much more in tune and loving to me. At first I was not going to do the challenge, but it has opened up my awareness of my responsibility as a wife to always esteem and say good things to and about my husband. It has changed the atmosphere in my home.” Reflect and Respond • In what ways is your husband creative? • Do you tend to encourage or discourage your husband’s creative tendencies? Go Deeper Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of being negative, determine to be positive. Make his day by publicly praising his accomplishments while he is listening. Learn more about the creativity of God in this R evive Our Hearts program, “None Like Him, with Jen Wilkin.” Day 7: United on the Financial Front By Kelly Needham Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse I walk in the way of righteousness, in the paths of justice, granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries. —Proverbs 8:20–21 Devotional Financial stress is often an occasion for disunity and distrust in our marriages. There are many fears and worries attached to money—or the lack of it—so it can become a very heated and hurtful topic. This challenge isn’t about strengthening our finances, however, but our marriages. And sometimes to do the latter, we need to set aside our goals for the former. I’m not advocating that you cast aside all wisdom regarding your finances. But I am asking: Are you willing to encourage your husband to lead in this area, even if it means he makes some mistakes or doesn’t value the things you think he should? Today, tell your husband you trust his leadership in your finances. Look for ways to praise him in this area. Is he frugal? Does he live within a budget? Is he generous? Does he make wise investments? Is he thinking about the future? Tell him you appreciate these qualities and, if you need to, apologize for any negative comments you’ve made. If he’s weak in this area, pray for him and look for ways to be helpful, not manipulative. Organize files or bills, and ask him how you can help. Prayer Father, give me the strength to trust and submit to my husband, knowing ultimately You will take care of our family. Teach me to thank, encourage, and help my husband rather than criticize, complain, and hinder. Make us united in our financial decisions, even if it means You need to change me first. Bless my husband with a wise heart that longs to honor You with everything we own. A Praise Story “There were a couple of things I had wanted my husband to do for months before I started the challenge. One was to cut down on video games. The other was to handle a problem with our finances. I didn’t want to nag, so I decided to let them go until the challenge was over. Well, God definitely showed up! On Day 1, my husband decided to cut out all video games and put his PlayStation away. He hasn’t played video games in over a month. And this week, right after the challenge ended, he has taken the initiative to work out our financial situation on his own, which is a huge burden lifted off me. Praise God!” Reflect and Respond • Do you support or hinder your family’s financial stability? • Are any of your financial disagreements rooted in personal preference? If so, how can you set aside your preferences and encourage your husband to lead? Go Deeper Whether your husband is strong or weak in financial matters, you can strengthen your financial front by encouraging him in what he does well and giving him grace where he’s weak. Ask how you can best help him in this area. Decide today not to respond with criticism and despair the next time you face a disagreement but rather with grace and hope. You can get more practical ideas for this topic through the Revive Our Hearts series, “Financial Wisdom for God’s Glory with Jan Thompson.” Day 8: Planting Faithfulness By Monica Hall Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse But a faithful man who can find? —Proverbs 20:6 Devotional Thousands of years ago, the writer of Proverbs 20 acknowledged faithfulness as a rare quality, and it’s no different now. Our culture excuses and even encourages unfaithfulness. Many times, a man may feel like he’s fighting a lonely battle to remain faithful to his marriage, his Lord, and his commitments in general. As a wife, you can plant seeds of faithfulness in the heart of your husband. You can be his cheerleader to keep fighting and not give up. You can be a place of grace for him to turn when he is struggling against temptation. You can gently speak Truth to him when he is discouraged. And if he stumbles, you can receive him with mercy and forgiveness when he repents. You may be reading this with a heart broken by your husband’s unfaithfulness. If so, please seek out godly counsel to help you discern how to respond biblically. And trust that even in your darkest pain, God remains faithful and true. Another important way to encourage your husband to faithfulness is to remain faithful yourself. May you rest on the grace of Christ to walk in faithfulness to Him and to your husband. Prayer Lord Jesus, cultivate within my husband a faithful heart, one that longs to beat with integrity and flow with sacrificial love. Show me how I can plant seeds of faithfulness through my actions and attitudes toward my husband, and help me to wait on Your harvest in his heart. A Praise Story “Before this challenge, we had a ‘rocky’ marriage; it was really bad. There was yelling and name-calling and we constantly fought over stupid, small stuff. In just two days, I see us rekindling the relationship we had before all of the garbage we allowed between us.” Reflect and Respond • In what ways do you see faithfulness evident in your husband? • Do you exhibit faithfulness in your own life? Are you a woman of your word? Go Deeper Start watching for evidence of faithfulness in your husband, and point them out specifically when you find them. Let him know how much you appreciate his integrity and faithfulness. Write him a letter thanking him for his faithfulness to you in the midst of an unfaithful culture. Need some encouragement for your own faithfulness today? Take a listen to this Revive Our Hearts program, “A Commitment to Permanence.” Day 9: Take Time to Listen By Betsy Gómez Your Challenge : • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Be quick to hear, slow to speak. —James 1:19 Devotional When my husband took a class in biblical counseling, one of his assignments was for us to attend a counseling session with his teacher. The purpose was for him to be on the counselee side and learn from the process. Everything went well . . . until the end. At that moment, the counselor looked me in the eye and said, “Have you noticed you don’t let this man speak?” I froze, and my husband said (with the best of intentions), “But I don’t even realize it.” The counselor replied, “That’s the problem!” In that moment I realized I was not being intentional in cultivating silence as a demonstration of love toward my husband. Something that seemed very simple required genuine repentance, because a chatty mouth can be evidence of a proud heart. Now every day is a new opportunity to love my husband through silence with a heart that is ready to listen. On this day, ask the Lord to show you if there is any trace of sin for which you need to repent. Surrender your desire to speak, and give your silence and attention to your husband as an expression of your love for him. Prayer Lord Jesus, open my ears to truly hear my husband. Teach me to patiently pursue his heart by asking probing questions. Awaken my curiosity for all the unspoken treasures hidden in his heart and soul. Help me to honor what he shares with me and never use it as ammunition against him. A Praise Story “This challenge has been a blessing and opened both my eyes and my heart in areas of my marriage where there was huge room for improvement. It wasn’t all smooth sailing and was very challenging on many days, as I’m just so bossy! There’s a reason why I have two ears and only one mouth, so I’m waiting and listening before I speak and giving the Holy Spirit a chance to catch up with my runaway mouth.” Reflect and Respond • Ask your husband about something he is interested in and really listen to his answers. • Ask him about ways you could serve him better. (Don’t try to apologize or justify yourself; just listen.) Go Deeper Give your husband the gift of your attention and silence. Be careful not to bombard him with a lot of questions in order to make him speak. Just be diligent in expressing your interest and love. Be intentional in letting him respond first in social environments and avoid contradicting him in public. Remember that your words don’t prove your worth. Want to improve your listening skills? Get words of wisdom from Mary Kassian in this Revive Our Hearts program on listening. Day 10: Remember: You Chose Him By Mindy Kroesche Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful. —Song of Solomon 1:16 Devotional One of the things that first drew me to my husband was his sense of humor. I appreciated how he could laugh at himself and how we often found the same jokes funny. I also noticed early on his love and respect for his family and his desire to honor God with his words and actions. These things are all still true of my husband. But twenty years into marriage, I don’t voice my appreciation as much as I did in the early days. When was the last time I told him how much I appreciated his devotion to the Lord? Honestly, I don’t remember. Whether it’s about the characteristics that first drew us to these men or things we’ve grown to appreciate over time, we need to say we appreciate them out loud. Our husbands need to know we value and love them. They need to realize we think they’re special and want to pursue a deeper relationship with them. Today, ask yourself, What do I appreciate about my husband? How can I show him my admiration? Then take the time to tell him! Prayer Jesus, I confess that it’s often easier to criticize than admire. Please remind me of the reasons why I choose my husband in the first place and point out characteristics that I’ve been blind to. Help me speak words of admiration and renew in me a deep, passionate love for my husband. A Praise Story “God used this challenge to transform my husband’s and my relationship. Each day was extremely helpful. However, on Day 10 the Lord really spoke to me. As I did the ‘Going Deeper’ exercise, the Lord showed me that I was focusing so much on my husband’s imperfections that I forgot what God originally intended him to be: a wonderful, generous gift. I had been taking this gift for granted and destroying our marriage in the process. Since then, I can’t believe how much our marriage has turned around. Not only is my husband feeling more loved and appreciated, but deep in my heart I feel love and appreciation toward him, too.” Reflect and Respond • What are some characteristics of your husband that drew you to him before you were married? • What are three things you appreciate about your husband right now? • What is one practical way you can show your husband appreciation and admiration? Go Deeper Think about the things that first drew you to your husband. Was it his sense of humor? His kind eyes? His love for the Lord? Then write him a love letter telling him all the things you appreciate and admire about him, and leave it on his pillow, on the breakfast table, or somewhere else he’ll be sure to find it. Need more inspiration in this area? Check out this True Woman blog post, “10 Ways to Love Your Husband Well.” Day 11: The Power of Respect By Leslie Bennett Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. —Ephesians 5:22 Devotional Some surprises are delightful; some just aren’t. Out of the blue, my predictable husband threw a monkey wrench into our plan for retirement. We’d recently downsized our home when he caught me off-guard by suggesting we move, yet again, to another town 100 miles away. Shocked and hurt, I refused to listen to his dream as the prospect of another move grew into a bone of contention in our marriage. After months of stubbornly resisting his leadership, the Lord reminded me of the truth of Ephesians 5:22: Resistance to my husband is the same as resistance to Him. Part of showing respect to our husbands includes submitting to his authority: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Eph. 5:23). To submit to our husband’s leadership when we agree is a joyful task; when we prefer another way or believe a different way is wiser, it’s tough. But look at it through the lens of the gospel. It’s a glorious opportunity to reflect the way Jesus the Son submitted to God His Father. A wife showcases the heart of Jesus—His love, sacrifice, and humility—when she willingly respects her husband. Prayer Father, forgive me for the times when I subverted your pattern for marriage by disrespecting my husband. Lord, I need Your help to honor him as a way of honoring You. Give me the humility of Christ, who bowed His head to the Father. Transform our marriage into a vibrant picture of the gospel—Your relationship with Your Bride, the Church. A Praise Story “Praying for my husband has taken my marriage to another realm of contentment. We had been married for three years and were miserable. We were both Christians coming into our marriage, but were both weak in having daily quiet times. I started to resent him because he was supposed to be the spiritual leader of our house. As I prayed over him and tried to encourage him more, he started to grow and get a desire to be in the Word. So much so, he had felt my prayers, and not knowing I was doing this challenge, he thanked me for praying for him. I honestly believe this saved our marriage.” Reflect and Respond • Make a list of characteristics you admire about your husband. • Find opportunities to verbally affirm these positive traits to him. • Ask God to reveal any areas that you’re resisting your husband’s leadership, then seek forgiveness—first from God then from your husband. Go Deeper Take time today to listen to your husband and affirm his leadership. Seek his input on decisions and challenges you’re facing. Let him know you respect his opinions and welcome his wisdom, support, and love as your beloved partner. Take a bold step—the next time you’re in public with your husband, find something to praise him for while people are listening. Learn more about the power of respecting your husband through the Revive Our Hearts series, “Love and Respect, with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.” Day 12: It’s Time for a Heart Check! By Mindy Kroesche Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. — Ephesians 4:2 Devotional Raise your hand if you’ve ever started a new exercise program and subconsciously expected to see results within just a few days. (Or maybe after a single workout.) As I stretch my hand high into the sky, I realize it makes no sense. I know in my head that true change is going to take a while, and yet I somehow expect to see instant results. Maybe you’re in the same place today in this thirty-day challenge. Are you finding it difficult to encourage your husband? Has it been hard to check criticism and replace it with words of appreciation? Maybe you’re thinking, I’ve poured all this energy into my marriage, and things haven’t changed a bit! Let’s take today to do a heart check! You may be doing everything exactly right, but the problem could lie within your own expectations. Just like I secretly hope that the scale will plummet after I get done with my spinning class, you may be expecting too much too soon. So, spend some time in prayer, asking God to show you if you have any unrealistic (or even unreasonable) expectations of your husband. And most importantly, don’t give up, for “at just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing” (Gal. 6:9 NLT). Prayer Lord, search my heart for any ways I’ve been expecting too much from my husband. Help me to come to You with my unmet needs, and teach me to trust You to work in my marriage—both in my husband and my own heart. Help me to keep on doing good so that I will reap Your harvest of blessing. A Praise Story “This challenge was more wonderful and difficult than I could have believed. I thought I was an encouraging wife; I found out that I was not. It was actually humbling for me to continually encourage my husband for thirty days! God revealed in His great mercy my proud heart and the continual need for repentance. I plan on continuing this journey, doing it all over again until encouraging my husband becomes a habit. My husband’s response to all the encouragement? All positive. He is more attentive and loving, plus he’s been listening to me more.” Reflect and Respond • What unrealistic expectations have you been holding on to for your husband? • How can you let go of those expectations and look at your husband through eyes of grace? Go Deeper Take some time to write down any changes you’ve seen so far during this challenge, even if they’re miniscule. They could be in your husband or in you. Then verbally thank your husband for the things he is doing in your marriage, and release him from any overly demanding expectations the Lord has shown you. You can also learn more from a woman who learned the hard way through this True Woman blog post, “Marriage Killer #1: Unrealistic Expectations.” Day 13: Don’t Settle for a Passionless Marriage (Kelly) By Kelly Needham Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. —Song of Solomon 7:10 Devotional A great sex life takes a lot of work; it doesn’t happen naturally. So, it’s not surprising that many couples find tension and hurt in the bedroom rather than refreshment and joy. But God intended for marital intimacy to be a vibrant and regular expression of love. Sex is God’s idea, His good gift for our marriage. So, don’t settle for a passionless marriage. Start praying today that God would help you both enjoy this gift and show you what is standing in the way of enjoyment. Negativity—toward our husbands or ourselves—kills intimacy. Start fighting for passion by showering your husband with encouragement. Communicate with words and actions that you enjoy being with him. Don’t turn him away when he pursues you but instead thank him for desiring you. Tell him what you appreciate about him as a lover. Be specific. And then fight for passion by casting aside your negative thoughts toward yourself—whether they are insecurities about your body, your personality, or anything else. Remember most husbands genuinely long for intimacy with their wives. His desire is for you. So, be confident in his love. For some, you may be more interested in sex than your husband. Don’t be discouraged by this difficult situation! Know that God sees your situation and cares. Seek Him for wisdom and unity in this area, and look for other ways to have quality time and physical touch together. Be a good listener, and don’t take anything too personally. Things likely won’t change overnight, but keep showering your husband with encouragement and pray for him daily. There is always hope for those who trust in God. Prayer Lord Jesus, no matter how I have struggled in the past, I don’t want to settle for a passionless marriage. Free me from wrong thinking and heal me from past sins and shame. Grow in me great desire for my husband and the confidence to pursue him and receive his pursuit of me. Give me wisdom on how to be an encouragement to my husband in this area—and please encourage my heart as well! A Praise Story “I started this challenge out of desperation, and now I can honestly say that my husband and I are experiencing real friendship, love, and respect for one another—even fun! And we have a significantly improved intimate life together, something I thought I was done with for the rest of my life. This challenge is just another example of how when I become willing, God changes my heart and my life.” Reflect and Respond • How can you affirm your husband as a lover today? • What thought patterns are not in line with the Truth in this area of your life? • What’s one way you can create some quality time with your husband today? Go Deeper If you frequently shut down your husband’s sexual advances, ask God to show you why you do this. Is it your work habits? Your parenting habits? An unwillingness to make time for date nights? You might consider apologizing to your husband for any discouragement your rejection may have caused. Find a way to demonstrate your desire for your husband today, maybe with a romantic note or a long kiss after he gets home. You are both bound to stumble as you take steps toward a passionate marriage, so be prepared to give grace for missteps and mistakes. Get a more in-depth and honest discussion of this issue through the Revive Our Hearts series, “Intimate Issues with Linda Dillow.” Day 14: A Man of Integrity By Heidi Jo Fulk Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. —Proverbs 10:9 Devotional Living with integrity is challenging. Having right expectations about the world can prepare us to stand strong. Paul described what we can expect in 2 Timothy 3:2–5: People will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. In a culture that is filled with all that sin, in what ways does your husband stand out? Is he honest and fair with people? Does he show honor with his words and actions in your home, community, and church? In what ways does he serve your family and others? Is he genuine in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can show integrity, and praise your husband for one of these attributes he displays. As you continue in the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture with integrity. Prayer Heavenly Father, would You enable my husband to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with You? Let him be aware of weak spots around his mind and heart. Show him how to walk in integrity by fortifying his resolve through prayer, Your Word, and accountability. Protect him from evil. Show me how to praise and encourage him to stay strong in his actions. A Praise Story “My husband does not walk with the Lord, and we are going through an extremely difficult time. I was losing my joy in the marriage and my basic trust in his integrity. This challenge was a God-sent blessing. Daily I was encouraged, primarily by Scripture I knew but wasn’t relying on. I had given the problems the power in my life. The challenge helped me put God back in control. I am much calmer, appreciating my husband more. He has responded to my re-found joy and encouragement.” Reflect and Respond • What is one way your husband’s integrity has protected you or your marriage? • Do you see the impact of your husband’s integrity on his friends or your children? Go Deeper Pray regularly for your husband’s sense of integrity, that he would be sensitive to the Spirit in all ways. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband’s honesty and integrity with others. In particular, if you have children, point out his integrity to them. Your prayers and words will serve to strengthen him. Want some insight on how to encourage your husband toward integrity? Check out the True Woman blog post, “Two Kinds of Husband Whisperers.” Day 15: His Pursuit of God By Monica Hall Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. —2 Peter 3:18 Devotional Encouraging your husband to pursue God is incredibly important. However, it takes discernment and humility to do this in a way that doesn’t overstep your role as his wife. How can you encourage without leading? One way is to ask how you can pray for him. Asking him to share specific requests shows that you care about what he cares about, and it can encourage him in his own prayers. If you have questions about Scripture, ask him for help instead of defaulting to a website or study guide. Show him that you value his thoughts in spiritual matters. At times I have told my husband what I wished he would do to lead spiritually, which communicated that he wasn’t measuring up in this area. I thought I was helping by giving suggestions. Instead, I was doing quite the opposite. If your husband isn’t pursuing God or leading spiritually, turn to the Lord and trust Him to work in your husband’s heart. It may be difficult to hold your tongue, but if you pray diligently, encourage him even in baby steps, and refrain from “helpful” suggestions, you will honor the Lord and avoid discouraging your husband. Prayer Lord Jesus, more than anything else in my marriage, I want my husband to have a fruitful and growing relationship with You. Give him a desire for knowing and honoring You in every area of life. Forgive me for ways I have criticized his faith walk instead of encouraging him to pursue You. Thank You for loving him more than I do and wanting to be in relationship with him. A Praise Story “I’ve been a Christian for more than twenty years, but my husband doesn’t share the same walk. Many times I’ve asked him to do Bible studies with me and he’s always rejected the offers, so I know he doesn’t really know Scripture to quote. This morning, I woke up and he just looked at me, stroked my face so gently, and started quoting Proverbs 31 over me—how precious I am to him, how I have always worked with him and loved him no matter what, how I’ve been good with finances, etc. My husband has never been that verbal with me before about his feelings. I believe this happened because I listened to your challenge and accepted it, and the Lord worked on me. He changed me and my attitude.” Reflect and Respond • Have you been encouraging your husband in his walk with God or trying to lead him spiritually by nagging? • Are you being faithful in your own pursuit of God? Go Deeper Remember who your husband was when you first met? Has there been growth? If so, point that out to him. He may not realize how much God has done. If you honestly can’t see any growth, keep praying and trusting and look for ways to encourage his thoughts toward spiritual things in a way that isn’t nagging or critical. If you’re looking for more insight on how to help your husband grow spiritually, try this True Woman blog post: “When He’s Not the Spiritual Leader You Expected.” Day 16: Your Life Companion By Sheila Dougal Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” —Genesis 2:18 Devotional Loneliness is a problem, a big one. One study found that half of all Americans feel lonely. But God had a plan to combat loneliness from the beginning: each other. In marriage, that “each other” remedy is one man and one woman so intertwining their lives that they are one in God’s eyes. But as sinners it’s easy to focus on how our husbands fall short in being the companion we desire. When you find it hard to see your husband as a dear companion, stop looking at him and start looking at what Christ has done for you. Then take that mercy you’ve tasted and find some way to show your husband the friendship you desire. My husband works on projects a lot. He would tell you he’s a workaholic. And it can become easy for me to focus on the companionship we lack. But I’ve found with a steady diet of God’s Word, prayer, and remembering Christ’s love for me, I can walk out to my husband in the midst of his projects, put my hand on his shoulder, playfully engage him with a little conversation and an offer of food or drink, and I am helped in remembering this man is just a man. Like me, he fails to be the ideal companion. But with mercy, we can walk through this hard life together. Prayer Heavenly Father, forgive me for the tendency to focus on my husband’s weaknesses rather than being the confidant and friend he can lean on for help and encouragement. Strengthen our unique connection as husband and wife, and help me discover ways to deepen our relationship. A Praise Story “This challenge has impacted my already ‘good’ marriage in a big way in just seven days. I’ve seen a huge leap in happiness in my husband in just seeing him smile and come home to a wife who shows her appreciation. I have always appreciated my husband but not in a way that was noticeable to everyone around. Through this challenge I’ve seen a turnaround in romance in my marriage and brought happiness to my very stressed husband. This was truly an answer to my prayers.” Reflect and Respond • During lonely times in your marriage, how can you find comfort in Christ? • In what ways could you meet your husband where he’s at in order to deepen your connection? Go Deeper Seek your husband as your life companion. Share little things and big news with him first. Make a point of planning time together, whether that’s an outing or time alone together at home, or join him in the activities he enjoys. Affirm the ways that he is your best friend and how you are happy God has given him as your life companion. For more encouragement, check out this True Woman blog post, “The Wonder of Oneness.” Day 17: The Home that Wisdom Builds By Betsy Gómez Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight . —Proverbs 9:10 Devotional As women, we are either building up or tearing down our home. The outcome is determined by whether we choose wisdom over foolishness (Prov. 14:1). In theory, no one wants to damage their family, but in real life it’s so easy to conform our thoughts and desires to the world’s foolishness. True wisdom is only found in the Word of God, and it flows from fearing the Lord (Prov. 9:10). James 3:17 says that “[this type of] wisdom is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Every time I read that passage I feel a strong conviction in my heart about my need to grow in godly wisdom. The good news is that we have hope—because God promises to give wisdom to the one who lacks it and asks for it with faith. Without a doubt, your husband is one of the first people who will benefit from godly wisdom. He will be grateful if your way of living is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere. Don’t you want to live that way? I know I do. So, let’s run to the source of wisdom! Prayer God, I run to You, confessing that I have been a fool in many ways. Give me a thirst for Your Word so I can discern the worldly patterns I have conformed to. Fill my heart with wonder and fear toward You and help that filling to be evident in my relationship with my husband. A Praise Story “It’s been amazing how the perfect occasion to take your suggestion to encourage my husband comes up each day. He has been on the defensive with me for the last several years, but today as we were working together and I asked him a question, he answered as though it was a simple question. It occurred to me that he was responding as though he was beginning to trust me again. You have given me the training and encouragement I need to be the kind of wife my husband needs.” Reflect and Respond • Is the way you interact with your husband more similar to James 3:14 or James 3:17? • Have you treated your husband in a foolish way? • Would you dare to confess and ask for forgiveness? Go Deeper Remember that a woman’s godly wisdom is shown by her conduct and actions rather than just her speech. Be intentional in building up your husband with wise Christ-like service. You can get some practical ideas on how to do this through the Revive Our Hearts program, “Building Your Home.” Day 18: Permission To Enjoy Each Other By Erin Davis Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse A joyful heart is good medicine. —Proverbs 17:22 Devotional Age and responsibility tend to chip away at our playful sides. Who has time for fun when there is always so much to do? And yet our relationships with our husbands have the potential to be pressure valves that release some of the built-up stress of daily life. Marriage can (and should!) be fun. Consider: • Are most conversations with your husband serious and task-centered? • Do you thwart your husband’s attempts at playfulness with rolled eyes or sharp words? • For parents, do you encourage or discourage your husband’s playful side with your children? • What prevents you from simply enjoying your husband? Listen to the invitation found in Scripture: “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun” (Eccl. 9:9). Do more than simply partner with your husband in the work assigned to you. Enjoy him! Watch for evidence of his playful side and play along. Look for opportunities to enjoy life together more often through games, hobbies, or experiences. What can you do today to initiate some fun? Prayer Lord Jesus, so many times the pressure of life gets the better of me and I take everything so seriously. Help me to rejoice in life, to be quick to laugh and find humor. Increase our joy and make our marriage a place where we have fun and laugh together. A Praise Story “I took the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. It worked and is still working. It was an immediate turnaround for both of us. We are the best we have been in a long time. It’s wonderful to enjoy my husband and laugh with him again. Even when we hit a couple of rough spots, we were able to turn them around quickly. I thank God for opening my ears up just at the moment you were speaking on the radio.” Reflect and Respond • Who tends to be more serious, you or your husband? Who tends to be more playful? • How can you grow in appreciation of your differences in temperament in this area? Go Deeper Do something fun. Think of something lighthearted for you and your husband to do. Fly a kite, go for a bike ride, watch a funny movie, make silly faces—whatever you can think of to do to enjoy your husband today. Want more ideas on how to have fun together? Listen to this Revive Our Hearts podcast, “Need Help Lovin’ That Man.” Day 19: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made By Mindy Kroesche Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. —Song of Solomon 5:10 Devotional The first time I saw my husband, I thought, Wow, he’s tall! At 6’5”, he tends to stand out in most crowds. While I’m attracted to his long legs, I also love how his height makes me feel feminine and protected. And at my vertically-challenged 5’3”, I’m happy to have someone help me reach the high cupboards! Other physical features that I appreciate about my husband include his brilliant blue eyes, his wide and easy smile, his honest face, and his thick wavy hair. And when I make it a point to tell him the ways I find him physically attractive, I can see his eyes brighten, his smile grow bigger, and his stature increase to almost 6’6”! When we share with our spouses the things we appreciate about them physically, it boosts their confidence and helps them to feel closer to us. But the opposite is true as well. Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife doesn’t find him attractive. And if you ever criticize his body, those are words you can never take back. So, take the time today to praise your husband’s physical characteristics. Tell him you’re glad God made his arms strong, his shoulders wide, his chest hairy, or whatever it is about him that you are attracted to. Let him know that you find him attractive and that you’re glad he’s your man. Prayer Lord, thank You for how You made my husband. You’re the One who knit him together and created him to be unique. Help me to appreciate the beauty of my husband’s physical form in new ways. Forgive me for any times that I’ve been critical and for the ways I’ve aligned my expectations for physical appearance with our current cultural standard. Help me to be creative in letting my husband know that I’m attracted to him, and let that knowledge increase his confidence and strengthen our marriage. A Praise Story “I can’t remember how I found this challenge, but I know it was out of desperation as I was becoming increasingly negative and could see how it was slowly eating at my marriage. It’s only Day 13, but my heart is changing and I’m falling in love with my husband all over again. He doesn’t know I’m doing this, but he is loving how I’m treating him and slowly but surely in return I am receiving the same. This challenge has helped me personally as well as in our marriage to reflect what God intended for us in the beginning.” Reflect and Respond • What physical characteristics do you admire in your husband? In what ways has God made him unique? • What are some creative ways you could communicate to your husband that you find him physically attractive? If you’re having a difficult time in this area, ask God to increase your attraction to your husband. Maybe it could start with appreciating his eyes, his smile, etc. Go Deeper Read a wife’s description of her beloved in Song of Songs 5:10–16. Just as this woman did for her husband, take the time to look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, and thank God that he is “wonderfully made.” Then send a flirtatious text message, leave him a love note, or tell him verbally how you find him attractive. Get more encouragement in this area through the Revive Our Hearts program, “Delighting in Marriage.” Day 20: Dig Out Bitter Roots By Erin Davis Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. —Ephesians 4:32 Devotional If you are unwilling to forgive your husband, you will find it difficult to encourage him. At this point in the thirty-day challenge, it’s possible the Lord has exposed some areas of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes you’ve stored up. Forgive your husband, not because he hasn’t hurt you or even because he’s apologized or changed. Forgive your husband because God has forgiven you. Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Bitterness within your marriage will produce a crop that will impact many: your husband, your children, your church, and your community. Invite God to tend to the soil of your heart in this area, expressing your desire to have all seeds of bitterness removed. Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, do you need to ask forgiveness for an offense? No matter how your husband handles his heart, you are called to freedom from bitter roots. Ask the Lord to remove all bitterness from your marriage so that you can walk in freedom in your relationship with Him and others. Prayer Heavenly Father, I have sinned against You by judging and resenting my husband. Forgive me for being stingy with forgiveness when you have been so generous. Fill me with love and compassion for my husband. A Praise Story “About two months ago my husband and I began having problems communicating. This started a ball rolling in a direction we both did not want to go—anger, bitterness, resentment, discontented, disconnected. I ran across this challenge months ago but never took the time to actually do it. I finally started it about fourteen days ago, and I cannot tell you the turnaround! We are communicating the problems we have with each other and actually have some kind of resolve in our conflicts.” Reflect and Respond • Can you think of times when your bitterness toward your husband impacted others outside your marriage? • In what ways is your bitterness hindering your freedom? Go Deeper Start digging. Ask the Lord to show you the roots of bitterness in your heart. Make a list of them and ask God to forgive you for your resentment. Then choose to forgive your husband in response to God’s extravagant forgiveness toward you. You can meditate on this topic even more today by listening to this Revive Our Hearts podcast, “The Faith to Forgive.” Day 21: Living for the Kingdom By Heidi Jo Fulk Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” —Matthew 6:33 Devotional If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do, or say is seen from an eternal perspective. Only two things will go into eternity: the Word of God and people. Be sure you are focusing on the right things—even in your marriage relationship. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject momentary pleasures, materialism, and temporal values? Does he seek God’s glory instead of his own? Express your gratitude for your husband’s value system, and praise him for putting God’s kingdom and eternal things before the things of this world. If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Determine today that your words will build your husband up, encouraging him to live for God’s kingdom. Prayer Jesus, I want to be a wise steward by investing in eternal things. Help my husband and me to see where we need to adjust our thinking and priorities. Then enable us to actively pursue the work and relationships You have for us, so that our lives are centered on Your kingdom values. A Praise Story “My husband and I have been married thirty-one years, and I thought I was a very encouraging wife. Then I completed this challenge. The changes in my husband and me were remarkable. After only five or six encouraging statements to my husband on different days, he was just beaming! His whole demeanor changed. I was so convicted for how I have taken my husband for granted and only let my mind dwell on how he could improve and what he could do better. I’m doing this challenge again so it becomes a habit!” Reflect and Respond • What strengths does your husband have that might be used to grow God’s kingdom? How can you encourage him in those strengths? • What issues or groups of people is your husband particularly drawn to and compassionate toward? Go Deeper Assess any habits or patterns in your life that aren’t prioritizing God’s Word and people. Make adjustments to honor God and focus your home more on the kingdom. You can get more practical ideas on how to truly live for eternity through the Revive Our Hearts series, “Living for the Age to Come.” Day 22: Season Your Speech with Grace By Sheila Dougal Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Let your speech always be gracious. —Colossians 4:6 Devotional My husband is not (yet) a believer in Christ, and so the words of Colossians 4:6 feel very applicable. The context for this verse is the one right before it: “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time” (v. 5). Paul wants Christians to live and speak with grace toward those who have not put their hope in Christ. Maybe that’s your husband, but even if it’s not, our husbands can at times feel like “outsiders.” Men and women are very different, and God made it that way. We’re meant to complement each other, not be identical. But the differences in the way we see the issues of life, even if we both trust in Christ, can make efforts at walking in unity seem overwhelming. One way we can address these differences is by seasoning them with grace. The rest of Colossians 4:6 compares gracious speech to food seasoned with salt. Sometimes trying to come alongside our husbands amidst our differences can feel like trying to eat bland, unseasoned food. But gracious words such as, “I love it when you _____,” or “I notice how hard you work and I appreciate you,” or even “I’m so glad you’re _____; you help me to see life from a different point of view,” can make all the difference. When you fill in the blanks with gracious words, it will compliment the good “flavor” of your husband. Prayer Father, forgive me for being so quick to point out my husband’s differences as though they were wrong or bad. Help me to love the different flavors of personality my husband brings to our marriage. Help me to find ways to speak graciously to him so he will see Christ more clearly even through me. A Praise Story “I am on Day 14 of the challenge. On Day 3, my husband said, ‘Thank you for staying off my back the past few days.’ On Day 10, he brought me a dozen roses. When I asked why, he replied, ‘Because you have been so cooperative and not pushed. You are so understanding.’ He is not a believer, but this is truly making an impact on him.” Reflect and Respond • How does it encourage you to see the differences between you and your husband as complementary rather than as competing with each other? • What words could you fill in the blanks above with to encourage your husband this week? Go Deeper Use the fill-in-the-blank statements above to communicate a gracious message to your husband and find ways to show unmerited favor and kindness to him with your words. Remember the kindness and grace of God extended toward you even while you were still His enemy, disregarding His Son. Let the grace He gave to you be on your lips when you speak to your husband. To find out more about how powerful words of grace can be, listen to this Revive Our Hearts podcast, “The Power of Words.” Day 23: Appreciating His Strengths By Sheila Dougal Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. —1 Corinthians 7:7 Devotional Whether our husbands share our faith in Christ or not, we should be able to recognize the gifts and talents God has given them. And most likely, the gifts He gave them are different than the ones He gave us. Often He will draw together two people with opposite strengths and weaknesses on purpose in order to refine and help us. Rather than focusing on our husbands’ weaknesses, we should affirm their strengths. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal discipline that are worthy of your praise—even when his bent for order and discipline comes against your bent for whimsy. Affirm him for these traits and how this helps your marriage function. It can be easy to think we know our husbands pretty well—and we probably do know them better than most. But that shouldn’t keep us from always learning about and being students of their hearts and personalities. Instead of approaching our days with our husbands assuming we have them figured out, let’s study them, recognize the things they’re good at, and look for ways we can build them up. Prayer Father, when I see the differences between my husband and me, sometimes I am grateful . . . but sometimes it’s difficult. Let me serve my husband in love, with the gifts You’ve given me. Help me learn from my husband and lean on his strengths. Fill me today with an appreciation for how You’ve wired him and help me to be a student of his heart so that I can praise him and build him up. A Praise Story “I figured I would give this challenge a try when a friend posted it on Facebook, because what did I have to lose? It proved to be better than any marriage conference or advice I have ever received. You see, I have a great man, but I didn’t know it. This challenge brought out new strengths in my husband every single day. I feel so bad that I never appreciated him before. He was right there beside me, but I didn’t see. God is good and faithful to open my eyes. Today is Day 30, and tomorrow I am going to start over and do it all again. My marriage of eighteen years was hanging on; now it is awesome.” Reflect and Respond • What are your husband’s strengths? How do they complement your weaknesses? • How can you be a student of your husband today so that you’re able to encourage him? Go Deeper You’re over 75 percent of the way done with this challenge! Hopefully, it’s getting easier to find ways to encourage your husband each day. But if not, ask God to give you fresh inspiration each day. Today, think about the strengths God has given your husband, as well as those He’s gifted to you. Find ways to use the abilities God has given you to serve your husband in love. Often we think of the good of missionary work or caring for the homeless or orphans—all good works God may have us do, but loving your husband right where you are and serving him so that he will be drawn to Christ is just as much a good work. For more encouragement, check out the Revive Our Hearts podcast, “Focusing on Your Spouse’s Strengths.” Day 24: A Father at Heart By Betsy Gómez Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. —Ephesians 6:4 Devotional I didn’t grow up with my father, so my first interaction with an actual father at home was with my husband. When we were newlyweds, I was intrigued about the type of father he would become, and nowadays it amazes me to see him being a godly father instructing our children in the Lord. What’s sad, however, is that even though I highly respect him as a father, it’s easy for me to spot his weaknesses and point them out without grace. I need to be very careful! My heart is deceitful and is always trying to convince me that I have a better explanation for the kids than him or that because I spend more time with them I know what’s best . . . Bottom line, I think I can do it better. This is the sinful seed of pride bearing fruit. Sisters, we need grace to encourage our husbands in their role as fathers. We need to cultivate humility in order to allow our spouses’ leadership to flourish in our homes. If you have children, let your husband take the lead and celebrate him for doing it. If you don’t, then thank him for the ways he reflects God’s character to the children around you. Prayer Dear God, You are our good Father. Thank You for adopting us into Your family, sustaining us with Your grace, and providing faithfully. Thank You for my husband and the ways he reflects Your love as a father. Help him cling to You, and help me to support him and submit to his leadership. A Praise Story “I want to thank you for the 30-day challenge to be an encourager to my husband. In our twenty-five years of marriage, I have found myself sometimes losing awareness of what a kind, loving husband and father he is, focusing instead on shortcomings or areas I was irritated about. This challenge has helped me to again see how blessed I am to have him as my husband.” Reflect and Respond • Are you supporting your husband’s leadership with your children or competing against it? • What, if any, attitudes do you need to change in order to foster a more supportive environment for him to grow as a father? • Are you willing to surrender those things to the Lord and ask for forgiveness? Go Deeper Our children are witnesses of whether we support our husbands in their role as fathers or not. Sometimes an example is worth more than words. If the Lord convicts you of any sin in this matter, are you willing to ask for forgiveness to your husband in front of your kids? This could be a perfect opportunity for you to affirm him as a father. Get more ideas on how to encourage your husband in his role as a father in the True Woman blog post, “The Role a Wife Plays in Father’s Day.” Day 25: Making Peace a Priority By Monica Hall Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Seek peace and pursue it. —Psalm 34:14 Devotional Peace is something we may take for granted when it’s present, but we sorely miss when it’s lacking. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” That middle clause is an acknowledgment that sometimes peace is lacking despite our best efforts, but it also challenges us to do everything possible to achieve peace. Your marriage may be characterized by peace, or arguments may be prominent. Either way, it’s crucial to examine yourself to see if you are making peace a priority. Once you’ve determined that your heart genuinely seeks peace, you can begin to encourage your husband. Maybe he is already a great peacemaker. Thank him for this and tell him how valuable his heart for peace is in your marriage. Does he handle conflict in other relationships with grace and humility? Encourage him in that, mentioning specific instances when he pursued peace. If, instead, he is more prone to angry confrontation, ask the Lord for wisdom in how to encourage him to prioritize peace more. Your example of seeking peace and refusing to fight will be its own encouragement, without you having to say a word. Prayer Jesus, You are the Prince of Peace, and I long for peace to flourish in my heart, marriage, and home. Guard my tongue and my mind from divisive or angry words and attitudes. Help both my husband and me pursue peace so You are magnified in our marriage. A Praise Story “I can’t explain how this happened, but I made a commitment in speaking good words to my husband for thirty days, and I experienced a big change on the first week—from him telling me how beautiful I look to bringing flowers after his day of work. It is like when we were dating eight years ago.” Reflect and Respond • Think about your words, tones, and attitudes. Are you creating an environment of peace in your home? • “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). Consider memorizing this verse and asking the Lord to soften your tongue in the midst of conflict. Go Deeper I heard of a couple who each listed ten irritating things their spouse was likely to do, like leaving clothes on the floor or being late. They then promised to never argue or complain about anything on those lists. Imagine how this exercise might affect your marriage. Consider making such a list and committing to prioritize peace in each situation. You can find out more about becoming a peacemaker in this Revive Our Hearts program on the life of Joshua. Day 26: Strike a Balance By Sheila Dougal Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. —Luke 2:52 Devotional In a recent meeting with our church staff, my pastor talked about the myth of balance. To illustrate his point, he used guitar strings as a visual of this reality of life: tension. Life isn’t so much about striking a balance; instead it’s striking a chord with constantly adjusted tensions. When we try to balance our life, we inevitably find that it’s like trying to balance a teeter totter by running from one side to the other. In Luke 2:52, we see Jesus striking a healthy tension between favor with God and favor with man. The same tension must be sought after in our relationships with our husbands. As followers of Christ who are also married, we’ll experience a tension between our desire to serve God and our desire to have a great relationship with our husbands. Marriage is a gift from God, and we should honor it, stay faithful to our vows, and seek to glorify God in how we love our husbands. But while we tune the strings of our lives to bring a beautiful sound to God’s ears, our marriage shouldn’t compete with tuning the strings of growing in our faith and love of God. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, we shouldn’t focus only on our marriages but on pleasing the Lord in all we do. When we tune our lives with a healthy tension like Jesus, we grow in favor with God and man and strike a sort of balance that otherwise could never be achieved. Prayer Father, help me to follow Jesus’ lead in loving my husband and growing in my love for You. Help me to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness, and by doing so, may that help me love my husband even more. Give me wisdom as I live out the tensions of life so that You would be glorified in my life and in my marriage. A Praise Story “While my marriage is good, I was stuck in a comfort zone. This challenge was just what I needed to appreciate my husband all over again! He works hard for myself and our daughters, keeps the yard well maintained, and is happily active in our lives, just to name a few. Your challenge has opened my eyes to stop taking all of that (and more) for granted! And if I can continue to thank him, especially in front of our girls, what a great witness that will be for them in their marriages one day.” Reflect and Respond • What tensions do you feel between serving God and growing your relationship with your husband? Are there areas where you need to make adjustments? • How can seeking God first help with achieving balance in your marriage and other areas of life? Go Deeper Take time to consider how you handle the tension between your service to the Lord and your relationship with your husband. Are there times when you put your husband before your time with the Lord? Are there areas where you might be serving at church that are causing you to neglect your marriage? Ask God to give you wisdom so that you are “tuning” your life and marriage to the melody He desires for you. Get four tips on how to balance your family and your ministry through this blog post from the Leader Connection, “4 Ways to Balance Your Ministry and Family.” (Even if you’re not a ministry leader, the principles still apply!) Day 27: Acknowledge His Courage By Kelly Needham Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD! —Psalm 31:24 Devotional You have almost completed the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge! Perhaps it has taken a tremendous amount of courage to refrain from criticism and consistently speak words of encouragement to your husband. This kind of courage is only possible when we place our trust in God and wait on Him. And it’s this kind of courage we want to look for and celebrate in our husbands. Courage isn’t being a “tough guy,” and it isn’t the absence of fear and anxiety. Courage is at work when someone does the right thing despite the presence of fear, anxiety, and negative consequences. Where do you see your husband doing the right thing even though it hurts? Does he stand up for the rights of others, even when it’s unpopular? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he experience losses to protect you or your family? Point out the ways he is courageous currently and has been in the past, and thank him for setting an example for you. And ask God for the courage you need today. Keep your eyes on God, and wait on Him to bring about the changes you hope to see in your marriage. Like the holy women who didn’t “fear anything that was frightening,” keep hoping in God (1 Peter 3:1–6). He will not disappoint you. Prayer Father, thank You for the way my husband cares for our family and others. For every expression of courage in him, whether big or small, I am grateful. Help me to see new ways to strengthen him with my words and build him up. Wherever he is afraid or facing anxiety, help him to trust You and lean on Your strength. A Praise Story “I’ve been praying the prayers now for twenty-nine days, and I can tell you, restoration has begun. My husband and I have been separated for a total of eighteen years. Our children are grown now. But we serve an awesome God. My husband is on his way home!” Reflect and Respond • What display of courage might you be overlooking in your husband? • What causes your husband the most anxiety and fear? Spend time today praying specifically for God to supply courage to him in that area. Go Deeper Does your husband have a favorite wartime movie? One that celebrates the sacrificial courage of men? Why not suggest watching it together and then take some time after the movie to affirm the courage you see in your husband. If your husband is facing a particularly fearful season, write him a letter telling him how you are praying for him and that you are behind him 100 percent, cheering him on. Openly praise any evidence of your husband’s courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home. Are you the one needing some courage in your marriage? Get inspired to be courageous in support of him through this Revive Our Hearts podcast. Day 28: The Beauty of Humility By Kelly Needham Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor. — Proverbs 15:33 Devotional Humility is a difficult quality to walk out because it requires relinquishing our rights. Humility enables us to honor our husbands when we know they are wrong. Humility empowers us to refuse to retaliate when we feel hurt by our husbands. Humility fits our mouths with words of affirmation when we’re tempted to criticize. Finish this month strong by asking for an extra dose of humility today. And remember, God gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5). Now, ask the Lord to help you see the humility in your husband. Does he willingly celebrate the victories of others without boasting about his own? Is he able to learn from others, at work or church or elsewhere? Does he submit to the Word of God with joy? Does he set aside his preferences for the sake of others? Is he open about his failures and his need for God’s grace? Today, point out and celebrate any expression of humility you’ve seen in your husband, no matter how small. A humble man is a trustworthy and safe man but not often the type of man our culture celebrates. So, let your husband know how meaningful his expressions of humility are to you and what a privilege it is to be married to a man who values this Christ-like characteristic. Thank him for setting an example for you to follow. Prayer Father, give me the strength to humble myself today. Show me areas of hidden pride, and give me the grace to confess my pride to my husband and seek his forgiveness. Give me eyes that search for expressions of humility in my husband today rather than failures or shortcomings. Help me lay aside my rights as You did, Lord Jesus, and serve my husband with joy today. A Praise Story “Originally, I’d planned to tell my husband about this challenge at its end, but as it draws to a close I’m not sure that I will. I think I’ll just keep telling him what I told him on Day 3. He asked, ‘Why are you being so sweet and nice to me these past couple of days?’ And I answered, ‘Oh, the Lord’s just working on my heart concerning you and our marriage, and I’m striving by His grace to not take either for granted ever again.’” Reflect and Respond • What rights are you clinging to in your marriage? • What past hurts or failures are you holding onto? Spend a moment releasing these to God and read Philippians 2:5–8, asking God to give you the humble attitude of Christ. Go Deeper Don’t wait for a momentous display of humility to praise it in your husband. Look for the smallest, seed-like form of it and praise it in him. Search the Bible for verses on humility and write it in a card for your husband, sharing with him how grateful you are for his humility in specific ways. Then get inspired to display humility as you interact with your husband as you read the True Woman blog post, “Humility: A Bottom-Drawer Mentality.” Day 29: Standing for Righteousness By Heidi Jo Fulk Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor. —Proverbs 21:21 Devotional As you near the end of this challenge, take time to think about your husband’s responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, and the world. Does your husband recognize and turn away from evil? In what ways is he pursuing righteousness—living according to the standards of God in response to his covenantal relationships with Him and with you? Understanding that sin is first and foremost against God should prompt us to walk in righteousness instead, like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:9). Seek to know more of God’s character and His ways together with your husband. From a short discussion about your pastor’s message in the car on the way home from church to reading through a book of the Bible together, there are many ways you can help each other better understand God’s righteousness. Then, through the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, you’ll be able to walk in a manner worthy of our calling (Eph. 4:1). Prayer Heavenly Father, strengthen my husband’s resolve to stand strong against the world, the flesh, and the devil. Protect him from evil and remind him of his need for Your help to flee it and walk in righteousness. Keep him hungry for You so that nothing else satisfies. Help me to praise his choices that display and honor You. A Praise Story “This challenge helped to restore a balance in my relationship with my husband that was on the verge of falling. It brought new meaning and better perspectives into our relationship that we thought were lost. It helped me get through tough and painful times, and I thank God for every day He listened to my prayers. Day 30 was bittersweet—I was glad to have made it that far and thankful to be in a relationship with my husband but sad that I had reached the end.” Reflect and Respond • Can you remember a specific time when your husband promoted righteousness in your home? • Do you see righteousness in the lives of those around you? Talk about those positive examples with your husband to encourage both of your hearts. Go Deeper Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a situation where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today—and express your gratitude. And pray for him—that he would have the courage to stand for righteousness and that his example would leave a lasting impact in your family, just like the example in this Revive Our Hearts program, “Letting God Set Your Priorities.” Day 30: Cultivating Your Friendship By Mindy Kroesche Your Challenge: • Don’t say anything negative about your husband—to him or to anyone else about him. • Tell your husband something you admire or appreciate about him—and say it to someone else about him! Verse This is my beloved and this is my friend. —Song of Solomon 5:16 Devotional One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me was that I should not only love the man I married, but I should also consider him to be my friend. I took this advice to heart. My husband and I were friends for a year before we ever dated, and we’ve continued to cultivate this friendship. Over the years, that has meant participating in activities we both enjoy, laughing over funny YouTube videos, praying together, and setting aside time to share about our days—the highs, the lows, and the mundane. This friendship doesn’t always come easy. When we’ve been apart for extended periods of time, are in a rough season, or feel the strain of living in a sinful world, it can be easy to drift apart. So, we have to be intentional about making any needed course corrections to get our relationship—and our friendship—back on track. As you end this 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, think about ways you can cultivate your friendship with your husband. Don’t assume he knows that you value this aspect of your relationship; let him know he is both your sweetheart and your best friend. If you’re feeling distant from your husband, pray that God would help you connect in new ways. God is the One who first brought you together, and He can deepen and breathe new life in your relationship with your spouse. Prayer Jesus, thank You for the friendship You’ve given me with my husband—for taking our two separate lives, making us “one flesh,” and enabling us to understand each other in ways that no one else can. Thank You for how You’ve used these last thirty days in our marriage. May the blessings we’ve experienced as a result of this challenge grow in the days ahead. And continue to deepen my love for my husband, that he may know he is my beloved and my friend. A Praise Story “I have been touched and truly blessed by the 30-Day Husband Challenge. I realize how precious and integral my communication style is to our marriage. I recognize that our marriage is only as sweet as I am to him. As I continue this journey through God’s Word, I want to be a wife after God’s own heart. Thanks for helping me realize how vital my words are to my husband’s well-being.” Reflect and Respond • How would you rate the closeness of your friendship with your husband? • What are ways you could intentionally develop this aspect of your relationship? • What are the benefits of having your husband be your best friend? Go Deeper Talk with your husband and together think of ways to deepen your friendship. It could include doing something fun together away from your normal responsibilities, reading a book and having a spirited discussion over the content, or praying together every night before you go to bed. Since every couple is unique, this process will look different for every marriage. Then intentionally set aside time to make it happen. You can also hear how one couple discovered the importance of cultivating friendship in their marriage in this Revive Our Hearts podcast. Conclusion: The Challenge Continues Lead line: Let’s keep choosing to turn toward God’s Word. Copy: Dear Friend, It’s been a joy to jump into your inbox each day to consider Truth together. This email challenge may be over, but the adventure of growing in Truth isn’t. Revive Our Hearts has a simple mission—calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. Everything we do, including this email challenge, flows from a desire to see you thrive in your walk with Christ. As we think of you, the words Christ prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane come to mind: “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17). God’s Word changes us. So, let’s continue to turn to God’s Word together in the days ahead. ReviveOurHearts.com is loaded with resources to help you do just that. Including. . . Practical, biblical posts on our blogs: • Find truth for every season of life at TrueWoman.com . • Reads posts by leaders for leaders on the Leader Connection blog. • Young women, learn how to identify lies and replace them with God’s truth at LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com . Meaningful Bible studies like: • Abigail: Living with the Difficult People in Your Life • Elizabeth: Dealing with Disappointment • Esther: Trusting God’s Plan • A Place of Quiet Rest: Finding Intimacy with God Through a Daily Devotional Life • Seeking Him: Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival And inspiring video testimonies like: • Katie’s Story: If Not, He Is Still Good • Three Generations of Spiritual Life-Givers • A Marriage Restored by Radical Forgiveness We also have two daily radio broadcasts and podcasts created to help you thrive in Christ. Find out more at ReviveOurHearts.com . Our hope is for you to really know Him, to trust Him enough to obey, love, and enjoy Him. Let’s keep turning toward Him together. Blessings, The Revive Our Hearts Team Encouragement is a powerful way to deepen your intimacy with your spouse and to reflect the loving character of Christ.

In moments of crisis and conflict, we often wonder, “What can I do?” and, “How do we talk about this?” It can be hard to know where to start, and that can keep us from discussing conflict at all. We wanted to give you some tools to help you talk about the recent incidents of racial injustice in our country. Below you will find questions to discuss with your children and your small group. And we’ll share a few ideas of what you can do. As you think about having conversations about this, here are a few suggestions: • Pray before you start. Ask God for discernment, wisdom, and the ability to really listen. • Prepare and be proactive at the beginning of the conversation. Say something like, “Before we get started, I want to acknowledge the very difficult recent events in our communities and country and take a few minutes to talk about it as a group.” • State the purpose. Say something like, “Our purpose is to give ourselves an opportunity to air our feelings in a safe space.” • Establish ground rules. Say something like, “Before we talk, I ask that we are gentle and respectful with one another, since we may not all have the same experiences or see things the same way. It’s also okay if you don’t want to share.” • Demonstrate empathy. Try to understand each person’s point of view and feelings while acknowledging that theirs may be different than your own. • Don’t have all the answers. Don’t put the pressure on yourself to know everything (because, let’s face it, you don’t, but neither does anyone else!) Empathy, active listening, and a calm presence are enough. Start to Talk About It With Our Children • How would you describe the recent incidents of violence and anger toward people of color in our country? • Why do you think this is happening? • Who do you know that has a different skin color than you? • What can you do to be a good friend to them? • How can you help make a difference? With Our Small Group • Growing up, did you have friendships with people of different races? Was anything challenging about those friendships? If so, what? • On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable are you in engaging in conversations about race and racism? • What emotions did you feel as you witnessed recent examples of racial injustice in our nation, states, and cities? • Do those emotions feel healthy or unhealthy? For you personally, what is the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions? • Is there a right way for us to respond as followers of Jesus? How do we respond as individuals? As a group? • Read Galatians 5:13-15 together. How does what Paul said to the Galatians sit with you right now? • Pray together as a group. With Our Small Group • Talk to someone who looks different than you. Ask questions. Be open and willing to listen. • Learn about race and racism. Go somewhere where you are a minority. Discuss what you are learning with others (see resources below). • Support organizations that are on the front lines of the fight for racial justice. Talk to your local police and inquire about racial justice education. Additional Resources Be the Bridge: 10 Things Every Racial Bridge-Builder Should Know by Bethebridge.com How to Talk to Kids About Racism: An Age-by-Age Guide by Alex Mlynek We Are a Salad, Not a Soup by Jeff Jones

I was asked a few days ago three questions related to our finances and needed perspective during these challenging times with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) crisis. Honestly, our needs as Christ followers right now are the same as they are in times of ease, plenty, and comfort. But suffering and difficulty can make our calling and purpose much clearer. Puritan Thomas Watson said, “God takes away the world, that the heart may cleave more to Him in sincerity.” Let’s not waste this difficult season, but instead use it to study and learn and grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior (2 Peter 3:18). The grace that saves us is also the grace that sanctifies and empowers us. God’s power isn’t needed just by unbelievers to be converted. It’s needed by believers to be obedient and joyful. This is the grace Jesus offers you today, and every day, as you seek to follow Him faithfully. What do we need to know? We need to know who our God is and that He has many attributes, and not just love. (I highly recommend J. I. Packer’s book Knowing God, as well as Wayne Grudem’s large Systematic Theology and also his abridged Bible Doctrine.) We need to know all that’s true about Him, including His sovereignty, justice, love, grace, wrath, happiness, mercy, patience, unchangeableness (immutability), and His providential workings to bring about His eternal plan. A central part of that plan is using adversity to topple our idols, including the idols of health and wealth, and to make us more Christlike, and thereby more faithful representatives of the Jesus we proclaim. This will result in people being drawn toward faith in Him. “WE KNOW [not wish or hope] that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). “Now this is eternal life: THAT THEY KNOW YOU, the only true God, AND JESUS CHRIST, whom you have sent” (John 17:3). We need to know that the people of God will truly live happily ever after with Jesus and each other on the New Earth, a redeemed world that is our true country and our eternal home. This is not wishful thinking, but the blood-bought promise of the risen King Jesus. Meanwhile we are pilgrims, strangers, and aliens in this fallen world, and we should never expect anything in it to meet our deepest needs, which can only be met in Him (Hebrews 11:13-17). What do we need to be? We need to be disciples who bear Christ’s likeness, including integrity, trust, and faithfulness to God. We need to be trusting children who believe the promises of God, not the promises of American pop culture and celebrities and financial cheerleaders, including Christian ones, who are convinced America’s long-term prosperity is a given, somehow guaranteed. (Where do you find that in the Bible?) We need to be people who realize our dependence on our Savior and King, and that apart from Him all we do amounts to nothing: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). We need to be Christ’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20), meaning that we accurately and unapologetically represent who He is, what He believes, and what He says is true. Our job isn’t to be His make-up artists, speech writers, or PR staff who go before Him, but His servants who follow behind Him and faithfully convey His true agenda, whether or not others like it or we’re comfortable doing it. We need to be children who understand “God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness” and “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:10-11). Richard Sibbes said, “When we grow careless of keeping our souls, God recovers our taste of good things by sharp crosses.” So we should be people who see that “our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17). What do we need to do? We need to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. We need to love our neighbors as ourselves, caring not only about our children but all children. We need to ask God for wisdom and seek to act wisely (James 1:5) but also lovingly, which sometimes means taking great personal risks for the good of others who need our help. “What does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8). We need to understand that some things are far worse than death, and failing to walk with Him and obey Him and be willing to die for Him are among them. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24). We need to store up our treasures in Heaven, not on Earth, knowing that they are never safe when stored up on earth, but only when placed in the hands of our God in Heaven (Matthew 6:19-21; 1 Timothy 6:17-19). We need to happily serve Him in a spirit of continuous prayer, overflowing with joy and gratitude: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). We need to adopt an eternal perspective, and “fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18). Knowing our Lord went to Hell for us on the cross so we could live with Him forever in Heaven, even in hard times we should fix our eyes on Him and “sing” and “shout for joy” and “be happy and rejoice with all our hearts” (Zephaniah 3:14, NCV).

Proverbs 3:3-4 states “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Examine this verse. God is telling us that there are two characteristics that we should never reject: love and faithfulness. The original word in Hebrew for love is the deep form of love-passion for God that results in obedience. Faithfulness implies reliability. This verse further implores us to bind God’s principles around your neck and to engrave them on the tablet of your heart. This portrait is a beautiful picture of whole hearted devotion and lifetime commitment. The promise is also clear. Besides enjoying a long and abundant life, the faithful God-follower wins favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. David, Solomon’s father gives a beautiful description of a godly man or woman who follows God’s Word faithfully: “...his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” NIV • What are your passions? Have you devoted your life to the God who loves you and made you? What brings you joy? What hindrances do you face in seeking to put God first in your life? • Think deeply about what you have learned about Jesus. Did he exemplify this proverb in how he lived his life on earth? What did His love and faithfulness look like? • Do you practice the art of meditation-spending concentrated time visualizing and memorizing the Word of God? How could you delight in God’s law day and night? Would it change how you spend your time? Can you quiet your mind enough to really focus on God? Set aside some time on your calendar this week to turn off your devices to listen for God’s voice. • I kept wondering how others perceived my character. Then I remembered that the largest part of my life I had lived to project an image of a good man. For the most part, I believe people perceived me as a good, loving and reliable man. However, the part that made me uncomfortable was the binding of God’s truth upon my neck (placing outside my body, visible to the entire world), and writing upon the tablet of my heart. I hadn’t written or bound, I had projected an image. Now, as I have spent the past eight years healing and opening my closed heart that was concerned only with image, I can say that I am binding and writing. I am not doing the Lord’s work for the world to see. I serve God because I love Him and He has called me. Anybody can project an image, but someone will always spot hypocrisy. I think of Adam, trying to hide from God. I want to live for God vulnerably and faithfully. • For Additional Study: Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalms 15:4; 24:4; Proverbs 3

Proverbs 3:1-12 How Do I Become Wise? The Book of Proverbs has much to teach us about how God wants us to live our lives. The English Dictionary definition of a proverb is “a concise saying that illustrates a truth.” The Latin word, proverbium is the derivative word from which the English word proverb came. It means “ a simple and concrete saying popularly known and repeated, which expresses a truth based on common sense or the practical experience of mankind.” The English definition is more specific that the Latin description. The Hebrew word from which proverb is translated is considerably broader than either the Latin or the English word. Most proverbs in the Bible are short, compact statements that express truths about human behavior. Not only are they observations about human behavior, but they are also universal truths that, if obeyed, enhance our lives. These tenets, when followed, are often accompanied by a blessing. “A wise son brings joy to his father."  (10:1) is a prime example. This is a simple, direct truth. If your son is wise, you will be pleased. Notice that the father is blessed because of the son’s wisdom, and guess who imparted these values to his offspring? These terse statements can be misinterpreted as rules, laws or literal promises without exception. For example, Proverbs 10:27 states, “the years of the wicked are cut short, while the righteous live long and prosperous lives.” If that verse was interpreted literally, then all wicked people would live short lives and all who are righteous would not only live long lives, but would be prosperous. As a short, concise statement of truth, you can see that in general the wicked live lives of hate and despair, while the righteous have lives full of richness and love. The concept of longevity and blessing for the righteous is an over-arching truth, and must be a guide to inspire us to holy living KEYS TO EFFECTIVE INSTRUCTION Let’s examine one truth, Proverbs 3:1-2: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands upon your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.” Chapter 3 of Proverbs focuses upon living a life of faith and commitment to God. In this verse, the truth is that we must not only know the commands of our fathers, but we must keep them in our hearts, ready to use when needed. We must not only know the truth, but understand it so deeply that we instinctively respond to any situation in a godly manner. The more intimately we know God and His character, the more we will live holy lives. Moses gives practical advice to parents upon how to impress divine truth upon the minds and hearts of our children in Deuteronomy 11:18-21: “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.” NIV Note the various teaching methods Moses describes in this insightful passage: memorization, instruction, discussion, writing. Every educator knows that the more ways a student interacts with a concept, the more clearly and deeply he un- derstands it. Aural, visual, and kinesthetic learning are all part of training a child. Each verb colorfully depicts such pur- poseful instruction: fix, tie, bind, teach, talk, write. Note the frequency and repetition the parent is encouraged to use- when sitting at home, when walking along the road, when resting and waking. This passage in the Pentateuch was proba- bly the inspiration for the first nine chapters of Solomon’s book. One of every Christian parent’s paramount duties is to teach a child about life and faith. We do so directly and indirectly. We purposefully teach God’s Word, Christian values, relational family principles, and moral responsibility. Indirectly we model authentic faith and practice. The most powerful method of imparting life to our children is by our example. Proverbs 3:1-2 simply states a child should keep the commands taught by his or her parents. If they do keep those com- mands, they will prolong their lives (notice that it is not an unconditional guarantee of longer life, simply an observation that life is lengthened because destructive behaviors and habits are eliminated from daily living) and have prosperity (notice that it doesn’t guarantee earthly wealth, but abundant life). • What evidence of godly behavior do you observe in your children (physical or spiritual)? Are their responses consistent? Do you observe that they have a clear understanding of God’s principles in their lives? What qualities are most in evidence? What challenges do they face? • How have you imprinted God’s truths upon your own heart? Did your parents or godly influencers intentionally teach you Christian values? How did they do so? • Examine your life--can you think of at least two times when you instinctively responded in a godly way to a crisis or temptation? What were the circumstances you faced? What was your reaction? How did it make you feel to know you experienced spiritual victory? What impact did that have on your future actions? King Solomon, the wisest man on earth, wrote the practical book of Proverbs to teach us how to live. One of his first teachings was to “Get wisdom, seek her and find her.”