Dear Roger, Recently I was having my morning devotionals when I came across Matthew 6:16-18 and noticed that Jesus twice said to His disciples, “When you fast.” He didn’t say, “If you fast.” He just assumed that they would fast. I have attended church since I was a child never once heard a sermon on fasting. So, I went to BibleGateway.com and looked up the word, “fast.” Just three chapters later John the Baptist’s disciples asked Jesus why His disciples weren’t fasting and Jesus answered in Matthew 9:14-16 : “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.” My question is: Why isn’t fasting emphasized in the church today? What does not eating have to do with spirituality? Why should I fast? What does a fast look like? Sincerely, Lacy   Dear Lacy, Nowhere in the New Testament are we commanded to fast. On the other hand, Jesus assumes that there will be times when His followers will practice fasting.   One of my pastor friends, Jeff Jones, gave the best definition for fasting that I have ever heard: “Fasting is a voluntary choice not to eat for a period of time in order to focus one’s attention on prayer during a significant moment in life.”   I like to define fasting like this: “Fasting is to abstain from food and/or drink for spiritual purposes.”   The word, “fast”, literally means, “to go without food.”   Fasting is not so much abstaining from food as it is choosing to feast on spiritual things. I believe strongly in fasting as a God given tool for further enhancing our spiritual lives as well as to get some things done on earth that would never gotten done apart from fasting.   In the Bible fasting and prayer often go together.   Let me illustrate from one of my fasting experiences:   Pain etched Sally’s face. Nerves damaged by radiation treatments left her in constant agony. “The doctors say they can do nothing more,” she said. “God is my only hope.  I noticed a passage on healing in James 5 yesterday that might help.” As she opened her Bible I saw two verses underlined in red: “Is anyone of you sick?  He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. and the prayer of faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.” “Would you please gather the elders and pray for me?” she asked.  Unfortunately, it was not that simple. I grew up in a denomination that ill-prepared me for her request. The unwritten, but strongly implied rule of our denominational culture, stated that pastors who ministered in the area of healing were “charismatic” at best, and deluded at worst. Also, our churches were organized around deacons; we had no elders. Furthermore, I was not sure what a “prayer of faith” was. Finally, I had never anointed anyone with oil and was not certain how to do it. Obviously, we never discussed James 5:14-15 in seminary. So, I chose my words carefully: “Sally, you are the first person to ask me to pray for healing according to James five. I am not certain what to do.” I explained my pastoral dilemma and then proposed a solution: “I suggest that we both pray and fast for five days. I’ll meet you in my office next Friday afternoon, and if God tells us to proceed, we will.”  Sally was no novice. She had walked with God for many years. She agreed to the proposal. Five days later we both wrote on paper what we thought God told us and then exchanged papers. The conclusions were identical. We made plans for a healing service on Sunday afternoon. Since we had no elders at the time, I invited our deacons. During the thirty minutes before Sally arrived, I explained to the deacons her request, the background to her pain, and what I knew of James 5:14-15 . I asked if anyone had participated in a healing service before. No hands raised. When Sally arrived, we asked her to confess any known sin because James mentioned this in verse 16.  hen she finished, I took the bottle from Lucky’s Supermarket and prepared to pour olive oil over her head. ne of the deacons averted a mess when he shook his head and whispered that a drop on a finger applied lightly to her forehead might work better. We took turns passing the bottle, anointing her with oil, and praying for her. I wondered if perhaps Sally would now leap up like on television and shout, “Glory to God! I’m healed!” But nothing happened. As she quietly exited the room, she thanked us for our prayers and left a room filled with disappointed confusion, mixed with some measure of hope. Unbeknown to us, the healing service just moved to another time and place. In the early morning hours, Sally was awakened by a strange sensation and knew instantly that she was healed. By the time she was out of bed, the pain was gone—never to return. Later Sally related to me an intriguing aside: “I think that the reason God did not heal me in front of the deacons was because they might get proud. I think God waited until I was alone so He would get all the glory.” She never had another pain as long as she lived.   One purpose of fasting is to discern God’s will and then to have the spiritual power to act in accordance with His will. Fasting when accompanied by prayer seems to communicate to God a deeper seriousness and earnestness that gets his attention.   Lacy, you ask why should you fast? Let me mention some of the reasons and/or purposes for fasting.   1. When we need to know God’s will   I mentioned this reason above.   The Israelites fasted to determine direction in battle ( Judges 20:24-28 ).   Daniel sought wisdom from God with prayer and fasting and God revealed things to him ( Daniel 9:2-3 , 2l-22 ).   2. WHEN WE NEED TO CHANGE GOD’S MIND   Jonah, the prophet of God, was sent to Nineveh to prophesy destruction. When the King of Nineveh heard Jonah’s message, he immediately fasted and called for a fast among his people ( Jonah 3:5-6 ). This time of fasting did change the mind of God, much to the disappointment of Jonah, you will remember, because God withheld His hand of judgment.   If you are thinking a bit you may remember that one of God’s characteristics is immutability. He never changes ( James 1:16-17 ). You may remember that other passages describe Him as One with whom there is “no change, no turning, no shadow of turning, no variableness.   It is important to keep in mind that God has established a principle concerning His right to repent, and whenever we are talking about the repentance of God it is necessary for us to keep in mind the principle.   Jeremiah 18:7-10 : “If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it. “   God is saying, “If I decide that a nation, or an individual, needs to be chastened, if that individual or nation repents, I reserve to myself the right to nullify my intended action if I so choose.” He does not always choose, but He can.   Changing the mind of God through fasting is not a contradiction of the Scripture.   3. When we need to Intensify the Power of our Prayers   I mentioned this purpose above; but, I wanted to make it stand out because of its significance. God promised in Isaiah 58:3-5 , 9 : “I won’t hear with your fasting, but if you’ll do a true fast… then I will hear.” How often we have made earnest prayer to God for some specific need, yet, there was no answer from heaven. Why? It could well be that God is saying to us Jeremiah 29:13 : “When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you…” When we are in turmoil, it is time to fast. When we are out of work, struggling with poor personal relationships, suffering with sickness, worried about wayward children, etc. it is time to fast.   4. when we need Freedom From Various Bondages   When you think about it, we have the opportunity to be in bondage to more things than any other culture in history. We can be enslaved and/or addicted to so many things: consumerism, jobs, cars, sports, TV, lust, porn, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, video games, gambling, the occult, black magic, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, etc. You name it and we can find someone addicted to it.   Prayer with earnest fasting is designed to help us free ourselves from these bonds. God promised in Isaiah 58:6 : “Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?”   5. When we need help forgivING ourselves for past sins   I never cease to be amazed by the Christians who have trouble accepting God’s forgiveness for some of the sins in their pasts. Surprise! That includes most all of us.   John the beloved Disciple spoke for God in 1 John 1:9 : “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” This promise, when properly accepted and appropriated, can help us forgive ourselves, put our past mistakes in perspective and move on to the future.   Both King Ahab ( 1 Kings 21:27 ) and David used this tool to get over the mistakes and sins of the past ( 2 Samuel 12:16 , 21-23 ).   If you are guilty of sin, and have confessed and repented, and are still feeling accused, then fast.   6. When are in danger and need Protection.   The Jews fasted and prayed after hearing of King Xerxes’ plan to kill them all. Mordecai instructed Esther: “You must go and confront the King about this matter even if it is against the law for you to approach him uninvited.” Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai as recorded in Esther 4:16 : “Go, gather together the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” Read Esther and see how God rescued all the Jews in Persia just in time.   Julie and I have travelled and taught in over thirty countries. Our children used to tell us that they had to stop and think to remember whether we were in the country or out. We’ve been in some remote and dangerous places. The kids didn’t really like for us to travel abroad. They often said, “We were afraid you were not going to come back.” We have travelled a great deal in the Middle East ministering to Jordanian, Iranian, Iraqi, Tajikistani, Libyan, Armenian, Turkish, Armenian, and Azerbaijani pastors and Christians either in country or in pastors’ conferences throughout Turkey. We prayed many a prayer for protection. We’ve been cursed in Azerbaijan, mocked in England, snowed in for a week in Armenia, frozen in Mongolia and just after the Iron Curtain fell, afraid of communist persecution in the Ukraine. I own two bullet-proof vests because my life has been threatened four times. Julie has had to wear a vest because of threats on her life. God protected us in every situation. Prayer and fasting are important when we are in danger and need protection.   7. when our relationship with him is intimate and we desire to Enhance Our Worship And Devotion to God   Eighty-four-year-old widowed Anna worshipped God through prayers and fastings daily in the temple as she waited for the Son of God to make His first trip to the Temple. When He finally arrived, she fell to knees and worshipped ( Luke 2:36-38 ).   The early church fasted often as they worshipped God (Acts l3:2-3).   Remember, in worship we want to move spiritually into the throne room in Heaven. Fasting helps to facilitate our moving into God’s presence.   Let’s examine the two basic types of Fasts: NORMAL AND ABSOLUTE   1. A Normal Fast Is Abstaining From All Foods But Not From Water.   During the Temptation as recorded in Matthew 4:2-3 , Jesus was hungry, not thirsty. Satan tempted Him to turn stones into bread. He didn’t tempt Him to turn plants into water.   Usually a normal fast includes drinking water. I think that there are times when drinking juice or coffee is appropriate. However, the normal fast is usually undertaken with only water.   2, An Absolute Fast Is Abstaining From Both Drinking And Eating.   After Paul’s Damascus Road experience, when he met the risen Lord, Acts 9:9 records: “For three days Paul neither ate nor drank.” Moses twice undertook absolute fasts of supernatural proportions. For forty days he fasted, no food or water, after he received the ten commandments and again for forty days when he saw the golden calf. Is it any wonder that God spared Israel.   How can WE begin fastING?   If you have never fasted before, don’t start off with forty-day fast. Our bodies grow accustomed to fasting by degrees. God doesn’t call us to run until we have learned to walk.   Consider beginning with a partial fast. Fast one or two meals and soon extend your fast to one full day–three meals in a row. Perhaps you fast breakfast, lunch and dinner on the same day. I have found it a litter easier to begin after lunch on one day, have dinner that evening and miss breakfast and lunch on the next day. Then, conclude the fast by eating dinner.   You may discover that on the first day you experience a headache and/or some depression. This is normal. The headache is only caffeine withdrawal from drinks like coffee, tea and coke, etc. These feelings will not kill you!   When do you conclude a fast? When you sense God saying that it is time to stop/   By the way, and this is really important, certain medical conditions may need doctoral approval and/or may be incompatible with fasting.   If you are unable to fast because of medical reasons do not despair. When God forbid David from building the Temple because of his many battles and killings, God said to him: “You did well to have it in your heart. I will give you credit for it anyway.” The same may be said about fasting.   Let me address your initial question as to why we see so little emphasis on fasting today. This is my opinion, but, I think it has to do with the sorry state of Christianity in America. Fasting is one of the spiritual disciplines, all of which are designed to enhance our spiritual maturity. There is a cost to growing spiritually and in my opinion, many (most) American Christians are not willing to pay the price.   Well, Lacy, I hope that my answer is helpful. May God bless you as you engage in the spiritual discipline of fasting.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, How can God forgive some one who kills people or rapes our children, a person who sins their whole lives [sic], and then accepts the Lord before their death bed? Anonymous   Dear Anonymous Allowing last-second conversions to open the door to Heaven for rapists and murderers doesn’t see fair—and is not fair. However, the Kingdom of God is not based on fairness. The Kingdom is based on Grace and Mercy. Grace is when God gives people what they don’t deserve. Mercy is when God doesn’t give people what they do deserve. Grace and Mercy are able to operate because of Christ’s work on the cross to forgive everyone’s sin, not just the sins of the “good people”. Grace to rapists and murderers means that they are given Heaven when they don’t deserve it. Mercy to them means that they don’t get Hell when they do deserve it. When murderers and rapists receive Christ on their death beds and are given grace and mercy instead of judgment and Hell we see just how powerful is Christ’s death on the cross and how long are the arms of grace and mercy! By the way, from God’s perspective of perfection, even the people who don’t murder and rape are no more deserving of Heaven than those who do! Paul declared in Romans 3:22-24 : “There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. He went on to declare in Romans 6:23 : “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” The real question, then, is not so much, “How can God let into Heaven rapists and murderers who surrender to Christ on their death beds?” The real question is “How can God allow any sinner into His perfect Heaven?” Even one of our sins would defile the place! Jesus’ mercy and grace are so powerful that they cover every sin with forgiveness. As we enter into Heaven Jesus places on us white robes of purity which allow us to live in Heaven—all sins forgiven—without defiling and ruining the place! By the way, few of us would doubt that not only was the Apostle Paul one of the greatest Christians ever, he is certainly now in Heaven. But, consider the fact that he was a killer and murderer, too. Paul revealed in Acts 22:4 : “I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison.” Again he revealed in 1 Corinthians 15:9-10 : “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am.” Jesus extended His grace and mercy to Paul—even after he killed men, (and apparently) women and children as well. Paul brought this whole issue into focus by declaring in 1 Timothy 1:15 : “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” Well, Anonymous, I hope my answer gives you some insight into the tremendous, far-reaching and forgiving power of God’s grace and mercy. Love, Roger   PS. While the ground at the foot of the cross is level, Hell has multiple levels. Peter identifies the lowest level as “tartarus”. This is the “hottest” level and is reserved for the demons who rebelled with Satan and were cast out of Heaven. Adolf Hitler is in a hotter level than a “nice” person who dies having their sin unforgiven.   PPS. Did you know that God never created Hell for sinners to go there. It was created for the fallen angels (demons). Unfortunately, after Adam and Eve ushered sin into the world, Isaiah tells us that God had to enlarge Hell for all the sinners who were choosing to go there.

Dear Roger, We have a friend (he was only 19) who took his own life about a month ago. He had a Catholic upbringing. We would like to know your opinion about where he is now. Sincerely, Mike and Alicia   Dear Mike and Alicia, Suicide is tragic at any age. I guess we grieve the most over the young ones who “check out early” (the term used by many teens today).   I remember my first suicide call. The young man and his family had no church contact whatsoever. One of their friends recommended that they call me. I was on the scene less than two hours after the dastardly deed.   I guess that I use the term “dastardly” because I soon discovered that this twenty-two-year-old male had blown his brains out with a shotgun in front of his nine-year-old sister. The scene in the bedroom was incredible. I never want to see that again. The nine-year-old was in a catatonic shock. I doubt that she’ll ever be the same again. The family was in shambles.   Since he left no suicide note, mom and dad and the rest of the family will struggle with so many unanswered questions and will suffer a legacy of guilt: “Why did he do it? If we’d only known his despair, what could we have done to help him before it was too late? What warning signs did we miss?” A no-note suicide is one of the nastiest and harshest things any one can do to their family and friends.   The next day I sat with the family as we planned out the funeral service. They were too much in shock to help much with the planning. Of course, I didn’t expect much help.   There was one thing they all agreed that they wanted to include in the service. They wanted someone to sing the song, “Desperado.” This was his all time favorite song. After what he’d just done the day before I thought the song highly inappropriate and in ironic poor taste. Try to plan a funeral service around the song, “Desperado” some time. It is not easy.   The confused emotions at the funeral were incredible. As I rose to speak I saw his wife and baby sitting on the front row to my left. The woman sitting alone on my right was his mistress. I couldn’t help but wonder.   My pastor’s journal is filled with funerals, many of them suicides.   I have met many people who think that if someone commits suicide then he/she cannot go to heaven. Those with this perspective often reason that since they die and cannot ask for forgiveness after they die then God will not let them come into Heaven. That is not true.   The important thing is that sometime during their lives those who commit suicide surrender their lives to Christ as their Lord and Savior. The Bible teaches that Jesus died on the Cross to suffer the death penalty we all live under because of our sins. When we accept the gift of forgiveness and salvation then all of our sins both past, present and future are covered. Jesus accepts us into the family God knowing knowing all the sins we will commit in the future and He accepts us anyway. According to John three, when we receive Christ into our lives ( John 1:12 ) we are born again and we can’t ever be “spiritually unborn.” The only sin that God cannot forgive is refusing to accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior In order to have our sins forgiven.   Some say that Catholics are not Christians because of all the “church baggage” people are required to do and believe in order to earn their way into Heaven–as opposed to finding salvation by faith and faith alone.   Personally, just like for anyone else, Catholics must come to Christ by faith and faith alone. Paul wrote in Galatians that the only way into heaven is by faith, otherwise people would boast and get proud about what they had done to earn their way into Heaven. No one is good enough to earn his/her way into Heaven. Only God gets glory for our salvation. Salvation is based on our faith in Christ–nothing more or less.   I know Catholics who are fully committed to Christ and trust in His work of forgiving their sin, and in that alone, to allow them to enter into God’s heaven. If we were to try to come in based on our own works we would wreck the place.   We need cleansing with the blood of Jesus to make us fit for Heaven.   In direct answer to your question, the issue for your suicide friend revolves totally around whether or not he surrendered his life to the person of Jesus Christ, fully accepting His work on the cross to forgive his sins. If that is the case then he is in Heaven. Otherwise, he is not. According to the teachings of Jesus, he is in Hell.    Let give you a few thoughts that might help as you bring care and comfort to those left behind.    1. The family of an unsaved suicide needs comfort. Let me share several comfort passages that I use again and again: Psalm 23 ; Psalm 103 ; 119:76 ; 2 Corinthians 1:3 ; and 2 Corinthians 1:4 . Focus on understanding their grief.   2. Refrain from encouragement, rationalization and explanation. Rational explanations and encouragement can come later. This is not the time to speculate why he did what he did or attempt to answer questions regarding suicide. Tell the family how sorry you feel for them and how much you grieve for their pain.   3. Don’t talk about Heaven or Hell. You don’t want to raise false hopes and you certainly don’t want to pretend someone is in heaven when you know that the chances are slim. After all, you don’t know the history of what someone might or might not have done at some point during their lives.   4. At appropriate times, share some good memories about his/her life. Humor can dissipate the strained nerves of a tense situation.   5. Fear of appearing “preachy” in no way means that we stay away from talking about Jesus. Using the story in John eight of Jesus’ restoration of the woman caught in the act of adultery gives a hopeful sense of picking up the pieces and starting over again. Using Philippians 4:10-13 ab out the God who pours in the power through Jesus Christ to give victory in every situation can be helpful and appropriate.   I am sorry for your loss and the pain you are enduring as well. I hope you find my answer helpful.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger,   I am a 47 year old male, married for 18 years, with two teenage daughters. I have a 21 year old son with my ex. I married my wife because she was pregnant. While, I did love her in a way I have stayed with her for our daughters … I do not love my wife now, except for the fact she is the mother to my daughters. She is now claiming to possibly have liver cancer. I did not see my son for 17 years, but he has suddenly come back into my life….as soon as I saw my son’s mother, all the love I have felt since we were both in high school came back. We have been spending some time together for about 6 months now. While we both realize this is wrong, I do not want to ever lose her again…. I have loved her my whole life. Due to our ages, the Army, time apart we never were able to be together for good and that is the great regret in my life. My question is, is it wrong for me to go after this happiness and leave my wife or should I stay because she is sick? I have told her that I don’t love her. I have been sleeping on the couch for almost a year. We have no common interest. We don’t have any sort of affection together. I know loving someone else isn’t the way it is supposed to be, but I can’t help how I feel. Name withheld   Dear Name Withheld,   What a shame. I am sorry that things have not worked out with your current wife. I am also grieving for you that you and the love of your life were not able to work things out long ago. Your life obviously would have turned out quite differently.   It is easy now to play the “What If” game. What if we had gotten married right out of high school? What if the army (and other things) had not kept us apart? What if I had met another “sweet heart” I loved with all my heart and married her and not gotten “trapped” into a marriage I really didn’t want?   The corollary to the “What If” game is to look at it like this: “What could have happened, did happen!”   Very seldom do we have the chance for a “do over.” That is what I hear you asking for. Unfortunately, I think that in your case, “what could have happened, did happen” (and it can’t be undone.” You have to play the cards you’ve been dealt. Or, perhaps it is more apropos to say, “You must play the cards you dealt yourself.”   I don’t want to sound harsh. You are not alone. I get asked questions like yours quite frequently. In some cases it is time to pick up the pieces and start over. In others, it is not.   Unfortunately, I don’t see starting over as a legitimate nor honorable option for you.   Since your wife is sick with liver cancer (although there seems to be some doubt about this) I don’t see how you can leave her in a time of need.   I see no grounds for you to break your marriage vows ( Matthew 5:32 ).   I imagine that you’re saying to yourself, “Your answer is not at all what I wanted to hear!” My response is, “I really am sorry.”   I am assuming that you are a Christian; and, therefore, if you choose to follow my advice (Biblically based on Ephesians 5:20-33 ), you’re perhaps asking, “What am I to do?”   The biblical answer is quite straight forward. You must learn to love your current wife and break off the relationship with your high school sweetheart. Trying to love two women is most difficult and one will certainly come out on the “short end of the stick.” I think we both know which woman that would be.   Whenever I have a husband or wife in your situation I remind (challenge) them with the three levels of Christian love enunciated by Paul in Ephesians 5 and by Jesus in Matthew 5 and 22 .   Love your wife (Ephesians (5:25-33) Love your neighbor ( Matthew 22:39 ) Love your enemy ( Matthew 5:43-47 )   I say to the husband (or wife), “Paul said to love your wife as Jesus loved the His church and sacrificed His life for her. Can you love your wife as Jesus loved His church?” “No, not really,” he replies. I’m not certain that I ever loved her. But, I know one thing, I sure don’t love her now!”   Then I say, “Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. If you can’t love her as your wife, can you love her as your neighbor?” He pauses and reflects before admitting, “No, I can’t say I even love her as my neighbor.”   “Well, then, Jesus said we are to love our enemies. Can you love her as your enemy?”   We just can’t get away from our responsibility to love.   Love is never described in the Bible as a feeling. Love is always an action verb. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Loving Jesus is not a feeling. Loving Jesus is doing what He says. Love is always portrayed in the Bible as doing something for someone else.   Love is an action verb. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul lists sixteen characteristics of love: “Love is patient; love is kind, love is humble, love is well behaved (etc.).” These sound like simple adjectives. But, they aren’t. Paul, as he writes in Greek, presents each characteristic as a verbal adjective. Each of these is something love does–whether the feeling is present or not.   Name Withheld, I imagine that if you were now speaking to Jesus person to person about your question, He might well say, “Go and love your wife. Care for her, protect her, stand beside her and help her to become someone special–whether you feel like it or not.”   Name Withheld, thank you for sharing your story. I hope all turns out well. I think that many others will benefit by the answer to your question.   May God bless you with great days ahead.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I joined a women’s Bible study several months ago and recently an argument began over whether or not it is a sin for Christians to have tattoos. The discussion soon evolved to a discussion regarding breast implants. The group was split 50%-50” with some seeing no problem and the others arguing that God made us like He wanted us and we are not free to “fiddle” (as one woman argued) with His creation. One argued that dancing and drinking spoiled our reputations as good Christians. You can only imagine where the discussion went from there! Some thought that it’s a sin for Christians to take tranquilizers to calm down instead of trusting God and “casting all of our cares on Him.” A split is developing over these issues that threatens to destroy group. Please help. Sincerely, “J”   Dear “J”, Unfortunately, Paul dealt with the same problems in his day. Fortunately, he gave us clear-cut guidance on how to settle them. Christian relationships were in upheaval in the 1 st century pagan culture. The Roman Christians were having great difficulty in deciding just which activities were acceptable for Christians and which were not. They were arguing, among other things, whether or not it was all right for Christians to eat meat which had previously offered to idols. Some felt eating it was a sin! Others felt that they were free in Christ to eat whatever they wanted! In Romans 14:1-15:5 Paul laid down the guidelines for settling these disputes. To begin with, sorting out your differences means understanding the difference between personal convictions and Biblical truth. I have a personal conviction not to drink alcohol. It would be wrong for me to tell my friends that drinking alcohol is a sin for them as well. The Bible never forbids simply drinking alcohol; it forbids drunkenness. Personal convictions are those choices that I make for my life that are not expressly forbidden in the Bible. On the other hand, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” is a Biblical truth to be obeyed no matter how we look at it. The real issue revolves around what we might call, “Disputable Matters.” These are areas of life where the Bible doesn’t expressly give direction. Three disputable matters were rampant in the church in Rome: 1. Eating meat offered to idols 2. Celebrating pagan holidays 3. Getting drunk Unfortunately, as your are discovering in your Bible study group, disputable issues still divide and hurt Christians in the church: dress; movies; music; video games; holidays; tattoos; body piercings; bodily augmentations or upgrades; home schooling; drinking alcohol; smoking; dancing; etc., etc. and etc. Two extremes must be avoided as we decide which are acceptable practices for Christians and which are not? Legalism compiles a list of rules and conform to the rules. we then attempt to make our rules and personal convictions normative for others. Libertinism declares that we are free to do anything not expressly forbidden in the Bible: “Since I’m free in Christ and the Bible forbids none of these things, then I’ll feel free to do any and/or all of them!” In Romans 15:1 Paul laid down the over arching principle for how we act toward each other in disputable matters: “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” Strong Christians eat the meat without any pangs of conscience. Weak Christians can’t eat without violating their consciences. However, as we shall see, in order to maintain unity and harmony, strong Christians will limit their freedom so as not to offend weaker brothers and sisters. By the way, Christians who are strong in one area might be weak in another—and vice versa. At Casas Church we utilize seven boxes to help us sort out where we are spiritually and emotionally in particular disputable matters. Finding the right box helps guide us in how we behave around others and what freedoms we may or may not have in each area. By the way, some very young Christians may be able to enter an area with freedom while those much farther along in their spiritual journey may still be struggling in that particular area. BOX 1: I can’t and I struggle if you do. “One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him” ( Romans 14:2-3 ).  BOX 2: I can’t but you can. “As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean” ( Romans 14:14 ).  BOX 3: I can but it is a struggle for me. “One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” ( Romans 14:5 ).  BOX 4: I can and you can. “He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” ( Romans 14:6-8 )   BOX 5: I can But I Won’t Because Others Might Stumble. “Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way” ( Romans 14:13b ).  A stumbling block is anything that might harm the conscience or hinder the spiritual journey of another Christian. BOX 6: I can And I’ll HeLP Others Find Freedom. “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” ( Romans 14:19 ).  If we are “strong” in a disputable area we can help weaker brothers or sisters who are “weak” in that area by making a conscious decision to restrict our liberty in that area. Then, we come along side them and help them understand why we restricted our liberty. Then, we encourage them to enjoy their own freedom and grow strong in that area as well. BOX 7: I can’t so I won’t until I can. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin ( Romans 14:23 ).  Since the conscience is the interface between the human spirit and the human soul, we must never violate our consciences. Instead, we carefully retrain our consciences according Biblical truth so that we can experience the freedom of the Spirit-filled life. The obvious conclusion here is that what is sin for some is not sin for others. Instead of fighting or spending time arguing about the disputable areas, let me join with Paul and encourage us to rally around the indisputable. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” ( Romans 15:5-6 ).  May I share with you what I consider to be the indisputable of the Christian Faith? 1. The Bible is the Word of God. 2. Jesus is 100 % God and 100% man (This is known as the hypostatic union.). 3. Jesus was virgin born. 4. Jesus died a substitutionary death on the cross in our place in order to forgive our sins. 5. The bodily resurrection guarantees that His mission was fulfilled. 6. Forgiveness of sin and salvation come by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ. 7. God establishes an eternal relationship with those who personally receive Him as Savior and Lord. If we get these indisputables right, nothing else really matters. Jesus focused on these essentials as a powerful way to bring in the kingdom. So may we! Well, “J,” I hope these thoughts are helpful. I am stopping right now to pray for peace and unity for your Bible group. I believe Paul’s insights will bring healing and understanding. I hope so. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, My mother died this week. Fortunately, she was a long-time Christian. I’d like to know what the Bible teaches about what happened to her after death. Susan   Dear Susan,   Death and dying is a subject on the back burners of everyone’s minds from preschoolers to the oldest adult. Some 9-year-old children were asked what they thought of death and dying. Brittney: “When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, but your body can’t go to heaven because it is too crowded up there already.” Judy: “Only the good people go to heaven. The other people to where it is hot all the time like in Arizona.” John: “Maybe I’ll die someday, but I hope I don’t die on my birthday because it is no fun to celebrate your birthday if you’re dead.” Martha: “When you die, you don’t have to do homework in heaven, unless your teacher is there, too.”   Death is nothing to fear; in fact, we Christians can look forward to it with anxious anticipation. In Philippians 1:21-23 , Paul declared: “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far.” However, God still had work on earth for him to do. So, he stayed around a little while longer.   Jesus promised that at the moment of our death He will personally take us by the hand and escort us to our new home in Heaven. This is not a job for angels. He reserves for Himself the right to personally accompany us into Heaven’s glory ( John 14:1-6 ).   I’d like to expand on this thought and share a short dissertation of the biblical teachings about death and afterwards from the present and out into eternity.   The Bible is quite clear about what happens after death.   To begin with, let’s put to death the idea of Reincarnation. Reincarnation is the idea that we come back to earth again and again for multiple lives. Reincarnation teaches that our present life form—from insect to human—is a direct reflection of how well we behaved in previous lives. The better we were, the farther up the food chain we return.   When General Patton arrived on the Carthaginian battlefield he observed, “I have been to this battlefield before. I fought here with the Romans.” Unfortunately, Patton was deceived. We only get one life. Sylvester Stallone once related that in a previous life he was a monkey in Central America. That may be true!—no, probably not   Reincarnation is foreign to the Bible. In fact the Bible teaches just the opposite. Hebrews 9:27 declares: “It is appointed unto men once to die and after that comes judgment.” The essence of reincarnation allows us to avoid the reality of facing God in judgment for our behaviors.   Why might some believe in reincarnation? The Bible teaches that there are evil spirits (“familiar spirits”) who have been around for centuries. These spirits know intimately the lives of others down through the centuries and may influence present-day people with thoughts, emotions, and experiences of people who are long dead. These deceived people begin to believe that they have existed in previous lives and that the thoughts and emotions of others are really theirs.   Also, our brains are capable of connecting all sorts of our present and past events and then melting them together in ways that make us think we have lived certain situations and events before. Reincarnation is the ultimate déjà vous .   Let me weave together a number a verses which summarize succinctly what happens after death.   At death, the bodies of all believers and unbelievers go to the grave. At death, the spirits of Believers in Christ go to Heaven, in the presence of Christ. At death, the spirits of Unbelievers go to Hades, which is a waiting place of torment ( Luke 16:22-31 ).   The second coming of Christ is in two parts. The first part is often called the “rapture” from the Latin word meaning “catching away”. At the rapture the Bible says that Christ comes in the air with the spirits of the Christians who previously died and gone to Heaven ( 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 ). At that moment the Believers’ bodies will be resurrected from their graves and joined with their spirits. This is the called the “first resurrection”. They now have spiritual bodies which will one day be redesigned when God makes the permanent Heaven as described in ( Revelation 21:1-5 ).   A twinkling of an eye later the Christians who are alive at that time will be instantaneously transformed into their spiritual bodies, and will ascend into Heaven to receive the rewards that they earned for Christ on earth. They will stand before the “Bema” or “reward stand” to receive crowns based on profitable ministry during their lives on earth ( 1 Corinthians 3:10-13 ). We will lay these crowns at the feet of Jesus ( Revelation 4:9-11 ; 5:9-14 ). Only He is worthy to receive them. They will then sit down to enjoy a time of great fellowship at the “Marriage Supper of the Lamb” ( Revelation 19:9 ).   The bodies of Unbelievers are not resurrected at this time. Their bodies remain in their graves and their spirits remain imprisoned in Hades. Part two of the second coming occurs 1000 years later when Christ returns to establish His Kingdom on earth.   At the conclusion of the millennial reign of Christ on earth the Great White Throne Judgment occurs ( Revelation 20:11-15 ). Jesus sits as the judge. The bodies of all Unbelievers in Christ (non-Christians) will be resurrected from their graves to stand at the Judgment. Simultaneously, their spirits, long entrapped in Hades, will come forth for the Judgment. No Christians will be in attendance here—only those who died without receiving Christ—thus having their sins forgiven. All in attendance at the Great White will be judged according to how well they lived their lives on earth. Since not one of them is perfect and, they will be judged unworthy to enter into the Heavenly kingdom and will be thrown into the Lake of Fire—consigned to Hell forever. The Lake of Fire is referred to as the second death.   According to the Bible, we want the first resurrection and only one death. What we don’t want is the second resurrection (to the Great White Throne) and the second death (to the Lake of Fire) ( Revelation 20:1-6 ).   By the way, Christians are not perfect either; however, their sins are forgiven and blotted out by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross to forgive all the sins of all time. So, none stand before the Great White Throne. This is why Jesus pleads with us to settle our cases out of court before we come to trial ( Matthew 5:25-26 ). When we receive Christ and accept His work on the cross our sins are forgiven before we die and we never come to trial. This is grace and mercy. If we die unforgiven then we will receive justice from God. We don’t want justice. We want grace and mercy. So, avoid the second death at all costs ( Revelation 2:11 ; 20:6 , 14 ; 21:4 , 8 ). Receive Christ before you die and your destiny is determined forever!   My mother and father purchased cemetery plots side by side. However, my mother was a worrier and got to thinking about worms crawling into her casket so she traded their plots for two in the above ground mausoleum. Dad died first and mom said to me, “What if a tornado hits the mausoleum. Maybe we should change back?” “Mom,” I said, “Your spirit will be with Christ and He can take care of your body whatever state it’s in when the time comes.” So, now their bodies rest side-by side, awaiting the trumpet to sound announcing the Rapture, while in Heaven their real selves are enjoying the presence of God Himself.   More important, death ushers us into the presence of the one our heart cries out for—the one, true, God, and this is our greatest consolation.   There is life after death. Let me illustrate with a most encouraging story from the here and now.   Paul Yongi Cho is pastor of largest church in the world. I went to Seoul, Korea in the early 1980s and watched 18,000 people crowd onto 5 acres again and again to worship every hour and a half beginning at 6:30 am and continuing all day long.   Cho shared the following story at the pastor’s conference. He also included it in one of his books about his life.   In 1978 his primary school aged son, Samuel, and several of his friends stopped by a fry vendor on the way home from school. In Korea fried silkworm is a fine and delicious treat. But this afternoon, the farmer who had brought the catch into town had put them into an empty bag which had contained a strong insecticide.   Cho was speaking to a men’s meeting downtown when his wife’s emergency telephone call had come. Cho raced home to find his wife frantic and helpless. Samuel was lying asleep on his father’s bed, and by now he could not be awakened. Before dropping into such a deep sleep he had said to his mother, “Tell Daddy to pray for me.” Then rolling his head on his pillow he added, “But I’m pretty sure I’m going to heaven tonight.”   Cho dialed the neighborhood doctor. “Well, it’s no use, Pastor. Eight boys have died tonight already. There is not anything we can do for Samuel now. If he is in that sleep like you say, then it’s too late; he will go in peace.” Go in peace? Samuel was his son who had loved him and patted him with his baby hands. “No, Lord, not Samuel! Not yet!”   Then crawling to the middle of the bed Cho began to pray. “Father, I will not let my boy go!” For two hours, Cho prayed for Samuel’s life and confessed his sins. When Cho opened his eyes again, Samuel appeared to have no life left in him. No one could rouse him or communicate with him in any way. He went on praising God past midnight, still sitting cross-legged on the bed.   After a while he got off the bed, stood facing the boy and in a thundering voice commanded, “Samuel!” He clapped his hands together in a loud, jolting manner. “Samuel! in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!”   The boy sprang to his feet! Cho bolted backwards in fear. Samuel crumpled and fell halfway across the bed, vomiting upon the sheets. His mother bent to bathe his face, but she was almost afraid to touch him too soon.   Samuel spoke and gestured with his hand. “Say hello to Jesus, Papa.” He said it again. “Say hello to Jesus. He’s right there.” The boy pointed.   Going along with his son’s strange talking, Cho bowed politely toward the space where the boy had indicated and said softly, “Hello, Jesus.”   “Didn’t you see us coming down the hallway? Didn’t you see us, Papa? Jesus carried me in His arms like this.” Both voice and gestures were weak but the parents could make out his words perfectly. “Jesus was carrying me next to His chest to a beautiful place.” He stretched out the word along with his hand. “It was bright, brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. All the colors of the world are dull next to those colors He showed me. “And music! Mama, you’d love it too. It was the most beautiful music my ears have ever heard. I couldn’t recognize the tune, be we kept getting closer and closer to it.” “Then Jesus said to me, ‘We have to go back.'” “No,” I said. “Yes, we have to go back. Your father won’t let you go.'” “And He was bringing me in here to the bedroom. Didn’t you see us coming down the hall? You were calling me, and you commanded me to get up. That’s when Jesus let go of me. There He is-oh, He’s not there. He must have gone back, I guess.”   Jesus Christ is the only one who cheated death.  He promised that if we believe in Him we can cheat death and live forever, too.   Well, Susan, since your mom was a Christ follower, she is now in the presence of Jesus. I hope you find this answer helpful, informative, and comforting. Ask me another question some time.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I have been married 31 years. 11 years ago my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He was 48, I was 41. He has since been diagnosed with congestive heart failure that is well controlled. The problem we have is no physical relationship and I am striving daily not to sin (adultery). My husband completely ignores my physical & emotional needs. We have no common interests & barely talk. I am seriously considering a legal separation. I am a strong Christian but I can only take so much. I am spiritually exhausted. I should have left years ago. The doctors say that my husband needs to lose weight and exercise. He could care less about proactively helping himself. He just wants to take another pill. Help please. Sincerely, Name Withheld   Dear Name Withheld,   I grieve for you both. You’re trapped . So is he. Life (and marriage) was never supposed to be like this. You’ve given care for so long that I know you’re exhausted. Our first baby needed twenty-four-hour care until she died nine months later. She died the week we decided that we couldn’t go on. We know what it’s like to give another exhausting care. I can easily believe that you are worn out. I am so sorry.   He is also trapped. He’s stuck with a failing body and sounds so depressed that he can’t engage in the normal responsibilities of life.   I believe you when you say that you’re a strong Christian . A weaker Christian might give into the adultery and you’re obviously putting boundaries in place to keep that from occurring.   All things considered, I will encourage you not to leave him. Let me give you some thoughts to consider.   First, It Sounds To Me Like Your Husband Is In Deep Clinical Depression.   Your husband’s depression reminds me of Job’s slide into deep situational depression that is described in Job 3 as he struggled with grief and a failing body.   “May the day of my birth perish, and the night it was said, ‘A boy is born!’… That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine upon it. “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb? … Or why was I not hidden in the ground like a stillborn child, like an infant who never saw the light of day? What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”   Consider looking at your husband in a new light. Most depressed people pull back from life. They can’t be scolded and pushed to better performance. No amount of criticizing and cajoling will get him off the couch and into your bed. Consider going to a medical doctor and getting him an anti-depressant (if your doctor deems it advisable). The right anti-depressant may help most everything. He may have other brain chemistry issues that a good doctor can ferret out.   Second, As You Minister To Your Husband’s Needs, You Are Bringing Care And Comfort To Jesus Himself.   Remember in the Garden how deeply in pain was Jesus? “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow unto death,” He mourned. He asked His disciples to comfort Him and instead they all went to sleep. Fortunately, angels were around to minister to His needs. If you had been there, knowing what you know now, wouldn’t you have liked to put your arm around His shoulders and pray with Him, and comfort Him, and weep with Him? Of course you would.   By caring for your husband, you are bringing comfort and care to Jesus. In the parable of the Talents, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, whatever you do for one of the least of these my brothers of mine, you did it unto me.”   Third, The Father Will Use This Experience To Mature You And Mold You More And More To Look Like Jesus.   Paul wrote in Romans 8:28-29 : “All things work together for the good purpose of making just like Jesus.”   Job declared in Job 23:10 : “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”   Dr. Harry Ironside became hard of hearing in his old age. One of his seminary students wanted Ironside to pray that God would grant him patience. Ironside prayed, “Dear Lord, would you please send this young man some problems.” Thinking that Ironside hadn’t heard right, the student interrupted the prayer and said, “No, not problems! Patience!” Ironside prayed a second time, “Lord, please send this young man some problems.” Again, thinking Ironside still hadn’t heard right, the student interrupted the prayer and said, “No! Not problems! Patience!” Ironside quoted from James One, “Don’t you know that it is problems and troubles that produce patience ?”   Fourth, while you are learning contentment, Jesus is offering to pour in the power.   Paul endured some terrible sufferings. Read 2 Corinthians 11-12 which describes his litany of troubles. You will be shocked. From prison in Rome he wrote to the church in Philippi:   “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”   Please notice that patience doesn’t come naturally to any of us. It is something we learn through the difficult times of life.   My dad’s favorite verse was Philippians 4:13 : “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Lymphoma struck his body in his eighty-fourth year. The docs tried a number of experimental drugs—all to no avail. I was with him when the doctor gave him the final bad news. All the drugs had failed. Dad said, “Well what are we going to try next?” Quietly, the doctor said to dad, “I am sorry, Roger, there is no next. We have nothing left to try.” He sat quietly in his wheel chair for a while—head down—considering that all that was left now was to go home and die. Head still down, I barely heard him as he whispered under his breath, “Well, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”   Fifth, No One Should Go Through These Struggles Alone.   You need some friends to stand with you and encourage you and pray with you.   God said to Adam in Genesis 2:18 , “It is not good for man to be alone.” Notice that this was before the Fall recorded in Genesis Three. He had yet to sin.” If Adam before the Fall needed friends, what must our need be?!   Samuel Coleridge wrote: “Friends are sheltering trees.” That is how I like to think of friends. If you have no sheltering trees in your life, consider taking the steps to find some friends. Keeping your head above water is easier when friends are around to sustain you.   In Philippians 4:13 Paul declared that he could do all things through the power of Christ; nevertheless he wrote in the very next verse: “Yet, it was good of you to share in my troubles …” Paul was grateful for his friends.   Sixth, Mourning And Comforting Heals Hurts.   Jesus said, “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted” ( Matthew 5:4 ). We all need comfort when we are hurting. Mourning and comforting heals hurts.   After all was said and done, Job needed comfort. When his three friends heard of his tragedies, they immediately saddled up and rode off to “sympathize and comfort him” ( Job 2:11-13 ). They sat on the trash heap beside him for seven days and never said a word. All the while Job was scratching his sores with a piece of broken pottery. Sometimes comfort is just having people “be there” as we mourn our hurts.   I suggest that you spend time in the presence of some friends while mourning your hurts. You need their encouragement. You also need emotional healing.   As hurts rolled over my life I discovered that I didn’t have enough comforters. So, one day I went to my next door neighbor and said, “Dave, sometimes when I am hurting, I’d like to come to your house, sit on the couch, and pour out my heart. I don’t want you to fix anything. I just want you to listen and pat me on the head and say things like, ‘I’m sorry. I grieve that you are hurting so much.” I never cease to be amazed at how mourning and comfort can often ease the pain in my soul.   By the way, your husband could use a little of that, too.   Again, I am so sorry for you situation and the misery you are enduring. I know that the temptation to leave is incredible; nevertheless, I believe that the grace you need is available ( 2 Corinthians 12:9 ).   May Jesus bless you with great days ahead.   Love, Roger    Dear Reader, several weeks later I received the following letter from Name Withheld. I found it quite encouraging. Dr. Barrier, Thank you so much for your insight and spiritual encouragement. I have often thought that my husband suffers from depression but I will pursue with him receiving help even though I know he is going to be resistant to the thought. I know that you are right. I do have a Christian obligation to help my husband. It is not easy but I also know that it will not be easy if I leave him. I am well aware of the covenant that I made with him 31 years ago. Though this is indeed a grievous never-ending trial I believe that ultimately something good will come out of this. Thank you for your wise counsel and I am praying over the passages that you recommended and asking God to fill me with His divine agape love and ability to endure. To God alone be the Glory.

Dear Dr. Barrier,    For several weeks, I have been wrestling with sending you an email. Having been in church ministry for 35 years (senior pastorate), I know that there are kooks out there, but I assure you… I am not a kook. (flesh and blood, picture included) Neither am I a legalist, writing tickets and leaving them on the windshields of souls.   . . . But I have an issue…   I am now popping the top on my can-of-worms…whether it be Sunday morning worship service, ladies bible study, ladies prayer service, deaconess meetings, or the female leadership from the stage to the lawn, they look as though they walked off the cover of the Cosmopolitan magazine . . . Last Sunday our pastor’s wife, (I am not down on pastors’ wives) was wearing a top so low cut, she could have breast fed a child . . . the Capri pants that matched the top had entrenched themselves in the folds of her skin, requiring a quality crowbar for removal.   While she and the remainder of the Praise and Worship Team left the stage, one of the ladies who heads the Biblical Counseling Team stepped on the platform to make a special announcement, her little black dress and laced-up-to-the-knee, black platform shoes, helped to secure male volunteers for the “clean-up committee”.   The seventeen year old offspring of this same pastoral family was sitting on the front row in a see-through mini skirt and see-through top that matched (the bright pink thong was an added touch). While her father was delivering his sermon, she sat in a chair next to her boyfriend and . . . propped her legs over the arm rest of her chair with her feet resting on her boyfriends arm.   After the 8:00 am service that I attend, I headed to my prayer group, where in the Hallway, I was accosted by the Education Director for Children’s Ministry, who had to point out to me her new “tramp stamp” on her lower back, with her low rider waist shorts and halter top, she was “stylin”. . .   Have we as women forgotten that God calls us to holy living? So why are we allowing Hollywood, New York, and Italy to set our standards? Are we the Temple of a “Goddess” or the temple of the most Holy God?   First Corinthians 6:19-20 says that we are the temple of God. First Peter 2:9 says that we are a royal priesthood. Romans 12:1-2 says that we are living sacrifices to God.   I am aware that I cannot legislate holy living, what people wear, or Godly attitudes. These traits should come out of a relationship with the true and living God. But I am concerned. Just because we live in a modern society, does not mean that we can cast off all restraint. We who call ourselves pastors, teachers, and speakers of God’s word are leading God’s flock, leaving lasting impressions. At times, we look like, talk like, dress like and sound like the world? Should there not be a difference? So what has happened with Paul’s statement; “Follow me, as I follow Christ?”   Once again, I know, this is a “touchy” subject, if it is addressed, you are perceived as “being judgmental”, “condemning others”, or “condoning legalism”. (I am not doing any of these.) But, what can I say? Are my hands tied? Am I going nuts, better yet, crazy? I’m not a prude, I like nice clothes and style, but not to the degree that my influence with the public as a believer or my relationship with my Heavenly father is damaged, in any form.   This is what I do know, I will walk humbly before the Lord, and continue to let him mold me and shape me after his image, and continue to keep it as a matter of prayer before the Lord.   A penny for your thoughts…   In His Service, Martha    Dear Martha, My thoughts? I am thinking “Bravo!” How we need to hear the word of the Lord as spoken through His prophetess, you, Martha.   That’s not all I am thinking.   I’ll tell you what my thirty-year-old daughter was thinking. As we read your letter together she said to me:   Remember the short shorts I wore to school in ninth grade even in the winter. I thought I looked cute. I dressed like all the other girls. I wore what all my friends were wearing. Do you know what would have changed my mind about wearing such skimpy apparel? If I had known what the men and boys were really thinking and imagining as they looked at me. I would’ve been so embarrassed that I would’ve changed my attire in a New York Minute. I wish I’d spent more time wanting them to think of me as an elegant, lovely, respected, Christian lady, not a slut with nice legs.   The struggle over what to wear—or what not to wear—is an issue of eternity. It’s gone on for generations.   For teen-agers the universal struggles of rebellion and assertion of independence are nothing new. In some generations the struggle is symbolized by appearance. Think mini-skirts, bra burning and long hair in the sixties.   Unfortunately, the current skimpy dress styles are not issues of assertion or rebellion. They are blatantly and unashamedly opening the door to sin and to the lust of the eyes at the expense of modesty and purity.   In the earlier years parents teach—and enforce—principles and values.   Things change when entering the teen-aged years. Parents must begin transitioning to clarifying values, principles and behaviors and then mentoring their children to choose to live accordingly.   As the teen age years progress parents would do well give their teenagers more and more freedom to make their own choices. This is a touchy area if Christian values were poorly taught, or if the discussion degrades into a shouting match where every one gets hurt. At that point the dress discussion becomes just one more battlefield of rebellion that damages relationships and isolates individuals.   So, as parents, how do we handle our teenagers’ desires to dress like sluts—or slobs—as the case may be?   What am I thinking, Martha? Allow me to share some thoughts to consider:   First, Clarify Issues.   Carefully have them consider that they can’t live on their parents’ faith forever. The time comes when they must personally decide for themselves whether or not they will take up the Christian faith and live accordingly.   Discuss the Biblical teachings regarding the relationship between proper dress and looking more like Christ than looking like the world.   Help your teen to see that this choice is not just a decision of outside clothes but of inner character and spirituality.   Make it clear that choosing to dress more modestly may actually lead to being a living sacrifice for Jesus ( Romans 12:1-2 ). Acknowledge that the difficulty for living sacrifices is overcoming the incredible temptation to crawl off the altar. Help them understand that living for Jesus is costly but worth it at any price ( Matthew 5:10-12 and 1 Peter 1:6-9 ).   In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls ( 1 Peter 1:6-9 ).   Help them to understand that God uses difficulties to refine us to look more and more like Jesus. The decision to dress properly is not just something they are doing to help Jesus; they are getting a lot out of it, too.   Help them see the powerful impact they can have by daring to be different. Alternative dress in contrast to what everyone else is wearing may result in opportunities to lead people closer to, instead of away from Jesus.   Second, allow your teen the freedom to make his or her choice.   Stand beside them whatever. If they dress more modestly then praise God! But, if they choose otherwise, then pray that their consciences will lead them back to the better path.   If your relationship was not damaged by a sustained battle, you are in a position to help them pick up the pieces and start over again when they return for repentance, forgiveness and comfort.   Oh, by the way, I am certain that you’ve noticed; I hope every one else has. The fact is, of all the people you mentioned—only one was a teenager.   Martha, again, let me thank you for such a poignant and relevant letter. You’ve spoken for many of us.   Love, Roger

Dear Roger, What is the role of the Holy Spirit in the Church today?   Dear Osten, The work of the Holy Spirit in the church today is to indwell Christ followers so they might look like Christ and to empower them to continue the ministry that Jesus had when He was here on earth ( Acts 2:1-4 ). Sincerely, Roger   You have asked a critical question for the church today. To many of us the Holy Spirit is the forgotten member of the God head. We focus so much energy on God the Father and on Jesus the Son of God. We tend to ignore the Holy Spirit. This attitude needs careful examination because in one sense, the Holy Spirit does more in the church today than both God our Father and Jesus combined. The Holy Spirit is really busy.   Of course, the Holy Spirit has no intention of working to make our outside appearances more like Jesus, He is working to produce within us the character and inner life of Christ for all to see.   Just for fun, let’s consider what Jesus might have looked like when He was on earth in His earthly body. Early in the third century A.D. “The Letter of Lentulus” gave a description of the only known physical appearance of Jesus. Holman Hunt used this description for his famous painting of Jesus folding His hands calmly in prayer.   There has appeared here in our time and still lives here, a man of great power named Jesus Christ. The people call him a prophet of truth, and his disciples, the Son of God. He has a venerable face, of a sort to arouse both fear and love in those who see him. His hair is the color of ripe chestnuts, smooth almost to the ears, but above them waving and curling, with a slight bluish radiance, and it flows over his shoulders. It is parted in the middle on the top of his head, after the fashion of the people of Nazareth. His brow is smooth and very calm, with a face without wrinkle or blemish, lightly tinged with red. His nose and mouth are faultless. His beard is luxuriant and unclipped, of the came color as his hair, not long but parted at the chin. His eyes are expressive and brilliant. His face is terrible in reproof, sweet and gentle in admonition, cheerful without ceasing to be grave. He has never been seen to laugh, but often to weep. His figure is slender and erect; his hands and arms are beautiful to see. His conversation is serious, sparing and modest. He is the fairest of the children of men. 21   Some believe this portrayal is nothing less than the police description of Jesus at the time of His arrest. Most think otherwise. “The Letter of Lentulus” is obviously a forgery—although it’s not impossible that it embodies a genuine tradition. Surely, a physical description of Christ was passed down in the immediate years after His resurrection. But, it stretches the mind to think that an accurate description would survive over 200 years without massive corruption. It may be that we have to say of the appearance of Jesus, with Augustine, “We are utterly ignorant.”   OK, Osten, let’s get down to business.   Adam was made in the image of God ( Genesis 1:26-27 ). Unfortunately, Adam’s and Eve’s sin detonated an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual bomb. Adam and Eve were now in Satan’s image ( Genesis 3:1-6 ).   Several years later, Adam and Eve conceived a son named Seth who was born in “man’s image”—not God’s ( Genesis 5:3 ). One of the consequences of sin was that for at least the next 4000 years the image of God was no longer visible on earth ( Genesis 5:1-3 ).   However, when Jesus put on a body and became a man, the image of God was again on display! ( Hebrews 1:1-3 )! If anyone wondered, “What is God like,” all they had to do was to take a look at Jesus.   When the crucified Christ was buried, the image of God disappeared, hidden inside a tomb.   At the resurrection, the image was once again on display. During the next forty days, Jesus appeared to over five hundred different individuals. However, as He ascended into the heavens, the image of God disappeared from view.   On Pentecost, ten days after the ascension, the Holy Spirit, Who is revealed in Scripture as the Spirit of Christ, descended as living tongues of fire and settled on, and then indwelt, one hundred and twenty Believers ( Acts 2:1-4 ). Once again, the image of God was back on earth—multiplied—in the lives of 120 new Christians.   In the upper room discourse ( John 13-17 ), Jesus had told His disciples that it was good for Him to go away! After all, when He was stilling the storm on the Sea of Galilee, He could not be in Jerusalem telling Nicodemus how he could be born again.   Today, the person of Jesus is visible, not just in one locale, but in hundreds and thousands of places throughout the world where Christ Followers are living out the life of Jesus.   Paul emphasized this in 2 Corinthians 3:18 : “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”   [By the way, technically we often say that Jesus lives in our hearts. The truth is that Jesus sits at the right hand of God the Father. The Holy Spirit is He who indwells us ( Acts 7:54-56 )].   Now, Osten, I’ll summarize the work of the Holy Spirit in the church today.   Our first encounter with the Holy Spirit is when He convicts us of our sin, shows us that none of us can live up to the righteousness of Jesus, and reveals to us the judgment that is coming to those who die without a Savior ( John 16:8-11 ).   As we repent, confess our sins and receive the gift of Salvation the Holy Spirit regenerates our dead inner human spirit which now becomes sensitive to the spiritual things of God John 3:1-16 ; and Acts 2:38 ). This is referred to in the Bible as the New Birth.   At the same moment the Holy Spirit baptizes or immerses us into the family of God–the world-wide followers of Christ past, present, and future. This is known as the “baptism of the Holy Spirit. It occurs once and for all at our conversion and is not repeated. When we received the Holy Spirit we received all the Holy Spirit we will ever receive. He does not come in pieces and parts. He is either in us or not ( Acts 1:4-5 ; and 1 Corinthians 12:13 ).   He is our encourager and comforter when we are hurting and discouraged. My daughter died, I am outside leaning against the wall of my house–weeping. My dogs came to me. “You have no idea what I am going through, do you?” I asked them. Sometimes, when no one else is around, the only place we can go is to the Spirit of Jesus–the Holy Spirit who give us peace and comfort in those moments ( John 14:16-17 ; and 16:7 ).   We partner with Him in maintaining unity among Christ followers ( Acts 2:42-47 ; and Ephesians 4:3 ). I stopped a church business meeting when the women began arguing about whether it was best to have wooden or steel cribs in the nursery. I sent everyone home for acting like spiritual babies ( 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 ).   He brings peace in the midst of storms. For example, Julie discovers that she has cancer. Trauma and fear overwhelm. From deep within the Holy Spirit speaks, ” Quiet down. All is well.” We settle down with assurance ( Ephesians 2:14 ; and Philippians 4:7 ).   He pours in the power for victorious living. I’m in the hospital, awaiting major surgery in the morning. Instead of fear and fretting, I find peace and contentment through the Holy Spirit Who pours in the grace and power that I need ( Romans 8:26 ; and Philippians 4:10-13 ).   He teams with us in studying and in understanding the truths of the Bible. After all, who better to teach and interpret the Bible for us than the one who wrote the Book ( John 14:25 ; and 16:12-15 )? Every passage in Scripture has only one, true interpretation. The Holy Spirit guides us to figure out what the Bible writer had in mind when he wrote what he wrote.   Not only does the Holy Spirit guide our prayers, He steps in to intercede for us when we can’t put our feelings into words ( Romans 8:26 ).Sometimes the pain is so deep that we can only groan. He turns our groans into prayers.   He empowers and inspires us for evangelism. I am waiting at gate for my flight to be called. Sitting nearby is perhaps the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen. She is crying. Beautiful women intimidate me. They scare me. But, before I realize it, I am sitting beside her. She is a Las Vegas show girl on the way to the cruise ship job she’s longed for. She missed her plane. Hope dangles and departs. She is out of work. She now has no job. She has nowhere to turn. She needs an eternal friend. I led her to receive Christ. She traded tears for hope.   The Holy Spirit distributes spiritual gifts as He deems best throughout the Body of Christ. Taken together, the gifts present a picture of Christ for the world to see. Every Christian receives a gift at the moment of salvation. As we master that gift the Spirit is trusts us with others as needed. My gift is teaching. Over time I feel like the Holy Spirit added gifs of leadership and encouragement ( 1 Corinthians 12-14 ).   The “Filling of the Spirit” ( Ephesians 5:18 ) is a function of our surrender to the Spirit’s guidance by doing what He says and the degree to which we clean up our lives and stop sinning. We choose life in the Spirit instead of self life. “Quench not the Spirit Who is in you” ( 1 Thessalonians 5:19 ). We choose not to sin. “Grieve not the Holy Spirit Who is in you” ( Ephesians 4:30 ).   While none of us can demand or make God pour out the Spirit-filled life upon us, the Bible gives insights to the things that foster the filling of the Spirit. Let me mention a few.   Stop sinning. However, when we do sin, we confess our sins to God ( 1 John 1:9 ). We must be empty of self and clean and pure in order to be filled.   Seek to live every moment in the Kingdom of God on earth ( Matthew 5:6 and 6:33 ). A.W. Tozer said, “Every man is just as spiritual as he wants to be.”   Walk in the Spirit by making every effort to respond positively to the Spirit’s promptings and leadings. Listen and when He speaks, do what He says ( Galatians 5:16 ). Pray to become a spiritual man or woman at any price ( 1 John 2:12-14 ).   Leave the results to Him and experience and enjoy walking hand in hand with Jesus ( John 10:10 ; and 1 John 1:7 ).   As you can see, Osten, the Holy Spirit is busy. He has a lot to do in fulfilling His role in the church today.   Now imagine that you have an empty glove. It’s floppy and flimsy. Put a hand in and immediately the glove takes on life. I put on the glove and begin playing the piano and what happens? Chaos! I don’t know how to play the piano. But, let my wife put on the glove and play the piano. Sweet music ensues. Julie knows how to play the piano. Of course, we are the empty glove. When empty, our lives are flimsy and floppy. but when the Holy Spirit slides into the glove, the beautiful life begins.   Well, Osten, I hope this helps to answer your question. May you experience the filling of the Spirit more than you ever imagined possible. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, How many times must I pray for someone to be healed? I have friends who want me to pray again and again for their healing. The call goes out from the church to pray for somebody who is sick and we are encouraged to pray again and again while nothing happens. Frankly, I get rather tired of it sometimes. Is there a limit to how many times we should pray for someone’s healing? Sincerely, Many Questioners Throughout The Years. Dear Many Questioners Throughout The Years, In some cases three times is enough. Praying any more might well be a waste of time! Julie and I were in Turkey when I was invited to a healing service for an American missionary serving in the Middle East. For over ten years he'd asked people to pray for his healing. He was at his wits end. As we prayed it became increasingly obvious to me that he was struggling with brain chemistry-neurotransmitter imbalances. When the prayer time ended I gently told him that it was time to stop praying for healing: “If God hasn’t healed you after ten years of praying then another year will probably not do it either. It seems to me that God’s answer to you is, ‘No. Stop asking Me. My grace is sufficient for you. I fully intend to pour the power of Christ into your life so that you may live victoriously with the sickness.'” I've heard and prayed perhaps several thousand prayers for God’s healing hand ; to touch people with complete healing. I've been privileged to witness some great healings. I'll never forget how God brought life back to Ralph, healed the perpetual radiation pain and burns for Vi, and the bright light that overshadowed Tina and healed her in such a way that her upcoming surgery was simply canceled. However, I suspect that your prayers and results much like mine. While some are healed, most are never healed. Many received medical attention that alleviated their problems. Others died from their sicknesses. I conclude two things: first, it is not always God's will to heal; second, He has reasons that He wants some sicknesses to remain unhealed. I’ve thought a lot about Paul’s healing prayers for others. There are none—except for the three times He prayed for God to remove the satanic stake twisting in his flesh. I am certain that he prayed for people to be healed physically; but, those prayers were not recorded--perhaps because curing sickness is not nearly such a big deal to the Lord as it is to us. Paul’s prayers reveal his deep concern for the maturing of the internal-eternal-human spirit. He never prayed for anyone’s body to get well—he never stopped praying for the development of the inner person. Let me share a couple of examples. "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, . . . may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe" (Ephesians 1:15-19). "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being" (Ephesians 3:14-19). When Timothy was sick with various stomach ailments Paul did not pray for his healing or send him to the local-Christian faith healer. He advised him that a little wine would be good for his stomach (1 Timothy 5:23). I think we might do well to follow Paul’s example when he prayer for Jesus to remove the "thorn" from his flesh. Three times was enough. To keep me from becoming conceited, because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But, He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). “Thorn" is the Greek word describing a “tent stake” that is driven into the ground. The Babylonians used the word to describe the sharpened trees used for impaling people. “Torment” is a Greek boxing term meaning, “to beat, to strike with the fist.” Paul had a stake impaled in his body tormenting him to keep him humble. There are four primary guesses as to the nature of Paul's thorn: First, he was ugly—probably a result of his five beatings with rods, three whippings, and one stoning (2 Corinthians 10:10). Second, he was often incapacitated with malaria contracted in the marshy areas of the southern coast line of Turkey. Third, he struggled with epilepsy which was considered in the ancient world to be caused by demons (Galatians 4:3-14). Finally, and most probable of all, he had some sort of debilitating eye trouble. Think about the blind scales falling off of his eyes at his bright-light conversion in the desert, and the comment about his eyes he made to the Galatians (Galatians 4:15; 6:11; and Acts 23). I think that we might consider following Paul’s example. If we are not healed after three prayers we might assume that God has other things in mind. Too often we are obsessed with removing pain and problems. God, on the other hand, is obsessed with sensitizing our inner spirits. God will sacrifice the body every time if that is what it takes to mature the eternal! We can pray seven times to be healed of cancer; nevertheless, we will eventually succumb to death. Life is a terminal disease. Praying for healing is not eternally effective. There are no Biblical verses which describe angels rejoicing when bodies are healed! On the other hand, the angels rejoice when a lost sheep enters into eternal life. Too many Christians beg for God to change their situations and heal their bodies while not having the slightest idea of God’s eternal intentions. We must pray to see things from His  perspective and interpret the circumstances surrounding our souls and bodies in light of how our requests affect our inner spirits. To one degree or other, we are all like Paul in our weaknesses. Pray three times for healing. If He answers, "Yes," then rejoice and go on with life. Otherwise, look for a reason why Jesus is saying, “No.” If no healing occurs, consider that God wants us to live with it and find grace and strength accordingly. Of course there is more to this story. Just because Paul and God handled his thorn in one way does not mean that He will always handle our troubles likewise. One of the Disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray (Luke 11:1-13). He shared the Lord's Prayer and then told a parable about a man who received a visitor late at night. It was customary to feed a guest upon arrival. Unfortunately, the man with the guest had no food. This was a big deal in their culture. So, he went to his neighbor and asked for some bread. HIs neighbor was bedded down for the night and refused to get up. The man seeking bread begged and pleaded but his neighbor refused and refused. Finally, to get rid of him the neighbor got out of bed and  gave him some bread. Then, Jesus said, "Though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless persistence will surely get up and give you as much as you need." Then, Jesus followed up the parable with these encouraging words, "Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you." Some translate the three Greek verbs in the imperfect tense as "keep on asking; keep on seeking, and keep on knocking…" However, I think that in this context, translating the imperfect here as ongoing action misses the point of Jesus' parable. The implication as translated here is that we have to keeping praying and pleading with God and if we are persistent enough, He will give us what we ask, seek and knock for. I don't think that this is what He meant. He continued on to say that if sinful earthly dads know how to give gifts to their children,  then how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. Matthew records Jesus' follow up like this: “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! When we put the entire passage in context we see that Jesus is doing everything possible to communicate that God in not at all like the sleeping neighbor who had to be pestered and pestered until he finally gave the man what he wanted in order to get rid of him. Our God is not like that at all. He is a Father who delights to give good gifts to those who ask, seek and knock. We don't ever need to beg, plead and cajole. All we have to do is ask because He can hardly wait to give good things to us. When I was thirteen the Dallas doctors told us that I had a hole in my heart and needed surgery to close it. I was only thirteen but I knew how to pray. Praying for God's healing work was as easy as asking mom for breakfast. Without a doubt, many other were praying for me, too. Two weeks before the surgery I dreamed that God answered the prayers and healed me. It never dawned on me to ask the doctors to recheck. I told mom about the dream and she said, "Oh, well, that is interesting." Several days later the heart surgeon sat on my bed in the I.C.U. "I hate to tell you," he said, "but we made a terrible mistake. There is nothing wrong with your heart. I held your heart right in my hand, I slit it open to find the hole and there was none. I put it back in and sewed you up. You have a perfect heart." God was delighted to give me what I'd asked for. I imagine that He was just waiting for the moment when I first asked Him to do His healing work. Unfortunately, I failed to check on His answer, even when He sent me a dream. I've tried to listen to Him more closely ever since. How many times you pray for healing or the removal of difficulties is between you and God. I am not about to try to limit the times you want to pray for something. What I hope is that you will see that God is not lingering or waiting until you have begged enough before granting your desire. If the answer it to be, "Yes," then He never hesitates. He passes it on as soon as possible. What I do hope is that when God says, "NO", that you will stop praying and begin focusing both on how God is using your trial to mature your inner spirit and on how He intends to use this trouble to bring Him glory. Now. back to our missionary friend in the Middle East. After the prayer meeting he and I discussed the genetic implications of his disorder. We shook his family tree and all sorts of ancestors with the same malady fell out. “There is medical treatment which can give you great relief. Go see a doctor.” The next morning the missionary approached me as I was eating breakfast and said, “Thanks, I needed those insights about Paul and his thorn. I’d forgotten that His grace is sufficient.” Well, Questioners Throughout The Years, I hope it gives you some insight into how and when and how much to pray for all sorts of things. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, I believe in God. I believe Jesus as my savior and that he sacrificed himself for our sins. When I go to church though, I find many people to be hypocritical. I know I’m not perfect and neither are they, but as a teenager (16) what can I do to show people I take this seriously. I pray and I’m starting to read the Bible for myself, but sometimes I find myself secluded from everyone. Like I’m different and even my friends, but I don’t want to be alone. Sincerely, Andrea   Dear Andrea, It sounds like to me that you’re in a church filled with spiritual children. The greatest tragedy in the Christian Church are spiritual children who never grow up. No wonder your heart is spiritually aching. I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, you are exposed to people who choose to remain spiritual children instead of growing up to maturity as spiritual mothers or fathers. Try not to be disillusioned by them. Grieve for them.   You are well advised to look for others with hearts like yours—desiring to go on with Christ at any price. While the journey may at times be lonely and difficult, you are not the only one on the –is path. Pray and keep your eyes open to find spiritually-like -minded followers of Christ. They are there.   A.W. Tozer wrote: “Every man or woman is just as spiritual as he or she wants to be.” Pray for God to make you a spiritual mother at any price. This is one prayer I guarantee He will answer.   I am going to share with you a tragic failure in spiritual growth that I’ve observed during forty years of leading seminars and disciple groups on the topic: Most Christians are not nearly as spiritual as they think they are.   Let’s imagine that I have 100 people in the class. During the initial session I ask everyone to close their eyes and raise their hands in turn to designate how far along they are in their spiritual journeys. “How many consider your selves to be spiritual children?” Twenty-five hands raise. “How many consider your selves to be spiritual young men or women?” Sixty-five will raise their hands. “How many consider your selves to be spiritual mothers or fathers?” Ten signify by raising theirs.   Five weeks later, after I have detailed the characteristics of each spiritual level, I repeat the test. Their perceptions have radically changes. “Raise your hands,” I say to them. “Spiritual Children?” Sixty-three hands. “Young Men or Women?” Thirty-four hands. “Spiritual Mothers or Fathers?” Three.   God intends to mature His children from infancy to full-blown-spiritual maturity. He grieves when His children choose otherwise.   In Hebrews 5:11–14 , the author was desperately concerned about young Christians who were lagging behind in their spiritual growth:   We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.   Christians who refuse or neglect to grow up are in danger of becoming hardened and insensitive to the promptings of God—or even worse—of slipping and sliding back away from Christ. The writer to the Hebrews pleaded continuously with his readers not to stagnate and fall away from Christ ( Hebrews 3:12-14 ; 4:1-16 ; 6:4-6 ; and 10:26-27 ). Peter pleaded with his hearers to grow up. As infants, they could handle only milk. He encouraged them to grow up so they could chew on the deeper things of God ( 1 Peter 2:2 ).   The Greek word translated here as “slow to learn” is often translated as “lazy”. These young Christians were lazy. The writer of Hebrews expected them to grow up, learn the foundational truths, and be well on their way to maturity. But by their own choices, they’d quit. They were stymied, moving backwards on their spiritual journeys.   Baby Christians, who choose to remain babies, do so for many reasons.   Some drop out early because they can’t handle the persecution that comes with following Christ. Others drop out early because earthly distractions are so alluring. How tragic! Some babies aren’t lazy at work or at home or with their hobbies; but they are lazy and inattentive to spiritual things. The Bible is to be studied and learned diligently. The spiritual life is to be cultivated and lived with endurance and consistency. Some are proud—so full of themselves that they rarely seek the Father’s guidance. Others imagine that whatever they don’t already know and experience is not really necessary.”   But, by and away, the reason most spiritual children fail to mature is because the cost is too high.   In the latter days of my mother’s life she refused to use her walker. It wasn’t long until she fell and broke her hip. Shortly after the surgery, she was in agony. Nevertheless she was forced to get up and walk the hospital hallways in order to rehabilitate her rapidly deteriorating muscles. The alternative was never to get out of bed again. During the first session with the physical therapist, my mom yelled again and again, “Stop it! Stop it! You’re hurting me!” The young woman patiently explained that she had done this many times and knew what was best. My mom replied, “You do not know best. I know better than you do what I need!” She refused to get out of bed. Later that night, I was exercising Mom’s leg. She was not happy. She wanted to be left alone. No matter how I moved it, she hurt; she cried out in pain; she begged me to stop. Then, she started calling me, “Idiot!” I was shocked! She had never called me names in my life! I patiently explained how I loved her too much to stop—even if it did hurt. She looked at me with anger and said slowly and deliberately: “And I thought you were the good son.” Mom chose not to tolerate the pain necessary for a good recovery. She gave up too quickly—and walked with a painful, shuffling gait for the rest of her life.   Fortunately, some choose to go on to maturity at any price and they produce fruit—and a lot of it ( Matthew 13:20–22 ).   Three Levels of Spiritual Maturity   God designed spiritual growth to move through three specific, well-delineated stages. In 1 John 2:12–14 , John spoke to spiritual children, spiritual young men and women, and spiritual mothers and fathers. As you read this passage, be sure to notice the descriptions of each level:   I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.   Spiritual Children   Spiritual children begin their relationships with Jesus. In their initial encounters, He is little more than an acquaintance or at most a casual friend. Full intimacy will come later. Children know that God has forgiven their sins and that Christ is their Savior. They’ve taken the first step on we hope will be lifelong journeys.   Spiritual Young Men and Women   According to John, the “Word of God” lives in spiritual young men and women. At face value, the phrase refers to the Bible. However, John has a much deeper meaning in mind. In John’s writings, the term “Word of God” consistently refers to the Person of Jesus Christ. The word “Logos” is a Greek philosophical term describing the unrevealed wisdom of God. John made a bold claim in the opening pages of his gospel when he declared that the “unrevealed wisdom of God” put on a body and lived on the earth ( John 1:1-14 ). Jesus Christ was God in human flesh. Of course, the term Word of God also refers to the Bible. Spiritual young men and women are becoming very close friends with the Bible as well as with the Word of God Himself, Jesus Christ.   Overcoming the Devil   Young men and women have “overcome the Evil One.” They know how to resist temptation; they know how to fight Satan on his ground and win (2:14). I pastored a small, rural church during my college years. Richard, one of the fine Christian men in our church, suffered a massive heart attack and was in a coma. On Thursday, Julie and I went to the hospital to encourage his wife, Jane. Because it was lunchtime, we offered to sit with her husband while she took a break. Richard was unconscious and unable to communicate, so Julie and I chatted together and then decided to pray for him. About five minutes into our prayer, Richard uttered strangely, “Jesus Christ did not come in the flesh.” Startled, I looked at Julie; she looked at me. We both knew 1 John 4:2-3 :   This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.   “Roger” Julie whispered, “Did he say, ‘Jesus Christ did not come in the flesh’?” “I think so!” “Do you think he has a demonic spirit of antichrist?” “I wouldn’t think so. Just that morning in my “Life and Teachings of Christ” class, the professor taught about Jesus’ encounter with the Gadarene demoniac. I looked at Julie and said, “Dr. Flanders said that whenever Jesus confronted a demon, He first found out the demon’s name. If this is a demon, let’s pray for it to reveal its name.” We had no idea what we were doing! We held hands, bowed our heads, touched his shoulders, and prayed, “If this is a demonic spirit, we demand in the name of Jesus Christ, by the blood of Jesus Christ, that you reveal your name!” Our comatose friend moved his lips to pronounce the words, “My name is Clarissus.” “Clarissus?!?” His name was Richard! Julie started to cry; I froze in shock. She took a deep breath and asked, “What do we do now?” “I don’t know! The dismissal bell rang before Dr. Flanders finished the lecture. All I know is that Jesus cast that demon out into some pigs! Should we pray for the demon to come out?” We resumed positions and prayed . . . nothing happened. After a while, his wife returned. “Well, how’d it go?” she asked. I looked at Julie; she looked at me. “Fine,” I lied. Julie and I were in the parking lot when Jane ran out of the hospital lobby, yelling, “What happened in there? What happened in there?” I looked at Julie; she looked at me. “Um . . . nothing . . . we just prayed for Richard.” “Well,” she said, “he has this big smile on his face. Something happened in there!” About ten o’clock that night, Richard regained consciousness, opened his eyes and said to Jane, “I had the strangest dream. I was climbing up the steps to Heaven, and when I got to the gate, Peter said, ‘You can’t come in now.’ So, I climbed back down the steps. I guess this means that God has some special things left for me to do.” Ten minutes later, Richard had another massive coronary. I buried him three days later. Questions spun widely around in my mind as we laid him to rest. The answers that I wanted were buried with him. When I was nineteen-years old I began to pray, “Dear Jesus, please make me a spiritual man at any price,” I never imagined that this might include “overcoming the evil one.” In the ensuing years, I’ve fought numerous spiritual battles with some exhilarating victories and many heartbreaking defeats. By the way, battles with Satan and his forces are seldom overt. Most Christians will never have an encounter like the one we had with Clarissus. Most spiritual battles are internal struggles that are won through consistent discipleship and by utilizing the biblical tools God has placed already at our disposal. I’ve chosen to share this particular story in the beginning pages of this book so that we might engage with the fact that the lessons of each stage of growth must be mastered! Some children say, “I want to be a spiritual father/mother, but I don’t believe in that spiritual warfare kind of stuff.” They do not understand. Defeating the Evil One in spiritual hand to hand combat is part of the process. We can’t go on to maturity without success in this area.   Spiritual Mothers and Fathers   Spiritual mothers and fathers experience the infinite depths of a relationship with God the Father Himself. Twice John repeats: “You have known Him who is from the beginning” ( 1 John 2:13 , 14 ). John was using this phrase to communicate some measure of the unfathomable depths of the infinite character of God. Just think of it! Spiritual parents are intimate friends with God. The fruit of the spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23 includes “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” These character traits flow forth freely in the lives of spiritual men and women. Rarely are they mired in the mud of their sinful natures ( Galatians 5:16 ). Their lives are clothed with humility and grace. They remind others of what Jesus is like. They are more likely to live above difficult circumstances. They live the victorious Christian life. Buck Craven, one of our church founders, was a building contractor who had planned and saved for retirement. His plans were foiled when a building job turned sour. I suppose he could have claimed bankruptcy like so many others, defrauding his creditors and leaving them high and dry. But, for Buck, his Christian testimony was at stake. He promised to pay off every debt. He and Jessie Mae sold their house and moved into a small mobile home. The proceeds of the sale went to his creditors. The money earmarked for retirement paid off others. He kept working into his seventies until all of his debts were eradicated. Spiritual mothers and fathers long ago waded through the questions, struggles, doubts, self-reliance, self-centeredness, and self-condemnation that cause so many to stumble or turn back from the journey. Mothers and fathers long to experience the resurrected life of Christ at any price. The progression from spiritual childhood to young man/womanhood to father/motherhood parallels the spiritual progression of the three periods of Moses’ 120-year life. Moses spent the first part of his life thinking he was somebody important. He was a prince of Egypt, raised in the palace by Pharaoh’s daughter. Tradition tells us that he was a powerful soldier who led a successful military campaign against the Ethiopians during a border dispute in southern Egypt. Moses spent his first forty years in Egypt full of self-reliance. When he was forty, he began sensing the pain and suffering of his Hebrews brothers and sisters. He murdered an Egyptian who was whipping a Hebrew slave. Fearing capture and punishment, he fled Egypt. From age forty to eighty, Moses tended sheep in the deserts of Midian. He was a “nobody”—useless to God and man. He suffered debilitating bouts of self-condemnation during this second third of his life, as evidenced by his response when God called him to lead His people out of Egypt. Kneeling beside the burning bush at the age of eighty, he confessed, “God, I can’t do it. Surely, You don’t want me! Why don’t You use my brother, Aaron?” (See Exodus 3-4 ). But God had plans for Moses. He spent the last forty years of his life discovering what God can do with anybody. With the rod of God, Moses confronted Pharaoh, instigated disastrous plagues, split the Red Sea, and led the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt and up to the threshold of the Promised Land. God loves to take no bodies and turn them into somebodies. He demonstrated with Moses what He can do with anybody!   A Lifelong Affair   The growth process John outlined implies a long-term commitment. Nothing less than wholehearted devotion will suffice. The process is not for the faint of heart. However, along the way, we will increasingly experience the deepening love and resurrection power of Christ. We can’t help but develop an irresistible urge to become like Christ at any price. In Principles of Spiritual Growth, Miles Stanford laid out the process God employs in molding us to maturity:   It is more than comforting to realize that it is those who have plumbed the depths of their own failure to whom God invariably gives the call to shepherd others. This is not a call given to the gifted, the highly trained, or the polished as such. Without a bitter experience of their own inadequacy and poverty they are quite unfitted to bear the burden of spiritual ministry. It takes a man who has discovered something of the measures of his own weakness to be patient with the foibles of others. Such a man also has a firsthand knowledge of the loving care of the Chief Shepherd. . . . The Lord does not give the charge, “Be a shepherd to My lambs . . . to my sheep,” on hearing Peter’s self-confident affirmation of undying loyalty, but He gives it after he has failed to keep his vows and has wept bitterly in the streets of Jerusalem. 12   OK. Reflect on what you’ve just read. Think of what stands out most in your mind. Make it a marker point in your growth. Now, not too quickly, with thought, meaning and surrender, let’s pray our prayer.   Dear Father, Thank you for the progress I’ve made together with you in my spiritual journey. Please nurture me along the path of maturity at any price. Amen.   By the way, you might enjoy reading, “Hinds Feet On High Places,” by Hannah Hurnard which is the road map of spiritual maturity in story-book fore as well as the sequel, “Mountains of Spices.” God bless. Love, Roger

Dear Roger, Could space be a part of heaven? Sincerely, Simbi Dear Simbi, If Heaven is in just the right place in space, it might begin to explain how God can be omnipresent (every where all the time); omniscient (all knowing) and omnipotent (all powerful) instantaneously throughout the universe. “Heaven is out beyond the North Star,” said the preacher when I was a boy. “There are no stars out beyond the North Star, just vast empty space. This is where Heaven is.” I was so impressed. Now I know better. Just as many stars exist behind the North Star as they do every where else in space. The idea of what’s “out there” has puzzled mankind since ancient times. It puzzles still today. Every culture developed a cosmology to explain the world they could see but never touch. Some cultures figured better than others. For example, the wise men from Babylon were “star gazers” who figured out the meaning of the stars leading to Bethlehem. Prehistoric peoples figured out enough about the universe to erect Stonehenge with astral accuracy. By looking down a deep well during the summer solstice, the ancient Egyptians figured out that the earth was round, rotating and revolving around the sun. Compare the Egyptian astronomers with the Pope in Rome, who only recently admitted that the church was wrong and Galileo was right. The sun doesn’t revolve the earth. It’s the other way around. Paul’s understanding of the universe was consistent with the cosmology of his day which postulated the existence of three Heavens. Paul wrote: “I know a man in Christ (Paul was talking about himself) fourteen years ago who was caught up to the third Heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man … was caught up to Paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that a man is not permitted to tell” (2 Corinthians 12:2-4). According to the cosmology of Paul’s time and place, the First Heaven was the atmosphere where birds fly; clouds move and people breathe. In the Second Heaven the sun, moon and stars moved and shined. The Third Heaven was “way out there,” where God and the angels dwelled. Paul’s understanding of the cosmos is quite unlike ours today. But, that’s OK. Neither the Bible nor Paul ever tried to establish the actual location of Heaven. Paul just told us that he was taken there. So, where is Heaven ? And, what are the implications for the nature and character of God? Ever since I got over the “North Star stuff”, I’ve wondered about the other “stuff”. Is Heaven a spirit world just a step away from ours? Think about it. In His spiritual body Jesus walked through walls, got hungry, ate dinner with the Disciples, changed appearances and even let Thomas touch His nailed-scared hands (Luke 21:30-43; John 20:19-20, 24-29). Where was He just before He stepped into their midst? Does the spirit world somehow connect with our physical world? Is Heaven right among us, just in a different spacial dimension? I’ll try to make this very simple. As Dr. Harry Ironside used to say about his preaching, “I try to put the cookies on the shelf where everyone can get them.” Billy Graham often said that he tried to preach at the eighth-grade level. Current String Theory predicts that every elementary particle is a tiny string that vibrates at a particular frequency. Change the frequency and change the type of particle. I’m not surprised about this. The Bible says, that music plays continuously throughout God’s universe (Psalm 19:1-4). String theory postulates that God created a universe with at least ten spacial dimensions (or twenty-four, but that is another story. Six of the dimensions were rolled up like lines inside of “tiny straws” (Try to imagine that!) The other four dimensions are those we know: length, width, height and time. Here is the point. Mathematically speaking, if we keep moving on to higher dimensions, as we pass through the 10 th spacial dimension into the 11 th dimension, everything becomes a single point. Think of the implications! This can explain how God is everywhere all the time because everything is where He is all the time. This can explain how God knows everything going on in the universe because he is everywhere to observe it all the time. This can explain how God instantaneously powers and controls anything that He wants to anywhere in the universe. The Book of Hebrews teaches that God created the universe from nothing. The creation occurred at a single place, at a single time, and at a single point (Hebrews 11:3; and John 1:1-3). This point of creation is called a singularity. I wonder if the universe that God created as a singularity is, in eleven dimensions, still a singularity and explains the interaction of the spirit world with ours. All of this comes together in my mind when I think of Jesus’ words of comfort He gave to the Disciples in the upper room the night before He was crucified. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:1-3). Jesus knows the very moment that we die because He is in position to know everything. He is able to take us immediately to Heaven because He is always present with us. Finally, because of His awesome power, He has more than enough strength to take us right into Heaven. Thanks, Simbi, for the great question. I like to think about the “stuff”, especially when it may provide insight into the Bible and into the nature and character of God. Simbi, I hope that you find my answer helpful. Sincerely, Roger